It’s Magick! We don’t have to explain anything.
I’m sorry I’m about to do this, but this is the first time and probably last time I’ll get to. FIRST!
sorry i had to
i see your shirt and cast a disappointed glare at my PS3. It only does massive disappointment.
It only makes awesome shirts
the librarian grapist joke was hilarious but too long
the PSN network is up In the US so….ha
not the full us
Why the flying hell did I have to read this announcement buried in the 11-hours-prior comments on The Spoony Experiment?!?
*turns on PS3*
Great… and I was actually planning on DOING things today…
I am amazed at this.. and the fact I think I’ve actually watched this movie.
So much awesome. But.. really.. land mines? What happens if you start sleep walking? You’d be DOOMED!
I wouldn’t say “shot on shiteo” so much as 80′s Doctor Who when the budget ran out. Note that I love Doctor Who and first saw it in the 80′s before you yell at me, folks.
Dude! I frickin loved the Lone Wolf series. I thought I was the only one who read those!
awesome shirt lol spoony is on his shit
so you actually did get around to putting those land mines in. well played sir did get around to putting those land mines in. well played sir
I have one of those fake cigarettes you used when you were talking to your lawyer. I love those things :)
WTF am I watching?
Ulric in the shower scene looks alot like…
Wait… ANGRY JOE!?
Kidnapping princesses was the medieval equivalent of eHarmony.
4:30 – Did they have to strip the wizards down and tie them up like that? This is getting weird.
5:17 – Agh! And now there’s a shirtless bear involved! I don’t like where this movie is going!
5:32 – EXCEPT THAT! It’s already implied these guys are gonna get bent over a table when Zed shows up, why is the movie doing this?!
6:42 – Furlongs? Is that Imperial or U.S. Furlongs?
9:19 – Maybe there are mutant versions of Ropers living in their world that look like street lamps.
10:25 – This should be the moment when Robocop shows up to shoot Ulrich in the nuts.
15:07 – Salazin is reeaaaady! BOWNsaaaw!
16:30 – Why don’t they just try pissing on the library registration? What? It’s the most productive thing they’ve done since this movie started.
19:55 – It’s the Ripper!
23:24 – The greatest sorcerer, but not the greatest wizard? Is this movie based on 3rd Edition rules?
Horrible movie. Horrible. I’m surprised you survived it, Spoony. You might wanna give the movie back though; Conan the Librarian might show up and chop a critic in half, vertically.
And this isn’t a Sega CD game WHY?
You get a hundred Internets for referencing Whitest Kids U Know and Mentos in the same breath. XD
Heh. I love the timing with that shirt, Spoony. 80710A06 shirt on the day PSN comes back online :P
23:40 Who keeps boxes lying around? Honestly!
Don’t you talk about my boxes! I like boxes! In fact, I even love boxing! That’s why I watch TN– Oh wait, that’s wrestling… Never mind…
When the two heros stumble on the grade school play, I was hoping that the Torgo lookin’ protagonist would shamble up on stage and stab a cardboard dragon.
Loved the review there Spoony. Liked how you were wearing that Sony online connection error shirt, with the irony that supposedly it came back online today LOL.
And with all the library destruction jokes in this review, I’m surprised you didn’t pull out footage of Conan the Librarian from UHF.
And Ulrich is the Glenn Quagmire of magicians! I bet he gets more ass than a toilet seat. Now I really want to see a guy pick up a girl and then go “I shall hump thy asshole!”
…and then she’d reply with “So you wanna hump my brother?… O.k., he’s over there!”
That Grape Mentos guy is easily the coolest mother fucking thing I’ve ever seen.
Yeah. He’s unf***ing believable!
Sorry, couldn’t resist. :-)
I want to see a “Mr. Mentos is the Grapist” shirt!!
Awww, for a second there I thought you were going to review the old Sierra game Lords of Magic… And then you mentioned it briefly… I assume you played it at some point?
Thanks for bringing it up, now I have to dig it up again.. I heard there was a good mod for the game that balanced it out.
Gah, I’m going to lose at least a month to this game you only mentioned in passing!
You just reminded me of Sierra’s Leisure Suit Larry for some odd reason. I could imagine putting a joke in that review involving that game. LOL
Oh dammit! I lost my pen. Welp, time to summon up Satan!
so apparently wizards can restore people’s virginity. that’s great?
see True Blood. it’s touched on there.
Wasn’t “True Blood” about vampires and not wizards?
If I described a wizard, vampire, (or ninja) by just their powers in fiction you wouldn’t be able to tell them apart.
so apparently wizards can restore virginity. That’s great?
I don’t know why, but I am fully incapable of hating that movie. It’s so committed to its silly premise that you just can’t help but love it. Beastmaster 2? That was a shameless attempt at a cash-in with a really bad idea for a plot twist. This? This is a labor of (horribly misguided) love…
anyone else think the theme sounded like star trek TNG?
dude, i busted out laughing when i saw Macho Man go “OH YEAH!” KABOOM
“But thou can’t have none of them…until later, then thou can hump thy ass off!”
That was priceless! Best line in the movie.
I’m glad you found it
I used to work in a library and I can confirm that all these things happened: exploding Slim Jim/Randy Savage incidents (we called them Macho Matters), Gushers spraying wildly like a middle school boy who stumbled into a porn convention, and even gruff British-accented giant birds. The campus could have upgraded the dorms and collapsing art buildings, but nope, those had to play second fiddle to library upkeep.
I’m pretty sure it’s a Scottish bird. Irn Bru. Mahde frum gur’turs!
Okay, the theme song sounds… quite a lot like the Star Trek TNG theme. But a game version.
So it’s kinda like “Those Who Hunt Elves” except the time travel is reversed and it’s really bad.
I must say, this review was hilarious. Though I could tell you seemed to regard it with more fond memories than that other fantasy movie you mentioned.Well done Spoony!
Less irony, more genuine Irn Bru labeling. ;)
Wait…wait… Spoony One! You read the Lone Wolf and Grey Star books? I’ve never met another person who’s even heard of them. (Snif) I don’t feel so alone now. Any chance of a review of those books or the Pen and Paper RPG of the same name?
Interestingly, apparently Ron Jeremy is in this movie somewhere
…which is quite fitting, considering this movie has the same kind of acting and special effects as “Super Hornio Brothers”.
So when you rent a movie like this, what’s your excuse? It’s kinda like renting hard core interracial porn. Does the librarian just look up at you and wonder what kinda sick shit your into, lol!
…which brings me back to Brad.
Can you imagine trying to rent “Nudist Colony of the Dead” or “Curse of the Cannibal Confederates” without the video store clerk giving you funny looks?
For the record the clerk is known to have answered to the former title being rented by bursting into the song, “It’s an inky-dinky do-dah morning.”
o/~ Inky-dinky do-dah o/~
o/~ Morning morning, morning! o/~
This was an unexpected review, but very entertaining none-the-less! This movie seriously looks like it would be fun to watch, it’s just so ridiculous and cheap.
Yes the lone wolf books were so amazing!
this movie reminds me of a shitty version of the tenth kingdom which you should review
Given how new that movie is, it fits “Bad Movie Beatdown” better.
… Is… is that a Fist of the North Star poster I see back there? Where the hell did you get your hands on that!?
I actually thought that the theme song sounds more like the GBA Pokemon Games http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-BEjnUvn44
Spoony, you’re right. The Ulric character arc is actually more believable than Anakin’s. I… I don’t know how that is possible. I mean, look at this film. LOOK AT IT! It’s so horrible, it’s hilariously good.
You don’t know how that’s possible? George Lucas has forgotten how to write that’s how it’s possible. He’s too focused on the effects and other technical aspects that all other considerations are secondary.
You have to see it from Lucas’ perspective. When you have the Expanded Universe fleshing out your characters, do you really need to put effort in your writing?
Strike one spoony…
Strike one as in he’s done something wrong or strike one spoony as in you want to hit a spoony…..care to elaborate?
I’m still struggling to accept the fact that a movie exists that features a character who sights the ability to restore a woman’s hymen as a positive.
Noo Spoony!! Just when I was about to start studying, I saw this video!!
Augh.. spoony..I’m unsure if it was mentioned before but.. In the last battle.. It started with a crotch laser to the ass! How could you miss that! It was comedy gold!
Is it me, or does the theme music sound like a copyright-dodging version of the Star Trek: The Next Generation theme?
Spoony, that was fantastic; probably my favorite since The Dungeonmaster. I just can’t believe you got through the library scenario without one, “Are you, Alice, menstruating right now?” joke…
I think the reason the Ulric went after that guy with the sword was because he was wearing a Yankees hat.
I know I would have done the same thing.
Actually, he was freaked out by the fact that he was carrying a boombox. The movie just did a shitty job of conveying that.
Maybe, but I like my reason better. ;)
Yeah, I’m going to have to go with the Yankees hat. Obvious Boston Red Sox fandom transcends time and space. (Don’t ask how many dimensions Manchester United fandom transcends though, you have to get a permit to explain it.)
Oh, I’m not a Sox fan. But like any sane baseball fan I just hates the Yankees. :)
… This was a late 80′s/early 90′s porno, wasn’t it? I feel dirtier having watched this.
Would a librarian willingly let a teenager check out a porno movie?
Do libraries even have porno movies?
If they did, I might have spent more time at the library becoming a learned scholar instead of wasting my youth with D&D and Video Games. But hey, at least I have a huge bag of dice to hit learned scholars in the head with and an entertainment center the size of Nebraska.
C’mon… everyone was thinking it.
Porno movies, no. Movies with naked people, yes.
And boy has my library gotten into it over the fact that we carry cable TV series like True Blood or Rome.
These libraries need to hire more guys like Conan the Librarian. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZHoHaAYHq8http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZHoHaAYHq8
Accualy, I'd want to watch this, just for the lulz and it also seemed to be a atempt at epicness.
To quote Yatzee: "Your icecream might be the tastiest in the world, but we don't care about that if we have to eat it with a dead horse rotting head!"
This is hands down one of the funniest reviews you’ve made in a long time! (Even though I think that after every new review you make)I wanted to quote some of the funnier lines, but they are too many. I was laughing from start to finish!
At 11:12: You mention the very thing I was thinking. Use you damn time-freeze magic (or is it “magick”?) dumbasses!
At 16:06: Ok, wtf. Bad writing right there! They know about libraries and library cards??? And how the f*** are they filling out the form? What kind of info. are they putting on there and how does that lead to successfully getting their cards?
At 17:51: Eww! Too perverted and creepy! Someone flip that bird now!
At 19:35: Yeeeaaah… I saw the dick-in-the-hole joke that followed coming a mile away…
At 23:57: Umm… Why’s he screaming “Nooooo!” after the other guy says “master”? It seems to come out of nowhere!
At 25:57: Yeah, I know where it’s headed… *listens to the rest of the dialogue* Oh snap! LOL
At 26:36: Traditional magick manner? [Insert sex joke here!]
Did anyone else feel like one of the themes in this movie was like one of the Metroid themes?
I liked the ending, man; now go rest for one to two weeks. LOL. I’m just teasing.
B.t.w., this is Pierre Robert Groulx. I just wanted to change to my website’s Disqus/internet handle.
He’s screaming no because he’s just realised his brother has been corrupted by the bad guy.
*looks at the footage again* Oh right, I see it now…
No. Just no. I disagree with you on the Star Wars point. Anakin’s turn was still far more believable. Also, the library joke went on for too long.
Other than that, it was another good review from you.
“Anakin’s turn was still far more believable.”
Yeah, keep telling yourself that, buddy.
D’aaawwwww, that’s adorable. Anakin’s turn was terribly handled due to the awful performances and terrible writing on Lucas’ part, not a convincing emotional reaction in the entire prequel trilogy.
That.. was.. freakin’… AWESOME! I was laughing so hard, so many times, during this review that I started coughing. And seeing as I already have a cough, that wasn’t very pleasant – but totally worth it!
the full tagline should have been It’s Magick! We don’t have to explain anything.-Joe Quesada, 2008
A catchphrase that was later taken by an unfunny asshole of a reviewer.
Well, now that you’ve mentioned Brad:
this is still better than “Oversexed Rugsuckers From Mars”. As bad as this movie is, as much as the special effects and the acting and the writing sucked, “Oversexed Rugsuckers From Mars” is worse. Way worse.
And hey, at least your review doesn’t have a sad Bum character who ruins the whole review by depressing us.
Though you do lose points for doing Nostalgia Critic’s trademark “running a gag past the point when it’s funny” thing with the “library commercial” gag.
I agree this was definitely your funniest review in a while. For being sickly you don’t sound too bad off (good luck w/that, btw, I feel your pain regarding the never-ending sinus infection). Also, I may be showing my ignorance, but what does your tee shirt mean?
Happy that those anti personnel mines worked! :D
OMG! The Irn Bru advert!!!
love it but I agree I don’t get the shirt.
You’re obviously not a PS3 player :P
no im not i dont have the money now please explian
The top half is the start of the PS3 marketing blurb “It only does everything” The number is the error code people got when the Playstation network got brought down by hackers. I’d imagine the T-shirt came about due to how long it took Sony to release info about the problem, and how long it’s taken to fix it.
I’m a PS3 player and a fan of irony, so I like the shirt.
Fenris was right. Mages always turn to dark magic eventually.
I don’t think I trust a Death Eater’s opinion on the matter…
landmines at your doorstep? all hail spoony, the ultimate shut-in! =D
I think the landmines are to keep the various “guests” that plague him from appearing and causing trouble. Black Lantern Spoony, Tidus, The Ultimate Warrior, the SWAT guy who always wants to stand were Spoony is, etc…
Or he doesn’t want his brother to leave the room either. Ever…
HE was Black Lantern Spoony. He was healed when he was fused with his clone.
This review is absolute proof that Noah still has it.
I have been on the fence recently with all the story and crossover stuff being crammed into reviews (not just you Spoony, in fact, you’re not even the biggest offender), but this video was awesome.
You blew up Macho Man Randy Savage!
NNNNNNNNNNNNI’m ok with that.
Wait, Michael won’t resurrect Ulrich in time for the wedding? That is cruel.
Well, that’ll teach him to turn to the dark side won’t it? It was a bit of a dick move though.
Great review, and in a ways, this movie is even worse then The Room. By the way, what is that poster with kids and.. cobra thing in Spoony’s room? Looks like some kind of a 8-bit game/movie crossover.
It’s the poster for “The Wizard”. Don’t you remember the Nostalgia Critic review of it?
too soon ><
excellent review and have to say 19:50 is awesome
Nice “Whitest Kids U Know” reference with the Grapist!
Ok, when i head the “you’re in my way sir” i had to pause the video because i was laughing so much. Great review and i loved the bros before hoes part at the end.
Thank you spoony, I had a stressful day as a slave (and I wish that was the sexual kind but it wasn’t) and your review cheared me right up.
So, Ulrich is obviously Billy Mitchell.
Okay I prefer the Macho Man to a surrly old bird.
I’m surprised to took this long for a Dead Alewives reference…
The vids load so slow, dammit. Anyone got any advice? I once left it to load for 30 mins and it still had only done about half. My Internet isn’t that shitty either, I can watch Nostalgia Critics vids without stopping and they’ll even load way in advance
this episode was AWESOME! I feel like the spoony one truly is back now!
I especially loved the crazy-pill/killing prostitutes gag. well done.
we’ve all been there…
Shouldn’t Spoony turn into Doctor Insano? He turns into Doctor Insano whenever he goes crazy, and he’s clearly going crazy here…
HUZZAH!! Spoony’s Glorious Return!!! :D
I really hope you keep up this “Goofy” feel of your reviews all summer dude. I can’t really explain why but to me your Final Fantasy reviews had this “Epic” feel, your Lets Plays had this “Intense” feel, and your Ultima series reviews have this “Seriously, WTF?” type of feel. Actually maybe it’s ALL of your movie reviews that seem goofy to me, but this review takes the cake! I applaud your work here, this is probably your best movie review to date! [With the exception being Highlander: The source, but i'd like to think that movie never existed.] I Can’t wait for more! :D
Spoony’s remark of “the black thing” reminds me of the French comedy “Les Visiteurs”, where a medieval count and his help are transported to the 20th century and mistake a black postal worker for a “Saracen” (a medieval term for Muslim) which results into the destruction of a postal van.
Man, This is one of your best reviews in a looooong time. It feels WAY more lighthearted. The lack of costumes and many props also reminds me of your roots, which is awesome.
Don’t get me wrong, I like most of your characters and everything – but IMHO THIS is what TSE is all about: You shooting the shit on your couch with Burton by your side.
I’m really, really happy with this review! Congrats.
Well… this is a better roleplaying movie then say… Dungeons & Dragons.
This isn’t really a “roleplaying movie”. Spoony just assumes every fantasy movie is a roleplaying movie because he’s a huge D&D nerd, but this is more of a straightforward fantasy movie. “Krull” is more of a roleplaying movie than this, and that one had aliens.
Kinda got a little off-track in the middle with all the library based commercials but other than that, hilarious review.
Even more hilarious was the analysis of this vs. Star Wars
An Al from Home Improvement Reference? I don’t think the Tool Man would approve of that. You will fear the Wrath of Karn
What is it with libraries and people bursting in and graping you in the mouth? All I get there is the on smelly guy looking and nudie art books. My dad has issues.
ZOMG! Best review ever!
Ok spoony, seriously… i can’t even begin to cover how douchey a “complete paperwork spell” is. this is ultimately the stupidest spell ever concieved. its even worse because it makes so much sense. its so dry and lame.
this is what a lawyer or accountant wishes for from a game of D&D. its not only a way of being lame its also very weasly and acts as motivation for manipulation of the local systems.
it makes all other characters look like stupid people, and enforces such concepts into blatant apparentness. this is the type of character who is very good at filling out resumes and junkmail surveys. master of well oganized fileing cabinets! i mean what the fucking shit?
is this character the best at D&D character creation? i mean what fuckin player of D&D himself wouldnt want a spell of such nature, just to avoid the hours of memorization and premeditation envolve in the very aspect of what created this character in the FIRST PLACE! (rubs brow) i mean fuck me thats stupid…
check out youtube channel -> bensrpgpile2
I’m spade and i think Franz Ferdinan the bard, is filling out peoples SAT’s for a little extra pocket money. god, he’s wack…
Dude I’m a taxprep. You know how many people I would kill for that spell ALONE? Lemme tell ya. It ain’t a small number.
Still, how can you perform a library application-filling spell if you don’t know what library applications are to begin with?
He will be alright. Tis just a flesh wound.
Spoony, you are smoking now? That can’t be good for your condition.
Pretty sure it was one of those fake cigarettes with the dust at the end. Which is why it only smoked when he blew outward on it.
Seriously, I just LOVE the part where you took a jab at Glenn Beck. You’re the best.
As for the Movie. From what I’ve seen even the Movie seems to be terrible, with a lot of gaps in logic and the (as you said) cheesy acting, but it still seems to be somewhat entertaining. Like the Reb Brown movies you like so much. A horrendous Performance, but lots of fun to watch.
but maybe your review gave me the wrong impression there and in reallity it’s really boring.
I wouldn’t know.
And this is why this is better than “Oversexed Rugsuckers From Mars”: this movie is funnier by accident than “Oversexed Rugsuckers From Mars” is by desperately trying.
Bros before Hos! Wooooo!
Great review, bro!
Once again you take a cheap shot and alienate conservatives who would otherwise watch and enjoy your show. Please stop this
Fuck conservatives and their regressive fucking agenda. Go watch Glenn Beck if you want someone to suck your dick.
Noah jokes about all sorts of people.
Maybe you’d take less offence if you weren’t so conservative about it.
I would very much like to see where he makes fun of someone on the left. I’m willing to believe I missed it. Just show me where it is.
Watch his review of 2012. He pretty much takes a massive shot at left wing liberals at one point in, economically at least. God, do conservatives always have to have their entertainment reinforce their political views? I swear, if I thought that way, I’d never watch Monty Python or read Carl Hiassan….
Okay, I will check it out. Thank you for responding, GSK.
And no, our entertainment doesn’t have to reinforce it. It’s just the jabs out of nowhere at our expense that have nothing to do with the subject at hand that makes us upset. I just asked him politely to stop it. I didn’t want to debate him on the issues or merits of the political positions. Just to stop with the cheap personal attacks.
Jesus, chill out. It’s entertainment. If you can’t take a joke, even if you don’t like who it’s aimed at, why watch? The point of humor is to make fun of things. NO ONE is safe. Once you accept that I think you will be a happier person.
Two words: Seth MacFarlane.
Liberals have entertainment that props them up too.
Frankly, I think most people are socially liberal, and fiscally conservative (Libertarian). Basically, our party system forces people to choose between economic issues (Republicans) and social issues (Democrats). This is why I hate the American party system. We either need Libertarian and Totalitarian parties to be perfectly balanced, or divide our government into economic and social sectors.
Psh, I wish most people were like that. When people have been taught by gov’t schools that the best way to fund a project like a park is to use the state to make people pay for your park and that it’s ok to do so you get a very small group of people who won’t agree with that.
And usually it’s just because we’ve realized that the above process will never ever be used to do something good for “us” because the system’s rigged to make it so only those with power and money will control what it’s used for, ensuring we’ll always just be getting mugged to line the pockets of someone who bought a legislator.
“Two words: Seth MacFarlane.
Liberals have entertainment that props them up too.”
The entirety of CurrentTV
…and so on.
Partisan entertainment is a cash cow.
Well,if you guys are gonna be so fucking butthurt all the time,we probably didn’t want your kind here anyway.
All the time? This is the first I’ve mentioned it. I could have said something during his Beastmaster review, but I didn’t. All I asked is that he not take the cheap shots that serve no purpose. People who watch his reviews do so because they like the riffing of bad movies and games. Viewer’s who trend left are already watching his reviews, and those that trend right will be upset that he’s attacking them. So all it will serve is for those conservatives who would watch his show to stop.
BTW, thanks for raising the maturity level of the conversation by saying “your kind.” That’s some bigoted shit there.
Spoony isn’t trying to provide the same brand of vanilla,toothless,rated-E-for-everyone humor Jay Leno brings to the table. Appealing to everyone and not,god forbid,offending anybody is not his fucking mission statement. If you can’t handle that and would rather get all touchy and ruin the atmosphere of good fun that most of the people seem to go along with just fine with your SRS BSNS political bullshit,then,perhaps,this isn’t the show for you.
If you want someone who supports conservatives, watch that piece of shit “Linkara” guy.
I do. I take it you do not?
You watch Linkara’s show. You deserve to be sucker-punched.
So is this the tolerance I was told about?
“You watch something I don’t like, so you must be physically harmed”?
Wow. You do realize that Noah and Lewis seem to get along fairly well?
I’m sure Spoony didn’t intend to offend every conservative that comes to his page. Also, I’m sure he meant his one comment about Glen Beck to be directed at Glen Beck. If you feel that you are so tightly associated with a crazy, doom-preaching, moron, that’s not The Spoony Ones fault. its yours. Glen Beck and Olbermann represent the two opposite ends of the spectrum. A wise person would find themselves somewhere in the middle not aligned with either.
When did Linkara ever come off as a conservative? The guy is a self identified feminist for cripe’s sake.
1. He’s made it very clear that he’s a Conservative (a Libertarian to be precise).
2. There are alot of Conservative Feminists, so your second statement is also out of touch.
Listen, if you can look at Glenn Beck and honestly say that man is not a crazy person, there is something very very wrong with you.
I can easily turn that around and say that if you don’t think Keith Olbermann is a crazy person, there is something very very wrong with you.
I find both of them nuts. However I find Beck nuts in a funny way and Keith just an insane ass. But that’s just my tastes.
Both sides have extremists, let’s leave it at that.
I didn’t notice any hate on conservatism anyways, so it is a moot point imo.
best review in a while spoony
Man, I really was hoping that this was a review of the video game. Oh well, maybe next time.
I actually expected Michael to have a dream about his brother calling him to the great hall somewhere in there.
Funny how Pardue/Robbie/Tom Hanks/whatever said that mages are supposed to be chaste, yet Ulric is horny as hell…
Yeah, I gotta admit the title threw me off. See, “Magick” (pronounced “Mah-Gik”) is a little used Kuna indian word (a slur, actually) referring to persons of mixed ancestry (specifically native and Dutch). So yeah, for a good few seconds I was genuinely perplexed (and mildly concerned).
So, the title translates to “Lords of Nigger”?
Well, actually they have different co-occurring spellings and words for it. I dated a Wiccan once. Trust me on this: it gets complicated.
That moment when the guy popped his head out the window and called dow the spell…I was half expecting a remark about that being the script writer calling out the lines the pair had forgotten.
And…I was wondering if a Knightmare scene would pop up. Especially when Evil Mcwizard gets fried.
God I miss that show…
Actually, I was hoping for a “Dragon Strike” callback. The whole movie felt like someone stretched out the “Dragon Strike” video to 90 minutes, and then edited out all scenes with the Game Master and the board game.
I have to admit that this movie does take me by surprise. After all, when I think “Master Mage” the last thing I expect is a dude finger tutting while lasers fire out more randomly than a Storm Troopers blaster.
I also await more Ultima reviews.
Yay, a new spoony review. I’m now using spoony and Nostalgia Critic to lull me to sleep. Sure, I may have to rewatch them afterwards, but I can go to sleep without any nasty thoughts.
Isn’t that.. a bit insulting?
I’m pretty sure he doesn’t mean what you’re thinking. If he thought it was boring he wouldn’t re-watch it again later on.
Did Spoony just turn into Ken Rosenberg while talking to his Lawyer?
And I loved Macho-Spoony! My immediate reaction was “oh shit, did he put the land mines in!? …YUP!”
Seriously, that title music right there? Star Trek: TNG with trumpets. Go on, compare the two and then tell me I’m a liar.
This movie boldly goes where every single other movie has gone before.
That maybe the best Spoony Experiment I’ve seen NO it was the best I’ve seen, thank you sir, THANK YOU SIR THANK YOU SIR
That maybe the best Spoony Experiment I’ve seen NO it was the best I’ve seen, thank you sir, THANK YOU SIR THANK YOU SIR
see what makes u special?
The only thing that was missing from this review was a cameo from Treyguard from Knightmare.
OH YEEEEEAH!! *steps on a landmine* OH NOOOOOOO!!
Well it looks like you’re back!
I know that people used to read Dramatica and try and troll you by saying “you were not as good as you used to be…” but in all reality, this is one of your best pieces of work. You should be very proud of it.
And since when does Enciclopedia Dramatica’s opinion count for anything?
Let’s just put a preemptive stop to any political discussions, okay?
There are bigots and idiots on both sides of the political spectrum. The worst thing you can do is rely on insults and stereotypes as an excuse for writing off other people’s opinions. Blindly attacking people just for identifying with the other party is just wrong. Unfortunately, this is increasingly common in today’s political discussions, especially with politicians who view conservatives/liberals as the “enemy.”
I don’t care what you identify yourself as, be it Democrat or Republican, conservative or liberal, I’ll be willing to listen. I won’t write off anyone’s opinion or blindly accept it just because of the party they like best. I’ll gladly have a civil discussion with anyone, and I’ll agree if they make a good point, just as I’ll disagree if they say something stupid or inaccurate. I would rather form my opinion about someone as an individual based on their own merits and beliefs than rely on biased, uninformed, hateful assumptions. If more people would do the same, America might actually be able to get something done, rather than wasting time and money on fighting amongst ourselves.
Right, now let’s just focus on how hilarious Spoony is.
It essentially boils down to this:
Republicans are all about God and supporting the Catholic Church. Democrats are more, well, liberal. As such, the whole “Democrats vs Republicans” debate boils down to Catholics vs atheists.
And atheists will NEVER stop bashing Catholics, or learn to respect the point of view of the Catholics.
Really? Republicans are all about “God and supporting the Catholic Church”? That’s our sole stance on anything?
1) I was unaware I was Catholic
2) JFK was a Catholic and a Democrat
It’s just a shitty little troll. Don’t waste your time responding to him.
Good argument against liberalism. They’re nothing but haters and and uninformed people.
Conservatives? There are exceptions, of course, but for the most part we’re as nice as we can be. If we get pushed around too much, though, we will stand up and fight back.
We’d love to stop fighting. But the other side continues to attack our way of life relentlessly. We hear how crazy and stupid we supposedly are throughout the media, in movies, books, and even internet reviewer shows. We’re not going to lie down and simply take it.
Hey Suol, I’m a homosexual. Want to lecture me again about conservatives not attacking people’s “way of life”? I’d love to stop fighting too, but your side seems to regard me as some kind of moral enemy of the state. I hear about how supposedly promescuous and immoral I am in media, in movies, books, and TV pundit shows. I’m not going to lie down and take it either.
You talk as if you’re innocent of doing the same to us. Why don’t you read up on what gays did to people in California after they passed Proposition 8? They beat up and threatened a bunch of supporters that democratically voted for the measure.
Interesting, too, how you generalize us conservatives this way. Simplistic views, indeed.
How can I forget, right wing pundits made sure we knew every incident whenever some dumbass took it to physical. Besides, I’m here in VA, not like I could have had much to do with the Prop 8 kerfluffle anyway.
And if you want to compare who treats who worse? You wanna get nuts?
-Was being a conservative in your own home a crime you could actually get arrested for in you up until 2000? Being gay was. Lawrence vs. Texas
-Have conservatives ever been described on a nationally syndicated TV show as organizing into street gangs then abducting teenage girls, sexually abusing them, and turning them into conservatives? Lesbians were on O’Rielly.
-You ever heard a liberal say that “youngsters are naturally repulsed by conservatives. This is a good instinct and needs to be nurtured”? It was said about gays. (Values Voter Conference, 2010)
-Has any state political party actually lobbied to pass bills completely and literally criminalizing being a conservative? Texas GOP did that in regards to gays.
-Last time you ever heard a televised preacher say “If a conservative tries to come onto me, I’ll kill him and tell God he died”. Jimmy Swaggart said just that about gays.
-How many nationally syndicated left wing radio show hosts openly called for legal execution of all conservatives? Bob Enyart did just that multiple times.
I can go all night with this one.
By the way, criticizing people for generalizing when you just said all liberals were haters and uninformed people. There’s a word for that, starts with a big H….
Holy shit relax. I’m a republican and I’m also agnostic and have nothing against gay people and gay marriage. You and others can continue living in fantasy world where all Republicans are nicely categorized as Christian freaks but that is just not true. Also you know who had the biggest hand in prop 8? It wasn’t republicans but actually overly religious immigrants, specifically latinos. But oh no, you guys are way too sensitive when it comes to race relations so you better not say anything and just go with your normal boogey man of the republican party. In the very least get this through your head. Beck, Hannity, O’Reilly they don’t represent us. You would love for that to be true I know but it just isn’t. They are dumb talking heads like like Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow are for the left but I’ll be damned if I ever assume they represent the lot of you. Try to be above the bullshit you and whoever else is reading this.
Yea, I go after the “boogey man” because it’s the GOP that’s actually putting forth the policies and proposals!
And if Beck/O’Rielly/ect..doesn’t represent you, why are they the ones invited and paid the big bucks for lectures and addresses at so many GOP gatherings.
PS: Should have made it clear earlier, but I’m not a democrat or a liberal either. I have never voted for a Democrat my entire life.
Did you not read my comments about how it was not the GOP who overwhelmingly voted for it? How do you factor that one? Religious people (who are the most outspoken when it comes to gay marriage) come from everywhere just not the republican party. I know you love your simple categorization since thinking any other way is hard but it’s just not true.
Because they make a lot of money for fundraising events due to them being on TV and famous. Like it or not they are famous and you’ll get more donations from Beck then you would Joe Schmo. Come on this isn’t rocket science here. Idiots like Beck and Maddow are popular because they make politics easy. The other side is evil and stupid who wouldn’t love the world to be that simple? I mean you seemed to have bought into it hook line and sinker so it works. But at the dame time Beck averages somewhere along the lines of 1.5-2million viewers a day (last time I checked) and over 100 million people identify themselves as conservatives in some fashion so 2 million is very small and if my basic math skills serve me right that is not the majority.
Oh yea you are one of those “enlightened ones” who sit on your high pedestal raising your nose at everyone when it’s clear by your own words that statement is bullshit. Good luck not being relevant hope that works out for you in the long wrong. I’m also assuming here that you aren’t foreign because if you aren’t a US citizen thank you for wasting 5 minutes of my life arguing with a nobody.
I’m a born and raised Virginian, so no, not foreign.
It was the GOP who overwhelmingly voted for it, it just also had the backup of religious latinos and the urban thug culture for it. Besides, you act like Prop 8 is the only grievance I have. It’s actually minor compared to the other stunts the GOP has pulled, like Rep. SC justice Scalia and Thomas voting against a decision that would made state laws saying that homosexual sex EVEN IN PRIVATE is enough to get you prison time was unconstitutional. It’s pretty minor compared to the Texas GOP trying to override that law. It’s pretty minor compared to Tea Party leaders proclaiming to a cheering crowd that the intend to screen school teachers and school board members for homosexuality and to forbid them those positions on that basis. It’s pretty minor compared to Pat Robertson (A former GOP presidential candidate) saying that Disneyland having a “gay day” would cause a comet to crash into Florida. You ask what I bought into? I bought into the notion that certain ideologies, namely ones that name people like me as an enemy, are bad.
As for relevance, I donate to where I care to donate, I have my causes that demand my monetary and time. Doesn’t mean, however, that you have any more votes than I do, chum. I vote for who my conscience tells me to. What a concept.
Oh, and your 1.5-2 million Beck viewership? Did you count in his radio show, his book sales, his live lectures and performances, ect? And you think he’s the only right wing pundit in town? Want me to throw numbers in for people who listen to Savage (who’s even more hardcore conservative and has an even bigger radio listenership than Beck)?
Yes, I know all about the “Four legs good, two legs bad” system of discussion that’s passed for news these days, and had it not been for Suol’s emulation of that coupled with his nice little “it’s liberals who want to destroy people’s way of lives” notion, I would have stayed out of this.
I love it, you keep blowing off my point about the Latino vote. When you look at population percentages it is just as bad as any crap you can continue pulling out of your ass about the GOP and gay rights. Keep playing this childish game that it’s only the right who speaks out about gay rights. Also excuse me but with everything going on in the world (economy, wars, taxes, etc) if your way of vote just goes for who supports your sexuality then you are selfish. There is no other way to say it. We have more important things to worry about in the world then stuff like that. Also if the gay community did small things such as not having gigantic parades where half naked people were parading and doing sexual acts in public you’d have less conservatives talking about how “evil” homosexuals are. Most pride movements break down into exhibitionists and attention seekers. This is not done in the non-gay community why do you think the rules are different for you? You guys do more then enough to get yourself nailed as “sexual deviants” and give extremists ammo to fight you. Homosexuals are also the biggest instigators of bugchasing AKA catching aids on purpose. I’m sorry it’s give and take and if you think there are no reforms that need to be done in the gay community you’re kidding yourself.
I’m glad you’re an American you’ve been pretty vague about everything you stand for that isn’t gay rights so I have to make assumptions. Might want to make that clear next time in the future.
You pull all the numbers you want go right ahead. It still won’t be even close to the majority of conservatives which is my point. Come on I dare you. Link me to hyper conservative Michael Savage’s numbers who many times has damned Bush on his show while Bush was president. Go ahead. Show me the correlation of how they are all the voice of the right. You at times from your posts, outside of your copying and pasting show hints of intelligence but I can’t take you seriously until you drop this retarded talking point. Also it would be nice if you made your politics clearer instead of sitting in your glass house judging others.
One other thing. You said you are in this because the other guy said “it’s liberals who want to destroy people’s way of lives” which shouldn’t really bother you since by your words you don’t take any political sides but like I said earlier we know that is BS. I’m in this myself because you are demonizing everyone on the right as fanatic homophobic zombies when that isn’t true itself. You are fighting one man’s accusation of a stereotype with your own stereotype of his party. How do you not see the hypocrisy in that? This is what I mean when I say you’re as much of a party schill even though you try to act like you aren’t as he is. At least be honest with yourself.
here’s the difference; I’m going on ACTUAL POLICIES by the right. Not just ideas. Not just spoutings on op/ed shows, not even just proposals, but actual legislation done in addition to it.
It’s not the Democrats putting this forward. Even though I have more than enough beef with their ideaologies, enough in fact to keep me from voting for them, it’s not their institutions and think tanks that view me as an enemy of the state. I cannot say the same for the right.
Ok I take it since you didn’t show any “proof” that those talking heads represent the majority you are conceding that point. I’m glad we finally got that misconception out of the way.
Like I explained above there are reasons why the extreme right would feel threatened. Take a look at this for example:
The title is misleading and if you read the whole article you’ll see why. Here’s a quote if you stubbornly refuse to read the article:
“The event in question is known as the “Hunky Jesus” competition, a semi-serious annual male beauty contest seeking to crown the “hunkiest” — i.e. most sexually appealing — gay (preferably half-nude) Jesus lookalike in San Francisco. Actually, Hunky Jesus is only part of the story; it’s the culmination of a day-long Easter Sunday festival in the city’s Mission Dolores Park. The massive public party/picnic is the closest thing San Francisco has to a municipal Easter celebration, and features several events including an Easter egg hunt for kids, burlesque shows, a campy Easter bonnet contest, musical groups and so on, with Hunky Jesus as the headlining final performance.
As you will soon see in the report below, Hunky Jesus is intentionally as blasphemous as possible, an over-the-top religious-themed sexual beauty contest steeped in mockery of Christians and Christian beliefs.”
So as you can see here like I said there is give and pull here. If the gay community thinks it’s acceptable to get naked on Eastern Sunday and mock Christian beliefs you damn well better be sure people who hold these beliefs strongly will be pissed. Luckily for your “movement” stuff like this gets buried in the leftist media so your average Joe would never know this even happened.
I’m in no way excusing militant homophobia but you’re delusional if you don’t think the religious right has plenty of legit reasons to feel the way it does.
Geez, impatient on the numbers, aren’t you?
Limbaugh pulls in 15 million a week.
Hannity still pulls in 14 million.
Beck actually has INCREASED viewership from 2009, going from fifth to third place at 9mil plus.
Savage sits comfortably at no.4, lost his spot to Beck, a little under 9 million. Clearly he’s reaching some kind of audience, and this is even AFTER he’s lost slews of sponsorship support over his little flap about autism being curably by just slapping a kid and telling them to stop acting like an idiot.
But I might concede about Savage. He really has been taking pot shots at his fellow right wingers these days, lately calling Beck a “Hemmoroid with eyes” as well as a “fraud”.
Still, 8-9 million listeners a week ain’t pocket change.
That’s a lot of numbers. And a lot of representation. These people got pull. They influence. That means their fair game.
And now to address the people you mentioned, the exhibitionists who claim to act in the name of gay rights.
FUCK THEM ALL RIGHT IN THE EAR.
They are not my movement. I’ve gotten into shouting matches with with other GLBT’s over this crap and gotten premature grey hairs from trying to argue with them. I withdrew all my regular donations to Act Up thanks to garbage like this, especially their lack of condemning the insane Bughunters.
They have harmed us almost as much as the right wing, the only difference being that the right wing has actually put forth the laws and proposals to screw us over. Other than that, these morons have done as much damage as any Bible beating conserv.
Believe it or not, there are those of us fighting against this trend, and believe me, fighting a war on multiple fronts especially when one of them claims to be an ally is tiring and maddening work, and our lone advocate with any kind of media pull is Tammy Bruce, for what she’s worth.
By the way, if it’s “selfish” of me to want to stymie and expose legislation that would put me in prison for my sexuality instead of focus on the war/economomy, then I embrace the label.
Ok those are great numbers but the argument always was if they make up the majority and according to those numbers they don’t. I never once said they don’t influence some of the right, of course they do but that was never the argument. You can have all the wishful thinking you want about what you think a conservative is but with over 100 million of us in the US, 15 million is not the majority. Also you are making a lot of assumptions here. I admit I occasionally listen to talk radio on long trips in the car but I agree with a minority of what is said usually. At the same time many leftists listen to Beck and Limbaugh so they can ready ammunition for their petty attacks on them. My mom who is not political at all listens to some of those guys just as background noise. All walks of life listen to those shows. Again, it’s a mighty assumption you are throwing by assuming all listeners are republican zombies. It’s the assumption you want but it isn’t true.
I’ll say it again and I’m glad you notice it as a problem but as long as exhibitionists and crazy militant pride people exist, any attacks the far right make are pretty valid. Anyone who suggests gay people should be locked up is nuts but again you do a disservice giving these guys power and attention because those laws never ever will be enforced in this day and age. It’s fun for you and other far leftists to give the right wing nutjobs attention and power so you can parade them as representatives of the party but i’ll let you in on a little secret. They aren’t. People like me are the majority. However by tagging us all as racists and homophobes you force us conservatives who sympathize with you to turn on you. We don’t appreciate this. I really don’t know how else to say this.
“but as long as exhibitionists and crazy militant pride people exist, any attacks the far right make are pretty valid. ”
“However by tagging us all as racists and homophobes you force us conservatives who sympathize with you to turn on you.”
So it’s valid when the right does it, but not me.
Man oh man, you’re sporting some seriously huge brass testicles saying that in one post. WOW, just…WOW.
Oh, you also mentioned that these laws will “never be enforced in our day and age.” Wrong, homeslice, in fact there was a 2003 case in North Carolina where gay men were arrested using the law and claimed the law needed to be kept to “deter prostitution.”
Don’t mess with a newshound with a cause.
Answer this simple question. If you and your lover made out or had sex right now at your apartment would you go to jail? If the answer is yes I’ll shut up and you’ll never hear from me again. If the answer is no you are a newshound drama queen who manipulates stories to distort the truth.
Also my post is very valid. Radical pride members give the right every reason to hate them. In turn radical right members give you every reason to hate them. These points were never contested. What’s contested is that I get involved in this and pigeon holed as one of the loony minorities. Again, they don’t make up the majority which is what your argument always was. I can post 100 stories about radical pride members who do bad things and you can post stories about the right but you are doing a disservice to your movement by portraying them as every republican. Since you are such a newshound you should be aware what sensationalism is. If that was true at all and 100+ million people had a chip on their shoulders regarding gay people i’m sure you’d see more violent protests and bloodshed on the streets.
To answer your question (and assuming we were caught doing so); Possibly. The NC statute has not been challenged successfully as I know, thus, we can be arrested and charged, though the odds are low.
Funny you should say “If that was true at all and 100+ million people had a chip on their shoulders regarding gay people i’m sure you’d see more violent protests and bloodshed on the streets.” considering that every time gay marriage was put to popular vote it get’s destroyed in the ballot box. Seems quite a few have a chip even if it’s not violent.
If I was to rob you I would go to jail.
If I was to murder you I’d go to jail.
If I was to rape you’d I go to jail.
There is no “possibly” with the law. That’s why the law exists. That’s bullshit and you know this. All you keep doing is argue petty semantics and play on words. Very little you say is honest. I really hope you don’t make these kinds of arguments with others because if that’s the case you are a lying petty prick who does a disservice to your movement, almost as bad as the ones that mocked Christianity.
Here we are again where you know the motives and beliefs for everyone who voted for prop 8 and other anti gay bills like a fucking mind reader. Why are you wasting your time with a homophobic rethuglican like me, why not use your powers to win the lottery so you can fund and bring attention to all your pride marches?
This retarded argument isn’t going to go anywhere because you are too self righteous to admit “Ok maybe not the majority of all republicans are gay bashers.” Since you know me well enough to insult me and put titles on me I welcome you to say this stuff to my face. Next month I’ll be in Virginia beach, the last weekend of June. I’m willing to meet with you so you can tell me to my face that I’m a bigoted homophobe. I’m 100% serious here I made plans on driving down there a while ago anyway (I’m from NY). My e-mail address is email@example.com shoot me an email and we can discuss a place to meet. I’m sick of retards like you who spam nonsense on the internet and do more harm then good for the organizations you stand for.
Hey buddy. Assuming that people are ignorant and stuffing words into their mouth may make you feel good, but you will hurt for it later.
Actually explain why people are ignorant instead of immediately (and perhaps unnecessarily) making enemies.
I have a theory that Glen Beck isn’t actually conservative. He is liberal, and is trying to hurt the image of conservatives by pretending to be a nut job.
Yeah, that’s my same theory for Bill Maher.
Though admittedly, I also believe that Bill Maher and Bill O’Reilly actually work together and play off each other to maximize the effect of the illusion.
You do realize it’s not ALL Christians right? You do know that there are millions of us who embrace and advocate for the LGBT community right? Just checking.
I don’t think Gunsmithkitten is attacking all conservatives. She is attacking suol, who is pretty fucking stupid.
And you might get attacked in the future for saying ‘you guys’ in the fifth line of your post. It leaves you open to counterattack.
Gotta disagree there. Seems like Gunsmith is making alot of broad (and by their very nature, incorrect) generalizations about the entire Conservative viewpoint. Seems like they’re two of a kind, no?
And now you’ve lumped a level headed person into a group of radical nut cases because they both happen to share… sexual orientation? Because a group of crazy gay people make ALL homosexuals guilty by association for something THEY HAD NO PART IN!
Your really ignorant.
Once again, I’d say Gunsmith has done the same thing (lumping in people with whackos and making ignorant generlizations). I’m not letting Suol off the hook, I’m just saying that Kitten has done the same thing and is just as ignorant as he/she is.
You are actually right. The media does tend to make sweeping, unfounded generalizations about other groups.
For example, the liberal media is just DESTROYING the Tea Partiers without properly representing their beliefs. This problem works both ways, whether you are on FOX or MSNBC.
Why can’t you just keep your sex life private as it should be for all of us? Heterosexual or homosexual? It’s really kind of inappropriate to be flaunting our sexuality constantly in the public sphere anyways. I know that’s the way the culture has gone, but if we just kept sex out of the public square anyways, there wouldn’t be such a controversy. If it’s a private choice (which sexual preferences are and should be) then why is it public? “Coming out” is about as retarded as screaming the statement. “I like to have sex with womenz!”
This is also why both conservatism and western liberalism are utter failures as political and social philosophies. The only way forward is via Democratically run socialism. And I don’t mean the democratic political party, I mean socialism by democracy.
Good gravy, this was still getting responses?
Derek, I’m not a fan of pride marches and exhibitionism. I made this very clear. I never fathom why so many LGBT’s embrace it, it’s simply not tactically beneficial to us, and it only gives people ammunition as stated. The thing, Derek, there are forces at work to this day that intend to enforce private bedroom behavior. I can give names and quotes if you ever want it.
I’d LIKE to keep it that way, actually; problem is, there are segments of the population who make it their business regardless! If you think there aren’t, give me a day and I can find you scores of both statements and platforms where, even if we don’t come out, we’re targeted for imprisonment…or worse.
I agree. The persecution needs to stop. I don’t agree with homosexuality as a lifestyle, but all the hate is just abominable. And I think that’s why people are slowly changing their opinion about it.
Why would I have a problem with that? I only get chapped when people take their predjudice over to public policy. Though I will have to say that if you think it’s a choice, I’d be curious to know how you think a human being can conciously choose who they’re sexually attracted to, especially since sexual arousal is dictated by the involuntary nervous system.
So is breathing. But I can still manually breathe. And sexual arousal is not dictated by the involuntary nervous system. There’s no such term. Do you mean sympathetic or parasympathetic? Or are you actually a medical student and my knowledge is just spotty here?
I know because I have bi-sexual tendencies but out of faith choose not to embrace them. And I find great happiness and satisfaction out of that. Much more so than when I have endorsed my sexual perversions.
Yes, it is a term, look it up in Dorland’s Medical Dictionary.
And the fact that you have those tendencies makes you bisexual. True, ACTING on those tendencies is a choice, but having the arousal is not a choice.
I agree with that. And so I guess if that’s the definition than I am bisexual. But I choose not to act on it, in search of a more spiritually fulfilling life. Having tendencies or an attraction isn’t immoral imo. It’s letting the thoughts dwell continually in your mind, or acting on them. I can have the temptation to steal, but that doesn’t mean I have done anything wrong, unless I act on that temptation.
Strange.. I had a longer, more detailed post, but it disappeared.
Plus it’s common sense considering human beings are anatomically designed to “fit” or “link up” with the opposite sex. And in biology one of the first rules is “form meets function”. If you believe in evolution, it get’s even harder to defend homosexuality. Whether you believe it is genetic or not is irrelevant (not to mention not proven by scientific inquiry, despite all the talk of a “gay gene” none has been demonstrated to exist, just speculated.), the real issue becomes, if evolution is how we evolved as a species, do we want to encourage that? Despite what people may think of overpopulation, and whether they are right or wrong, (i’d have to study the population statistics and make a scientific conclusion with probably an entire team of other scientists) we still need births to continue to take care of the older population. Japan has a serious problem with an older demographic significantly outweighing the younger generation, which means a huge percentage of the population can’t provide for itself and is depending on a younger generation that is maybe half as numerous. Not wise in matters of social welfare. And not wise in terms of an enjoyable culture. How’s the culture going to be when over half your population are older? Will people market to youth when they make up a small minority of the population of a nation? We’ve seen in population studies that a single generation not having kids can cause serious issues in taking the age demographic out of whack. What happens then? And even if homosexual couples CAN have kids via invitro fertilization, they tend NOT to. Studies have shown this. Part of it is a cultural thing, part of it is a discriminatory issue. But all the same, irrelevant.
The real issue is, do we want to encourage a world where a large percentage of the population identifies as homosexual or mostly prefers the same sex? That doesn’t lead to happy families or a stable pattern for growth in society. I don’t think human beings would be happy if the woman was simply a reproductive machine, and real romance happened in an on the side relationship with the same sex. That’s not a good environment for raising the next generation. It’s not stable, and it’s not healthy.
Now you say, this is all hypothetical. Yeah. Sometimes it helps to think ahead. This won’t happen immediately, but it just may in a few generations if homosexuality is mainstreamed.
And if you say affairs already exist, I agree. We need to strengthen marriage and get people back to believing in something better than instant gratification and selfish materialism. I blame the decline of religion in society (whether an individual believes in religion or not, it still provides tremendous social and moral foundations for society, and there’s thousands of years of archeological, sociological and historical evidence to back that up, I’m not just talking Christianity here either.) and the increase and mainstreaming of capitalist consumerism in society at large.
I’m curious to hear your well-reasoned thoughts.
Ummm… you seem to confuse the word ‘group’ with the word ‘ideology’. There are people who believe something after considerable thought, and people who believe what’s polular without understanding it.
Keep this distinction in mind, because even if an idea is good, a stupid person will screw it up because they don’t understand the idea.
I wish I could press the “Like” button multiple times.
Seriously, I’ve tried to read the preposterously MASSIVE argument that took place underneath your post. I get suspicious of long winded arguments, because it makes me feel like brevity was deliberately avoided to confuse people.
Can someone sum this up?
People making broad assumptions and claiming that their side is better, but ultimately proving that every single complaint one can lodge against one political orientation can be lodged against the other side and that ultimately the Liberals here (like everywhere else) are every bit as uneducated, dogmatic, intolerant, blinkered and savage as they accuse the Conservatives of being (and Visa Versa for the Conservatives).
In other words, your standard internet argument. You didn’t miss anything of value.
love you PS3 shirt
also, nice placement of the land mines, though i think you wanted to blow up insano or chuckles.
*Looks at Spoony’s T-shirt*
lol , jokes on you , Spoonz , the PSN is back online now :P
yes , I know he shot the whole thing during the crisis , but still , bad timing !
nonetheless , great review , loved the “Bros before hos , wooooo” moment ! XD
Once again, we apparently had similar childhoods, Noah. I also devoured the Choose your Own Adventures like popcorn, though the best by far was the COMPETETIVE ones (with stats and combat systems!!) in TSR’s 1 on 1 series. The Fafyrd/Grey Mouser vs. Thieves Guild was especially a hoot.
Also…OH, Noah, why jump on the PSN hate? Did you have to?
i tried one of those types of books once and didn’t realize how to read it and wound up hating it for being disjointed. maybe try one again but the most jumping around i can handle is POV stories with multiple characters.
YOu’re kidding, right?
True, most of the GOP won’t truck with atheists, but that’s way too simplistic a view. It’s also implying that protestants don’t side with the GOP which is beyond laughable.
I work in a library and can confirm that all of these things are true. In fact, the Irn Bru Bird attacks have reached epidemic proportions in England. No one is safe.
Indeed, it is true horror.
…I’m confused. Is this supposed to be a parody of porn at times, because that’s how it honestly feels sometimes…O_O
So the king, who was going to have them executed for the terrible crime of necromancy, decides to simply let the two go on the off-chance that they’ll actually look for his daughter?Also it’s not exactly a good sign when Satan starts pointing out how cliche and overdone your plot is.
Nobody else has said it, but this movie is partially a ripoff of “Dragonslayer”; both movies have old wizards appearing in fire, the young dork wizard(s) forget the spells, Michael the hero looks a lot like Peter MacNicol (the protagonist in “Dragonslayer.”) The only thing missing is a flippin’ dragon….and then it becomes a cross between “The Dungeonmaster” and any bad fish-out-of-water time travel story (I can’t blame Beastmaster II, it hadn’t been made yet.) Truly a bucket of suck.
@first person in thread
Firsties suck ass at the AV Club and they don’t work here either. CancerAIDS for you.
I love the pointless political bickering over one joke in this video. Keep classy, Spooners!
When the PSN fully comes back online, ya’ll might feel a slight sting.
That’s pride messing with ya’ll. Fuck pride. Pride only hurts. It never
helps. Ya’ll fight through that shit. Cause a year from now, when the PS3 is on
top, you’re gonna say to yourselves that BenjiDoc was right.
In the 5th, Live goes down… Say it.
Spoon, I want to let you know you’ve still got it. This review was a fucking delight to watch. You’ve slightly changed your style to more commentary than review whilst still giving an insightful (if not irrelevant) enough riff for it to be a review.
Actually, this movie doesn’t look too bad, if it had had a much bigger budget I could see it being kind of okay.
Macho Man doesn’t really do any more damage to the library than your typical *shudder* 7th grader.
Excellent review. Pandering to librarians is always appreciated…though we have all been mobilized to hunt you down for your late fees for Lords of Magick and Captain America. After you’ve been beaten in the town square, paid your fee, and given the item back, we’ll promptly throw it out because we don’t keep a VHS collection anymore. You will be able to start using your library card again, however! Have a nice day.
An awesome review, as usual, but do you really have enough random drop-in’s from food mascots that land mines are necessary? =P
People seem to have a tendency to break into his room, so he vowed a while ago to install land mines. Looks like he got around to it.
love the shirt!
YES!!! You used the Mentos commercial! That’s awesome ^^
My god, I can’t believe this movie was actually available for your
library. Crazy~ This movie is bad, but man is it narmy-good.
Especially with the crazy fire cracker spazzy laser fingers in the
warehouse scene XD WHOA! I SO didn’t expect the guy to turn down the
marriage proposal to reraise his brother! That was actually a pretty cool curve ball.
Awesome review man ^^ Love the shirt too!
Lol, that was Spoony in the window with that spellbook.
Oh god that movie was insane, I think they didn’t use those spells earlier on because……….because……..aw fuck it the movie said so that’s why.
Awesome shirt by the way
Fucking Magick, how does it work??
I don’t think you’re supposed to extend your pinkies when doing that Fonzie “Aaaaaay!” double thumbs-up thing.
…Or is that some kind of subtle gang sign you’re throwing? I mean, now that we see that you’re smoking, who knows what kind of bad element you’re hanging out with? It’s like Mom always said: it always seems like just a bit of harmless fun when you start murdering prostitutes, but keep it up for too long and you might start to fall in with a bad crowd.
OMG this was hilarious. I watched this when I did to stave off my exhaustion from jet lag, and laughing so hard really helped!
And I agree about Anakin’s “fall” to the dark side. It was more like he suddenly tripped and plummeted of a cliff.
Spaz lasers! In a blinding green flavor!
Dude, I really dont like you shirt. I feel disrespected as a viewer. Why are you making fun of people not being able to play online on good games? Also, funny that you posted this yesterday…you know the day PSN came back! Real dick move man, Its always a pain to hear you trash talk the PS3, or talk about modern games in in general.
I mean seriously youre like my idol, and the inspiration for my own reviews, but what the hell?
Wow, I already looked down on fanboys but your rage takes it to whole new levels. rofl.
No one can grasp the true form of this movie
Because true is only an adjectiv?
I don’t even think giygas knows the answer to that
Spoony doesn’t need to pee if he placed landmines at his door
Ok, normally I try not to do this, because, “Dis review is gud” is a terrible comment, but, yeah,wow, I mean this one was just really funny. Some of your best really, and I’ve watched a lot of it. I mean this was just packed with creative jokes of various different types so nothing got old, and the nature of the film itself worked great with it as well. Kudos to you Spoony.
I disagree with you. This movie is nowhere near as bad as Birdemic and The Room. In fact, I’d say this is pretty good movie. It’s better than Dungeon’s & Dragons, better than Beastmaster 2, not better as Highlander 2, though, Sean Connery and Chris Lambert’s performances pull than one over this flick.
In fact, Lords of Magick is probably better than The Phantom Menace.
I don’t get the shirt, and the comments on it.
80710a06 is an error message on the play station network. Which is down because of L33t hackers.
No its not. I went back up the day Spoony uploaded this video, making it ironic.
Well, what was he going to do? Re-film it? He just got caught up in some bad timing, that’s all.
The PSN now being sorta kinda almost up does not make that shirt in any way irrelevant. A network being completely shut down for a month, millions of accounts having their passwords & personal information hacked, warnings by Sony going out to their subscribers of possible identity theft due to user information on servers that wasn’t supposed to be there? Sony’s reputation and the faith that users have in the PSN has taken a major hit that is not going to go away anytime soon. of possible identity theft due to user information on servers that wasn’t supposed to be there? Sony’s reputation and the faith that users have in the PSN has taken a major hit that is not going to go away anytime soon.
Randy Savage no sells landmines.
Randy Savage corpsing in the Spoony Experiment? SEND FOR THE MAN!
Awesome review, you even mentioned Irn-Bru.
By the Emperor! Is that a Deathwatch RPG rulebook in the shelf to your right?
I think it is… And I know I can’t be the only one that immediately thought of the Ruinous Powers of Chaos when Ulrich referred to the “dark powers.” Obviously, they’re both pawns of Tzeentch, given that they’re wizards and all.
this is definitely one of spoonys best reviews! i actually watched this review in a library while doing a break from learning. it’s so hard when you’re not allowed to burst out laughing
That was awesome :) I love reviews of that kind of movie. Low budget, but it had heart of a sort
On behalf of the ALA and American Librarians everywhere, I would like to thank you for drawing attention to the difficult job that librarians have – maintaining small shrines of knowledge and order in the face of relentless assaults by corporate mascots.
Mind you, I’d trade the local Teabaggers using our free WiFi to publish their “What Has The Government Ever Done For Us” websites for The Macho Man bringing me tasty jerky sticks any day of the week.
Something of a nonsequitor but I used to eat Slim Jim’s when I worked as a security guard on a mobile vehicle patrol until something really scary occured with them. I had dropped one on the ground and it rolled under the tire. Not one to eat street food, I left it there and went on patrol, rolling over it. At the end of the night I noticed I had flattened it and it left this white gray grease stain on the pavement.
Everyday I came in and every say it was still there. Rain couldn’t clean it, the lot sweeper trucks couldn’t clean it, snow and hail didn’t do anything, for about sixteen months it was impervious to nature, that Slim Jim grease stain stayed perfectly intact. Perhaps they are better these days but might be a fun experiment to try yourself – just don’t do it on your driveway unless you want an ugly, invincible blemish there for the next year.
It’s not free if it’s payed by taxpayers
Wait…does Ulrich fuck a dead hooker? o.O I
80710A06 – Playstation error code lol… hilarious..
Spoony should review the King’s Quest games! I loved King’s Quest IV, it’s a game that really made me who I am, and I got happy when spoony mentioned it. I’d love to hear his opinion on it, it in relation to the other KQ games, and the KQ games in general!
dude! that movie look awsome!!! I’m so gona watch it
any movie where wizards take a piss on a demons grave is awsome from my standards
As Mr Bean once said “Magick! *snort**snort*”
“There are many temptations in this land, and thou shalt have time for none of them. Until later. Then thou can hump thy ass off.”
Oh my GOD. Are we sure this wasn’t meant to be a parody?
Fun Fact: I interviewed Joe Dever last weekend :D
I laughed so much from this review. Great Job Spoon!
Truly one of your greatest videos
The entire movie looks like lost footage from a FMV game.
Ah, Quest for Glory, my origin to the world of PC gaming. Going to dig those out again and play them. QfG4 was the most buggy of them all, but something about John Rhys Davies as a narrator made that game almost forgivable…almost…
About the theme: Really? I got an “EverQuest Classic” vibe from that…
Then there’s that whole Real-World-Guy-Knows-Magic is weird… especially since he turns into Ness near the end with that bat.
Of course, my favorite part was whole Library bit; I seriously could not stop laughing with Macho Man, IRN BRU Bird, and Mr. Mentos the Grapist all in one huge joke!
I’m surprised you didn’t do a Transformers: The Movie (1986) joke with the trumpeters.
15:49 Hey wait a minute I saw the cameraman’s shadow.
The theme from that movie sounds like star trek next gen
Haha! Great WKUK reference!
+1 for MTG reference ;)
Hahaa… that lawyer phone call was fucking priceless!! :D
I watched this right after seeing the Grapist Sketch
Will everyone shut up with the political prattle? It Honestly does not matter and no one gives a flying fuck. Spooney made a JOKE. Why the hell are you taking a Joke seriously? about PSN shirt haven’t you noticed spooney has got a wide variety of gaming/movie humor t-shirts?
This is simply a great review, I don’t have to explain anything.
Dude…. You killed Randy Savage….
Randy saw this and laughed so hard that he had a heart attack and rammed into a tree. He left like he wanted, hardcore.
Randy Savage actually died earlier today. This is weird that you do a skit then he actually dies
WHY YOU SMOKE
R.I.P. Mr. Savage. We will miss you. :(
Beat me to it.
/eats Slim Jim in tribute
Glad to see that you were able to get those landmines for your door. Sadly they cannot tell friends from foes.
Also glad to see that just hanging around with two bonehead Merlinites can result in getting the power to deflect lightning with a baseball bat and shoot spastic lasers from one’s hands. Incidentally, I think that means they left that asshat in our world with magic powers. Crap.
RIP Macho Man
Dude, Spoony has magic powers! He predicted Randy’s death through that skit! It’s magick!
That was creepy. Who else do you think will die soon?
I have yet to see anything that truly reflects just how powerful a wizard can possibly be.
You know, this move is really, really, really awesome in an absolutely terrible way.
I think this might just be one of the best bad movies ever made.
Perhaps they don’t repeat spells because they can only cast them a limited number of times per day?
Also, LORDS OF MAGIC!! I have that game! It’s soo awesome, and the instruction booklet is like a small novel, filled with backstory and history and the ingame races and religions. It’s one of my favorite games! :D
You’re in my way, sir.
70′s porno sounds got me :D :D
Where is porno music at 5:30 from?
All the comments early in the thread on Spoony’s shirt and the3 PSN shutdown reference therein, and no mention of where it presumably came from? I guess there’s less crossover of fandoms than I might have thought…
i laughed so hard at everything, i think that spaz missile move will become part of my daily routine. and if that was an MDMA “rolling” reference you made towards the last third of the video than i need to re-watch that part because if so, it was pure gold.
This movie actually looks better than Beast Master 2. At least Lords of Magick doesn’t look like it contains toxic amounts of the 1990s.
Gotta say, that girl playing the princess is pretty damn cute. Thanks for the review, Noah. FUCKING hilarious.
OMG he watches Whitest Kids You Know! I love this man! :)
The guy who plays Salatin reminds me of Milan Fras from this band:
Was this movie ripping off Laibach? O.o
I just had a sinister realization: Scene with Spoony on the phone with his lawyer + flashback scene from the Mazes & Monsters review = accidental continuity?
the slim jim guy actually died just a few days after this was uploaded, it was a car crash, I guess being blown up might have messed his driving on the way home from spoony’s place (no disrespect for the man though)
On the opening text scrawl: They didn’t bother to warp the text to make it look even a bit like it was on a scroll.
We’re in for a *long* climb.
You sir are truly an old school gamer. You make references to Monkey Island und you seem to understand them, you know about Quest for Glory and Kings Quest. And you seem to adore the Wing Commander Series as much as I do. Awesome.
can someone PLEASE make a spas laser git?
Everytime I see a movie that goes the “person from a different world thrust into modern western society” route, two different phrases run through my head: 1) “this is going to be painful” and 2) “Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap”. Why does the second one come after the first? Because then I realise exactly HOW painful it’s going to be.
Thoroughly enjoyable review. Thanks to Spoony and Brad Jones I have now been exposed to more shot-on-shiteo movies than I ever wanted to in my life time. And yes, everyone has noticed the continuity in Spoony’s “hookers I’ve killed due to voices in my head” chronology. Some of us have also been taking notes *insert evil laugh here*.
this movie is amazing. it really is like they got the script from the doodles i made on my 7th grade notebooks.
Looking for this movie on Wikipedia, and it seems as though Ron Jeremy was in this somewhere. Where the hell was he?
i guess the building caught on fire because the sporadic magic missile fireworks machinegun spray BS.
So that’s how Macho Man died.
What is the music at 5:30 I’ve heard it before, think it was in a game.
Awesome review Spoony. I really enjoyed it. Thanks!
spoony killed randy macho man savage….well he warned him about the land mines.
the theme to lords of magick sounds like star trek the next generation theme kind of
Wait- that whore thing was real?! Is it it you, Spoony? Thats so WEIRD.
How about reading a chapter from one of your favorite DnD book as an Vlog experiment? I mean; could be awesome. I know nothing about that kind of literature, and I’m sure it will be interesting even to people who do know alot about it.
Just a thought that hit me, as I’m revisiting old reviews and Vlogs of the great Spoony ;-)
Well it is said that a great comedian can make the phone book funny, so the same must be true of a DnD book…
Just to ramble a little on this topic, I do really think that Noah’s just one of those comedians who you can listen to talk about pretty much anything. And that’s a really rare compliment I don’t give out too often. The only other person who I can say this of in terms of internet comedians (and I’ve been exposed to a lot of em) are Todd In The Shadows and maybe Martin Billany (Little Kuriboh) on a good day, who also have that rare conversational quality where you can put them in front of the camera, give them a topic, and they WILL entertain you.
I mean, to illustrate, I’ve watched every one of Noah’s wrestlewrestle vids and in the beginning I didn’t follow wrestling and I had no idea about it… and then I started WATCHING THE BLOODY STUFF BECAUSE OF HIM!!! (I quickly stopped watching TNA when I realised exactly how eye-bleedingly bad it was)
Better yet do an imitation of Christopher Walken reading your favorite DnD book.
I’m surprised you said this movie was worse than Captain America. At least this movie looked entertaining, in a so-bad-it’s-good sort of way Captain America was just a two-hour dullfest.
I had that Sirrea Lords of Magic game. It was virtually unplayable.
the guy with the beard looks like kurt russell
This movie was actually sent on Danish television about a year ago.
I’d say he thought they were still fighting the Reconquista, rather than the crusades, since he was a moor after all.
OKAY BUT IF THERE’S ANY GIRLS THERE I WANNA DO THEM!
Twas no car accident that killed the Savage man! Twas the Spoony One!
Oh come on, Spoony wouldn’t kill Savage…. intentionally. The Ultimate Warrior on the hand, heck Spoony would probably sell the footage on pay-per-view.
IDK this seemed like a great movie to watch. the plot sounded like something you would get from a big budget movie.
Ulric, seriously one of the best heroes ever.
Satan’s his first stop when he needs help and whores are more important then saving the world and all that garbage.
The corpse satan kind of sounded like Gollum when he laughed. Or is it just me? O___o
I can’t help but imagine Mr. Bean every time Magick is uttered.
Oh my god! The spaz lasers and excessive rape scenes absolutely killed me, your jokes are dead on and hilariously funny! Laughed the hardest I ever laughed at the spaz lasers… This to me, looks like the greatest movie ever made! The: “Its so bad and cheesy its actually God like” kind of movie! I will scour the internet for a copy of this movie! I bet its an amazingly good time drunk!
The librarian bit amused me, because I actually work as one. I know it’s a different era, but we like to serve people quickly and friendly as possible. If nobody else is at the desk I can actually get their card ready to borrow even before they’re done filling out the form. lol 2 week waiting list…
This was pure awesome x3
Though the thing with library is quite serious though. I did a week of practice work at the local library here and I was told that they have serious problems with stupid kids that run in and wreck shit up, and they can’t really do anything about it because Swedish laws are very lack luster so they can only really yell at them and nothing more. Once, one slapped a kid and got suspended for a week or something while that kid was crying out in the local newspaper about how bad he felt.
Nor can they call the police because the police have bigger fish to catch – but seeing as this is Sweden they don’t really.
Just a hint: None of you know jack-shit about anything political, so you should all just shut the fuck up about politics. Mmmkay? Jesus fucking Christ, you people talk politics like five year olds.
Why the hell do these “Lords of Magick” look like Swashbuckling rogues? Shouldn’t they look like wizards with pointy hats and stuff?
Is that the only complaint about our protagonists? I mean, not angry about them being demon-summoning, murdering, law-breaking accidental rapists (although Ulrich probably is a convicted rapist, knowing him)? Just that they aren’t dressed like stereotypical wizards. I mean, don’t you remember Spoony’s tips from “Counter Monkey”? “If you want to be a wizard, then don’t dress like one, otherwise people are gonna go for your squishy face first”.
On an unrelated note, that guy on the left at 10:07? That’s Robert Axelrod, also known as Lord Zedd. No, I’m not joking. That’s actually him.
*spits up coffee*
WHAT?! The guy who did the voice of Lord Zedd?! Seriously? Awww….I would have died laughing if it turned out that this movie is the one that allowed him to perfect the laugh he would do later as Zedd.
Is it me, or does the music on the Titlecard for this film sound like a crappy remix of the Star Trek TNG opening theme?
5:29 – Bow-Chicka-Bowwow!
wait brad punched lupa . . . what?
I haven’t seen the Irn Bru 32 advert in years
pure mental stimulation in a can!
Actualy i think this flick is amusing for what it is:P
Yeah, nice midi samples for a movie soundtrack. Really does remind me of early 90s pc games.