He took care of the place. Now he’s going to “take care” of the place. Permanently.

The Spoony One | May 1 2009 | more notation(s) | 

Manos The Hands of Vengeance

You may think that if I ever got the chance to make this movie, I wouldn’t take it all that seriously, intentionally making a shitty-beyond-belief movie with no regard for tradecraft or continuity, intentionally choosing horrendous actors and looping all their dialogue myself, and basically emulating the exact same style that made the original “Manos” infamous. You’d be expecting some kind of lame, 70-minute session of grab-ass in the desert with my friends dressed up in bedsheets.

Not so.

I might be going for campy fun, sure, but my inspiration for this one is the same kind of gritty, ugly, uncomfortable violence that made sadistic gore horror movies of the 70s like I Spit on Your Grave and Last House on the Left classics. Oh, you might not like those movies, and even I’ll admit that they’re not very good, but they’re definitely memorable, violent, boundary-pushing movies. Those movies are stark, shocking stuff, man. They’ll move you. That’s my inspiration for “Manos” 2: I want to get those chuckling MST3K nostalgia junkies into a theater and give them a good, solid twist of the nuts with a well-made, brutal revenge flick.

Just bear with me.

I had a lot of questions after watching “Manos:” The Hands of Fate, most of them involving The Master (the guy in the black robe), his wives, and of course Torgo, the caretaker of the Valley Lodge. The movie never really gives us an idea of what The Master does to fill his day (except maybe sleep), and yet he’s supposed to be this massively evil mastermind who communes with some Satanic power in order to…what, rule some rat’s armpit town in New Mexico? I don’t know, and I doubt Harold P. Warren did, either. But I hate an incomplete puzzle, and I feel a compulsive need to fill in the blanks.

We don’t really need to get too complicated here: for years, The Master has been subtly collecting wives and brainwashing worshippers, amassing power, and memorizing a series of long, intricate incantations sent to him in dream visions. It’s a long, painstaking process, and he often spends months at a time physically comatose, spiritually wandering the hellish dreamscape that imprisons the hell-god Manos. There, he engages in psychic commune with the dark deity, struggling to comprehend the alien thoughts of a consciousness that has seen the passing of untold eons. He hopes to open a portal to this hell and bring Manos into the world. The Master’s preparations are nearing completion, the celestial alignment for the final dark ritual to open the portal is nearing, and once that’s open, the end of the world is assured.

The Master’s had a lot on his mind, and he’s been driven mad with his imminent ascension as the prophet of Manos. Not to mention he’s a cackling, sadistic, chauvanistic, abusive bastard who enjoys his eeeeevil work far too much. He forgot just one thing: Torgo. He’s been slapping him around for the better part of a decade, warping him mentally and physically with his magic into some satyric freak, rewarding him with only pain and emotional abuse. When Michael and his family arrived at the house, Torgo had real human contact for the first time. No spooky hell-hounds, no fiendish cabals or black masses under the thousand-faced moon, just people and their cute puppy. He missed that kind of contact. He began to realize that there was a world out there, and it was about damn time that the Master came through on his promises or he’d quit and seek his own fortune. Or at least a boss that doesn’t beat him with a staff.

The Master didn’t take Torgo’s ultimatum well. In fact, he blew the poor bastard’s hand off and thought the matter settled. Torgo scurried off into the desert, and given his grievous injury and the fact that there’s nothing but desert around for miles in all directions, the Master chalked him up for dead and brainwashed Michael into becoming the new caretaker.

But Torgo isn’t dead. Not by a long shot. He’s taken worse beatings in his life; after all, why do you think he walks so funny? But now he knows that the Master never intended to keep his word. He was laughing at Torgo from the beginning, always planning to wring him out like a mop and throw him away when he was of no more use. He’s had enough. Now he lurks in the shadows around the lodge, burned, broken, crippled, half-mad with pain and dehydration with only one thought on his mind:

That motherfucker is going to pay.

He knows he can’t take the Master directly. Even if he were in his prime– and he most certainly is not– the Master is for all intents and purposes completely immortal. He’s infused with the infernal magics of Manos and virtually immune to physical attacks. At first he thought that the Master might be vulnerable in his sleep, but now he knows that even his wives retain some form of awareness even in their deepest slumber. There’s no way he can kill a guy that powerful. But he doesn’t need to kill him, he just needs to bring the wrath of Manos down upon him, and what better way than to disrupt his ultimate summoning spell that only comes once every 666 years?

The Master can’t be everywhere at once, and all Torgo needs to do before he gets caught is cause enough damage to make the ritual impossible. He’s going to start with the Master’s wives, those snickering bitches. They’re awake now, preparing spell components and fetching materials for the Master. And luckily for Torgo, they tend to stay as far away from each other as possible because they can’t stand one another. They’re sitting ducks. They laughed at him behind his back when he did nothing but faithfully serve them. They used him, tormented him, mocked him, and now they’re going to suffer for it. He’s gonna fuck ‘em, and he’s gonna kill ‘em. At this point, he doesn’t even care if it’s in that order.

Oh no, the Master will not approve. But he’s not going to be able to do anything about it before it’s too late.

  • http://umphlet.com/ Sean Umphlet

    This is actually the best idea I’ve heard in a long time…

  • http://umphlet.com/ Sean Umphlet

    This is actually the best idea I’ve heard in a long time…

  • http://umphlet.com/ Sean Umphlet

    This is actually the best idea I’ve heard in a long time…

  • Goldstubble

    Cast Tim Curry in it for ultra win!

    And now some sleep so i can enjoy an eventful free comic book day!

  • Goldstubble

    Cast Tim Curry in it for ultra win!

    And now some sleep so i can enjoy an eventful free comic book day!

  • Goldstubble

    Cast Tim Curry in it for ultra win!

    And now some sleep so i can enjoy an eventful free comic book day!

  • Kinahto

    HELL YES! I’ve thought it would be a great idea to have a movie starring Torgo ever since I saw Manos. Though, for some reason, I always imagined Torgo somehow gaining control over his constantly-on-fire stump arm, and using it as some makeshift magical flamethrower.

  • Kinahto

    HELL YES! I’ve thought it would be a great idea to have a movie starring Torgo ever since I saw Manos. Though, for some reason, I always imagined Torgo somehow gaining control over his constantly-on-fire stump arm, and using it as some makeshift magical flamethrower.

  • Kinahto

    HELL YES! I’ve thought it would be a great idea to have a movie starring Torgo ever since I saw Manos. Though, for some reason, I always imagined Torgo somehow gaining control over his constantly-on-fire stump arm, and using it as some makeshift magical flamethrower.

  • Miggins

    I can see Tim Curry as the Master too. I wonder if you’d wanna include Mike Nelson in it since he was a perfect Torgo. He even had the walk down.

    My question is, after he killed the wives, would he leave some sort of calling card like taking off the hand that the master turned into wax/broke off?

    I don’t know about you guys, but I like these. So I’m definitely willing to wait for another vid to watch and just read these.

  • Miggins

    I can see Tim Curry as the Master too. I wonder if you’d wanna include Mike Nelson in it since he was a perfect Torgo. He even had the walk down.

    My question is, after he killed the wives, would he leave some sort of calling card like taking off the hand that the master turned into wax/broke off?

    I don’t know about you guys, but I like these. So I’m definitely willing to wait for another vid to watch and just read these.

  • Miggins

    I can see Tim Curry as the Master too. I wonder if you’d wanna include Mike Nelson in it since he was a perfect Torgo. He even had the walk down.

    My question is, after he killed the wives, would he leave some sort of calling card like taking off the hand that the master turned into wax/broke off?

    I don’t know about you guys, but I like these. So I’m definitely willing to wait for another vid to watch and just read these.

  • ChibiSoma

    I look at that image and for some reason all I can hear is a certain someone yelling “CAAAAN YOOOOU DIG IIIIIT?!”

  • ChibiSoma

    I look at that image and for some reason all I can hear is a certain someone yelling “CAAAAN YOOOOU DIG IIIIIT?!”

  • ChibiSoma

    I look at that image and for some reason all I can hear is a certain someone yelling “CAAAAN YOOOOU DIG IIIIIT?!”

  • Resident01

    This is well thought out. Casting question: Can Sam Jackson be Manos?

  • Resident01

    This is well thought out. Casting question: Can Sam Jackson be Manos?

  • Resident01

    This is well thought out. Casting question: Can Sam Jackson be Manos?

  • communismfairy

    somehow I think a different Jackson (first initial is M) may be a better Manos

  • communismfairy

    somehow I think a different Jackson (first initial is M) may be a better Manos

  • communismfairy

    somehow I think a different Jackson (first initial is M) may be a better Manos

  • Lotus Prince

    That’d be kickass. Also, Torgo can amass his own money and power by working a legitimate job. Remember the MST3K take? It isn’t Togo’s Pizza. It’s TORGO’S PIZZA!

  • Lotus Prince

    That’d be kickass. Also, Torgo can amass his own money and power by working a legitimate job. Remember the MST3K take? It isn’t Togo’s Pizza. It’s TORGO’S PIZZA!

  • Lotus Prince

    That’d be kickass. Also, Torgo can amass his own money and power by working a legitimate job. Remember the MST3K take? It isn’t Togo’s Pizza. It’s TORGO’S PIZZA!

  • http://www.zebragirl.net/ Joe England

    I like the sound of this, but… I’m a chuckling MST3K nostalgia junky! And I don’t want my nuts twisted! They haven’t recovered from the last time!

  • http://www.zebragirl.net/ Joe England

    I like the sound of this, but… I’m a chuckling MST3K nostalgia junky! And I don’t want my nuts twisted! They haven’t recovered from the last time!

  • http://www.zebragirl.net Joe England

    I like the sound of this, but… I’m a chuckling MST3K nostalgia junky! And I don’t want my nuts twisted! They haven’t recovered from the last time!

  • Ghost

    Your screenplay ideas are very well thought-out for something you’ve convinced you should never do again, and I’m fascinated reading them. The Manos idea would have been achievable too had the movie not achieved cult status and actually be worth money anymore. Hell, the people who still own the rights might be up for a sequel if they were crazy enough to keep ownership of it for so many years.

    Also, to anyone else complaining about the lack of visual stimulus, rant about it somewhere else.

  • Ghost

    Your screenplay ideas are very well thought-out for something you’ve convinced you should never do again, and I’m fascinated reading them. The Manos idea would have been achievable too had the movie not achieved cult status and actually be worth money anymore. Hell, the people who still own the rights might be up for a sequel if they were crazy enough to keep ownership of it for so many years.

    Also, to anyone else complaining about the lack of visual stimulus, rant about it somewhere else.

  • Ghost

    Your screenplay ideas are very well thought-out for something you’ve convinced you should never do again, and I’m fascinated reading them. The Manos idea would have been achievable too had the movie not achieved cult status and actually be worth money anymore. Hell, the people who still own the rights might be up for a sequel if they were crazy enough to keep ownership of it for so many years.

    Also, to anyone else complaining about the lack of visual stimulus, rant about it somewhere else.

  • nosferatuxizzy

    Damn

    We need to get you funding and make Manos 2: The Revenge happen.

  • nosferatuxizzy

    Damn

    We need to get you funding and make Manos 2: The Revenge happen.

  • nosferatuxizzy

    Damn

    We need to get you funding and make Manos 2: The Revenge happen.

  • A-kun

    I SO want to see this movie. :D

  • A-kun

    I SO want to see this movie. :D

  • A-kun

    I SO want to see this movie. :D

  • http://atopfourthwall.blogspot.com/ Linkara

    “Remember when this site used to have videos?”

    Remember when people used to be patient and could just sit back and enjoy? And you had better, because otherwise tHe MaStEr WiLl NoT aPpRoVe.

  • http://atopfourthwall.blogspot.com/ Linkara

    “Remember when this site used to have videos?”

    Remember when people used to be patient and could just sit back and enjoy? And you had better, because otherwise tHe MaStEr WiLl NoT aPpRoVe.

  • http://atopfourthwall.blogspot.com Linkara

    “Remember when this site used to have videos?”

    Remember when people used to be patient and could just sit back and enjoy? And you had better, because otherwise tHe MaStEr WiLl NoT aPpRoVe.

  • Gorvar

    Eeeeeevil work!
    Are you oing to cure that problem witrh SCIENCE?!

  • Gorvar

    Eeeeeevil work!
    Are you oing to cure that problem witrh SCIENCE?!

  • Gorvar

    Eeeeeevil work!
    Are you oing to cure that problem witrh SCIENCE?!

  • Gorvar

    Hey Linkara posts here what a suprise.
    Hehy, lay off Daredevil man, those issues weren’t that bad! >.<

  • Gorvar

    Hey Linkara posts here what a suprise.
    Hehy, lay off Daredevil man, those issues weren’t that bad! >.<

  • Gorvar

    Hey Linkara posts here what a suprise.
    Hehy, lay off Daredevil man, those issues weren’t that bad! >.<

  • poiuppx

    A. Freaking. Mazing.

    Somehow, i could imagine as the film goes on, the ‘haunting Torgo theme’ becomes more and more deranged, descending into something Lemmy from Motorhead would hear in his nightmares, as Torgo loses it further and further and his revenge killings become more and more twisted.

    Curious as to how you’d handle the whole brainwashed family bit, especially the kid… I mean, sounds to me like this would be happening very soon after Manos 1 ended. Would you seriously have Torgo splatter the kid’s brains all over the Lodge walls, or would even kill-crazy Torgo have his limits?

    And to the folks who insist on responding to every post he does with ‘sucks cause there’s no videos’, smeg off and go make your own website to give people free entertainment. Or, simpler, go to youtube and watch whatever strikes your fancy. The Spoony One is funny/interesting in any damn form, and if you’ve got that much of a bug up your butt about *gasp* reading something, then I weep for your future prospects.

  • poiuppx

    A. Freaking. Mazing.

    Somehow, i could imagine as the film goes on, the ‘haunting Torgo theme’ becomes more and more deranged, descending into something Lemmy from Motorhead would hear in his nightmares, as Torgo loses it further and further and his revenge killings become more and more twisted.

    Curious as to how you’d handle the whole brainwashed family bit, especially the kid… I mean, sounds to me like this would be happening very soon after Manos 1 ended. Would you seriously have Torgo splatter the kid’s brains all over the Lodge walls, or would even kill-crazy Torgo have his limits?

    And to the folks who insist on responding to every post he does with ‘sucks cause there’s no videos’, smeg off and go make your own website to give people free entertainment. Or, simpler, go to youtube and watch whatever strikes your fancy. The Spoony One is funny/interesting in any damn form, and if you’ve got that much of a bug up your butt about *gasp* reading something, then I weep for your future prospects.

  • poiuppx

    A. Freaking. Mazing.

    Somehow, i could imagine as the film goes on, the ‘haunting Torgo theme’ becomes more and more deranged, descending into something Lemmy from Motorhead would hear in his nightmares, as Torgo loses it further and further and his revenge killings become more and more twisted.

    Curious as to how you’d handle the whole brainwashed family bit, especially the kid… I mean, sounds to me like this would be happening very soon after Manos 1 ended. Would you seriously have Torgo splatter the kid’s brains all over the Lodge walls, or would even kill-crazy Torgo have his limits?

    And to the folks who insist on responding to every post he does with ‘sucks cause there’s no videos’, smeg off and go make your own website to give people free entertainment. Or, simpler, go to youtube and watch whatever strikes your fancy. The Spoony One is funny/interesting in any damn form, and if you’ve got that much of a bug up your butt about *gasp* reading something, then I weep for your future prospects.

  • Ahmed

    This is funny, because me and a friend had a chat about how if Manos was actually done well, it could be very very creepy.

    And then we started thinking up ideas.

    Let’s just say, the only difference between your idea and ours was that you’re talking about a sequel. We’re talking remake.

    Some may actually pray that we never do this. But still, I like to think it’s very possible. Besides, like the director of “Let the Right One In”
    said, bad movies are the ones that should be remade.

  • Ahmed

    This is funny, because me and a friend had a chat about how if Manos was actually done well, it could be very very creepy.

    And then we started thinking up ideas.

    Let’s just say, the only difference between your idea and ours was that you’re talking about a sequel. We’re talking remake.

    Some may actually pray that we never do this. But still, I like to think it’s very possible. Besides, like the director of “Let the Right One In”
    said, bad movies are the ones that should be remade.

  • Ahmed

    This is funny, because me and a friend had a chat about how if Manos was actually done well, it could be very very creepy.

    And then we started thinking up ideas.

    Let’s just say, the only difference between your idea and ours was that you’re talking about a sequel. We’re talking remake.

    Some may actually pray that we never do this. But still, I like to think it’s very possible. Besides, like the director of “Let the Right One In”
    said, bad movies are the ones that should be remade.

  • David Blane

    Why don’t you just explain that the master’s powers are a result of mitoclorians while you fill in all the other blanks Noah. And I think you know exactly what I mean when I say that.

    Manos, which incidentaly happens to be the spanish word for “hands” is one of those once in a life time experiences that a wise man should never attempt to reclaim. It cannot be done anyway. To even speak of it, satire or not, is heresy. Watch out God doesn’t strike you down with swine flu and turn you into a pirate.

  • David Blane

    Why don’t you just explain that the master’s powers are a result of mitoclorians while you fill in all the other blanks Noah. And I think you know exactly what I mean when I say that.

    Manos, which incidentaly happens to be the spanish word for “hands” is one of those once in a life time experiences that a wise man should never attempt to reclaim. It cannot be done anyway. To even speak of it, satire or not, is heresy. Watch out God doesn’t strike you down with swine flu and turn you into a pirate.

  • David Blane

    Why don’t you just explain that the master’s powers are a result of mitoclorians while you fill in all the other blanks Noah. And I think you know exactly what I mean when I say that.

    Manos, which incidentaly happens to be the spanish word for “hands” is one of those once in a life time experiences that a wise man should never attempt to reclaim. It cannot be done anyway. To even speak of it, satire or not, is heresy. Watch out God doesn’t strike you down with swine flu and turn you into a pirate.

  • http://www.myspace.com/professorskar Professor Skar

    I can imagine the Kill Bill parody teasers already….

  • http://www.myspace.com/professorskar Professor Skar

    I can imagine the Kill Bill parody teasers already….

  • http://www.myspace.com/professorskar Professor Skar

    I can imagine the Kill Bill parody teasers already….

  • http://lurkerwithout.livejournal.com/ LurkerWithout

    I demand “Son of Mitchell”!

  • http://lurkerwithout.livejournal.com/ LurkerWithout

    I demand “Son of Mitchell”!

  • http://lurkerwithout.livejournal.com LurkerWithout

    I demand “Son of Mitchell”!

  • aaa

    This movie will be directed by Coleman Francis and funded by L. Ron Hubbard.

  • aaa

    This movie will be directed by Coleman Francis and funded by L. Ron Hubbard.

  • aaa

    This movie will be directed by Coleman Francis and funded by L. Ron Hubbard.

  • DamonD

    It’s funny really, Manos IS one of those films that you can just get oddly curious about. The trappings are there for something interesting. Like the previous ideas, I like how you spin it off into a new direction.

    “That motherfucker is going to pay. It will be dark soon! That motherfucker is going to pay.”

  • DamonD

    It’s funny really, Manos IS one of those films that you can just get oddly curious about. The trappings are there for something interesting. Like the previous ideas, I like how you spin it off into a new direction.

    “That motherfucker is going to pay. It will be dark soon! That motherfucker is going to pay.”

  • DamonD

    It’s funny really, Manos IS one of those films that you can just get oddly curious about. The trappings are there for something interesting. Like the previous ideas, I like how you spin it off into a new direction.

    “That motherfucker is going to pay. It will be dark soon! That motherfucker is going to pay.”

  • Sintu

    Spoony, please keep doing written articles/reviews until the majority of your annoying fanbase is gone. That way it’ll be mostly the cool people.

  • Sintu

    Spoony, please keep doing written articles/reviews until the majority of your annoying fanbase is gone. That way it’ll be mostly the cool people.

  • Sintu

    Spoony, please keep doing written articles/reviews until the majority of your annoying fanbase is gone. That way it’ll be mostly the cool people.

  • http://www.giantrobotinvasion.com/ Matt Willard

    MANOS 2: VENGEANCE OF THE UNSEEN DAWN.

    Radicola.

  • http://www.giantrobotinvasion.com/ Matt Willard

    MANOS 2: VENGEANCE OF THE UNSEEN DAWN.

    Radicola.

  • http://www.giantrobotinvasion.com Matt Willard

    MANOS 2: VENGEANCE OF THE UNSEEN DAWN.

    Radicola.

  • LDavis

    Another screenplay idea that I enjoyed, I don’t think writing screenplays is something you shouldn’t do ever again. I’m curious to see what other ideas you have.

  • LDavis

    Another screenplay idea that I enjoyed, I don’t think writing screenplays is something you shouldn’t do ever again. I’m curious to see what other ideas you have.

  • LDavis

    Another screenplay idea that I enjoyed, I don’t think writing screenplays is something you shouldn’t do ever again. I’m curious to see what other ideas you have.

  • Anon

    I think Spoony should write articles for an entire month just to piss off the little kiddies

  • Anon

    I think Spoony should write articles for an entire month just to piss off the little kiddies

  • Anon

    I think Spoony should write articles for an entire month just to piss off the little kiddies

  • Viper6390

    Does anybody know how to contact Spoony to give him a suggestion for a review? I was going to ask him to do a review on the latest X-men movie because I think there are so many things that he could rant on. X-men Origins: Wolverine in my opinion was probably just as bad if not worse than X-3. I would love to see Spoony rip this movie apart.

  • Viper6390

    Does anybody know how to contact Spoony to give him a suggestion for a review? I was going to ask him to do a review on the latest X-men movie because I think there are so many things that he could rant on. X-men Origins: Wolverine in my opinion was probably just as bad if not worse than X-3. I would love to see Spoony rip this movie apart.

  • Viper6390

    Does anybody know how to contact Spoony to give him a suggestion for a review? I was going to ask him to do a review on the latest X-men movie because I think there are so many things that he could rant on. X-men Origins: Wolverine in my opinion was probably just as bad if not worse than X-3. I would love to see Spoony rip this movie apart.

  • Ae

    Hahah, awesome set-up. I’m also fairly sure that Manos is public domain, since it’s freely available on Internet Archive. :D ‘Cept for the small hitch of getting funding for it, it would be completely awesome to see something like this.

  • Ae

    Hahah, awesome set-up. I’m also fairly sure that Manos is public domain, since it’s freely available on Internet Archive. :D ‘Cept for the small hitch of getting funding for it, it would be completely awesome to see something like this.

  • Ae

    Hahah, awesome set-up. I’m also fairly sure that Manos is public domain, since it’s freely available on Internet Archive. :D ‘Cept for the small hitch of getting funding for it, it would be completely awesome to see something like this.

  • Boadicia

    OMG. I was actually watching Manos online (the MST3K version) right before coming to this site. Uncanny.

  • Boadicia

    OMG. I was actually watching Manos online (the MST3K version) right before coming to this site. Uncanny.

  • Boadicia

    OMG. I was actually watching Manos online (the MST3K version) right before coming to this site. Uncanny.

  • itsthetruth

    “I think Spoony should write articles for an entire month just to piss off the little kiddies”

    Then people would just stop bothering to come here. Considering a majority of his audence fan base are lurkers I can see that happening.

  • itsthetruth

    “I think Spoony should write articles for an entire month just to piss off the little kiddies”

    Then people would just stop bothering to come here. Considering a majority of his audence fan base are lurkers I can see that happening.

  • itsthetruth

    “I think Spoony should write articles for an entire month just to piss off the little kiddies”

    Then people would just stop bothering to come here. Considering a majority of his audence fan base are lurkers I can see that happening.

  • Vermithrax

    First off, I love these articles. Your writing has always been superb, which is what drew me into your site to begin with.

    Secondly, DUDE!!! This movie idea is beyond awesome. I’d not only watch it, I might even find some way to help fund it (“might” as in IF I could find something resembling money to contribute). Hell, I’d even come out there and hold a camera or a light or play a corpse or something (I’m not much of an actor).

    A good read. Keep ‘em coming.

  • Vermithrax

    First off, I love these articles. Your writing has always been superb, which is what drew me into your site to begin with.

    Secondly, DUDE!!! This movie idea is beyond awesome. I’d not only watch it, I might even find some way to help fund it (“might” as in IF I could find something resembling money to contribute). Hell, I’d even come out there and hold a camera or a light or play a corpse or something (I’m not much of an actor).

    A good read. Keep ‘em coming.

  • Vermithrax

    First off, I love these articles. Your writing has always been superb, which is what drew me into your site to begin with.

    Secondly, DUDE!!! This movie idea is beyond awesome. I’d not only watch it, I might even find some way to help fund it (“might” as in IF I could find something resembling money to contribute). Hell, I’d even come out there and hold a camera or a light or play a corpse or something (I’m not much of an actor).

    A good read. Keep ‘em coming.

  • Throneofeden

    Wow, guys, way to see his fans backing him up. When the times get tough, it’s really easy to see who’s backs are against the wall first. You people call yourselves fans, but you bitch and moan whenever you don’t get an update that is exactly geared towards your personal preferences. Way to go. You have just become the most abominable tools on the internet. Kudos. I hear it’s a tough thing to become. But I guess all it requires is to rag on a guy’s personal website for putting up pieces of fan-fiction in an attempt to appease his viewer’s pallets while he sorts through issues in his life which are preventing him from getting updates up that appeal to his fans. Oh wait, so I guess it’s not all that hard in the end. Douche bags.

    PS. Keep putting up whatever material you want, Noah, those who give enough of a shit will read it anyway, and will keep coming back for more.

    Those are my two cents. I am finished.

  • Throneofeden

    Wow, guys, way to see his fans backing him up. When the times get tough, it’s really easy to see who’s backs are against the wall first. You people call yourselves fans, but you bitch and moan whenever you don’t get an update that is exactly geared towards your personal preferences. Way to go. You have just become the most abominable tools on the internet. Kudos. I hear it’s a tough thing to become. But I guess all it requires is to rag on a guy’s personal website for putting up pieces of fan-fiction in an attempt to appease his viewer’s pallets while he sorts through issues in his life which are preventing him from getting updates up that appeal to his fans. Oh wait, so I guess it’s not all that hard in the end. Douche bags.

    PS. Keep putting up whatever material you want, Noah, those who give enough of a shit will read it anyway, and will keep coming back for more.

    Those are my two cents. I am finished.

  • Throneofeden

    Wow, guys, way to see his fans backing him up. When the times get tough, it’s really easy to see who’s backs are against the wall first. You people call yourselves fans, but you bitch and moan whenever you don’t get an update that is exactly geared towards your personal preferences. Way to go. You have just become the most abominable tools on the internet. Kudos. I hear it’s a tough thing to become. But I guess all it requires is to rag on a guy’s personal website for putting up pieces of fan-fiction in an attempt to appease his viewer’s pallets while he sorts through issues in his life which are preventing him from getting updates up that appeal to his fans. Oh wait, so I guess it’s not all that hard in the end. Douche bags.

    PS. Keep putting up whatever material you want, Noah, those who give enough of a shit will read it anyway, and will keep coming back for more.

    Those are my two cents. I am finished.

  • betteridear

    here’s a better idea. Instead of writing all this stuff. Why not make a video about it?

    Just think you can maybe get someone to do some art work for the scenes and then explain it in like picture motion.

    It be 1000% more entertaining.

  • betteridear

    here’s a better idea. Instead of writing all this stuff. Why not make a video about it?

    Just think you can maybe get someone to do some art work for the scenes and then explain it in like picture motion.

    It be 1000% more entertaining.

  • betteridear

    here’s a better idea. Instead of writing all this stuff. Why not make a video about it?

    Just think you can maybe get someone to do some art work for the scenes and then explain it in like picture motion.

    It be 1000% more entertaining.

  • garymce

    “when will he make a frekin video i hate this writing stuff i like his videos”

    “Remember when this site used to have videos?”

    “here’s a better idea. Instead of writing all this stuff. Why not make a video about it? It be 1000% more entertaining.”

    OH NOES READING T3H WURZ IS SO HARDZ! WAH WAH WAAAAAH! plz 2 read it 2 me liek bedtime story plxkthz

    Personally, I’m finding these articles very funny. I’m sure it’s also a lot easier and quicker for Spoony to write up these synopses that he can put up here for people who enjoy his style of humour to read in shorter intervals between updates, instead of having to record and edit videos, and in turn that gives him more time to spend on other matters including – wait for it – making more review videos! I know, it’s such a difficult concept right?

    A few bits of awesome written work in between video updates = more content = more win.

  • garymce

    “when will he make a frekin video i hate this writing stuff i like his videos”

    “Remember when this site used to have videos?”

    “here’s a better idea. Instead of writing all this stuff. Why not make a video about it? It be 1000% more entertaining.”

    OH NOES READING T3H WURZ IS SO HARDZ! WAH WAH WAAAAAH! plz 2 read it 2 me liek bedtime story plxkthz

    Personally, I’m finding these articles very funny. I’m sure it’s also a lot easier and quicker for Spoony to write up these synopses that he can put up here for people who enjoy his style of humour to read in shorter intervals between updates, instead of having to record and edit videos, and in turn that gives him more time to spend on other matters including – wait for it – making more review videos! I know, it’s such a difficult concept right?

    A few bits of awesome written work in between video updates = more content = more win.

  • garymce

    “when will he make a frekin video i hate this writing stuff i like his videos”

    “Remember when this site used to have videos?”

    “here’s a better idea. Instead of writing all this stuff. Why not make a video about it? It be 1000% more entertaining.”

    OH NOES READING T3H WURZ IS SO HARDZ! WAH WAH WAAAAAH! plz 2 read it 2 me liek bedtime story plxkthz

    Personally, I’m finding these articles very funny. I’m sure it’s also a lot easier and quicker for Spoony to write up these synopses that he can put up here for people who enjoy his style of humour to read in shorter intervals between updates, instead of having to record and edit videos, and in turn that gives him more time to spend on other matters including – wait for it – making more review videos! I know, it’s such a difficult concept right?

    A few bits of awesome written work in between video updates = more content = more win.

  • BBQ Platypus

    ^^ Couldn’t agree more. Honestly, the aversion some people have to reading ANYTHING is depressingly indicative of where we’re going as a society.

    News flash: making a video is fucking HARD. Stop whining and enjoy the free content, you illiterate fuckwits.

  • BBQ Platypus

    ^^ Couldn’t agree more. Honestly, the aversion some people have to reading ANYTHING is depressingly indicative of where we’re going as a society.

    News flash: making a video is fucking HARD. Stop whining and enjoy the free content, you illiterate fuckwits.

  • BBQ Platypus

    ^^ Couldn’t agree more. Honestly, the aversion some people have to reading ANYTHING is depressingly indicative of where we’re going as a society.

    News flash: making a video is fucking HARD. Stop whining and enjoy the free content, you illiterate fuckwits.

  • Mathew952

    I’m not going to be a jack ass like everyone else and tell you how to run your site. The main reason everyone is upset, is because this is a new thing from you, and they want the same old sameold. I’ll admit a couple of these are over my head, but It’s good to see updates.

  • Mathew952

    I’m not going to be a jack ass like everyone else and tell you how to run your site. The main reason everyone is upset, is because this is a new thing from you, and they want the same old sameold. I’ll admit a couple of these are over my head, but It’s good to see updates.

  • Mathew952

    I’m not going to be a jack ass like everyone else and tell you how to run your site. The main reason everyone is upset, is because this is a new thing from you, and they want the same old sameold. I’ll admit a couple of these are over my head, but It’s good to see updates.

  • Barman

    Haha, that would be an awesome movie to see made. Oddly enough, it reminds me of Yahtzee’s Trilby series.

  • Barman

    Haha, that would be an awesome movie to see made. Oddly enough, it reminds me of Yahtzee’s Trilby series.

  • Barman

    Haha, that would be an awesome movie to see made. Oddly enough, it reminds me of Yahtzee’s Trilby series.

  • Darkxide

    This.

    Would RULE.

  • Darkxide

    This.

    Would RULE.

  • Darkxide

    This.

    Would RULE.

  • Deadpool47

    Dude, i would fucking pay top dollar to watch that. I Always believed Torgo got the shaft in this whole thing, and true, the movie was a festering ball of plotlessness, but in the insanity of it all, the reason he got screwed was because not only what you said, he wanted to get some. He wanted some poontang and had a hand blasted off. If I was Torgo, I’d become “Puños: The Fists of Beating”… It would have been the Feet of Ass-Kicking, but how F’ing butch can you be calling on a demon named “Pies”?

  • Deadpool47

    Dude, i would fucking pay top dollar to watch that. I Always believed Torgo got the shaft in this whole thing, and true, the movie was a festering ball of plotlessness, but in the insanity of it all, the reason he got screwed was because not only what you said, he wanted to get some. He wanted some poontang and had a hand blasted off. If I was Torgo, I’d become “Puños: The Fists of Beating”… It would have been the Feet of Ass-Kicking, but how F’ing butch can you be calling on a demon named “Pies”?

  • Deadpool47

    Dude, i would fucking pay top dollar to watch that. I Always believed Torgo got the shaft in this whole thing, and true, the movie was a festering ball of plotlessness, but in the insanity of it all, the reason he got screwed was because not only what you said, he wanted to get some. He wanted some poontang and had a hand blasted off. If I was Torgo, I’d become “Puños: The Fists of Beating”… It would have been the Feet of Ass-Kicking, but how F’ing butch can you be calling on a demon named “Pies”?

  • Quikquik

    Hands of Vengeance would kick ass!

  • Quikquik

    Hands of Vengeance would kick ass!

  • Quikquik

    Hands of Vengeance would kick ass!

  • jackal09

    So when did they let illiterate whining bitches become fans?

    Personally, Spoony can do whatever the hell he wants with his website. It’s different, but still amusing!

    I think Yahtzee said it best:

    “Fans are clingy complaining dipshits who will never ever be grateful for any concession you make. The moment you shut out their shrill, tremulous voices the happier you will be for it. Incidentally, why not buy a Zero Punctuation T-Shirt?”

  • jackal09

    So when did they let illiterate whining bitches become fans?

    Personally, Spoony can do whatever the hell he wants with his website. It’s different, but still amusing!

    I think Yahtzee said it best:

    “Fans are clingy complaining dipshits who will never ever be grateful for any concession you make. The moment you shut out their shrill, tremulous voices the happier you will be for it. Incidentally, why not buy a Zero Punctuation T-Shirt?”

  • jackal09

    So when did they let illiterate whining bitches become fans?

    Personally, Spoony can do whatever the hell he wants with his website. It’s different, but still amusing!

    I think Yahtzee said it best:

    “Fans are clingy complaining dipshits who will never ever be grateful for any concession you make. The moment you shut out their shrill, tremulous voices the happier you will be for it. Incidentally, why not buy a Zero Punctuation T-Shirt?”

  • http://daipanda.livejournal.com/ Panda

    Yay, more writing!
    Seriously though, I’ve actually missed your written stuff.
    Videos are good too of course, infact I can’t wait for the next Swat-bit personally, but I just love your way of writing.
    And I totally mean that in a non-suck-up way. Really.
    Also I can’t wait for you to get the rest of your textwork back up… Kinda miss them.

    To the whiners: Fuck off and go learn to appreciate the written word, you lazy assholes!

  • http://daipanda.livejournal.com/ Panda

    Yay, more writing!
    Seriously though, I’ve actually missed your written stuff.
    Videos are good too of course, infact I can’t wait for the next Swat-bit personally, but I just love your way of writing.
    And I totally mean that in a non-suck-up way. Really.
    Also I can’t wait for you to get the rest of your textwork back up… Kinda miss them.

    To the whiners: Fuck off and go learn to appreciate the written word, you lazy assholes!

  • http://daipanda.livejournal.com Panda

    Yay, more writing!
    Seriously though, I’ve actually missed your written stuff.
    Videos are good too of course, infact I can’t wait for the next Swat-bit personally, but I just love your way of writing.
    And I totally mean that in a non-suck-up way. Really.
    Also I can’t wait for you to get the rest of your textwork back up… Kinda miss them.

    To the whiners: Fuck off and go learn to appreciate the written word, you lazy assholes!

  • Iliketoread

    I like to read, when it’s interesting and informative.

    But this is boring and neither of those two mentioned above. SPoony please stick to what you do best and that’s “videos”.

    Now get to it!

  • Iliketoread

    I like to read, when it’s interesting and informative.

    But this is boring and neither of those two mentioned above. SPoony please stick to what you do best and that’s “videos”.

    Now get to it!

  • Iliketoread

    I like to read, when it’s interesting and informative.

    But this is boring and neither of those two mentioned above. SPoony please stick to what you do best and that’s “videos”.

    Now get to it!

  • Dr. Forrester

    here’s torgo’s updated theme music http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1EwrYQNB6c

  • Dr. Forrester

    here’s torgo’s updated theme music http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1EwrYQNB6c

  • Dr. Forrester

    here’s torgo’s updated theme music http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1EwrYQNB6c

  • http://www.giantrobotinvasion.com/ Matt Willard

    I like how a lot of these comments order Spoony to do shit. “Yeah, Spoony, um, you owe us, like, ten videos, and if you could take my grandma to bingo, I’d really appreciate it, just as long as you pretend you’re Sean Connery, because she went blind a long time ago and we want to make her last few years more exciting, okay?”

  • http://www.giantrobotinvasion.com/ Matt Willard

    I like how a lot of these comments order Spoony to do shit. “Yeah, Spoony, um, you owe us, like, ten videos, and if you could take my grandma to bingo, I’d really appreciate it, just as long as you pretend you’re Sean Connery, because she went blind a long time ago and we want to make her last few years more exciting, okay?”

  • http://www.giantrobotinvasion.com Matt Willard

    I like how a lot of these comments order Spoony to do shit. “Yeah, Spoony, um, you owe us, like, ten videos, and if you could take my grandma to bingo, I’d really appreciate it, just as long as you pretend you’re Sean Connery, because she went blind a long time ago and we want to make her last few years more exciting, okay?”

  • Dan

    I love how people bitch at the crowd who hates these reading segments. “Baaaaw! They’re all illiterate! Obviously someone who doesn’t want to read useless, trivial shit instead of watching the videos that made Spoony good to begin with are assholes! Let’s continue to kiss ass!”

    It’s better to have no updates until the next video comes out, then to be dicking around with writing these “screen plays”

  • Dan

    I love how people bitch at the crowd who hates these reading segments. “Baaaaw! They’re all illiterate! Obviously someone who doesn’t want to read useless, trivial shit instead of watching the videos that made Spoony good to begin with are assholes! Let’s continue to kiss ass!”

    It’s better to have no updates until the next video comes out, then to be dicking around with writing these “screen plays”

  • Dan

    I love how people bitch at the crowd who hates these reading segments. “Baaaaw! They’re all illiterate! Obviously someone who doesn’t want to read useless, trivial shit instead of watching the videos that made Spoony good to begin with are assholes! Let’s continue to kiss ass!”

    It’s better to have no updates until the next video comes out, then to be dicking around with writing these “screen plays”

  • Srawberryfag

    Dude, nice. I love spoony’s writings. They are pretty damn good, in some ways better then his (yours? I never know how to address things in comments. Should I talk to everyone or just the person I’m Commenting on? Bah, whatever) I always enjoyed reading the old movie reviews, although it makes me a little sad that they aren’t all up yet.

    And I love that you guys are like all bitching about the updates recently. Spoony’s not your personal pet monkey or anything, dancing for your entertainment. This is his god damned website, he can put whatever the fuck he wants up. you seem to forget that. He doesn’t have to post anything at all.

  • Srawberryfag

    Dude, nice. I love spoony’s writings. They are pretty damn good, in some ways better then his (yours? I never know how to address things in comments. Should I talk to everyone or just the person I’m Commenting on? Bah, whatever) I always enjoyed reading the old movie reviews, although it makes me a little sad that they aren’t all up yet.

    And I love that you guys are like all bitching about the updates recently. Spoony’s not your personal pet monkey or anything, dancing for your entertainment. This is his god damned website, he can put whatever the fuck he wants up. you seem to forget that. He doesn’t have to post anything at all.

  • Srawberryfag

    Dude, nice. I love spoony’s writings. They are pretty damn good, in some ways better then his (yours? I never know how to address things in comments. Should I talk to everyone or just the person I’m Commenting on? Bah, whatever) I always enjoyed reading the old movie reviews, although it makes me a little sad that they aren’t all up yet.

    And I love that you guys are like all bitching about the updates recently. Spoony’s not your personal pet monkey or anything, dancing for your entertainment. This is his god damned website, he can put whatever the fuck he wants up. you seem to forget that. He doesn’t have to post anything at all.

  • chunichi11

    Oh wow, I think you read a little too much into the “Manos” mythos, Spoony. The last I wanted to see of Torgo was taking TV’s Frank into Second Banana Heaven. He was happy there! lol.

    “Large…sausage and mushroom…thin…crust? Just let me get your…complimentary crazy bread–”
    “No! No!”
    “Hey, it’s been an hour but the pizza’s still warm…*blech*”

  • chunichi11

    Oh wow, I think you read a little too much into the “Manos” mythos, Spoony. The last I wanted to see of Torgo was taking TV’s Frank into Second Banana Heaven. He was happy there! lol.

    “Large…sausage and mushroom…thin…crust? Just let me get your…complimentary crazy bread–”
    “No! No!”
    “Hey, it’s been an hour but the pizza’s still warm…*blech*”

  • chunichi11

    Oh wow, I think you read a little too much into the “Manos” mythos, Spoony. The last I wanted to see of Torgo was taking TV’s Frank into Second Banana Heaven. He was happy there! lol.

    “Large…sausage and mushroom…thin…crust? Just let me get your…complimentary crazy bread–”
    “No! No!”
    “Hey, it’s been an hour but the pizza’s still warm…*blech*”

  • mrwednesdaynight

    I have been thinking about this concept for Manos 2 for two days now, thinking about how it would work, what it would look like. Actually, I would like to see this or something like it. If I had the money and power, I’d make it.

  • mrwednesdaynight

    I have been thinking about this concept for Manos 2 for two days now, thinking about how it would work, what it would look like. Actually, I would like to see this or something like it. If I had the money and power, I’d make it.

  • mrwednesdaynight

    I have been thinking about this concept for Manos 2 for two days now, thinking about how it would work, what it would look like. Actually, I would like to see this or something like it. If I had the money and power, I’d make it.

  • ak

    with torgo so crippled i wonder how hell get the strength to fight even the wives.bust in to the kitchen /get food and medical supply’s? any way i like the idea of this whole manos Apocalypse thing especially if you threw in plenty of scenes in the manos dimension
    also did you do a text review on the movie Hackers? i swear i saw it before the H section went back up and its gone now was it completely lost or will we see it again?

  • ak

    with torgo so crippled i wonder how hell get the strength to fight even the wives.bust in to the kitchen /get food and medical supply’s? any way i like the idea of this whole manos Apocalypse thing especially if you threw in plenty of scenes in the manos dimension
    also did you do a text review on the movie Hackers? i swear i saw it before the H section went back up and its gone now was it completely lost or will we see it again?

  • ak

    with torgo so crippled i wonder how hell get the strength to fight even the wives.bust in to the kitchen /get food and medical supply’s? any way i like the idea of this whole manos Apocalypse thing especially if you threw in plenty of scenes in the manos dimension
    also did you do a text review on the movie Hackers? i swear i saw it before the H section went back up and its gone now was it completely lost or will we see it again?

  • http://www.cheshirecatstudios.com/ LaughingMan

    The one movie that SHOULD be made. I mean, seriously, what would be scarier than a creepy looking guy who speaks with long pauses in his sentences, has enormous freakishly large KNEES, has his own ‘theme’ playing when he walks, and now has a hook for a hand?

    Manos: Torgo Strikes Back!

    … hey, it can’t be worse than the original, right?

  • http://www.cheshirecatstudios.com/ LaughingMan

    The one movie that SHOULD be made. I mean, seriously, what would be scarier than a creepy looking guy who speaks with long pauses in his sentences, has enormous freakishly large KNEES, has his own ‘theme’ playing when he walks, and now has a hook for a hand?

    Manos: Torgo Strikes Back!

    … hey, it can’t be worse than the original, right?

  • http://www.cheshirecatstudios.com LaughingMan

    The one movie that SHOULD be made. I mean, seriously, what would be scarier than a creepy looking guy who speaks with long pauses in his sentences, has enormous freakishly large KNEES, has his own ‘theme’ playing when he walks, and now has a hook for a hand?

    Manos: Torgo Strikes Back!

    … hey, it can’t be worse than the original, right?

  • Jared

    Spoony! MAKE THIS MOVIE! Fanfilm budget or not it will automatically be on par with or exceed the original simply because it will presumably not need the audio dubbed in after principal shooting, AND you won’t forget the opening credits. The film you’re describing sounds like it has real potential to become a hit, if not an underground cult classic of Evil Dead caliber. You’d have to write it in such a way though that you didn’t necessarily need to see the original Manos, as most people I know are aware of the movie, and even its basic plot, but that knowledge only comes from having read reviews online. Of course, Torgo has a cult following in his own right on the web, so you’re definitely on to something. Maybe you could film a couple of recreated flashback scenes like Robert Rodriquez did for the El Mariachi flashback scenes in Desperado. But I digress, MAKE THIS MOVIE!

  • Jared

    Spoony! MAKE THIS MOVIE! Fanfilm budget or not it will automatically be on par with or exceed the original simply because it will presumably not need the audio dubbed in after principal shooting, AND you won’t forget the opening credits. The film you’re describing sounds like it has real potential to become a hit, if not an underground cult classic of Evil Dead caliber. You’d have to write it in such a way though that you didn’t necessarily need to see the original Manos, as most people I know are aware of the movie, and even its basic plot, but that knowledge only comes from having read reviews online. Of course, Torgo has a cult following in his own right on the web, so you’re definitely on to something. Maybe you could film a couple of recreated flashback scenes like Robert Rodriquez did for the El Mariachi flashback scenes in Desperado. But I digress, MAKE THIS MOVIE!

  • Jared

    Spoony! MAKE THIS MOVIE! Fanfilm budget or not it will automatically be on par with or exceed the original simply because it will presumably not need the audio dubbed in after principal shooting, AND you won’t forget the opening credits. The film you’re describing sounds like it has real potential to become a hit, if not an underground cult classic of Evil Dead caliber. You’d have to write it in such a way though that you didn’t necessarily need to see the original Manos, as most people I know are aware of the movie, and even its basic plot, but that knowledge only comes from having read reviews online. Of course, Torgo has a cult following in his own right on the web, so you’re definitely on to something. Maybe you could film a couple of recreated flashback scenes like Robert Rodriquez did for the El Mariachi flashback scenes in Desperado. But I digress, MAKE THIS MOVIE!

  • Jared

    Edit: To replace his missing hand, maybe have him use the one off the end of his cane? Great murder weapon if he sharpens it up!

  • Jared

    Edit: To replace his missing hand, maybe have him use the one off the end of his cane? Great murder weapon if he sharpens it up!

  • Jared

    Master: ::soaked in gasoline:: “W-what do you want, Torgo?!! You’ve taken everything from me!!! My wives! My power! My god! What more could you possibly want?!!”

    Torgo: ::slowly lighting up a cigarette:: “…I want my HAND BACK MOTHERFUCKER!”

    ::FWOOSH::

  • Jared

    Master: ::soaked in gasoline:: “W-what do you want, Torgo?!! You’ve taken everything from me!!! My wives! My power! My god! What more could you possibly want?!!”

    Torgo: ::slowly lighting up a cigarette:: “…I want my HAND BACK MOTHERFUCKER!”

    ::FWOOSH::

  • Amayirot Akago

    Keep this stuff coming, Spoony. I freaking love it.

  • Amayirot Akago

    Keep this stuff coming, Spoony. I freaking love it.

  • Anonymous

    Sounds like a great idea for a sequel. You should, by all means, do this movie. Would love to see it on silverscreen or tv-screen for that matter.

  • Cthulhu07

    Sounds like a great idea for a sequel. You should, by all means, do this movie. Would love to see it on silverscreen or tv-screen for that matter.

  • chunichi11

    “Uhh…that’s…not how you wear your Depends, Torgo.”
    “Been hitting the Thighmaster, Torgo?”

    The Master should say those lines as homage to the show that made the movie infamous in the first place. Without MST3K (of which you’re a fan of, Spoony), Manos would’ve just been another shitty movie left to the annals (or maybe, the anus?) of time.

  • chunichi11

    “Uhh…that’s…not how you wear your Depends, Torgo.”
    “Been hitting the Thighmaster, Torgo?”

    The Master should say those lines as homage to the show that made the movie infamous in the first place. Without MST3K (of which you’re a fan of, Spoony), Manos would’ve just been another shitty movie left to the annals (or maybe, the anus?) of time.

  • Rage

    Jesus fucking christ. If this is the kind of movie you’d make, I’m beyond glad that you’re not in Hollywood. We sure as shit don’t need more mysogynistic bullshit there.

    “He’s going to start with the Master’s wives, those snickering bitches… He’s gonna fuck ‘em, and he’s gonna kill ‘em. At this point, he doesn’t even care if it’s in that order.”

    Really? Are you fucking serious? Your movie would be about a guy raping and killing women as part of his revenge? That is disgusting, and morally fucking reprehensible. I can’t even say anything more here, this makes me sick.

    Fuck you.

    • http://www.facebook.com/ronny.abraham.31 Ronny Abraham

      I hope he makes this movie, and does it in 3D, then we will strap you into a chair and force you to watch it repeatedly until you go totally and completely mad!

  • Rage

    Jesus fucking christ. If this is the kind of movie you’d make, I’m beyond glad that you’re not in Hollywood. We sure as shit don’t need more mysogynistic bullshit there.

    “He’s going to start with the Master’s wives, those snickering bitches… He’s gonna fuck ‘em, and he’s gonna kill ‘em. At this point, he doesn’t even care if it’s in that order.”

    Really? Are you fucking serious? Your movie would be about a guy raping and killing women as part of his revenge? That is disgusting, and morally fucking reprehensible. I can’t even say anything more here, this makes me sick.

    Fuck you.

  • http://www.spoonyexperiment.com/ Spoony

    Welcome to exploitation cinema, ya giant pussy.

    I never said Torgo was a nice guy. This is a sick, depraved movie about horrible people doing horrible things to one another. It’s supposed to be morally reprehensible. I’d have failed if it wasn’t.

  • http://www.spoonyexperiment.com Spoony

    Welcome to exploitation cinema, ya giant pussy.

    I never said Torgo was a nice guy. This is a sick, depraved movie about horrible people doing horrible things to one another. It’s supposed to be morally reprehensible. I’d have failed if it wasn’t.

  • nameoil

    What about a tagline like “Torgo’s back, and someone’s gotta pay!” ? lol

  • nameoil

    What about a tagline like “Torgo’s back, and someone’s gotta pay!” ? lol

  • J-Man

    This is good stuff, man. I would totally go see this movie.

  • J-Man

    This is good stuff, man. I would totally go see this movie.

  • Chris Arnold

    This would be an epic idea, as Christopher Walken would say, it would be Un-Fucking-Believable

  • Chris Arnold

    This would be an epic idea, as Christopher Walken would say, it would be Un-Fucking-Believable

  • whiteandornerdy

    Good idea, but when I was thinking about a sequel, I had something different in mind:

    I was always ticked off with the fact that Debbie the girl became a wife of the Master. That always led to a bunch of pedaphilia jokes that most people would accept, but just doesn’t work with me. In mine, on her 16th birthday, Debbie is about to “become an official wife” (if you know what I mean), but, because of latent memories in Maggie’s (the mother) brain, she helps her escape before getting offed by the Master. She escapes to the town where she meets Torgo, now a recluse living in a shack similar (but in no way) the Master’s, and he tells her how to stop the Master. Together, along with the only competent policeman in town (who turns out to be Make-Out Guy from the first one), they do battle with the most evil thing on the planet.

    I know its not really “exploitive” and more like “Kill Bill”, but it’s just my idea.

  • whiteandornerdy

    Good idea, but when I was thinking about a sequel, I had something different in mind:

    I was always ticked off with the fact that Debbie the girl became a wife of the Master. That always led to a bunch of pedaphilia jokes that most people would accept, but just doesn’t work with me. In mine, on her 16th birthday, Debbie is about to “become an official wife” (if you know what I mean), but, because of latent memories in Maggie’s (the mother) brain, she helps her escape before getting offed by the Master. She escapes to the town where she meets Torgo, now a recluse living in a shack similar (but in no way) the Master’s, and he tells her how to stop the Master. Together, along with the only competent policeman in town (who turns out to be Make-Out Guy from the first one), they do battle with the most evil thing on the planet.

    I know its not really “exploitive” and more like “Kill Bill”, but it’s just my idea.

  • thatguywithtoomuchtime

    I’ve thought about it for a few weeks now and I would do it in three parts, remake, prequel and sequel, in that order. First mock the movie for all of its faults while taking it in a direction so dark it makes all the movies before it look like Dora the explorer. Pedophilia, bestiality, shit that is so fucked up that no amount brain bleach can make you unthink it. While keeping true with most of the source material. But at the end have Torgo swear vengeance upon the master.

    Have the prequel make Torgo out to be a conquered antihero. The master to be revealed as an ancient druid who rebirths him self though is eldest offspring and has left his/her finger prints all over history from the Roman empire and so forth. Before Torgo became the masters bitch boy he was a detective Torgo has a bone to pick with this new charismatic figure in town who off screen takes over the town ,I don’t want to insult the audience’s intellect. Meanwhile Torgo becomes obsessive over the whole ordeal, it is the revealed that Torgo is one sick mofo how ever messed up the first movie is Torgo loosing his mind alone tops it. The towns folk are reduced to cannibalistic ghouls who cut the population from a modest 300 in half Torgo kills at least 50 via bombs shotguns and with his bare hands the rest are burned alive in a fire that consumes the town the building in the master is in was protected by his magic Torgo was saved thanks to the master’s magic but its not such a nice ending for our kinda sorta hero. During Torgo’s genocidal rampage he takes some nasty damage but goes on and on to the point he is a bloodied torso it would make the Terminator look like a quitter.

    The last one would just try to top the other two in all ways just more gore and disgusting stuff sick stuff Torgo is heavily brain damaged but he is not a brain dead vegetable he picked up a few incantations here and there he can undo all the masters work by corrupting the wives like Spoony’s idea the new guests are unfortunately over cooked the traffic police show up and see the mess and Torgo the little kid and wife are left standing the husband sacrificed him self to stop Manos from entering this world. The police pick them up and the credits roll.

    • Ryan Gilmartin

      naw, i’d make prequel torgo a young, handsome man with a girl he loves and intends to marry. Then, one night as he goes to pick up the ring on layaway….

  • thatguywithtoomuchtime

    I’ve thought about it for a few weeks now and I would do it in three parts, remake, prequel and sequel, in that order. First mock the movie for all of its faults while taking it in a direction so dark it makes all the movies before it look like Dora the explorer. Pedophilia, bestiality, shit that is so fucked up that no amount brain bleach can make you unthink it. While keeping true with most of the source material. But at the end have Torgo swear vengeance upon the master.

    Have the prequel make Torgo out to be a conquered antihero. The master to be revealed as an ancient druid who rebirths him self though is eldest offspring and has left his/her finger prints all over history from the Roman empire and so forth. Before Torgo became the masters bitch boy he was a detective Torgo has a bone to pick with this new charismatic figure in town who off screen takes over the town ,I don’t want to insult the audience’s intellect. Meanwhile Torgo becomes obsessive over the whole ordeal, it is the revealed that Torgo is one sick mofo how ever messed up the first movie is Torgo loosing his mind alone tops it. The towns folk are reduced to cannibalistic ghouls who cut the population from a modest 300 in half Torgo kills at least 50 via bombs shotguns and with his bare hands the rest are burned alive in a fire that consumes the town the building in the master is in was protected by his magic Torgo was saved thanks to the master’s magic but its not such a nice ending for our kinda sorta hero. During Torgo’s genocidal rampage he takes some nasty damage but goes on and on to the point he is a bloodied torso it would make the Terminator look like a quitter.

    The last one would just try to top the other two in all ways just more gore and disgusting stuff sick stuff Torgo is heavily brain damaged but he is not a brain dead vegetable he picked up a few incantations here and there he can undo all the masters work by corrupting the wives like Spoony’s idea the new guests are unfortunately over cooked the traffic police show up and see the mess and Torgo the little kid and wife are left standing the husband sacrificed him self to stop Manos from entering this world. The police pick them up and the credits roll.

  • Anonymous

    This is how Rob Zombie would write a remake of Manos.

  • http://www.facebook.com/ronny.abraham.31 Ronny Abraham

    Oh man, why don’t you make something lite this? This is awesome!

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