Ultima 9: Ascension (Finale)

The Spoony One | Aug 11 2012 | more notation(s) | 

Part 3

Part 4

The Avatar’s quest reaches its conclusion as Spoony confronts the Guardian and decides the fate of this world!

  • http://twitter.com/EIsentinela EIsentinela

    O_O almost 3:00 of the morning… im glad i didn’t sleep early today.
    Let’s finish this

  • Scirocco

    I guess 50gp so I was pretty close. Also, I like the subtle FFXIII holding that Burton has rocking.

  • http://twitter.com/hankslps Victor Asserud

    Yeey, two parts in the same day!

  • http://www.facebook.com/DevonReed45 Devon Reed

    Poor spoony, he has become it… the loss of all sanity, he now embodies the insanity you achieve for playing all Ultimas without breaking form the insanity, he is not trapt in the spell of insanity.

    • http://www.facebook.com/DevonReed45 Devon Reed

      I should add here Spoony final reply to the guardian is probably one of the best, and most bad-ass replies to a villain i have ever heard/seen/watched in any piece or fiction or reality, ever.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jesse-Vaillancourt/507894169 Jesse Vaillancourt

    Holy shit!! I’ve been waiting for this!!! oh insomnia… you work in funny ways sometimes

  • http://twitter.com/Eniacc Eniac

    “Okay all done, time to slee-huh? New feed? Spoony Ulti… DAMMIT SPOONY!”

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Amanda-Low/100000931121608 Amanda Low

    … Spoony’s eyes… They’re getting worse…

    • J_Cob

      Judging by the video progression of his eyes and face from parts 3 to 4 it looks like he’s using makeup.

      • http://twitter.com/McphuckCocker PMS-Gaming2020

        How do you know?

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Amanda-Low/100000931121608 Amanda Low

        … I’m aware, in fact I figured that out instantly. It’s just… creepy…

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Amanda-Low/100000931121608 Amanda Low

      Again, I know it’s makeup. Just saying. Jeez….

      • http://twitter.com/McphuckCocker PMS-Gaming2020

        How do you know?

  • http://twitter.com/hankslps Victor Asserud


  • http://twitter.com/TheFinalEnding The Fallen One

    Ehh…Part 4 isn’t on blip…bit odd dat?

  • http://www.facebook.com/Nabexis Sabine E Vecchio

    “… put my balls in a salad shooter.” How the HELL did you say that without cracking up?!

  • http://www.facebook.com/alexjtanner Sasha Red

    Fucking Awesome! Also does this mean your going to review Final Fantasy 13?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jesse-Vaillancourt/507894169 Jesse Vaillancourt

    Whoa dude, your eyes at 17:10 of the first video holy shit man! What is this game doing to you!!??

  • http://twitter.com/tpayne8888 Tristan Payne

    Holy shit…that was Epic.

  • http://www.facebook.com/lee.karpel.7 Lee Karpel

    a truly badass and fitting way to end the video!!! thank you for putting so much time and effort into making these videos. they truly are the best part of my day

  • http://twitter.com/DoodTheMan Dante Alberti

    I FUCKING CALLED IT!!! I GUESSED WHAT THE REWARD WAS!!! Where’s my $1,000,000 prize?

    • http://twitter.com/kyriakitriti Alexandria White

      Your reward is a million pounds of tube steak from Sewer Shark.

  • http://twitter.com/Riza4077 Riza

    That ending was fucking fantastic. Your Ultima series has been excellent Spoony.

  • TerminalSanity

    Indeed, facing down one’s foe even amidst the deepest of despairs, when all seems lost, everything and every cause you’ve come to believe has been utterly betrayed and still finding the strength to fight on, that is a Paladin.

    Take a bow Spoony that was an f-ing brilliant closer.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cart-Man/100002326540155 Cart Man

      Well said.

  • Jared Fullyfisted

    Wow. That was pretty epic. I agree that last line was absolutely killer.

    Not wall-to-wall funniness due to how personal it was for you and this game, but still very entertaining. I’m constantly amazed by the crap that gets produced. Everyone who complains about ME3′s ending needs to look at Ultima IX’s…

    I was also worried for a little while because I wasn’t sure if it was makeup….

    • http://twitter.com/dmh3000 David Herbert

      Yeah, it was a great job. Wonder if he had someone help or if he did it himself.

      • http://twitter.com/McphuckCocker PMS-Gaming2020

        Yeah, it was a great blow job. Wonder if he had someone help or if he did it himself.

    • Zolwiol

      So we can’t complain about shit because there is a bigger shit somwhere?

      • Jared Fullyfisted

        ..that’s a good point. I guess really I should have said “Keep complaining about ME3 because that did suck BUT once in a while say ‘At least it wasn’t Ultima IX’”

        The weird thing is, and I might be too tired right now, but to me there seem to be a few parallels… Shepard and the Avatar are railroaded into heroic sacrifices that are logically avoidable, furthermore what kills them shouldn’t logically kill them (Star Child’s explanation is extremely vague, Avatar SURVIVES the Armageddon spell in previous games), both Shepard and Avatar lose personality traits and abilities (Shepard suddenly is unable to debate highly flawed logic, Avatar has NO benefits of being a Titan) and The Guardian and Star Child as characters seem to make about as much sense.

        Somebody at EA likes heroic sacrifices? Also, I just realised a few of those apply to Fallout 3′s ending… maybe heroic sacrifices should just be avoided in RPGs?

        • Gabriel Croath

          Not necessarily avoided, just used logically. Say, in ME3′s case, the heroic sacrifice should have been the fallback-plan: If you made a great playthrough, you would have gotten a happy ending where Shepard lives, but if for some reason you couldn’t gather enough war-assets but still wanted a happy ending for the galaxy, Shepard could have done a suicide-run on the Star Child’s server or something, sacrificing himself in the process. In short, it could have been a choice of the character (and in extension, the player) instead of a railroaded, unavoidable plot-device shoehorned in by the writers…

        • http://twitter.com/RichieJack1996 Courier

          I have to say about Fallout 3, The game itself was great with a pulling you along storyline that was decent at best. The ending though was disappointing. Sacrifices are nice and all, but only when they work into the character and how the story writes them in. I believe they should be foreshadowed in a way where the player knows it will happen but not be “afraid” of it. I’ve never played any of the Mass Effect games to compare to what I’m going to say. But, Fallout 3′s ending was so poorly written in. It’s made so that if your character is good He dies, but if he’s bad he shoves someone else into his position. When throughout the whole story you’re not written to be a hero just to find your father and help him. So this sacrifice is unnecessary, (especially if you have Fawkes with you) I believe the “Ending” the dlc’s give you is a better one. You’re still alive, and you can still explore and help, or hurt, people.
          I guess I went off track of the point of the OP but still how I feel.

  • http://twitter.com/Eniacc Eniac

    Just when you think his endings can’t get any more epic, when you think all the epicness in the world has been used. THIS happens.
    *standing ovation*

  • http://twitter.com/RetardTmin Teo Muffin

    The greatest review, I think.
    It was epic from beginning till end.

    I even cried when Spoony was talking about his childhood memories.
    Keep doing this way, Noah.

  • Sara Jean

    …That…was freaking awesome!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1343065340 Michael John Hogan

    I read wow text too <3

  • http://twitter.com/TheFinalEnding The Fallen One

    Also, I kinda sympathize with ya here, having lived through the wallowing despair of utter solitary, watching as the world crumbles, but whilst you still hold your humanity, kinda, I gave into the darkness and relish the suffering of others. The desire to shape the world to a true image or have it burn trying, that is the true essence of a Dark Knight

  • Faustikins

    Oh Noah..your eyes. It was so hard to watch this video. I’m really starting to worry about you. We all are =(

    • Nic Ziolkowski

      Makeup dude, don’t worry

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jesse-Vaillancourt/507894169 Jesse Vaillancourt

      those make up effects, especially in part 3 were really convincing lol

  • http://twitter.com/BHGOzzy Benjamin Osborn

    That’s a Paladin.

    Okay, that was damn epic Spoony. Well worth the wait. Also I loved how you added makeup between shots.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jesse-Vaillancourt/507894169 Jesse Vaillancourt

    That ending was fucking bad ass, nuff said.

  • Princess Stabbity

    …Wow. Words fail me… so just… wow.

  • http://www.facebook.com/larslt Lars Lau Thygesen

    As i guy who started gaming back in ´86, I salute you & your Ultimate review series.
    You make us old-skool retro gamers proud!

    • smek2

      And what also pisses me off is, that on MobyGames this piece of crap got a 3.8 out of 5 rating and some reviews praising it. I rated it 0 but it takes more “old-skool retro gamers” to put this horrible game in it’s place.

      • http://www.facebook.com/larslt Lars Lau Thygesen

        Then you should see Gamesradar “100 best games of all time”, that list is an fucking insult to our kind.

        Not one Sierra game is on that list. But at least Monkey Island 1 was on it.

  • Draigan

    Loved this ending was a great ride the whole way through and while i
    somehow missed the ultima series growing up we all have a game series
    like that that screwed us hard ;)

    HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA didn’t know where you where going for a minute with that last historical tidbit but dam i was laughing my ass off at the end

  • searanox

    Amazing ending. Capstone on your best video series. Looking forward to more!

  • smek2

    My god, what has this game done to you? Stop tormenting yourself! t’s not worth it. Flee!

  • Nic Ziolkowski

    Epic use of the ME3 ost Noah. It really helped solidify the drama in the end scene.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Therese-Andersson-Edén/1596615119 Therese Andersson Edén

    Oh dear… As soon as you started to retort to the guardian in the end… yes… YES… YEESSSSS! >D That ending was awesome!

  • http://twitter.com/SnarkDaWark SnarkDaWark

    A paladin holds only unto his vows, not for fear of evil, but for the
    knowledge that when the day comes that he must abandon them, it shall be
    for a threat so great that his fall shall crush his foes beneath his

    **SP: *sighs* “You seem to be under misconception about what I
    am, what I
    do. I am a Paladin, that is true, but as a Paladin you don’t fear
    falling… I look forward to it”

    The cultist shot a nervous look
    at the rest of the party, we were all looking at each other, not sure
    what was about to happen. The cultist opened his mouth to speak, but Sir
    Peter cut him off.

    SP: “As a Paladin, I walk on a razors edge.
    Not between good and evil, I could never be something like you, but
    between “law” and “Justice”. The Law I fall doesn’t permit me to harm
    you, but I could be justified in anything I did to you in order to save
    innocent lives, ANYTHING!

    - “You don’t know what it is like to be me, you don’t know the pain of
    having to store all your anger, all your fury, your sense of justice,
    and hold it inside you, all day every day for the rest of your life.
    Doing the right thing doesn’t mean I get to stop all evil, I just get to
    trim it when it becomes over grown. The path I walk is not about
    vengeance, or what’s right, its about moderation in the face of power,
    restraint and compassion for scum like you.

    - “This is why
    Paladin don’t fear falling. We don’t spend all day looking for ways to
    prevent ourselves from doing evil and giving in to the darkness. We
    actively seek it out. Every time we face evil, we have to ask ourselves,
    “Is this the threat i’m going to give it all for, is this what I am
    going to give up my ability to help others in the future, in order to
    bring down now, is this the evil that I am willing to forsake my God and
    my Power to stop!”.

    At this point, he stands up suddenly and
    swings his arm against the chair he was sitting on. Sending it flying
    and shattered against a wall, he then kicks over the chair the cultist
    was sitting on, he leaps and straddles his chest, flinging him about for
    a few seconds in pure rage, before calming once more.

    He looks the cultist straight in the face, both their noses just inches
    from each other.

    - “What you should be asking yourself now, what you really need to be
    thinking about, is; “Is what I’m doing something thats goes make this
    guy want to fall”, because you should know, that once I fall, all those
    rules which protect you from me are gone. No longer will I be able to be
    stopped by you, or by my order, or by my God. If I give everything, and
    I mean give everything, I will never stop. If you escape me today, I
    will hunt you down and grab you into the pits of hell myself. Even if
    that means that I have to invoke the wrath of every demon in creation,
    just so they throw open a pit and drag me down where I stand, because
    when they do dragged me down, I will make sure that my fists are wrapped
    firmly around your ankles and you go down with me. I want you to listen
    to me now, and I mean really listen, because hell truly hath no fury
    like a Paladin scorned.

    - “So I ask you, one last time, tell
    me where the other rituals are being held, or I swear to all on high
    that I will fall, and fall hard, just do I can show you what it is that
    Paladin truly keeps his code to hold back…”

    At this point the player, Chris, just stops talking and looks at us. We
    are all kind of stunned by his speech, naturally.

    He just picks up a D20, looks at the DM and say “I wish to roll

    - From ‘A powder keg of justice’, /tg/ – Traditional Games, 4chan (
    http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/10111656/ )

    • http://twitter.com/TheFinalEnding The Fallen One

      …did not think off this interpretation of Paladin, with all my cure/dps builds, unfettered relentless methodology and ability to spot possible inversions, I didn’t spot this, fuck this Dark Knight BS, I’m going by Paladin of Blood now!

    • http://twitter.com/Solin_Outlander Jay Logan

      That… is awesome. And so perfectly describes how I’d like to make my own Paladin in Pathfinder.

    • xris wolff

      smart and intriguing ideology a paladin has, but as evil and genius some people are, he can be fooled into falling for the wrong man. a set-up to watch the paladin fall, until the truest of evils arises from the shadows. the party would be that much weaker, while the paladin beliefs wholly in what he destroyed in his fall, he was mistaken. you may have rid off one evil, but another still lurks far more powerful than the furious. a decoy, if you will, took the fall with the paladin. awesome little speech there, though.

      just speculation from the bad guys point of view ^_^

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jamie-Sheil/594748387 Jamie Sheil

    spoonys eyes, it looks like he’s undergoing sith corruption. Seriously, how Bad is Spoonys health at the moment?

    • http://projectkork.blogspot.com DerKork

      If you look at his twitter, it seems that he’s doing much better than before his problems were discovered and appropriately medicated. So, yeah, he’s doing okay healthwise (AFAIK) – and the corrupted look is primarily makeup combined with some of the best acting I’ve seen from Mr. Noah Antwiler.

  • http://twitter.com/dmh3000 David Herbert

    You know what, after hearing your story about you play Ultima as a kid… I want to say fuck off to anyone who complains about nitpicking for this review. I saw Dan Didio and Jim Lee turn one of my favourite characters from my childhood into a masturbation aid, but you? Holy shit do I not envy you. This is betrayal.

    Also, Miles, if you read these, you are awesome. (Unless you have another brother, in which case he’s awesome).

  • http://twitter.com/86TheJehuty M.A Ajab

    Oh God, that was…shit, I’m speechless. 0_0

  • http://www.facebook.com/luuk.vandesande Luuk Van de Sande

    Holy shit that was badass (:

  • http://twitter.com/DefectiveType40 Dylan Roy

    Oh man, this was just what I needed. My laptop’s on its last legs and has been playing videos like shit lately, but this was so great I managed to ignore the choppiness. That ending… that’s probably the best one-liner I’ve ever heard and I’m not even sure if it’s technically a one-liner.

    Also, excellent make-up work. At the beginning I wasn’t sure if it was make-up or if you were genuinely that tired during filming, but then as it started to spread out and down your cheeks I got the impression it wasn’t real.

    Excellent job, sir. I look forward to whatever comes next.

  • http://twitter.com/BlueTheBlueWolf Blue the Wolf

    This has not made my day, nor my week, nor my month. This has been possibly the single most epic experience I’ve had to date in my life, and OMG that ending! Well done, Sir, you are my hero.

  • http://twitter.com/RichieJack1996 Courier

    This was amazing. Watching the ending of this has made me think about how things have been lately. Whether the real life rage was actual problems or not. It seems that you’ve purposely set yourself up to look insane. mad, in the darkest area you can be. Seeing how your face transitioned from darkened eyes, to slight claw marks to at the end having your whole face just scratched up, you looking deeply depressed and mad. It’s genius! Spoony I hope that my stupid idea that all these problems you’re showing us in real life is just some publicity stunt, that yes in the end is one big middle finger to fans, but a great setup for your character throughout all your videos where you seemingly get more mad and angry at the littlest things. You’re a genius Spoony. I love your videos.

  • http://www.facebook.com/strauss.seb Sebastian Strauß

    When i´m lookin at your Face, I doubt even Snowflame could make this game good… or even work

  • http://www.facebook.com/nate.gervais.1 Nate Gervais

    Well that was quite an epic video indeed, do like the ending line. Though, I do have question, the scene of people throwing stuff at him, where was that recorded from

  • http://twitter.com/KatKaleen KatKaleen

    That was a rollercoaster ride of emotions with the most triumphant ending. THAT’S a Paladin!
    Oh yeah!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1258538896 Savanna Teague

    An excellent production, Spoony! I have to admit I got a bit misty-eyed during Part IV. Many hugs and kudos to you!

  • TheGreatCommenter

    “THAT… is a Paladin!”, that just sums it all up :).

    Thanks for sharing this great storyline with us, Spoony. It was a wonderful ride and I’ve enjoyed every minute of it!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Andrew-Carvin/100001033684440 Andrew Carvin

    Brilliant. =)

  • vicegt

    love the end, keep up the good work.

  • Whaleshooter

    Seriously worried about your eyes for a while. I didn’t realize it was makeup until towards the end. Loved the episode. The ending was so utterly badass, I’m completely speechless.

    • bliblublebliblu


    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Лев-Гринберг/100001901733340 Лев Гринберг

      Third this.

    • http://twitter.com/Aqluro alex minor


    • Coregoth88


    • Vismutti

      Heh, me too. I was all “holy shit, is he sick or is it insomnia or stress or something?” It took me a while to figure it out, I even thought the red streaks were some sort of imprints from pressing his fingers to his face too hard or something, at first. (To my defense, my eyesight isn’t that good) But when they got more prominent I FINALLY figured it out.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Chris-Evans/100001417852350 Chris Evans

    Ok, I saw the Destroy ending, and the Synthasis, but he didn’t give you a control option?!? :O

    Looooove this series Spoony!

  • http://www.facebook.com/florent.petit.98 Florent Petit

    Wow. Best ending to a review, ever.

    Stylish Spoony lives on.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Chris-Evans/100001417852350 Chris Evans

    Ok, I saw the Destroy ending, and the Synthasis, but where’s you didn’t get a control option?!? :O Great ending!

  • http://www.facebook.com/manny.icmncic Manny Icmncic

    An Excellent review Spoony, well worth the insomnia!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/John-Rindefjall/1016812382 John Rindefjäll

    great ending mate

  • http://twitter.com/unacomn unacomn

    That was an amazing show. Thank you for making it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Rav-Madder/100000841241900 Rav Madder

    what is the name of the song at the end of the video

    • http://www.facebook.com/DevilsNeverCry5 Travis Bauer

      it’s called “The Thing I Hate” by Stabbing Westward. the first time I heard it was tv spots for a Duke Nukem game years ago. great song.

  • http://twitter.com/MeToWa Merlin

    That was pretty boss. Nice work.

  • http://sbkmulletman.deviantart.com/ sbkMulletMan

    I was planning on staying up late and finishing the 4th Dark Tower book, but I think I just found a better use of my time!

    Sorry, Stephen King, but it’s Spoony’s turn right now. Times like this make me glad I’m a night owl!

  • Guus van Voorst

    I kind of felt sorry for Spoony during that intermission, having to endure such a complete and utter betrayal from not only his past game experience, but also the memories of his childhood… EA is a horrible horrible monster of a company that needs to die…
    I bet a lot of other players kind feel the same pain as you did when they made this crap…

  • http://twitter.com/Des_Shinta Davis S

    *Slow clap* Wonderful ending there, a superb badass scene. I had to watch that about three or four times just to properly comprehend the tirade before. I love how much emotion you put into the bit about you and your older (eldest?) brother waging war on Exodus. It’s probably the best statement you could make about this game; not the angry ranting, not the joke and quips at how stupid it is, not pointing out the bugs and the glitches and the continuity errors. How so many fond memories could be vandalized with such a travesty; that is the biggest impact to emphasize your point you could have made, and I hope you are and will remain Proud of that scene. People may have been up in arms with EA over Mass Effect this last year, but it’s clear this is the true abomination. That and the makeup to make you not look well, as if this was the last vestige that held in your sanity.
    And with tying this into the Sephiroth event, did not see that coming. Hope you’ve found or will find someone to assist you with obtaining Footage for XIII, as The ENTIRE Fabula Nova Crystalis series is a travesty worthy thrashing.

  • jjmdude

    Holy shit, Spoony.

    Seriously, I think you’ve proven what this series means to you. That part where you just talk about your exploits with your brother as a kid, it’s probably the most powerful and serious thing I’ve ever seen in a review. I want to say bravo on that acting, but I know a lot of that has to be genuine.

    And what really disturbed me was whatever you did with your eyes. The redness of them, and the streaks in the later parts of the review. At first I thought it was supposed to be the creeping corruption of The Guardian or something, and if it IS a makeup job, then Jesus man, you went all-out to prove a point with this game. Otherwise, it looks like you were damn-near crying your eyes out or something.

    Anyway, fantastic man, can’t wait to see how bad XIII is according to you. Also, don’t let that TGWTG shit get you down man. You’re awesome. You and Brad Jones were the best thing about that damn website, and you had ties to Brad before he was brought on anyway. This is one fan that’ll watch your stuff as long as you make it.

    • Erebus_Locke

      Uhh you know that its makeup right….? You can see it at the end of video 4, when it starts dissolving :D

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1560428345 Matt The-Vest Opdycke

      Agreed and what did happen with TGWTG? All it says on the si is that they’re no longer affiliated and stuff like that…

      • http://www.facebook.com/DinoTsar Nolan Byrrd

        I heard linkara and AngryJoe had some information on their respective sites. Google is your friend?

        • http://www.facebook.com/am.an.ass Pelle Buch Hansen

          Well. The short story is that Spoony had disagreements with people at TGWTG. Then they had a kind of “war” on twitter, and Spoony got kicked from TGWTG.

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Matt-Mather/576623488 Matt Mather

            Regardless of what happened, Doug Walker (Nostalgia Critic) did mention offhand in his most recent video that “Noah” would be at Anime Revolution, clearly expecting the viewers to know exactly who he meant even though “Spoony” is no longer an official affiliate of TGWTG.
            So maybe eventually Spoony will be back on TGWTG some day.
            In the meantime, I really, really can’t wait for the FF13 review. And maybe a XIII-2 review?
            I hope Spoony keeps the Armageedon spell in a safe place. Even if he doesn’t use it, there are plenty of villains who would…

          • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1385288959 Avery Cawley

            Is it just me, or is FF13 feel like the last review from spoony? Like all this shit is going to end with a bang, and Spoony will sacrifice him self to kill Sepheroth and save the earth. Then you can have a sceen with is REAL freinds, Like Linkra, Sage, Brad, Niles, and Oreo all greive at his grave, Rembering the good, and rembering his sacerfice. After the whole TGWtG, it seems like he might need a job. and give this whole thing up.

          • http://twitter.com/calamity_m1 calamity_m

            Why do people keep calling Miles “Niles”?

          • Turkey OnAStick

            Better question: why aren’t people calling Spoony “Frasier” and Oreo “Eddie”?

          • Atmos_Duality

            Holy shit. Referencing a GOOD sitcom.
            In an era of Only-awkward-is-funny sitcoms, and horrid Reality TV shows, I thank you for reminding me that we once had decent shows.

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Nash-Knight/740228999 Nash Knight

            lol who cares, they’re all a bunch of nobodys compared to Spoony

          • Necrovarium

            Not sure if I agree with that one, Nash. Nostalgia Critic’s viewer (notice I didn’t say fan) base is larger than Spoony’s, and Linkara’s is rather large, too, not to mention Brad Jones. Even if Noah is no longer a part of that site, I’m sure he still respects SOME of the people employed there, and he may likely still be associated with some of them. If there’s ever a chance for Spoony to return to that site, the fans are not helping by calling all is potential co-workers “nobodies”.

            Also, while Noah does have more freedom to make videos on his own, he may not be receiving the viewer-base that he once did, and this could be hurting Noah’s pocket; he’s not a rich guy, and what he’s getting may result in more, eventual issues with the server.

            There’s no reason to be cynical about that situation just because he’s not a part of their site, anymore, and yes, I am aware of the futility of telling something like that to the Spoony fan-base.

            I just hope that Noah gets what he wants, whatever that is, from all this.

    • kirk55555

      I totally agree. Your speech at the end gave me goosebumps, and the ending line was amazing. The eyes were really creeping me out. An amazing review.

      • http://twitter.com/nymphonomicon Doctor Madness

        There is a distinct “oh shit” feeling to the review where Dupre comes back to life and Spoony’s trip down memory lane intercedes.

    • jagarcia0705

      My friend… that’s a Paladin!!

  • kallikanzarid

    Awesome conclusion, well worth the wait 8)

  • TheAudientVoid

    Wow, so I’m not the only one who learned how to read from video games… no one ever believes me when I tell them.

    • http://www.facebook.com/jonny.hirst.75 Jonny Hirst

      That’s okay, I learned how to read from the backs of old VHS movie cases. Anyway, great review Spoony, you fucking gaming PALADIN, sir!

      • http://freefilesync.sourceforge.net/ Zenju

        I learned English playing Ultima 6 with a dictionary ;)

  • http://twitter.com/Das_Bass Das_Bass

    FF13 should be fun…..for us. God speed, Man.

    • http://twitter.com/DarkBee1 DarkBee

      Miles is younger than Noah, apparently he has 2 brothers (one older, one younger) and a sister.
      This review was worth the wait and all kinds of badass. I will never stop watching your vids, mr. Antwiler, even though I’m a huge fan of TGWTG; it seems you’re still on friendly terms with each other, and your content is still amazing.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anders-Stensson/613896567 Anders Stensson

    Great work Noah! I owe you a beer if you ever come to Sweden! Also, great ME3 green ending reference ;)

  • http://twitter.com/MizharaDelThul Norseman

    And THAT is a Paladin!

    Spoony, you’ve finally proven beyond a doubt that you’re unmatched in this field.

  • BrendanConcannon

    I’m pretty sure I’m not going to be the only one, but I actually guessed the 100 gold for the answer to the reward for the ridiculous gem hunting puzzle.
    Didn’t that giant enemy crab give you something like 80+ gold after you hit it like 500 times with your sword?

    • http://twitter.com/ScurvyDave Binny Rexis

      I guessed 100 right off the bat which may mean I need to play fewer RPGs.


    You had your
    childhood memories crushed because EA desided to use Origin as their new
    cash-cow, you had to put up with this bullshit game for god knows how
    long, you could give up at any moment, but no! You finished it and now
    you are ready for more, because you sir Spoony are a fucking paladin!… I realize that I went a bit too dramatic there, but I don’t care.

  • http://www.facebook.com/martin.wehrmeyer Martin Wehrmeyer

    I am kind of surprised about this review. For once I felt like his new approach (compared to Phantasmagoria or the likes) was working. There was a few things that I didn’t like in part 1-3 such as the overstated rage, but it made sense after Spoony explained us his background with the Ultima games, even in a quite serious and conveying way.

    Lately I rarely get surprised with the Spoony experiments, but this was certainly a worthy exception. I’m just speculating here, but I think that the experiment was tied close to the Final Fantasy games, starting with VIII (I remember the very early days when he uploaded on youtube). I seems to me that he thought of a nice story ark that connects the early days to the present. Although it wonders me why he implicates that the experiment ends with FF 13 I am still looking forward to it.

    Anyway, I’d love to see Spoony return to his Bayou Billy style. This review shows that todays approach can work if its done right, but that is a matter of personal preference.

    Great job for now.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Klaus-Heid/100000547916593 Klaus Heid

    Epic Badass Ending! :D

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=661037953 James Enri

    Brilliant ending.

    Top notch work Noah. Absolutely your best so far and I look forward to your future endeavors.

  • Frozt

    Great video. Not a fan of the long downtime between each video, but this was well worth the wait.

    Anyone who had their favorite series destroyed by ONE shitty game knows what this feels like. Especially a concluding part.

  • La Mancha Noctámbula

    Well done, Noah… The ending left me speechless. You know? You have a hand for scripts, Did you ever…? Nevermind.

    Keep up the good work.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sam-Delsupehe/1085714186 Sam Delsupehe

    when ever you have time for a good game you might enjoy divine divinity and the the betrail that folows its sequels

  • http://twitter.com/VaterYester Kai

    Ha! I actually guessed the reward for the lighthouse quest! What do I get?

  • http://sbkmulletman.deviantart.com/ sbkMulletMan

    Spoony’s older brother teaching him the ropes in epic gaming: THAT is a Paladin! And I salute him!

    • http://www.facebook.com/balo.timar Baló Timár

      I felt connected to it, because I have similar memories with my younger brothers. That part was really intense.

      • http://www.facebook.com/jonathan.puccetti Jonathan Puccetti

        I feel the same way, my older brother played with me / taught me about D&D and Zelda. Definitely the most emotion I have ever felt while watching a game review.

  • http://www.facebook.com/daniel.iredale.7 Daniel Iredale

    I don’t think you could have ended this review with any better of a line. I’ve been watching your reviews for a few years now, and this one by far takes the cake.

  • jagarcia0705

    Guardian: It appears that Spoony was once again victorious.
    ?: Spoony may have been victorious up till now, but none of that matters. I already cast the meteor spell, where it impacts is of no consequence, because the end result is the same.
    Guardian: You do realize that the only thing to counter the meteor spell is Spoony’s review of Final Fantasy XIII.
    ?: That’s IF he can complete it.
    Guardian: What do you mean?
    ?: Its all been a part of my plan from the beginning. His many reviews of movies, video games & even written reviews have weakened him. Especially his reviews of the Ultima & Final Fantasy series have not only weakened him physically, but spiritually & mentally as well.
    Guardian: Never the less we should not underestimate him.
    ?: I already have something planned. By time Spoony’s reviewing Final Fantasy XIII he’ll be unable to stop the meteor spell.
    Guardian: Brilliant plan, I’d better keep an eye Spoony. You never know if can actually pull this off. Goodbye…..Mr Sephiroth.

    • http://www.facebook.com/patrick.mills.771 Patrick Mills

      I would love to see him do the review, But I think that XIII gets a bad rap. Only 1/2 of the characters are annoying, which is an improvement over the last couple. ( XIII-2 is total garbage tho)

      • jagarcia0705

        I can honestly say that I never played Final Fantasy XIII & since I never played it I can’t give any opinion. What I can tell you is that the Final Fantasy series ran its course & Square Enix should just end the series. Not on a anti-climax, but on a high note that closes the story & provides resolution to a beloved RPG series.

        • doresh

          I too would like Final Fantasy to go out with a bang, but what’s with the part about “closing the story” and “providing resolution”? That would require the individual entries to actually be connected storywise, which they aren’t Oo

          • jagarcia0705

            Your right, “closing the story” & “providing resolution” fits more with a series that actually connects with the previous game. All I can say is “my bad”.

          • doresh

            Nevertheless, let’s just hope they’ll learn from their mistakes before FF15 rolls around – whenever the hell that will happen XD

  • itbegins2005

    Okay, I was really getting bummed by the dark turn this review took at the end, but… damn, that last exchange between Spoony and the Guardian was amazing.

    “You see… That’s a paladin.” Awesome.

  • MrRuse

    “That’s a paladin.” *BLAM*

  • http://twitter.com/gdoran0287 George Doran

    HELL YEAH!! awesome ending Spoony. you are a modern gaming paladin. all the crap you have to deal with between life, yourself, and the horrid games you have to play. your my dupre! make Spoonyroth pay!

  • http://www.facebook.com/anthony.bocci Tony Bocci

    Spoony, you have taken this medium to an entirely new level. Your skills as a writer, actor, comedian, videographer, and more are truly a unique blend. Keep it up. As far as you have gone already, you’ll reach heights even higher.

  • http://twitter.com/MichaelCWells Michael Wells

    Awesome review, I didn’t expect the dark turn the Review would take with the talk about the childhood but it was really well done.

    And this is why I am a Spoony fan.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Gabriela-Mizerija/100000750048199 Gabriela Mizerija

    Spoony, I love you man, but you look horribly tired here. Go and have some rest because you look really bad

  • http://filmstock.blog.pl/ Mateusz Hemmerling

    Are you wearing very good make up or are you not sleeping very well recently? I hope it’s that you looka like a zombie because of Ultima.

  • http://twitter.com/SuperNovaFox SuperNovaFox

    you know spoony im not going to lie im 15. so i don’t know as much as you or any more than these other people. but i stayed up all night waiting for this review but after watching this i feel like a total prick like my entire generation is just shit, but i have too say that i may not feel your pain or even understand it at all but you know you shouldn’t feel that this was all for nothing. because there’s one thing i learned in my short time on earth and that’s if even you love something it dies and i know what that sounds like you can call me a shithead. but its that at some point either its a game or a person, or a story its that at sometime or another everything is reborn

    and i know that’s stupid but there’s always something that comes from the death of something either its good or bad but its always something and you inspired me too write this and you shouldn’t think that all of ultima is ruined because ultima 9 is just another piece of shit that wasn’t made for fans but for the soul purpose of just making a buck. not only that i highly doubt L.B. had anything too do with this game. so you should just think that ultima 9 is some piece of shit and not even part of the series so spoony i love you man and i hope you don’t find me too be a prick and don’t take this the wrong way.

  • http://twitter.com/ScurvyDave Binny Rexis

    Possibly my new favourite episode. Thanks a lot, Spoony!

  • http://twitter.com/TheVeryUberEnd Bob Burns

    Amazing, well done Spoony.

  • http://twitter.com/n0pex carsten brandt

    Nice Pink Floyd referrence. Loved the whole review. You´re the best. :D

  • http://twitter.com/ogodhowdoitweet McMarcus


  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Timo-Takalo/503889411 Timo Takalo

    Oh wow. I genuinely feel proud to have contributed to this. On another note, now I can finally delete all those gameplay videos from my hard drive. Been hanging on to those just in case.

  • http://www.facebook.com/alex.m.marriott Alex Meow Meow Marriott

    spoony can i ask in part 3 of your ascension video around 17:20 why were your eyes so red? like are you ok ?

  • http://www.facebook.com/larslt Lars Lau Thygesen

    Cool! Spoony picked the “refusal” ending & got away with it. ;-)

  • http://www.facebook.com/DoktorOesterwinter Dok Tor Oesterwinter

    that…was really fucking good. The whole thing was intense, powerful and pretty fucking grim. I am truly, truly impressed.

  • http://www.facebook.com/louis.werner1 Louis Werner

    Without playing this game I guessed the 100 gp !!! no joke :)

  • Dat Dude

    First off spoonys makeup was creepy kudos man. Second Its great to see that the man can still step it up a notch after years of doing this. Long live the spoony one.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Tenks.Brief William Blevins

    Glad I decided to rewatch this whole retrospect before going into the ending. This is by far the best thing I have seen in a long time.

  • http://twitter.com/CheeMoonYeo Chee Moon Yeo

    The last several minutes sold it for me.

    This is the greatest episode of the Spoony Experiment.

    Hell, it might just be the greatest Internet Reviewer
    video I have ever seen.

    Not fan-gushing. I am dead serious. I’ve watched series
    like Nostalgia Critic, Phelous, Anime Abandon and am now going through the
    entire Cinema Snob series.

    But that Part 4 video, those last few minutes, are what
    really sets The Spoony Experiment apart from other reviewer websites.

    The long, long wait was goddamn worth it, and I’m glad I
    didn’t nag Spoony to hurry up with it.

    The Spoony One is the Goddamn Avatar of Internet

    Like him, love him or hate him, his videos are so much
    fun to watch.

    Mass Effect music at the end…son of a bitch, that was

    You know what, I started watching these videos expecting
    them to be a fun and comedic experience.

    Instead, it left me feeling paranoid.

    The Ultima series is one of the most iconic and important
    series in the history of gaming, a landmark that changed and defined the RPG
    genre forever.

    And look what happened to it.

    The Mass Effect 3 ending is nothing, NOTHING, compared to
    what EA has done to Ultima.

    And now, looking at other game series which I’ve grown to
    like and have become invested in for their stories such as Half-Life, Portal, Assassin’s
    Creed, Brothers In Arms, Thief, Splinter Cell, Max Payne, Star Craft and
    others, I’m starting to fear that they might be forced under the guillotine
    blade like Ultima.

    I’ve seen the Saints Trailer for Hitman: Absolution and
    now I am goddamn worried.

    The Hitman series is NOT a fucking anime!!!

    Thank you not to The Spoony One but to Noah Antwiler for
    taking us along on the journey through the entire Ultima game series so that we
    could fully understand the unforgivable betrayal that Pagan and Ascension are
    to anyone who invested anything in it.

    Just imagine it. Imagine your absolute, Number One,
    favorite game series of all time, being given the same treatment that Ultima

    Mother of God, will this butchery just stop?

    And I thought the Highlander fans were fucked over by the
    terrible sequel films.

    Fuck Electronic Arts. Even BP and Blackwater don’t match
    what they’ve done.

    I’m surprised that Bioware was able to make Mass Effect 3
    as good as it was considering who was hovering over them at the time.

    Looking forward to the Final Fantasy XIII reviews, and
    will enjoy whatever v-logs come along the way. Hope to see another v-log review
    with Miles on some recent films out in cinema.

    Brad Jones and Co. really liked the Ted film, so I wonder
    what Spoony and Miles would think of it.

    • Fixer40000

      “The Mass Effect 3 ending is nothing, NOTHING, compared to
      what EA has done to Ultima.”

      I’d argue the Mass Effect 3 ending was a different kind of bad.

      When Ultima 9 came out, you already had massive disappointment from playing Ultima 8. You saw all the bad reviews, you heard from friends how bad it was, how buggy it was and even if you bought the thing. You stopped playing and all but the most masochistic of gamers or hardcore Ultima fans dropped it and went onto other stuff.

      Ultima 9 was a painful drawn out mess from the beginning to the end but you could see the descent into madness from the very start… if you could get the thing working.

      Mass Effect 3? Was actually pretty great. Sure there was bad stuff in the game but overall all the great character moments from big stuff like the cure of the Genophage to little stuff like finding Ashley drunk off her ass on the floor, or the ‘date’ with Garrus. It had you loving the game.

      Then you slugged your way through a disappointing end battle, even though it wasn’t memorable nor a scratch on the ending fights of ME/ME2 you sat down with Anderson waiting for a dignified end to Shepard’s story.


      The whiplash of that one moment from where you were about the remember ME3 as one of the best gaming series you had ever played to OH MY GOD WHO WROTE THIS CRAP? Still has me reeling.

      and even with the extended cut, despite the good that it does do, will never fix it. The Catalyst retcons and outright contradicts everything we know about the Reapers up to that point and comes up with a ‘problem’ you have to fix which goes against all the things the game was trying to tell you about A.I. and respecting other forms of intelligence of that point.

      In bare few minutes the story of Mass Effect was torn apart and replaced with something else leaving a gaping wound full of plot holes filled with contrivance and no foundations to stand on.

      and every fan suffered it.

      • Atmos_Duality

        “I’d argue the Mass Effect 3 ending was a different kind of bad.”

        I’d argue that the problem is cut from the same cloth: It was a rush job because EA didn’t want to give the dev team more time to work out a proper ending.

        Just as they always do when they set out to ruin one of their subsidiaries.

        Ultima 9 is the same, being rushed out in an incredibly short time. Only instead of the result being a few minutes that contradicts the rest of the series, it’s an ENTIRE GAME.

        The problem with Mass Effect 3′s ending, is that it’s a total copout.
        It’s stupid and lazy, but it’s the only really heinous part of ME3 (well, that and the huge number of twat-waffles in the online multiplayer).

        Ultima 9 starts stupid and proceeds to contradict virtually every single thing it references from the other games.

  • Matsern

    Probably your best review ever, Noah. Thats saying something. Keep the reviews personal!

    Glory to the Spoony Experiment!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Stephan-Scholz/100001809074793 Stephan Scholz

    Spoony….this…this review.
    This was a work of beauty. This was so great and so well made. It was scary, entertaining and funny. And the end…oh shit, the end was brilliant. Sir, you’re great.

  • Cthulhu07

    Single-handedly the greatest review ever…

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=690590820 Steve-o Anders

    Great stuff Spoony. I’ve been waiting for you to wrap this up and it was supremely worth it. I hated the pants off Ultima IX. It was a scummy, broken, cess-pit of a “game” that’s only surviving memory should be your review of it. Keep up the good work!

  • http://twitter.com/Mirandel Kamila

    Woha, I really started to worry about You, when I saw this make up. You looked really well… disturbingly. This was grate retrospective, which made me to start playing old school cRPG (well, older-school, I mean- older than Baldur’s Gate which was my first cRPG game).
    Chapeaux bas, Spoony! Trully, you are Goddamn Avatar!

  • http://www.facebook.com/jonny.hobby.3 Jonny Hobby

    Spoony AKA Noah,
    I have watched your reviews and read your blogs back near to the damn beginning, sat through the great videos, sat through those that didn’t interest me in the least, ignored your Wrestle Wrestle, and scoffed at a few things you’ve said. Today, at around 6:00 am EST, I checked my Facebook and there it was. The Finale. I shrugged thinking I could just go to bed and watch it later and I am glad I changed my mind. I sat back turned on part 1 to Ultima 9 and laughed. Then part 2 and laughed. Then 3… and the laughing stopped. Then 4 and my mouth hit the floor my eyes welled up at the story of your memory. That’s when the line hit me. That epic ending to a great review that literally woke my fiance up when I screamed ‘FFfffffffffffffffffffUCK YEAH!’
    You sir are an amazing writer and a story teller that topples thousands of other reviewers/critics. That whole review had me from happy to sad and everything in between. Well, mainly writing this to say.

    Welcome back you amazing son of a bitch. Good to see we got Our Spoony back.

    Admirer (no homo) and a fan,

  • http://www.facebook.com/malice936 Malcomb Bell

    o.o Holy fuck… Also what the hell was with the disco statues did the programmers get bored and do some acid while they were making those o.0

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Tor-Nordmark/1278870363 Tor Nordmark

    I personally think the codex works like the elder scrolls
    It changes depending on what you want/need/have to see and foretells a prophecy.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Stephen-Mc-Devitt/100002626261475 Stephen Mc Devitt

    Lightning Farron better shoot herself if only to escape your wrath.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Grzegorz-Wojtczyk/100000046280578 Grzegorz Wojtczyk

    Propably a lot of you guys noticed that but the Guardian was trying to turn Spoony into Final Fantasy antagonist. Now that is going to be an ultimate irony if Final Fantasy 13 review will lead to it.

  • http://twitter.com/SwedishBallsack Jonathan Andersson

    Was the ending a play on Mass Effect 3′s endings with the whole “you can either destroy or join me” thing? I started to notice when the Mass Effect music came up. Before the Leaving Earth part, that is.

    It was well done in general. Your reaction and feelings are pretty much how I felt about the original ME3 endings. Now that they have somewhat fixed it, I don’t pay that much attention anymore.

    Shame to see a series as vast in both lore and intelligent thoughts as Ultima being brought down to appeal to drooling retards with severely short attention spans, though. Damn EA.

  • http://twitter.com/Solin_Outlander Jay Logan

    The minutes of utter silence, followed by you revealing your memories of playing U3 with your older brother… to me, that said more than the rest of the Ultima 9 review put together. It was also the most vulnerable I think we’ve ever seen you. And when you threw the boxes and books for the entire Ultima series, I can’t help but wonder whether that was even scripted, or whether you just couldn’t hold yourself back any more, with how bad Ultima 9 tainted your memories.

    Keep up the Experiment. Looking forward to seeing you tackle Final Fantasy XIII.

  • http://twitter.com/thrdthu Chance Thulin

    That was, without a shadow of a doubt, one of the best reviews not only from you Spoony, but from any reviewer period. It had a lot of emotional resonance to it that carried so much weight, esepcially when you see where Ultima was and where it ended up. This has fired me up to begin working on my own review content and having my own fun, creatively.

    God bless you Spoony One

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Thiago-Mascherpe-Spinetti/100001475615016 Thiago Mascherpe Spinetti

    What a epic conclusion man!!!
    very good job!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1309218787 Teppo Luoma

    Oh, wow. Brilliant review. Childhood memories was best moment so far in any video that Spoony has made.

  • http://www.facebook.com/njmartinelli Nicholas Joseph Martinelli

    That ending scene should win you the next Webby, Mashable, and everything up to and including an oscar.

  • http://twitter.com/SPBreit SebastianPBreit

    Awesome. Great end to a great review series, and all the better because of the personal note it had. And, as pretty much everybody else has already said: Best. Line. Ever!

  • Solstafir

    Sad to see the Ultima series end. Definitely some of your best work you put out there.
    Though after the ending I’m psyched for what’s to come.

  • http://twitter.com/slyngel83 Patrik

    Great work spoony very nice.

  • PeaTearGryfin

    Great review as always Spoony. I gotta say, I almost punched my computer screen when Dupre came back. THAT to me is the greatest insult this game throws at Ultima fans. Bringing back a character whose noble sacrifice should go down in history as one of the greatest acts of selflessness of all time. Glad to see that the torture brought on by this game is finally over.

  • http://www.facebook.com/ChusterMerino Chuster M. Merino

    Damn… Spoony its beat up in this review. Poor guy :(

  • http://www.facebook.com/jorgeelias.nievesgoyo Jorge Elias Nieves Goyo

    i love you man, you now, no homo

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Chris-Hughes/1737741486 Chris Hughes


  • Michos

    Ah, so this is now DLC ending looks like! Much better than the original, I say! Trurly wonderful!

  • Mo0rbid

    Spoony you’re the best content creator on all of the intertubes

  • http://twitter.com/beyond_ff Wayne Drake

    Great work, Spoony. I love you were able to weave both your childhood memories and current life situation into this review. Man, I haven’t even *played* the Ultima series and I was feeling the pain!

  • http://www.facebook.com/joshua.palmer.900 Joshua Palmer

    Amazing job Spoony. Just…amazing.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Kastlo Michele Castellani

    My god Spoony, you just know how to make people happy. I was like rewatching all of your videos while waiting for the finale and this is like the best gift ever. Awesome.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Lawrence-Vincent/100000153701576 Lawrence Vincent

    Not only did we get the greatest review ever. But I think we just got the original counter monkey.

  • MechaVelma

    There is a reason for why things burn, for betrayal and memories are lost.

    Its so we can learn how to improve upon them when we make better memories and find greater enjoyment in life. It is the wisdom we learn that becomes the hope for the next time and the people who come after.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=611579271 Matt Browning

      But you know, at this very moment, Britania burns!

      Sorry, sorry! I know, bad man, taking a perfectly meaningful and decent post and turning it into a depraved and silly reference! Insert something deep and witty here.

  • http://twitter.com/NowOnAFM Ahmed Mosly

    I came here expecting to laugh, but I was just as shocked as you by the amount of contradictions in Ultima 9. Very painful to watch. Never played the series mind you, but your retrospective really put people like me in your shoes. If I was a fan, I’d be pissed. Now I know in the show you’re playing a character that amplifies your true emotions to a million, but you talking about your childhood was very genuine and reminds me of myself. I learned to read and expanded my interest by playing Super Mario RPG first. So props for getting that out of the way. Those final minutes had some really good scenes and flashes. Very different from the comedy you typically do.

  • Kris Campbell

    I actually guessed the prize right, right down to the exact number of gold pieces.

  • Gabriel Croath

    I hate to be the party-pooper but… I was a little disappointed. I mean, sure, the ending was badass beyond measure, but it just wasn’t what I come here for. I came here to be entertained, to laugh at a terrible game as Noah dissected it, and instead I was just depressed. The whole review was just too dark, and the anecdote at the middle (after Dupre returns) felt just really uncomfortable… -.-

  • Nassadii Fallenheart

    I’ve always wondered why my own dad had given up on games, looking my enjoyment of the Mass Effect series with contempt. Now that my own rage with the ending of 3 finally subsiding after months of flying into anger over the slightest mention of EA and this. You, Spoony, made me see why he still rages at EA as well.

    I tip my hat to you for the rest of the betrayed.

  • xris wolff

    Awesome stuff man, I love how you foreshadow your next game reviews at the end xD. FFXIII? Thank you god for dismantling this piece of shit.. but what of X-2? I guess only time will tell. Great affects too, you really upped your game in this Finale. I feel as if you could create a decent horror story. Keep it up!

  • Nintony58

    I take back every bad thing I ever thought about you. You are so fucking awesome!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Rowan-Anderson/691192822 Rowan Anderson

    Wonderful, from beginning to end! This review series has been excellent and has not only made me laugh my arse off but cry a bit too. Seriously, when you told the story about you and your brother playing Ultima 3 I got a bit emotional, mainly because it was really heartfelt and it reminded me of playing games with my dad when I was that age too.

    I’ll admit got a bit worried half way through as you started with the eye make up :) I seriously thought this game was either exhausting you or sucking the life out of you for a bit there!

    This was a fantastically epic ending too and has got me very hyped for FFXIII, can’t wait to see the awesome conclusion (and get some closure myself on a game I also hated. Bloody FFXIII) Keep rocking Spoony, we’re all behind you :D

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003407262296 Lorien van Arden

    Another brilliant ending to a series. It shows how deeply you got me hooked when I got a little shocked that you might cast the spell in the end – ending all life and so on. Never got that from a movie or review before… kudos. Your reaction to dupres ressurection and the build up to it was amazing and heartfelt.

  • goodguya

    Wowza. This was a journey and then some. I noticed right away that your eyes looked a little fucked up, and the slow degeneration was just marvelous. I really felt right with you personally through your expressions, and while the quiet moment went on a bit long, the pay off was worth it. Unadulterated rage coupled with some of the most suspenseful foreshadowing I’ve ever seen in a review.

    It worries me though that the Experiment may in fact end once FF13 is done. You’ve conquered the top echelon on games and movies… But what then? This will be hard to top if you’re going to try it until the end. Don’t work yourself out Spoony, even though I appreciate if you seek your dreams elsewhere. I will follow you to the end.

  • Carteeg_Struve

    During the Guardian’s rant at the end, it started falling into cliche territory. Both my wife and I were waiting for him to even slip in the line “and rule as father and son.”

    And then came Spoony’s closing lines.

    Holy fuck. That was epic.

    (BTW, did that anti-magic gun come from Insano due to Linkara’s interrogation of him about his magic gun not working?)

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Vaughan-MacDonald/100000473507885 Vaughan MacDonald

    Whoa…. Trippy….

  • http://www.facebook.com/adam.murray.77398 Adam Murray

    oh my god, spoony looks awful. If I ever see the dude, he needs a hug.

  • Carteeg_Struve

    Re: 100 coins.

    Well, at least it wasn’t as stupid as a bridge.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003205540595 Rowan J Coleman

    Truly The Spoony Experiment is a success! That is without a doubt in my mind the greatest, funniest and yet heart breaking video I’ve ever seen on the internet. I think that even beat James Rolfe’s Dragon in my Dreams for honesty and passion. Noah Antwiler, even though I may not always agree with your opinion I’m glad to know that you exist on this planet. You may not have cured cancer or written great music, but by god…you are a great human being!

    I gotta go because I have a lump in my throat.

  • Dan Schuett

    Fucking EPIC. This is why I don’t mind waiting for reviews from Spoony, because the man delivers. This was an amazing review and the ending was just pure awesome. Can’t wait to see what’s next.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/George-Rosenbaum/100001387887487 George Rosenbaum

    If you look at Noah’s face, you can see that his eyes are red, with visible red marks that stream down his cheeks.

    Dude, have you been crying, or clawing at your face?

    • Renaissance_nerd

      there are plenty of ways to get your eyes red and puffy, eye drops ect.

  • IHeart28

    Holy. Fucking. Shit
    Ladies and gentlemen, what else can you say? This finale is one of the best if not THE best spoony episode you’ve ever have seen! Everything was just brilliant! I especially loved the ending where the guardian and such told of “inevitability” and showed us so much creepy stuff…. Oh and spoony’s face? Something tells me that’s some sort of symbolism.
    Anyway “That’s a paladin” was without a doubt so awesome that even chuck norris couldn’t pull it off and do it better. Wonderful work spoony! Very much worth the wait!

    • http://twitter.com/RetardTmin Teo Muffin

      Chuck Norris is slowly clapping when he hears “That’s a paladin”.

      • IHeart28

        Indeed…. Along with Clint eastwood

  • http://www.facebook.com/adam.murray.77398 Adam Murray

    oh man, way to tie in final fantasy with ultima. THe Guardian and Sephiroth, two villians who had major potential for good story telling, but didnt work out…but damn we fans cant help but love them…..awsome

  • http://twitter.com/CesarBowie cé mont

    The last bits were all so heartfelt. I’m sad this is all over now.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Stephen-Martin/1596700226 Stephen Martin

    I love the Sith statement. Every time someone says that I point out that the group saying it demands the genocide of the Sith no matter the circumstances because people who disagree with them are evil and must be killed. Except when they’re mind controlled like that poor pharmacist who was trying to sell Obi-Wan some aspirin so he wouldn’t get a hangover in episode one.

  • http://www.facebook.com/beqaxitiri Beqa Khitiri

    Today, just before I got home, I received news that I passed a test in my university that I’ve been working for during the entire last year, a test, that is almost crucial in determining my future and I passed it with flying colors :) I decided to celebrate with a Spoony review… And, I swear upon everything one might hold holy, this video is definitely still the best thing that happened to me today :)

    Love you, man :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/Kastlo Michele Castellani

    That was intense. I mean, really. The part when you throw your Ultima stuff was really…Touching, if we can say so.
    Also I loved the real-life connection with the video. And since you’ve been ALWAYS awesome, I’d rather stick with you than with the Channel Awesome fans.
    Cheers Spoony, hope you will get some satisfaction from every awesome thing you do

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Oliver-Meyer/1288596186 Oliver Meyer

    Thx for the awesome review, Spoony. Among other things, it shows how effective silent segments can be in a review such as this. This and your memories tied to the Ultima series gave the whole series of reviews sincerity and honesty, and I truly appreciate that.

    BTW, folks, take a lucky guess which game is gonna be on GOG in a few weeks (if they don’t re-schedule the release again >_>).

  • http://twitter.com/1000DEADANIMALS GRIEVER

    Love the character arc here—despairing over a beloved series gone sour; fond, casual reminiscing of softer days gone by; swinging through the depths of nihilism; and finally rejecting the Guardian’s attempted appeal to that nihilism and instead accepting the imperfection of life… and of course being a badass til the end.
    The red marks on your face were a little eyebrow-raising, though; it looked like you had been crying and then raked your cheeks with your nails, but hey—maybe that’s what you were going for, trying to subtly portray how hair-pulling this game was. Good job, Spoony.

  • http://www.facebook.com/rebecca.l.carey.9 Rebecca Lyndsay Carey

    amazing and awesome i loved the part where you talk about your childhood spoony also the thats a palidin line was epic

  • Crippen

    This was well-executed, but overwrought. I think that you’re at your best when you’re playing a more sarcastic, flippant reviewer who’s stunned and amused at just how bad these games are rather than trying to work with the heavy stuff.

    When I watch these videos, I want to laugh along with you at how bad the old games were, and these extended dramatic sequences interposed in a review bereft of joy or lightheartedness (and yes, I know that’s the point.) took me away from that. The drama has become toxic to the experience, although I can understand why you’d feel the need to use that particular tool given what you’ve revealed of your history with this series.

    All that having been said, it’s good to see some fresh material again.

  • http://www.facebook.com/WesleyMan3 Wesley Jebe

    That was amazing.

  • http://twitter.com/SanJ922 Sanjay Dharawat

    Holy shit…that was the most amazing review I have ever seen!!!! Awesome to see that you used the ConBravo clip (and even more awesome that I could see myself in it)! It’s quality work like this that make your reviews well worth waiting for!! Keep up the stunning work!! I salute you sir!!!

    • Renaissance_nerd

      i was wondering why he asked us all to throw stuff at him, now i know.

  • http://profiles.google.com/danielbeaver Daniel Beaver

    Thank you, Spoony. The Ultima Retrospective as a whole is probably the greatest video game review of all time.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1638499827 Steve Riley

    That… was the most epic thing I’ve seen in my life. This is destined for great things. You have stared pure hatred in the face, and kicked it in the balls and spit in its face.

  • http://twitter.com/AioniosOneirus KC

    Part four’s ending was just… wow. You just sitting there looking at really the foundation of who you are and contemplating the path you took for it to only end up as being beyond disappointing. In a way, and no offense, you can look at the Ultima series like your life and how 9 is the current status, where you aren’t entirely happy and you’re life isn’t where you want it to be. The raw emotion was just brilliant. I hope to see more amazing reviews from you and maybe more strolls down memory lane and I also hope that your life starts going uphill and getting better. I know that you haven’t had it good lately with the bipolar diagnosis and that situation with TGWTG. But know that you have many fans who are going to stick with you. *slow applause*

  • Malidictus

    “That’s a Paladin.” *bang* *roll credits*

    Amazing. Simply amazing. That ending was worth everything that came before it, and I honestly can’t say I’d have had it any other way. This ending, to me, is superior to any loud, screaming final battle, including the over-booked ones for Final Fantasy X and X-2. Those were all funnier, sure, but this one was the most powerful of them all. It actually makes me jealous because honestly wouldn’t have called that.

    In a recent interview, Spoony mentioned doing a review for Final Fantasy XIII and XIII-2, which I assume is what Sephiroth is building up to. If those are anything like the Ultima reviews, then I cannot wait.

  • http://www.facebook.com/mark.escobar.14 Mark Escobar

    I love it
    Thanks for all your hard work

  • http://www.facebook.com/rjbates Robert Jeffery M Bates

    HA! A mass effect choice!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Eli-Gionet/634762106 Eli Gionet

    Simply a spectacular ending.
    The story about you and you brother was very touching, and the feeling of why you felt so let down and betrayed by this franchise is made so much more understandable.
    To many of us, especially you, its not just a game, or a movie, a TV show, or a book. It’s something that means so much more.
    Its not that we have invested time and money into something, we’ve invested part of our life into it.
    Keep making reviews Spoony, we’ll always watch them, with great anticipation and appreciation.

  • Randall Hellmer

    Oh man…that was intense. Near the end, when things suddenly went quiet, I was laughing. As time went on, I was still laughing, but I started to feel really bad about it. It’s really something when a scene can make you laugh out loud, and make you think at the same time.

    You were right, though, about the need to see all the other games in the series first. It was entertaining, sure, but more, it made me want to go out and play these games because they just sounded that good. To see how they let it end leaves me pissed off, but it makes me appreciate the other games even more.

    This was really cool. Thanks for sharing.

    Also, because I just have to say it, that ending was absolutely perfect. :P

  • http://twitter.com/ElZee3 Liza J

    You’ve become one hell of an actor.

  • http://www.facebook.com/morgan.cuell Morgan Cuell

    Spoony, as much as I like you, and as much as I really liked this entire review and retrospective, the only think I could look at in these final parts were your eyes. I know you were acting (albeit the raging was probably justified) and I know it was all makeup, but those are the eyes of a broken man. The eyes of someone who has seen the almighty fall to a place that they never expected. I’m only 19, I haven’t experienced everything that you have, but I feel for you. We all do. I look forward to your review of FFXIII, and everything else you might be planning, but right now, just from those eyes alone, I have to salute what you’re doing and give you a much deserved hug.

    • peterblue11

      agreed. hope u r ok. please consider consulting your doctor (if you are not in contact with him already). all the best.

    • http://www.facebook.com/rey.barrera.313 Rey Barrera

      I agree with you 1000% about his eyes. I’ve seen them in the mirror during my darkest days. And as much as I enjoyed the review, I was depressed at the time and I started to cry when he talked about gaming with his brother. The Final Fantasy VIII review made me a fan of Spoony, but this review made me a fan of Noah. If he was acting… BRAVO… Give this man an award…

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Konstantin-Akhmetov/100000303416185 Konstantin Akhmetov

    “Who the fuck builds a fortress inside an active volcano?”

    Hm… How about every one of the madmen who play Dwarf Fortress? :D Lava is !!FUN!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Daniel-Williams/683533109 Daniel Williams

    “Well my friend. That’s a Paladin!”

    Best finishing line EVER!!! Well done Spoony. You braved the evil of Ultima IX and you’ll be stronger for it now that it’s evil. Also look on the bright side, it can’t get any worse. Even FF13 and its awfulness can’t compare to this heap of stuff I cannot think of enough words accurately describe how bad it is game. Bravo.

    Question. Was the use of the Mass Effect 3 Soundtrack and the end an intentional nod to another shit on the fans, kick in the balls ending to a beloved franchise? If so I applaud you for it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Stephen-Martin/1596700226 Stephen Martin

    And THAT is why I will keep coming back. Your reviews are like an epic struggle. You plunge yourself into hell and then finish the job in epic style. That is a one-liner there. We love to see your hell but only because it makes you stronger.

  • http://twitter.com/zodd88 Guido Palombi

    *Willow’s voice* ”You ARE great !”

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Eli-Gionet/634762106 Eli Gionet

    BTW, where on earth did you get that PKD blaster?!

  • http://www.facebook.com/callista.rowlett Callista Rowlett

    That… was… amazing. I sincerely hope you find a way to make the Ultima Review Series a DVD. I’ll be first in line to buy it. OMG, I LOVED THIS! I think this really is my favorite series of reviews I’ve ever seen. Great job, Spoony. Thanks for putting all that effort and hard work into it!

  • http://www.facebook.com/Zandrous Daniel Powers

    That was awsome man. Glad to see the end of the long journey. Really liked the way you put in the personal experience in there to quantify the level of decent the games sunk to over time. The hint of dark undertones and the light hearted joking intermingled well. Definatly worth the wait and the time through the series. Keep up the good work man and looking forward to the FF13 review and the future vids to come.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Dmitry-Didenko/100003822401823 Dmitry Didenko

    Lol, I called the part about reward for lighthouses quest. My first thought was “100 золотых монет” and I was right.
    And oh my god, this is a train wreck even with no other games as it’s predecessor.
    Nice make-up, by the way. And great fucking videos. The greatest parody on Mass Effect 3 ending. Really well done, I felt your pain.
    And being a Star Wars fan, I still love them more then anything even as fucked up as they are. Good bits still appear now and then. Dont count them as something that was ruined.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Lee-Roberts/1343822522 Lee Roberts

    This was ABSOLUTELY amazing. Even my girlfriend who has never watched any other video of yours, loved this. Excellent work Noah. You’re still awesome.

  • http://www.facebook.com/bogster13 Billy Olsson

    Nailed it, 100 gold pieces

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cody-Ward/100001744038901 Cody Ward

    Great review, Spoony. And I gotta say, I feel for ya. The whole betrayal of beloved franchises seems to be a universal thread in the entertainment industry. I can appreciate wanting to reinvent yourself like Square has done with each FF game, but so many times they get so caught up in reinventing that they lose what they had built up. Case in point, Final Fantasy 13. At least 12 was trying to go back to the fantasy setting that made FF what it was, even if it did kind of flop.

    On a serious note, though, I think I can safely speak for the vast majority of this community that you don’t have anything to fear from us ‘turning’ on you.

  • http://twitter.com/Shardok Shardok Erlandsen

    Fuck my life.

  • http://twitter.com/Nanani72 成侘理


    That’s a paladin indeed.

    I grew up with Ultima too, though I think I’m a bit younger than you and so started with 6.
    This whole series has been a delight and so, so true.

    I gave up on U9 at the first mention of Dupré’s ashes.

    For finishing this, you deserve rewards and accolades.

    Thank you.

  • http://twitter.com/McphuckCocker PMS-Gaming2020


  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Konstantin-Akhmetov/100000303416185 Konstantin Akhmetov


    Um… yeah, that’s how you do a Renegade Interrupt.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kenneth-Dunlop/600725541 Kenneth Dunlop

    I actually guessed 100 gold pieces before Spoony said it! I tried to think of the crappiest reward that wasn’t just nothing, and it was 100 gold pieces!

  • http://www.facebook.com/doug.byrd.94 Doug Byrd

    Hah!! I guessed 100 gold pieces and was right XD

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1271696023 Adrian Burt

    So Spoony has to choose a blue ending, a red ending, or a green ending?

    Wait why does that sound familiar?

  • http://www.facebook.com/andrew.daubenspeck Andrew Daubenspeck

    I haven’t read every comment, but the phrasing of some of the lines at the end make it sound like the “Experiment” is ending soon. Did anyone else catch that. I started watching Spoony’s Ultima Retrospective while going through a very difficult time in college. I thought they were fascinating and very entertaining. I then proceded to descend upon his video archives between classes. I have seen almost all of Spoony’s videos. His videos are a comfort to me. Watching them is like visiting an old friend at this point. I would be devastated if it ended now, but I realize it has to end eventually. Until we reach that point, thank you, Spoony. This video was amazing, and even touching when you were talking about your brother. Thank you for all your work through the years, and here’s to the videos to come.

  • http://www.saisasylum.com/ Sai

    Man, I hate to say this but… you’re an entertainer. You should… entertain. This review started out so strong, but there was so many lame sketches and cut-away jokes, wasting time with multiple Benny Hill gags, and then interrupting everything for a 6 minute Vlog. This could have easily been in just two parts, the script could stand to really have been tightened up. This was just… weak. I’m not even trying to be contrarian here, this is my honest opinion. I’m hoping the FF13 review will be funnier.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001352029808 Dominic Ethan Lies

    Dude… the Mass Effect references were AMAZING! You Spoony have now earned my respect. Till the end of my days. This is the how Mass Effect should have ended. Great reviews. Great story arch. TGWTG lost a very valuable asset. Good luck in your future endeavors.

  • Evan Strozniak

    Great review Spoony been waiting for this for awhile now. I’m a huge fan and in my opinion this is probably one of your best reviews Ever Funny and emotional from begging to end. Interesting storyline can’t wait to see what comes next keep up the awesome work man
    Long live TheSpoonyOne!

  • http://www.facebook.com/EnigamisSpirit Travis Alexander Carlson

    To be honest, this is one of your best reviews, mainly because of how much heart you put into it. Everything you have done on this site is amazing, i was getting sad watching you crumble a little bit with each of these videos. I Felt like i was slowly loosing a friend to darkness, but your still there i can see you, keep up the great work, because i will keep watching.

  • Carteeg_Struve

    I wonder how many new Paladins will be appearing in D&D and Pathfinder games during the upcoming weeks across the world just because of that closing.

  • http://www.facebook.com/stauken.hausen Stauken Hausen


  • http://twitter.com/nikoharr OniBadger

    Great now I’m depressed and wrought with memories of the Mass Effect 3 ending… those colored explosion… (If you didn’t notice that or the music, go back and watch the end again) Seriously though Spoony, you truly are the best reviewer in existence. TGWTG stands no chance against the inevitable Clone Army of the Unstoppable SpoonyOne.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jacen-Chen/532265634 Jacen Chen

    That story of childhood with Ultima. The bonds between brothers. That was heartwarming.

    I don’t know if all this is a parody of the life of Spoony or deep down, it’s the real thing, but fight on. Your fans will stick by you because you are awesome

  • http://twitter.com/C_Sanguis Oskar B. Hjelm

    If this does not give you another reward, the world has truly gone mad. Now after that epic conclusion, I am going to need a smoke.
    Keep up the good work and never say die.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Felipe-Aguena/100002866184237 Felipe Aguena

    Wow awesome, just awesome…just don’t you yourself become betrayal Spoony that is something I would not be able to take! Remember to avoid the dark George Lucas side of the force

  • Atmos_Duality

    Huh. Nice gun.
    Looked exactly like the Bear Killer from E.Y.E. Divine Cybermancy, so I know that it must be a reference to something else.

    As far as a retrospective goes, yeah. Ultima 9 is everything I thought it would be. It’s an EA train wreck.

    In a baffling display of ridiculous game design, the fools who made the conclusion to the series assumed that the people playing it would have *NO PRIOR EXPERIENCE* with Ultima. And therein lies the source of so much Betrayal.
    EA was literally banking on this game picking up more NEW FANS than old…and that is the true horror: when the needs of business completely overtake the needs for creative freedom.

    Knowing that, for long-time fans, Ultima 9 is “Ultima-sploitation”.

    Nice parody of the Mass Effect 3 ending. And that’s all the commentary I’m going to make on ME3 before some asshole inevitably dredges up that dead horse and argues it uselessly.

    I’m not sure that tearing Final Fantasy 13 apart is going to have quite the same weight, barring a departure from doing videos entirely (I recall TSE almost actually ending back at the end of the FF8 review), but I am hoping it will be hilarious either way.

    See you in about 8-10 months.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Dartannian-Panthereo/100003056973845 Dartannian Panthereo

    Is it just my strange way of looking at things, or does Spoony’s face look sicklier the further he gets into this review? I dig subtle visual queues like this!

    Also: “That’s a paladin.” For something that was really turning dark, that was the most triumphant ending ever!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cart-Man/100002326540155 Cart Man

    Wow,that had to be the best of the internet game reviews to date,mainly because you took something so personal to you,threw in your ongoing real life issues and then knocked us the fuck out with that climax.Well done mate.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1528258562 Michał Sulkowski

    What is the name of the song during the credits?

    • Renaissance_nerd

      stabbing westward – thing i hate

  • http://twitter.com/JamaiconBacn Xander Magne

    Wow, that was great.
    It wasn’t extremely funny, but it was damn entertaining. I think you finally got rid of Rolfeitis, a condition where a critic has an amazingly good streak of videos, but then the quality starts to drop down more and more until they pull themselves out of the slump(His saving piece was the World Champions video). To me, after fighter movie month, that quality really dropped down. You’ve slowly been getting better. I do hope that the FF13 review will be a lot better than the X-2 one. the FF7/FFX ones seemed to be a lot better.

    Now you have to do a retrospective on Wing Commander sucker! *Smack* Ow, I didn’t mean it I kid, I kid.

    Note: If I had to give one reason why I thought the quality dropped, it would be that either the jokes keep on going to long, or it seems you’re over-explaining things. Now, in the Ultima 9 review, I understand why you need to do this, but it seemed to drag things down in other reviews.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Oliver-Meyer/1288596186 Oliver Meyer

      Well, he already did the worst the WC series had to offer anyway (the movie and The Darkening), so it might even be kinda therapeutic to do a series where most of the games are genuinely good, including Prophecy. ;)

  • Richard Vanderhoof

    Very Fucking Awesome! I also loved the Alice Cooper looking make-up.

  • http://www.facebook.com/nick.miller.90281 Nick Miller

    I love the little magic gun linkara reference near the end xD This… this was a glorious review…

  • draxo

    This was amazing. One of your greatest works.. I was hooked from beginning to end, and I know I am going to watch it again. Kudos! (also, that gun is AWESOME)

  • http://www.facebook.com/darby.bryandye Darby Bryan-Dye

    Awesome ending. I loved the anti-magic gun. At first it looked like the .233 pistol from the fallout series, then I realized why. That’s a replica of the blade runner “2019 Detective special” right? Excellent choice, easily one of the most stylish hand gun designs out there.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Patrick-Dunn/147900507 Patrick Dunn

    Like the comments. But Spoony (if you actually read this) you look terrible. All of that shit welled up inside you is spilling out man (take it from someone who…kinda knows, not the same but been down those routes). Really enjoyed the review though. You got me interested in studying the Ultima series and I even read the original script to Ultima 9…which made a Hell of a lot more sense then the garbage that EA forced down our throuts. I know Richard Garriet (excuse the bad spelling) isn’t compeletly devoid of blame, it’s his greedy fault to, but playing enough shit by EA and experiencing the bull shit decisions they force developers to do (I still haven’t gotten over Mass Effect 3′s original ending and multiplayer bullshit) to know that most of this crap is their fault. …moving on. Was interesting to hear your past a bit, it sounded nice…granted I am the eldest brother and I was an ass hole so…that sounded better than mine (I tend to block out my childhood). But I did want to say that I was one of those kids reading Tolken at an early age The Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings are some of the first books I ever remember reading. But damn the Ultima reviews are finally done and I honestly don’t think I could have gotten through Ultima 9. Which leads me to my next subject…DON’T DO FINAL FANTASY XIII!
    I am a long time Final Fantasy fan, gone through them all (except 11 which was for practical finacial reasons) and Final Fantasy XIII was like Ultima 9 for me. I still have to get around to finishing it, but I keep finding reasons not to as everytime I do, IT SERIOUSLY PISSES ME OFF! I have my issues with others (VIII, XII, and III for example) but none of them made me as FURIOUS as Final Fantasy XIII did. And the gall that Square Enix wanted to make a triology out of it with Final Fantasy XIII-2 (which in my opinion may be worse or on par) is nothing but bullshit. So that comment about seeing everything you love just get ripped away from you or get utterly ruined, yeah…I know feeling. So I beg you please, please, please don’t do it. For your sanity (or what’s left of it) don’t do it. Well that is all I have to say on the subject. Hope things get better. Hope Ireland was fun (it was for me when I went). If you want to corrispond about life or whatever (I doubt you will as I am just some random fan who only comments once in a blue moon, lol). You may know where to find me…on my comment. Just like to let you know there is someone who will listen…if it is necessary. Whatever. Good luck with life Spoony.

    • Renaissance_nerd

      im pretty sure the “evil look” with the bags under the eyes and the emo lines were makeup, you notice in his vlogs (which were shot after ultima 9 3 and 4 footage.) and he doesn’t look ragged/weary at all. so relax Spoony is fine

  • http://www.facebook.com/emily.fisher.395891 Emily Zoe

    Often times when I think of my favorite AVGN reviews they aren’t the flashy ones, they are the ones where James reviewed a game that meant a lot to him as a kid. When I started watching Spoony some years ago I enjoyed the same feeling. I don’t really care about a random movie that someone just watched and wants to talk about. For me I think when someone cares about what they are talking about then I actually feel passion to watch and enjoy. Spoony does this better than any other I’ve seen and does it with such commitment. So much so that it was painful to watch this and at the same time a joy to be entertained. I think we all have childhood memories that get stamped on overtime. Of course in the end nothing can really destroy the fun we had, only taint it slightly. I don’t know if you will notice this comment, but I would like to thank you Spoony for allowing us to see you go over your past. You put so much of your own soul in so many of your videos. Even if this was the last one you ever made, I wouldn’t be upset. Because I know you have done amazing things. But I look forward to seeing more! =]

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002255363856 Leo Meier

    looking forward to ff13. how bad can it be compared to ffx/x2

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1498915683 Andrew Boyce

    Amazing. Pretty amazing. Noah, after all the shit thats happened to you, after all you have been through, I am so glad to see you are still around kicking ass with awesome videos and fun times. I look forward to your new stuff and to rewatch the old stuff. You are definitely the turning point in my life since I discovered you in my freshman year in high school and a senior now. You are the man Spoony. The Paladin.

  • CheezeFox

    Just want to see how many people get this reference:

    Spoony, it seems that the outcome of the Final Experiment… has now been placed… in YOUR hands!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Matt-Flohre/538885031 Matt Flohre

    Was the gun he was using at the end supposed to be That Gun from the Fallout series? Just curious because it looks just like it.

    • http://www.facebook.com/tolgyfaszegi.istvan Tölgyfaszegi István

      I suspect is it… on twitter he said it uses .223 bullets so it’s highly possible

    • http://twitter.com/Das_Bass Das_Bass

      I knew I was not the only one thinking that, but That Gun is based off the gun from Blade Runner, and I think Spoony is a fan of that movie ( though he has talked about his likeness for fallout and did a livestream of NV.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jfrapart Joel Frapart

    Spoony, this review sucked. I really wanted to like this review, but it was just the most unrelentingly negative review I’ve ever seen. It’s more negative than Linkara’s review of One More Day.

    And I get that that’s the point. I get that this game is just so bad that you can’t even make jokes about it and that all it makes you feel is anger and depression, but here’s a big surprise, I don’t watch these videos to get depressed. The other videos in the Ultima Retrospective have been great, full of passion and humor, but Ulitima 9? It’s just a meticulous list of every little thing that is wrong with the game culminating in a genuinely heartfelt reminiscence of what these games meant to you which would have been really good if it didn’t just exist so you could then throw them all aside and claim that Ultima 9 just completely ruined them all. The fact that you really went so genuine at the end really made me believe that shitty moral you were peddling, to the point where I think that you honestly should have just destroyed the world if you really believed that.

    So now your gonna do Final Fantasy again. Well you know what I would really like to see you do at this point? A Reb Brown movie. A bad FMV game from the 90′s that you can riff on. A poorly remembered Counter Monkey story. Hell I’d rather see you watch an episode of TNA and review it, because that might be less negative than this. I like you Spoony, but I don’t want to watch you relent about how fucking horrible your life is. We’ve all got tough lives Spoony, but you play video games and watch movies for a living. I don’t care how bad those games and movies are, if you can’t find some element of joy in that, then fuck you.

    • Renaissance_nerd

      you do know Spoony’s whole shtick is to be an angry reviewer that laments about everything right?

      Noah Antwiler the man, is a very shy polite nerd, and is almost nothing like the persona of “spoony”

      Spoony is his wild side that for various reasons he can’t let out in normal day to day life, believe it or not we all have such a duality, most of us release our wild sides in abusive comments on the internet.

    • http://twitter.com/TheAbridgenator Steve O.

      Ahem, if you’ll forgive me for blatantly quotemining, here is a bit from Atop the Fourth Wall’s comment section that should enlighten you on the purpose of this and other caustic critics: “We complain so we can get a BETTER story. We critique it because we want things to be BETTER, stronger, more enjoyable.”

      This is something I feel is missing from the people that beg for more positive reviews or espouse “Don’t hate because shut up.” If we don’t complain, or comment, or bring up the idea that such and so lacks quality, then the creators will not learn their mistakes. They’ll get nothing but glowing, vague praise, and that can do nothing but condemn their work to mediocrity.

    • http://www.saisasylum.com/ Sai

      I would have to agree. All of the Ultima videos so far were hilarious, I think because they were simple, focused and had snappy, organic humor. The first Ultima 9 video was funny, the second one felt padded but I figured it would all be done with the third video. Then came two more videos and they just felt unfocused and most of the jokes fell flat. I mean Spoony already mentioned several times how much these games meant to him as a kid, I don’t think I needed 6 minutes of rambling to get that. And I know it was 6 minutes because after 1 minute I kept skipping ahead to see when he’d be done.

      Linkara’s One More Day video was at least paced well and the ranting was still played for laughs, I thought it was pretty funny.

  • http://twitter.com/muskieratboi Muskie the Otterboi

    …..PLOT. Holy shit, that was one hell of a cliffhanger.. Well done, Spoony. Keep it together.. I wanna see how this ends!

  • http://www.facebook.com/matt.graham.9081 Matt Graham

    i’d soo like to see spoony do a review of bubba ho tep, i love that movie

  • FigmentImage

    Fucking. Amazing.

    I have absolutely nothing else to say. I’d go off on the “best” parts, on what was done well and what really “got to me”, but there is absolutely nothing about this review (and in turn, this entire series) that did not pay off in spades at the end.

    I am in awe.

    I cannot wait for the FFXIII review. I should probably go finish that game sometime before that happens, though. Yeah, I’m one of “those” fans, constantly stuck in the irrational need to play and finish EVERY Final Fantasy game, regardless of how far the series has fallen.

    Keep it up, Spoony! Now, at this stage of your career, you are producing your finest work!

  • sergio Estilarte

    i’m a little ashamed, but you almost make me cry sir at the end. You are awesome

  • http://twitter.com/strahm steven

    I have never known a review video on such a shit game could bring out such emotion. The nostalgia of you and your brother, the shock of you throwing your games, the mass effect-ish indoctrination, and finally your badass paladin moment. Very inspriring.

  • calbeck357

    Damn, son. What to say that hasn’t been said? You really put your heart into this, and I can’t wait to see where things go from here.

  • http://twitter.com/plastikloeffel El K

    this was an amazing ending!
    I can’t wait for ff xIII!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000013328759 Dylan Ihde

    I could sit here and butter your bread (because this review was awesome) but instead I’ll just say this:

    Britannia is 0.41 Miles around.

  • http://www.facebook.com/martin.wehrmeyer Martin Wehrmeyer

    Very very good episode. I let it sink in and re-watched it. I take back what I said about you. You are still able to make good breathtaking videos Noah.

    Thank you.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1528258562 Michał Sulkowski

    Seriously guys,
    What is the name of the song during the credits? it bugs the hell out of me

    • Renaissance_nerd

      stabbing westward – the thing i hate

  • http://twitter.com/dachauncinator Chris Rupp


  • http://www.facebook.com/catherine.urrego.1 Catherine Urrego

    Spoony, please get some sleep. I get worried whenever I see your face in this video. Thank you for going through Hell for us, too.

  • http://www.facebook.com/gjhorst Gregory J. Horst

    To evoke emotion with ones works, that is art. You sir are an artist of the highest caliber. I look forward to your next masterpeice.

  • http://www.facebook.com/john.ferrara3 John Ferrara

    OUTSTANDING!!! video Spoony you really but your time in it and gave it your all. Also thanks for showing us your fans the height at which the Ultima Series fell it was inspiring.

  • http://www.facebook.com/charly.knoch Charly Knoch

    man your are fucking awesome, when ever your in germany let me know .

    • http://www.facebook.com/benjamin.roth.718 Benjamin Roth

      Me too.

  • http://twitter.com/TheAbridgenator Steve O.

    Dude, only Bruce Boxlietner can get people out of their galaxy just by telling them, man! Risky gambit! Still, always have a backup…though I have to wonder if there’s an Anti-Magic Gunslinger around…

    I am admittedly surprised how much Spoonyroth is factoring into this, considering the buildup is for Final Fantasy 13. But then again, let’s face it, Sephiroth is the Wolverine of Final Fantasy, so noone can blame you. XD

  • Renaissance_nerd

    wooohoooooo! got to be honest part 4 dragged on a bit but man that ending was worth it! keep em coming Spoony man!

  • http://www.facebook.com/matthew.bass.142 Matthew Bass

    Well done Spoony, really well done in completing the review and giving us a look into your life. Thanks for everything.

  • http://hyperbolicfilmrant.blogspot.com/ sekiwat

    You’ve got balls, Spoony.

  • TheHarmonixer

    Amazing review Spoony. As it has been already said, the part where you talked about playing Ultima with your brother was very powerful, and really drove home your statement about Ultima IX. The last few minutes was also very well done! I’m very excited to see your next videos. Here’s one fan that has been with you almost since the beginning, and will continue to watch your videos!

  • http://www.facebook.com/benjamin.roth.718 Benjamin Roth

    I’m speechless. This is… just wow!

    First of all, I haven’t played any game of the Ultima series and
    fortunately, everything I loved and enjoyed since childhood died
    peacefully. That is, everyting but Final Fantasy VII. But then again, at
    least SE did not decided to actually revive Aeris at the end of Advent
    Children or Dirge of Cerberus! Or having Cloud ask questions like “Who
    is Aeris?” or “What’s the lifestream?” or “The meteor?”. I can only
    imagine what torment it must have been to suffer through Ultima IX,
    especially because of your special connection to the series. Watching
    you raging against this unholy conclusion of the series you once loved
    (and the misery of life) sure was funny, but so sad at the same time.
    You really have my sympathy.

    Sharing, how intensive you hate this game was one thing. But then, you
    came up with the whole Spoony and Sephiroth storyline and I have to
    admit, I’m really looking forward to the FFXIII review, just to see what
    will happen next. You did a great job raising the tension and creating a
    connection between Ultima and Final Fantasy contributed well to the
    drama of “the experiment” as a whole. Seriously, you might as well start
    as a screenwriter or director because you know how to get the audience
    excited. Of course this stuff is weird but it gives me the chills

    And finally, I hope you will kill and destroy FFXIII (however that may
    be possible) HARD. I want to see you verbally and/or physically beating
    the crap out of it for everything it did wrong. The stupid “Closed Mega
    Theater”, the delay of VersusXIII in favor of a pointless and unwanted
    sequel, the f*ck-no-sense-ending, the pearl necklace called Crystarium,
    the numerous false promises, the ohsostupid Shiva bike, the awfully
    one-dimensional characters and their ridiculous names, the
    oversimplified gameplay, the linear and narrow as hell dungeons, the
    annoyingly repetitive and unsurprising progress of the game, the
    shameless name-dropping for no reason,…

    Take all the time you need to send this game to the deepest circle of
    hell right next to Squall, Tidus and the Guardian. Take revenge for what
    it has done to those of us who hoped months and years for a great game
    and got so mercilessly screwed.

  • Kaarel Jakobson

    This was weird, and I mean that in a good way. Even though this installment was light on funny moments, I couldn’t help but be impressed with the whole experience with general.

    I can really, really sympathize with a cherished work of fiction turning on you. There is a certain TV series that’s not just among my favorite things ever, but really a formative experience for me. It’s very near and dear to me, and will stay with me for the rest of my life. (It’s actually something you hate, heh.) The thing is, its remake sucks beyond my ability to describe. Watching it genuinely made me depressed for weeks, and even now, being reminded of it can ruin my mood. It hurts more than the Star Wars prequels, Invisible War and DC’s treatment of Batgirl combined. The pain will never go away.

    Frankly… I’d really be interested in seeing some reviews of awesome stuff you like. (Your videos about the good Ultima games made me consider giving them a shot.) I think that would be a good way to counteract the bitter disappointments geek properties tend to become.

    Nice Babylon 5 reference, by the way.

  • Renaissance_nerd

    “Thats a Paladin!” fucking epic,

  • http://www.facebook.com/geoffrey.skutt Geoffrey Skutt

    Loved it. Keep up the good work, Spoony, The Mass Effect style color scheme for the choices was perfect… and just out of curiosity was that anti-magic gun a Bladerunnder pistol?

  • http://twitter.com/AndrewEisen Andrew Eisen

    Wow. Believe it or not, I actually guessed “$100.”

  • Renaissance_nerd

    Spoony was mostly correct in his definition of a Paladin going strictly by history, However a Paladin as we know them in popular culture has become the symbol of everything righteous and good, a devout follower of his religion and the martial arm of his church. He embodies every single noble virtue, the Avatar is in fact, a Paladin.

  • Charles Logsdon

    I’ve lurked since the Ultima II review but feel compelled to wade into the morass of TSE’s message board for the first time. I don’t think that there can be any doubt that Spoony’s reviews of the Ultima series are definitive.. This is coming from a guy that regards playing Ultima 4 as possibly the greatest gaming experience of his life. I’ll never forget booting up U4 off of a floppy on our crappy Atari 800xl and seeing my character’s icon surrounded by a ring of forest tiles … and that was pretty much it. Most of the screen was black – you could not see through the dense forest. I just started to wander, and discover. It took me – and I’m not kidding here – weeks of playing to figure out what I was supposed to be doing. I was just a kid and it was magical.

    Spoony really took it easy on U9. There was so much drama surrounding the game’s development and release that by the time that it came out, I was prepared for the worst. Even so, it managed to shock me with its awfulness.

    If there was a missed opportunity in the U9 review, I think it was a discussion of the fall of 3DFX, which was very interesting in itself and caused endless grief for anyone that wanted to play U9 on a “modern” (see:nVidia) card.

    In any case, outstanding.

  • Coregoth88

    I guessed 100 gold pieces right before you said it, it was like an echo in this fucking room! That was awesome! And I paused and everything.

  • doresh

    1. OMG, who the hell approved this game?! It’s like some deranged mind had all the right bits and pieces of the Ultima Lore, but then put them in a blender oO !

    2. Glad to know I’m not the only one who has problems remembering names. That stuff can be pretty embarrassing at times…

    3. My guess was 1 Gold Piece XD !

    4. AWESOME

    And now I remember all the franchises, companies and even people I grew to love, only to have them decay, shut down or dying far too early. Guess I’ll always have the old stuff, but it hurts to know how it all ended, and that there will probably never be anything new… >.>

  • dave collie

    Long time fan and i tell you something your way ahead of any other review on the net because you but your heart into what you do. while alot just use the same format for every review you come up with something fresh every time.Oh and one more thing i started watching that tgwtg because i wanted to watch you before i figured you had your own website.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Kurokun1293 Roger Smith

    Woah. I felt the room grow cold the moment after the Avatar restored the final shrine and…well…considering its friggin 90 degrees in here, thats saying something.

    Remember Android 16 from Dragonball Z, and the emotional weight it held when he sacrificed himself, knowing full well that because he’s a machine, he cannot be wished back to life by the Dragonballs?

    Or really imagine any sacrifice suddenly losing the impact of sacrifice, that they’re brought back to life on a whim. Do you know how aggravating that is? The sacrifice is the POINT of the emotional, dramatic weight! Its losing something for the greater good, to buy time so that others might live, to achieve a goal that needs a martyr. There are exceptions, like LOTR, which you don’t mind as much.

    I don’t even play the Ultima series and that offends me. Or as Spoony would say, “HOW DO YOU FUCK THAT UP!?”

  • Renaissance_nerd

    I think Spoony knew he couldn’t bring the funny with this one as there is just so much face palm stuff in Ultima IX, he probably felt if he was going to make it funny he would be recycling alot of jokes, (and some of his more rabid fans have a shit fit when he recycles jokes) so he went the drama route and i think it paid off in spades. well done Spoony.

  • Bradley Foxx

    I’m just going to say it. I think this review was not really funny
    , not in the least…But DAMN it was good…I have to say, I was disturbed by these parts of the Ultima XI review, but in a good way. I couldn’t really tell if what happened to your eyes was genuine or not, but everything else, I could tell, you weren’t simply acting. THIS really seems like your honest thoughts of Ultima XI, and how it betrayed you…Seriously, that thing about bringing DuPre back to life was honestly just…revolting to me, so much so I screamed in anger at the screen. Not only is it not really possible, but it’s, for lack of a better word, a betrayal to the fantastic story writers and the character of DuPre when they decided he would sacrifice himself, his very existence to ensure that all life in every universe everywhere kept on going, in YOUR place…And to bring him back to life after such a noble act is such a slap in the face for everyone who experienced it that it was sickening that they would ever…EVER think about doing that…But hey, that’s just me. In the end, fuck the guys who made this game, and you, good sir, keep on rocking. Thanks for continuing your experiment, Spoony.

  • Renaissance_nerd

    If i can inject my own interpretation of the ending, a battered, broken Spoony sits there contenplating all the ills of his life, So much his pain and torture, so great is his conflict his face begines to distort… as he sits there walking the line of his sanity his last effort before his fall to madness is to reach out and orate aloud the definition of a champion, the noble warriors who symbolize everything good and noble, in this last moment Avatar Spoony musters his courage to resist. shouting to reaffirm to himself and all who doubt him,

    “Thats a Paladin!”

    and the darkness has no power over me

  • http://twitter.com/Barachiel1976 David

    I haven’t finished this yet, but I have to comment:

    Spoony, what happened? You look like you’ve been infected with the T-virus! The jet lag hitting you that bad?

    • Renaissance_nerd

      finish the vid, you’ll understand

  • Big Man X

    i have nothing to say that everyone else has probably said, this is one of your best if not the best review because you took us into your past and made us share the feelings you had for the series and made us feel the same betrayal you feel for this game as well as the hatred you feel for it. and you also remain strong even after everything that has happened, you are an inspiration, i know this doesn’t mean much coming from some guy who watches your videos, but here is a fan that is staying.

  • http://twitter.com/ahackley1 ahackley

    This was worth the wait. I noticed as Ultima 9 started that Spoony started to breakdown. Trying to make it funny but as part two and well part 3 and 4 were posted, it showed the emotionally toll it had taken and I like that. I expected that, whether it was a genuine or concocted breaking down to that level of exhaustion, anger and frustration. Watching the Ultima Retrospective has made me love these games for the story and so when Dupre announced that he was suddenly alive I just felt my jaw drop. I just shook my head and said “wow, end this review now because this is just painful.” But it was followed with the most touching discussion of childhood memories. Like many I obviously cannot see this as a simple act. The montage of different clips of all that could play out as possible futures for Spoony was amazing as well. Drew me in with the emotion and had me glued to the screen. Thank you for the hard work, Spoony. Rest up. I look forward to your next post.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jordan.d.booth Jordan Dante Booth

    Noah man ive watched all your videos man and I never commented on your site or on any other site I find your vids and well I just want to say that was an amazing video and an entire amazing retrospective and the last 30 to 40 secongd was just the pay off I was wishing for and I commened you man you really made me smile and cry in the same video because no matter how dark the part afetr the credits is just awing

  • http://www.facebook.com/garflindsay Gareth Lindsay

    I have watched nearly all of Noah’s videos from the vlogs to the reviews and this one was THE BEST one of the entire series, he has inspired me to review games as well. Good luck Noah here is to the future of the Spoony experiment.

  • Nic Ziolkowski

    Oh man! Hahaha I just realized what Spoony did! He parodied the ME3 endings in his own. The ME3 music in the background, the use of red/blue/green in the different flashbacks, and the gaurdian giving Spoony a choice to pick one of the three. Oh man that was really genius Noah, I commend you, and well done once again!

    • Malidictus

      I knew the music sounded familiar… Can’t say it was a very good ME3 ending parody, though. That ending sucked and came out of nowhere, whereas Spoon’s was actually quite epic and was actually pretty solidly established as soon as the Guardian showed up.

      Either way, can’t wait to see what Sephiroth’s up to.

  • Adell

    Guardian gave Spoony the Color Coded mass Effect 3 endings. And just like those, they made no fucking sense! :D

  • http://twitter.com/JOSHItheDrako Joshua Jimenez

    I am really sorry for you. Must be really hard for you. Seeing a game series you hold so dear being ruined and everything else.
    I am sorry for all of it, that whole thing with TGWTG and everything else. I wish I could make you happy. I hope you can manage to go on by yourself.
    I heard you have depressions, I really hope you get over them, I know how hard it is, since I knew someone who killed himself because of it. And your dark rings around your eyes don’t make me think any different about it.
    Listen, I wish you the best of luck ^^

  • http://www.facebook.com/sam.spurlock.3 Sam Spurlock

    yes bubba hotep

  • marabackman

    The story you told about your brother and playing Ultima was very sweet and touching. The closest I have to a game that affects me as much, and had a huge role in my childhood, that would be Warcraft 2. We didn’t have any PC games in our house when I was little, so seeing WCII on a friend’s home was a mind-blowing thing back in ´95. I still love that game but ever since Warcraft III, even more so with WoW and its expansions, it isn’t really my Warcraft anymore.

    Anyhow… Take care man. You’re a great entertainer and I wish you the best. :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/sam.spurlock.3 Sam Spurlock

    btw there is going to be a new ultima mmo

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Christopher-Laney/100001480487773 Christopher Laney

    Good show sir, very good show.

  • http://www.facebook.com/JLBehrend Jeremy Behrend

    is it jst me, or does Spoony REALLLY look tired (or possessed?) really red around the eyes. …maybe allergies?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Adam-Stackenland/854319790 Adam Stackenland

    This was probably your greatest review! You are a great actor Spoony :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/David-Nuka-Sonne/718413063 David Nuka Sonne

    Spoony… you are BADASS !

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ryan-Hadley/1504681506 Ryan Hadley

    Well I know A lot of this was written and edited together to be a coherent review but the way you handled that moment with Dupre’ coming back to life in the game was in a way…impressive. Most other reviewers might get fake raged about such a thing even if they felt hurt by it they would of gotten over it to some degree and to always keep a “professional” face on but you showed how you really felt even if you merged it in with the rest of the review.

    Not sure if it was part of the script to begin with or you where just recording for this and you wanted to edit it in to show you you felt but it was just so emotional either way how you explained your childhood and your development through these games and how it shaped you to what you are today. The rest after was a bit depressing to the point it was silly but what you conveyed right after the moment of the characters resurrection was touching.

    Thank you for sharing that bit of human feeling with us instead of just keeping everything scripted and edited so that everything is just so perfect to the point it is sickeningly unrealistic. Its the same with a lot of your videos even with all the editing and the ramped up emotions you still manage to show yourself off as you are. I have enjoyed watching your videos for many years Spoon and this one kind of made me cry.

    Keep doing what you do Spoon your an amazing reviewer and its just great to see some realism and passion put into reviews so you can actually relate to the reviewer and not be amused by some random character someone pulled out of their ass.

  • http://twitter.com/ManiacRedbird Derek Rich

    Pretty great stuff here Spoony/Noah.

  • http://www.facebook.com/lina.jones.142 Lina Jones

    Aw, fuck, I need a new pair of pants. This is turning out quite amazing. However long you need to get this accomplished, take your time. Quality can’t be forced, after all. :)

  • Katelyn

    Bad. Ass.

    (One word–not two separate insults)

  • godmars

    And I just started re-watching the first two -Sweet! XD

  • http://twitter.com/evodmasters Aaron Mattew Gibson

    Spoony, I have been watching you and other reviewers from around the time that you started doing Final Fantasy 8 reviews, but this is the first time that I felt the need to comment on a review. This is one of your best reviews that you have ever done, to go further, it was one of the best reviews that I have ever seen anywhere. Sure there are plenty of reviewers who have a history with their subjects when they review them and they go through the time to tell us why these forms of entertainment are good or bad. What makes your review better than the other ones I have seen around the net is the amount of hatred and pain that you put yourself through when you did this. From the trail of tears that were on your face and the willingness to share why this game hurt you, shows that you put more into these reviews than anyone else on the “review circuit.” You get it, These games and movies are not just some empty form a entertainment. Players and watchers invest their time and emotions to the stories told and characters created. We create fond memories of the times we spend there and learn as much about the universes as we can to share our experiences there with others who share our fandom.
    I could ramble further, but this post is too long as it is. I will close this by saying that it is nice to know that there is someone else who grew up with something wonderful, devoted themselves to it, and felt the same way I felt when some Spawn of Hell decides to take a blood and semen covered shit on the things we can about. I hope that one day you get to be happy again and that future story tellers will take their fanbase into account before they make us suffer and loose us forever.

  • http://www.facebook.com/DinoTsar Nolan Byrrd

    That last line was just perfectly executed. Nice one.

    • Jegsimmons

      “Thats a paladin”
      *gun shot*

  • memph


  • http://twitter.com/ArosKing

    I have to say, this may be the best thing I ever seen from you Spoony. Although I didn’t really agree with your thought’s on Final Fantasy 8 10 and 10 – 2 I can agree that 13 sucked and after seeing this I am hyped to see what you have to say about it and what you will do with the review. But this review of this series was just spectacular. I mean you gave such detailed information and personal memories in this and when this review came I knew I was going to enjoy it cause I enjoy all your stuff but this… This was just unbelievable. Every single thing here I do not think I could catch half of it and you went above and beyond information needed to give. Not only that I really felt like crying and I seriously feel deep pain when you talked about your brother and how Ultima made you be able to read and what not. I honestly at first was waiting for some big punch line and I kinda was waiting for it to hurry up. But at the end seeing you throw those books I could see so much emotion and I felt so much pain that honestly no work of fiction or anything else nearly has made me feel. This is how a review should be made and I was entertained by the jokes and everything just seemed to be perfect!

    But I have to say. For the first time I cared about the story. I mean the fights you do with yourself are fun but god man that delivery you gave was amazing. Through out this review I honestly thought you were in pain cause of your eyes and I know you have health problems as is. Not only that the way you made the Guardian talk about you I honestly started to hate him for saying it and really wanted to see him hurt caulse I (As I am sure a lot of fans of spoony can attest) would never stop watching his stuff caulse I love it so much. Then to top it all off with explaining what a paladin was in a real world sense and shooting the guardian that was just freaking epic! I honestly had to read the reviews to make sure that this was not real (The parts that spoony was really upset and stuff and his eyes and the scratchings on his face and stuff) and you were ok. You sucked me in that much! I can never say that for anything else I ever watched man!

    Spoony you are an inspiration. You are a master and you deserve every fan you have and then some. I hope you never stop making videos cause the day you do will be a sad day for us all. I can not wait for Final Fantasy XIII and I cant wait to see more form you. God bless you sir!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Chuck-Sparks/100000635601640 Chuck Sparks

    Bravo sir. once again, you do not fail to deliver quality content, proving that not everything has to be funny in order to be entertaining. this is the most serious piece of work i’ve seen from you and i like it. quality from beginning to end. although there were a few chuckles to be had, the serious and hearfelt tone of this finale proves how good you are at what you do. i’m damn proud to be a fan. please keep up the good work, we may not all always comment, we may not all watch every posted video, but we all appreciate what you do, and we all enjoy watching you do what you love. you’re living the dream man, and as long as you keep making them, I will keep watching. Long Live the Experiment! Long Live The Spoony One!

  • Kendotuxedo

    Oh man, TWO PARTS?!?! I haven’t even watched them yet but I’m SO ready.
    First I’m grabbing some snacks, a drink, and sitting down to see the rest of this “Fuckpocalypse”.
    Thank you Spoony for making my weekend that much better. m/

  • http://www.facebook.com/Logan.Beavers23 Logan Beavers

    by far the best spoony videos ever.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1439758043 Kevin Smith

    holy shit… that was epic…

  • Renaissance_nerd
  • StHubi

    I do not have words to describe how awesome that review was! This was proabably the best video you have done so far… I am totaly amazed…

    Thanks for playing through U9. I couldn’t do it several years ago. It crashed to often and I did not have much fun playing it. Thanks!

  • http://twitter.com/DragonStryk72 Sean McTiernan

    What gets me is just how much suck there was in this game, and especially given brilliant the earlier games had been. If this were a stand alone game, it would still be a bag game, but it wouldn’t engender much rage, cause it’s just a bad story and game control. However, when you look at how detailed and brilliant the prior games were, it only casts this game into darker and darker light.

    What gets me is how many times they directly contradict themselves in the course of the game, and yet keep trying to make it seem like its to a greater purpose.

  • Logion

    The ending was just amazing. And you made the Stabbing Westward song 500 times more epic to listen to.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Reilly-Voorhees/100000569612745 Reilly Voorhees

    Wait, Blue, red, and green scenarios? peaking into the future of what happens in each of them, spoony you brilliant, sly dog, that was a nice little nod to the Mass Effect 3 ending.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Reilly-Voorhees/100000569612745 Reilly Voorhees

      I just wish the resistance choice was as awesome in that game as it was in this video

  • http://twitter.com/pandamanana ⓣⓞⓜ 紳 Göran

    Best review… ever? Yes. Fuck yes.

  • http://www.facebook.com/kajowwojak Lane Burnside

    I guessed 50 gold. close enough?

    Also, did you just simply not sleep? Or is that makeup on your face o.o

  • Ferenc Kovacs

    welcome back, Noah.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1185368350 Damon Sherman

    wow, that got dark.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/David-Allan/1473780054 David Allan

    That was the most epic and inspiring review I have ever seen. I can’t say enough how touching and badass that was. Thank you Spoony! You rock.

  • MechaVelma

    Your rage and disappointment came through so loud and clear that I had to wash this review down with your epic tale of larping revenge (Spoony’s Jyhad).I shudder to think what you’d do to EZ with 30 pounds of semtex.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1484211254 Søren Nielsen

    The scene with your memories had me sobbing for a full ten minutes…
    i have never, and i do mean never, been touched by anything on the internet that deeply, this represents how i feel about the Heroes of might and magic series and age of empires (yes, i am a bit young). i have memories almost exactly alike those you described.

    this review is by far the best you have done in my opinion.
    keep it up man, we love you

  • http://twitter.com/SilvTH Chris Hass

    Holy shit, dude, that ending freaked me out, but either way it was fucking epic. You’re really taking the shit you’re going through in RL, combining it with the franchises you loved as a kid that you witnessed being gang-raped, and putting it all into a massive storyline that I truly respect.

  • http://www.facebook.com/matt.casseday.1 Matt Casseday

    I know this comment is pretty pointless and you’ll probably never read it, but whatever. This experiment has meant a lot to me. When I started watching it, it was after I first finished ff 10 and a friend showed me the first part of the review when it first came out. I didn’t fully agree with your opinion, but I appreciated the view and analysis. I ended up watching more of your stuff, at first because you were funny, but then because it was actually kind of informative later on. Without the experiment, I would have never played some of my favorite games, starting with Persona 3, my current favorite game as a result of your smt review vlog, and learning about many many more great games as a result. I learned to look at things analytically, and (in conjunction with an ap lit class), I have learned to love many games that provide more artistic worth than the computers and consoles that run them. I have also been able to find communities and interests thanks to all of this, and some things you have said have actually inspired me. It sounds kind of cheesy and retarded probably a bit creepy, but this whole thing means a lot to me. I’m now working on a game project, and one that actually is currently earning the praise people I know who actually know what they are talking about. If it works out and doesn’t suck balls, maybe I’d give you a free copy. After all, criticism is necessary. Thank you

  • http://twitter.com/WRONGonRED Andrew St. Andrew

    Just like this review, all good things eventually come to an end.

  • http://www.facebook.com/matt.casseday.1 Matt Casseday

    yeah… but it was great while it lasted

  • http://www.facebook.com/faolan.lunasvalen Faolan Lunasvalen

    that ending Spoony just hit a whole new level of awesomeness!

  • http://twitter.com/Kennethalmighty Kenneth

    That was just great. Thx man.

  • http://www.facebook.com/xfirefly Tori Maier

    Boy, that escalated quickly.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Christopher-Alden/100000469737019 Christopher Alden

    Between the outburst where you threw the games, the red eyes, and the claw marks on your face… Jesus.

    Spoony… This was just an act, right? You’re OK, right?

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cart-Man/100002326540155 Cart Man


  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ville-Gunnarsson/100000930270763 Ville Gunnarsson

    Really great ending to Spoony’s Ultima retrospective – I can’t wait to see how he rips FFXIII apart. :)

  • http://twitter.com/zodd88 Guido Palombi

    I had to watch the entire review as a whole just to get that awesome feeling while reaching the end. Despite all the sense of betrayal and despair, all the good memories wasted and destroyed, Spoony rises from his ashes and delivers one of the best bits of awesomeness anyone can find on the internet today: ”Because my friend…that’s a Paladin !”
    Well now I sure know what a fuckin’ Paladin is . Thanks Spoony, keep up the good work !

  • http://www.facebook.com/Mr.Doog Aaron Good

    I never thought an internet reviewer would bring me to tears in such a genuine, transparent and utterly real display of humanity.

  • http://twitter.com/Presidium_Fish MM

    *No way.*

    Did you just-?

    Was that -seriously- Mass Effect? I’d know that horrible ME3 song anywhere.

    If you play Kai Leng, please, shoot him, burn him – kill him in the most awful way you can think of. Maybe with a toothbrush? Or by making him choke on the cereal he’s eating?

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Konstantin-Akhmetov/100000303416185 Konstantin Akhmetov

      Wait, wut? These two Clint Mansell pieces were great. They were just about the only thing that kept me from punching the monitor out of rage at the catalyst and whoever wrote him.

  • http://www.facebook.com/michael.depiazza Michael De Piazza

    That….that was a masterpiece. That was a piece of art. That was more than my words can describe, but if I may try; THAT WAS AWESOME!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmy-TheFish/100000139595167 Jimmy TheFish

    Hey spoony I have a brother too and an older half brother, he gave me his old starwar toys (which I ruined) starwars always a special place. Then Lucas destroyed it.

    Any games we love Resident Evil thats starts off as a horror game will eventually turn into an action game, same thing with dead space. Wow everything good will be raped for the purpose of making money.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Phil-Minott/1724831167 Phil Minott

    And that is how you end a Fucking review! i know you hate assholes who kiss you’re ass in the comment section. but stuff like this is why you are my Favorite reviewer. I just felt the need to say that at least once. live long, and keep kicking ass!

  • Tasshen12

    Holy shit.

    I’m a first-time commenter, but I’ve been watching Spoony’s reviews for…hell, it’s got to be over a year and a half by now. And this was downright THE best review I have seen on this site, and almost definitely one of the greatest reviews of pretty much anything, ever. Despite being someone that had never even heard of the Ultima games before this retrospective, let alone played them, this retrospective has managed to keep me laughing AND interested the whole time.

    But this review really outshines them all, and that’s probably because, in the end, of how heartfelt and even tragic it is. Spoony talking about how one of his first memories was fighting the floor with his brother? It made me feel nostalgic and think about some of the fundamental parts of my own childhood that helped shape who I am and what I’m interested in today. The moment where he threw the books and games across the room was soul-crushing. And the ending…well, the rest of you folks saw it too. It was fucking incredible.

    I am extremely excited to see the continuation (and perhaps resolution) of this arc that you’ve been building up. In a way, it seems like everything before this — Insano, clone Spoony, Black Lantern Spoony (my former favorite story arc, as it would happen), the Ultimate Warrior, Yuna, and the respective reviews they’ve been in — has been building up to this. And I’m looking forward to it.

    So here’s to you, Spoony. Wishing you success, good health, and happiness in both these and future endeavors.

    PS: the eye makeup was incredibly well-done and creeped me out, along with it seems a fair portion of your fanbase. Great job.

  • http://www.facebook.com/julie.sabin1 Julie Sabin

    I think I need a cigarette after that. That was an incredible ending, especially those last several minutes. Everything from when he explained how he got into Ultima (I was cringing when he started throwing the Ultima stuff) to “That’s a Paladin” was incredible. Serious props on the makeup work, too. I really thought for a moment you somehow got two black eyes, but I realized it was makeup, and damn good work, too. Just… Damn.

    I can’t wait for FF XIII.

  • http://www.facebook.com/blake.c.doughty Blake Curtis Doughty

    loved this review man. also, the

  • http://twitter.com/sandpenguin Pablo Morales

    spoony dude, i fucking love you

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Riku-Himawari/100001113904887 Riku Himawari

    This… has got to be the greatest Internet Review of all time.

    I watched this a few hours ago, and didn’t want to comment on it right away. I wanted the initial reaction to subside.

    But here I am, more than half a dozen hours after, and the feeling still persists.

    Spoony. Do your thing.

  • http://www.facebook.com/adam.murray.77398 Adam Murray

    Ive watched this video 15 times so far, Im still getting chills from part 4s ending images….

  • http://www.facebook.com/kailee.hoskins Kailee Hoskins

    I don’t know what to say that hasn’t already been said, Spoony. Truly a fantastic series of reviews, and this one really tops them all. This has been a fabulous journey through the Ultima games, and seeing what they did in the last game made me want to throw something, and i’ve never even played them. You really gave a feel for the rise and fall of the series. I don’t know what else to say other than thanks for the journey. Keep up the great work. I look forward to more reviews.

  • http://www.facebook.com/matthewbbaumgartner Matthew Baumgartner

    That. Was. AWESOME!!
    I totally enjoyed the entire Ulitima retrospective and these last videos were great.
    Love the final closing speech Spoony gave the Guardian.
    Noah keep making these great videos

  • http://www.facebook.com/dylan.williams.58152559 Dylan Williams

    “What, are you dense? Are you retarded or something? Who do you think I am? I’m the goddamn Avatar.”

  • http://www.facebook.com/catherine.urrego.1 Catherine Urrego

    You blow me away, Spoony.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmy-TheFish/100000139595167 Jimmy TheFish

    People keep going on about FF13 but who kept playing after FF10x2 (when it switched from squaresoft to squareenix things really went down the crapper).

    • doresh

      Seriously, it’s like the choreographers from Advent Children somehow took over the gameplay department, removing more and more of your direct control in order to show you kewl stunts. If this trend continues, the battles will either devolve into Quick-Time events – or just ditch the gameplay and show you FMVs Oo

      (My only problem with this theory is FF12: it takes control away from you, but the actual battles are boring as hell. Guess the game was alredy to far in development)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585082466 Athan Brown

    The first part is funny. The second is good. the third is great, but tedious. The fourth is soul touching, funny, and fucking perfect. And, yes, THAT WAS A FUCKING PALADIN.

  • http://twitter.com/LikChan Lik Chan

    Just finished it. Wow Noah, the story about your first experience with Ultima was incredibly touching. You showed us how games can influence us and impact out lives and how much it means to our childhoods and life in general. Bravo.

  • http://twitter.com/plastikloeffel El K

    is it just me or do I see the happy Mass Effect rainbow choices when the Guardian talks about Spoonys possible choices?
    Would make sense after seeing the bit right at the end with sephiroth in a very TIM fashion.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Maria-Burgos/695457109 Maria Burgos

      it was the mass effect rainbow

  • http://www.facebook.com/andrewrg1 Andrew Resch Gillespie

    The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for His name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil. For you are with me.

    I know you’re not particularly religious, Spoony, so please don’t consider this patronizing. If you do, that’s unavoidable. All I can do is pray for you, that you don’t continue to become isolated and alone. You have a gift, a talent: To make people laugh and think and even cry, and please know that it is appreciated even by strangers. Thank you for sharing this part of you with us, and may you continue to do so.

  • Cantumimbra

    OH MY GOD!! This was excellent, brilliant, awesome, and every single congratulatory word that exists in english (even if “congratulatory” doesn’t)!! I’m speechless this is so good. !!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/alia.goodall Alia Goodall

    You know Spoony… your… the way you described what the game means to you. you and your brother talking about it and having fun as a kid kinda makes me think of my childhood. As a very young child my dad took me to a friend of ours’ house. He handed me a box and pulled out of it various dice. He told me what each die was and how it worked and what it was for. He then showed me some books, now it would be called 1eD&D but as a kid it was all I knew. He showed me the handbook and told me of classes and monsters etc. Though for a while I couldn’t play since I was too young to completely understand I was put in monster manual duty. They’d ask me if there was a picture of it in the monster manual and I’d hold it open to the page if there was or otherwise shake my head. He played video games with me, showed me Ultima IV and other games. When I was old enough via D&D I learned math easily and even then by the time they’d handed me the book I’d learned to read so I was reading early on because of D&D. And then as I got older I helped introduce it to my little sister. So she played D&D too, and gamed with us and everything. It was a family affair for so long that I have such happy memories. So when I heard you talk about Ultima and what it means to you I actually cried… Thank you Spoony.

  • http://twitter.com/IanHaverkamp Ian Haverkamp

    this was a great way to show your love for the series and the horrible fact that EA destroyed the series

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Maria-Burgos/695457109 Maria Burgos

    that was….
    amazing, I was impressed, this has to be one of the best if not thee best review I have seen to date. I commend and applaud your skill and overall work. The detail and work that was put into this was highly effective and capturing. I hope to continue seeing such engaging performance in your upcoming work.

  • http://www.facebook.com/pandamonium411 Amanda Holland

    Part 3: Fuck anyone who complained about the
    sailing in Wind Waker—even if it was a bit tedious at times, it
    conveyed very well a sense of just how VAST the world was. Besides,
    they give you a quick-travel mechanic pretty quickly after your first
    trip to Ganondorf’s fortress, so they simply had NO PATIENCE.

    The canoe’s pretty cool, admittedly,
    but ya, completely inconsistant.

    …What the fuck? Are my initials
    secretly in the game that was made while I was still a toddler? (I
    had to have been little as fuck, as I accidentally flipped my middle
    and last initial XD)

    No. No, no, no. While normally the idea
    that a massive evil is actually your evil half MIGHT have been a good
    revelation if not for the fact that it’s never really made a big deal
    of. “Go save the world and shit… oh, btw, he’s kinda all of your
    evil coalesced into one big, red exhibitionist, so have fun with
    that.” Plus, ya, you’re not in the SLIGHTEST responsible, as none
    of this was actually due to YOUR actions (…well, maybe the
    destruction of the Gargoyles’ new home…). Oh, also, if the Guardian
    is your evil half, you having ascended to represent all that is good
    in the multiple worlds, then why is he there if you’ve already done
    so much bad? Technically you should lose your abilities as the Avatar
    and the Guardian SHOULDN’T EVEN FUCKING EXIST.

    …Well, that ghostly paladin isn’t
    alive, so shouldn’t he count? Wouldn’t we logically ask him? Unless
    he died like two seconds ago, he should probably know it. Ugh, idk.

    Oh, wonderful, Dupre’s gonna be pretty
    pissed that you robbed his (fake) grave and disturbed his rest
    (/pulled him forcibly from his new duty maintaining balance). Way to
    treat your best friend, douche.

    WAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh man, it like bounced
    off his head! Didn’t even look fucking sharp! Nice one, Raven! XD PS:
    those cinematics are FUCKING HIDEOUS.

    I’m not really surprised—I’d probably
    read all the extra books/scrolls too back in the glory days of
    Ultima. They do so much to build the universe that you play in. Now
    we’re all spoiled by audio logs scattered like breadcrumbs throughout
    each level.

    They could have at least ret-con’ed
    Lord Batlin’s death from the Serpent
    Isle instead of making poor Blackthorn just another 2 dimensional bad
    guy. But then again, I don’t even think they understand just what
    they’d done in the earlier games that made them so good. They just
    don’t get it anymore.

    Oh fuck, that would’ve been AMAZING! He
    could’ve become a paladin and taken Dupre’s place as your backup.
    Damn, we should’ve written this…

    I just realized how dark your eyes
    are—please tell me that’s makeup? You did yourself up to look like
    the game was harming you both physically and mentally the longer you
    spend on it? Otherwise I need to get over there ASAP and start
    forcing you to eat and sleep :( …Ok, I think it is. That’s clever.

    …Oh goody, 100 gold. I’d say that was
    acceptable if maybe you could go out and buy better gear. But you
    can’t. THE FUCK?!

    Wow, that’s impressively thorough of
    you to take off your helmet every time a conversation arises. They
    really could’ve included something like that in the game design, but
    we’ve seen just how skilled these motherfuckers are, so I’m not
    surprised. Just more impressed at your dedication ;)

    Games don’t understand volcanoes. This
    bugged me for years before I finally just accept it as a frustrating

    Almost done! (Hope you at least had a
    nice vacation in Ireland—there’s a happy thought to help you
    survive this soul-crushing endeavor)

  • http://www.facebook.com/pandamonium411 Amanda Holland

    Part 4: Why does Shamino have a manlier voice
    than Dupre? Ugh.

    Another things games don’t seem to get:

    Hehehe, ok, those song refs got me
    pretty good. Then again, I tend to do that every chance I get.

    Oh great, now we’re gonna get some
    moral lessons from the Avatar. I’m sure he’s JUST the guy to teach us
    about morals after lying, cheating, stealing, and murdering his way
    out of Pagan. This game would be so much better if Batman was the
    hero. It wouldn’t be relative in the SLIGHTEST, but it’d STILL be

    I think I see where some of these
    problems stem from, and that’s the constant dialog options you’re
    given. I know they try to put in various speeches to cater to each
    and every player, but some of these options SHOULD NOT BE AVAILABLE
    TO THE FUCKING AVATAR. There’s a difference between giving a few
    options of dialog and compromising your character.

    Maybe their excuse is that the powers
    of the Titan of Aether only work in the world of Pagan where you
    achieved them, but no, I think they just tried their best to forget
    all that shit. Can’t wait to see if there will be ANY consequences to
    summoning that demon. In the old days of Ultima, yes, definitely.
    Here? Probably not.

    Wow, maybe back in the day I’d believe
    that Lord Brittish could do it, but not now. Now he’s one foot in the
    grave and doesn’t know when to quit. And DEFINITELY not when he
    wouldn’t do shit to save Britania before the Avatar.

    Sure would’ve been nice to at least
    figure out what the fuck the Slasher of Veils was. We learned JACK
    SHIT about him. Not even sure what the fuck HAPPENED at the end of
    that game >_>

    Oh good, more simplistic elemental
    areas. And GRAY, too! Hooray! Everyone’s favorite part of Pagan!


    …Wait, now the Codex of Ultimate
    Wisdom is like the Neverending story? It just has in it whatever you
    need at the time? While that would be awesome, you’ve known for like
    6 games THAT IT FUCKING ISN’T.

    Oh wow, an ACTUAL USE for the
    Armageddon spell? Alright, a tiny bit of props to them for that.

    …………………NO. NO. YOU DO NOT
    POWER OF WHO-GIVES-A-SHIT! (Ya, I had about the same amount of time
    staring in disbelief as you did. I think I’m going to throw up.)

    Ok, good, it IS makeup. I was a little
    worried, there.

    Wow, it got really bright around the 20
    minute mark. DIRECT SUNLIGHT! HISSSSS! Must be fucking hot as hell
    down there.

    I bet the Guardian, if he has as many
    worlds under his thumb as he claims, probably has one dimension that
    he dedicates solely to his bowel movements.

    …No, I’m sorry, but you don’t deserve
    an ultimate sacrifice ending. You, as an Avatar, are a piece of shit.
    You don’t deserve to ascend to Nirvana in the one canon use of the
    Armageddon spell in existence. Sorry, but you completely invalidated
    your own ending. Nothing about that was cathartic, triumphant or in
    the least bit tragic.

    Your ending, however, was rewarding as
    fuck *fist pump* (Eeeee, and Sephi-spoony’s back! My favorite costume
    of yours so far)

    • theshamster

      Here is a explanation of what the Slasher of Veils is, and what relevance he has to the Ultima universe.

    • http://twitter.com/endirasae Laura SoL Campbell

      Even though it’s true, you can’t swin in plate etc, it’s surprising to note that Ultima 9 *does* react if you’re wearing heavier armour. You sink a lot faster, swimming is slower etc. Annoying enough that I’m glad modern games ignore that kinda stuff. :p

  • http://www.facebook.com/KibaZenia Leisa Lynn Ketchledge

    Late at night, or even just during the day, I watch all of my favorite reviews. My favorite being the Ultima reviews simply because you show such compassion to the game and its story. When you started to rage in some of your reviews I knew this one was going to be… extremely emotion and heart wrenching. The moment you got up I leaned towards the screen, I knew it wouldn’t help but as an action, I knew something bad was going to happen. You showed the books, flipped through them and gave us a story of how your childhood was. I couldn’t help but start to cry. Ultima has engraved a pathway from young childhood years to now. When you threw those book, I couldn’t tell if it was acting or actual feelings but I’m thinking they were real, you could see all the anger and frustration… the betrayal as you hear the books hit something over and over. Same for the ankh. I have to say these past few Ultima reviews have kept me on edge to see what will occur next.

    Spoony I’d just like to thank you for what you do with your reviews on movies, games, comics and other random videos. Events in my life currently have been well…. stressful to say the least. I usually find myself hiding in my room curled on my bed with my laptop watching your videos because they are one of the few things that make me smile and laugh throughout the day. You’ve been an inspiration for my Dungeon and Dragon campaigns and how I construct them. You’ve inspired me to strive in what I want to do in life which is to design games. Even if one was bad and you reviewed it I wouldn’t be mad, I would be extremely honored.

    Once again thank you. You truly are an amazing person.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Kurodius Benjamin Hughes

    Bravo sir, excellent work.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Dear.wHATEver Borislav Elinov

    the review was amazing! cant wait to see more i have already watched it like 5 times and im not done yet :] you spoonyone will be one off my teen memories when i get old, cuz most off the quality entertainment i enjoy comes from you, fuck the main stream media with all their bullshit commercials and ads i don’t need an i phone or a flying tampons or any of the bullshit that is advertised today. cheers from from a small country in the Balkans in Europe called Bulgaria you have fans here ^___^

  • http://twitter.com/DarthRevan317 Alexander

    Outstanding review!Best one by far.

    Looking forward to your final fantasy xiii review…

  • http://twitter.com/CedarMusketeer Bryan Gardner

    I have to say, this is the very reason why I will still follow Spoony now that he has left TGWTG and why I no longer follow LordKat. Spoony cares enough about his fans, and his art, and yes, I do consider these videos a kind of performance art. Spoony is not just a reviewer, he is an artist, and a great performer. He puts himself through hell, wearing heavy hot costumes under hot bright lights, and in Arizona where it is like 100+degrees, and turns off the AC to prevent noise. I have heard some hear badmouth him because he is slow, but true art takes time.

    As for the Video itself, The Makeup job was much better than when he did the magician who introduced Oreo, the dark circles around the eyes do make you look like a man at the end of his rope, and the finger lines down your face look more like tracks throuhg the dirt of a prisoner’s face than accidental smudges, The story about how you and your brother played the games together when you were 3 or 4 really tied the whole series together, and did drive the point you made at for as to why you needed to review 1-8 first to give 9 the proper context. Then the final speech shows not only how much you really care for the details to research exactly what a paladin is.

    I’ll get off my soap box now.

    • Jegsimmons

      That make up effect was good, i thought at first spoony was shooting in like 5am because his eyes were all red and shit. it took me a while to realize he was becoming possesed corrupted or what ever. took me by surprise.

      and yes, that heat must be absolutely fucking nuts!

    • http://twitter.com/ladydiskette Christine Dean

      Sorry to be rude or stupid, but I always thought it was Miles that played the Magician in that review of “Skullduggary” not Spoony, I guess I learned something different.
      Also I thought it was a cute way to introduce Oreo into the canon, I love that little puppy <3

  • http://twitter.com/RoppongiCoffee Mr. RHC

    Outstanding review! Really well done!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Gerard-Mckay/1552902991 Gerard Mckay

    Good ending…don’t get the makeup though is it meant to be…you crying? i dunno wasn’t clear maybe i’m just stupid. Explaining what a paladin is made me laugh a lot loved it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Nash-Knight/740228999 Nash Knight

    Awesome review, very emotional, in short I support what everyone wrote here already. I just don’t get how he still gets distressed by things like this. Mutilation of works dear to me from my childhood is something I got used to a long time ago (and I’m about the same age as Spoony). You just have to remember one thing: if someone makes a terrible sequel/remake of a good piece, that piece doesn’t cease to exist. We still have the old Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Heroes of M&M, Ninja Turtles, whatever, and we will, forever.

  • Jegsimmons

    HOLY FUCK! Spoony, you are the man. ive never seen anyone pour so much heart and soul into a review like you did!

  • http://www.facebook.com/lordbejita Rob Iturriaga

    Enjoyed this whole review, as usual. REALLY liked the ending, “That is a paladin.” Keep them coming, Spoony.

  • http://www.facebook.com/gracie.may.986 Gracie May

    I may be be the 5th or hell 50th person to see this. But the three options the Guardian gave him: Red, Green, and blue are pretty much the endings to mass effect 3 with the ending teaser showing Spoony’s indoctrination. Maybe I’m just to lazy to read all the other comments. :) lol

    Great Video as always.

  • http://twitter.com/VirtualAlex VirtualAlex

    Lol I totally guessed out load “100 gold pieces.”


  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003065760352 John Sco

    Spoony, I’ve been watching your videos for years. Most of them I’ve seen dozens of times by now. But this is without a doubt one of your very best works. Your ultima series has been like an icecream sundae, and this is the cherry on the top of it.

    In my mind, this video solidifies you as the very best of the best. You’ve struck a genuine emotional chord with your viewers, which is something virtually no one else has ever been able to do. You truly are an excellent performer, and you deserve every bit of fame and success you’ve had.

    Thank you for entertaining me all these years, and thank you for proving to me, and everyone else, that you’re one of the few who has the testicular fortitude to take a terrible situation and refine it down to pure gold. You truly are one of a kind, and I tip my hat to you, good sir.

  • Vismutti

    Oh wow. You know, Ultima Retrospective quickly became my favourite of all your reviews back when you started it. But man, this kinda blew my mind here. Particularly the part where you just stop and start talking about your childhood. It came unexpected but at the right time and it was perfect for this video series which began with your love for the games. And the ending was great, I think I missed half of it just being so tense and since it was so fast and chaotic but that’s kind of better even: my foremost feeling was a sense of threat rather than any coherent thought. Also it was creepy as hell while being very badass.

    But what really sold it was the personal aspect of this. Because that’s how it felt: very personal.

  • http://www.facebook.com/benjamin.keen2 Benjamin Keen

    What was that snippet in part 3 were the guy goes “Thank you, thank you very much” from, it’s driving me crazy

    • http://www.facebook.com/lina.jones.142 Lina Jones

      Bubba Ho-Tep. Fun movie.

  • L1nk1

    Aaaah the memories… I didn’t even know how to read or write but I.. Somehow.. could operate DOS flawlessly.

  • TrenchAce

    Haha I actually guessed the prize for the lighthouse quest! Well, almost. I guessed it was 1,000 gold, and you said it was only 100 gold, which is even more pathetic.

    • http://twitter.com/endirasae Laura SoL Campbell

      I guessed 50. ;) I didn’t bother with that quest when I played Ascension. It looked like the most tedious thing in the world.

  • http://twitter.com/bloodangel452 Rebecca Amos

    I totally agree on where you’re coming from. To grow up with games that are a symbol of your childhood and the spark to be horrible crushed and mangled down the road and remain completely moot and meaningless is heart breaking. I’ve been a die-hard fan of games series’ growing up and what developers have destroyed to make a quick buck is unnerving and frustrating. The nail in the coffin for me is FFXIII-2. I completed it, respecting what the game was giving me, but after finishing it I nearly took everything that was affiliated with Square and tossed it off the balcony. I am waiting to see how much you rip it apart, because I am right there with you.

  • LinXGUA

    Wow, that was a honest talk from your soul. We felt it and we apreciate it.
    I’ll share too (sorry, guys).
    When i was little, the only game i obssesed with was Bayou Billy. We also had Donkey Kong Country, but i couldn’t touch it. My brother was “afraid i’ll delete the data.” So i sticked to Billy. The ffff”·$% helicopter scene took me a week to learn. Many days later, i got to the mothe·$%&s guys with the guns and bulletproof vest, where i obviously died. The next day, I tried again and reached the same scene, this time with an extra life. Then, i paused the game, called my brother, and gave him the controller. You can say i was a dumb kid, or that i loved my brother; maybe it was both. He struggled for ten seconds. I never touched the game again.
    Years later, i remembered “that Cocodrile Dondee game”, and found Spoony’s review on youtube. I didn’t ever knew that people reviewed games. That review put a sweet smile on my face. And this one too.
    I just want to say: Thank you Spoony!

  • John Doe

    Everyone bitches about FF13, but why would you have bothered playing that game in the first place? I didn’t, and I know I’m not missing a damn thing.

  • http://twitter.com/McphuckCocker PMS-Gaming2020

    The fact that your eyes SPOONY are this messed up makes me question why you didn’t go to the doctor they even look worse in part 4.

    • John Doe

      It’s makeup.

      • http://twitter.com/McphuckCocker PMS-Gaming2020

        In what way? Those were real eye’s.

  • http://www.facebook.com/eshtebala Rashid Al Thahli

    please, please, please Spoony review FF13 so I don’t have to play it.

    • John Doe

      Why would you “have” to play it?

    • theshamster

      bad Idea; that game would be like opening Pandora’s box on Spoony.

  • http://www.facebook.com/sl.madc33 Samuel Lawson

    This video is your magnum opus.

    I’m not saying that to be a fanboy either, as I have been watching your videos for quite some time and have not commented on them. However, this video – both by itself and also as part of the monstrous Ultima retrospective series – is a worthy culmination of Internet rage-reviewing from its roots with the Angry Video Game Nerd in the mid-2000s to now. Up until this point the rage-review has become sort of an absurdity; it’s been done so many times by so many people that it’s lost its edge. Scream at the camera, send forth a storm of cuss words, etc.

    But the monologue about your younger years growing up with Ultima followed by you spontaneously throwing the books and game boxes across the room confirmed it: this is not just a game – this is personal. This is your childhood.

    I stopped paying attention to the TGWTG/BT reviews and community mostly because everything became formulaic, and especially since the LordKaT drama soured relations to an all-time low (as a former contributor to his website, I no longer watch his material anymore as a result). I know life has not been a picnic for you. But I thank you sincerely for keeping everything genuine and sincere. Every single one of your videos is well worth the wait.

    Best wishes.

  • http://twitter.com/Das_Bass Das_Bass

    Was that the Fallout gun?

  • http://www.facebook.com/jluis0 José Luis

    This is the Citizen Kane of reviews.

    Nothing will ever be the same, you took the classic, simple and methodic internet review and turned into a form of art.

    No viewer will be satisfied with the typical raunchy and slapstick humor reviews anymore, we know that something better is out there.

    Take a bow noah… you deserve it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1442290943 Derek Thomas


  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1442290943 Derek Thomas

    Spoonys like a bouncy ball. His video’s quality may fall, but he bounces right back up. Often twice as high! :D

  • jef_bod

    I really hope that Richard Garriott and all the soulless, profit-hungry corporate hacks at EA see this series of reviews, just so they know just how much they shat on their fan base. Your recounting your childhood memories of UItima mirrors the experiences of myself and so many other people of our generation. And the last line? Just awe-inspiring. Your trek through the Ultima series has been as emotionally engaging as it has entertaining.You’re a man who has stared into the Stygian blackness of the Abyss, and conquered it. The Spoony One truly has shown himself to be a paladin worthy of Avatarhood.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Christian-Bonde-Andersen/100000279848355 Christian Bonde Andersen

    Wow, this last chapter was impressive. The finale was so well written and well acted that I honestly got worried if Spoony even would continue making reviews, although the teaser in the end gave me hope again :) I say Spoony, I really appreciate that you do this, and I hope that your health doesn’t cause you too much trouble any longer. Best regards!

  • http://twitter.com/endirasae Laura SoL Campbell

    This review had more endings than Ascension did. ;)

  • Ghoul_Aid

    Now this, my friends, is a review. Holy balls! What a way to end an already amazing series. My hat off to you, Spoony.

  • http://www.facebook.com/petr.stransky.144 Petr Stránský

    Spoony just won the #1 place among the internet reviewers, I’m speechless.

  • http://www.facebook.com/james.sellers.315 James Sellers

    I’m sorry for you pain, Noah. I actually, really am. It isn’t the same, but I felt a lot of that pain when Mass Effect was ruined by EA’s vile touch (btw, I really appreciated the ME3 tracks you used). It hurt a lot, because I cared, and because I keep caring, I keep hurting. But it’s worth it to care, Noah. I’d be dead inside if I didn’t care.

    As always, you continue to prove your worth in your videos, and those last few minutes of the review contained some of the best acting I’ve ever seen, period. The Experiment truly is a success, and you’ll always have a fan in me. Promise.

  • http://twitter.com/ladydiskette Christine Dean

    “Your knowlege of the land shall be great-!” Yeah my ass it will -____-

    At least in Fallout 2 when they had to do those expository questions it was more of a “Refreash my memory” or “How long has that been going on?” or even have a relative of a old Fallout character explain it to you. It made it plausible and believable because your character was a descendent of the Vault Dweller from the 1st game. So time passed long enough for people/places to change over the course of time. And you just wanted to know if it was the same place you had remembered from stories of your ancestor. At least they don’t even have your Fallout2 character ask what the hell a “Water Chip” is. Because is the key focal point of your village history and you know that already.

    But the way the Avatar goes about getting information. Just makes him come off as a moron!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Badre-El-Amir-Bally/728865437 Badre El Amir Bally

    Wow, Spoony, you really cared for this series and to watch it be ruined like that must’ve been really heartbreaking, I actually that there were plans for a 10th game and it even had a teaser but that was canceled, that might have been for the best since the franchised suffered enough already.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mursa-ArtDragon/100001067306478 Mursa ArtDragon

    I know how it feels to have a memory of something treasured from your child hood twisted and corrupted, turned into something ugly and broken. I hope those eyes were makeup, but it really didn’t look like it.

    Also fuck that shit with Dupre. That crap pisses me off not just for the inconsistency but it makes his sacrifice cheapened, losing the impact of such a selfless act! You can tell they just didn’t care. with all that you pointed out, you would have to try and get it that wrong. It can’t be an accident! I mean even if they read the cliff notes, that’s like rolling ones for an entire campaign.

    I hope this review got those scars out of your soul spoony.

  • Nhia Thao

    …man… this just breaks my fucking soul.This just reminds me how I felt when ff13 came out, these characters in ff13 are all forgetable and doesnt have the essence of the games… I remember how back then in ff7 my brother would name RedXIII my actual name and made me the main attacker because of his bad ass limit break (with the moon and stuff and all u saw was the silhouette of the beast) and my brother would do the same to my oldest brother and he would become barret(He got replaced by vincent LOL)…
    In all seriousness though i appreciate that my bro did that, especially when i got older and was exposed to rpgs, he gave me that exact copy that was given through MY OTHER OLDER brother, it felt like passing on a torch and not just that, my bro would guide me on what i should do, which materia i should build up first, don’t use bio on mechs because thats pretty fucking stupid…with FFXIII now its all just moody characters trying to be 2edgy4me and playing-itself gameplay…

    Side Note: btw i actually talked to my brothers about aeris dying… none of us get why that was supposedly the saddest moment in gaming… aeris was in love with zack…wtf?

    TLDR: had same feeling as spoony when i played FFXIII

    FF7 was the first game i played and had crazy as fuck characters,the setting wasn’t much fantasy but had an awesome adventure, and badass gameplay which was new.

    FFXIII had bland characters, auto playing gameplay, felt soo bored walking… and more walking…

  • Patrick mcauliffe

    Its funny that WoW would be used as an example for players following and caring about rpg plot, because it’s my Ultima, my white whale. That game betrayed its fan base so hard and shows so much fucking disrespect for warcrafts fans that it not even laughable.

  • http://www.facebook.com/rachel.riley.902 Rachel Riley

    *closes jaw* I was amazed by the end of the Ultima series. The story of Spoonys brother was heart warming, and really explained the sentimentality attached to the series, and I almost didn’t catch the ME3 reference until the screen went green, making me rewind and watch again and burst out laughing. This was brilliantly done and one of the reasons why I follow him more than any other video game reviewer.
    I never seriously played video games, I was a dabbler, Mass Effect was one of the two series I got seriously attached to (the other was Dragon Age), so the original ending to it felt like a slap in the face. I thought I did something wrong, missed something, and left me feeling confused…and then angry.
    However, Ultima sounds like just a big insult due to watching it degrade over the years.

  • Segatron

    That was put together in a most epic way. You just made me mad at myself for all the chances I now realize I had to be awesome to my own brother! I thought I was a relatively nice guy, but right now I feel like a heel, and a big one at that.

    Tell Miles he did okay, and congratulations for slogging through this thing…

    There have been a lot of bad games, and a lot of funny LPs… but this whole EA ultima trilogy bit was just depressing. (even Serpent Isle had some unfinished bits that ranged from spoiler dialogue to needing to reload a save).

    I heard some people were reworking the textures and redoing the voices as a fan project. But it’s pretty clear that the wounds go deeper than a mere band-aid can fix.

    As for reboots, I’s say reboot those three games in a heartbeat, not number IV, but this is still EA we are talking about. They are not going to make a big effort to admit a mistake, let alone fix it.

    Oh well, I’m preaching to the choir here, at least we have front row seats to the end of the world.

  • http://www.facebook.com/mark.mcguire.5494 Mark Mcguire

    look how tired and unhealthy he looks, you need to get your life into focus and stop forcing yourself to do something you don’t care about

    • http://twitter.com/MichaelCWells Michael Wells

      Mark I do believe that is make up. Which explains why its running down his face at the end. the idea is that he is just so beaten down by this game its wearing him out by how bad it is. Check his Vlog about the trip to Ireland or the Batman movie he looks fine in those.

  • http://www.facebook.com/foster.daviessmith Foster Davies-Smith

    Guys need I remind you that all of this is in story. Which the whole thing with Sephiroth and the Guardian is as well. Spoony or rather Noah is a mature adult in his 30s, he’s mentally balanced and it took Breaking Dawn and a crap ton of real life problems to hurt him recently, and I daresay he’s gotten over it.

    Furthermore he’s already killed himself in story. Need I remind you of Final Fantasy 8? Or how he topped himself with final fantasy 10 then went further for 10-2 with a twist? This is him going even further and writing further and more fully. He’s probably planning some big averting Armageddon story with Final Fantasy 13 to temporary kill himself again and take a short vacation then get right back to it because he’s doing this for the art. He loves doing this. He’s making money by doing what he loves. He’s not going to stop until he absolutely has to.

    Still Spoony this is the first post I’ve ever put on your sight and I must say that you’ve only gotten better as I’ve watched and I can’t wait to see how high you can go. Best of luck Noah. You made highschool bearable and whenever you post something new it makes my day.

    Thank you.

  • suol

    This was definitely a timely review. With all the delays and setbacks that caused this one to take so long, I think it was actually a good thing to have happened. Why?

    Mass Effect 3.

    For a lot of people, this game marks one of the biggest disappointments EVER in video games. Maybe THE biggest if you’re too young to have played the Ultima series or see Final Fantasy go down the drain. And most people couldn’t understand WHY. They were so caught up in the total betrayal of lore, logic and consistency that they couldn’t really see what happened.

    Now that the dust has settled and Bioware has decreed there will be no further additions to the endings, people can turn here and see that it was not the first time EA has totally ruined a beloved franchise for the sake of sales and deadlines. They can see how there was actually something far WORSE than what happened with Mass Effect.

    So thank you, Spoony, for taking so long to finish this review. No sarcasm, no feints with this comment. I truly believe it was meant to be.

    • doresh

      This is my saying as well:

      Pissed off about the ME3 ending? At least the rest of the game was great.
      Now imagine how the game would be if the WHOLE thing was like the ending (multiplying it by at least 3), and you’re just starting to understand the horror that is Ultima IX…

      But to be fair, there’s still a chance that the inevitable ME4 will be the current gen’s answer to Ultima IX, seeing how EA only got started messing around…

      • Jared Fullyfisted

        Mass Effect 3 is also just falling short of two games of build-up. Not… ten or so (depending on how you cut it) in a series that had gone on for nearly two decades (!) by that stage..

  • Tyke

    Fcukin hell, dude. How do you keep getting better? You’ve made me so happy on a day when I really needed happiness.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jean-Francois-Glaude/665595468 Jean-Francois Glaude

    What movie is at around 5:00 ? (The guy dying saying thank you very much ?)

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Chris-Behellmorph-Beckett/100001737277871 Chris Behellmorph Beckett

    It has been a good ride, watching all of these reviews of the Ultima games. Thank you very much Spoony. The best part was when you were simply talking about your first experience with the series.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Jupe20 Jussi Kurki

    I can’t stop watching this review! Is so awesome

  • Daniel Thomas Stack

    Busy Week, Thank you for including the Real historic origin of a Paladin in the end there. So Sephiroth is still using that Black Materia. Does our world have a self sacrificing Aeris to counter it? And why would this be done without a Local Jenova? Looking forward to the continuation of the Story Arc especially since Burton’s altered programming still hasn’t come into play enough yet.

  • http://twitter.com/KingSorbo Kevin King

    I felt the same way about this series. Started with III (my brother, who was 8 years older, introduced it to me), fucking loved IV and V, developed antipathy with VI, (although I went back and played I and II), and never played any sequels after that (although that was mainly due to me not having a powerful enough PC). I hear so many bad things about IX, I’m not sure I even want to play VII, VII-2 (year, that’s right, Square stole this from Origin), or VIII.

    I feel for Spoony in this video. I’m wondering if he’ll ever do a piece on the “alternate” story that was suppose to be the Ultima IX story (where Britannia is destroyed).

  • http://www.facebook.com/benjamin.keen2 Benjamin Keen

    In part three, what is the music that started playing around 4 and a half minutes in?

    • Segatron

      Found it, It’s called “All is Well” from the 2002 movie “Bubba Ho-tep” which is also where the movie clip came from. I think I’ll check it out, seems pretty cool.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Donny-Young/100000096810075 Donny Young

    After reading so many other peoples responses I wanted to leave my own as well.

    I had very much enjoyed the review of the Ultima series. How you gave it praise buy griped at little things. Then when Pagan came along it was hatred and then 9 it was all out emotional lose. When silence hit with Dupre announcing his return of life, I knew it had all gone south. The story was moving and gave me a lot to think about.

    I am an older brother of ten years. Growing up I did not really like having my little brother around for any X reason on any day. But I would feel bad, tell myself to mature and play with him. Every time we played together it felt great. Sharing an experience like that with someone you grow up with is fantastic. While my brother and I share different game tastes and did not have a go out like you and Miles did with Ultima, the story gave me perspective on other things we have done. With that it shows how much things can be ruined for just the wrong reasons.

    I want to thank the commentors though for the insight on ME3. I was not much interested in the game and when I heard it had a bad ending, I felt sorry that a great story arc ended so poorly. But it’s true, if perhaps just partially. All the things we love and want to see grow come to a bad end. Diablo 3 was a dissapointment to me. Dragon Age 2 was a flop. Lost ended horribly. The SAW movie series. I’m sure there is more but meh.

    Even with the departure of good things in our lives, we can still at least treasure the memories of the past to push us on into the future. Regardless of the stain Ultima 9 has put on them.

  • http://www.facebook.com/kissemjolk Cassie Bayer

    I never played an Ultima game ever. And the ending, when they resurrected Dupré? Yeah, I shat myself. I could not believe that they would actually pull that sort of bullshit. Undoing a sacrifice makes the sacrifice in vain… it was never really necessary. You set this review up brilliantly for that final scene. You masterfully crafted your review to ensure that everyone knew just how important Dupré was, and just how deeply emotional his sacrifice was, and how important that it should be.

    Masterful work.

  • inheritedhell

    So… is Noah planning to quit this series? There’s something about this video that doesn’t sound right…

  • http://www.facebook.com/marta.resagalvan Marta Resa Galvan

    You know… don’t be so hard on the Avatar for not knowing what a paladin is. Is n ot his fault. You see, on his return from Pagan, he contracted a weird disease that only affect titans. Knowing that in his diseased state he’d be unable to confront the Guardian, the Avatar rushes to Earth, and tries to find a cure for his illness, but it takes him too long, and by then, his mind has suffered so much that has degraded itself to a very dim level.

    All the inconcistencies in the game are explained by this ilness making you have corrupted memories, which are the ones you got from the previous games. See, none of that happened EXACTLY that way. I mean, flying into space? Of course that memory is corrupted.

    I mean, if you want a impromptu retcon, THAT is much more beliavable than this crappy game.

  • snowball_is_precious

    While I never played any Ultima game, I do understand the frustration and pain of a beloved franchise, full of memories, being spat on. I was a child of the 1990′s and was a hardcore fangirl of Sonic the Hedgehog. I would bring friends over to play with me, then go outside and pretend we were in the game. This was especially precious to me as an only child – I considered my friends my siblings. My friends and I would make comics and create stories surrounding the characters. The franchise got me drawing shitty fanart, and then eventually I developed a serious interest in art as a whole. I am currently going to college so one day I can go into game development. As I grew older my interests expanded, but a huge part of me to this day is a raging Sonic fangirl. We are building our first home and I found Sonic wall decals – you bet your lucky socks they are going on the walls in the living room or kitchen!

    When you gathered your books and threw them, I got it. I completely 100% understood the frustration, the anger, the disappointment, the sadness. I see where the Sonic franchise has been for the past 10 years and it makes me angry. Yes, it’s just a game, but I cared about the characters in the 16-bit games. Those games shaped who I am as an adult on countless levels and represent hours of fun and joy with my friends. These games being slapped together with the Sonic tag on them are an insult to my memories and an insult to what made me who I am today. It’s like going back to your childhood home and finding it in ruins – why did no one love the home after you left?

    I’ve enjoyed watching all your reviews – I have no idea what the drama was on TGWTG but all I know is that you are one of the best internet reviewers out there. Keep up the good work!

  • http://twitter.com/TheWerebunny Werebunny

    Holy crap you are amazing, Spoony. I mean God DAMN.

  • aroihkin

    I actually rewatched the “THAT’s a paladin” part immediately after the first time, and I don’t normally do that with anyone’s reviews.

    Fucking brilliant. :D

  • http://www.facebook.com/jonathan.puccetti Jonathan Puccetti

    Your the best Spoony, I love your reviews and I think this might be the best of any of them. Your counter monkey videos are what made me want to be a DM for my friend group. Thank you for everything and I hope you keep doing what you do best. Don’t let the world get you down.

    Strength and Honor,

    -a fan

  • http://www.facebook.com/sebastian.chum.5 Sebastian Chum

    Best review I saw. Comprehensive, personal, emotional, to the point… I had to watch the ending at least three times already, the paladin punchline is so bad ass! Go write a book at last!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/alexandra.schotteliasson Sawako Schött Eliasson

    Can´t believe I didn´t watch this until today, amazing job man!

  • DoIHaveYouAttention? :)


  • http://www.facebook.com/derrick.bird1 Derrick Bird

    I don’t know what to say about this finale. “Good job and keep up the good work” isn’t sufficient. I don’t think I’ve seen you pour that much emotion into a review before. We all care for you, Spoony. Not everybody posing on your website is a heartless troll.

  • http://www.facebook.com/mark.mclean.792 Mark McLean

    This shit right here makes me think. It makes me think really hard about what a video game is, and what it means to people. It makes me think about something that long-running that’s been such an integral part of so many people’s lives, and how we should really be treating it. It makes me think about games nowadays, and how it seems like they’re following a formula. Make a game about this that does that and looks like this and people will pay for it. This whole Ultima retrospective deal has sort of shown what that does when taken to the furthest extreme. They took a bland and honestly not very good rpg-esque thing, added some crowbar morality, tossed in some terms and characters from previous games, came up with some generic designs, and said “Alright here it is, now where’s our money?”

  • http://freefilesync.sourceforge.net/ Zenju

    Just brilliant… and you didn’t even need to resort to the outro ear fuck at the end of U9.

  • http://twitter.com/rianvoss Rian Voß

    Thank you for this. I have never been interested in the Ultima games and I probably never will be enough to play them, but your videos are beyond that motion. They are at the same time entertaining, educating and emotional. The finale of this retrospective was so amazing, I felt as involved as I only do with those few favorite games which I invest loads of time and focus into and which reward everything I have done at the end. The retrospective was lengthy, at times silly, at times nitpicky, mostly enjoyable but the last few minutes I spent watching you pull a gun on the Guardian was so intense, I will probably remember this for the rest of my life. If I were ever asked, what a work of significance and passion to me was, I wouldn’t answer with a title of a video game. I wouldn’t name a movie. I wouldn’t mention a book or a painting. I would say that there is a documentation by a man called Spoony, who put his very essence into describing the joy, hatred and betrayal he felt for something that made him how he is. It shows how small stones can create large ripples and how things that are seemingly insignificant to one can be a big deal to others. And it is so very, very human.

  • Watcher

    Spoony man…you look like shit. What’s goin on…

  • http://www.facebook.com/ben.lykins2 Ben Lykins

    look like alice cooper when your holding the revolver

  • http://www.facebook.com/vasi.dean Vasi Dean

    What If ? Richard Garriot trough some subtle way tried to introduce a 9th Virtue in the series :D :)) I’m just having fun but it’s ridiculous. The 9th one being Tolerance as in the 9th game is so horrible on so many levels that it’s actually a test for the Player trough the Avatar to tolerate all the many lackluster elements of the game so the player would reach …. ASCENSION (troolface ) :))

  • http://www.facebook.com/Farshnuke Gordon Jones

    I first came to the Spoony Experiment after having seen the Spoony’s Jyhad Counter Monkey video. What was so powerful about that for me was how real it was and how the optimistic and enthusiastic Spoony changed through the horrors he had experienced to destroy those he was once so keen to get along with.

    This Ultima Retrospective follows a similar arc but because of its length and the real life subtext suggested by the comments is so much more effective. Yes it all ends with Spoony talking to himself with the help of special effects but as a viewer you believe entirely because you’ve seen how the mighty have fallen. The last line takes the prize though because it works on so many levels. It’s not just ‘This is a badass pre-mortem one liner’. It and the lines leading up to it are basically ‘Yeah, I’ve been fucked but I’ve been fucked before so I’m not giving up’. Which even after just reading some of the comments about what particular fucking that might be referring to is something I am very glad about. ‘That is a paladin’ indeed.

    Also on a side note I am so glad Spoony is doing the Counter Monkey series, after having gone back to watch his Final Fantasy reviews and this retrospective, because as badass as the finales are and as awesome and funny as the reviews themselves are it is just so nice to know that Spoony gets to make money from telling stories he loves while cuddling his adorable dog. It’s like the perfect happy ending.

  • Michael Sunseri

    man at 14:00 in part 4 you can actually see Spooneys soul shatter like a plate glass window being hit by a brick. I felt that way when i Played CnC Red alert 3. and when i played Mass Effect 3. Wow that is three franchises that EA has ass fucked. Oh and there are plenty more.

  • http://www.facebook.com/taylor.w.hardy Taylor William Hardy

    “that’s a paladin.” gets to me every time.

  • http://twitter.com/PenHellbourne Tim Edgren

    is the red around your eyes makeup or did you go without sleep or rub the hell out of your eyes or what? Because the harrowed look on your face is just perfect.

    • Tab

      He has a nervous disorder called vasodepressor syncope. He wasn’t doing so well health-wise because of it for a long time, though he’s doing much better now. Check the About section of the site for more info.

  • http://www.facebook.com/kevin.arehart.5 Kevin Arehart

    “dude” thats how i felt with “Fable” 2 & 3.

  • Tenbux

    Yes! I guessed the lighthouse reward on my first try. To be fair, I know EA well and immediately expect the worst from them.

  • The Janitor

    He did a pretty good job.

  • Cellidor

    My face when I say “100 gold!” and that’s -actually- what the reward is.

    Either I’m psychic, or I have a mind similar to those at EA.

  • Matt Morgan

    Can someone please tell me what that Elvis clip thingy was from? I’ve always wondered that

    • Domonic Giorgetti

      Bubba Ho-Tep. Bruce Campbell film. I thought it was good, but no Army of Darkness.

  • Ashley Norway Thompson

    I’m pretty sure it’s from this. It’s a great film.


  • Adrian Kazakov

    Spoony, for every final fantasy VIII, X, XIII, XIII-2 there is a Mother 3 out there, and it is worth living just for that!

  • Dudley

    Man, stop using Springboard.

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