Cap’s back to take down Miguel, a bioterrorist with a new deadly chemical weapon that can age you to death in a matter of weeks! But could it possibly age you any faster than this awful movie does?
Why did I not foresee Bandit Keith showing up somewhere in this review?
I was like, HOLY SHIT…IN AMERICA!
Well done sir. Reb is tha MAN!
keep it up!
Anyone else notice who the purse snatcher’s wheel man was driving? Looked like he was driving Speed Buggy! The little orange dune buggy. All it was missing was the big roll bar on the back.
I am just amazed. All you guys act like they did not do Captain America justice. Are you kidding me? Just taste the name of that super-hero. Let it roll of the tounge. Captain America. Because Super Heroes Comes From America.
Aaaameeeriiicaaa Aaaameeeriicaaaaa, America! Fuck Yea! We come and save the mother fucking day Yea!
Thruth be told, I have never read any Captain America comics. But really, it is so obviously a Stan Lee creation contracted by your army to help give some boost in the cold war. A bit of ficticious heroism in the name America.
I think that the concept that a dude actually makes a spandex dress out of your flag, takes a name of captain america. Throws around a shield, that when worn would cut his flesh as soon as a proper kick was deflected.
He also has some Gaelic wings on his helmet.
All of these points are fair to bring forth. they are so obvious that it makes me sick the army would even try it. But for some reason, it works. He battles all the “evils” america has faced. I have not checked, but I am certain that there is a comic when he slaughters the comunistic pig-children in Vietnam, or something similar.
I am going to make a comic character myself. It is Second Lieutenant Sweden, and his trusty side-kick General French (Yes, spelling is correct, pun intended). Second Lieutenant Sweden uses a pair of blond boobs, and General French beats them with a Baguette and stabs them with his super-future-metal moustache. Yes, it is removable, and it removes General French(people)’s enemies with a Magical precision not unlike the godly powers of thor.
That Captain America is so popular is just another example why the rest of the world (minus your colony Israel) wonders if it is such a good thing to allow you guys control of nukes.
I know you understand the pathetic mess that is Captain America somewhere deep down in your souls. I know you are far more intelligent than you act. Come on, this movie is a good representation of Captain America. This is what the comic is, no doubt about it. Rip on the movies, but dont act like captain america is in the least bit cool. I really hated those super-hero comics for the very reason that Captain America represents. Spiderman is atleast cool, and the hulk was angry as hell. The first comic anti-hero really (even though he was depicted with a heart of gold. He is american after all).
Sorry, I do not meen to gank on the US. But Captain America? Really?
You admit you’ve never read the comics. And you obviously never did any research. Captain America was made by Jack Kirby, not Stan Lee, and he was made during WW II, not the Cold War. The fact that you can’t even bother to do any research before bashing the fuck out of something makes you a) an asshole, b) a fucktard, c) retarded. And that’s not multiple choice. Also, I’m Canadian, not American, so it’s not like I have some vested interest in defending Cap. Maybe go do some research on a topic before you go slagging off, next time. Your anti-American bias is showing.
If the stuff makes people age at 31 days an hour, it would take him a couple of weeks to die of old age, not Dorian Gray it in half a second!
“This looks like a job for… The proper authorities!”
Lol that part had me going for awhile. Great job Spoony. I can't believe there were movies that actually made me miss such stellar titles as Robowars and Strike Commando.
FINALLY, a good use for “They triiiiied to kill me with a forklift!!” Love the review man, hilarious as always, Oh Spoony One.
What, you mean you don´t have flying and teleporting pumas in America?! ;-)
Bandit Keith F.T.W. Great to see LK, it was an awesome surprise, and a great way to cap off the reviews. It also puts you back on track with the whole blag hole thing that pumpkinhead derailed. Look forward too more fmv hell!
While your on doing crappy super hero movies Spoony. Please do a review on the Fantastic 4 movie that was made but never released due to how awful it was. I still have laugh at the DR DOOM costumer from that movie.
I can see it now in the creative meeting.“People want Captain America to remind them of the President.”“Carter?”“Exactly! Jimmy Carter, Super Hero! Book it!”Everything about these movies has a sense of malaise. The hair, the clothes, the panel vans, the easy listening music. Leif Garrett would have been more suitable to play Captain America in this movie.
Wielding plastic shields for great justice…IN AMERICA!
Seriously, these movies are old shame incarnate. I can't imagine anyone actually watching them, comic fan or not, and enjoying the “heroics”
Amazing that Reb Browns career survived those two shitbombs.
Too funny….I especially love how those dogs bend the hell out of that Plexiglas piece of *bleep* 'shield' of his.Love ya, Spoonster :)
The GateKeither? Yu-Gi-Oh review coming up?
And man, as a Captain America fan you can see how they keep dropping the ball on the character film-wise, especially in this movie. Seriously, Reb Brown's Cap can't throw straight, expects his shield to hit somebody on recoil, and can't even drive his motorcycle correctly over a barricade?
Now I'm kinda fearing what's gonna happen to Cap in the 2012 movie
Well, he could also review the last one. It sucks too.
Another great review and while this move seems, 'better', if thats the right word to use in such an unusual situation, the movie still sucks 80s movie's Balls. And 'Death too soon'? 'Death Not Soon Enough' would have been much more appropriate
Something I thought I'd never see, a reference to YGO abridged.
God this series sucks
Good afternoon Spoony and fellow Spooners.
1. That recycled intro reminds me of the intro to the comedy “Foul Play”. I can just picture Reb Brown carpooling with Goldie Hawn while Barry Manilow sings in the background. (and if any of you say anything bad about Barry Manilow, I WILL END YOU)2. “This looks like a job for…the proper authorities.” I damned near lost it when Spoony did that. Though, if Cap had taken the job himself (and circumvented the law), Spoony would have gone after him for THAT too. Spooned if you do, Spooned if you don’t.3. About Cap’s see-through shield…transparent aluminum, perhaps? Okay, I'm stretching, but they had to make the thing transparent FOR A REASON, right?4. Why doesn’t Cap throw the shield STRAIGHT AHEAD? Yeah, you want to show off the boomerang-aspect, but you do that by having Cap try to hit someone around a corner or something.5. Y’all realize that Spoony’s outfit probably cost way less than the movie’s, and yet looked way better, right? Maybe it's like technology, how it always starts off ridiculously expensive, then a couple of years later you can get it for a third of the original cost.
I'm glad they did the same theme as the previous one. Imagine they had taken the 1966 cartoon series main theme (with lyrics really representing the main character's attitude):“When Captain America throws his mighty shield (into random directions far, far away from the seemingly intended target),All those who chose to oppose his shield must yield (if it is convenient for the story, otherwise they just duck out of the way).If he’s led to a fight and a duel is due (which is never true)Then the red and white and the blue’ll come through (if he really, really, really has to).When Captain America throws his mighty shield (into some random direction).”
(Don't know what I am talking about? I'm talking of the following tune: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lM7tSU2UFe0 )
“just a second, dont move now… i didnt move when you threw the shield at me” Noah, you deserve so much more credit than most comedians.
long live the spoony one!
It is confirmed…sequels can sometimes be better then the original…espcially since the frist one is a pile of boring shit…However this one is still a pile of boring shit, except it was a smaller pile of shit with a few awesome bits like Christopher Lee.But you know what would've made a better villian? Tim motherfucking Curry. Yeh, that would've been awesome….
And wow, you got Little Kuriboh for your next review? DAYUM!
WTF Do all my internet loves know each other, I mean i swaer if i made a chart or all my internet loves yalll all be connected some how. I mean spoony knows Darks maze wich works on Newgrounds and works with a number of voice over there who also works with little karbo whos now just apeared on he show and who also helps team 4 star DX uggg my head hurts!!!
I'd far rather watch than the Superman movies tbh.
Man, Reb Brown sucks…IN AMERICA.
re: Park Caricaturist. In the comics, Cap actually is a skilled and talented artist. In fact, there are stretches where he was the regular penciler of his OWN COMIC BOOK. (In one issue, he leaves in revolt when one story goes too dark for him, so the story is finished by “someone else,” and a fake editorial is written poking fun at “Roger Stevens,” his pen name for leaving.
Honestly, at least there is action in this one, adding in the costume looks closer to the comics now, thank god.
I was surprised in the first movie, he didn't show that scene from Predator 2 where the guy gets sliced in half by the deathdisc as a way to show how the scene should've been better.
They couldn't even put a sound effect to make the shield AT LEAST sound heavy! or threatening. ha!
ZOMFG!!!! I cant wait for the next episode, Spoony! Two of my favorite things, Teh Spoony One and Yu-Gi-Oh! Abridged. ^_^ Cant wait
mmmmnn, Christopher Lee… his voice is so orgasmic…
Awesomeness Spoony! Any review with “He tried to kill me with a forklift” AND Christopher Lee is just a bag of amazing. I can't wait for the next review.
As soon as I saw the forklift on screen I knew what was coming, and I still laughed my ass off.
Can't wait to see what's next, especially with Little Kuriboh involved.
Wow. Didn't expect this to lead into another review. But who will play 63 Spoony?
So 38 days every hour… Let's say Miguel got a x20 dose from that small bottle, that's just over two years in an hour. What, did he only have to week to live?
At the risk of defending this thing, much like “Riding With Death”, this was cobbled together from a TV Series, and they didn't put a lot of budget into superhero shows until maybe somewhere in the late 80's. (I point thee to Spider-Man or Adventures of Superman.) So there was little possibility of them making something close to the comics.
Then again, he's superstrong and carries a shield. Not a whole lot of budget compared to clinging to wall and web swinging. I guess I just have a stronger constitution with this stuff. 6.5 years of my life was stuck in the '70's. (Thankfully all at once. :) )
Was this review amazing? … The ocean says yes.
That's our Captain America folks! He defeats his villains by waiting for them to die of old age… yep. But seriously, if the dogs were given an O.D. like Christopher Lee then shouldn't they have keeled over by the time they reached the door. Or was “Mango” too kind and jeered the Lee-mans orders and just said sick-em.Also, I still can't get over that a super enhanced marine was being choked to death, and almost lost, by a bio-terrorist chemist who was an old man made into an older old man… wow.
Maybe in some crazy science techno babel, Christopher walkin’s character suffered arthritis and his hands locked up around capt’s neck causing less blood to go to his arms and making capt. weaker. I highly doubt it but that is the best i can think of. Though his fight with the dogs was worse though, He barely pushed them back. Maybe he was afraid that PETA would send their own superhero after him.
PETAman! Often confused with Pitaman! (He has a successful restaurant chain in Boise, Idaho). And then the people are disheartened until PETAman’s sidekick “Sexy Naked Hippie Lady” comes and shows off her vegetarian foo.
Also, Christopher Walken is Christopher Lee as Miguel. Awesome! (I know it was a typo, but you know Walken would have won, aged or no).
Well using very rough math and assuming he aged 20 years in about a minute. He must have gotten about 12,000 times the normal dose assuming a direct relationship between dose and effect. Which considering that he got hit by a bottle of the stuff and it was supposed to be administered in vapor, it's not completely illogical that he'd age that quickly. Now, granted, I've probably done more math on this than the writers.
Captain America apparently can't go undercover to save his life or that poor cats. lol Captain America! Using old women as decoys to save the day!
Its a shame Reb Brown were in both of these movies.
… in America.
Holy damn you got Little Kuriboh in on this too. Has there ever been a time when Christopher Lee HASN'T looked old? Now I've seen movies from the 60's and 70's that are good, so I know they can't all have such embarrassing special effects and editing. How did these even get made?
AMERICAN WASTE BLACK FLAG!!!!!
Spoony… How… How did Reb do two movies… Without screaming… I mean… The hell. He's Reb f***ing Brown he screams and does semi-legitimate action scenes. I mean… Damn… What did they do? Get him high before every scene? You'd think he'd tell the director, “Uh hey, mind if I add some emotion here? I mean, that is what I do ya know?”
That is still better than the one that they had.
Hell this was the 1980's for fudge sake. They made songs around one sentence in the 80's. Look at “Thundercats” who's entire lyrics are composed of two sentences: “Thunder! Thunder! Thundercats ho!” and “Thundercats are on the loose, Thundercats are loose. Feel the magic, hear the roar, Thundercats are loose.” followed by repeating the words “Thundercats” in various stages of completion.
They didn't even phone in the music for these movies. Hell I have heard livelier tunes in elevators.
Take the lyrics to the 1966 series, update the music with some heavy metal guitar riffs (hell bring in Survivor, I am sure they needed the work.) and you'd have a winner.
Is it me or was the whee lman driving Speed Buggy? Looks just like him…
*Sorry if this is a repeat post. Doesn't look like the last one posted
I was thinking the same thing. “Oh no! Speed Buggy’s an accomplice to robbery!”
BLACK FLAG!!!!!! I just came a little. Good review spoonman….how's the foot?
Hey Spoony, did you know that Reb Brown and Christopher Lee was in another movie together called The Howling II: Your Sister's A Werewolf? Just want to bring that up if you (and the fans) might be interested!
ummmmmm, why does Reb Brown's skin turn orange everytime he puts on that costume? Is somthing wrong with my computer???
I love how clearly plastic Captain America's shield is. It moves like a damn frisbee and it sounds like one too when it hits the ground. Did the sound editor bother throwing some clangs or something to make it seem heavy? No.
Wait…Spoony, NC, Linkara, and now LITTLE KURIBOH???? SPOONY YOU FOOL, YOU'RE ABOUT TO CAUSE A RIP IN THE SPACE/AWESOME CONTINUUM!!!! Oh shi–
I love how Lee just stepped aside when CA threw his shield, at least he wasn't a total moron like the first guy.
That was like the funniest comedy I've ever seen. Great job on the commentary and breaking it down Spoony!
I wish you'd shave before doing your review. I don't mind it in the Vlogs as that's casual Spoony but these were proper episodes. Loved them both equally though. :) It was a great payoff after quite a wait. I've never read the comic books so seeing the movies of Captain America either really doesn't do him justice or he's just a lame superhero. I mean the name just sounds dull to me in the first place. “American Frisbee Fighter”, now there is a name I can go with.
This is weird, I had dreams about noah and I drinking coffee with one another and talking bad about movies. That bit with lee towards the end was great. I love that riff on the scene and you should definitely do some more! “Don't move now!”
The shield is so wimpy it almost seems intentional. I lol'ed when Saruman dodges it an it falls at Cap's feet with a pathetic clump.
I had to pause it because the MST3K forklift song had me laughing too hard.I realised where I'd seen the 'Mango' guy before. He was in an early episode of Star Trek:TNG
The thing about Captain Americas' shield is that if he threw it at someone and it hits them in the head, its meant to slice their head off.
I have to hand it to you Spoony, you are so much more calmer than Nolstalgia Critic…He would have gone into insane mode, just like what he did in Battlefield Earth when he finds out that the Psychlos homeworld is covered in radiation and nevr had a single fire that could cause an explosion.
These movies seem to me like they were supposed to be a TV show but didn't make the cut on account of, well, you saw the reviews. But they made a movie anyway and the first one did well in the ratings (because everyone thought it was going to be cool and were wrong) so they made a sequel based on those ratings. But since they had no budget they cut a lot of corners. This is all hypothesis mind you. Again I'm reading way to much into this!
Awesome as always Spoony! CardgamesFTW! Awesome!
Little Kuriboh for world domination!
nice review btw :D
You know what, I just did the calculations for how long you would live if you aged 38 days an hour. If somehow you would live to be 100 years old, through this calculation from birth to death you would only live for 40 days. Go figure.
Why? Christopher Lee WHHHYYY????!!!??!?And I was wondering, is it me or the thug that steals the purse looks like a guy from the Warriors, from the movie of the same name?
you know the super-dude just screams obvious symbolism. I seem to remember another nation that employed this tactic. Symbolism and nationalism. I think there was a dude called Göring in there somewhere. Is there a technoband called NSDAP, or am I mistaken.
Ps, sorry. I have for some reason not been able to sleep for the better part of 3 days. My head hurts, and I need to be at the doctor's in 6 hours.
I marked out. Seriously.
You and me both, brother.
Why, Christopher Lee? Why? I thought he hit the bottom of the barrel with Return from Witch Mountain, but no!
So when you change into Captain America you have to spray a tan on your face? I hate it when someone lobbing frisbees knocks me out.
That's why I play as Iron Man when I play the arcade game.
It was especially visionary of Marvel to create a cold war morale booster during 1940. And the perfect Nazi started out by punching out Hitler and getting involved overseas a year before Pearl Harbor, and thus, was an American fighting Nazis before that was the “thing to do”.
Of course, Batman is a pedo, Wonder Woman is a lesbo with a bondage fetish, and Superman is actually the champion of Facists, but unfortunately someone already picked up on those ideas and put out a book in 1954 called Seduction of the Innocent.
Just wondering to some of you, doesn't your browser spell check your comments for you? Because I'm pretty sure that fashism isn't in any dictionary I've ever seen. Just saying.
well, I did a quick search on the allknowing wikipedia. I realized that I had indeed heard of the name. Seduction of the Innocent has nothing to do with my attacks on Captain America. Soti was just more of the “Rock and roll is the devil music” that is so often associated with christian house-wifes and their campaigns (dont tell me the facts, I just seem to remember wall-mart as caving to one such group, but you all know what I meen here.)
I realize that even mentioning gay-ness in my previous post was very juvinile, though the point still stands. CA is an Arian super-human-soldier who showes of his buffed body in a onestar suit made of junion jack (I seem to remember that is the name of the american flag, or is it jolly roger?)
To drag batman's name in the dirt as a pedo is compleatly uncalled for. All he does is dress to invoke fear, he nurtures his pain like a true whiner, though he is a whiner that can punch. But Captain America is something compleatly different.
I thought it was a rediculous charcature(spelling? sorry, mentally unstable now) when I was 10! And trust me, I am not a smart person. I have no more than 120 IQ. But CA is rediculous. I cannot even see how there can be a character underneath the red white and blue.
It is a badly vield atemt to make America an Action hero. Just admit it. It is nerdy to the extream. It is not visionary, just childish. However, I had no idea that Captain America was such an old figure. I thought CA was way more modern than that. So I do apologize, but it does not excuse CA in any way. Still an Ubermench soldier and a propaganda coup that for some reason is loved. It is beyond me. Since if there actually had been a Lieutenant Norway or General Sweden, and it had actually been made as an honest attempt at propagande, I would just feel insulted that I get such a splotch of crap as a pick me up as soldiers arrest my family in search of dissidents. Rape my mother and sister, then haul me of and calling me a jew. but aparantly I am missing something here, cause 240 million people are not.
I just realized something, the fact that CA WAS created during the second world war is even worse. Fuck Captain America
LittleKuriboh on the Experiment? Does this mean Dr. Insano has devious children's cardgame related SCIENCE! in store for Yugi and his friends?
True, it does. However, it spellchecks the swedish language. Sorry, I am going to change full-time to english. my mistake (just kidding. I know you ment nothing by it) I know I can change it, but hey, I am lazy, and for some reason it has dissapeard from the active-programs-bar in the bottom.
Thankfully you can still understand what I am trying to type. Unless there is a new pear called fashism. No, that is Nashi-pears (I know the delivery on that joke was piss-poor)
Basically, when Cap first came out … all superheroes were pretty one dimensional anyway. Everyone was beating up Nazis or the various other war enemies. It was all propoganda. (Superman once advised people to “Slap a Jap for War Stamps” or something to that effect). Captain America, unlike Superman and Batman, etc, didn't actually stick around very long. He disappeared until Marvel became more of a hit during the Silver Age. When the new heroes started coming out, like Iron Man, Hulk and Thor … they decided to bring Captain America back as a member of the Avengers, in part to tie in to their own history. He wasn't really a big propoganda machine at that point, although he would vary between being a representative of America as a good soldier, and actually going against the government (there was a Watergate type situation in the Marvel Universe, not to mention the recent Civil War thing).
Ultimately while a character may start out as little more than a propaganda piece, that doesn't mean they can't develop over time into something more. And post modernism is fun and all, but while some people intentionally project things into their work (the creator of Wonder Woman was also the inventor of the modern lie detector … thus the lasso of truth), many were not thinking in terms of unintended consequences, such as the partnership of Batman and Robin being unseemly (they just added him to lighten the mood and give readers someone they could more closely relate to). In the case of Captain America … at the time people liked shamelessly pro-American ideas … it wasn't really until Vietnam that people started thinking that it was a bad idea for America to be so full of themselves as it relates to war, etc. And the blonde hair, blue eyed Aryan “ideal” was also a cornfed farm boy, especially back then. At that point in time, all superheroes were snow white. In fact, it was Captain America himself that ended up teaming up with the Falcon, one of the first (if not the first) African American superheroes in mainstream comics.
Most of Cap's credibility comes from what he's done since his inception. It isn't about the original concept, because he was just one of MANY heroes getting on the bandwagon of trying to replicate the success of Superman and Batman, and having a guy just come out and take on Hitler (saying “we should be fighting Nazis” a year before they actualy did) seemed to work for a while, but he wasn't as good at taking on the Commies, people lost interest in him then.
Yes, but it is a comic about a fictional dress-up character called CAPTAIN AMERICA… fuck yea!
No matter how many diamonds you hang on a pig, it is still a pig in diamonds. I am not contradicting the value of a comic like Captain America at the time. But Seriously, to still have it around in 2010. People who like him are naturally entitle to do so. I however have just spent the better part of the night trying to really put into words how horrible a drawing he is. You cannot evolve something with a name like that. Unless ofcourse no-one sees a problem with the name.
But again, I want you to really think about this. Captain America is most know as a propaganda figure that fought Hitler. Do you not think that continuing a character whith any such connections once it became clear what Hitler actually stood for (noone knew untill American forces started invading Germany, atleast, noone officially knew), is an affront to those that actually lived the war? let alone to those familys that where scrubbed out?
It can be argued, but since I think it would be a mistake on my part, I wont argue it. But it could be argued that Captain America is as much of an affront as Muhammed-drawings are to muslim religion. Both ficticious. However, the events of ww2 was a bit more recent than the kabbala (sorry for misspelling, I suck at knowledge of religions)
am I getting the idea across? Is there someone out there who can atleast see my viewpoint of the most disgusting superhero? I love marvel in the right dosages. I do prefer a comic with a story “Gen of hiroshima” springs to mind. Or just the entire Elfquest line. But captain america is just wrong on so many levels.
Hey at least that actor that got hit with the shield tried to make us believe it was something strong. I know it isn't saying much but at least this was an improvement over the last one. I could see this being an episode of a Captain America tv show and I wouldn't have felt so cheated.
“Reb Brown will return”
That text always makes me a very happy man.
Awesome. Out of all your material, I like your Reb Brown reviews the most. Seriously, I can't wait until you do Cage and The Firing Line.
Awesome. Out of all your material, I think I like your Reb Brown reviews the best.
Can't wait until you do Cage or The Firing Line.
Black flag, fuck yeah! Great reviews Spoony!
Can you believe that I was talking to a friend recently who didn't know who Christopher Lee was. Rather than excommunicate them I suggested he watch a Hammer dracula. Thank god I didn't know he did this other wise I would have told him to forget it. My god I thought he had class, what is he doing here? I mean he had to read the script and it's usually a good idea to get a look at the first film to see what your up against.At least it looks like Reb Brown took an acting lesson this time. Only one, and he probably left half way though but that's better than nothing. I salute you Spoony one, once again you survived one of the dullest, boring and al together painful films in existence. Isn't there anything that can kill you?
Looking at the boxart of these two flicks, I just realized there's more action going on there, than in the flicks combined… :D
Awesome review. I just can't believe anyone would make a superhero movie, no matter what wuperhero, and put so little action in it.
Also, just one note about the review of the first movie. I don't know about you, but I don't care if it gives me superpowers, I'd be pissed too if some guy injected me with weird chemicals against my will. I mean come on, people nowadays lose their shit over a variation of flu that is less dangerous than the regular one, but being upset at the idea of having chemicals whose effects are unknown injected in your body is considered whining?
But again, it's just a detail and the reviews were, as usual, hilarious, and Spoony once again showed he has a lot more common sense than Hollywood.
I like your reviews man.. seriously thank you for the hours of entertainment! I voted in the tweet thing too!
My one comment/request is that you make the credits roll FASTER basically. It looks amateurish the way they hang there on screen for a little bit too long really..
Daniel (from Britain)
… So the bad guy jumped out of his worklift and knocked himself out while doing so? Damn, love these action scenes!
You do realize the character's most recent storylines revolve around him starting an armed rebellion against the U.S. government, right? Because the U.S. in the Marvel Universe has devolved into an authoritarian state (complete with concentration camps where unlicensed supers are held indefinitely without formal charges)?
He's basically the embodiment of the American ideal of “love your country and it's core principles of individual freedom and responsibility, distrust the government and resist when it is in the wrong.” That would have to make him the worst example of a propaganda character ever, if that was still how they used him.
Yea, I know. And I understand that evolving CA was a must. Americans today are not as fixed as you once where. I am not attacking the US of today, nor even CA of today, because frankly, I am not a Comic-book hero fan in the least (except the spiderman-cloning story a few years ago). I just think it strange that a character was created to cartoonize what ww2 was. I can understand why there was a role for a CA comic at the time, but I can never condone.
To me, he represents “the pot calling the kettle black” and in such an obvious way that it is beyond me why he was reinstituted as a saviour and a hero once more. The only explanation for such a thing as a comic DURING ww2 was really that American soil was never really threatened. War was somewhere else. Americans could switch off the war in a way that Norwegians, french or English simply could not do. To them, there was nothing cool about the war, the early occupations, nor hitting Hitler in the FACE. Thankfully I my self have never had to experience anything remotly like it. Not even bad gang-society when I grew up. But consider what life was like at the time. We all know and accept the horrors of war for a soldier. Consider how it was for the familys just trying to make a life under the yoke of nazis. A cartoon like that is for children who does not understand the brutality of reality.
I have never heard the American Ideal expressed like that. But beyond that CA is a representation of the mistake of all Power-Countries throughout histroy. The french still consider their culture to be superior, they even consider their language to be the epitome of communication. I agree that it has a certain grace that is a creadit to the culture that brought it to life. And I like how the english language quickly removes redundant barriers and allows it to flow more logical and even. English is an easy language to learn for just that reason, and it still carries alot of weight in simple constructions. I am not contradicting why a Power-country took the throne.
But it is a mistake, such a hughe one that it will eventually kill the evolution of that culture. french culture has been stagnated for a long time, even though it was a few hundred years ago the reason for cultural evolution. Now it is a pretencious heap for the “club of internal admiration”. And I cannot see that America would be in any way different.
The fact that you like a comic-book character that really portrays the blond american man as genetically superior is to me an indication of just this error. Now, The tone of this line of posting has changed. At first I was just trying to express sarcasm against CA and his fans. So I apologize that I am no longer even trying to make jokes.
As to the “American Ideal”. It is just so obnoxious to present it as an American ideal. My father is not a wise man, nor very successful. But at times he has told me things I find I consider for years to come.
He once said “never make the mistake of thinking your generation was the first to consider the problems of the world”
If you see the US as the young generation of cultures. Then to me, this generation is making that mistake. I know I personally have made that mistake many times, and I will most probably make that mistake many times more. But I consider each of those times, and I try my hardest to learn from them. Perhaps that is why I really cannot accept Captain America as anything else then a representation of why I would sometimes just relish the thought of throwing a rotten tomato in the collective face of the US.
Just to make it clear. I am not really Anti American. Even though I am not Amerikan, your culture overshadows every aspect of my life in such a way I cannot help but have an opinion on it. hell, as a norwegian by birth, I get “Happy birth day to you” sung to me when I have lived yet another year. It is sung in english, by norwegians, in norway, with no one around that speaks english as a first language. That tells you something, does it not.
Well, done and done. I will not be returning to post in this line any more. I have said all I can, hopefully I have given you something to consider. And if any of you would like to discuss Scandinavian culture for what ever reason. I would be glad to do it. But I guess that you know next to nothing about it. Judging by the use of my ancestors god of war as a comic-book character, I really expect little in that department.
Oh, prisoners of war was sacrifiesed to Oden for continued success in the campaign. Which would really make him the god of War. Tor was more of a rebel and a soldier than a god of war.
A couple of notes: first of all, Captain America is genetically modied (which brings up whole other issues, like eugenics) but he wasn’t a corn fed perfect specimen of american male. He was actually a scrawny kid that couldn’t cut it in the army. The super soldier serum made him “perfect”. Being american didn’t make him genetically superior, the serum did. As for Thor/Odin (as the are named in the comics) neither is portrayed as a god of War. Thor is portrayed as God of Thunder, and Odin as the ‘top’ god, ala Zeus.
Thank you, Ranting Swede! ((10 points to those who got that joke))
I remember seeing this movie a loooooooooong time ago, and I remember the part about the cats helping to show the aging thing. It was still pretty stupid though, and both of these Captain America movies pretty much ruined my like of superheroes for a while. I'm glad superhero films have improved since those days.
This video destroyed my brain
Is it just me, or did the guy in the car look like Gary Busey?
I was just wondering why Christopher Lee died in a matter of seconds when he stated earlier that the syrum ages you 35 days and hour?
He got a massive dose. Apparently the serum suffers from oven logic.
What’s really inexplicable is why the AGING SERUM makes the dogs STRONGER. What, were they attack puppies until they got dosed?
Maybe Lee got overdosed with the ageing stuff or something…
Sorry dude, but as much as you may attack Captain America, the fans who know him and actually like his stories are going to defend it and take it to heart. Now I understand what you mean, albeit very simplified, that Captain America is a very outdated hero that just screams “American Ideals” while hiding the entire blonde and blue eyed “propaganda”. But here's the thing, I used to hate Cap, or at least I never really cared about him, until I decided to pick up one of his comics during the Civil War. And I admit, his image back in the day was kind of self promoting, but so was Superman's and Batman's. If you read the books that came out during those times they were skirting around the issue so much that they may as well have been fighting Nazi's. Captain America just flat out said “No more teasing, time to punch Hitler in the FACE!” And do you really think he's the only one who did that? Hell, there was still Namor the Sub Mariner who sunk German U Boats, hell even Dr. Seuss did that same stuff! So are you going to call Dr. Seuss a shameless propaganda machine? The point is, no matter how much you attack him, he's going to endure, thrive, and inspire an entire generation each time for the ideals of freedom and democracy, just like the country he represents.
Um, it seems to me that it's related to his boardgame purgatory rather than anything yu-gi-oh related. I mean….gatekeither. Doesn't that sounds like gatekeeper?.
The comment about artists deserving nothing but contempt may be more appropriate then you think, considering Lee played the world's biggest asshole art critic in the film Dr. Terror's House of Horrors. He gets publically humilated by Alfred the Butler and decides to drive over his hands in revenge so he'll never paint again…
The more you know.
12:25 “captain america sucks man”
worst portrayal of a super hero ever. Stupid, sloppy and useless “hero”. He's lucky that the villains are just as bad
Oh man, now I feel like a jerk. Sorry 'bout that. :D
Black flag, saving the motherfuckin' day.
Flying and teleporting have nothing to do with being a puma, huh? You clearly haven't seen very many pumas.
This looks like a job for… the proper authorities! — priceless!Well, you really have to wonder what kind of people are going to let themselves get beaten up by superheroes, super spies, and meddling kids on a weekly basis — henchmen aren't very intelligent by definition.
No harm done. I try to spell-check it myself as best as I can. And let me tell you, if my spelling is sometimes anoying now, you should have been around the forums pre-diablo2. My god, I have a hard time explaining my point as it is. Those where days of fanatic “learn english you… you!”. The internet is a more kind place. So really, no harm done.
Wow… am I the only one who noticed two familiar faces and a funny coincidence?First of all, there's Connie Sellecca, beautiful actress from The Greatest American Hero (now that's a great series I grew up with), and then there's the creepy old lady from House (the comedy/horror movie from the eighties, of course)… both starring William Katt! Yep, it's useless trivia, but I love this kind of stuff. ;)
Why Christophe Lee, why!? Im so dissapointed that Reb didn't scream. I am happy to see little kuriboh and Spoony combine…..something possibly too awesome for words
Flipped over and break your neck or self KO. That guy made a good decision. The last one on the other hand, who knew what he was thinking.
“This looks like a job for… The Proper Authorities!” That really cracks me up.
Holy crap! Christopher Fucking Lee was in this tripe?!?!?!
Carl Sagan AND Christopher Lee!? Why are there so many awesome people in this not so awesome movie! D:
I thought you might like this Spoony but I came Across an Intereview with Reb Brown and his wife at a Red Carpet showing.
I Immediately thought that you'd like this as soon as I saw it but he talks about his experiences when he filmed Strike Commando and Captain America.
I couldn't agree more Spoony, what kind of Reb Brown movie is it where he's not screaming like a bitch? Watch Space Mutiny to wash the taste of these movies outta your mouth! Yeah, tv people are scared to make superhero movies and shows too “comicbooky” but come on! I only critize when I KNOW I can do better! They could've made Steve's dad the first Capt. America, Lord knows the comics have had enough! Cap with out the Red Skull is like Holmes with out Watson! Cap needs his foil!
I've actually been hoping for a commentary on this from you Spoony :c
I personally find your commentaries to be very entertaining.
So… an already musclebound, chemically enhanced Superhero, the symbol of America, is defeated in hand-to-hand combat by a fifty-something yearold deskjockey? And people see the word “smile” clearly written in the sky and can't decipher it?
My conclusion would be that the movie was meant to be a cynical comment on modern America. They seemingly meant to say that America is full of stupid hicks und dopes, who can't accomplish anything. I have never seen anything like this, the portrayal of stupidity in this film is rampant. You just can't escape it. Even the villian and his henchemen are set up to be completely out of their minds. I can't believe this. Thank god I'll never have to watch this.
Thanks for taking this bullet for us, Spoony.Keep up the great work.
Hey, you're not through with Capt'n yet!!! There was one more with red skull. Not sure if its considered a sequel or a re imagining but its defiantly a lot better than this garbage. Watch it and review it, I'm curious to know if it redeems the series for you.
That video still of you holding the Craptain America II box, stubble crusting the bottom of your face, the wild mulletish mass of hair on top of your head, pasty skin that would do a submarine captain proud, the angry stare; if I didn't know better I would say this was the end result of some CIA/US Navy sleep deprivation/brainwashing/frat prank gone straight off the rails…
What a load of crap.
Spoony himself upvoted that comment.
Bad news for the Captain America movie in 2011. The director has already stated that he's taking Cap in “a new direction. It's inspired from the comics, but this won't be the Captain America you know”.
HAVE YOU SCUMBAGS LEARNED FUCKING NOTHING FROM THE LAST 3 FILMS?!
Giving the finger to the comics and writing whatever the hell you feel like has failed all 3 times. Kiss my ass.
If you’re making a Captain America movie, make a Captain America movie. That’s kinda what people are buying into. If you’re taking a new direction, experiment on your own ideas and quit freeloading other peoples fanbase. You cant pull that kind of stunt if you were – say – a plumber.
PLUMBER: So what’s the problem?
ME: This shower you installed yesterday. It’s not a shower.
PLUMBER: That’s right! It’s inspired by a shower, but it’s not the kind of shower you know.
ME: I paid for a shower. I wanted a shower. Not an upside-down Absinthe fountain.
PLUMBER: Well I’m sorry you don’t like it, but we have to keep pushing the boundaries. S’art, y’know?
Will Smith will be the Captain America you've always wanted to see, but were afraid to ask for.
“A new direction”? There is no God!
My Gawd. Sounds horrendous. :(
When the shield hit the ground it sounded like wood
!!!!!! I was on the floor laughing with this one Noah. Great job man, keep up the AMAZING work!
I love the Frisbee sound the shield makes when it hits the mugger.
I'm from Ecuador!!!! Captain Ecuador FTW!!!!
Im actually pissed that a movie with Reb Brown AND Christopher Lee isn't the momument of Awesomeness that should have been…
Loved all the MST3K references in this one.
More footage of people driving than in Manos: The Hands of Fate???? Is that humanly possible!?
Actually the new Captain America film will be made by the same studio that brought us Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk. So it won't be nearly as bad as you think. And since they're different scumbags, the movie has hope. Give everybody a chance. It has nothing to do with the subject matter, but how well it's written and filmed.
Before I start ranting I gotta say that my rant will have nothing to do with this review. Anyway just the other day I was hangin' out with my cousin at his place and watched him play a sonic racing game… yea, and I thought 'wait sonic in car?' doesn't he run super fuckin' fast? then I thought well that's just pointless if he can run fast why put sonic in a racing car when he's fast? doesn't make much sense to me, guess it would cheating. ON to my next point. I hate these racing games where they put different video game charaters from different types of games and put them in racing games it really makes me wanna puke in my soup, I've even heard they're putting my favorite game character 'Kratos' in another sonic racing game o_0… Please reply to this? thanks.
Excellent review. I'd never even heard of these films before now.
A brief question for Spoony, or anyone else who might be able to help me out- where did you obtain the instrumental version of the background music for the “He tried to kill him with a forklift” gag? I've been searching for it for a while. Thanks in advance if anyone can help me with this.
The Nostalgia Critic did that one already. Spoony might not want to be repetitive.
Captain Spoony vs. Ultimate Spoony.
MAKE IT SO
That movie was on some serious freaking Valium. Good lord! I haven't wanted to fall asleep this badly since I watched the Skydivers on MST3k!
Still, great video, Spoony. Kudos on getting LittleKuriboh in on it!
Captain America vs. Speed Buggy!
XD what a bad movie. Funny enough when ever you mentioned America Iw as seriously thinking of Bandit Keith from Yu-gi-oh! The abridged series. So the ending was hilarious. Pretty awesome you got Little Kouribou though
Have to say. I’ve seen all your videos and I am really a fan of you now by the way.
Also I know of to really bad and boring monster films. They are “Killer Shrews” and “Giant gila Monster” Made by this texan drive in theater owner a long time ago. They are hard to find, but you can usually find them somewhere, and even though they are boring and really really slow, they are just hilarious in how bad the monsters are. I don’t want to spoil it for you but these films are just plain bad and I’d love to see them made fun of.
I can say one Role Christopher lee hasen't play. A black man.
Christopher Lee creating a virus? It's Satanic Rites of Dracula all over again! Yah!
Awesome review as usual… And, I guess I'm showing my age here, but the reason there is little to no action and no exposition and all the rest is that these are not movies. They are 4 episodes from the failed tv series of Captain America, just repackaged as a movies. I actually saw these on TV in '79 as a 10 year old kid, and even then I thanked any god that would listen that the show never got picked up.
America….. FUCK NO
more like sequal too soon
Is it just me, or does the start look like clips from someones family vacation
If your rant has nothing to do with the review, why are you commenting here? Wouldn't the forum be a better place for that…?
The Spoony One himself gave you a Like.
I prostrate myself to your judgement, chosen one.
Who would fund this crappy movie? I mean honestly, which producer looked at the script and said “hey, this looks incredibly interesting with lots of action packed possibilities, this MUST be a top priority, especially based on the absolute ingenuity of its prequel”????
What the fuck, people???
Sometimes you feel like a nut; sometimes you don't.
It's actually four episodes of an extremely low budget TV series packaged together and made into a movie.
Just to add another kick in the balls.
Oh god… I'm just going to go and bang my head repeatedly against something hard. Probably the nearest wall.
Black Captain America? SLAVERY ENDED A HUNDRED AND FIFTY YEARS AGO! WE'VE ALREADY PAID OUR DEBT TO AFRICAN-AMERICANS! WE EVEN PUT ONE IN OFFICE!!
(I'm not actually a racist, I just couldn't resist.)
There's low budget…and then there is Captain America.
then there’s Dr, Who
Pro tip: Slamming your head against a rose bush (spiked wall) is far more effective than a normal wall :D
addition, setting fire to said rose bush covered wall will only seek to triple your pain
I think my favorite part of this review is the part where you show Captain America throwing his shield, missing the villain whose only like, 5 feet away from him. The shield misses and falls uselessly to the ground. Captain America doesn't even bother catching it or anything.
Worst extreme frisbee player EVER.
Great review! Funny as hell! “That's why we invented Michael Bay!”
Oh god the scene were Lee throws his gun on the ground to open the case and throw the virus was hysterical. Spoony you had me in tears laughing, I had to pause the video because I thought I would die of laughter. These are definitely some of my favorite reviews, I hope you do Spider-Man or the Dr.Strange TV movies, hell the Hulk ones were Thor or Daredevil show up would be great too.
Oh god the scene were Lee throws his gun on the ground to open the case and throw the virus was hysterical. Spoony you had me in tears laughing, I had to pause the video because I thought I would die of laughter. These are definitely some of my favorite reviews, I hope you do Spider-Man or the Dr.Strange TV movies, hell the Hulk ones were Thor or Daredevil show up would be great too.
… Captain America 2: Death Too Late.
Or, if you prefer, Captain America 2: Death Not Soon Enough
Well, Spoony consider yourself fortunate that you didn’t have to watch these the first time they came out. I mean live action Captain America, Spider-Man, Dr. Strange, the Punisher and Fantastic Four…really marvel, really. You expect us to swallow this crap! Even The Hulk did quite escape the cheese…I mean “The Trial Of The Incredible Hulk” tried to introduce Daredevil and Thor. However, I think the ultimate HULK cheese comes in the form of “The Death Of The Incredible Hulk” from 1990 produced and directed by Bixby himself. I think he even adds vocals to the end title song. For those that haven’t seen it I will not ruin it but track it down even if remotely interested it’s on DVD. Still it is a little better than Ang Lee’s attempt but that’s just my opinion.
And Spoony…while I know you are exceedingly busy you may want to see if you can track down a copy of the 1988 Bourne Identity with Richard Chamberlian as Bourne. I’m not kidding here either.
My name is Captain America. I resent your comments at me. I am very superheroish, I just had a crappy script and I needed a job
Signed Captain America
Dear Captain America
WHY AREN’T YOU OUT FIGHTING CRIME
signed the world
We fight crime! Why don’t you like us?
Signed the X-Men
Screw you guys, we only want Wolverine.
Signed the World
Dear Earth Prime,
Keep it down over there! And get off our lawn!
signed, The universe next door.
Dear Universe next door,
Please tell your girlfriend to close the drapes when she comes out of the shower. Our kids can see, and it’s inappropriate. We will call the police next time.
Signed, Earth Prime
Have you found my Matrix of Leadership? I think I dropped it in the pool. I need it before Hot Rod tries to BS his way into my position again/Robo-Orson Wells tries to eat a planet again.
Signed, Optimus Prime
Dear Optimus Prime,
You have been asked numerous times to find someplace else to park your trailer while in robot form. We are not your personal storage unit. If it is not removed from the premises within 24 hours of this notification, it will be towed, impounded and auctioned at your expense.
Signed, Transwarp Subspace
Dear Transwarp Subspace,
I’LL KILL YOU! TO DEATH!
PS: Everything was better on MY Earth!
Continuing from the Captain America 1 review…
When you said “Sequel”… i yelled “What” so loud my 4 year old son freaked out and almost cried
I actually launched into a storm of nos that Shia LeBoef would have been jealous of.
ROFL, but who is mango?
OMG! It’s the sequel to Satanic Rites of Dracula! Mango only pawn in game of life!
“He tried to kill him with a forklift!” MST3K referance ftw!
Very funny review. I love how Captain America seemed to forget he had super strength when he was tackled and choked by an old man. You can just tell that by the end the writers just wanted to wrap this crappy film up and shower it off themselves. Keep on hatin’ Spoony.
Also maybe someone could explain this whole dog thing to me? I’m sure they are a lot tougher then the average mook but surely can’t put up that much of an extra threat. If i remember correctly Batman got his’ ass kicked by dogs in The Dark Knight as well, i just don’t get it.
trained dogs can F*ck people up
Fu man chu is consider his own race?
lmao poor captain america, he will never live to seize the chance to punch hitler on the big screen unless we survive 2012
also christopher lee fuck yeah, his best movie was the one where he took on the role of a pakistani, pakistans founder muhammad ali jinnah, so i hope you get around some day to review this movie! (unless youve done already)
The brunete is from The Greatest American Hero. Probably the best live action tv super hero ;ive action series ever made. I remember it when I was a kid in 80′s At least that didnt suck unlike Reb Captain America. Hopefully Will Ferrell with get the role in the movie adaption. And from the first Captain America movie review, how can you say the Spiderman tv series sucked. I loved it when I was a kid. The few eps Ive seen recently I still lovve it. Its stupid but fun.
I would love to see a review Greatest American Hero. I was hoping Cinemasnob would do it sometime in near future as he uses the theme for his reviews. Maybe he will do it if the movie actualy gets made.
Maybe a Spoony Amazing Spiderman tv series review is needed.
Will Ferrell? Seriously? Putting aside the fact that he’s not all that great of an actor in my opinion, he neither has the physique, nor can he play a serious role. He played Ron Burgundy! RON BURGUNDY! Not only would his voice not fit, people wouldn’t be able to see him onscreen without wondering why he’s not in a funny movie.
I’ve never wondered that, since I’ve never seen him in a funny movie.
I bet I’m not the first to say this, but you should review the Captain America serial from ’44 before the summer theatrical film comes out. It’s public domain. I watched it recently. It isn’t good.
At least we got the awesome Hulk series out of Marvel’s brief flirtation with TV stuff.
After seeing it for the first time on SyFy, I can say that this is way better than the first one because of Christopher Lee. His commanding presence can elevate any crappy movie he’s in much like Howling II!
i saw it on sci-fi channel as well,Christopher lee wasn’t that bad.
I always knew that I would become a super villain, but not that I would grow up to become Christopher Lee :P
Seriously, good review, even if it was weird hearing my name many times. You see, there are not a lot of Miguel here in Quebec, so usually when I hear my name, it’s someone talking to me.
You’re right, those movies looked boring, but you are not ;)
Your such a dork. I’m a cute wy, Spoony. Haha, love you!
LOL…the wheelman on the beach looks like he’s driving Speed Buggy.
Oww…..to refer Speed Buggy in the Captain America movie is an insult to Speed Buggy.
lol the soundtrack sounds exactly like Scooby fucking Doo
Actually this film was releash in theater in France.
awesome! im from portland
I double checked the math. 2.5 years a day. That is the aging rate. At least Christopher Lee makes this movie allot more watchable than the first movie.
I just got both Captain America movies in a double pack DVD. It actually says
Action-Packed” on the cover.
My God, that man has Brum for a getaway car!
14:38 Love that bit there, Spoony.
You and Crow T. Robot would get along so well!
Black Flag ftw.
New to the Spoony One. Loved the artist line, especially since I am one.
Just because you think you’re an artist doesn’t mean you really are one.
Ummmmmm…..Spoony, its not being lazy to reuse an opening for a Tv series. Even you do it.
No. There’s a difference between reusing an opening for a television or web series and reusing an opening for a movie.
^He’s right. Just look at Mortal Kombat: Annihilation…
But dude, that beginning totally gets a pass. Mortal Kombat’s intro was the best thing ever at that time! When I saw Annihilation the first time, I remember being pleased that they reused the intro.
I love the way Reb Brown looks confused and puffy-faced whenever he’s in his Captain America costume.
They tried too kill me with a forklift!