Two Words: Fucking Blaster Bombs.

The Spoony One | Apr 29 2009 | more notation(s) | 

Get me Michael Bay.

X-Com

If you’ve played the games, I probably don’t need to say anything else to sell you on this one. It’s fucking X-Com, people; the game where we, as a united planet, saw UFOs abducting our cattle for depraved sexual reasons and said “no more!”

Okay, yeah, I know, this is basically the plot of every sci-fi movie ever: a fleet of aliens circles the earth and invades, scooping out our brains and probing our anuses, and the only thing that will save us is a group of muscular, gun-toting badasses led by (insert action star here).

I never promised this was going to be deep. Simple is good. Simple is accessible. Sometimes there’s nothing wrong with going with a winning formula, and when it comes to summer blockbusters, nothing beats a good old-fashioned alien invasion. The gleefully-vapid, balls-to-the-wall action flicks of the 80s are something of a relic, but you don’t have to look any farther than the Crank series to see that movies come in a lot of different flavors, and sometimes you crave a Red Bull. I just want to stay on-message with this movie, not overcomplicate it with unwelcome comic relief and action movie cliches. Whenever you see an alien attack movie anymore, they try to emulate Aliens by playing up the suspense and horror more than the action. They play out more like a slasher flick than an action movie, lots of cheap scares and orchestra stings.

Sure, the X-Com game is actually very slow-paced, with a lot of stalking around in dark corridors with aliens lurking in the shadows, just waiting to leap out and attack. There’s room for that in the movie, but only in the early stages when the marines don’t really know what they’re up against. Just think of a Chrysalid terror attack where X-Com encounters a town full of mind controlled and infected zombified civilians. But once the invasion is in full-swing, I want this movie to be exciting. These aliens aren’t hiding, this is an invasion!

I want the focus of this movie to be on small-squad tactics. My vision is Black Hawk Down, but with aliens: a series of loud, intense, chaotic running battles, but at its core is a group of trained killers who know what they’re doing, and they don’t rattle. I’m annoyed at how panicky and ineffective Earth’s armed forces are against giant monsters and alien threats. X-Com gave us a real feeling of empowerment, of overcoming the odds and adapting to the aliens’ gameplan. They have better weapons? That’s okay, we’ll pry them out of their cold, dead hands and use them ourselves. That’s what I want here: a real sense of teamwork. No stupid alien weaknesses like “water” (Signs) or the giant blue fuck-me light on the alien mothership (Independence Day), just salt-of-the-earth jarheads doing what they do better than anyone else, and then striking a match on the charred husks of their enemies for a celebratory cigar.

There’s nothing not to like! Aliens, marines, cool outfits, big guns, explosions, airplanes, spaceships, powered armor for the otaku, psychic powers and exploding heads, and it’s even got a feel-good message of global unity.

And this needn’t be the brainless summer entertainment you normally expect out of movies like this. I know I’ve been describing a faceless mob of disposable marines as our main protagonists, but there’s a lot of room for characters and subplots. Your main action focus will be on the X-Com operatives on the ground, of course, but you’ve also got your squadron of hotshot Interceptor pilots engaging in aerial battles. The main protagonist could be a civilian caught up in a terror attack who discovers psychic powers vital in fending off the Sectoid menace. And then there’s the grizzled commander of the X-Com forces who has to deal with all the uncooperative politicians and diplomats responsible for funding the operation. There’s definitely at least one alien agent among them, just waiting for the opportunity to transmit the location of X-Com’s hidden base to a strike fleet. How about deranged alien sympathizers actively interfering with X-Com operations? Turncoat nations seeking to strike an alliance with their new alien overlords? Corrupt megacorporations seeking to capture and exploit these new technologies! You could go anywhere with this.

And the toys! My god, man, the toys you could sell! Talk about a built-in action figure and vehicle line. Video game re-releases! TV options! I’ll be rich!

All I know is that I want a scene where a marine in powered armor fires a blaster bomb at a target hiding inside a doorway a mile away, programming waypoints so that it navigates around the door, takes a sharp u-turn and flies directly up the alien’s ass, even though the explosion would have been sufficient to kill it twice over if he’d gotten it anywhere within a hundred yards of the poor sap.

You’d have to wipe my jizz off the screen with a squeegee, man.

And I haven’t even mentioned the built-in “Terror From the Deep” sequel.

Lobstermen, guys. Lobstermen.

  • shroud

    Just get it made and you’ll have my $10 :o)

  • shroud

    Just get it made and you’ll have my $10 :o)

  • shroud

    Just get it made and you’ll have my $10 :o)

  • shroud

    Just get it made and you’ll have my $10 :o)

  • shroud

    Just get it made and you’ll have my $10 :o)

  • shroud

    Just get it made and you’ll have my $10 :o)

  • when_electioneering

    Gears of Warhammer Vs The Scaren from Farscape? It’s shallow alright but hey shallow sells.
    This is only one of your screenplays (so far) that even has a chance of being made into something. I definately go to see this, hoping for predictability, cliches and obviously massive explosions and a token ‘headbutt the alien’.

  • when_electioneering

    Gears of Warhammer Vs The Scaren from Farscape? It’s shallow alright but hey shallow sells.
    This is only one of your screenplays (so far) that even has a chance of being made into something. I definately go to see this, hoping for predictability, cliches and obviously massive explosions and a token ‘headbutt the alien’.

  • when_electioneering

    Gears of Warhammer Vs The Scaren from Farscape? It’s shallow alright but hey shallow sells.
    This is only one of your screenplays (so far) that even has a chance of being made into something. I definately go to see this, hoping for predictability, cliches and obviously massive explosions and a token ‘headbutt the alien’.

  • when_electioneering

    Gears of Warhammer Vs The Scaren from Farscape? It’s shallow alright but hey shallow sells.
    This is only one of your screenplays (so far) that even has a chance of being made into something. I definately go to see this, hoping for predictability, cliches and obviously massive explosions and a token ‘headbutt the alien’.

  • when_electioneering

    Gears of Warhammer Vs The Scaren from Farscape? It’s shallow alright but hey shallow sells.
    This is only one of your screenplays (so far) that even has a chance of being made into something. I definately go to see this, hoping for predictability, cliches and obviously massive explosions and a token ‘headbutt the alien’.

  • when_electioneering

    Gears of Warhammer Vs The Scaren from Farscape? It’s shallow alright but hey shallow sells.
    This is only one of your screenplays (so far) that even has a chance of being made into something. I definately go to see this, hoping for predictability, cliches and obviously massive explosions and a token ‘headbutt the alien’.

  • retrogamerGarion

    Your action hero can be no one else but the ever-average-at-best Jason Stathom because who is better at selling shallow action movies then him?

  • retrogamerGarion

    Your action hero can be no one else but the ever-average-at-best Jason Stathom because who is better at selling shallow action movies then him?

  • retrogamerGarion

    Your action hero can be no one else but the ever-average-at-best Jason Stathom because who is better at selling shallow action movies then him?

  • retrogamerGarion

    Your action hero can be no one else but the ever-average-at-best Jason Stathom because who is better at selling shallow action movies then him?

  • retrogamerGarion

    Your action hero can be no one else but the ever-average-at-best Jason Stathom because who is better at selling shallow action movies then him?

  • retrogamerGarion

    Your action hero can be no one else but the ever-average-at-best Jason Stathom because who is better at selling shallow action movies then him?

  • Eric

    well I think this could be a real hit.
    and the game is already selling pretty well in its re-released form on steam.

  • Eric

    well I think this could be a real hit.
    and the game is already selling pretty well in its re-released form on steam.

  • Eric

    well I think this could be a real hit.
    and the game is already selling pretty well in its re-released form on steam.

  • Eric

    well I think this could be a real hit.
    and the game is already selling pretty well in its re-released form on steam.

  • Eric

    well I think this could be a real hit.
    and the game is already selling pretty well in its re-released form on steam.

  • Eric

    well I think this could be a real hit.
    and the game is already selling pretty well in its re-released form on steam.

  • Lydius

    Oh man you have so sold me. i loved the old x-com game played it to death. althou i never made it to space. still i liked it.

  • Lydius

    Oh man you have so sold me. i loved the old x-com game played it to death. althou i never made it to space. still i liked it.

  • Lydius

    Oh man you have so sold me. i loved the old x-com game played it to death. althou i never made it to space. still i liked it.

  • Lydius

    Oh man you have so sold me. i loved the old x-com game played it to death. althou i never made it to space. still i liked it.

  • Justin

    lobstermen? try CRAB PEOPLE

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tV5wmDhzgY8

    CRAAAAB PEOPLE CRAAAAAB PEOPLE! TASTE LIKE CRAB! LOOK LIKE PEOPLE!

  • Justin

    lobstermen? try CRAB PEOPLE

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tV5wmDhzgY8

    CRAAAAB PEOPLE CRAAAAAB PEOPLE! TASTE LIKE CRAB! LOOK LIKE PEOPLE!

  • Justin

    lobstermen? try CRAB PEOPLE

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tV5wmDhzgY8

    CRAAAAB PEOPLE CRAAAAAB PEOPLE! TASTE LIKE CRAB! LOOK LIKE PEOPLE!

  • Justin

    lobstermen? try CRAB PEOPLE

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tV5wmDhzgY8

    CRAAAAB PEOPLE CRAAAAAB PEOPLE! TASTE LIKE CRAB! LOOK LIKE PEOPLE!

  • Justin

    lobstermen? try CRAB PEOPLE

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tV5wmDhzgY8

    CRAAAAB PEOPLE CRAAAAAB PEOPLE! TASTE LIKE CRAB! LOOK LIKE PEOPLE!

  • PastaLibre

    I can see it unfold before my eyes. No, seriously! But without the budget –

    Wait, I’ve got an idea!! Just work out the script and we’ll take care of it.
    Next Evil Dead with hammy acting and aliens in blue jumpsuits… oh wait that’s Bad taste…

  • PastaLibre

    I can see it unfold before my eyes. No, seriously! But without the budget –

    Wait, I’ve got an idea!! Just work out the script and we’ll take care of it.
    Next Evil Dead with hammy acting and aliens in blue jumpsuits… oh wait that’s Bad taste…

  • PastaLibre

    I can see it unfold before my eyes. No, seriously! But without the budget –

    Wait, I’ve got an idea!! Just work out the script and we’ll take care of it.
    Next Evil Dead with hammy acting and aliens in blue jumpsuits… oh wait that’s Bad taste…

  • Busterdrag

    Fucking win. Serious, fucking win. :O

    If this gets ever made (chances are like 0,000001%) I would so watch it, buy the merchandise and make huge fanboyish posts on every forum I know.

  • Busterdrag

    Fucking win. Serious, fucking win. :O

    If this gets ever made (chances are like 0,000001%) I would so watch it, buy the merchandise and make huge fanboyish posts on every forum I know.

  • F-Valves

    Dude, you inspire me. Now I have to play X-Com again.

    Keep up with the good work! I’m very pleased with the steady flow of your Screenplays.

  • F-Valves

    Dude, you inspire me. Now I have to play X-Com again.

    Keep up with the good work! I’m very pleased with the steady flow of your Screenplays.

  • F-Valves

    Dude, you inspire me. Now I have to play X-Com again.

    Keep up with the good work! I’m very pleased with the steady flow of your Screenplays.

  • F-Valves

    Dude, you inspire me. Now I have to play X-Com again.

    Keep up with the good work! I’m very pleased with the steady flow of your Screenplays.

  • F-Valves

    Dude, you inspire me. Now I have to play X-Com again.

    Keep up with the good work! I’m very pleased with the steady flow of your Screenplays.

  • JohnDoe

    Get Jerry Bruckheimer and Michael Bay involved in this movie and you got yourself a summer blockbuster. Especially since they are specialists in making action movies with retarded plots and big fucking explosions.

  • JohnDoe

    Get Jerry Bruckheimer and Michael Bay involved in this movie and you got yourself a summer blockbuster. Especially since they are specialists in making action movies with retarded plots and big fucking explosions.

  • JohnDoe

    Get Jerry Bruckheimer and Michael Bay involved in this movie and you got yourself a summer blockbuster. Especially since they are specialists in making action movies with retarded plots and big fucking explosions.

  • JohnDoe

    Get Jerry Bruckheimer and Michael Bay involved in this movie and you got yourself a summer blockbuster. Especially since they are specialists in making action movies with retarded plots and big fucking explosions.

  • Analaya

    Hey, if Uwe Boll can get a 9 digit budget, anyone can.

  • Analaya

    Hey, if Uwe Boll can get a 9 digit budget, anyone can.

  • Analaya

    Hey, if Uwe Boll can get a 9 digit budget, anyone can.

  • Analaya

    Hey, if Uwe Boll can get a 9 digit budget, anyone can.

  • Analaya

    Hey, if Uwe Boll can get a 9 digit budget, anyone can.

  • Analaya

    Hey, if Uwe Boll can get a 9 digit budget, anyone can.

  • Mikker

    I would personally opt for something more of a lengthy TV drama, like X-Files or something. First episodes you get to know the different units and how X-Com is formed, a start-up mission that goes horribly wrong, followed by the different scenarios. In one episode you could have a rescue operation for a downed fighter, in another stealthy investigation and elimination of a landed alien UFO, the prevention of alien takeover of the US white house, a terror site in a large European city, a double-feature of destroying an alien base, retrieving alien technology sold to a terrorist organisation, aliens attacking YOUR base, capturing and interrogating an alien commander from a battleship, containing an alien breakout in a research lab… the longer the series goes, the better equipment the soldiers get, the more it is clear that aliens have the upper hand, and the more information you gather about the aliens before an epic three-four episode on Mars. I mean, this is probably the only way you will be able to correctly picture X-Com in its entirety.

  • Mikker

    I would personally opt for something more of a lengthy TV drama, like X-Files or something. First episodes you get to know the different units and how X-Com is formed, a start-up mission that goes horribly wrong, followed by the different scenarios. In one episode you could have a rescue operation for a downed fighter, in another stealthy investigation and elimination of a landed alien UFO, the prevention of alien takeover of the US white house, a terror site in a large European city, a double-feature of destroying an alien base, retrieving alien technology sold to a terrorist organisation, aliens attacking YOUR base, capturing and interrogating an alien commander from a battleship, containing an alien breakout in a research lab… the longer the series goes, the better equipment the soldiers get, the more it is clear that aliens have the upper hand, and the more information you gather about the aliens before an epic three-four episode on Mars. I mean, this is probably the only way you will be able to correctly picture X-Com in its entirety.

  • jackie

    Agreed. X-Com should me a mini-series. But not a crappy one like X-files where the main mystery is constantly interrupted with
    monsters-of-the week until the big story gets utterly fubar by the umpteenth season.

    Early episodes could play like that old “V” series from 1983, stuff could get progressively darker and finally it all ends with a kickass
    assault with Obama flying a jet and.. ok scrap that last one.

    But seriously, X-COM series which focuses on an entire invasion by following a small squad.. t’rrific.

  • jackie

    Agreed. X-Com should me a mini-series. But not a crappy one like X-files where the main mystery is constantly interrupted with
    monsters-of-the week until the big story gets utterly fubar by the umpteenth season.

    Early episodes could play like that old “V” series from 1983, stuff could get progressively darker and finally it all ends with a kickass
    assault with Obama flying a jet and.. ok scrap that last one.

    But seriously, X-COM series which focuses on an entire invasion by following a small squad.. t’rrific.

  • jackie

    Agreed. X-Com should me a mini-series. But not a crappy one like X-files where the main mystery is constantly interrupted with
    monsters-of-the week until the big story gets utterly fubar by the umpteenth season.

    Early episodes could play like that old “V” series from 1983, stuff could get progressively darker and finally it all ends with a kickass
    assault with Obama flying a jet and.. ok scrap that last one.

    But seriously, X-COM series which focuses on an entire invasion by following a small squad.. t’rrific.

  • jackie

    Agreed. X-Com should me a mini-series. But not a crappy one like X-files where the main mystery is constantly interrupted with
    monsters-of-the week until the big story gets utterly fubar by the umpteenth season.

    Early episodes could play like that old “V” series from 1983, stuff could get progressively darker and finally it all ends with a kickass
    assault with Obama flying a jet and.. ok scrap that last one.

    But seriously, X-COM series which focuses on an entire invasion by following a small squad.. t’rrific.

  • http://www.giantrobotinvasion.com/ Matt Willard

    There definitely isn’t enough psychic powers in movies.

  • http://www.giantrobotinvasion.com/ Matt Willard

    There definitely isn’t enough psychic powers in movies.

  • http://www.giantrobotinvasion.com/ Matt Willard

    There definitely isn’t enough psychic powers in movies.

  • http://www.giantrobotinvasion.com Matt Willard

    There definitely isn’t enough psychic powers in movies.

  • http://stick-sbx.blogspot.com/ Stick

    SWEET JESUS YES! My brother and I were actually thinkin of doing an X-COM parody series, either a cheaply made sprite comic, or some kind of radio theater deal. CAn you imagine all the zany shit that goes on behind the scenes? Or how uttely disgusting those alien’s innards really are? Or what would happen if the TFTD guys and the original X-com guys had some sort of hillarious bitter rivalry?

    I think i’td sell.

  • http://stick-sbx.blogspot.com/ Stick

    SWEET JESUS YES! My brother and I were actually thinkin of doing an X-COM parody series, either a cheaply made sprite comic, or some kind of radio theater deal. CAn you imagine all the zany shit that goes on behind the scenes? Or how uttely disgusting those alien’s innards really are? Or what would happen if the TFTD guys and the original X-com guys had some sort of hillarious bitter rivalry?

    I think i’td sell.

  • http://stick-sbx.blogspot.com/ Stick

    SWEET JESUS YES! My brother and I were actually thinkin of doing an X-COM parody series, either a cheaply made sprite comic, or some kind of radio theater deal. CAn you imagine all the zany shit that goes on behind the scenes? Or how uttely disgusting those alien’s innards really are? Or what would happen if the TFTD guys and the original X-com guys had some sort of hillarious bitter rivalry?

    I think i’td sell.

  • http://stick-sbx.blogspot.com/ Stick

    SWEET JESUS YES! My brother and I were actually thinkin of doing an X-COM parody series, either a cheaply made sprite comic, or some kind of radio theater deal. CAn you imagine all the zany shit that goes on behind the scenes? Or how uttely disgusting those alien’s innards really are? Or what would happen if the TFTD guys and the original X-com guys had some sort of hillarious bitter rivalry?

    I think i’td sell.

  • http://stick-sbx.blogspot.com/ Stick

    SWEET JESUS YES! My brother and I were actually thinkin of doing an X-COM parody series, either a cheaply made sprite comic, or some kind of radio theater deal. CAn you imagine all the zany shit that goes on behind the scenes? Or how uttely disgusting those alien’s innards really are? Or what would happen if the TFTD guys and the original X-com guys had some sort of hillarious bitter rivalry?

    I think i’td sell.

  • http://stick-sbx.blogspot.com Stick

    SWEET JESUS YES! My brother and I were actually thinkin of doing an X-COM parody series, either a cheaply made sprite comic, or some kind of radio theater deal. CAn you imagine all the zany shit that goes on behind the scenes? Or how uttely disgusting those alien’s innards really are? Or what would happen if the TFTD guys and the original X-com guys had some sort of hillarious bitter rivalry?

    I think i’td sell.

  • Some_Some_Smoe

    Wow! I love these blocks of boring, hackneyed internet satire! It’s like a anti-update; where the update makes you wish the person didn’t update his site at all!

    Thanks, Noah.

  • Some_Some_Smoe

    Wow! I love these blocks of boring, hackneyed internet satire! It’s like a anti-update; where the update makes you wish the person didn’t update his site at all!

    Thanks, Noah.

  • Some_Some_Smoe

    Wow! I love these blocks of boring, hackneyed internet satire! It’s like a anti-update; where the update makes you wish the person didn’t update his site at all!

    Thanks, Noah.

  • Some_Some_Smoe

    Wow! I love these blocks of boring, hackneyed internet satire! It’s like a anti-update; where the update makes you wish the person didn’t update his site at all!

    Thanks, Noah.

  • Some_Some_Smoe

    Wow! I love these blocks of boring, hackneyed internet satire! It’s like a anti-update; where the update makes you wish the person didn’t update his site at all!

    Thanks, Noah.

  • Some_Some_Smoe

    Wow! I love these blocks of boring, hackneyed internet satire! It’s like a anti-update; where the update makes you wish the person didn’t update his site at all!

    Thanks, Noah.

  • SenorPwnage

    If this movie ever got made, I would buy all the toys, the DVD, and watch it in theatres until they quit playing it. OK, so I wouldn’t buy the toys, but it sounds like a much greater compliment that way.

    Anyway, for more X-COM goodness, I have to recommend the Let’s play of X-COM Apocalypse by GuavaMoment (http://lparchive.org/LetsPlay/XCOM/). Normally I could care less for Let’s Plays, but this is one that I absolutely love.

    P.S. Please, Spoony, just go ahead and make another video update. Or explain why you aren’t making them. It’s getting rather annoying listening to one side claiming you should update however they want you to, and the other side claiming you can do no wrong.

  • SenorPwnage

    If this movie ever got made, I would buy all the toys, the DVD, and watch it in theatres until they quit playing it. OK, so I wouldn’t buy the toys, but it sounds like a much greater compliment that way.

    Anyway, for more X-COM goodness, I have to recommend the Let’s play of X-COM Apocalypse by GuavaMoment (http://lparchive.org/LetsPlay/XCOM/). Normally I could care less for Let’s Plays, but this is one that I absolutely love.

    P.S. Please, Spoony, just go ahead and make another video update. Or explain why you aren’t making them. It’s getting rather annoying listening to one side claiming you should update however they want you to, and the other side claiming you can do no wrong.

  • Toby Wan Kenobi

    Best. Movie. Ever.

    You win at ideas.

  • Toby Wan Kenobi

    Best. Movie. Ever.

    You win at ideas.

  • Toby Wan Kenobi

    Best. Movie. Ever.

    You win at ideas.

  • Toby Wan Kenobi

    Best. Movie. Ever.

    You win at ideas.

  • Toby Wan Kenobi

    Best. Movie. Ever.

    You win at ideas.

  • groskino

    i played x-com: enemy unknown, on the amiga 1200. twelve years ago. it was just an awesome game.

  • groskino

    i played x-com: enemy unknown, on the amiga 1200. twelve years ago. it was just an awesome game.

  • groskino

    i played x-com: enemy unknown, on the amiga 1200. twelve years ago. it was just an awesome game.

  • groskino

    i played x-com: enemy unknown, on the amiga 1200. twelve years ago. it was just an awesome game.

  • groskino

    i played x-com: enemy unknown, on the amiga 1200. twelve years ago. it was just an awesome game.

  • Memmy

    ‘Fucking Blaster Bombs’ is three words, my dear Spoony

  • Memmy

    ‘Fucking Blaster Bombs’ is three words, my dear Spoony

  • Memmy

    ‘Fucking Blaster Bombs’ is three words, my dear Spoony

  • meanmanturbo

    Well, remember the first rule of X-com combat….when finding the enemy is hiding, rookies are cheaper then weapon platforms

  • meanmanturbo

    Well, remember the first rule of X-com combat….when finding the enemy is hiding, rookies are cheaper then weapon platforms

  • meanmanturbo

    Well, remember the first rule of X-com combat….when finding the enemy is hiding, rookies are cheaper then weapon platforms

  • meanmanturbo

    Well, remember the first rule of X-com combat….when finding the enemy is hiding, rookies are cheaper then weapon platforms

  • meanmanturbo

    Well, remember the first rule of X-com combat….when finding the enemy is hiding, rookies are cheaper then weapon platforms

  • meanmanturbo

    Well, remember the first rule of X-com combat….when finding the enemy is hiding, rookies are cheaper then weapon platforms

  • meanmanturbo

    Oh! And a good plot hook would be one of the main characters later findning out that his psi.defence is so weak that he becomes a liablility;)

  • meanmanturbo

    Oh! And a good plot hook would be one of the main characters later findning out that his psi.defence is so weak that he becomes a liablility;)

  • meanmanturbo

    Oh! And a good plot hook would be one of the main characters later findning out that his psi.defence is so weak that he becomes a liablility;)

  • meanmanturbo

    Oh! And a good plot hook would be one of the main characters later findning out that his psi.defence is so weak that he becomes a liablility;)

  • meanmanturbo

    Oh! And a good plot hook would be one of the main characters later findning out that his psi.defence is so weak that he becomes a liablility;)

  • meanmanturbo

    Oh! And a good plot hook would be one of the main characters later findning out that his psi.defence is so weak that he becomes a liablility;)

  • Zach Wilkins

    This movie would do okay if you get it done right and out tactically. The Nintendo screenplay was terrible, though. 2/3 Spoony. Better than you thought, eh?

  • Zach Wilkins

    This movie would do okay if you get it done right and out tactically. The Nintendo screenplay was terrible, though. 2/3 Spoony. Better than you thought, eh?

  • Zach Wilkins

    This movie would do okay if you get it done right and out tactically. The Nintendo screenplay was terrible, though. 2/3 Spoony. Better than you thought, eh?

  • Anonymous

    I haven’t played the X-COM series. Is it any good?

  • Anonymous

    I haven’t played the X-COM series. Is it any good?

  • Anonymous

    I haven’t played the X-COM series. Is it any good?

  • mflorian

    I haven’t played the X-COM series. Is it any good?

  • Anonymous

    Okay, it probably is. Be nice, people.

  • Anonymous

    Okay, it probably is. Be nice, people.

  • Anonymous

    Okay, it probably is. Be nice, people.

  • Anonymous

    Okay, it probably is. Be nice, people.

  • Anonymous

    Okay, it probably is. Be nice, people.

  • mflorian

    Okay, it probably is. Be nice, people.

  • Tai MT

    Again with all the idiot fanboys… Hum… I’m starting to sound like a broken record and so are they. Seriously people, find something more to do with your life than wait for spoony to post a new video. Watch a REAL movie or something. I don’t know, jerk off. ANYTHING more constructive than being a whiny pissant.

    In any case, I’ve heard about X-Com but never played it. And never wanted to try, because I’ve heard that if you make mistakes, the world basically ends and there’s no way to salvage the game without a complete reboot.

    I like a bit more leeway in my games than that.

    As for whether or not I’d see the movie…

    I don’t know. I don’t watch movies much these days, they’re all pretty dull. And the theater experience isn’t that great either.

  • Tai MT

    Again with all the idiot fanboys… Hum… I’m starting to sound like a broken record and so are they. Seriously people, find something more to do with your life than wait for spoony to post a new video. Watch a REAL movie or something. I don’t know, jerk off. ANYTHING more constructive than being a whiny pissant.

    In any case, I’ve heard about X-Com but never played it. And never wanted to try, because I’ve heard that if you make mistakes, the world basically ends and there’s no way to salvage the game without a complete reboot.

    I like a bit more leeway in my games than that.

    As for whether or not I’d see the movie…

    I don’t know. I don’t watch movies much these days, they’re all pretty dull. And the theater experience isn’t that great either.

  • Shygetz

    Too much meat for a feature, but damn would it make a great BSG-style mini-to-full length series.

  • Shygetz

    Too much meat for a feature, but damn would it make a great BSG-style mini-to-full length series.

  • Shygetz

    Too much meat for a feature, but damn would it make a great BSG-style mini-to-full length series.

  • Shygetz

    Too much meat for a feature, but damn would it make a great BSG-style mini-to-full length series.

  • Shygetz

    Too much meat for a feature, but damn would it make a great BSG-style mini-to-full length series.

  • Shygetz

    Too much meat for a feature, but damn would it make a great BSG-style mini-to-full length series.

  • Namewithheld

    Spoony, do you know what is really fun?

    Play X-com and keep notes of what happens. As you do so, a story will form up into a gripping narrative. Go through and write it, and BAM!

    You’ve got an award winning military sci-fi action thriller novel on your hands!

    I should try that again…I always give up halfway through, due to me being really really bad at the game…

  • Namewithheld

    Spoony, do you know what is really fun?

    Play X-com and keep notes of what happens. As you do so, a story will form up into a gripping narrative. Go through and write it, and BAM!

    You’ve got an award winning military sci-fi action thriller novel on your hands!

    I should try that again…I always give up halfway through, due to me being really really bad at the game…

  • http://lurkerwithout.livejournal.com/ LurkerWithout

    You had me at “X-Com”. But this should actually be a television series. Lets show this BSG emo wussies what REAL SciFi War is all about…

  • http://lurkerwithout.livejournal.com/ LurkerWithout

    You had me at “X-Com”. But this should actually be a television series. Lets show this BSG emo wussies what REAL SciFi War is all about…

  • http://lurkerwithout.livejournal.com/ LurkerWithout

    You had me at “X-Com”. But this should actually be a television series. Lets show this BSG emo wussies what REAL SciFi War is all about…

  • http://lurkerwithout.livejournal.com/ LurkerWithout

    You had me at “X-Com”. But this should actually be a television series. Lets show this BSG emo wussies what REAL SciFi War is all about…

  • http://lurkerwithout.livejournal.com/ LurkerWithout

    You had me at “X-Com”. But this should actually be a television series. Lets show this BSG emo wussies what REAL SciFi War is all about…

  • http://lurkerwithout.livejournal.com LurkerWithout

    You had me at “X-Com”. But this should actually be a television series. Lets show this BSG emo wussies what REAL SciFi War is all about…

  • King of Cats

    Ya know, I would totally dig this as a movie, but I’d dig it more as a series. That way you wouldn’t have to condense everything into a two hour movie. It could be like Battlestar Galactica mixed with Starship Troopers mixed with Dawn of the Dead mixed with… sheer pure unbridled awesome.

  • King of Cats

    Ya know, I would totally dig this as a movie, but I’d dig it more as a series. That way you wouldn’t have to condense everything into a two hour movie. It could be like Battlestar Galactica mixed with Starship Troopers mixed with Dawn of the Dead mixed with… sheer pure unbridled awesome.

  • King of Cats

    Ya know, I would totally dig this as a movie, but I’d dig it more as a series. That way you wouldn’t have to condense everything into a two hour movie. It could be like Battlestar Galactica mixed with Starship Troopers mixed with Dawn of the Dead mixed with… sheer pure unbridled awesome.

  • King of Cats

    Ya know, I would totally dig this as a movie, but I’d dig it more as a series. That way you wouldn’t have to condense everything into a two hour movie. It could be like Battlestar Galactica mixed with Starship Troopers mixed with Dawn of the Dead mixed with… sheer pure unbridled awesome.

  • King of Cats

    Ya know, I would totally dig this as a movie, but I’d dig it more as a series. That way you wouldn’t have to condense everything into a two hour movie. It could be like Battlestar Galactica mixed with Starship Troopers mixed with Dawn of the Dead mixed with… sheer pure unbridled awesome.

  • King of Cats

    Ya know, I would totally dig this as a movie, but I’d dig it more as a series. That way you wouldn’t have to condense everything into a two hour movie. It could be like Battlestar Galactica mixed with Starship Troopers mixed with Dawn of the Dead mixed with… sheer pure unbridled awesome.

  • ROFL

    Why don’t you make your next screen play about you getting your ass kicked! That’s what we all want to hear about!

  • ROFL

    Why don’t you make your next screen play about you getting your ass kicked! That’s what we all want to hear about!

  • ROFL

    Why don’t you make your next screen play about you getting your ass kicked! That’s what we all want to hear about!

  • ROFL

    Why don’t you make your next screen play about you getting your ass kicked! That’s what we all want to hear about!

  • ROFL

    Why don’t you make your next screen play about you getting your ass kicked! That’s what we all want to hear about!

  • Bob

    Come on Spoony. You have three discs left. Ignoring them is not going to make them go away.

  • Bob

    Come on Spoony. You have three discs left. Ignoring them is not going to make them go away.

  • Bob

    Come on Spoony. You have three discs left. Ignoring them is not going to make them go away.

  • Bob

    Come on Spoony. You have three discs left. Ignoring them is not going to make them go away.

  • Bob

    Come on Spoony. You have three discs left. Ignoring them is not going to make them go away.

  • Bob

    Come on Spoony. You have three discs left. Ignoring them is not going to make them go away.

  • ppdr

    The spooky thing is that I was just playing Xcom.

    Imagine how surreal things like Ethereals would be as they mind control your squad one by one in real-time.

  • ppdr

    The spooky thing is that I was just playing Xcom.

    Imagine how surreal things like Ethereals would be as they mind control your squad one by one in real-time.

  • ppdr

    The spooky thing is that I was just playing Xcom.

    Imagine how surreal things like Ethereals would be as they mind control your squad one by one in real-time.

  • ppdr

    The spooky thing is that I was just playing Xcom.

    Imagine how surreal things like Ethereals would be as they mind control your squad one by one in real-time.

  • ppdr

    The spooky thing is that I was just playing Xcom.

    Imagine how surreal things like Ethereals would be as they mind control your squad one by one in real-time.

  • GamesAreARt

    Thats three words

  • GamesAreARt

    Thats three words

  • GamesAreARt

    Thats three words

  • GamesAreARt

    Thats three words

  • GamesAreARt

    Thats three words

  • GamesAreARt

    Thats three words

  • Fanatic

    Three words : BUY ME THAT!

  • Fanatic

    Three words : BUY ME THAT!

  • Fanatic

    Three words : BUY ME THAT!

  • Fanatic

    Three words : BUY ME THAT!

  • SpoonyNews

    i heard spoony is never going to make a video review again because he got his heart broken by a girl

  • SpoonyNews

    i heard spoony is never going to make a video review again because he got his heart broken by a girl

  • SpoonyNews

    i heard spoony is never going to make a video review again because he got his heart broken by a girl

  • Matt

    If u pitched this idea to Hollywood u would be forcibly removed from the studio and 6 moths later X:coms directed by Michal Bay will hit cinemas
    and hay, i would pay to see it :P

  • Matt

    If u pitched this idea to Hollywood u would be forcibly removed from the studio and 6 moths later X:coms directed by Michal Bay will hit cinemas
    and hay, i would pay to see it :P

  • Matt

    If u pitched this idea to Hollywood u would be forcibly removed from the studio and 6 moths later X:coms directed by Michal Bay will hit cinemas
    and hay, i would pay to see it :P

  • Matt

    If u pitched this idea to Hollywood u would be forcibly removed from the studio and 6 moths later X:coms directed by Michal Bay will hit cinemas
    and hay, i would pay to see it :P

  • Matt

    If u pitched this idea to Hollywood u would be forcibly removed from the studio and 6 moths later X:coms directed by Michal Bay will hit cinemas
    and hay, i would pay to see it :P

  • Garden of Sound

    That sounds a little like Transformers the Movie. Even more so if Optimus and Friends hadn’t butted in.

  • Garden of Sound

    That sounds a little like Transformers the Movie. Even more so if Optimus and Friends hadn’t butted in.

  • Garden of Sound

    That sounds a little like Transformers the Movie. Even more so if Optimus and Friends hadn’t butted in.

  • Garden of Sound

    That sounds a little like Transformers the Movie. Even more so if Optimus and Friends hadn’t butted in.

  • VR

    This is the first time I will have requested this, but less blogs, more video please. Preferably SWAT 4.

  • VR

    This is the first time I will have requested this, but less blogs, more video please. Preferably SWAT 4.

  • VR

    This is the first time I will have requested this, but less blogs, more video please. Preferably SWAT 4.

  • VR

    This is the first time I will have requested this, but less blogs, more video please. Preferably SWAT 4.

  • Remnant

    ..sounds to me like a wrap-up of the entire Star Wars: New Jedi Order series.

    That shit was win, in the last few books. Just off the chain.

  • Remnant

    ..sounds to me like a wrap-up of the entire Star Wars: New Jedi Order series.

    That shit was win, in the last few books. Just off the chain.

  • Remnant

    ..sounds to me like a wrap-up of the entire Star Wars: New Jedi Order series.

    That shit was win, in the last few books. Just off the chain.

  • Remnant

    ..sounds to me like a wrap-up of the entire Star Wars: New Jedi Order series.

    That shit was win, in the last few books. Just off the chain.

  • Remnant

    ..sounds to me like a wrap-up of the entire Star Wars: New Jedi Order series.

    That shit was win, in the last few books. Just off the chain.

  • Remnant

    ..sounds to me like a wrap-up of the entire Star Wars: New Jedi Order series.

    That shit was win, in the last few books. Just off the chain.

  • andrew

    that first line, “get me michael bay” just killed me! sooo funny

  • andrew

    that first line, “get me michael bay” just killed me! sooo funny

  • andrew

    that first line, “get me michael bay” just killed me! sooo funny

  • sciencemile

    Thank you very much for the Blog Updates, Spoony. Your writings are just as entertaining as your vids, if not more. It’s kind of a tough call :P. Ignore the impatient people, they’re usually the ones who whine about not liking the vids anyways. Doing what you want to do tends to produce higher quality stuff than doing something because you feel you have to do it.

  • sciencemile

    Thank you very much for the Blog Updates, Spoony. Your writings are just as entertaining as your vids, if not more. It’s kind of a tough call :P. Ignore the impatient people, they’re usually the ones who whine about not liking the vids anyways. Doing what you want to do tends to produce higher quality stuff than doing something because you feel you have to do it.

  • sciencemile

    Thank you very much for the Blog Updates, Spoony. Your writings are just as entertaining as your vids, if not more. It’s kind of a tough call :P. Ignore the impatient people, they’re usually the ones who whine about not liking the vids anyways. Doing what you want to do tends to produce higher quality stuff than doing something because you feel you have to do it.

  • sciencemile

    Thank you very much for the Blog Updates, Spoony. Your writings are just as entertaining as your vids, if not more. It’s kind of a tough call :P. Ignore the impatient people, they’re usually the ones who whine about not liking the vids anyways. Doing what you want to do tends to produce higher quality stuff than doing something because you feel you have to do it.

  • sciencemile

    Thank you very much for the Blog Updates, Spoony. Your writings are just as entertaining as your vids, if not more. It’s kind of a tough call :P. Ignore the impatient people, they’re usually the ones who whine about not liking the vids anyways. Doing what you want to do tends to produce higher quality stuff than doing something because you feel you have to do it.

  • sciencemile

    Thank you very much for the Blog Updates, Spoony. Your writings are just as entertaining as your vids, if not more. It’s kind of a tough call :P. Ignore the impatient people, they’re usually the ones who whine about not liking the vids anyways. Doing what you want to do tends to produce higher quality stuff than doing something because you feel you have to do it.

  • Deaths Head 419

    I don’t get it. Evey time he posts one of these “Reasons I Shouldn’t Write X”, he seems to be proving that he’s more than capable of writing X. Seriously Spoonyone, your ideas KICK ASS.

  • Deaths Head 419

    I don’t get it. Evey time he posts one of these “Reasons I Shouldn’t Write X”, he seems to be proving that he’s more than capable of writing X. Seriously Spoonyone, your ideas KICK ASS.

  • Deaths Head 419

    I don’t get it. Evey time he posts one of these “Reasons I Shouldn’t Write X”, he seems to be proving that he’s more than capable of writing X. Seriously Spoonyone, your ideas KICK ASS.

  • Deaths Head 419

    I don’t get it. Evey time he posts one of these “Reasons I Shouldn’t Write X”, he seems to be proving that he’s more than capable of writing X. Seriously Spoonyone, your ideas KICK ASS.

  • Deaths Head 419

    I don’t get it. Evey time he posts one of these “Reasons I Shouldn’t Write X”, he seems to be proving that he’s more than capable of writing X. Seriously Spoonyone, your ideas KICK ASS.

  • Deaths Head 419

    I don’t get it. Evey time he posts one of these “Reasons I Shouldn’t Write X”, he seems to be proving that he’s more than capable of writing X. Seriously Spoonyone, your ideas KICK ASS.

  • Xile
  • Xile
  • Xile
  • Xile
  • Xile
  • Xile
  • aaa

    @Xile: I second that. It gets really good when Soup-bot joins the team.

  • aaa

    @Xile: I second that. It gets really good when Soup-bot joins the team.

  • aaa

    @Xile: I second that. It gets really good when Soup-bot joins the team.

  • aaa

    @Xile: I second that. It gets really good when Soup-bot joins the team.

  • aaa

    @Xile: I second that. It gets really good when Soup-bot joins the team.

  • aaa

    @Xile: I second that. It gets really good when Soup-bot joins the team.

  • niso

    For some reason this idea reminded me of the new Battlestar Galactica (compliment)

  • niso

    For some reason this idea reminded me of the new Battlestar Galactica (compliment)

  • niso

    For some reason this idea reminded me of the new Battlestar Galactica (compliment)

  • niso

    For some reason this idea reminded me of the new Battlestar Galactica (compliment)

  • niso

    For some reason this idea reminded me of the new Battlestar Galactica (compliment)

  • niso

    For some reason this idea reminded me of the new Battlestar Galactica (compliment)

  • Littlenorwegians

    I haven’t really read these screenplays, but just glanced. I know Spoony is a man with some great ideas, but I don’t like to read them, which is weird for I’ve actually read entire books on computers. So much that my eyes turned red.

    Not going to criticize about the lack of video updateds. I know it takes time, but I’m not reading these either.

  • Littlenorwegians

    I haven’t really read these screenplays, but just glanced. I know Spoony is a man with some great ideas, but I don’t like to read them, which is weird for I’ve actually read entire books on computers. So much that my eyes turned red.

    Not going to criticize about the lack of video updateds. I know it takes time, but I’m not reading these either.

  • Littlenorwegians

    I haven’t really read these screenplays, but just glanced. I know Spoony is a man with some great ideas, but I don’t like to read them, which is weird for I’ve actually read entire books on computers. So much that my eyes turned red.

    Not going to criticize about the lack of video updateds. I know it takes time, but I’m not reading these either.

  • Symphony

    …yeah I’d go see this.

  • Symphony

    …yeah I’d go see this.

  • Symphony

    …yeah I’d go see this.

  • Symphony

    …yeah I’d go see this.

  • Symphony

    …yeah I’d go see this.

  • Symphony

    …yeah I’d go see this.

  • JohnDoe

    You’re twitter comment made me laugh outloud, maybe you should have the whiners flayed?

  • JohnDoe

    You’re twitter comment made me laugh outloud, maybe you should have the whiners flayed?

  • DamonD

    Throw in the girls in purple wigs and shiny silver spacesuits, and you’ve got a deal.

  • DamonD

    Throw in the girls in purple wigs and shiny silver spacesuits, and you’ve got a deal.

  • DamonD

    Throw in the girls in purple wigs and shiny silver spacesuits, and you’ve got a deal.

  • DamonD

    Throw in the girls in purple wigs and shiny silver spacesuits, and you’ve got a deal.

  • DamonD

    Throw in the girls in purple wigs and shiny silver spacesuits, and you’ve got a deal.

  • Anonymous

    I can understand you about some of the posters, Spoony. It’s like they got a free plate of ribs and said “What? No coleslaw?”

  • mflorian

    I can understand you about some of the posters, Spoony. It’s like they got a free plate of ribs and said “What? No coleslaw?”

  • Casualty

    Noah, damnit, you’re pure gold for thinking up something like this! The X-Com games were my fucking CHILDHOOD! And the idea of one of the dudes blowing up an alien badass-style (no pun intended) with the Blaster is just orgasmically delicious to picture! It was already triumphant to get that thing in the game, let alone see an action movie use it with full effects!

    Damn the industry if they could actually fuck up something as purely made of awesome as X-Com! They’d have to be tremendously gifted in the art of “can’t-do-shit” to mess up something like that!

  • Casualty

    Noah, damnit, you’re pure gold for thinking up something like this! The X-Com games were my fucking CHILDHOOD! And the idea of one of the dudes blowing up an alien badass-style (no pun intended) with the Blaster is just orgasmically delicious to picture! It was already triumphant to get that thing in the game, let alone see an action movie use it with full effects!

    Damn the industry if they could actually fuck up something as purely made of awesome as X-Com! They’d have to be tremendously gifted in the art of “can’t-do-shit” to mess up something like that!

  • Casualty

    Noah, damnit, you’re pure gold for thinking up something like this! The X-Com games were my fucking CHILDHOOD! And the idea of one of the dudes blowing up an alien badass-style (no pun intended) with the Blaster is just orgasmically delicious to picture! It was already triumphant to get that thing in the game, let alone see an action movie use it with full effects!

    Damn the industry if they could actually fuck up something as purely made of awesome as X-Com! They’d have to be tremendously gifted in the art of “can’t-do-shit” to mess up something like that!

  • medusa

    Wouldn’t it be crazy if some hollywood director in search of next summer’s blockbuster was cruisin’ the web and stumbled on this little gem of a script? And then that director contacted you and you made millions? I can see that happening. But apparently you’ll be kidnapped by some of your crazy fans and taken to a secret lair with a room full of terrible games and movies and a video camera, because there are apparently people like that out there.

    Oh, such is the life of a celebrity, no?

  • medusa

    Wouldn’t it be crazy if some hollywood director in search of next summer’s blockbuster was cruisin’ the web and stumbled on this little gem of a script? And then that director contacted you and you made millions? I can see that happening. But apparently you’ll be kidnapped by some of your crazy fans and taken to a secret lair with a room full of terrible games and movies and a video camera, because there are apparently people like that out there.

    Oh, such is the life of a celebrity, no?

  • medusa

    Wouldn’t it be crazy if some hollywood director in search of next summer’s blockbuster was cruisin’ the web and stumbled on this little gem of a script? And then that director contacted you and you made millions? I can see that happening. But apparently you’ll be kidnapped by some of your crazy fans and taken to a secret lair with a room full of terrible games and movies and a video camera, because there are apparently people like that out there.

    Oh, such is the life of a celebrity, no?

  • medusa

    Wouldn’t it be crazy if some hollywood director in search of next summer’s blockbuster was cruisin’ the web and stumbled on this little gem of a script? And then that director contacted you and you made millions? I can see that happening. But apparently you’ll be kidnapped by some of your crazy fans and taken to a secret lair with a room full of terrible games and movies and a video camera, because there are apparently people like that out there.

    Oh, such is the life of a celebrity, no?

  • preston

    wow video request are a bit high like a kite

  • preston

    wow video request are a bit high like a kite

  • preston

    wow video request are a bit high like a kite

  • preston

    wow video request are a bit high like a kite

  • preston

    wow video request are a bit high like a kite

  • preston

    wow video request are a bit high like a kite

  • Goldstubble

    You assholes whining about more videos need to shut the hell up. Spoony doesn’t live for your amusement and he sure as hell doesn’t have to care about your back-sassing asses. Tell you what, how about YOU guys make quality material, post it on your own personally funded (and created) site, and amass a huge fanbase. THEN you’ll have a reason to complain, but you won’t be complaining at spoony anymore… You’ll have your own whiney-ass fans to do that to.

  • Goldstubble

    You assholes whining about more videos need to shut the hell up. Spoony doesn’t live for your amusement and he sure as hell doesn’t have to care about your back-sassing asses. Tell you what, how about YOU guys make quality material, post it on your own personally funded (and created) site, and amass a huge fanbase. THEN you’ll have a reason to complain, but you won’t be complaining at spoony anymore… You’ll have your own whiney-ass fans to do that to.

  • Goldstubble

    You assholes whining about more videos need to shut the hell up. Spoony doesn’t live for your amusement and he sure as hell doesn’t have to care about your back-sassing asses. Tell you what, how about YOU guys make quality material, post it on your own personally funded (and created) site, and amass a huge fanbase. THEN you’ll have a reason to complain, but you won’t be complaining at spoony anymore… You’ll have your own whiney-ass fans to do that to.

  • Shygetz

    Dear wherearethevideos,

    We here at The Spoony Experiment are terribly sorry that you have found our recent content not suited to your tastes, requiring more reading skills than you are comfortable with. As compensation, please accept a full and complete refund of your price of admission, along with a complementary bag of dicks for your dining pleasure.

    Sincerely,

    The Management

  • Shygetz

    Dear wherearethevideos,

    We here at The Spoony Experiment are terribly sorry that you have found our recent content not suited to your tastes, requiring more reading skills than you are comfortable with. As compensation, please accept a full and complete refund of your price of admission, along with a complementary bag of dicks for your dining pleasure.

    Sincerely,

    The Management

  • Shygetz

    Dear wherearethevideos,

    We here at The Spoony Experiment are terribly sorry that you have found our recent content not suited to your tastes, requiring more reading skills than you are comfortable with. As compensation, please accept a full and complete refund of your price of admission, along with a complementary bag of dicks for your dining pleasure.

    Sincerely,

    The Management

  • communismfairy

    you know, thats not such a bad idea. but what about Xcom UFO defense? What role would that play in the mix Imagining those bases on screen is just awesome and the movie needs some kind of guy in the background who for most of the movie seems to have a plan but is ultimately outwitted by the aliens leaving it up to the hero to save the day. Add that in and you’ve got a movie!

  • communismfairy

    you know, thats not such a bad idea. but what about Xcom UFO defense? What role would that play in the mix Imagining those bases on screen is just awesome and the movie needs some kind of guy in the background who for most of the movie seems to have a plan but is ultimately outwitted by the aliens leaving it up to the hero to save the day. Add that in and you’ve got a movie!

  • communismfairy

    you know, thats not such a bad idea. but what about Xcom UFO defense? What role would that play in the mix Imagining those bases on screen is just awesome and the movie needs some kind of guy in the background who for most of the movie seems to have a plan but is ultimately outwitted by the aliens leaving it up to the hero to save the day. Add that in and you’ve got a movie!

  • nosferatuxizzy

    …………………..seriously, dude. That sounds like a really awesome idea. You should be writing screen plays. The crazier the better.

  • nosferatuxizzy

    …………………..seriously, dude. That sounds like a really awesome idea. You should be writing screen plays. The crazier the better.

  • nosferatuxizzy

    …………………..seriously, dude. That sounds like a really awesome idea. You should be writing screen plays. The crazier the better.

  • nosferatuxizzy

    …………………..seriously, dude. That sounds like a really awesome idea. You should be writing screen plays. The crazier the better.

  • nosferatuxizzy

    …………………..seriously, dude. That sounds like a really awesome idea. You should be writing screen plays. The crazier the better.

  • http://www.kekkai.org/google/ Googleshng

    See, here’s one horrible catch here. You could write this screenplay, do everything right, and then who would they pick to direct it? One of these modern action directors who are so completely in love with shakey-cams that all the scenes of people kicking down doors, running in, and finding snakemen hiding behind couches with grenades primed and ready are just a big blurry marine leg and shag carpeting. Shame really.

  • http://www.kekkai.org/google/ Googleshng

    See, here’s one horrible catch here. You could write this screenplay, do everything right, and then who would they pick to direct it? One of these modern action directors who are so completely in love with shakey-cams that all the scenes of people kicking down doors, running in, and finding snakemen hiding behind couches with grenades primed and ready are just a big blurry marine leg and shag carpeting. Shame really.

  • http://www.kekkai.org/google/ Googleshng

    See, here’s one horrible catch here. You could write this screenplay, do everything right, and then who would they pick to direct it? One of these modern action directors who are so completely in love with shakey-cams that all the scenes of people kicking down doors, running in, and finding snakemen hiding behind couches with grenades primed and ready are just a big blurry marine leg and shag carpeting. Shame really.

  • http://www.kekkai.org/google/ Googleshng

    See, here’s one horrible catch here. You could write this screenplay, do everything right, and then who would they pick to direct it? One of these modern action directors who are so completely in love with shakey-cams that all the scenes of people kicking down doors, running in, and finding snakemen hiding behind couches with grenades primed and ready are just a big blurry marine leg and shag carpeting. Shame really.

  • http://www.kekkai.org/google/ Googleshng

    See, here’s one horrible catch here. You could write this screenplay, do everything right, and then who would they pick to direct it? One of these modern action directors who are so completely in love with shakey-cams that all the scenes of people kicking down doors, running in, and finding snakemen hiding behind couches with grenades primed and ready are just a big blurry marine leg and shag carpeting. Shame really.

  • JasonD

    btw nice editing work, I see most of the irate post from people upset with the lack of content are missing. Yeah, now that’s how you do it. Good work people love censorship. What is this site funded by the Government?

  • JasonD

    btw nice editing work, I see most of the irate post from people upset with the lack of content are missing. Yeah, now that’s how you do it. Good work people love censorship. What is this site funded by the Government?

  • http://www.myspace.com/pvtcaboose-1 pvtcaboose

    Um, I think Michael Bay would make this movie…. I really do lol, he would find a way to fuck it up i mean HOW DO U FUCK UP TRANSFORMERS??!?!? ITS GIANT ROBOT CARS FIGHTING EACH OTHER, HOW TO U MESS THAT UP!?!?!?!?!?! but he would so agree to do it or OMG um Uva Bolle? lol video game movies and that shit heh heh

  • http://www.myspace.com/pvtcaboose-1 pvtcaboose

    Um, I think Michael Bay would make this movie…. I really do lol, he would find a way to fuck it up i mean HOW DO U FUCK UP TRANSFORMERS??!?!? ITS GIANT ROBOT CARS FIGHTING EACH OTHER, HOW TO U MESS THAT UP!?!?!?!?!?! but he would so agree to do it or OMG um Uva Bolle? lol video game movies and that shit heh heh

  • http://www.myspace.com/pvtcaboose-1 pvtcaboose

    Um, I think Michael Bay would make this movie…. I really do lol, he would find a way to fuck it up i mean HOW DO U FUCK UP TRANSFORMERS??!?!? ITS GIANT ROBOT CARS FIGHTING EACH OTHER, HOW TO U MESS THAT UP!?!?!?!?!?! but he would so agree to do it or OMG um Uva Bolle? lol video game movies and that shit heh heh

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ernest-Bohr/100001640635802 Ernest Bohr

    Battle: Los Angeles had parts of this, specifically army dudes wrecking alien shit. If they would have cut off the aliens’ arm-guns and used them, it would have been a slam-bang action hit.

  • f f

    Sounds fun but it also sounds like Noah’s incapable of original thought. He says it needn’t be horror then says there’s room for horror at the start b/c of the game. He says it doesn’t need the normal action movie cliches than lists a bunch of action movie cliches like corporations wanting the tech (District 9 did it better). He says it’ll focus on action than talks about the marines needing their character sub-plots. 

    Something that really hasn’t been touched on in a proper action movie is stress due to violence. I don’t mean some bitch movie all about dealing with shellshock after the main character came home. I mean the guys from X-com could have night terrors, some wake up screaming (it becomes worse over the course of the movie) and none of them talk about it. One of the guys may see a kid he found in a building and was escorting to safety killed in front of him. He could have an arc where he’s never quite levelheaded around that type of alien afterwards. One time he freezes while his squadmates shoot. Another time he goes off and empties his clip at full auto. His story arch would be finding the internal strength to get it together and keep his cool knowing they’re going in to kill a whole group of these dudes. 
    You could also deal with sacrifice. Not surprise last-minute I’ll-blow-everything-up sacrifice or “it’s a suicide mission” but they all survive. The whole movie could be an ensemble piece. One of the squads we follow could be sent on what they know is a suicide mission to gather intel. They all make their peace and go in grimly, fighting to the last man, getting as far in as they can while they’re shredded. 

    There could also be moral ambiguity. We could see the same gruff commander we’ve grown to like over the course of the movie send in a wetworks team to kill townsfolks, women and children all, b/c some of the town’s known to be under alien control. It may bite them in the ass as a escapee of the attack who witnesses it from a hill-top believes the aliens are some work of the government they’re trying to keep under wraps. This leads to human attacks on x-com’s base that’re woefully underpowered. Yet the morality flips again when the medically examined survivor turns out to’ve been filled with such a zealous hatred of x-com b/c of partial alien control.

  • exploda

    I don’t watch explosion movies or superhero movies because they really are just that, movies with explosions in them, they pretty much show everything in the trailer.  Movies are too much like video games and vice versa nowadays WITHOUT even being video game movies, and of course those all suck. 

    All the Oscar worthy movies NEVER show on theaters in my town but there will be like 5 theaters showing the same Transformers or some other meatheaded violence fest with a grey color pallet and cars. 

    All swordy action movies are corny ass CG fests set in the antiquity or are in fact another shitty video game movie, *cough (Dungeon Siege).  They never pass the Bechdel test, they never get good awards, and I think they are fucking boring, at least just the ones whose sole premise is the promise of glass shattering, gun blasting, explosion having, and of course the penis fest with the exception of the near universal hot chick with a gun whose sole purpose is fucking the main character and killing people.

    Action movies are just way too stupid to analyze or take seriously.

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