Captain America

The Spoony One | Feb 8 2010 | more notation(s) | 

Reb Brown dons the stars and stripes as America’s hometown hero!

  • Anonymous

    Omg hahaha im suppose to be getting to bed but Captain Spoony is worth being tired the next day for!

  • Zachrid

    Wait… that thing has a sequel? Man, sometimes I’m quite grateful that there isn’t something like a german superhero, so we don’t have “this kind of problem” here. I mean “Captain Germany” would be … aw wait… *googles* fuuuuu…

  • Anonymous

    Awesome Review Spoony…

  • eckshale

    Hey, deja vu :O

  • eckshale

    Yay, another one!

  • Anonymous

    I don’t know about you but.. I’M REEEAAAALLLLY ANGREEEHHHH!!!

  • TomeOne

    Reb Brown is the best.

  • Peter Skerritt

    Brilliant job, sir. I don't know how you sat through that movie and didn't reach for the fast-forward button. “Captain Emo” would've been a more suitable title for Brown's role in the film. The fact that you've sat through a sequel– Why, God, Why?– and will be posting that soon is icing on the cake.

  • General Kabul

    Roll Fizzlebeef!

  • DerKork

    Reb Brown (as “Captain America”) vs Lance LeGault (as “Harley”; the actor is better known for performing Colonel Decker in the A-Team)… What a weird, insane and weird concept! Not to mention the mediocre acting (okay, it's a mediocre script as far as I can grasp it, desperately trying to get a few more minutes of air time). But then again, it's somewhat better than the 1991 film the Nostalgia Critic dealt with since this one has a base more solid, right?

    • Bondpirate

      “Mediocre Script” is giving too much credit, anything with this slow a pacing would give the Rifftrax guys some trouble.

      • Anonymous

        I compared the script to an A-Team episode, that’s why it’s mediocre in my book…

        • Bondpirate

          Touche, but now the real question is, “Could the movie have been saved if Mr.T was the antagonist?”
          “Aint no pansy Captain America boy gonna stop me from gettin my gold fool! Bring me my neutron bomb. With this much, I can fashion the worlds greatest gold chain to adorn my glorious neck. AND THEN I TAKE OVER THE WORLD! [Cut to “OF COURSE!”] I pity the fool that tries to stop me.”….

          Yes, yes it probably could have.

          Edit: It’s sad that in a half hearted joke I gave more plot and character motivation than a group of professional writers.
          Also, Jack Kirby worked on this, WTF, at least he should have made Captain America less emo.

          • Anonymous

            Now that we have shown some passion (we like each others comments)to each other: Yes, Mr. T would have saved this dull, dry (like some army rations) and unbelieveably droning (you can tell I’m a foreigner, don’t you?) waste of film/VHS tape. But so would have a dance number from an indian dance movie.

            And Jack Kirby was probably only in for the money…
            “Hey, Jack, we want to turn Catain America into a steaming pile of whiny horsesh*t. Are you okay with that?” – “Yeah, if you give me [insert huge pile of US-Dollars] I’d be okay if you turn him into a ballet dancer. So, go on.” – “Thanks Jack, the check’s in the mail.”
            (Counting the seconds until someone comes and tries to prove him wrong…)

          • Bondpirate

            To give him the benefit of the doubt, this was the end of the Carter recession and nobody really had any money. The Comic Code Authority probably didn’t help either. Or this was one giant inside joke to try to produce something worse than the 1976 King Kong remake. Or they just bought a truckload of cocaine and partied but forgot they had to make a movie at the end of the day so they put something together quick-like. Regardless, Spoony suffered for their sins and our amusement; someone should buy that man a beer!

            Bondpirate signing off and letting you know “danger is my middle name and it ends in double ‘O’ ARR!”

  • johnnyv123

    Wow this is bad. I love his reactions to driving off a cliff. He's lightly rubbing his neck and then is like hmph, guess I'm just accident prone, peace. Then not even a hint of sadness, horror, etc when he sees his long time friend bite it. I could almost forgive having one fight scene if he were fighting as Captain America but he is just fighting basically as a guy on Super Roids.

  • Paul K

    I have to say, I'm horrified, but the other Captain America movie was a lot better

  • Kaohe Alama-Francis

    I'm surprised that you didn't do a very obvious joke involving F.L.A.G. and the B.A.M.F. acronym there Spoony.

    And if anybody wants to know, the reason behind this Captain America having nothing to do with the comic book Cap is that for some screwed up reason Marvel thought that if the Hulk was successful even though it didn't follow the concept of the comics that Cap could do the same success. For god sakes man, the Hulk's name was changed to David because the producers thought that the name Bruce was too associated with gay men at the time!

    Basically, the Captain America movies were basically two failed pilot episodes for a possible television series (The Doctor Strange one was also a TV movie which was going to be basically a pilot as well)

  • Mint/Letty

    I actually guessed 75 minutes. Awesome.

  • ApatheticOne (the original)

    My feels like forever since there was a review posted on this site…The wait was worth it..

  • KatKaleen

    I actually guessed that it´s 70 minutes until he appears in the costume. Pretty close.

    As to stupid villain plans: That´s what happens when you have a bad writer. Sometimes it would be better if you had two guys play a table top RPG, one as the villain, another one as the hero. They get their individual resources (like financial power vs. super strength) and then they just play and write down what they´re doing in the game. At least that would have the hero/villain make sensible decisions.

    And know I have a question: How long will it take for someone to photoshop Doug´s head onto a dirty ballerina picture?
    I´m already very afraid of that. oO”

    • Peter Skerritt

      I had guessed 80 minutes. You win since you didn’t go over. :-)

  • Nephilim1977

    Great to see you back in action Noah!
    Glorious return. Can't wait to see the sequel :D

  • Searry

    Get your hair cut. Mega mullet man.

    • Poipoi

      That is not mullet yet. Its approaching mullet stage though. Go watch overboard to see a real mullet. Mmmm spoony with a mullet.

      Or send him money for a haircut. He probably has to use the money for rent, food, and now medical bills from a foot surgery. Trust me, they will get you big bucks even for asprin these days.

  • Yamisilaas

    Yo spoony, Will you please take those things off your sidebar? The sex and gruesome video things? I come here to relax, to have some fun and be entertained. The sex thing is just distracting, and kinda annoying to see every time i look up, and the gruesome video footage takes alot away from your videos because it keeps drawing my attention. Im not gunna click on either, so theyre just taking away from the site. Sorry if it seems like im trollin, Your i love your stuff, just those things bother me. Thanks for your time.

    • Dan

      Easy solution, just get an adblocker like adblocker plus. Or stop going to so many porn sites hehe

  • Yamisilaas

    Yo spoony, Will you please take those things off your sidebar? The sex and gruesome video things? I come here to relax, to have some fun and be entertained. The sex thing is just distracting, and kinda annoying to see every time i look up, and the gruesome video footage takes alot away from your videos because it keeps drawing my attention. Im not gunna click on either, so theyre just taking away from the site. Sorry if it seems like im trollin, Your i love your stuff, just those things bother me. Thanks for your time.

    • Poipoi

      Dude, can’t speak for the others or Spoony, but you are not trolling. That was a very polite request. If they are ads, he might not have any way to remove them. Some web sites sorta do that, its lil cheaper to have a page with ads but you can’t control what ads are posted.

  • Cthulhu07

    And all this time I thought FLAG stood for Foundation for Law and Goverment…. :D

    Great review as always, Spoony.

  • Bekefel

    How they could make such a boring superhero movie I shall never know. Even the worst superhero movies out there can still be entertaining. A few fight scenes, a few explosions and some cheesy dialogue are just some of the possible components. How a superhero movie exists without any of these baffles me!

    I would recommend getting some Ad-Blocking software. I haven't got a problem with advertisements usually but you're right, those particular ads are pretty distracting. I'd recommend AdBlock (Firefox) or AdSweep (Chrome) or something like that.

  • ThomasFishwick

    You survived the first movie and now you're taking on the sequel. Forget Captain America (not that hard), you're the real hero here! That or you've seen so many bad movies and games that it has left you so psyologicaly damaged you confuse abstract agony with joy.

    Looking forward to the sequel, and what's with the black ring? I thought you hated jewelry? (yes I do know why, but as you were throwing it in our faces I thought I might as well point it out)


    PS I guessed one hour fifteen minuites, I win the prize whooo who!

  • They Call Me The Fizz

    Nice tights, Spoony!

    I seriously found it hard to believe you could make a boring Reb Brown movie but sure enough, here it is…
    I'll try to keep my hopes low for the sequel

    Maybe some time down the road you could take a crack at the Spirit movies (Both the 1987 TV movie and the *ugh* Frank Miller version)

  • rocnael

    How can an oil company manage to build a nuclear bomb in the first place ?
    I'm not an expert but they would need uranium, a bunch of competent scientists and some facilities (away from civilisation for tests). And how come the FBI or another intelligence agency wouldn't know about that plan ?
    This is ridiculous.

  • Salenstormwing

    I remember seeing this movie a long long time ago, and lord was it bad. Yes, this version makes the one version that NC reviewed look like a cake walk.

  • Daniel Pitcher

    That has to be the worst movie I've ever seen reviewed. At least with bad movies they can make us laugh. But no this movie is nothing, I hate to think about what is going to happen in the sequel.

  • Manuel Baudisch

    Hate me for it, but I thought that the 70's Spider-Man movieseries was quite a guilty pleasure.

    • Anonymous

      Well, if you liked that show, then you should definitely check out the Japanese version of Spider-Man.
      In fact, you can watch EPISODE 38 (with english subs) online. Here’s the link:

      • Manuel Baudisch

        Only heard about it, but never seen it. Back in the days, when I was actually looking for it (yeah, I know), I could only find some fancy little VHS tapes. But € 200.00 per tape was way too expensive for my taste.

        Thankfully, I came around your precious comment. Thank you very much, I’m promptly going to check it out! :-)

  • Georg Veramme

    I think Linkara should've cime in and said 'this movie sucks!'.
    Goddamnit man, this is Captain fucking America, dude punched Hitler for christ sake!

    Hell even i coudl've written a better fucking script and made cameos with the Hulk and Thor and all the other Avengers.

  • klibble

    Yeah, Spoony, why don't you get rid of the advertisements that help pay for keeping this site up and entertaining us all, huh? WHY DON'T YOU?

  • assiman

    FLAG? Nothing compared to BAM. Big Ass Motherfuckers.

    I feel bad for Reb Brown. How does he feel about his shitty career these days?

  • sablegryphon

    While it is correct to say that most revolvers are impossible to silence, it is possible to silence a limited number of them. The biggest technical problem in silencing a revolver is that the gas escapes out of the cylinder. However, in the last years of the 1800s, a revolver was produced by Tzarist Russia called the M1895 Nagant revolver. This was a very unusual weapon. It has a seven shot cylinder, which is random enough that I wonder if they had just decided on the cylinder size before the calibre and then figured out how many holes they could drill. This was also a gas sealed revolver. This was possible because of two features. First, when the trigger is pulled, a mechanism presses the cylinder forward to seat against the barrel. Second, the weapon used a very unique round, the 7.62×38 Nagant. In this round, the bullet is actually seated behind the front of the casing, which is crimped down to hold the bullet in. This cartridge is a bit longer than the cylinder. So, when one pulls the trigger, the cylinder is pressed forward which slides the tip of the casing into the barrel itself. Then, when it fires, the brass expands into the barrel, forming a seal, so no gas escapes out of the cylinder. This allowed the revolver to be silenced.

    I can't get a good enough look at the revolver in Captain America to say, but I'd bet good money that it couldn't be silenced. It was clearly not a Nagant revolver and it does not appear to use any sort of gas seal.

  • Kevin_Holsinger

    Yeah, it was like the writers put that FLAG line in there SPECIFICALLY so that Spoony could do the Big Ass Motherf*ckers joke 30+ years later…and then Spoony doesn't make the joke.

    Overall, of course, good review. I'm curious to see what's the next character Spoony's going to shame himself into dressing up as.

  • criticalmarine

    A Captain America who is a Marine whose tour of duty has ended, sounds like my kind of superhero, forget you John Stewart-Green Lantern, step aside Frank Castle, This Marine's Wearing the Red, White, and Blue

  • sablegryphon

    Flint Ironstag!

    • Anonymous

      Bob Johnson!

      …Oh wait…

      • Dan

        Big McLarge Huge!

  • eaglefalcon

    My mind is just totally blown by this actionless action movie. Im afraid of this sequel… part of me wants to believe it cant get worse, but I cant think of a sequel that was better than the original.

  • Poipoi

    Spoony you are one brave bastard to take on this movie and the sequel.

    Capt America's whiny level reminds me of what they did to the Bionic Woman in the remake series. I think they were trying to keep a level of realism but we don't want that. We want to see a hero kick ass.

  • criticalmarine

    What a cruel joke, I can't believe they get off with this bull-honky. I mean a “Marine Captain America” shouldn't be so boring. It should be even more interesting to watch then the wimpy Army Captain America, but they did it. Good thing you got this one Spoony, I don't think I could have handled a review of this without exploding with anger at what appears to be an extremely dull movie, hope #2 treats you better.

  • Michael Antignano

    Another excellent series of reviews from the Spoony One

  • Anonymous

    Just me, or did the Black Lantern ring Spoony had on, vanish mid way through the review?

  • EatTheHumans

    All I can say is thank spork they never made a Captain Britain movie. The thought haunts me at night.

  • Charlienark

    I don't know about you but.. I'M REEEALLLYYY ANGREEEHHH!!!

  • sablegryphon

    Aliens? Godzilla, Mothra, King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack? Mad Max? How about Family Guy: Something Something Something Dark Side?

  • EatTheHumans

    I love that phrase Bull-Honky and I've rarely seen it used more appropriatly.

  • memph

    Reb really didnt know how to Emote in this movie.
    But then again captain america is cool as a cucumber in the comics.
    especially in the sixties and seventies.
    cant wait till part 2.

    Keep it up Spoony

  • Anonymous

    Hey, the bad guy’s henchmen is Col. Decker, from seasons 2-5 of the A-team!

  • LotusPrince

    I like Goldfinger's plan better – make the gold radioactive and DON'T transport it, so his own gold increases in worth.

  • Justin Bell

    youre right, what a criminal misuse of Reb

  • RWill

    Oh God, it's Black Lantern Spoony! Don't listen to his lies; he's in league with Robo-Linkara!

  • Anonymous

    Actually, in the comics, Cap does indeed have a “battle van” similar to the one in this. I don’t know if it was introduced to tie into this flik or not, though. He tends to just stick to his motorcycle, though, unless on stake out.

  • Christopher Lash

    Wow… Spoony, I know you like your Reb Brown flicks but, please tell me this was a bet gone horribly wrong. This seems to be a step down the dark side for you. Please step away from the crappy american made movies and find some better use of your time. This was worse than the multiple times I've re-watched the ending credits to FF8 due to your review. Otherwise, I hope you keep up the awesome work.

  • Diggerjohn111

    Spoony's Cap't America costume is better than Reb's. But that is the third worst evil plot Spoony ever reviewed, let's not forget the Bronzemen and the Super Weed Killer from “Clones of Bruce Lee”, at least a neutron bomb will make a big noise. Awesome review as always Spoony! Can't wait for part two.

  • thedeviot

    Wow. And I thought the 90's DTV was bad. Wow. Just. Wow.

  • Poipoi

    Its cool. We all have our guilty pleasure movies.

    • Manuel Baudisch

      That might be true, but if your “List Of Guilty Pleasures” also includes the Gilmore Girls and Gay Porn, you ‘know’ that you’ve got a problem right there.

      Come to think of it… my 70’s Spider-Man fetish seems to be the lesser of two evils… especially compared to the Gilmore Girls.

      • Poipoi

        I don’t watch Gilmore Girls but I do get fasinated and amused with gay porn. Then again I’m a weird girl.

  • BlueHighwind

    Its a bad sign for your movie if the low-budget Internet review has BETTER effects than your entire production company can muster. By the way Spoony, you were looking rather fetching in that Captain America suit (no homo).

  • alexmitchell

    I've been looking forward to this review ever since the Nostalgia Critic reviewed the other Captain America movie. I was lucky(?) enough to see both, and I was a little disappointed with his emphatic panning of a movie that was light-years better than this and much closer to the real Captain America. At least he fought Nazis, you know?

    I'll also admit I have a soft spot for this weird AU Steve Rogers. I like to imagine him still out there, traveling the California coastline, just hanging out being mellow with his cat. Painting watercolors. I'd read an updated comic about him, I suppose. They'd still have to try a little harder, though.

  • RoryBinks

    The review of the sequel is on Blip TV. It looks like a far better movie, but still a huge misuse of Reb.

  • Aphotic Lucent

    Is it just me or is spoony acting more and more like Tom Servo?

  • thatrussianguy

    Wait wait wait, they thought a sequel to the most boring movies of the 70s was a good idea? It took 74 Minutes for anything to happen, i guessed 60 but i guess i was being optimistic. My God, and i thought modern day producers were idiots. Anyway, great review and excellent use of the Heil Hitler Bit.

    'Itcy Bitsy Spider went up the water spout, down came the rain and HEIL HITLER! *Rapid Gunshots*'

  • Natasha Douglas

    Good God…Surely the prospect of a crappy Reb Brown movie should be illegal?!? This is so bad it deserves an immediate death sentence – although it pretty much committed suicide itself within the first five minutes…..

    I gotta ask though, why are you only Black Lantern Spoony for the first 10 mins of the review?

  • Andrew Michael Brown

    That felt more like an episode of Diagnosis Murder

  • david86

    that looked like the worst movie ever made and i've watched “the refrigerator”

    hopefully the sequels even worse

  • Dustin Hotness Williams

    God, what a shitty movie…

    To be honest though, there was something off about your style this time. IDK, you seemed to be TOO sarcastic, if that's possible. Don't get me wrong, it was still funny, but not as funny as you usually are.

  • Swingontehspiral

    i cant believe that i would rather watch the upcoming captain america movie before watching a reb brown movie.

    great work spoony, you have a talent for finding the shittiest pieces of cinema. oh yeah, you're also the funniest fucking person on the entire interwebs!!!

  • Caelan

    That last scene is epic. They should have used that idea in Spider Man 2 and had a ten minute scene with spiderman sitting next to some paramedics as they tried to revive Doc Ock. That's what that movie was REEEEALY missing.

  • calibandonflamingo

    Wow…that last scene…just wow

  • walmor

    Thank God! I was wodering when Spoony wold release new material. Oh, and dude, you need to take better care of yoself, you look realy wasted.

  • geekfury

    Just me, or did the Black Lantern ring vanish midway through the review?

  • Richard Abbott

    I hope we'll see a review of the second film too :3

  • Strelnikov

    It's like they took the “hero” from “Lazerblast” and tried to mix him with Cap'n America…. EPIC FAIL. The only thing the 1991 Captain America movie got right was the set-up: Steve Rogers fights Nazis in the 1940s, including the Italian Fascist douchebag Red Skull. Everything else in that flick was a load. With the 1979 movie abso-FRICKIN'-lutly NOTHING has ANYTHING to do with Captain America story as we know it, and I never read an issue of any comic book Captain America was in!

    Props for letting the Nostalgia Critic hang himself and for letting Linkara rant a little.

  • RoryBinks

    Its on his blip TV already.

  • thorbie

    “Jam Captain America down their throats! At the same time, protect yourself.”

    Worst sex ed advice ever. lol.

  • MrZer0

    yea…I could see this Captain America rallying the masses against the government intrusion of the Superhuman Registration Act.

  • ChibiGingi

    The screencap for this episode should have been the last shot of Spoony when he's holding up the sequel. That face = THIS REVIEW.


  • meldar

    Good work, Spoony. Always happy to see another Reb Brown movie, even one as dull as this.

    I think there was a sequel to this movie, actually… Are you going to review that one too?

  • Cthulhu07

    It's on blip-tv. The sequel review that is….

  • meldar

    TheSpoonyOne works quickly, it seems!


  • KatKaleen

    On second thought, I got to give this movie some credit: It was shot in the 70´s, and it looks like the 70´s.
    Somehow that makes it look better than the early 90´s movie, which STILL looked like a 70´s movie. *lol*

  • capthavic

    “Jam Captain America down their throats…”


  • Meurant Arthur

    Captain America actually had a van in the comics during the seventies. The most disturbing part of this movie is how close it actually tries to get to the wrong elements of the character's mythos, IMHO.
    “Yes let's make a movie about the boring issues of Cap, that'll sell!”

  • Lee Erickson

    The Elusive Robert Denby (TERD for short) is the ultimate supervillain. He should have been the villain in this movie instead of…wait a minute, who was the villain again?

  • zenithl

    “If I'm gonna suffer I'm gonna take all you bastards with me!”

    Speaking of which, I'm really looking forward to another review from the three shmuckheads!

  • hwalsh

    Spoony! I have looked for a copy of that and the sequel “Captain America II: Death Too Soon” for years! Where did you find it?!?!!?

  • bondpirate

    During the “only” fight scene as the guy was porked, I had but one thought, “that's not kosher.”

  • Peter Schmitzberger

    Iit´s beef he throws and not pork, though u see pork at the beginning and the end of “the Fight”. Funny review as always.

  • hwalsh

    Spoony… Again… I love you man. ROFLMAO

    Sadly when I was a little kid this came on… I thought it was cool simply because Captain America was in it… I saw it again and even though I want a copy (I don't know why!) I can only come to one conclusion as to why I liked it…

    I was a stupid, stupid, stupid child.

  • JeanJacket

    D: It – It's like whoever decided to hire Reb Brown was later fired from the project and the remaining contributors had no idea what to do with him…

    Nice review, though. LOL at the unwilling cameos.

  • shadowdancer21b

    Wow. This film sounds so dull. Did you at least break out the ol' GBA while sitting through it?

  • DrForrester

    I loved all the Riding with Death references, as that's one of my favorite MST3K episodes of all time. I can't believe how similar some of those scenes were, most notably the whole riding with your weapon in the back of a semi scene. I'm guessing panel vans were a popular convention of the late 70s and early 80s as the movie Laserblast and both Master Ninjas starred a dopey hero with a big van

  • Matthew Hill

    I think the Riding with Death similarities go even further. I think they used the same redressed parking garage R w/ D used for Intersect.

  • Jimi Alexander

    Wow, that car crash was the most anti-climactic, sluggish roll I've ever seen in a movie. I was half-expecting a Dukes of Hazzard logo to interpose itself over the screen.

  • mrwednesdaynight

    Say what you will about Bruno Mattei, he would not have screwed up Captain America starring Reb Brown this bad. I can say in all confidence that the Master of Italian Rip Off movies would have made a better Captain America movie than Americans did. I can picture it in my head already and I'd pay money to see that.
    Looking at some of the info online, it looks like the Captain America adaptation that will be coming soon won't be very good. Why does Hollywood hate Captain America? I have theories but seriously, this character has not been treated well by Hollywood.

  • Sai

    Hahahahaaaaa… I can't wait for the next part. Dear god this movie is so meandering and pointless, what was the script writer thinking? Did they even have one? It's a testament to your talent, Spoony, that you can make an entertaining review out of a movie so dirt boring.

  • Jesse Shearer

    From the looks of things, the worst part of this movie is that there are sequels to it, and that's saying a lot. I had not thought it possible to make a superhero movie that boring, but I guess it is. Just goes to show why this was forgotten about over the years. Can't wait for the next part.

  • shmooglavoue

    I can't believe it. This Captain America movie is worse than the one that NC reviewed! It vexes me; how could anyone miss the concept of a superhero who fights nazi's so badly?

    Here's to seeing you review the sequel Spoony!

  • DeathsHead419

    I don't think it's that hollywood hate the charater, so much as he isn't one very easily adapted to film. Captain America is tied to a specific timeframe and a very complicated set of events to explain his backstory. In contrast, Batman has had some of the best film adaptations. Why? Becasue he isn't tied to any timeframe and has a very simple yet powerful backstory.

    I'm not sure what the formula is, but I'm fairly sure Captain America simply does not lend himself to the cinema. It also doesn't help that in some cases these movies have been made on shoestring budgets by people who don't give a shit about the source meterial.

  • FelCallerClayton


  • Doomzorus

    I got to disagree with one thing in that review. A silenced revolver do work and do exist. Even thought it wouldn't be my weapon of choice for silent takedown. A knife or 9mm with silencer would have been better.

  • frontrowgreg

    A cliffhanger??? You bastard!

  • Bosh_Depanzer

    Oh yeah! “Captain America” sure is a potent put-down, I must say. Provided your referring to this specific movie.

    Seriously, in my opinion, this is actually WORSE than the unreleased Fantastic Four movie. At least in FF you saw the heroes in their element within 20 minutes and they DID SH*T!

  • BlueMage

    It may have been bad, but your hate for it entertains me. In that sense, I'm glad it was made.

    Also, I noticed there were some extra white pixels around the edges of your Captain America text. I thought you had Photoshop? It's easily fixable, y'know.

  • Ghislain Harbec

    It's best said that Spoony can make a better Captain America costume then the frikkin movie.

  • William Delmar Rankin

    Man it pains me to see this kind of movie. your a stronger man then me spoony. love the review about the only way i could watch this with out falling asleep.

    Anyone else knowdest the ring?

  • facebook-1429413036

    Holy shit! You finally did it! YESSSSSSS! I have been waiting for this for a long time. You are the man Spoony.

  • facebook-1429413036

    Oh I have a movie for you…..Condorman!!!!! Its shit 2 times over. Even the music is so fucking hilarious that you want to cry. Let me know and I can send you a copy of it.

  • facebook-1429413036

    I cant wait for the rest. I am rolling!

  • Brad Johnson

    I can spot one hole in this movie's logic that's so atrociously huge you can drive a truck through it. Why stop ANYONE from blowing up Phoenix??????

  • Wiegeabo Kilijabob

    Yes, god dammit! CONDORMAN! I grew up on that movie. 100% pure, unadulterated awesome!

  • kdlala

    Hey, it's Slab Bulkhead!

  • SoldierHawk

    Oh Spoony, what a fantastic choice. This movie deserves everything you can give it and more for what it did to poor Cap. Well done, and I can't wait for the rest!

  • Johndar

    I disagree. I think Hollywood could easily make a good film adaption of Captain America. His back story isn't any more complicated then Ironman's and his film was, in my opinion, pretty awesome. Also, Cap isn't really tied to a timeframe. Sure, his story begins in WWII, but when he defrosts is pretty interchangeable. I don't think Captain America the character has anything to do with these movies sucking, its like you said, low budget films that just don't care.

  • Andrew Michael Brown

    Imma jammin' to that funky pork n' beans farting theme…

  • MFlorian

    I'm glad Blip TV had the second part of the review. Double Feature!

    Still, if those movies were supposed to be TV show pilots, it would make sense they'd use the same opening. I'm assuming.

  • MFlorian

    Yeah. The Black Lantern ring was only on for a short time. Since Linkara's doing a “To Be Continued” of his Ultimates Review with Mechara at the end, I bet Mechara and Black Lantern Spoony will team-up next week.

  • kkhs

    So you happened to find the best movie quote ever. Big deal!!


  • xiomay

    My question is where does Spoony keep all these props and costumes? xD

  • Onnuri Kwak

    well…. normally, silenced revolver doesn't make sense. However, as far as I know Russia and America made silenced revolver (links: which wouldn't be as efficient or easier to get as just putting silencer and subsonic rounds to a semi-autometic , so I can get your point.

  • saradiart

    are you wearing a black power ring you gigantic nerd

  • hrf5gd

    Absolutely awesome. I have to admit I laughed the hardest seeing spoony dressed up in his own costume.

    P.S. Spoony, I love you, you are adorable, but maybe a haircut wouldn't be a terrible idea… Sorry just being a girl.

  • Doomzorus

    Had the same comment on this.

  • membrane

    Yay! A movie so awful it finally killed the critic. Is he gone for good?

  • ScreamingMantis

    lol I adore this man's work so I wasnt gonna say anything about *maybe* getting a slight haircut but I was thinking it hahaha. He's still overly adorable though. Anyway, I loved the costume hahaha, and I think Spoony did a great job doing these two films, it was unexpected and thats always alot of fun. I love how he's got a clip of the “yellow pepper incident” in his theme song now. Poor guy <3

  • Lermont

    Um, that a nice head of hair for being out of the marines for just two weeks, considering how old the movie is, are the marines not what they used to be or sure have changed since then?

  • StealthKnight

    Don't forget the nagant revolver that can attache a suppressor to it's barrel. Most of the silent pistols/revolvers seem to be made in Russia. Maybe the villain was secretly a communist =).

  • ryanah77

    Keep up the great reviews! I know they take a lot of time and effort, but it's well worth it

  • benrout

    Great reviews as always, but i think the most i had ever laughed at your reviews is your Captain America imitations, especially in the second one. Keep em comin dude, i am loving every video you put up here, thanks for the great entertainment.

    “This looks like a job for…………..the proper authorities!!!”

  • JohnnyRebOPERATOR


  • Wade Seewald

    15 min in what is that form i thought i just saw it somewhere

  • Alars

    My favorite bad superhero movie review.

  • John David Douglas Marshall

    So this is basically the Captain Beach Bum movie. Inspiring.

  • AtheistIraqVet

    Where does he get those wonderful toys?

  • AtheistIraqVet

    “Throw pork at them from the shadows” deserves a t-shirt, or at least a button.

  • spacerpg

    I liked the review, but what do you have against pork?

  • warxepb

    That scientist guy is a dead ringer for Carl Sagan. Seriously, I had to look it up on IMDB and Wikipedia to confirm it wasn't.

  • Misha Zhuykov

    Believe it or not, silenced revolvers are possible.

  • Ronin_the_Silent

    Zomg! Black Lantern Ring!

  • david86

    “brackett is no mad dog killer!”

  • godlyman

    Actually, Misha, the Nagant revolver is the only revolver you can use a silencer on because it expells gases at the end of the barrel instead of expelling gas between the cylinder and the barrel.

  • Guest
  • oMrHarris

    at 13:30 he says “Jam it down there throats and protect your self”……

    BJ joke?

  • jetman123

    This is because the revolver was specially modified so that it presses the cartridge forward before firing, forming a seal between the cylinder and barrel.

  • jetman123

    I believe it was the first operational silenced weapon, used by Russian special ops teams and loved muchly.

    Also, as Spoony says (from memory) “Note to self: My fans are very knowledgeable about firearms…”

  • 13secondspastmidnight

    Why, if the villain is an OIL TYCOON, is he trying to rob a gold repository? He's RICH for fuck's sake!
    This movie's logic makes as much sense as the last season of Lost… (but great review)

  • CliffehCakes

    this movie seems so boring theres not even that much to make fun of, thats really sad.

  • MetalNick

    It almost seems like the beginning of the movie was intended to come after Sagan's death.

  • jayden

    i guessed 1 hour and a half
    i was 16 minutes off

  • Mark Bob

    1 hour 15 minutes.

  • Jeran Norman

    I think the real superhero here is Spoony

  • Harrison Albert Jahnke

    Um…sorry to nerd out but Captain America actually did have a van with a hidden motorcycle in it. That was probably the only thing they took from the comics.

    • Anonymous

      Actualy, the TV-movie took more from the comics. It was at that time that Captain America was wandering America as Nomad, a hero without a purpose. He eventually became Cap again. This movie just borrowed the turning from Nomad to Cap idea without having him become Cap and then Nomad first.

  • jhart2943

    Captain America AKA Punch Sideiron AKA Roll Fizzlebeef AKA Big McLargehuge

  • Cal

    Who in the hell thought that this movie was going to make any money at all? Shouldn't that bring up some sort of red flag?

  • Jack Smith

    its science time !!

    actually, neutron bombs (or correctly: enhanced radiation weapon (ERW)) do not cause a fallout (at least not for more than 24h until the radiation lvls have dropped so far that there is no safety hazard anymore, and once the initial blast is over, standard rad suits allow entering the area within minutes after the explosion)

    neutron bombs don't work by blowing sh!t up, they work by basically pushing the hydrogen out of everything organic and replacing it with *guess what* NEUTRONS.

    obviously this is a quite nasty business, theres a reason the effect of the hydrogen/neutron replacement on humans and animals is called “juicing” as this literally results in loss of structural integrity of anything living and you end up as goo with bones on the floor.

    advantage of neutron bombs: 24 hours after the explosion its save for civilians, buildings/roads/electronics are not damaged (they will however be covered in human goo so you best get that cleaning crew ready before it starts to smell)

    disadvantage: the use of neutron bombs is considered a war crime

    and I guess it goes without saying that the first neutron bomb was build 1958 (and 1963 successfully tested in Nevada) and to put into perspective just how nasty neutron bombs are: the last live US neutron bomb was dismantled in 2003 (by bush senior) without any international agreements (and yes the Soviets and Chinese have/had them as well unknown if they still exist, it is assumed they do not, as neutron bombs are expensive and stop working after a couple decades due to half-life on the upside, the collected and refined tritium from these bombs can still be used to turn ordinary nukes into fusion bombs)

    • marco-91

      Bullshit. Neutron bomb are low-yield nuclear weapons that release majority of their energy as radiation. Radiation released by neutron bomb does not turn humans or animals to “juice”.

  • Cal

    Wow, the one thing I thought I'd never think to learn on The Spoony Website XD. Aint gonna lie though, that does sound like a pretty kick ass bomb. Thanks for the info ^_^

    • Stephen Martin

      Sounds like the Desolator from Red Alert 2

  • Mitch Hallgren

    I actually did guess 75 minutes. :D

  • Discordius


  • Discordius

    Even if you tried, Spoony, I think it impossible to make this movie any interesting. So the review was really boring.

  • Tim Horne

    Am I the only one who cracked up when he said “Jam Captain America down their throats, and at the same time protect yourself”

  • Tim Horne

    Am I the only one who cracked up when he said “Jam Captain America down their throats, and at the same time protect yourself”

  • Anonymous

    I always found this review hilarious (and the second one too). Sure the movie looks boring as hell, but Spoony was infact able to make this entertaining despite there being about ten actual minutes of real entertainment in the movie.

    It’s funny how Steve/Captain America got caught in a trap twice and then used as a guinea pig for FLAG and just whines a little.

  • Knatty Dreadnok

    Thanks man,

    Fucking hilarious!

  • Shane Stephenson

    Now, to be fair, this is clearly meant to be a pilot for a series. So it’s purpose is more to set up the Captain America concept and the basic formula that the series is likely to follow. Also, they seem to have been going for something similar to the Incredible Hulk in terms of tone; more realistic and more about Steve Rogers than Captain America, just like the Hulk series was more about Bruce Banner than the Hulk. Unfortunately, while that tone works for the Hulk, it just doesn’t jibe with Captain America, whose whole identity practically is consumed with being Captain America. Also, yeah, they totally wasted Reb Brown in this.

  • Shane Stephenson

    Now, to be fair, this is clearly meant to be a pilot for a series. So it’s purpose is more to set up the Captain America concept and the basic formula that the series is likely to follow. Also, they seem to have been going for something similar to the Incredible Hulk in terms of tone; more realistic and more about Steve Rogers than Captain America, just like the Hulk series was more about Bruce Banner than the Hulk. Unfortunately, while that tone works for the Hulk, it just doesn’t jibe with Captain America, whose whole identity practically is consumed with being Captain America. Also, yeah, they totally wasted Reb Brown in this.

  • Patric Arnold

    This movie tried to entail everything of the time….a more relaxed I’m just gonna see what the world has to offer attitude, the frisbee, Evel Knievel (the motor cycle outfit)…. and as you might imagine….FAILS!

  • Patric Arnold

    This movie tried to entail everything of the time….a more relaxed I’m just gonna see what the world has to offer attitude, the frisbee, Evel Knievel (the motor cycle outfit)…. and as you might imagine….FAILS!

    • Anonymous

      Well, it was the 70s, and you wouldn’t want to be TOO American. Hegemony and all that.

    • Anonymous

      Well, it was the 70s, and you wouldn’t want to be TOO American. Hegemony and all that.

    • Anonymous

      Well, it was the 70s, and you wouldn’t want to be TOO American. Hegemony and all that.

  • John Barton Haslach

    That is black lantern spoony.

  • joyce

    ONE (1) lame fight scene! No shield throwing! 74 min. before he dons the “disguise”!. Reb Brown makes bad flicks but seriously…. this one?! i agree what a waste…

  • joyce

    ONE (1) lame fight scene! No shield throwing! 74 min. before he dons the “disguise”!. Reb Brown makes bad flicks but seriously…. this one?! i agree what a waste…

  • charles

    Dammit Spoony! I had supressed the existence of this film to the blackest depths of my subconcious. Why did you have to dredge it back up? Why!!!!

  • Kenneth Eaton

    as bad as this piece of utter fecal matter is.. ITS A MASTERPIECE compared to the TV movies!

  • BigPowerLifter

    Reb is hung like a pony :) and barely can squeeze his meat in the wrapper.

  • BigPowerLifter


  • BigPowerLifter

    Remove all of my comments please. A stupid jerk off of a “friend” posted the 1st 2 comments.

  • BigPowerLifter

    Remove all of my comments please. A stupid jerk off of a “friend” posted the 1st 2 comments.

  • Anonymous

    Why on earth doesn’t Steve have a mural on the side of his van that Capt. America WOULD have? Like a bald eagle and a flag? C’mon, it’s the 70’s, EVERY van had a mural!

  • Mike Wallace

    Captain Lamerica, am I right?


  • John Barton Haslach

    Actually I think I might have realized something. The Steve Rogers in this movie might actually be named Steve Rogers Jr. And the real Captain America was Steve Rogers Sr. That raises the question of why people would make fun of the guy whose earliest issue covers depicted him punching Hitler?

  • Garrett Danger Platner

    i am actually terrified to watch this review, reb brown might blow up my head with his screams

    • Matt

      Prepare to be disappointed!

    • Matt

      Prepare to be disappointed!

  • christian_grym

    Heil the Spoony one for making an awesome review out of a really shitty movie.

  • christian_grym

    Heil the Spoony one for making an awesome review out of a really shitty movie.

  • Kira Alvis

    I don’t know why, but I love how Linkara (sorry if I slept it wrong), but I love the way how he talks. The way he says is S and C are just so cute!

    • Tony Molock

      linkara is spelled like that but slept instead of spelt. how

  • Jered Perez

    And on today, the day before the new movie hits theaters, SyFy airs this film and it’s sequel. And yes, it’s just as bad as Spoony says it is.

  • Michael Pearl

    I’m watching this damn move right now on syfy. My god it terrible.

  • Lucas Allen

    I guess you can say that we are all victims of curiousity.

    At least the highlight is that funny line, “But why? Brackett’s no mad dog killer he’s after something!” That had me on the floor for minutes!

  • Anonymous

    Reb Brown can wear a motorcycle helmet with wings painted on as well as Chris Evans.  Only Chris Evan’s movie was good.  No really, it was.

    • Brian Frang

      It was dramatically better than this pile of horse-shit, but it was still pretty freaking boring.

  • Brandon Curtis

    i finally got to watch both Reb brown captain America movies,they were great just to watch!

  • Eetu Heikkilä

    HOLY! i got it right! i actually guessed 1 hour and ten minutes and it only missed with 4 minutes :DD

  • Anonymous

    Gripping parking action!  “Who could want Steve and Carl Sagen dead?”  The Red Skull?  Baron Zemo?  The Viper?  No, because that would be awesome and we can’t have that!

  • Ares Lancaster

    This is getting a DVD release… THIS movie… They’ll do anything for a cash-in, won’t they?

    • Anonymous

      It already has. I work at a Wal-Mart. And I guess since the new movie is coming out, they wanted to put this out on DVD. But guess what? It’s a two pack….so you get both crappy movies. YAY. But the best part is this. For the second movie it says starring Christopher Lee (Lord of the Rings) but for the first move it says starring Reb Brown (Yor, Hunter of the Future). Maybe Yor will get a DVD release soon. :D

      • Anonymous

        I’m glad someone else noticed this. I just saw it today while looking at Skyrim (nooo self, wait to buy it, waaaaiiit.)
        Now I’d watched and re-watched Spoony’s reviews of both films and just HAD to pick it up. Seemed a little over priced at 14 dollars; if I can get the entireity of the first season of robotech for a ten spot, 14 for two movies like this seems a bit much. But I bought it all the same.
        Now to introduce the gf to the action star gem that is Reb Brown.

    • Jeremy Lee

      yeah thats true, in fact it was on sale for 5 bucks at wal-mart

  • Ares Lancaster

    This is getting a DVD release… THIS movie… They’ll do anything for a cash-in, won’t they?

  • CoHScrapper

    Thanks Spoony. This just gave me an idea to roll up a new character for CoH (City of Heroes). Yeah, sure everybody has rolled up various versions of Captain America, but NONE have rolled up a Reb Brown Captain America!

    BEHOLD!!!!! Street Justice/Shield Scrapper Reb Brown (Captain America), baby!

  • Private

    Captain America (Evel Knievel America / Super Dave Osborne America)

  • Jeremy Lee

    the salinger version was frickin great!!

  • stephen martin

    Not without his consent, against his wishes. He’s already said no to it. Now logically someone would assume that he may have changed his mind but without asking you have to go with the last information you have.

    • Jeremy Lee

      what are you talking about?

  • Lyle

    No, Suppressed Revolver is very possible. All you would need is a specialised barrel to screw the suppresor on.

    • Anonymous

      No. The gap between the barrel and cylinder means that gasses would escape anyway, meaning you’d still hear the gunshot with barely any reduction in volume. However, the Russian Nagant revolver presses the cylinder forward to achieve a gas seal before firing, rendering it one of the few revolvers that _can_ actually be suppressed, which was what was shown in the movie.

      • Sasha Red

        Video of a Silenced Revolver:

      • Tony Molock

        still that shit must be expensive as all hell in america.

        • jetman123

          Nagants aren’t that hard to get, especially given that they’re WW2 surplus. That being said, it’s an odd choice!

          • Tony Molock

            if you think about revolvers mostly deal a shit ton of damage so it might not be that crazy. especcitly underground

  • Anonymous

    This is the most boring, badly directed superhero movie I’ve ever seen.
    And I’ve seen Batman Begins.

    • robinhood9961

      Uhhh i thought batman begins was pretty good darn good

  • Raymond

    As bad as Superman Returns. Superman meets Lex Luthor face to face for like 3 minutes and he falls into an ocean. Movie was so bad and pointless when game adaptation came out, developers had to use TORNADO, which wasn’t in the movie, as BOSS.

    I remember sitting in movie theater wondering two things.
    1. How do people NEVER recognize Clark Kent as Superman when the only disguise tool is a pair of glasses.
    2. When will there be fight between Lex Luthor and Superman.


  • Alex Woods

     ugh… i saw this on Syfy and yet its better then their movies

  • Andrew Wesley

    Silenced revolvers are almost impossible… however you can pull it off with a Nagant revolver that incorporates a mechanism that forms a gas seal between the cylinder and the barrel.

  • Caleb Schmucker

    This is what happens when you let hippie liberals direct superhero movies…

  • Tony Wihlén

    Is it just me or did the rear bumper on his mellow wheels protrude like two meters from the car as it plummeted down the hillside?

  • Christopher McFarlane

    Reb Brown movies are always bad, Spoony One.

    • Brian Frang

      How DARE you insult Reb Brown?!? Especially on TSE. I’d downvote you, but I already did, and the site won’t let me do it again. And again. And again.

    • Fueldrop

      A thing doesn’t have to be good to be awesome.

  • Groverfield

    This got a DVD double-pack release. It was in my local video shop. It got cover-forward space as a prominent item (as opposed to binder-space, where you can at best find a movie by title, if they didn’t use shitty font or colorschema.)

  • Acuman Bearstorm

    Cartoons that i have seen back in my day (granted there were not too many) did not do a good job of making the two personas different, too, but i think that your explanation might work, especially if we assume (can we assume this even?) that not many people get to closely watch Super up close for a long amount of time.

  • Weedburner

    Spoony should review “CAPTAIN BERLIN” the Nazi Counterpart of Captain America…
    Yeah seriously there is a ultra crappry ultra low or no budget at all Movie made by some Germans,dont know if there FIlm Students or know anything about Movies.
    But that Movie would be soo crappy Spoony would love to hate it ;)

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