Mr. Mulder, “they” have been here for a long, long time.

The Spoony One | May 16 2009 | more notation(s) | 

The X-Files

Normally I hate series reboots. You only have to look as far as the Knight Rider revamp before you seriously consider turning the television off and finding something to read. Something very, very long to read. I even hated the Battlestar Galactica reboot, and that’s considered to be one of the most successful reimaginings of a shitty sci-fi franchise ever. Star Trek was pretty good, but was there really enough wrong with the original series to warrant its complete invalidation with some “red matter singularity time travel” hand-waving?

Then again, rebooting is just about the only thing that keeps the comics industry (barely) rolling. When a series get too convoluted, dark, confusing, hard to follow, or just too damn embarrassing, they set the existing franchise on fire and rebuild it from Issue #1. Hey, it works, and it’s actually pretty exciting to discover a series and its characters all over again, and most readers appreciate when writers are willing to take a crappy storyline behind the wood shed and beat it to death with a shovel. You just have to hope that once the reboot is done, they don’t fuck it up worse than before (like they did with the Ultimates).

That’s why the X-Files is perfect for a reboot. I don’t think anyone was entirely happy with the way the series conspiracy unfolded. It was entirely too convoluted and yet completely predictable. It took too long to develop and was ineptly executed, and in the end, none of it made much sense, and one wonders why the aliens bothered collaborating with these shady, cigarette-smoking goons when they could have just kill-o-zapped the nation Independence Day-style.

I think my main problem with it was that the conspiracy was exactly what everyone predicted it would be: saucer men from Mars plotting a major invasion of the planet, with a shady cabal of shadow cabinets collaborating to conceal the truth from the public and position themselves so that they’re spared from the wrath of their new alien overlords. Yeah, there was a little more too it than that– something to do with a deadly virus, a sentient oil, and Big Brother secretly working against the aliens– but still, to me, it was paint-by-numbers. There weren’t any surprises. If you thought it was aliens in flying saucers and evil Men in Black suppressing the truth, you pretty much had it pegged from episode #1.

I’ve always believed that the true secrets behind the X-Files should be far more terrifying than some naked gray bug-eyed bastards who want to abduct cattle and implant shit in the nasal cavities of deranged morons nobody would ever believe. Any kind of alien life that’s been able to make the concept of interstellar space travel a routine, trivial thing has concerns far beyond anything a planet full of spastic monkeys might offer. They would no more negotiate with us than you would negotiate with an anthill in your driveway. They could wipe us out without even noticing they’d done it. If they noticed humanity at all, it would be only as irritants or playthings, and if they did decide to exterminate us, there would be no hope of some Macintosh-borne computer virus or sass-talking Fresh Princes saving us, no deadly allergy to water or susceptibility to the common cold. Aliens like that squeeze more interesting things into the bathroom mirror than humanity.

“Here we go,” you say, “you’re just going Lovecraftian on us, like that’s not predictable.” Well, maybe, but you say that like it’s a bad thing, when really, the concept of the X-Files is just about perfect for a modern-day Mythos investigation show. And in many ways, the central concepts of the Cthulhu Mythos do wonders for expanding the possibilities of the show’s breadth and depth. All of a sudden, you have an alien conspiracy stretching back beyond the dawn of man, with ancient civilizations who worshipped these entities as gods, wretched and glorious hallucinatory dreamscapes, lost continents, and tons of mad cultists and Illuminati, each with agendas eons in the making.

I’m not saying it’s Cthulhu, and I’m not asking to see Mulder and Scully in a running gunfight on the streets of Innsmouth with a pack of shoggoths hot on their heels.

Actually, that sounds pretty cool.

But anyway, I’m just suggesting a fundamental change in tone. Here’s the setup: Fox Mulder witnessed what he believed to be the alien abduction of his sister, and that trauma has put him on a crusade to uncover the truth that he believes is being concealed by the government. But that’s not what he saw. It’s what he wants to believe.

What he doesn’t know is that his parents are fanatical high sorcerers of a cult of some alien god (like Azathoth) who would routinely offer animal sacrifices and hold orgies and festivals of body mutilation in His honor. Both Fox and Samantha were brainwashed at a very young age to be blindly faithful worshipers and participants in these sick, depraved rites. On one night of special celestial significance, the parents chose Samantha as a virgin offering to be the unholy receptacle of one of their god’s insane, protean gibbering spawn.

None had actually seen an aspect of their god before that night, and they were not prepared for what they saw. The ultradimensional, tentacled horror that emerged from the summoning portal ravaged and devoured Samantha and half the cult in its slathering hunger before Fox’s parents broke the circle and expelled the thing, leaving them naked and terrified in a smoking charnel, ankle-deep in steaming blood and bones. Fox’s brain, unable to process the sickness he’d just witnessed, simply shut down and repressed the horrific events, rationalizing it into the most logical thing he could: a standard alien abduction scenario like you see all the time on TV. All he remembers is a shrieking, piercing nose (and yet, almost like music), his sister screaming, and a bright light. It’s left a hole in his memory that he’s trying desperately to fill, but doing so might very well either drive him to insanity, or worse, unearth the brainwashed fanatic that he used to be, the deranged personality that madness had shocked beneath the surface.

Mulder joined the FBI to investigate the paranormal, unaware of what his parents have been hiding from him. He thinks that the government is suppressing the truth to conceal some kind of hidden agenda, or some kind of shadow government working to achieve secret global domination. But really, the government is trying to maintain the status quo. They know the truth. They know that the Old Ones (or whatever they are) are here, are sleeping, and when they awaken, everything humanity knows will end. The date is preordained, and their fate is inevitable. The government is hiding the truth because knowing the truth would drive the world to anarchy and millennial madness. Society, knowing its days were truly numbered, would tear itself apart.

Mulder and Scully are doing a lot of good in the world, stopping cults and their summonings, rooting out supernatural horrors lurking in the shadows and gutters, but they’re just rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic. People like Mulder and the Lone Gunmen have spent their whole lives hounding the government, blaming some elaborate conspiracy for hiding alien and occult influence in everything from the design of the great pyramids in Giza, to El Chupacabra, to MK-ULTRA, to the assassination of JFK. Hell, the government encourages that kind of fanaticism. A mundane, human conspiracy is something people can understand, something people can universally hate or dismiss as paranoia. Better to believe in that than to know the actual truth.

So, yes, the government is lying, creating a fantasy and killing to protect it. But it’s the kind of fantasy the world needs. When Mulder finally realizes what’s going on, that he’s been chasing red herrings, is he really going to feel any better? If by some miracle his sister is still alive, once he gets the faintest clue as to what’s taken her, will he really want to find her? Will the truth really set him free? I doubt it. There’s a wing in Arkham full of people who eventually all reach the same point that Mulder will.

  • Hossrex

    AWESOME!

  • Hossrex

    AWESOME!

  • Namewithheld

    That…that…that…that…

    That…would have actually kept me watching the X-files, GOD damn it!

  • Namewithheld

    That…that…that…that…

    That…would have actually kept me watching the X-files, GOD damn it!

  • DeathsHead419

    Oh please let some hollywood producer or something be trolling the internet and happen upon this. The awsomeness that is the Spoonone could inject some life and intrest back into the baren Television landscape. Let us hope.

  • DeathsHead419

    Oh please let some hollywood producer or something be trolling the internet and happen upon this. The awsomeness that is the Spoonone could inject some life and intrest back into the baren Television landscape. Let us hope.

  • Eldritch

    Well written as usual. The cult stuff amused me Just the absurdity of the proposed changes gave me a laugh. Good vocab there, too. I learned a new word from reading this (Protean).

  • Eldritch

    Well written as usual. The cult stuff amused me Just the absurdity of the proposed changes gave me a laugh. Good vocab there, too. I learned a new word from reading this (Protean).

  • MoRtiZ

    I’ve got to say; a TV show based around Cthulhu Mythos would be badass. They don’t need to reboot the X-Files, just start one fresh with a couple of new detectives. David Duchovny annoys me anyway.

  • MoRtiZ

    I’ve got to say; a TV show based around Cthulhu Mythos would be badass. They don’t need to reboot the X-Files, just start one fresh with a couple of new detectives. David Duchovny annoys me anyway.

  • Joseph

    Noah, the funny thing about these “Why I shouldn’t …” posts is that you actually have some really great ideas. The problem is that you are confining yourself to things other people have already created. Limiting yourself to pre-existing characters and franchises. Why does this have to have anything to do with the X-Files, or Sliders or whatever else?

    You ought to take stock of the ideas you’ve come up with over the years and try to form something brand new that is your own. *Your* story as it were. It could turn out better than you might think.

  • Joseph

    Noah, the funny thing about these “Why I shouldn’t …” posts is that you actually have some really great ideas. The problem is that you are confining yourself to things other people have already created. Limiting yourself to pre-existing characters and franchises. Why does this have to have anything to do with the X-Files, or Sliders or whatever else?

    You ought to take stock of the ideas you’ve come up with over the years and try to form something brand new that is your own. *Your* story as it were. It could turn out better than you might think.

  • Honost Abe

    Dear Spoony,

    People visit this site becuase they like your videos, not read novels. You have a certain chemistry and charm when you talk about things with video. It doesnt carry over when you write. While its well written, it usually bores me and I find it hard to finish it. Just do everything that you can on video format!

  • Honost Abe

    Dear Spoony,

    People visit this site becuase they like your videos, not read novels. You have a certain chemistry and charm when you talk about things with video. It doesnt carry over when you write. While its well written, it usually bores me and I find it hard to finish it. Just do everything that you can on video format!

  • Qubeley

    That was actually a pretty cool read. I’d watch it. Also, don’t listen to the whiners and just do your own thing, as you’ve pretty much always have been doing.

    “Kill-o-zapped” though. No, really? “Kill-o-zapped”? Haha.

  • Qubeley

    That was actually a pretty cool read. I’d watch it. Also, don’t listen to the whiners and just do your own thing, as you’ve pretty much always have been doing.

    “Kill-o-zapped” though. No, really? “Kill-o-zapped”? Haha.

  • DanManX

    @Honost Abe:
    Your disdain for reading/writing becomes clear when you misspell Honest in your name. However, go back through the comments on some of his recent videos. People actually ask for more text updates. So your presumption that everyone shares your tastes is empirically wrong–there’s evidence of it all over. Please don’t speak for the rest of us. Also, when you say “it usually bores me and I find it hard to finish it,” I have to wonder why you bother? Couldn’t you just, you know, not read these things that don’t interest you? You seem to imply he’s wasting your time when he does anything but post a video. Couldn’t you, you know, just NOT waste your time on it? What magic (or SCIENCE!) does Spoony use to compel you to read things you don’t like? Am I just being too logical? I don’t know…

    @Spoony: Dude. This:

    “All of a sudden, you have an alien conspiracy stretching back beyond the dawn of man, with ancient civilizations who worshipped these entities as gods, wretched and glorious hallucinatory dreamscapes, lost continents, and tons of mad cultists and Illuminati, each with agendas eons in the making.”

    You remember writing that? Read through it again. That’s Stargate SG-1 and Atlantis, dude. :P
    Otherwise, I have to agree that your ideas are good ones. Would they work on TV? Who knows. Could they even BE televised in a serial manner, with the limited budget that that entails? I couldn’t say. But the concept is sound.

  • DanManX

    @Honost Abe:
    Your disdain for reading/writing becomes clear when you misspell Honest in your name. However, go back through the comments on some of his recent videos. People actually ask for more text updates. So your presumption that everyone shares your tastes is empirically wrong–there’s evidence of it all over. Please don’t speak for the rest of us. Also, when you say “it usually bores me and I find it hard to finish it,” I have to wonder why you bother? Couldn’t you just, you know, not read these things that don’t interest you? You seem to imply he’s wasting your time when he does anything but post a video. Couldn’t you, you know, just NOT waste your time on it? What magic (or SCIENCE!) does Spoony use to compel you to read things you don’t like? Am I just being too logical? I don’t know…

    @Spoony: Dude. This:

    “All of a sudden, you have an alien conspiracy stretching back beyond the dawn of man, with ancient civilizations who worshipped these entities as gods, wretched and glorious hallucinatory dreamscapes, lost continents, and tons of mad cultists and Illuminati, each with agendas eons in the making.”

    You remember writing that? Read through it again. That’s Stargate SG-1 and Atlantis, dude. :P
    Otherwise, I have to agree that your ideas are good ones. Would they work on TV? Who knows. Could they even BE televised in a serial manner, with the limited budget that that entails? I couldn’t say. But the concept is sound.

  • Arcadion

    Simple, yet brilliant. Stuff like this is why I visit your site once a day to check for updates =).

  • Arcadion

    Simple, yet brilliant. Stuff like this is why I visit your site once a day to check for updates =).

  • Lotus Prince

    Turns out Mulder is a vessel for the Ancient Ones. On Doomsday, the Ancient One hatches in Mulder’s body, and the planet descends to hell.

  • Lotus Prince

    Turns out Mulder is a vessel for the Ancient Ones. On Doomsday, the Ancient One hatches in Mulder’s body, and the planet descends to hell.

  • broken_chaos

    Watched Supernatural ever? While what you’re describing sounds rather different in plot and overall concept, the tone and ‘feel’ of this seem similar to Supernatural – particularly where it seems like the lead(s) has/have a rather torturous emotional time (Supernatural has basically ‘perfected’ the art of throwing crushing emotional and physical blows at it’s characters), and that there’s something ‘more’ going on behind the scenes (though in your X-Files Reboot case, it’s humans hiding it, rather than a demonic master plan). Sounds like, while a rather heavy and dark show at times, it would focus a bit more on light-hearted material than Supernatural tends to – except for when it (yours) delved into heavy background plot.

    Interesting concept overall, though I have to admit I’ve never seen much of the X-Files – so I can’t compare it to the original. I was a bit too young for it most of the first time around, and I almost never see it in syndication – at least not with any consistency.

  • broken_chaos

    Watched Supernatural ever? While what you’re describing sounds rather different in plot and overall concept, the tone and ‘feel’ of this seem similar to Supernatural – particularly where it seems like the lead(s) has/have a rather torturous emotional time (Supernatural has basically ‘perfected’ the art of throwing crushing emotional and physical blows at it’s characters), and that there’s something ‘more’ going on behind the scenes (though in your X-Files Reboot case, it’s humans hiding it, rather than a demonic master plan). Sounds like, while a rather heavy and dark show at times, it would focus a bit more on light-hearted material than Supernatural tends to – except for when it (yours) delved into heavy background plot.

    Interesting concept overall, though I have to admit I’ve never seen much of the X-Files – so I can’t compare it to the original. I was a bit too young for it most of the first time around, and I almost never see it in syndication – at least not with any consistency.

  • Zach

    Meh, I dunno man. It sounds a hell of alot like A Shadow Over Innsmouth to me, especially the bit about Mulder’s sister, it sounds very much like the twist ending to Innsmouth.. I think that the X-Files could have benefited from a Cthulian touch (indescribable aliens, madness, weird frog things that like to mate with people, etc), and the idea of the aliens having been here for eons already and they’re just waiting for the stars to align just right to take back the Earth is quit good. What I don’t like is the idea of the Mulder’s being cultists, it just seems…I dunno, kind of too weird even for the X-Files. I think that the show would be great is it was influenced by Lovecraft’s work but still unique. I wouldn’t want to lose the conspiracy, no matter how stupid or convoluted or predictable it got it’s what the show was all about. It came around at the perfect time, when trust in the government was at an all time low because of things like Iran-Contra and other shady under hand dealings of the CIA, coupled with the rise of “New Age” and the surge in bullshit UFO sightings a show all about shadow governments of shadow governments, aliens and a government conspiracy was inevitable. The show is distinctly 90’s. To just ditch the idea that the government is dealing with the aliens in order to survive the coming invasion (which the show itself essentially did eventually) and replace it with a new conspiracy that the government is covering up the facts for our own good, it just doesn’t seem to fit, it’s just not quite cynical enough for me. But like I said, a Cthulian style would have done X-Files some good.

  • Zach

    Meh, I dunno man. It sounds a hell of alot like A Shadow Over Innsmouth to me, especially the bit about Mulder’s sister, it sounds very much like the twist ending to Innsmouth.. I think that the X-Files could have benefited from a Cthulian touch (indescribable aliens, madness, weird frog things that like to mate with people, etc), and the idea of the aliens having been here for eons already and they’re just waiting for the stars to align just right to take back the Earth is quit good. What I don’t like is the idea of the Mulder’s being cultists, it just seems…I dunno, kind of too weird even for the X-Files. I think that the show would be great is it was influenced by Lovecraft’s work but still unique. I wouldn’t want to lose the conspiracy, no matter how stupid or convoluted or predictable it got it’s what the show was all about. It came around at the perfect time, when trust in the government was at an all time low because of things like Iran-Contra and other shady under hand dealings of the CIA, coupled with the rise of “New Age” and the surge in bullshit UFO sightings a show all about shadow governments of shadow governments, aliens and a government conspiracy was inevitable. The show is distinctly 90’s. To just ditch the idea that the government is dealing with the aliens in order to survive the coming invasion (which the show itself essentially did eventually) and replace it with a new conspiracy that the government is covering up the facts for our own good, it just doesn’t seem to fit, it’s just not quite cynical enough for me. But like I said, a Cthulian style would have done X-Files some good.

  • Kathryn

    well, it sounds like a pretty nice idea, but please not for X-files, k? ^^
    I mean, yes, it really IS a good idea and I would watch a show like this anytime, but why X-files? Okay, yes, I grew up with this show and used to record it secretly, to watch it, when my parents weren’t around (back then I was about 10 and my parents would have never allowed me to watch X-files XD ) so I kinda grew into the whole thing and just can’t imagine Mulder and Scully fighting ancient gods.
    Aliens you can trie to shoot, but ancient god-like-beeings? I’m afraid that’s were Mulder and Scully would have to face a problem ^^”

    So, let X-files rest in peace and make a own show out of it, I’m sure people would love it! (and compared to some other shows it would have at least some potencial… damn, the main character could even refer to X-files and Mulders theories! That would be really awsome! )

    (P.S.: sorry for my poor English, I really tried hard, I hope you can understand what I’m trying to say ^^ )

  • Kathryn

    well, it sounds like a pretty nice idea, but please not for X-files, k? ^^
    I mean, yes, it really IS a good idea and I would watch a show like this anytime, but why X-files? Okay, yes, I grew up with this show and used to record it secretly, to watch it, when my parents weren’t around (back then I was about 10 and my parents would have never allowed me to watch X-files XD ) so I kinda grew into the whole thing and just can’t imagine Mulder and Scully fighting ancient gods.
    Aliens you can trie to shoot, but ancient god-like-beeings? I’m afraid that’s were Mulder and Scully would have to face a problem ^^”

    So, let X-files rest in peace and make a own show out of it, I’m sure people would love it! (and compared to some other shows it would have at least some potencial… damn, the main character could even refer to X-files and Mulders theories! That would be really awsome! )

    (P.S.: sorry for my poor English, I really tried hard, I hope you can understand what I’m trying to say ^^ )

  • http://smellslikegeekstink.blogspot.com/ Jenny

    “Any kind of alien life that’s been able to make the concept of interstellar space travel a routine, trivial thing has concerns far beyond anything a planet full of spastic monkeys might offer.”

    It’s coz the humans are writing the stories and we’re arrogant enough to believe there’s something special about us. You see it in science fiction all the time, ‘he’s learned the lessons of humanity well,’ and all that feel-good crap.

    As for the X-Files, I pretty much tuned out of it once it got to heavy on the government conspiracy bullshit. It was awesome back in the beginning when they were investigating the weird shit that goes on and just teasing you that something bugger was out there, but when it got more and more into it I got bored. I read somewhere recently where someone said about the X-Files: “Monster show? Cool! Government conspiracy? Change the channel.” It was so true.

  • http://smellslikegeekstink.blogspot.com Jenny

    “Any kind of alien life that’s been able to make the concept of interstellar space travel a routine, trivial thing has concerns far beyond anything a planet full of spastic monkeys might offer.”

    It’s coz the humans are writing the stories and we’re arrogant enough to believe there’s something special about us. You see it in science fiction all the time, ‘he’s learned the lessons of humanity well,’ and all that feel-good crap.

    As for the X-Files, I pretty much tuned out of it once it got to heavy on the government conspiracy bullshit. It was awesome back in the beginning when they were investigating the weird shit that goes on and just teasing you that something bugger was out there, but when it got more and more into it I got bored. I read somewhere recently where someone said about the X-Files: “Monster show? Cool! Government conspiracy? Change the channel.” It was so true.

  • http://www.youtube.com/user/JLovrak JLovrak

    Sounds a little too deep and depressing for an X Files episode. Very deep and intriguing, but something so dark, futile, and fatalistic, and rife with religious undertones, is better suited to an episode of Millenium. Ooo! Crossover, maybe? It worked once; why couldn’t it work again?

  • http://www.youtube.com/user/JLovrak JLovrak

    Sounds a little too deep and depressing for an X Files episode. Very deep and intriguing, but something so dark, futile, and fatalistic, and rife with religious undertones, is better suited to an episode of Millenium. Ooo! Crossover, maybe? It worked once; why couldn’t it work again?

  • James Corck

    I had the feeling, in the first episodes of The X Files, that the series was going towards the Lovecraft stories. I started to think that after the fourth or fifth episode not related to green little men from Mars. What I think happened was that FOX stuck their dicks into the franchise (like what they have done with everyfuckingthing since, well, ever) and screwed it by dumbing it up. I guess they thought people is too stupid to understand a more tangled plot.

  • James Corck

    I had the feeling, in the first episodes of The X Files, that the series was going towards the Lovecraft stories. I started to think that after the fourth or fifth episode not related to green little men from Mars. What I think happened was that FOX stuck their dicks into the franchise (like what they have done with everyfuckingthing since, well, ever) and screwed it by dumbing it up. I guess they thought people is too stupid to understand a more tangled plot.

  • Gooseman

    LOVE IT! Every bit of it!

    You know, back in the day we did just that in roleplaying. What I was gamemastering was esentially a crossover of Call of Cthulhu and X-Files (which was what I had in mind anyway, since X-Files was so popular back then). The group consisted of:
    – Two FBI special agents dedicated to the paranormal
    – The “Professor” who was a scholar in the paranormal
    – The Ex-Soldier who just had an encounter with the paranormal

    The Ex-Soldier also was the central character of the first adventure. The special agents had to visit him and investigate, but after not making any progress had to contact the Professor to help them out in discovering the ravaging truth.

    Unfortunately, the whole idea died in less than a year. This was due to two main reasons:
    1. The group was used to being nearly omni-potent. This attitude came from the even more conventional type of fantasy roleplaying we did before for several years. After a while, the group’s characters became so mighty, they now just could’nt accept nearly being wiped from the face of the earth by the first boss (in case of the first X-Files/Cthulhu adventure a Servitor of the Outer Gods).
    2. The pace was slower and much less action-oriented than in fantasy roleplaying.

    Which brings me to the question if this is “The Age of Ass-Kicking”?
    The whole idea of lovecraftian horror evolves around the impotence of humankind to deal with those more serious mythos threats. Sure you could have the protagonist kick some Deep One’s ass, but make it one-to-one and they had to run. Bringing up something even more serious like a Shoggoth, there could only be running and maybe killing off three quarters of the protagonists to keep up the seriousness of such a threat.
    Now, if you come up whith the mythos expansion introduced by August Derleth, there would be a chance, because there are still the forces of good, that might take on mythos monsters if worshipped properly.
    But even then, would this be what adiences like to see? If this is “The Age of Ass-Kicking” as mentioned before, I really don’t think so. Audiences are used to things like Stargate SG-1, where a group of already high leveled characters face some demi-gods, level up even more, gear up to insanity and finally beat the crap out of these things. OK, there are those Asgard guys whou could be considered the forces of good, but it’s more like they were lucky to find the SG-1 team who could use their advanced technology in a proper way. To what it all sums up is that SG-1 kicks ass. I like that and audiences like that.

    You know, in this time and age, drama is OK, but most audiences still favor some “good” ending CAUSED BY THE PROTAGONISTS (or at least you might think so).

    In conclusion, I fear that idea of X-Files/Mythos crossover sounds nice, but does’nt fit this age. See, in your well-hated Battlestar Galactica remake, the ending left many people unsatisfied, because they just could’nt accept the whole “God’s plan” thing. Now, if you brought up your idea in the early 1990’s, there would have been a chance, because this was in fact “The Age of Darkness” (you know this when you’ve lived back then). What it all comes down to:
    If people feel good, they like to watch dark stuff. If not, they like to watch superheroes. And who feels good today, with this whole commercial crisis going on?

    But… I’d still LOVE to watch the X-Files/Mythos Crossover reboot! So let’s start producing!

  • Gooseman

    LOVE IT! Every bit of it!

    You know, back in the day we did just that in roleplaying. What I was gamemastering was esentially a crossover of Call of Cthulhu and X-Files (which was what I had in mind anyway, since X-Files was so popular back then). The group consisted of:
    – Two FBI special agents dedicated to the paranormal
    – The “Professor” who was a scholar in the paranormal
    – The Ex-Soldier who just had an encounter with the paranormal

    The Ex-Soldier also was the central character of the first adventure. The special agents had to visit him and investigate, but after not making any progress had to contact the Professor to help them out in discovering the ravaging truth.

    Unfortunately, the whole idea died in less than a year. This was due to two main reasons:
    1. The group was used to being nearly omni-potent. This attitude came from the even more conventional type of fantasy roleplaying we did before for several years. After a while, the group’s characters became so mighty, they now just could’nt accept nearly being wiped from the face of the earth by the first boss (in case of the first X-Files/Cthulhu adventure a Servitor of the Outer Gods).
    2. The pace was slower and much less action-oriented than in fantasy roleplaying.

    Which brings me to the question if this is “The Age of Ass-Kicking”?
    The whole idea of lovecraftian horror evolves around the impotence of humankind to deal with those more serious mythos threats. Sure you could have the protagonist kick some Deep One’s ass, but make it one-to-one and they had to run. Bringing up something even more serious like a Shoggoth, there could only be running and maybe killing off three quarters of the protagonists to keep up the seriousness of such a threat.
    Now, if you come up whith the mythos expansion introduced by August Derleth, there would be a chance, because there are still the forces of good, that might take on mythos monsters if worshipped properly.
    But even then, would this be what adiences like to see? If this is “The Age of Ass-Kicking” as mentioned before, I really don’t think so. Audiences are used to things like Stargate SG-1, where a group of already high leveled characters face some demi-gods, level up even more, gear up to insanity and finally beat the crap out of these things. OK, there are those Asgard guys whou could be considered the forces of good, but it’s more like they were lucky to find the SG-1 team who could use their advanced technology in a proper way. To what it all sums up is that SG-1 kicks ass. I like that and audiences like that.

    You know, in this time and age, drama is OK, but most audiences still favor some “good” ending CAUSED BY THE PROTAGONISTS (or at least you might think so).

    In conclusion, I fear that idea of X-Files/Mythos crossover sounds nice, but does’nt fit this age. See, in your well-hated Battlestar Galactica remake, the ending left many people unsatisfied, because they just could’nt accept the whole “God’s plan” thing. Now, if you brought up your idea in the early 1990’s, there would have been a chance, because this was in fact “The Age of Darkness” (you know this when you’ve lived back then). What it all comes down to:
    If people feel good, they like to watch dark stuff. If not, they like to watch superheroes. And who feels good today, with this whole commercial crisis going on?

    But… I’d still LOVE to watch the X-Files/Mythos Crossover reboot! So let’s start producing!

  • Anonymous

    You’ve got some interesting ideas there, and it would be great to see tales of Lovecraftian mythos done right on tv/in the movies for a change. However, if I was to do show with Mythos elements in it, I would base it more on The Call of Cthulhu RPG. Set it in 1920′ s of -30’s, with group of investigators solving the cases very much like the do in the game. All this would be done in the vein of Film Noir of course. You know, lots of dark shadows, smokey alleys and creepy sound effects. As for the monsters, the best way to go would be not to show too much. Let the audience know these things are out there, but never reveal them in their full glory. Very much like in the original Lovecraft stories. Nobody would probably watch it, but this would be my take on it, If I was to do such a show….

  • Cthulhu07

    You’ve got some interesting ideas there, and it would be great to see tales of Lovecraftian mythos done right on tv/in the movies for a change. However, if I was to do show with Mythos elements in it, I would base it more on The Call of Cthulhu RPG. Set it in 1920′ s of -30’s, with group of investigators solving the cases very much like the do in the game. All this would be done in the vein of Film Noir of course. You know, lots of dark shadows, smokey alleys and creepy sound effects. As for the monsters, the best way to go would be not to show too much. Let the audience know these things are out there, but never reveal them in their full glory. Very much like in the original Lovecraft stories. Nobody would probably watch it, but this would be my take on it, If I was to do such a show….

  • Sidstyler

    “People visit this site becuase they like your videos, not read novels. You have a certain chemistry and charm when you talk about things with video. It doesnt carry over when you write. While its well written, it usually bores me and I find it hard to finish it. Just do everything that you can on video format!”

    While I agree that he’s a fun person to watch on video (he apparently put a lot of points into his Charisma score :D), I don’t think his text updates are boring at all, but rather fun to read. The Spoony One is still behind the keyboard and it shines through in his reviews and these screenplays, he still has the same sense of humor and it manages to keep -me- interested, anyway. And if what was said is true and indeed I am not the only one who wants more text updates then something tells me you shouldn’t be speaking for the people who come to this site. ;)

    Like it’s been said, Noah does this for free, this is his website and he can upload any damn thing he wants to. He could rant about the damn weather for all I care, it’d still be entertaining and I’d still keep coming back, and considering he’s providing this entertainment for free I’m not going to complain. If I don’t like it I don’t have to watch it (or read it!).

  • Sidstyler

    “People visit this site becuase they like your videos, not read novels. You have a certain chemistry and charm when you talk about things with video. It doesnt carry over when you write. While its well written, it usually bores me and I find it hard to finish it. Just do everything that you can on video format!”

    While I agree that he’s a fun person to watch on video (he apparently put a lot of points into his Charisma score :D), I don’t think his text updates are boring at all, but rather fun to read. The Spoony One is still behind the keyboard and it shines through in his reviews and these screenplays, he still has the same sense of humor and it manages to keep -me- interested, anyway. And if what was said is true and indeed I am not the only one who wants more text updates then something tells me you shouldn’t be speaking for the people who come to this site. ;)

    Like it’s been said, Noah does this for free, this is his website and he can upload any damn thing he wants to. He could rant about the damn weather for all I care, it’d still be entertaining and I’d still keep coming back, and considering he’s providing this entertainment for free I’m not going to complain. If I don’t like it I don’t have to watch it (or read it!).

  • Anonymous

    It would have to be on a pay channel. There’s no way a network would let this stay on television for very long. It would be neutered pretty damn fast.

  • mflorian

    It would have to be on a pay channel. There’s no way a network would let this stay on television for very long. It would be neutered pretty damn fast.

  • Sandros

    As a huge fan of the x-files, I can see where you are coming from. I dont know if this is the way the serie should have gone (your scenario) but yeah, after season 7, there was very few good x-files episode and it was a dying serie. Was cool to see Robert Patrick in the x-files and couple guest stars like Burt Reynolds though. The ending of the serie wasnt really creative, the build up of the previous seasons was huge, its sad it ended this way. Still X-files is probably one or actually my favorite tv serie. (even if they was a share amount of not so great episodes)

    I like your rewritten scenario. The possibilities could be almost endless considering how vague and strange is the Lovecraft mythos. If I remember well though, parts of your scenario have actually been explored in the serie. Maybe you already know about this, but there was actually couple of episodes that dealt with the occult like children being sacrificed to a secret cult using black magic, school teachers summoning demons, or like a weird amish comunity that came from space I think. There was also episodes that brought serious doubts about mulders sister actually being abducted by aliens or men in black.

  • Sandros

    As a huge fan of the x-files, I can see where you are coming from. I dont know if this is the way the serie should have gone (your scenario) but yeah, after season 7, there was very few good x-files episode and it was a dying serie. Was cool to see Robert Patrick in the x-files and couple guest stars like Burt Reynolds though. The ending of the serie wasnt really creative, the build up of the previous seasons was huge, its sad it ended this way. Still X-files is probably one or actually my favorite tv serie. (even if they was a share amount of not so great episodes)

    I like your rewritten scenario. The possibilities could be almost endless considering how vague and strange is the Lovecraft mythos. If I remember well though, parts of your scenario have actually been explored in the serie. Maybe you already know about this, but there was actually couple of episodes that dealt with the occult like children being sacrificed to a secret cult using black magic, school teachers summoning demons, or like a weird amish comunity that came from space I think. There was also episodes that brought serious doubts about mulders sister actually being abducted by aliens or men in black.

  • PastaLibre

    I really don’t want to be nitpicky ^^ but since this is the spoony experiment I have to ask these questions just for the sake of my own sanity…

    Would the FBI hire a cultist like Mulder? If they want to keep it a secret, why help him finding clues?
    It’s a neat idea, but, you know, maybe you want to consider that the FBI might actually know their people.
    (sorry if my grammar is bad. I did my best.)

  • PastaLibre

    I really don’t want to be nitpicky ^^ but since this is the spoony experiment I have to ask these questions just for the sake of my own sanity…

    Would the FBI hire a cultist like Mulder? If they want to keep it a secret, why help him finding clues?
    It’s a neat idea, but, you know, maybe you want to consider that the FBI might actually know their people.
    (sorry if my grammar is bad. I did my best.)

  • http://www.spoonyexperiment.com/ Spoony

    Nobody knows that Mulder or his family were members of the cult. It’s not like they advertised on Craigslist.

  • http://www.spoonyexperiment.com Spoony

    Nobody knows that Mulder or his family were members of the cult. It’s not like they advertised on Craigslist.

  • dicnar

    The idea sounds cool. I always loved the first X-files, you know – one episode , one mystery kinda like twilight zone.
    Then when it became more of a continious series i just lost interest becouse as you sad there really wasn’t that much of a mystery and everybody knew that the goverment is bad andspacemen are plotting against us etc.

  • Lash Lightning

    @ Honest Abe: Think of the bright side: It’s quicker for Spoony to think up the idea and just type it out rather than going through the whole process of recording and editing a video.

  • dicnar

    The idea sounds cool. I always loved the first X-files, you know – one episode , one mystery kinda like twilight zone.
    Then when it became more of a continious series i just lost interest becouse as you sad there really wasn’t that much of a mystery and everybody knew that the goverment is bad andspacemen are plotting against us etc.

  • Lash Lightning

    @ Honest Abe: Think of the bright side: It’s quicker for Spoony to think up the idea and just type it out rather than going through the whole process of recording and editing a video.

  • ak

    danm, well what happens after the old ones hatch, after the apocalypses? some Bruce Camble-ish demon fighting, i’m mean you cant simply kill off all the characters like THAT their has to be an AFTER THE ECLIPSE season, (lol mulders sister reshaped as some demon bride hell overlord lol)

  • ak

    danm, well what happens after the old ones hatch, after the apocalypses? some Bruce Camble-ish demon fighting, i’m mean you cant simply kill off all the characters like THAT their has to be an AFTER THE ECLIPSE season, (lol mulders sister reshaped as some demon bride hell overlord lol)

  • The lurking horror

    Your idea has pretty much already been done, at least in a RPG format. The Delta green books to the Call of cthulhu RPG is basically a mix between the conspiracies of the X-files series and the horrors from the Cthulhu mythos. You should really check it out.

    Anyway, I would totally watch your reboot of The X-files if it ever gets done^-^ I love the X-files and the Cthulhu mythos.

  • The lurking horror

    Your idea has pretty much already been done, at least in a RPG format. The Delta green books to the Call of cthulhu RPG is basically a mix between the conspiracies of the X-files series and the horrors from the Cthulhu mythos. You should really check it out.

    Anyway, I would totally watch your reboot of The X-files if it ever gets done^-^ I love the X-files and the Cthulhu mythos.

  • DarkSaber

    I wasn’t overly impressed with your other pitches in this series, but I gotta admit I love your ideas with this one!

  • DarkSaber

    I wasn’t overly impressed with your other pitches in this series, but I gotta admit I love your ideas with this one!

  • jefferus

    wow that sounds awesome, they should make that

  • jefferus

    wow that sounds awesome, they should make that

  • Anonymous

    Why did you hate Battlestar Galactica? It’s easily one of the best, if not THE best, sci-fi series ever.

  • Anonymous

    Why did you hate Battlestar Galactica? It’s easily one of the best, if not THE best, sci-fi series ever.

  • iheardthatcurtis

    @32: Read his thoughts on that one in the movie reviews section. He has his points but i really don’t think Galactica should even be watched as sci-fi. Anyone can see that it is 85% drama and 15% sci-fi. I liked BG reboot but if it is sci-fi i want, i watch B5 or Cube or something like that, not star-wars, stargate or galactica.

    Anyway… Spoony, this x-files story was fun to imagine (and read), but i think i would still stick to Chris Carters vision ;) And i agree about the ending being too predictable. Good Stuff. btw i’m sure you could write a better script for FFVII Advent Children, no matter what you say :P

  • iheardthatcurtis

    @32: Read his thoughts on that one in the movie reviews section. He has his points but i really don’t think Galactica should even be watched as sci-fi. Anyone can see that it is 85% drama and 15% sci-fi. I liked BG reboot but if it is sci-fi i want, i watch B5 or Cube or something like that, not star-wars, stargate or galactica.

    Anyway… Spoony, this x-files story was fun to imagine (and read), but i think i would still stick to Chris Carters vision ;) And i agree about the ending being too predictable. Good Stuff. btw i’m sure you could write a better script for FFVII Advent Children, no matter what you say :P

  • Skippy

    I would absolutely love to see a TV series based on the Cthulhu mythos. Even an ‘Outer Limits’ style thing where the stories are completely independant would be excellent.

    I doubt it’d get great ratings though. The thing about Lovecraft’s stories is a lot of the suspense and horror is more about what ISNT seen, which probably wouldn’t translate very well to the screen. Then again, Reanimator was excellent.

  • Skippy

    I would absolutely love to see a TV series based on the Cthulhu mythos. Even an ‘Outer Limits’ style thing where the stories are completely independant would be excellent.

    I doubt it’d get great ratings though. The thing about Lovecraft’s stories is a lot of the suspense and horror is more about what ISNT seen, which probably wouldn’t translate very well to the screen. Then again, Reanimator was excellent.

  • Disthron

    “Why did you hate Battlestar Galactica?.” -> jefferus

    Yea, I’m wondering this too. I thought Battlestar was a grate show, religious references not withstanding.

    Also, about this show, if the end of the world is very near then why is the government trying to hide the truth about it? I mean why do they even bother if it’s so late? Ok, so society would rip itself apart, but it’s going to do that soon anyway. There was a time when I was interested in Lovecraft’s work but after a while I realized that they all ended the same way. Also, the idea that something is so inherently terrifying that it will cause anyone who sees it to go completely insane brakes my suspension of disbelieve. Kind of like how in the first episode of Eureka some guy discovered a way to make something travel faster than the speed of light and suddenly the universe started unraveling.

  • Disthron

    “Why did you hate Battlestar Galactica?.” -> jefferus

    Yea, I’m wondering this too. I thought Battlestar was a grate show, religious references not withstanding.

    Also, about this show, if the end of the world is very near then why is the government trying to hide the truth about it? I mean why do they even bother if it’s so late? Ok, so society would rip itself apart, but it’s going to do that soon anyway. There was a time when I was interested in Lovecraft’s work but after a while I realized that they all ended the same way. Also, the idea that something is so inherently terrifying that it will cause anyone who sees it to go completely insane brakes my suspension of disbelieve. Kind of like how in the first episode of Eureka some guy discovered a way to make something travel faster than the speed of light and suddenly the universe started unraveling.

  • bruno

    hm..sort of sound like angel to me, ancent evil and cults…btw after that “necronomicon” movie no one should ever put the mythos on the screen again. half the stuff you read in lovecrafts novels looks cool on paper but if you imagine Duchovny doing it…. roll for god damn SAN!

  • bruno

    hm..sort of sound like angel to me, ancent evil and cults…btw after that “necronomicon” movie no one should ever put the mythos on the screen again. half the stuff you read in lovecrafts novels looks cool on paper but if you imagine Duchovny doing it…. roll for god damn SAN!

  • October Mermaid

    As much as I’d love to see a show about Lovecraftean horrors, there’s always the danger of becoming too attached to the protagonists and letting them save the day against all odds. Brian Lumley’s Titus Crow books had this problem. Instead of crazy, world-ending terrors, Cthulhu and friends play Bond villains to Titus Crow and his stuffy heroism.

    If a hypothetical show like this actually went all the way with it and ended on that inevitable, depressing note, it’d be wonderful. But I’d be afraid they’d just cheapen it and defeat the Old Ones somehow.

    Then there’s the problem of special effects in relation to the monsters. People will want to see them, and if they’re shown, they’ll be disappointing. And that’s assuming the CGI and puppetry used to create them is even halfway competent in the first place.

  • October Mermaid

    As much as I’d love to see a show about Lovecraftean horrors, there’s always the danger of becoming too attached to the protagonists and letting them save the day against all odds. Brian Lumley’s Titus Crow books had this problem. Instead of crazy, world-ending terrors, Cthulhu and friends play Bond villains to Titus Crow and his stuffy heroism.

    If a hypothetical show like this actually went all the way with it and ended on that inevitable, depressing note, it’d be wonderful. But I’d be afraid they’d just cheapen it and defeat the Old Ones somehow.

    Then there’s the problem of special effects in relation to the monsters. People will want to see them, and if they’re shown, they’ll be disappointing. And that’s assuming the CGI and puppetry used to create them is even halfway competent in the first place.

  • Voss

    Sounds like a great idea. This is in fact why you should write screenplays. I can just imagine the storyline unfolding – first a few scattered hints of the lurking evil in ancient texts and the ravings of lunatics, building up to an expedition to the lost city behind the Mountains of Madness, where the full, hideous truth is at last revealed. Then the main characters battle to preserve their sanity and start to attempt to prepare for the return of the Elder Gods, which soon arrives and destroys most of humanity. The story would end with the heroes on the run, just trying to survive another day in a world without a future.

    And yeah, the great X-Files episodes were of the Monster-of-the-Week variety. When the conspiracy episodes started to take over, I gradually stopped watching.

  • Voss

    Sounds like a great idea. This is in fact why you should write screenplays. I can just imagine the storyline unfolding – first a few scattered hints of the lurking evil in ancient texts and the ravings of lunatics, building up to an expedition to the lost city behind the Mountains of Madness, where the full, hideous truth is at last revealed. Then the main characters battle to preserve their sanity and start to attempt to prepare for the return of the Elder Gods, which soon arrives and destroys most of humanity. The story would end with the heroes on the run, just trying to survive another day in a world without a future.

    And yeah, the great X-Files episodes were of the Monster-of-the-Week variety. When the conspiracy episodes started to take over, I gradually stopped watching.

  • ReviewLover

    I think I like this Cthulhu Mythos concept. I already thought up an episode where Mulder and Scully find the ruins of a Yithian city but also find some Flying Polyps still lurking.

  • ReviewLover

    I think I like this Cthulhu Mythos concept. I already thought up an episode where Mulder and Scully find the ruins of a Yithian city but also find some Flying Polyps still lurking.

  • http://www.zebragirl.net/ Joe England

    Yeah, I was always a little disappointed how the X-Files left behind the colorful supernatural elements of the earlier episodes to focus more or less entirely on the aliens. Still, while your concept is solid, I think there’d better be a beam of hope in there somewhere if you were going to sell it. I know, that’s anathema to Lovecraft’s whole motif, but if there’s an everpresent sense of doom then the whole exercise seems kind of pointless. At least in an episodic format. People won’t tune in week after week if they know what the ending will be. Although I guess that’s what they do for The Tudors and The Clone Wars. Still, might be nice to have a gold star in there somewhere just to keep us guessing.

  • http://www.zebragirl.net Joe England

    Yeah, I was always a little disappointed how the X-Files left behind the colorful supernatural elements of the earlier episodes to focus more or less entirely on the aliens. Still, while your concept is solid, I think there’d better be a beam of hope in there somewhere if you were going to sell it. I know, that’s anathema to Lovecraft’s whole motif, but if there’s an everpresent sense of doom then the whole exercise seems kind of pointless. At least in an episodic format. People won’t tune in week after week if they know what the ending will be. Although I guess that’s what they do for The Tudors and The Clone Wars. Still, might be nice to have a gold star in there somewhere just to keep us guessing.

  • http://www.zebragirl.net/ Joe England

    Like maybe… I don’t know, at the height of the Apocalypse Mulder and Scully manage to find their way to an alien world with a handful of survivors where they can at least try to start again, and the coda sees the Elder Gods arriving and going into hibernation on that world too, indicating a cyclical process of survival and preordained destruction? Fuck it, this is why I shouldn’t write screenplays.

  • http://www.zebragirl.net Joe England

    Like maybe… I don’t know, at the height of the Apocalypse Mulder and Scully manage to find their way to an alien world with a handful of survivors where they can at least try to start again, and the coda sees the Elder Gods arriving and going into hibernation on that world too, indicating a cyclical process of survival and preordained destruction? Fuck it, this is why I shouldn’t write screenplays.

  • Blunderbuss

    Wow, now -that- is a interesting take on X-Files. Like you said, sometimes it’s pretty ludicrous that a highly advanced alien species would really waste so much time on us. After all, humans are creating these stories, and we always frame everything, from aliens to the devil to other monsters, to revolve around us or our world. The entire reason why the Cthulu mythos is scary (at least to me) is that idea that, no, it’s not about us, these gods are a product of a heartless universe where we’re not even a speck in an Elder God’s eye.

    It’d be the most delicious gut-punch ever for Mulder to hear, “No, Mulder, this didn’t happen because some creatures we don’t even know or understand are out to get us – we don’t even freaking register on their radar. Your sister might have just been a novel toy for a few seconds or even a small snack, but not something as -important- as a sacrifice.”

    I’m not sure about Mulder’s parents being cultists, though – that seems too much of a cliche to me. I really do like the idea of Mulder’s sister being taken and Mulder coming up with the ‘alien abduction’ idea to prevent himself from going utterly mad, though (lest he end up like Jack from Dark Corners of the Earth). Which means that as Mulder slowly gets closer to the truth, he’s closer to the revelation that will most likely drive him utterly nutters.

    As for the ‘sorcerer worshippers and sacrifices’ thing … hmm. Sure, the idea that this horrifying madness has been slowly bleeding out in all facets human society – and even nature itself – over the millenias is certainly cool, but if you’re not careful it can fall into the ‘secret society worshipping the greatest evil’ thing that everyone’s seen heaps of times already. It might be more interesting if they’re mistakingly worshipping the creature’s shedded skin or toenail rather than anything -remotely- close to its real face.

    Also, again, you need to explain why the Lovecraftian horror is there on Earth or is going to destroy Earth without making it about Humans Are Special thing again. Why are they on Earth and not on any other planet? And how can you make a story about a horror that humans cannot stop without making the series depressing and pointless?

    Anyhoo, I’d like to see where you’re going with this. :)

  • Blunderbuss

    Wow, now -that- is a interesting take on X-Files. Like you said, sometimes it’s pretty ludicrous that a highly advanced alien species would really waste so much time on us. After all, humans are creating these stories, and we always frame everything, from aliens to the devil to other monsters, to revolve around us or our world. The entire reason why the Cthulu mythos is scary (at least to me) is that idea that, no, it’s not about us, these gods are a product of a heartless universe where we’re not even a speck in an Elder God’s eye.

    It’d be the most delicious gut-punch ever for Mulder to hear, “No, Mulder, this didn’t happen because some creatures we don’t even know or understand are out to get us – we don’t even freaking register on their radar. Your sister might have just been a novel toy for a few seconds or even a small snack, but not something as -important- as a sacrifice.”

    I’m not sure about Mulder’s parents being cultists, though – that seems too much of a cliche to me. I really do like the idea of Mulder’s sister being taken and Mulder coming up with the ‘alien abduction’ idea to prevent himself from going utterly mad, though (lest he end up like Jack from Dark Corners of the Earth). Which means that as Mulder slowly gets closer to the truth, he’s closer to the revelation that will most likely drive him utterly nutters.

    As for the ‘sorcerer worshippers and sacrifices’ thing … hmm. Sure, the idea that this horrifying madness has been slowly bleeding out in all facets human society – and even nature itself – over the millenias is certainly cool, but if you’re not careful it can fall into the ‘secret society worshipping the greatest evil’ thing that everyone’s seen heaps of times already. It might be more interesting if they’re mistakingly worshipping the creature’s shedded skin or toenail rather than anything -remotely- close to its real face.

    Also, again, you need to explain why the Lovecraftian horror is there on Earth or is going to destroy Earth without making it about Humans Are Special thing again. Why are they on Earth and not on any other planet? And how can you make a story about a horror that humans cannot stop without making the series depressing and pointless?

    Anyhoo, I’d like to see where you’re going with this. :)

  • Blunderbuss

    Hooooly crap that turned out to be TL;DR. Sorry, just wrote an episode review and didn’t mean to be that wordy. *eyedart*

  • Blunderbuss

    Hooooly crap that turned out to be TL;DR. Sorry, just wrote an episode review and didn’t mean to be that wordy. *eyedart*

  • Matrim

    Well, to be honest I really haven’t cared all that much for your other script ideas (mostly, I think, because I prefer your videos). But I have to say that you are on to something here. I don’t know about some of the details you’ve laid out, but X-Files would indeed be -perfect- for a Mythos setting.

    @ Blunderbuss } Humans are special doesn’t enter into it. Earth has been used by all sorts of different entities for different reasons, the fact that we are there and will die when the Great Old Ones awaken is incidental (to them at least).

  • Matrim

    Well, to be honest I really haven’t cared all that much for your other script ideas (mostly, I think, because I prefer your videos). But I have to say that you are on to something here. I don’t know about some of the details you’ve laid out, but X-Files would indeed be -perfect- for a Mythos setting.

    @ Blunderbuss } Humans are special doesn’t enter into it. Earth has been used by all sorts of different entities for different reasons, the fact that we are there and will die when the Great Old Ones awaken is incidental (to them at least).

  • Hiroshi

    I have to admit that I did like your idea for the redoing of the X-Files. However the idea of using the occult and the Cthulhu Mythos as the basis of the new conspiracy… Well, it’s already being done by a very good writer named Charles Stross. He does it with a lot of humor. There’s a collection of the books available through The Science Fiction Book Club called ‘On Her Majesty’s Occult Service’. Here’s the cover blurb.

    Bob Howard was just your typical English hacker – geeky, overweight, fond of UNIX jokes – until he accidentally re-discovered the darkest secret of computational mathematics and nearly summoned an Elder God to obliterate Wolverhampton. Luckily, Her Majesty’s Government has an agency to deal with such problems, and clueless noobs like Bob get immediate, and unavoidable, job offers. Unluckily, the Laundry is chronically underfunded, so secret even the government barely knows it exists, and wracked by vicious turf battles fought with the most soul-blasting methods. (It’s hard to get your job done when HR is trying to reduce headcount with sacrificial knives.)
    In ‘The Atrocity Archive’, Bob, seconded to field-work with no training, tangles with a Nazi death-cult with access to parallel dimensions.
    In ‘The Jennifer Morgue’, a billionaire businessman, obsessed with a certain series of spy novels and movies, has concocted a fiendish scheme to raise a cyclopean entity from the ocean floor, and only Bob – in an ill-fitting tuxedo and a gimmicked econobox car – can stop him.

    I’d suggest checking them out, they’re a bit dense but good reading. And before anyone says anything, the first book was written in 2001 so it’s not a rip off of anything you might be seeing recently on TV.

  • Hiroshi

    I have to admit that I did like your idea for the redoing of the X-Files. However the idea of using the occult and the Cthulhu Mythos as the basis of the new conspiracy… Well, it’s already being done by a very good writer named Charles Stross. He does it with a lot of humor. There’s a collection of the books available through The Science Fiction Book Club called ‘On Her Majesty’s Occult Service’. Here’s the cover blurb.

    Bob Howard was just your typical English hacker – geeky, overweight, fond of UNIX jokes – until he accidentally re-discovered the darkest secret of computational mathematics and nearly summoned an Elder God to obliterate Wolverhampton. Luckily, Her Majesty’s Government has an agency to deal with such problems, and clueless noobs like Bob get immediate, and unavoidable, job offers. Unluckily, the Laundry is chronically underfunded, so secret even the government barely knows it exists, and wracked by vicious turf battles fought with the most soul-blasting methods. (It’s hard to get your job done when HR is trying to reduce headcount with sacrificial knives.)
    In ‘The Atrocity Archive’, Bob, seconded to field-work with no training, tangles with a Nazi death-cult with access to parallel dimensions.
    In ‘The Jennifer Morgue’, a billionaire businessman, obsessed with a certain series of spy novels and movies, has concocted a fiendish scheme to raise a cyclopean entity from the ocean floor, and only Bob – in an ill-fitting tuxedo and a gimmicked econobox car – can stop him.

    I’d suggest checking them out, they’re a bit dense but good reading. And before anyone says anything, the first book was written in 2001 so it’s not a rip off of anything you might be seeing recently on TV.

  • http://julian-lapis.livejournal.com/ DC

    You had me at the mention of Cthulhu and prime-time drama. It’s about time the Mythos got some mainstream screen presence (although one Cult of the Elder Star is pretty much the same as another).

  • http://julian-lapis.livejournal.com DC

    You had me at the mention of Cthulhu and prime-time drama. It’s about time the Mythos got some mainstream screen presence (although one Cult of the Elder Star is pretty much the same as another).

  • Ronni

    Brilliant writing spoony .. i’m an Avid fan of the mythos and an Rpg player in generel
    would actually be cool if they relaunched the series with a story line like this

  • Ronni

    Brilliant writing spoony .. i’m an Avid fan of the mythos and an Rpg player in generel
    would actually be cool if they relaunched the series with a story line like this

  • Frank Trigg III

    i had never even heard of MK-ULTRA.

    it’s pretty messed up.

  • Frank Trigg III

    i had never even heard of MK-ULTRA.

    it’s pretty messed up.

  • ajla

    A few questions about this idea:

    1. You wrote that the end of humanity is preordained. Does the government know this date? Is it happening soon? I mean changes in the Sun are going to end life on Earth, people today just don’t worry about it because it is an event set in the distant future.

    2. Even if people were told “the truth”, what would make them believe it? Do the “Old Ones” have the ability to make their presence on Earth obviously known? Christians and Muslims both believe and preach about a rather violent end to the world, but that never caused anarchy. What makes this end of days scenario so credible that knowledge of it would cause the downfall of scoiety?

    3. What is the motivation of the government in keeping “everything’s fine” fantasy going if they are just as screwed as everyone else when the world ends? Why do they give a damn if the world tears itself apart?

  • ajla

    A few questions about this idea:

    1. You wrote that the end of humanity is preordained. Does the government know this date? Is it happening soon? I mean changes in the Sun are going to end life on Earth, people today just don’t worry about it because it is an event set in the distant future.

    2. Even if people were told “the truth”, what would make them believe it? Do the “Old Ones” have the ability to make their presence on Earth obviously known? Christians and Muslims both believe and preach about a rather violent end to the world, but that never caused anarchy. What makes this end of days scenario so credible that knowledge of it would cause the downfall of scoiety?

    3. What is the motivation of the government in keeping “everything’s fine” fantasy going if they are just as screwed as everyone else when the world ends? Why do they give a damn if the world tears itself apart?

  • TIMESWORDSMAN

    I’d watch that.

  • TIMESWORDSMAN

    I’d watch that.

  • wes

    if this were actually able to get up and running i be tit would end up like firefly.

  • wes

    if this were actually able to get up and running i be tit would end up like firefly.

  • Henryspock

    “All he remembers is a shrieking, piercing nose”

    I remember that nose! It sounded awful!

    But yeah, I like this idea a lot. You knew I would. I’a.

  • Henryspock

    “All he remembers is a shrieking, piercing nose”

    I remember that nose! It sounded awful!

    But yeah, I like this idea a lot. You knew I would. I’a.

  • Andrew The Eternal

    Hell, you could even plop this story right at the end of the current X-files. Have Teh Conspiracy desperately trying to manipulate the aliens into distracting the Old Ones the entire time, and make the aliens’ incompetence and division due to caution in dealing with Cthulhu and said Cosmic Horror eating away at the extraterrestrials’ sanity respectively.

    CSM: “December 12, 2012. The Mayans knew the horror that day would bring long before most of humanity could even comprehend such evil. Every apocalypse or doomsday cult in history has been the sanity of mankind writhing under the half-glimpses of that dark time.
    When first contact was made with the aliens, we leaped at the chance to twist fate. We served as their willing boot licks in the mad hope that they would have a balm for our sickness.
    Congratulations, Mulder. You have stymied them; your personal windmill felled by a lance. Now we will stand alone before the horrid monsters of the Cosmos. Our shrieks of pain will not even be heard before the endless silence retakes Earth.

  • Andrew The Eternal

    Hell, you could even plop this story right at the end of the current X-files. Have Teh Conspiracy desperately trying to manipulate the aliens into distracting the Old Ones the entire time, and make the aliens’ incompetence and division due to caution in dealing with Cthulhu and said Cosmic Horror eating away at the extraterrestrials’ sanity respectively.

    CSM: “December 12, 2012. The Mayans knew the horror that day would bring long before most of humanity could even comprehend such evil. Every apocalypse or doomsday cult in history has been the sanity of mankind writhing under the half-glimpses of that dark time.
    When first contact was made with the aliens, we leaped at the chance to twist fate. We served as their willing boot licks in the mad hope that they would have a balm for our sickness.
    Congratulations, Mulder. You have stymied them; your personal windmill felled by a lance. Now we will stand alone before the horrid monsters of the Cosmos. Our shrieks of pain will not even be heard before the endless silence retakes Earth.

  • http://www.h3adlin3.com/ headcheese

    Check out Delta Green the rpg from Pagan Publishing: http://www.tccorp.com/
    They were rocking the government agents vs the mythos even before x-files came out.

  • http://www.h3adlin3.com headcheese

    Check out Delta Green the rpg from Pagan Publishing: http://www.tccorp.com/
    They were rocking the government agents vs the mythos even before x-files came out.

  • http://www.natchevil.com/ Grimwit

    Green light this you magnificent glorious bastard.

    After the first season, fan’s will be bleeding pitch from their eyes as if Zalgo joined the Met.

    LET’S DO IT!

  • http://www.natchevil.com Grimwit

    Green light this you magnificent glorious bastard.

    After the first season, fan’s will be bleeding pitch from their eyes as if Zalgo joined the Met.

    LET’S DO IT!

  • Zeta

    Isn’t this lonelygirl17?

  • Zeta

    Isn’t this lonelygirl17?

  • zoob

    My God. I’m speechless. This should definitely be put on air, it would be the best reboot ever! Ia! Ia!

  • zoob

    My God. I’m speechless. This should definitely be put on air, it would be the best reboot ever! Ia! Ia!

  • 12sided

    forget reboot of an old series, we need an original mythos series for today XD it would be awesome and have none of the baggage that rebooting brings with it.

  • 12sided

    forget reboot of an old series, we need an original mythos series for today XD it would be awesome and have none of the baggage that rebooting brings with it.

  • Tai MT

    The X-Files used to be a good show. It kind of had an underlying storyline with it, but it was mostly there simply to provide character background and motivation.

    I never cared about the episodes that dealt with the whole “conspiracy” thing. Except for, you know, the two-parter in which Mulder switched bodies with a high ranking government guy. That was hilarious.

    Where The X-Files really shined was in the weekly paranormal stuff. You’d get episodes about gargoyles actually being real creatures, or about ghosts who just want to toy with Mulder and Scully on Christmas. You’d get episodes about a murderous twin-growth-thing at a Circus, or about a boy who was actually some kind of strange spider who could control other bugs with pheramones.

    When you watched The X-Files you didn’t watch it to see how the whole “alien conspiracy” thing came out. I mean, it was tired and cliché already, which is why a lot of the series didn’t spend much time on it. They’d devote an episode here or there, just to remind you of Mulder’s true motivations behind even running The X-Files at the FBI…. But you needed no more than that.

    The aliens were unimaginative and so was the plot surrounding them. And the writers deliberately made it convoluted in order to try to keep you guessing, even though they knew and you knew, exactly where it was going. I mean, they even had the episode that explained what happened to Samantha, and still, you didn’t know what happened to her. The government guys who took her didn’t even know exactly what happened to her. She was just gone.

    The X-Files was never about the main storyline, Spoony. And unfortunately, I think you fall victim to the same thing the writers fell victim to. And that is, trying to resolve the series, trying to make it a running storyline instead of a “stand alone” type show. Each episode could stand on its own, you could watch it without having seen any of the episodes before it. But once they started getting into the actual story…. You had to watch each episode, you couldn’t miss any of them, or you’d be lost forever.

    And once the theme picked up that every episode was about getting SOME kind of resolution out of the series…. I stopped watching. It wasn’t cool or interesting anymore. It was just, “cliché alien conspiracy stuff”.

    You want to revive the series, you have to do it properly. And you do that by writing the series as it was originally written. You only bring in an episode about the main storyline when you need to refresh the memories about why Mulder is fighting in the first place. And until that point, you just make crazy and interesting storylines about some of the most fantastic things you could come up with.

    It was like “The Outer Limits” or “The Twilight Zone” with good acting and suspense-filled plots. And it had characters that everyone knew and recognized, that kept from episode to episode.

    If it deserves a reboot, you have to do it right. And spoony, I’m sorry, but trying to focus on the “main story” is not the way to do it right. It’s the way to send it down the crapper at an even quicker pace than the original series.

    I mean, just look how long the original series RAN before they ever started devoting more than one or two episodes a season to their “main storyline”. Fans loved it. I loved it.

    If you do it, you do it like that.

  • Tai MT

    The X-Files used to be a good show. It kind of had an underlying storyline with it, but it was mostly there simply to provide character background and motivation.

    I never cared about the episodes that dealt with the whole “conspiracy” thing. Except for, you know, the two-parter in which Mulder switched bodies with a high ranking government guy. That was hilarious.

    Where The X-Files really shined was in the weekly paranormal stuff. You’d get episodes about gargoyles actually being real creatures, or about ghosts who just want to toy with Mulder and Scully on Christmas. You’d get episodes about a murderous twin-growth-thing at a Circus, or about a boy who was actually some kind of strange spider who could control other bugs with pheramones.

    When you watched The X-Files you didn’t watch it to see how the whole “alien conspiracy” thing came out. I mean, it was tired and cliché already, which is why a lot of the series didn’t spend much time on it. They’d devote an episode here or there, just to remind you of Mulder’s true motivations behind even running The X-Files at the FBI…. But you needed no more than that.

    The aliens were unimaginative and so was the plot surrounding them. And the writers deliberately made it convoluted in order to try to keep you guessing, even though they knew and you knew, exactly where it was going. I mean, they even had the episode that explained what happened to Samantha, and still, you didn’t know what happened to her. The government guys who took her didn’t even know exactly what happened to her. She was just gone.

    The X-Files was never about the main storyline, Spoony. And unfortunately, I think you fall victim to the same thing the writers fell victim to. And that is, trying to resolve the series, trying to make it a running storyline instead of a “stand alone” type show. Each episode could stand on its own, you could watch it without having seen any of the episodes before it. But once they started getting into the actual story…. You had to watch each episode, you couldn’t miss any of them, or you’d be lost forever.

    And once the theme picked up that every episode was about getting SOME kind of resolution out of the series…. I stopped watching. It wasn’t cool or interesting anymore. It was just, “cliché alien conspiracy stuff”.

    You want to revive the series, you have to do it properly. And you do that by writing the series as it was originally written. You only bring in an episode about the main storyline when you need to refresh the memories about why Mulder is fighting in the first place. And until that point, you just make crazy and interesting storylines about some of the most fantastic things you could come up with.

    It was like “The Outer Limits” or “The Twilight Zone” with good acting and suspense-filled plots. And it had characters that everyone knew and recognized, that kept from episode to episode.

    If it deserves a reboot, you have to do it right. And spoony, I’m sorry, but trying to focus on the “main story” is not the way to do it right. It’s the way to send it down the crapper at an even quicker pace than the original series.

    I mean, just look how long the original series RAN before they ever started devoting more than one or two episodes a season to their “main storyline”. Fans loved it. I loved it.

    If you do it, you do it like that.

  • FlyinyourSoup

    Dude, this is fan-fucking-tastic! I honestly wish I could watch this.

  • FlyinyourSoup

    Dude, this is fan-fucking-tastic! I honestly wish I could watch this.

  • Gorvar

    Best.Idea.EVER!!!

  • Gorvar

    Best.Idea.EVER!!!

  • Corey

    Dear Mr. Antwiler,

    This is the greatest idea of all time. That is all. Thank you.

  • Corey

    Dear Mr. Antwiler,

    This is the greatest idea of all time. That is all. Thank you.

  • http://dukeofdorks.blogspot.com/ johnnyfog

    Reboot. Hmm…consider this:

    X-files was perfect for the 90s because that’s when the public distrusted and feared the government the most. Granted, nobody trusts the government now but we’ve become so accustomed to its general brutishness and incompetence that nobody’s really scared of it.

    I don’t think you could update X-files anymore than you could ‘update’ Miami Vice. It was the right place at the right time, and this decade or any other would be ill-fitting for it. My 2 cents =)

  • http://dukeofdorks.blogspot.com/ johnnyfog

    Reboot. Hmm…consider this:

    X-files was perfect for the 90s because that’s when the public distrusted and feared the government the most. Granted, nobody trusts the government now but we’ve become so accustomed to its general brutishness and incompetence that nobody’s really scared of it.

    I don’t think you could update X-files anymore than you could ‘update’ Miami Vice. It was the right place at the right time, and this decade or any other would be ill-fitting for it. My 2 cents =)

  • Dax

    I was never a fan of the X-Files, having caught the first couple of episodes & having nothing stick. Damn, I would be tivoing Spoony’s reboot of the show so fuckin quick! It’s so damn irritating we’ll never see a good show based on the Mythos. “Why you should write screenplays” Mr Antwiler, why you should.

  • Dax

    I was never a fan of the X-Files, having caught the first couple of episodes & having nothing stick. Damn, I would be tivoing Spoony’s reboot of the show so fuckin quick! It’s so damn irritating we’ll never see a good show based on the Mythos. “Why you should write screenplays” Mr Antwiler, why you should.

  • Specter Von Baren

    While I like having a different take on things and such, I hate the whole, everything is for naught, we’re all screwed, kill yourself, attitude it takes. But that’s just me hating crapshoot stories since they basically amount to everyone wasting their time watching/reading/playing the thing since nothing the characters did actually mattered. Maybe if the government was just keeping these horrors from being released and it wasn’t some sort of inevitable ‘everyone dies’ scenario, then I’d be more inclined to this…

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Edward-Jay-Harington/100000016038880 Edward Jay Harington

      I have to agree. When a story ends in, “…and then the Bad Guys won.”, it really makes me feel like all the time I put into seeing it through to the end was wasted. I feel betrayed by the story in a very real way. That said, though, the set-up presented here is absolutely brilliant. I’d just take it further. Scully having to reign in Mulder and his growing madness. The inevitable “vision quest” episode in which the persona of the devoted truth-seeker and that of the indoctrinated cultist meet face-to-face, one to destroy the other, or perhaps to be in the end be made whole. Introduce a being that can only be called “God”, as terrible as any of the others, but more patient and far-reaching in its plans. it is willing to help the humans in their futile struggle against its lesser kin, but at what ultimate cost? Is the fate it will eventually bring upon us destined to be ultimately worse than that it saved us from? Last of all, there is the entity that appears in visions to dispense mysterious wisdom, its form a twisted parody of departed loved ones. What is it really and why is it helping them? When and if Mulder and Scully disrupt the plans of the Old Ones, will it really be the end?

      • Maria White

        Mulder realizes just what happened, all the terrible repressed things came back to him. All the things his parents did to him, taught him from birth to do, all comes back. Mulder shoots Scully in the leg still fighting for sanity still trying to hold onto his humanity. He leaves her bleeding on the floor just vanishing, laughing madly. Scully is left not knowing just how insane her partner was, and only realizes it when the government actually finds the gibbering psychopath that is his father. The same people that she had thought to be working against were the only ones trying to by the world time against the nearly futile hope mankind can gain enough power to stop the world from being consumed.

        Mulder’s father tells her in his only moment of true sanity for YEARS, that she must find her partner, find the man she loved and kill him before he awakens the elder gods. His father then kills himself biting through his own wrists so that he can die, die knowing he did one thing good in this world. Shadow creatures begin to erupt from the depths of human despair and the government is desperately trying to force them back. Only one person takes Scully to a small farming town, and leaves her amid the mass of cultists, demons, aliens what have you all culminating to bring their gods to earth.

        In the center she find Mulder, preparing to bring forth the demons, perhaps to bring what could be his sister back, perhaps just because of what he was raised to do. Scully does not know, the portal from which the dark things is tied to his life, and she is quickly loosing her own mind from the deep reaching insanity of the WRONGNESS that is these creatures. Slowly she goes up to Mulder, tells him she loves him, and shoots him in the head.

        The creatures scream unholy cries driving deep into her soul and rending it into pieces as they fade back into their own realm. With tears pouring out of her eyes, she proceeds to enact mass slaughter of what is left of the humans and animals. Once everything around her is dead, she uses her last bullet to shoot herself in the head. But misses, blowing out the side of her head as the government comes to wipe the mess up into a biological attack.

        She wakes up a metal plate in her head, luckily not remembering anything because of the severe brain damage and mental trauma. She barely recalls her life in fact. But there is a whisper, deep in her brain. Something waiting, something there crawling inside her brain barely felt or acknowledged. It is pure insanity, just waiting for one last thing to push her over the edge, it will only be her strength that can keep it from taking over her. Just like it took over Mulder.

        ((How is that for a happy ending?))

  • Specter Von Baren

    While I like having a different take on things and such, I hate the whole, everything is for naught, we’re all screwed, kill yourself, attitude it takes. But that’s just me hating crapshoot stories since they basically amount to everyone wasting their time watching/reading/playing the thing since nothing the characters did actually mattered. Maybe if the government was just keeping these horrors from being released and it wasn’t some sort of inevitable ‘everyone dies’ scenario, then I’d be more inclined to this…

  • Olivaw

    I was with you right until you retconned Mulder’s origin.

    I mean really, not everything in the Cthulhu Mythos has to be about a Blood Cult to Azathoth or whatever.

    Maybe his sister was ALLOWED to be taken by the ancient alien god-thing, and the reason it seems like an alien abduction to Mulder (other than the fact that it technically is) is because all his brain could indeed process was a bright light and a piercing sound and his sister going out the window.

    Maybe the government, rather than maintaining the status quo, is working with aliens who came to Earth specifically because of the sleeping things that lie here. Sure, they probably don’t need us, they don’t even care about us, but we do know things about the old ones – ancient cults and pagan religions attest to that. Maybe they’re just funneling information to the government to do with what they will, or maybe they’re actually bothering to make contact with select members to facilitate the information gathering. Regardless, it should be clear that though the alien things are almighty and nigh omniscient, they truly fear what exists within this planet.

    And Mulder’s quest to find out what happened to his sister will inevitably lead him to the truth, and then what? What does he do with the knowledge that the government is propagating the myths and conspiracies he and others have believing in so fervently for so long? How does he deal with the knowledge that nearly all the supernatural events he has witnessed have been because of the stirrings of the Eldest in their sleep? How does he deal with the fact that his sister was taken to appease them, to stimulate their dreamscapes and keep them asleep long enough to figure out a way to end their existence forever?

    …man, you’re right, you shouldn’t write screenplays. This is crap.

  • Olivaw

    I was with you right until you retconned Mulder’s origin.

    I mean really, not everything in the Cthulhu Mythos has to be about a Blood Cult to Azathoth or whatever.

    Maybe his sister was ALLOWED to be taken by the ancient alien god-thing, and the reason it seems like an alien abduction to Mulder (other than the fact that it technically is) is because all his brain could indeed process was a bright light and a piercing sound and his sister going out the window.

    Maybe the government, rather than maintaining the status quo, is working with aliens who came to Earth specifically because of the sleeping things that lie here. Sure, they probably don’t need us, they don’t even care about us, but we do know things about the old ones – ancient cults and pagan religions attest to that. Maybe they’re just funneling information to the government to do with what they will, or maybe they’re actually bothering to make contact with select members to facilitate the information gathering. Regardless, it should be clear that though the alien things are almighty and nigh omniscient, they truly fear what exists within this planet.

    And Mulder’s quest to find out what happened to his sister will inevitably lead him to the truth, and then what? What does he do with the knowledge that the government is propagating the myths and conspiracies he and others have believing in so fervently for so long? How does he deal with the knowledge that nearly all the supernatural events he has witnessed have been because of the stirrings of the Eldest in their sleep? How does he deal with the fact that his sister was taken to appease them, to stimulate their dreamscapes and keep them asleep long enough to figure out a way to end their existence forever?

    …man, you’re right, you shouldn’t write screenplays. This is crap.

  • Dave

    Actually I’d watch a Cthulhu-influenced X-Files in a heartbeat. I mean, Doctor Who did it, why not Mulder and Scully?

  • Dave

    Actually I’d watch a Cthulhu-influenced X-Files in a heartbeat. I mean, Doctor Who did it, why not Mulder and Scully?

  • Xenomorph

    I rather like this idea, though it wouldn’t have to necessarily be an X-Files reboot; the basic premise would work pretty well on its own. I rather like the break away from the common “evil government” trope that just plagues TV shows and films like this. It’s one of the reasons I enjoyed Men In Black, despite the fact that it used the stereotypical ‘government covering up the existence of aliens’ schtick, because it showed the government as actually trying to do the right thing (even if you take issue with the assumption that knowledge of the existence of aliens should be kept secret). An X-Files-esque show would be better served by a more “grey” government, where they are trying to do the overall right thing (stopping the Elders), but taking some pretty nasty measures to get there. The shift of what you thought were the “bad guys” into the “sorta good guys” also makes for good drama.

  • Xenomorph

    I rather like this idea, though it wouldn’t have to necessarily be an X-Files reboot; the basic premise would work pretty well on its own. I rather like the break away from the common “evil government” trope that just plagues TV shows and films like this. It’s one of the reasons I enjoyed Men In Black, despite the fact that it used the stereotypical ‘government covering up the existence of aliens’ schtick, because it showed the government as actually trying to do the right thing (even if you take issue with the assumption that knowledge of the existence of aliens should be kept secret). An X-Files-esque show would be better served by a more “grey” government, where they are trying to do the overall right thing (stopping the Elders), but taking some pretty nasty measures to get there. The shift of what you thought were the “bad guys” into the “sorta good guys” also makes for good drama.

  • Sabastian Bludd

    Other people have mentioned Delta Green so I’ll just reaffirm that it’s precisely what you’re describing and it’s worth checking out. I don’t even play RPG’s but the books (there are 3 source books and 4 fiction books) are fantastic reads even if you don’t plan on ever playing.

    I also highly, HIGHLY recommend The Atrocity Archives, a novel by Charles Stross. It’s a combination of modern-day Call of Cthulhu (like Delta Green but with a British agency fighting the good fight) with a really excellent cyber-punk twist. Picture your X-Files reboot concept mashed together with the best elements of Snow Crash (i.e., no Sumerian “language virus” high concept bullshit) and set in modern day England and you’d not be far off. It also includes the novella Concrete Jungle which is excellent in its own right. He published a sequel called The Jennifer Morgue that was his homage to Ian Fleming and it wasn’t quite as good IMHO.

    Below is a non-spoiler excerpt that I posted on another forum when I was trying to convince other people to check out this book. The book’s written in the first person POV and this part deals with the protagonist talking to a weapons instructor about a HOG-3 (Class three Hand of Glory):

    “I take it that bullseye wasn’t an accident?”

    I pick up the hand and remember to disarm it this time. “Nope. You realise you don’t need an anthropoid for this? Ever wondered why there are so many one-legged pigeons in central London?”

    Harry shakes his head. “You young ‘uns. Back when I was getting going we used to think the future would be all lasers and food pills and rockets to Mars.”

    “It’s not that different,” I remonstrate. “Look, it’s a science. You try using a limb from someone who died of motor neurone disease or MS and you’ll find out in a hurry! What we’re doing is setting up a microgrid that funnels in an information gate from another contiguous continuum. Information gates are, like, easy; with a bit more energy we can crank it open and bring mass through, but that’s more hazardous so we don’t do it very often. The demonic presences–okay, the extraterrestrial sapient fast-thinkers on the other side–try to grab control over the proprioceptive nerves they can sense the layout of on the other side of the grid. The nerves are dead, like the rest of the hand, but they still act as a useful channel. So the result is an information pulse, raw information down around the Planck level, that shows up to us as a phase-conjugated beam of coherent light–”

    I point the hand at the downrange target. Two smoking feet.

    “What will you do if you ever have to point that thing at another human being?” Harry asks quietly.

    I put it back on the rack hastily. “I really hope I’m never put in that position,” I say.

  • Sabastian Bludd

    Other people have mentioned Delta Green so I’ll just reaffirm that it’s precisely what you’re describing and it’s worth checking out. I don’t even play RPG’s but the books (there are 3 source books and 4 fiction books) are fantastic reads even if you don’t plan on ever playing.

    I also highly, HIGHLY recommend The Atrocity Archives, a novel by Charles Stross. It’s a combination of modern-day Call of Cthulhu (like Delta Green but with a British agency fighting the good fight) with a really excellent cyber-punk twist. Picture your X-Files reboot concept mashed together with the best elements of Snow Crash (i.e., no Sumerian “language virus” high concept bullshit) and set in modern day England and you’d not be far off. It also includes the novella Concrete Jungle which is excellent in its own right. He published a sequel called The Jennifer Morgue that was his homage to Ian Fleming and it wasn’t quite as good IMHO.

    Below is a non-spoiler excerpt that I posted on another forum when I was trying to convince other people to check out this book. The book’s written in the first person POV and this part deals with the protagonist talking to a weapons instructor about a HOG-3 (Class three Hand of Glory):

    “I take it that bullseye wasn’t an accident?”

    I pick up the hand and remember to disarm it this time. “Nope. You realise you don’t need an anthropoid for this? Ever wondered why there are so many one-legged pigeons in central London?”

    Harry shakes his head. “You young ‘uns. Back when I was getting going we used to think the future would be all lasers and food pills and rockets to Mars.”

    “It’s not that different,” I remonstrate. “Look, it’s a science. You try using a limb from someone who died of motor neurone disease or MS and you’ll find out in a hurry! What we’re doing is setting up a microgrid that funnels in an information gate from another contiguous continuum. Information gates are, like, easy; with a bit more energy we can crank it open and bring mass through, but that’s more hazardous so we don’t do it very often. The demonic presences–okay, the extraterrestrial sapient fast-thinkers on the other side–try to grab control over the proprioceptive nerves they can sense the layout of on the other side of the grid. The nerves are dead, like the rest of the hand, but they still act as a useful channel. So the result is an information pulse, raw information down around the Planck level, that shows up to us as a phase-conjugated beam of coherent light–”

    I point the hand at the downrange target. Two smoking feet.

    “What will you do if you ever have to point that thing at another human being?” Harry asks quietly.

    I put it back on the rack hastily. “I really hope I’m never put in that position,” I say.

  • hem dazon

    good idea but not an x-files reboot I actually liked the whole consoirisy

    this would be good as a whole new show though

  • hem dazon

    good idea but not an x-files reboot I actually liked the whole consoirisy

    this would be good as a whole new show though

  • Leviathan

    The X-Files was meant to be more of a modern-era Twilight Zone/Outer Limits that injected skepticism and open-mindedness into people’s thoughts, but they also knit the episodes together with Mulder and Scully to give it a sort of soap-opera angle. I don’t think the X-Files was ever meant to be taken seriously as a drama. It’s a great show for staunch atheist skeptics and crystal-clutching UFO-chasing Alex Jones-listening wing nuts. You COULD make the Call of Cthulhu into a television series that kicked ass but didn’t handle the supernatural aspects in the lazy manner Buffy and Angel or Roswell handled it, and introduce two diametrically opposed, sexually frustrated main characters akin to Mulder and Scully, but I wouldn’t call it the “X-Files”. The word “files”, to me, indicates that it’s a serial of individual stories that have nothing to do with one another, but are only sewn together by the two main characters who investigate them. I didn’t bother looking for a big picture in that show because I knew it would be like asking for a big picture in Rod Serling’s original Twilight Zone.

  • Leviathan

    The X-Files was meant to be more of a modern-era Twilight Zone/Outer Limits that injected skepticism and open-mindedness into people’s thoughts, but they also knit the episodes together with Mulder and Scully to give it a sort of soap-opera angle. I don’t think the X-Files was ever meant to be taken seriously as a drama. It’s a great show for staunch atheist skeptics and crystal-clutching UFO-chasing Alex Jones-listening wing nuts. You COULD make the Call of Cthulhu into a television series that kicked ass but didn’t handle the supernatural aspects in the lazy manner Buffy and Angel or Roswell handled it, and introduce two diametrically opposed, sexually frustrated main characters akin to Mulder and Scully, but I wouldn’t call it the “X-Files”. The word “files”, to me, indicates that it’s a serial of individual stories that have nothing to do with one another, but are only sewn together by the two main characters who investigate them. I didn’t bother looking for a big picture in that show because I knew it would be like asking for a big picture in Rod Serling’s original Twilight Zone.

  • Melick

    I know that it is supposed to be a terrible idea but I still find this twist on X-files could make the show a lot more mysterious and it would give it a real unpredictable ending,

  • Melick

    I know that it is supposed to be a terrible idea but I still find this twist on X-files could make the show a lot more mysterious and it would give it a real unpredictable ending,

  • Jason

    I can’t help but notice that in most of your ideas to “fix” a show or movie what you actually destroy it.

    • http://twitter.com/lurkeriatipsos Mary Sulkowski

       And THAT is why this is called “Why I shouldn’t write screenplays.”

  • Jason

    I can’t help but notice that in most of your ideas to “fix” a show or movie what you actually destroy it.

  • Ricyn

    And here I was thinking I was alone in thinking that doing that would be a good idea, I really should have started reading these things earlier.
    I even went so far that I’m about to GM a X-files styled game of Call of Cthulhu in a few hours time, only I decided to set it in the town I live so that doctoring photographs actually will make the players feel like something weird is happening where they live.

  • Ricyn

    And here I was thinking I was alone in thinking that doing that would be a good idea, I really should have started reading these things earlier.
    I even went so far that I’m about to GM a X-files styled game of Call of Cthulhu in a few hours time, only I decided to set it in the town I live so that doctoring photographs actually will make the players feel like something weird is happening where they live.

  • http://cassiopeia.yuku.com/ Bethgael

    X-Files meets Charmed?

    Awesome. Seriously. And awful, all at the same time.

    Yeah. I don’t know what I mean, either.

  • http://cassiopeia.yuku.com Bethgael

    X-Files meets Charmed?

    Awesome. Seriously. And awful, all at the same time.

    Yeah. I don’t know what I mean, either.

  • FiniNevermore

    You have blown my mind, sir. If this had been the ending of The X-Files, I wouldn’t have bailed out right before the last season. Yeah, I know, why did I stay that long? Because I was hoping something way more epic than the standard alien invasion was the secret. It’s dark, but I would watch the hell out of this, and recommend it to all my friends.

  • FiniNevermore

    You have blown my mind, sir. If this had been the ending of The X-Files, I wouldn’t have bailed out right before the last season. Yeah, I know, why did I stay that long? Because I was hoping something way more epic than the standard alien invasion was the secret. It’s dark, but I would watch the hell out of this, and recommend it to all my friends.

  • Biz

    spoony….

    darkdaysarecoming.com?

  • Biz

    spoony….

    darkdaysarecoming.com?

  • http://openid-provider.appspot.com/Viredae Viredae

    Remind me why this series is called why you SHOULDN'T write screenplays?

  • http://openid-provider.appspot.com/Viredae Viredae

    Remind me why this series is called why you SHOULDN’T write screenplays?

  • http://twitter.com/Xephon0930 Joong Kim

    I got a good question,WHY AREN’T YOU WRITING THIS DOWN!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!!! Why!!!!?!?!?!!? I would so love to see a show like this. My ass is literally hooked in the tv screen. This is something I’d really like to see worked on.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Aaron-Kerr/100000680887523 Aaron Kerr

    Spoony, you are the only person I’ve ever found who holds theoretical alien civilizations to the same high regard I do. Everybody else thinks it will be like Mars Attacks or Star Trek, you and I are the only ones who know different.

  • Geoffrey Walter

    Yet another “stupid” idea you had that I’d friggin’ watch. What the hell, man? Why do you think these are bad ideas? Admittedly I haven’t read the one about Manos yet, so maybe that sucks, but still!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ICDHG7TLTN6JVK6JMK3TKQFXKQ Mike Wallace

    Hot damn. I’a I’a Spoony fhtagn.

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