Chocolate

The Spoony One | Feb 17 2009 | more notation(s) | 

There’s been a lot of interest in Thai action flicks ever since Tony Jaa kickboxed his way into American theaters with the brutal and impactful Ong-Bak, a film about a country bumpkin tasked with recovering the village’s stolen holy Buddha statue’s head, which was stolen by gangsters because…uh…um…well they stole it, and the reluctant hero cripples untold hundreds of low-rent goons using the village’s bone-crushing Muay Thai techniques. It was pretty much on the same dramatic level as playing The Adventures of Bayou Billy, with a two-ton bronze Buddha head standing in for a girlfriend– but the fight choreography was so hard-hitting and just so goddamn painful to watch that it was hard not to “OOH” and “AAH” in sympathy for the hapless dopes lined up to fight Tony in each level– I mean, scene.

I think people were a little too eager to pass the action-star torch to Tony Jaa. In fact, Jackie Chan might as well have been carrying a golden flaming brand marked “You Sir, Are The Man” when he appeared in his brief cameo in the much-anticipated follow-up, The Protector, a film about a country bumpkin tasked with recovering the village’s stolen holy elephant, which was stolen by gangsters because…uh…um…oh, wait, I remember this one! The gangsters stole the elephant so that they could slaughter it, cover its bones in gold, and erect them behind their leader’s throne, both because legend holds that elephants confer immortality, and because it looked really cool.

It was a skin-peelingly stupid movie– in fact, I believe I went on record saying that the editing, direction and scriptwriting were lazier than even Plan 9 From Outer Space, which at least managed to tell a semi-coherent narrative. Characters would teleport in and out of scenes, appearing out of sheer plot convenience to find other characters even though they should have no possible knowledge where in all of Thailand they might be. The plot, which at face value is virtually identical to the previous movie, is somehow horribly convoluted to involve subplots about crooked cops and an incriminating video tape so that even the simple premise of “find bad guy, get elephant back” is rendered totally mystifying. And I’m pretty sure Tony Jaa’s only lines in two hours are shrieking “WHERE’S MY ELEPHANT?!!??!”

So while everyone else on the Internet was abuzz with excitement over Chocolate, made by the same director as The Protector and Ong-Bak, I took a rather grouchy wait-and-see stance. The story is as paper-thin as anything else the guy’s made, although I will grant you that it’s unlike anything else I’ve seen before. It’s about a girl named Zen, the autistic daughter of a Yakuza enforcer who becomes an idiot savant of martial arts by obsessively watching kung-fu movies. When her mother– also a former mob boss– becomes terribly ill, Zen’s brother Mike works desperately to pay for her medication. In desperation, he takes Zen to collect money from their mother’s former mob associates. Even he’s not fully aware of Zen’s prowess until their attempts to beg for money are met with scorn and violence, which awakens a kung-fu buzzsaw inside of Zen. Combined with her preternatural autistic ability to focus and her ungodly retard strength, she tears apart the entire Yakuza power structure.

Which you’ve gotta admit, sounds pretty freaking hardcore. Although I made up the part about ungodly retard strength. I’m not sure whether or not you should be offended by the concept. The movie isn’t exactly laughing at autism, but it’s certainly not taking the condition seriously.

There’s a lot to like about this movie, and it’s clearly been written and made by people with a real love and respect for the martial arts genre. Being a huge fan of the genre myself, you could analyze every single move, location, and plot element to find a shout-out to another movie. There’s a fight inside an ice-cutting factory, which causes Zen to re-create Bruce Lee’s moves and mannerisms from The Big Boss, as well as references to Kill Bill, The Matrix, you name it. My favorite was a quiet moment where Zen flips pieces of chocolate into her mouth like Jackie Chan in Operation Condor.

Anyway, the film is largely repetitive through the first hour. Zen approaches a criminal figure in his ice/pork/chocolate factory, asks for money, gets rebuked, asks again, and the guy finally gets annoyed enough that he orders his army of fanatically-loyal minimum-wage workers to attack, who then promptly get the shit kicked out of them. Then she gets the money and finds another factory. The real highlight of the film comes near the end when, unable to stop Zen’s fists of fury, the Yakuza do the only sensible thing:

They get their own retarded dude.

Well what else would you do?

It’s a classic showdown where Zen’s eiditic memory of mindless goon tactics fail her against the “Epileptic Boxer” and his twitchy, flailing fighting technique I’ve dubbed Spaz Fu. He’s not really epileptic as the credits have named him. His constant thrashing and grunting is more symptomatic of someone with Tourette’s Syndrome. Even so, it’s a truly surreal moment, and a first for action cinema watching a breakdancing, spastic Yakuza legbreaker who’s managed to not only overcome Tourette’s, but has turned it into a deadly martial arts weapon.

So yeah, I had a lot of fun with it, and I’m pretty sure you would too.

Here’s my problem, and believe me, I feel bad bringing this up knowing how many people busted their asses (literally) to make this movie.

It’s not very well made.

I’m sorry, it’s not. I liked the characters, I liked the premise, and I admire the choreography and athleticism of the action scenes. Really, the physicality is breathtaking. But I wasn’t really watching a fight; I was watching a dance. It looks choreographed. Every move, every stunt, every hit, it’s like they’re all moving at three-quarters speed. The punches and kicks are too slow, they don’t look like they’re connecting, and they don’t look like they’re delivered with any kind of force. It looks like they’re play-fighting instead of actually fighting, and that’s something Jackie Chan would never have stood for.

Just go and watch one of Jackie’s movies. The guy looks like he’s fighting for his life in every single fight. He moves with speed, his punches have SNAP to them, and when he gets hit, it looks like it fucking hurts. Once you realize how much he has to keep in his head, the precision of his attacks, the timing of his moves, and he still manages to act, it speaks a lot for his physical and dramatic talents. Jackie would hate this movie because the choreography is slow, sloppy, and violates some of his cardinal rules. It looks staged. The worst thing any stuntman can do in a movie like this is wait to get hit, literally holding up and staring slack-jawed for a half-second while the hero wheels about and kicks him in the face. It looks bad, and that’s basically every hit in this movie.

I guess that means I’m still not ready to pass the torch to anyone. Chocolate was good, but all it could do was pantomime great movies.

Too bad.

  • Cyrus

    I can understand some of your points but… It’s a 90 pound girl beating the hell out of masses of guys. What’s not to absolutely love?

  • Cyrus

    I can understand some of your points but… It’s a 90 pound girl beating the hell out of masses of guys. What’s not to absolutely love?

  • Squirrel

    still worth a looksie, i mean how many autistic schoolgirl hit-em-up flicks are there?

  • Squirrel

    still worth a looksie, i mean how many autistic schoolgirl hit-em-up flicks are there?

  • http://lobby-hell.livejournal.com/ Cal

    Hey Spoony, good review as usual. Hadn’t heard about this movie before but it sounds…weird. By the way, I was just wondering, do you still plan to review those Steven Seagal energy drinks? I seem to recall you mentioned it ages ago but it hasn’t come up lately.

  • http://lobby-hell.livejournal.com/ Cal

    Hey Spoony, good review as usual. Hadn’t heard about this movie before but it sounds…weird. By the way, I was just wondering, do you still plan to review those Steven Seagal energy drinks? I seem to recall you mentioned it ages ago but it hasn’t come up lately.

  • http://lobby-hell.livejournal.com/ Cal

    Hey Spoony, good review as usual. Hadn’t heard about this movie before but it sounds…weird. By the way, I was just wondering, do you still plan to review those Steven Seagal energy drinks? I seem to recall you mentioned it ages ago but it hasn’t come up lately.

  • http://lobby-hell.livejournal.com/ Cal

    Hey Spoony, good review as usual. Hadn’t heard about this movie before but it sounds…weird. By the way, I was just wondering, do you still plan to review those Steven Seagal energy drinks? I seem to recall you mentioned it ages ago but it hasn’t come up lately.

  • Aard

    Never heard of this movie, and now hearing about it, I shall stay away from it. A kung fu movie about mentaly chalanged fighters? Might as well watch the special olimpics. Just sounds profoundly stupid to me. But all that aside, my biggest complaint would be, you cant learn martial arts from watching tv, even if its a tv program on teaching martial arts. Espesualy from kung fu movies. Thats all hollywood, its fake. Would much rather watch Jackie anyday.

  • Aard

    Never heard of this movie, and now hearing about it, I shall stay away from it. A kung fu movie about mentaly chalanged fighters? Might as well watch the special olimpics. Just sounds profoundly stupid to me. But all that aside, my biggest complaint would be, you cant learn martial arts from watching tv, even if its a tv program on teaching martial arts. Espesualy from kung fu movies. Thats all hollywood, its fake. Would much rather watch Jackie anyday.

  • Aard

    Never heard of this movie, and now hearing about it, I shall stay away from it. A kung fu movie about mentaly chalanged fighters? Might as well watch the special olimpics. Just sounds profoundly stupid to me. But all that aside, my biggest complaint would be, you cant learn martial arts from watching tv, even if its a tv program on teaching martial arts. Espesualy from kung fu movies. Thats all hollywood, its fake. Would much rather watch Jackie anyday.

  • Aard

    Never heard of this movie, and now hearing about it, I shall stay away from it. A kung fu movie about mentaly chalanged fighters? Might as well watch the special olimpics. Just sounds profoundly stupid to me. But all that aside, my biggest complaint would be, you cant learn martial arts from watching tv, even if its a tv program on teaching martial arts. Espesualy from kung fu movies. Thats all hollywood, its fake. Would much rather watch Jackie anyday.

  • 12Sided

    awww…. oh well I’ll still check the movie out ^_^ but I wont get my hopes too far up… really I just want to see the girl kick ass cause that trailer was awesome ^^;;

  • 12Sided

    awww…. oh well I’ll still check the movie out ^_^ but I wont get my hopes too far up… really I just want to see the girl kick ass cause that trailer was awesome ^^;;

  • Olivaw

    I have to say, as bad as the Protector’s story was, the one long four minute take where he’s climbing the building and fighting lots of dudes pretty much justified the movie’s existence.

    And the bit where he breaks the bones of like a hundred guys.

    And that part where he leaps off a helipad and knees a guy in the chest as he hangs from a helicopter.

    Basically I didn’t really care about the movie beyond a simple justification to see Tony Jaa kick more ass. I guess that makes me a bad person? I don’t know.

    Anyway this Chocolate movie sounds pretty entertaining, even if the choreography is a bit slow. I will probably see it. at some point.

  • Olivaw

    I have to say, as bad as the Protector’s story was, the one long four minute take where he’s climbing the building and fighting lots of dudes pretty much justified the movie’s existence.

    And the bit where he breaks the bones of like a hundred guys.

    And that part where he leaps off a helipad and knees a guy in the chest as he hangs from a helicopter.

    Basically I didn’t really care about the movie beyond a simple justification to see Tony Jaa kick more ass. I guess that makes me a bad person? I don’t know.

    Anyway this Chocolate movie sounds pretty entertaining, even if the choreography is a bit slow. I will probably see it. at some point.

  • Olivaw

    I have to say, as bad as the Protector’s story was, the one long four minute take where he’s climbing the building and fighting lots of dudes pretty much justified the movie’s existence.

    And the bit where he breaks the bones of like a hundred guys.

    And that part where he leaps off a helipad and knees a guy in the chest as he hangs from a helicopter.

    Basically I didn’t really care about the movie beyond a simple justification to see Tony Jaa kick more ass. I guess that makes me a bad person? I don’t know.

    Anyway this Chocolate movie sounds pretty entertaining, even if the choreography is a bit slow. I will probably see it. at some point.

  • Olivaw

    I have to say, as bad as the Protector’s story was, the one long four minute take where he’s climbing the building and fighting lots of dudes pretty much justified the movie’s existence.

    And the bit where he breaks the bones of like a hundred guys.

    And that part where he leaps off a helipad and knees a guy in the chest as he hangs from a helicopter.

    Basically I didn’t really care about the movie beyond a simple justification to see Tony Jaa kick more ass. I guess that makes me a bad person? I don’t know.

    Anyway this Chocolate movie sounds pretty entertaining, even if the choreography is a bit slow. I will probably see it. at some point.

  • Thrash Til’ Death

    I saw Chocolate a while back. I wholeheartedly agree with you on the subject of the choreography, and I’m glad someone brought it up. I absolutely loved Ong-Bak (and even Warrior King – as The Protector is known here in the UK – despite how exultantly stupid it was) mostly for Tony Jaa’s amazing physicality. While Jeeja Yanin is an excellent martial artist, her moves just don’t have the same “whoa! Knocked The Fuck Out!” factor that Jaa’s did in Ong-Bak, and by that token alone it’s a massively inferior film. It was still good, but I’ll reserve my excitement for Ong-Bak 2.

  • Thrash Til’ Death

    I saw Chocolate a while back. I wholeheartedly agree with you on the subject of the choreography, and I’m glad someone brought it up. I absolutely loved Ong-Bak (and even Warrior King – as The Protector is known here in the UK – despite how exultantly stupid it was) mostly for Tony Jaa’s amazing physicality. While Jeeja Yanin is an excellent martial artist, her moves just don’t have the same “whoa! Knocked The Fuck Out!” factor that Jaa’s did in Ong-Bak, and by that token alone it’s a massively inferior film. It was still good, but I’ll reserve my excitement for Ong-Bak 2.

  • Thrash Til’ Death

    I saw Chocolate a while back. I wholeheartedly agree with you on the subject of the choreography, and I’m glad someone brought it up. I absolutely loved Ong-Bak (and even Warrior King – as The Protector is known here in the UK – despite how exultantly stupid it was) mostly for Tony Jaa’s amazing physicality. While Jeeja Yanin is an excellent martial artist, her moves just don’t have the same “whoa! Knocked The Fuck Out!” factor that Jaa’s did in Ong-Bak, and by that token alone it’s a massively inferior film. It was still good, but I’ll reserve my excitement for Ong-Bak 2.

  • Thrash Til’ Death

    I saw Chocolate a while back. I wholeheartedly agree with you on the subject of the choreography, and I’m glad someone brought it up. I absolutely loved Ong-Bak (and even Warrior King – as The Protector is known here in the UK – despite how exultantly stupid it was) mostly for Tony Jaa’s amazing physicality. While Jeeja Yanin is an excellent martial artist, her moves just don’t have the same “whoa! Knocked The Fuck Out!” factor that Jaa’s did in Ong-Bak, and by that token alone it’s a massively inferior film. It was still good, but I’ll reserve my excitement for Ong-Bak 2.

  • sean

    i’ve always wondered, with any and all martial arts movies… you have a massive mobster-esk gang, full of gun runners, drug dealers, paid government officials, yadda yadda yadda.

    and nobody ever seems to be able to hit something with a gun. most scenes it looks like anyone with half a brain would be able to take out the room with a grenade or an uzi. hell, a tommy gun would work. or a shotgun. anything really. dodging a 9mm round is one thing, even from a semi auto pistol, but 90 of them? flying at you at speed?

    iono. just seems to bug me in most martial arts movies =P still, that aside, i got nothing against the genre as it is.

  • sean

    i’ve always wondered, with any and all martial arts movies… you have a massive mobster-esk gang, full of gun runners, drug dealers, paid government officials, yadda yadda yadda.

    and nobody ever seems to be able to hit something with a gun. most scenes it looks like anyone with half a brain would be able to take out the room with a grenade or an uzi. hell, a tommy gun would work. or a shotgun. anything really. dodging a 9mm round is one thing, even from a semi auto pistol, but 90 of them? flying at you at speed?

    iono. just seems to bug me in most martial arts movies =P still, that aside, i got nothing against the genre as it is.

  • sean

    i’ve always wondered, with any and all martial arts movies… you have a massive mobster-esk gang, full of gun runners, drug dealers, paid government officials, yadda yadda yadda.

    and nobody ever seems to be able to hit something with a gun. most scenes it looks like anyone with half a brain would be able to take out the room with a grenade or an uzi. hell, a tommy gun would work. or a shotgun. anything really. dodging a 9mm round is one thing, even from a semi auto pistol, but 90 of them? flying at you at speed?

    iono. just seems to bug me in most martial arts movies =P still, that aside, i got nothing against the genre as it is.

  • sean

    i’ve always wondered, with any and all martial arts movies… you have a massive mobster-esk gang, full of gun runners, drug dealers, paid government officials, yadda yadda yadda.

    and nobody ever seems to be able to hit something with a gun. most scenes it looks like anyone with half a brain would be able to take out the room with a grenade or an uzi. hell, a tommy gun would work. or a shotgun. anything really. dodging a 9mm round is one thing, even from a semi auto pistol, but 90 of them? flying at you at speed?

    iono. just seems to bug me in most martial arts movies =P still, that aside, i got nothing against the genre as it is.

  • DamonD

    Still, ‘The Protector’ did bring us Spoony’s awesome joke about the Goon Bell.

    I caught ‘The Forbidden Kingdom’ on DVD a couple months ago. Chan’s 54, Jet Li is 45, both guys have a list of injuries that would shock Mick Foley. Yet damned if the two ol’ codgers can’t still fight with speed and snap and conviction. Can’t say just how much I admire that.

  • DamonD

    Still, ‘The Protector’ did bring us Spoony’s awesome joke about the Goon Bell.

    I caught ‘The Forbidden Kingdom’ on DVD a couple months ago. Chan’s 54, Jet Li is 45, both guys have a list of injuries that would shock Mick Foley. Yet damned if the two ol’ codgers can’t still fight with speed and snap and conviction. Can’t say just how much I admire that.

  • DamonD

    Still, ‘The Protector’ did bring us Spoony’s awesome joke about the Goon Bell.

    I caught ‘The Forbidden Kingdom’ on DVD a couple months ago. Chan’s 54, Jet Li is 45, both guys have a list of injuries that would shock Mick Foley. Yet damned if the two ol’ codgers can’t still fight with speed and snap and conviction. Can’t say just how much I admire that.

  • DamonD

    Still, ‘The Protector’ did bring us Spoony’s awesome joke about the Goon Bell.

    I caught ‘The Forbidden Kingdom’ on DVD a couple months ago. Chan’s 54, Jet Li is 45, both guys have a list of injuries that would shock Mick Foley. Yet damned if the two ol’ codgers can’t still fight with speed and snap and conviction. Can’t say just how much I admire that.

  • Resident01

    Guess I’ll make this a rental . . .

  • Resident01

    Guess I’ll make this a rental . . .

  • Resident01

    Guess I’ll make this a rental . . .

  • Resident01

    Guess I’ll make this a rental . . .

  • Sirabhorn

    I understand what you are saying about the choreography. It does seem a bit slow compared to the pros. But I believe that this is just the first step for her. I mean, this chick has some serious potential. She kicks major ass, does all her stunts and all that good stuff, and she is not portrayed as a sex figure (as hollywood would have done). I enjoyed this movie for the fights and stuff and I look forward to more movies by her, which hopefully they will indeed have faster/more realistic choreography.

    Oh, and about the Tony Jaa movies. Really, who cares if the plot is as shallow as a puddle? The fighting/stunts are amazing and very entertaining and that is really all I watch those movies for. I want to see Ong-Bak 2! :)

  • Sirabhorn

    I understand what you are saying about the choreography. It does seem a bit slow compared to the pros. But I believe that this is just the first step for her. I mean, this chick has some serious potential. She kicks major ass, does all her stunts and all that good stuff, and she is not portrayed as a sex figure (as hollywood would have done). I enjoyed this movie for the fights and stuff and I look forward to more movies by her, which hopefully they will indeed have faster/more realistic choreography.

    Oh, and about the Tony Jaa movies. Really, who cares if the plot is as shallow as a puddle? The fighting/stunts are amazing and very entertaining and that is really all I watch those movies for. I want to see Ong-Bak 2! :)

  • Sirabhorn

    I understand what you are saying about the choreography. It does seem a bit slow compared to the pros. But I believe that this is just the first step for her. I mean, this chick has some serious potential. She kicks major ass, does all her stunts and all that good stuff, and she is not portrayed as a sex figure (as hollywood would have done). I enjoyed this movie for the fights and stuff and I look forward to more movies by her, which hopefully they will indeed have faster/more realistic choreography.

    Oh, and about the Tony Jaa movies. Really, who cares if the plot is as shallow as a puddle? The fighting/stunts are amazing and very entertaining and that is really all I watch those movies for. I want to see Ong-Bak 2! :)

  • Sirabhorn

    I understand what you are saying about the choreography. It does seem a bit slow compared to the pros. But I believe that this is just the first step for her. I mean, this chick has some serious potential. She kicks major ass, does all her stunts and all that good stuff, and she is not portrayed as a sex figure (as hollywood would have done). I enjoyed this movie for the fights and stuff and I look forward to more movies by her, which hopefully they will indeed have faster/more realistic choreography.

    Oh, and about the Tony Jaa movies. Really, who cares if the plot is as shallow as a puddle? The fighting/stunts are amazing and very entertaining and that is really all I watch those movies for. I want to see Ong-Bak 2! :)

  • Boadicia

    I’m not surprised the movie doesn’t take autism seriously. The condition is still widely misunderstood in Japan, and most Japanese probably haven’t even heard of it (though there is a manga called With the Light that attempts to shed some light on the condition).

    I hope to find this at a Blockbuster, though. I’ve got to see that fight with the Tourette’s dude.

  • Boadicia

    I’m not surprised the movie doesn’t take autism seriously. The condition is still widely misunderstood in Japan, and most Japanese probably haven’t even heard of it (though there is a manga called With the Light that attempts to shed some light on the condition).

    I hope to find this at a Blockbuster, though. I’ve got to see that fight with the Tourette’s dude.

  • Sirabhorn

    To the person above (Boadicia):

    Just to let you know, this is a Thai movie, not Japanese.

  • Sirabhorn

    To the person above (Boadicia):

    Just to let you know, this is a Thai movie, not Japanese.

  • Sirabhorn

    To the person above (Boadicia):

    Just to let you know, this is a Thai movie, not Japanese.

  • Sirabhorn

    To the person above (Boadicia):

    Just to let you know, this is a Thai movie, not Japanese.

  • http://www.vaughnfry.com/ Vaughn

    Noah, that isn’t Jackie Chan in The Protector. I did a double take myself, then I turned on the DVD commentary to find that they found a guy who looks like him. Pretty lame all things considering; finding a guy to fake passing the torch.

  • http://www.vaughnfry.com/ Vaughn

    Noah, that isn’t Jackie Chan in The Protector. I did a double take myself, then I turned on the DVD commentary to find that they found a guy who looks like him. Pretty lame all things considering; finding a guy to fake passing the torch.

  • http://www.vaughnfry.com/ Vaughn

    Noah, that isn’t Jackie Chan in The Protector. I did a double take myself, then I turned on the DVD commentary to find that they found a guy who looks like him. Pretty lame all things considering; finding a guy to fake passing the torch.

  • http://www.vaughnfry.com Vaughn

    Noah, that isn’t Jackie Chan in The Protector. I did a double take myself, then I turned on the DVD commentary to find that they found a guy who looks like him. Pretty lame all things considering; finding a guy to fake passing the torch.

  • Adam

    If you want to watch an awesome Thai movie, you need to see Born to Fight. It is about a group of terrorists that take a small Thai village hostage. A cop and a bunch of High School athletes are the only ones who can stop them. The plot is silly to the extreme, but the stunts and fights are hard hitting. During the credits, they show the director jumping up and down with joy after a stunt where a guy almost gets his head run over.

    I think there might be multiple versions of this movie, but the Dragon Dynasty release. It has a good video quality and lots of extras.

  • Adam

    If you want to watch an awesome Thai movie, you need to see Born to Fight. It is about a group of terrorists that take a small Thai village hostage. A cop and a bunch of High School athletes are the only ones who can stop them. The plot is silly to the extreme, but the stunts and fights are hard hitting. During the credits, they show the director jumping up and down with joy after a stunt where a guy almost gets his head run over.

    I think there might be multiple versions of this movie, but the Dragon Dynasty release. It has a good video quality and lots of extras.

  • Adam

    If you want to watch an awesome Thai movie, you need to see Born to Fight. It is about a group of terrorists that take a small Thai village hostage. A cop and a bunch of High School athletes are the only ones who can stop them. The plot is silly to the extreme, but the stunts and fights are hard hitting. During the credits, they show the director jumping up and down with joy after a stunt where a guy almost gets his head run over.

    I think there might be multiple versions of this movie, but the Dragon Dynasty release. It has a good video quality and lots of extras.

  • Adam

    If you want to watch an awesome Thai movie, you need to see Born to Fight. It is about a group of terrorists that take a small Thai village hostage. A cop and a bunch of High School athletes are the only ones who can stop them. The plot is silly to the extreme, but the stunts and fights are hard hitting. During the credits, they show the director jumping up and down with joy after a stunt where a guy almost gets his head run over.

    I think there might be multiple versions of this movie, but the Dragon Dynasty release. It has a good video quality and lots of extras.

  • Krachan

    Can’t believe you aren’t more impressed with protector! That movie was awesome beyond comprehension (though the story, and I guess about half of the all the characters with lines were completely necessary). It has one of the longest uncut fightscenes, plus all around fight choreography originality and some great fight scene shooting… Man I gotta see that movie again

  • Krachan

    Can’t believe you aren’t more impressed with protector! That movie was awesome beyond comprehension (though the story, and I guess about half of the all the characters with lines were completely necessary). It has one of the longest uncut fightscenes, plus all around fight choreography originality and some great fight scene shooting… Man I gotta see that movie again

  • Krachan

    Can’t believe you aren’t more impressed with protector! That movie was awesome beyond comprehension (though the story, and I guess about half of the all the characters with lines were completely necessary). It has one of the longest uncut fightscenes, plus all around fight choreography originality and some great fight scene shooting… Man I gotta see that movie again

  • Krachan

    Can’t believe you aren’t more impressed with protector! That movie was awesome beyond comprehension (though the story, and I guess about half of the all the characters with lines were completely necessary). It has one of the longest uncut fightscenes, plus all around fight choreography originality and some great fight scene shooting… Man I gotta see that movie again

  • Krachan

    * Unnecessary! Sorry about that

  • Krachan

    * Unnecessary! Sorry about that

  • Krachan

    * Unnecessary! Sorry about that

  • http://www.spoonyexperiment.com/ Spoony

    THAT WASN’T EVEN JACKIE??!?

    Now I REALLY hate that movie!!

  • http://www.spoonyexperiment.com/ Spoony

    THAT WASN’T EVEN JACKIE??!?

    Now I REALLY hate that movie!!

  • http://www.spoonyexperiment.com/ Spoony

    THAT WASN’T EVEN JACKIE??!?

    Now I REALLY hate that movie!!

  • http://www.spoonyexperiment.com Spoony

    THAT WASN’T EVEN JACKIE??!?

    Now I REALLY hate that movie!!

  • Booze Zombie

    Autism and retardation tend not to go hand-in-hand with one another, but hey… I’m sure there’s a blind, retarded, autistic guy out there somewhere for the Internet to LOL at like the sick fucks they are.

    Anyway, I’ve got Autism. If I had the ability to learn martial arts by watching Jackie Chan get drunk, then I’m sure I’d have it made. Since this isn’t how it works, however… well, fuck.

    Seriously though, I’m noticing a lot of insulting terms in these comments… what the hell, guys?

  • Booze Zombie

    Autism and retardation tend not to go hand-in-hand with one another, but hey… I’m sure there’s a blind, retarded, autistic guy out there somewhere for the Internet to LOL at like the sick fucks they are.

    Anyway, I’ve got Autism. If I had the ability to learn martial arts by watching Jackie Chan get drunk, then I’m sure I’d have it made. Since this isn’t how it works, however… well, fuck.

    Seriously though, I’m noticing a lot of insulting terms in these comments… what the hell, guys?

  • Booze Zombie

    Autism and retardation tend not to go hand-in-hand with one another, but hey… I’m sure there’s a blind, retarded, autistic guy out there somewhere for the Internet to LOL at like the sick fucks they are.

    Anyway, I’ve got Autism. If I had the ability to learn martial arts by watching Jackie Chan get drunk, then I’m sure I’d have it made. Since this isn’t how it works, however… well, fuck.

    Seriously though, I’m noticing a lot of insulting terms in these comments… what the hell, guys?

  • Booze Zombie

    Autism and retardation tend not to go hand-in-hand with one another, but hey… I’m sure there’s a blind, retarded, autistic guy out there somewhere for the Internet to LOL at like the sick fucks they are.

    Anyway, I’ve got Autism. If I had the ability to learn martial arts by watching Jackie Chan get drunk, then I’m sure I’d have it made. Since this isn’t how it works, however… well, fuck.

    Seriously though, I’m noticing a lot of insulting terms in these comments… what the hell, guys?

  • Fork

    Tony Jaa’s stuff isn’t even that impressive. All he does is jump up and hit people in the head with his elbow(s). Pretty lame, really.

    • http://twitter.com/Kashadoo Kashadoo

      Are you a complete fucking retard with your “pretty lame”?

    • http://twitter.com/warrior527 Dan Holmes

      Do you know the damage the elbow(s) can do? Your elbows are mostly pure bone. It is like smashing a rock into your head.

  • Fork

    Tony Jaa’s stuff isn’t even that impressive. All he does is jump up and hit people in the head with his elbow(s). Pretty lame, really.

  • bushidogamer

    I understand your sentiments, especially coming from someone who’s parents forced him to watch horribly dubbed thai soap operas back when he was a kid *Shudder*. The things I saw… don’t think I’ll ever be right again. *Thousand mile stare*

  • bushidogamer

    I understand your sentiments, especially coming from someone who’s parents forced him to watch horribly dubbed thai soap operas back when he was a kid *Shudder*. The things I saw… don’t think I’ll ever be right again. *Thousand mile stare*

  • bushidogamer

    I understand your sentiments, especially coming from someone who’s parents forced him to watch horribly dubbed thai soap operas back when he was a kid *Shudder*. The things I saw… don’t think I’ll ever be right again. *Thousand mile stare*

  • bushidogamer

    I understand your sentiments, especially coming from someone who’s parents forced him to watch horribly dubbed thai soap operas back when he was a kid *Shudder*. The things I saw… don’t think I’ll ever be right again. *Thousand mile stare*

  • JetVoodoo

    I rented “Chocolate” this past weekend and I really liked it. Zen is WAY awesome and if you watch the behind the scenes video (which okay, is really just a promo for the film) you’ll find out it took a total of 4 YEARS to get this thing made, with 2 of those years just being dedicated to Jija Yanin’s (Zen) training. A lot better put together than Tony Jaa’s last two film I think fans of kung fu/action movies will get a kick out it. I already got it on my Christmas list :-)

  • JetVoodoo

    I rented “Chocolate” this past weekend and I really liked it. Zen is WAY awesome and if you watch the behind the scenes video (which okay, is really just a promo for the film) you’ll find out it took a total of 4 YEARS to get this thing made, with 2 of those years just being dedicated to Jija Yanin’s (Zen) training. A lot better put together than Tony Jaa’s last two film I think fans of kung fu/action movies will get a kick out it. I already got it on my Christmas list :-)

  • JetVoodoo

    I rented “Chocolate” this past weekend and I really liked it. Zen is WAY awesome and if you watch the behind the scenes video (which okay, is really just a promo for the film) you’ll find out it took a total of 4 YEARS to get this thing made, with 2 of those years just being dedicated to Jija Yanin’s (Zen) training. A lot better put together than Tony Jaa’s last two film I think fans of kung fu/action movies will get a kick out it. I already got it on my Christmas list :-)

  • JetVoodoo

    I rented “Chocolate” this past weekend and I really liked it. Zen is WAY awesome and if you watch the behind the scenes video (which okay, is really just a promo for the film) you’ll find out it took a total of 4 YEARS to get this thing made, with 2 of those years just being dedicated to Jija Yanin’s (Zen) training. A lot better put together than Tony Jaa’s last two film I think fans of kung fu/action movies will get a kick out it. I already got it on my Christmas list :-)

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