Noah & Miles return after After Earth, shellshocked at what they’ve seen. Bennett the Sage joins them via Skype for moral support. Also guest starring the Kraken, Pina Coladas, and Johnny Walker.
This video is not good.
RIPD is based on a comic book that isn’t very much like MIB. Maybe the movie will be, I dunno, but your argument re: originality of RIPD is invalid.
Will Smith buys his son fucking movie roles. My dad can’t even buy me new fucking pants.
Oh Gods Spoony, get some sleep. You look more tired then me after a one girl orgy. Not that I would know….
Also, more booze. I can’t drink alone. *chugs the Kraken.*
What’s a one girl orgy?
First guess would be an orgy with one girl and multiple guys.
I would tell you all, but I’m not that kind of thief.
It’s kinda like a one man orgy, but with a girl. So it likely involves a lot of cloning, or maybe mirrors, definitely lube and dragon dildos, though
Color me intrigued!
Yes it sucked, it’s M. Night Shyamalan so what else? Now go watch OBLIVION it was pretty good!
Agreed! If you can still catch in theater, go see it NOW! Oblivion is awesome! It’s visually amazing and the story will keep you hooked the whole way through.
I think you guys stumbled upon the best drinking game ever. Sit around and make up names for the various possible Rage family members. Starting with A and end ending with Z.
Clearly they’re descended from Nick Fury. Their family had to change their name when they emigrated.
Will smith always has a scene of being tired and waking up.
Independence day, I-robot, I Am Legend (probably)…
I paused the video and immediately looked up RIPD…yeah, it can go to Hell for the whole MIB clone thing (and I’m not even a fan of MIB), but the moment Jeff Bridges stepped in…as Revolver Ocelot! Yeah, from that moment I was laughing like an idiot through the rest of the trailer.
I’m sure the movie will suck, I probably won’t even see it in theaters, but I am now curious about it just for Bridges Ocelot. What can I say, I’m a Dude-Whore (and a Hong-Whore. Mmmmm, Lo-Pan!), but I don’t want to be “that guy”, so I’m still cautious as Hell. But I have to admit, all the Bridges stuff just really 180′d my attitude toward the trailer like the flip of a coin; from “what the FUCK is THIS shit?!” to maniacal laughter.
But Niles has the right idea: give us Bridges and Tommy Lee Jones together! It could be a cowboy version of The Fugitive for all I care, I’d see that one just to see two great old actors bantering it up.
Okay, no more distractions, back to the video. Man, I can go for some Kraken Rum myself right now.
I don’t know… After Men in Black got basically destroyed, I could do with a copycat, plus this one looks to be having fun. Maybe it won’t be good, but a movie doesn’t have to be good to be awesome.
The movie was 90 minutes and I wanted to just turn over and go to sleep. This rant was 20 minutes longer than the actual film and I was attentive and engaged the whole way through.
Fuck you Will Smith. You picked M. Night and he has a toxic track record at this point. You turned down Django for this? Fuck! Just….Fuck!
So the accents are like “Shelby Foote vs. the Space Mutants”? (Or maybe Stirling’s Draka “South African Lesbian Nazi” accent?)
RIPD sounds like it should be about secret police monitoring the undead. Or is that pun too obvious?
Sadly, I’ve seen people try to come up with story character names like that, thinking something like “well, he’s got to be mysterious and angry,” and deciding to find a meaningful and symbolic name by hitting the thesaurus and producing “Enigma Scorn.”
Or better yet, going to Google translate and seeing how to say “mystery” and “anger” in Japanese.
Addendum: fellow commentator Chürz says that “Kitai” means “expectations” in Japanese.
I’m trying to think to say about that while it sinks in. I’ve got nothing.
A name more stupid than Edge Maverick!?!
Buzz Aldrin’s review of this movie was pretty much ‘There’s no noise in space’. There’s something about Buzz Aldrin seeing this and critiquing it on that note makes me feel slightly better about this bullshit.
Good lord, I’m sick of Bennet being in every single video.
I have to say I admire Spoony for being humble about Jaden and Will and looking from things in their perspective and I agree with Spoony’s opinion of the matter. It’s kinda beautiful and I’m happy that Spoony recommends watching it because of the Jaden and Will’s relationship.
Woohoo, Miles returns!
wait, where’s old tittys?
About Ryan Reynolds: I can’t quite put my finger on it, but for as long as I can remember the man has annoyed me in everything he’s in. There is something about his on-screen persona and his voice that I find incredibly annoying and downright infuriating. He’s a bit like Seann William Scott, who reminds me of Stiffler no matter what type of character he’s playing.
Anywhoo, I really like how you analyzed the situation with Will and Jaden. I feel sorry for the poor kid, as it’s really not his fault if he’s not mature enough to carry an entire movie.
That evolution line is really bothering me: if humans abandoned the planet, how could the animals evolve specifically to kill them? If they were absent, there could not be any ambiental pressure in that direction. It doesn’t make any sense.
Also, I’m highly amused by the World War Z ad that I’m seeing on this page. You’d think they put it on purpose.
Might not be a coincidence. The ad bots can probably tell that people are talking about movies on this site so they show ads for new movies.
You’re absolutely right about the evolution point.
Not to mention 1000 years is far too short of a time to allow for such changes to begin with. Evolution that alters an animal’s appearance and size as seen in the movie would occur over the course of thousand of thousands of years if not more… And the whole “evolve to kill humans specifically” is ridiculous not only for the reason you mentioned but also because there are already plenty of animals perfectly capable of such feat in this day and age. Tigers, lions, bears, sharks, crocodiles, snakes, scorpions and so on are all man-killers. Even herbivorous animals can be real danger; elephants, hippos, buffalos, rhinoceroses, large primates such as gorillas can tear you to pieces if you upset them. So for someone completely unprepared, Earth is already a deathtrap as it is. They really didn’t have to go post-apocalyptic to get that point across…
I just wonder how many people listened to the ridiculous name of “Cypher Rage” and IMMEDIATELY started down the Space Mutiny list of macho names.
Big McLargeHuge! (My favorite!)
Bob Johnson!…oh wait.
And on a side-note, yeah, I haven’t seen much of Benzaie lately. You know, I thought I noticed a distinct lack of gyrating crotch around here lately.
I got dragged into seeing this for my birthday (as punishment for getting my friend girly beer for his birthday). This is, without a doubt, the most boring, nonsensical movie I’ve ever seen in theaters. And the worst part is that almost everyone else I was with liked it.
I hope there’s another Sage/Spoony crossover in the pipeline. Are the Anime Abandon crossovers still a “thing”?
I saw this a few days ago. The only way I could possibly recommend this movie is if you happen to have insomnia. Holy shit was this the most boring piece of crap I have ever seen. The only things that were in the least bit enjoyable were the stupid names and the fact that Will Smith is doing a Morgan Freeman impression while Jaiden Smith does an Elmer Fudd impression.
I’m fucking PISSED they ruined World War Z -_- god damn it hollywood
No mention of Scientology!?
Yeah this movie was a love letter to scientology in disguise… The supression of harmful emotions such as fear as a mean to gain mastery over their surroundings (or something along these lines) is a clear precept of scientology. Volcanoes are extremely symbolic of scientology as well. And the villain of the movie? A monster that feeds of people’s fear? Scientologists’ aversion to psychiatry.
Well, that explains why Brad Jones immediately thought it would make a great double feature with Battlefield Earth.
Holy Hell, it actually all makes sense now!
Wait… seriously? Did Will Smith convert or something? I can’t imagine any other reason somebody would deliberately use Hubbard’s ideas for a film.
He keeps denying that he is but his actions tell a completely different story… He donated more or less $100,000 to scientology rehab organizations back in 2007 and later opened a private school in California founded on the teachings of Hubbard…
Loved seeing Miles back in action! :)
Man… After Earth is Spoonie’s Vietnam.
You don’t know man! You weren’t there!
There was something about the trailers that I didn’t like. It looks like I’ll be skipping this one.
You think Cypher Rage or whatever reads from the Book of Rage? :P *Johnny Quest reference*
i’ve just started watching lost and haven’t seen this pile of shite so when spoony was talking about the crash and the tail end, the lack of signal and the mountain i was thinking lost.
But Happy Gilmore was good…
Dude this movie sounds boring as fuck! Sorry you guys had to sit through that..
Personally I think they should have Adam Sandler as McLeod.
surprisingly, a universal antitoxin is possible.
Opossums for example have a potent anti toxin that makes them immune from nearly any poison or toxin.
so, Quando omni flunkus, moritati.
Wow, really? That’s amazing! I want to know how it works, now…
Sweet Red Green reference
I really liked the rant about movie titles at the end. I have pretty much the same pet peeve. I especially loathe the kind of titles like “Jack” that are just one very common first name and nothing else. That’s not a title, that’s a placeholder. At least Forrest Gump is a name that has a distinct sound. But at least add something to the title, an adjective, a verb, something.
This one might be more of my own problem but I also don’t like single word titles. Unless the word is really interesting and descriptive. So pretty much half of all horror movie titles annoy me… “The Ring”, seriously? Well, at least it might be better than “Halloween” which really just says “this is a horror movie!”. “Saw”… I guess you could say it has the implication of slow, gruesome death but it could be better. I’m not saying those are bad movies, just that the titles are annoying. “Twilight” is a good non-horror example… though I actually found the Finnish title for Twilight even more horrible, it was literally just “Temptation” (in Finnish obviously). That… is just the worst title I’ve ever seen. Okay, it does describe the book so maybe not THE worst. But if your title fits every single book in the same genre, you should rethink it.
Basing off what you were saying about Ryan Reynolds, I agree. Just because a movie is bad doesn’t mean it’s the fault of the actor necessarily. The factors that go into making a bad movie are diverse, but I usually only consider the actors as an afterthought rather than the main problem.
So “Citizen Kane” is a lousy name? :)
Where does Spoony host his chats?
ah yes, that blade meets twilight movie is mortal instruments, i presume?
for starters, they actually explain quite early on, why only the female main character (clary) can see the shadowhunters (matrixy dudes that hunt demons) and since they give an explanation in the context of the world and that also gives her and her alone a reason to be there and makes her important to the story (unlike twatblight), i’m okay with it.
it’s that resident evil movies type of schlock, where you can watch/read it mostly to make fun of all the stupid things that happen, but at the same time, it’s not so inept that it becomes painful like an adam sandler movie
for starters, clary is supposed to be small and shy, but at the same time curios and headstrong. in the movie, they seem to try and make blank-slate insert-yourself-here character for the female audience, that bella was in twilight but with red hair, coupled with the caterpillar eyebrows of robert pattinson (seriously, lilly collins’ eyebrows are so thick and bushy, i’d like to position snipers in them).
jace (the male main character) is supposed to be this muscular, sexy blonde dude who has a lot of tiny scars to describe in great detail and who fights really good so all the little girls can fantasize about him protecting them, who is kind of an asshole, but has a soft core. in this movie, he is the whiny bitch who sang i feel you johanna in sweeney tood over and over, making him the most annoying male bitch since orlando bloom in troy, trying to act like someone he’s not. he is dreadfully miscast both in terms of his physique and from what i’ve seen is his acting range and his usual roles, because the actor who originally supposed to play the part (who also looks pretty much exactly like jace is described in the books) declined the role.
alec (the other male) who looks twice as masculine is, by the way, supposed to be gay. if nothing else, they should have switched those two actors.
there’s also a lot of action scenes that seem overelaborated to make the movie less painful for men to watch, though they’ll probably just end up making the movie a cluttered mess and make it even more boring.
i’m going to watch it, because the person who introduced me to the books loves to make fun of them just as much as i do, but from what i’ve seen so far, i’m gonna go ahead and call this a second eragon.
This is the Spoony we all love…
Suffering and whining :D
The aliens could have made the plants evolve to kill humans, but that would have involved re-hiring Mark Wahlberg.
I actually have to argue in favor of the generalized antitoxin. Something recently learned about possums is their body produces a chemical that neutralizes any venom introduced into their body even if it comes from an animal that they have no way of coming into contact with in nature. If a general anti-venom like that can exist then a general antitoxin isn’t too much of a stretch.
Nice KoDT shirt, Noah. :)
One movie title that doesn’t describe JACK about the film? Magnolia. I still think it was daring enough to be interesting, but I defy you to tell me what it had to do with magnolias.
M.I.B. = Organization which deals with Paranormal/Extraterrestrial threats to Earth fashioned on a 60s mod motif.
R.I.P.D. = Oranization which deals with Paranormal/Supernatural threats to Earth fashioned on a 70s retro motif.
Two totally big differences between them. Half and half each tops.
Don’t forget MIB and RIPD were both based on comic books…
Actually, the RIPD comic book came out two years after the MIB movie…
Yeah, it was a rip-off even back then in comic form.
Have to think that the aliens are trying to breed fear out of humans.
If I wanted to think about this movie at all.
To some of us Brits, the accent sounds like a mix of American, English and Australian.
“And his father, Fred Rage”
At least it was actually “Scott Pilgrim vs. The World” and not “Scott Pilgrim”. There is an accurate description there.
The first time I saw the trailer for this in theatres I thought it sounded stupid. And when I saw M. Night’s name was attached to it, I KNEW it was going to be stupid. Thank you for suffering through this for us. You have saved much money this day for us poor folk.
Have to say, you drunk just gets hilarious. It reminds me a bit of how I am when I get past the point of just being a little tipsy. Flailing arms, louder tone to your voice, extremely open opinions and uncontrollable laughter the results in not being able to sit up straight. God I feel like this is going to be me once TMNT hits. Ugh, fucking Bay. I’ll need a LOT of booze for that one. Fun vid man, really got a good laugh out of it.
I could go on.
Of course it is just a show and the alcohol is supposed to point at the denial those movies create. But I feel very uncomfortable seeing Spoony drinking. Some restrained people loosen up a bit while other characters tab into other moods. I am probably alone with this opinion, but I would be happy to see no more reviews on this website including alcohol.
I agree. Thanks for sharing this.
Agreed. Alcohol seems to make Spoony just yell NOOO without the wit to back that up evident in even his sober vlogs. Yes, I get it, Cypher Rage is funny. Saying it 100 times only makes it less funny if you have nothing to make fun of it with.
Spoony One, alcohol throws off your game.
Yeah….Spoony cant handle a drink. He gets very aggressive, which makes it really uncomfortable to watch.
EDIT: And I dont mean aggressive like “I hate this movie and Im goint to tell you why in a rant” but rather that his whole demeanour changes in a really unlikeable way.
I have to agree sadly. I adore Spoony but it just breaks me heart whenever I see him drinking. He doesn’t handle it well I’m afraid. Not in the ‘pants on head’ sort of way – but in the ‘depressing’ and, as Merost said, ‘aggresive’ sort of way. It’s hard to watch him like this. I appreciate the content, don’t get me wrong, but not nearly as much as when he’s sober.
I too have to agree with this, My guess is Spoony felt his opinions about this movie would ‘flow’ better when he was drinking, but all it did was make him loud and aggressive in what he said, and to both Miles and Bennett when they tried to voice their opinions over his.
I’ve been watching Spoony since his first reviews of FF8 way back and I am a very big fan of these Vlogs. I especially enjoy his movie reviews, since he conjures up some very intelligent arguments for why the movies he has been to see are good or bad. But this introduction of alcohol into his videos just distracted me away from the points he was trying to prove and instead amplified how he spirals off into a loud, gibbering mess when just slightly inebriated.
Spoony, please stick to the tried and tested method of movie reviews. No matter how bad the flick sucked, introducing alcohol does nothing to help.
You’re not alone. Spoony just turns into a jerk when he drinks. Not fun to watch. Just unpleasant.
The only way the earth could freeze over at night is if we were closely tidally locked to the sun and the days were many times longer than they are (think: like if we had 3-10 days a year instead of 365) and the atmosphere was such that heat were more able to escape it.
Mercury, being tidally locked to the sun (it’s orbital period and day are the same length so it always faces the sun) experiences this sort of extreme, where one side of the planet is baked constantly by the sun and reaches an extremely high temperature, and the other side, even in the shadows of craters, is in some places approaching near absolute zero.
Needless to say, none of these conditions would be conducive to plant or animal life, so this movie is beyond stupid and didn’t even attempt to get any sort of real science or physics involved. It’s almost like the writers had no clue that doing some kind of research about the story they were writing might be a good idea.
Currently the day is lengthening by about 1.5-2 milliseconds per century, so at that rate the earth couldn’t start freezing at night till about after the sun consumes before turning into a white dwarf…
How bad is it that I’m actually trying to quantify how the ideas of this movie would actually have to work?
Thanks for turning me onto RIPD… it looks like a fun movie. And it isn’t a bad idea to do what they are doing since MIB has such potential that has been wasted. Also…while the base concept and starting story may be the same it doesn’t mean it will be as good/bad or the same movie… Xenogears and Final Fantasy 7 are based on the same concept and starting story and look how different they are.
oh wait… Roy Rage :)
Even if the sun would vanish the earth would not immediately freeze over. There is enough heat in all it’s matter.
So, according to your description, Earth is wrecked. Humans are at war with aliens who breed organic creatures as biological weapons. Mankind’s best counteroffensive is a group of humans who have been training and adapting specifically to fight these creatures.
Why am I getting flashbacks to Half-Life 2?
Hooray Miles is back!!! I missed him.
I would complain, but you already acknowledged in the description that this video is not good. So…
Why is Robot Jocks the first thing that Pacific Rim gets compared to? I can think of dozens of movies or TV series that come to mind before Robot Jocks. Robot Jocks was a blood sport w/ politics and I don’t recall them fighting Kaiju. Honestly the first thing that came to mind when seeing the style of the Jagers was Big O, and the linked minds thing is near identical to the way Titans work in the Warhammer 40,000 universe.
Fear is the mind killer. Fear is the little death that brings total annhilation.
Am I the only one in shock by Miles drinking a 300$ bottle of whiskey to rant about this crap? For God’s sake! Blue Label should be drank at weddings and occasions like that! Not after crappy movies!
Whatever you have should be imbibed whenever you have need of it.
I thought Jaden Smith did fairly well in Karate Kid, there were a couple badly delivered/flat scenes there, but overall, I think Jaden fit better in that role. Basically, he was just playing a normal kid, like he already is.
For a role like this, branching out into something a lot more fantastical, where you have to step out of the familiar and try to be something way outside your own experience, definitely shows where he might not have what it takes. To be fair, a lot of actors are really only good at playing a certain character, even if that character is basically just them being themselves, and I think if Jaden continues into acting, that might be what we end up seeing. Heck, some people would say Will Smith basically just plays Will Smith in every movie he’s in. While I don’t think that’s completely true, I can see where that’s the impression, and Jaden just might fall into the same category. Of course, it sounds like with this movie in particular, it’s already a monumental obstacle to get a movie like this to be good in the first place.
Or, you know, he might just be terrible at acting, and Karate Kid just happened to work out due to the right combination of elements.
Hey, if Adam Sandler can make one movie every other year where he plays…Adam Sandler, I think Jaden at least has a chance.
But, then again, we have to give this kid some credit: carrying a movie by yourself is no easy task, and he was definitely carrying the movie, since he’s the only one doing anything. There are plenty of adult actors who wouldn’t have even considered such an exposed role. That being said, giving the role to a kid is probably a bad idea. Having Shamalyan as a director and “script touch-up-er” is, sad to say, probably a bad idea too. And Will Smith being your screen writer? Probably also a no.
So, basically, this movie was not Jaden’s fault, any more than Green Lantern was Ryan Goesling’s.
i enjoy stepping on ants. i’m assuming spoony does too.
Gonna leave a comment before I watch the video like I always do.
Can’t say I thought much of this when I saw trailers for it before The Hobbit, just another shitty ass action movie that looks too much like a video game. Movies are turning into videogames and videogames are turning into movies and I fucking hate it. I’m surprised this wasn’t based on an L Ron Hubbard book.
I really hate it when non-scientists try to be all deep talking about disregarding stuff such as fear or pain, both of which are incredibly important for human survival! That “Pain is weakness leaving the body” is complete bullshit, pain is your body telling you if you keep doing what you are doing you will die, you could be permanently disfiguring yourself or destroying important cells.And the line about fear in this movie and what it’s trying to say about fear is fucking retarded.
Fear is not a choice, nobody wants to be afraid, it is an innate part of being human, without fear there can be no courage. What makes for a better protagonist, one who overcomes some sort of fear and adversity or some brainwashed sociopath trained to disregard base human emotions? If he is afraid of nothing then why does he insist so heartily on living? Fear, like pain, is an important tool to preserve life! Why does he care about anything? How can he care about his family if he does not even have the slightest shred of fear, you protect your family because you are afraid if you don’t they will die! It’s so fucking stupid. Will Smith just wants to look like some sort of badass but he comes off as just a douche.
This was interesting in a rambling way. Anyone have the link to the video spoony mentioned of benzaie arguing with jillian (prob misspelling that) that lady in the water is a good movie?
Seifer isn’t spelled Saifer so I’ll always pronounce it as Safer, I don’t give a shit what the world has to say, the Phoenicians invented written language and when a fake ass new word comes into being I’ll abide by their rules and not the internets’/ the inventor of the word’s rules. It’s a Japanese game too, nobody calls Cloud Kuraodo except probably the lamest of the lame.
Regarding the air capsules: Does air have to be toxic for us to have a hard time with it? Think about it – the humans of this horribly thought-out future haven’t breathed Earth’s air in a long, long time. The oxygen/nitrogen mixture of the atmosphere isn’t the issue; we wouldn’t be used to the microbes in the atmosphere anymore. We breathe in any of the Earth’s microbes, we’re gone.
Viruses however are species specific, so any virus that can infect humans would have to also come from a human host, so if the earth doesn’t have humans on it, it also doesn’t have human viruses anywhere on it because those died out without hosts.
You can rarely have a cross species jump, but those happen when a lot of humans are in close contact with that other species, such as pigs who spend a lot of time in contact with farmers. then a virus capable of jumping across the species seizes it’s chance and crosses on to humans.
In short, if Martians invaded, don’t expect the common cold to kill them.
But bacteria could. :D How many different bacterium inhabit the biosphere? What kind of evolutionary lines could they take by the time of “After Earth”?
While your explanation makes perfect, rational sense for the setting of the movie, Will Smith’s character specifically says that the breathing devices help human lungs get more oxygen from the atmosphere, so it’s not anything logical like virological or bacterial concerns.
Of course,the movie’s given explanation is thrown out the window when we see giant fuck-off CG baboons; if they can handle the atmosphere, then humans should be able to.
Also, the giant fuck-off CG baboons are willing to chase an animal they’ve never seen before through a mile of dense jungle, but the instant that animal jumps into a slow-moving river, they instantly become terrified and cease pursuit…especially since baboons actually can swim.
Sorry, that was off topic, but this movie has all the components of an interesting sci-fi story, but they’re assembled with all the care of a particularly lazy metaphor.
The title is Scott Pilgrim vs the World, I dunno about you but that’s descriptive enough for me. It tells the viewers as much about the tone as The Thing.
Anyone ever notice Spoony is always trying to tell people what they did or how they feel? In the Star Trek Into Darkness review he tells his gf somethin’ like “No you were like shaking your fist at the screen!” In this one he tells Miles what his reaction was and how he saw it coming or something like that..
>not knowing that the Spoony One is kind of a dick even so much as by his own admission
Not saying I don’t like the guy though.
I named my Shadow Runner Rex Splode. He is a former marine of the UCAS on the run for killing his entire squad.. His reason is officially listed as insanity, but the truth is his fellow marines were smuggling black market weapons from a international contact and selling them to thugs near local bases. He did what he had to do.. And now hes in Detroit. Working for a Local Mob Boss as a heavy hitter and Shadowrunner. Rex prefers to go in silence, with his silenced Auto 9 – The Robot Cop Gun.
What I don’t understand about these aliens. If the only can see fear, then they would constantly be running into walls, trees, and other natural inanimate obstacles as these will most likely not fear them. This will make them extremely useless as even if they can smell you, all you need to do is hide behind something and they’ll just come charing into it. Are you supposed to fear such a creature? I haven’t seen this movie, and I most likely won’t… but a creature who’s only sense is the sense of smelling frightened humans must be the most useless thing since…. can’t think of anything more useless really.
Exactly, I don’t see how every fight with a human doesn’t become a sick game of leading the monsters through thick brambles, over cliffs. Then it becomes “peekaboo” because we end up laughing so much.
Then we have to carry video players of cheap jump scares, because I don’t see how I am ever going to fear anything I just lured into the drainage ditch behind a McDonalds
The balls on Sage for criticizing Spoony’s running gag. He’s not even all that funny, if the videos he did with Spoony are any indication.
Absolutely. Someone criticizing Spoony? He must be burnt at the stake immediately! Everything that Spoony does is wonderful and perfect! Who wouldn’t want to see an internet critic with delusions of grandeur getting drunk on Skype?
Yes, what has Bennett done? Scripted and edited reviews on a regular schedule? Pfft, what a loser. Now, if he released a trickle of half-assed vlogs on things no-one could possibly care about, that would be genius.
And yet Spoony’s drunken vlogging is more entertaining than Sage’s scripted material.
No. No it isn’t. The first half of this was actually very hard to watch. Spoony’s done better stuff, and he even admits in the video description that this isn’t good.
World War Z is the one that really hurts the most. In the previews, that is. I Pity everyone who read that book before seeing the trailer. And anyone who listened to the well-cast audio version.
Seeing a book that was as much about culture, politics, entertainment, and human nature being shoehorned into “Zoombies 2013″. Hollywood won’t even let the undead shuffle anymore, let alone give us a thoughtful picture.
If any of you haven’t read the book or listened to the audio version. Do yourself a favor, and start them before this movie comes out.
I’m honestly surprised everyone’s going “OMG MIB ripoff” for RIPD yet not the more obvious fact it’s ripping off Good vs. Evil.
I was going to say that, but I honestly didn’t think anyone else even heard of G Vs. E. Hell, all I really remember is Mick Foley (my favorite!) guest starring in an episode.
So, this is my “Holy crap, I’m not the only one who remembers that!” moment. And while I’m at it, it does also contain a small “Reaper” vibe to it (minus the stylish henchman from Robocop as Satan).
I don’t know if this has been asked or not, but…
As far as I can understand. Human fecked up the planet and left a 1000 years ago.
Now EVERYTHING on Earth has evolved to kill humans right?
If the animal’s prey as not existed on the planet, how have they “evolved” into human killing machines?
Humans don’t exist on the planet, the animals would not evolve knowing humans are it’s enemy.
We’re talking here about a M. Night Shyamalan movie. Logic has no place here.
(But I guess it kinda beats those aliens from Signs who apparently tried to win a Darwin award.)
I’m sure the creatures on Earth can have a varied diet, and that they just have to miss out on their daily allowance of human.
I haven’t seen the movie, but are humans explicitly labelled as “prey” to the creatures? I kind’ve interpretted that they would kill-humans-on-sight like you may kill a fly buzzing around your room – you wouldn’t eat it, but you don’t want the little fuckers anywhere near you.
I think it might be worse than Zell or Eeegah.
I’m going to have to concur with most people. I found the drinking funny during the Twilight reviews, but this made me really uncomfortable.
Get over it, people act differently when they’re drunk.
People do indeed act differently when they’re drunk. That doesn’t mean I have sit there and enjoy it when someone over the internet tells me to. That’s asinine. I enjoy Spoony’s reviews and hope that in the future if he doesn’t feel the absolute need to drink during reviews, he won’t. I’ll still keep checking back on the site regardless. Just a quibble.
I like it how Spoony is floored even before the video starts :D
Its called booze…
I’d love to see someone do a “Garfield minus Garfield” with Adam Sandler movies. Adam Sandler minus Adam Sandler. Because I enjoy Little Nicky, but only the scenes without Adam Sandler in them.
So daddy has unreasonably high expectations for his kid (who knows he is unqualified due to his lack of experience) and the two of them are thrust into a catastrophic disaster.
Is Spoony talking about the Will and Jaden Smith in real life or the characters in the movie?
I wrote a very brief horror story where the main character has a cell phone but can’t get any bars and the whole plot is him running away from the evil monster trying to get to high ground to get some bars to call in SWAT and save him.
Then I remembered that was half the plot of bloody “Eight Legged Freaks”. But that movie was awesome and cheesy and easily gets away with it.
Why don’t you write up a draft for a script and, after polishing it up, send it off to a film studio and see if they’ll buy it.
I’m serious here. Everyone loves a good suspense filled, psycological intensifying horror that doesn’t require jump-scares, gross-outs and loud noises all of the time.
You should try this. You never know, your idea might be accepted and you could bask in the glow of your very own horror film that has everyone talking.
Right. Just make it so that the character would be actually hiding from the monster trying to kill him and that it would make it into a really great source of suspense. Will he leave his hiding spot? Will he try to get to higher ground even if it means exposing himself, or would he try to take the longer route, moving from cover to cover? Would he actually wait until he can -see- the monster so that he would know where it is before moving, or would he set up noise traps to keep track of it while moving around? And most importantly, what would he do while he is waiting for the SWAT team to arrive once he made the call? I see many great opportunities of some oppressive horror in this scenario.
Spoony, why don’t make a proper movie reviews any more? This is just unwatchable.
Why don’t you sit down free from the influence of narcotics and tell us what you thought about the film in a reasonable amount of time. Your review is longer than the film. I could just watch the film and draw my own conclusions.
Considering that he only rarely reviews films (well, rarely reviews ANYTHING really), I had trouble swallowing his line about “You didn’t have to see this! I did!”
..But he’s right. After Earth is ASS.
What’s worse than a kid who just can’t act? His actor father who CAN act, bringing his performance down to make his son look better.
That’s where the Elmer Fudd-esque performances are coming from.
Shyamalan isn’t the chief culprit for once, and that is just scary.
I don’t doubt it, Atmos.
I wouldn’t blame Will Smith though. If you watch other Shyamalan’s movies, you probably can’t draw any conclusions other than he directs his actors to give understated performances.
I liked some of his films that other people hate, so I will probably watch it two years from now or so.
Interestingly, when we hear the two of them talking. I like it
The funny thing about the people who “no longer feel fear” is that you don’t really lose fear, you actually gain courage.
The only REAL way to not know fear is to remove the amygdala gland from your brain (or be born without it) This will remove ALL fear, but the downside is that without fear, you’ll be a calamity waiting to happen, as you’ll walk right into imminent death or you’ll enganger others.
Being totally fearless isn’t “Cool”, it’s more like being blind, deaf and mute and you have no limbs; basically, you’ve lost a very important sense that keeps you alive.
Only the dead feel no fear. Its how you know you’re still alive.
Without fear, your survival instinct should take a nosedive. And without either, you might have serious problems getting an adrenalin rush – aka the emergency boost our body uses to get out of live-and-death situations.
I watched it – Good thing it was on Youtube and I didn’t have pay for it !
Does “Reign Over Me” count as an Adam Sandler movie?
Did he direct that movie? I don’t remember, if so I have new respect for him, that movie was amazing.
I don’t think he did though. No when people talk about “Adam Sandler” movies they usually mean the movies he had a hand in creating, not just acted in. Obviously you don’t count funny people which only really worked for him because he was playing a dick that was depressed and didn’t care and that seems to be how Adam Sandler acts in every role now.
It’s the “Happy Madison” movies that people are talking about, really.
I agree with his points concerning the movie, but the way he presented his points and himself in this video is borderline unwatchable. Getting unreasonably angry over people and putting them in timeout for voicing opinions is something I don’t agree with.
Spoony needs to learn his place. He is a clown, an entertainer. We don’t watch his videos for the importance of his criticism. His criticism is no more than what you learn at a Screenwriting 101 class at Community College. We watch them because he can write a solid joke. Maybe when we’re all gone he’ll realize that.
Maybe it’s not right, maybe it makes me a bad person, but I like the drunk rants, I like the ego, I like the entire atmosphere. It’s why I keep watching.
I get some strange kind of joy out of these videos and I don’t entirely understand it.
So I kind of hope it keeps going the way it does. Good work takes time, I’m fine waiting for proper “reviews” but I like those little things in between. Chances are this is something he did in his spare time, he’s probably working on something more conventionally entertaining that will be posted soon, like another final fantasy review.
I mean maybe there’s some misunderstanding but if you wanted a completely professional and “normal” opinion piece or entertainment, why are you here?
By reacting with “this is unwatchable”, you’ve dropped to the level of what you perceive is unacceptable. I think it’s a bit overmuch for him to time out people, but you made your own arguments invalid by being reactionary like he was.
I didn’t like this at all. I could barely get 15 minutes into it before I just had to shut it off because of how boring it is. If I wanna see someone drunk rambling about something I’ll just go to a bar and watch people. Honestly, I’ve got better things to do than that, so Spoony, no more of these 2 hour rambling drunk sessions please? Get some focus man. Come on. You’re a really good entertainer. WAY better than this.
See this is what I mean. I responded to you in the Minority report review.
I was saying here that this was just something in between the real spoony experiment videos but people like you continued to whine, yet there in the minority report video comments you pretend like the video is a response to the criticism.
The sense of entitlement here is incredible. No wonder he had a breakdown, you people are freaking insane. Your watching these videos for free yet demanding he cater to each of your specific tastes, going so far as to demand that EVER SINGLE VIDEO do this and that not a single video be released that YOU won’t enjoy, even if others do.
It’s not free. Adverts bring in revenue. And yeah. I have a sense of entitlement. I’m American. What are you? Stupid?
So, when are we getting that Dracullama script, Spoony?
Good to see that people are FINALLY rebelling against these half-assed ‘watch Spoony get drunk’ vlogs. I was expecting another column of ‘OMG SPOONY!!!’ fanboys.
Don’t like it don’t watch. Its the hight of arrogance to assume that just because *you* don’t like the Spoony gets drunk videos that somehow we should all ”rebel” and join you in condemning them too. No; I love them and I hope they continue for years to come.
No, it’s actually the fact that people like you who constantly feed into this, are the ones encouraging him to continue to destroy himself by getting drunk in all his videos.
Except he doesn’t get drunk in all his videos, he gets drunk in some. You are “rebelling” because he has some videos that show him drunk. Are you some moral authority campaigning against drugs and alcohol? I just don’t understand your angle here. We are not “feeding into this” we are enjoying something that makes us happy.
The fact that you don’t enjoy this series doesn’t mean we are wrong for enjoying it.
Actually, I enjoy his videos thoroughly. I wouldn’t be posting here if I didn’t. Hell, I agree with pretty much everything he says. But when he gets like this, it stops being fun and starts being scary.
So you are honestly trying to tell me I’m wrong for enjoying this because he may make more of these?
I’m not “rationalizing it” I am stating my opinion. I like these videos, I hope he continues to do these types of reviews in between the comedic ones. You accusing me of “rationalizing” my own opinion is extremely arrogant, you seem to assume your opinion is just fact and that anyone that disagrees is in denial.
I can care less how much you enjoy his videos, this has nothing to do with that, this is about you acting like we have a responsibility to be outraged just because YOU don’t enjoy something.
Moral authority here. He’s “destroying himself” by drinking on tape.
Or is it any form of drinking that destroys us?
Yeah your right, keep being sober and live forever, that’s how it works right? You probably destroy yourself with fast food and sitting at the computer, who are you to judge?
Oh that’s right, the guy hiding behind a screen name, that’s who you are.
I really liked this :)
Also, what’s wrong with not wearing trousers at home?
Spoony is American. He wears (or doesn’t wear) pants.
I’m sure this will make it much funnier for you to think of it that way if you’re from the UK.
Hey hey hey, this isn’t a review of “commando”
So people from the UK should be calling trousers ‘pants’ just to please ‘muricans? :D
You funny Americans going out in public wearing just pants… ;)
I have to say, I’m a little disappointed in the cast’s scientific knowledge. First of all, the ozone layer has very little to do with the heat of the atmosphere; it shields us from ultraviolet radiation, nothing more. Secondly, toilet paper is actually an organic material, as it’s primarily made out of wood, which, as we all know, is tree-flesh, basically. Lastly, I’m a little disappointed that they never raised the question of “how could these animals have evolved to kill humans if there WERE NO HUMANS on the planet this entire time?”.
Not all paper is made from wood, in fact making paper from trees is incredibly inefficient. Hemp can be used to make paper.
Your asking how the animals evolved to kill humans if there are no humans there. That’s a really stupid question if you think about the fact that humans use to be there. Can you fill in the gaps by yourself now? Can you?
Give you a hint, ask yourself why the humans may not be there. Still don’t get it? reread your question.
It doesn’t matter if it’s made from hemp or wood. It’s still made from organic material.
Also, the reason humans left the planet in this setting, as was made utterly clear throughout the entire video, was because humans had polluted the Earth to such a degree that they left it to its fate, much like in Wall-E. And even if they had gone with the “everything evolved to kill humans” angle, it would still have been ridiculous because A) that is simply not how evolution works. Species evolve to fit into a specific niche in an established ecology, such as predator, parasite or photosynthesiser. For even a single species to evolve not to PREY on a single species, but EXTERMINATE it is a ridiculous notion, because a single species that had evolved to do that would itself rapidly go extinct because they would either a) exterminate their prey, and then die off because they’d have no prey left, or b) the prey would have evolved countermeasures that beat the menace back and starve them, because they failed in the evolutionary arms race. Nevermind the thought of a WHOLE PLANET of species to evolve that strategy, including plant eaters and all. That’s an entirely other level of ridiculous. And B) it wouldn’t matter if the entire planet suddenly decided to try to kill us. Human technological progress is FAR faster and more powerful than natural evolution, and we would easily adapt to a nascent death world. Especially since, through selective breeding, genetic engineering and various other measures, we could replace the suddenly hostile species with species more suited to our conditions, which we’re already attempting to do with, for example, malaria mosquitoes.
I never said hemp isn’t organic, you said paper is made from trees, I was simply pointing out that this isn’t entirely the case.
What do you mean that’s not how evolution works? Do you know anything about evolution? Haven’t you seen birds with beaks specifically formed for certain tasks? You think animals don’t evolve to be better at hunting specific things?
good point, I guess those fish with the light lures on their heads are just part of god’s design cus “evolution don’t work that way”
You are oversimplifying the concept of evolution to the point that I have to wonder if you just googled it on the spot. It’s not as simple as animals just filling niches. There are evolutionary dead ends, actually more of them than you realize. It has nothing to do with what animals you like to see, it has to do with what makes a species thrive and continue to breed. If humans are the most dangerous game, it makes sense that animals evolving to kill humans or at least defend against them would have an advantage, live, breed, and make more of themselves.
Did you seriously just say it’s impossible for a species to evolve to exterminate another species? Hey did you know we evolved? Did you know we have exterminated species of animals?
Why would they die off? Now you are saying these animals are only able to prey on humans? So your telling me that these animals eat nothing but humans? The movie was dumb but it wasn’t that dumb.
You are calling speculative fiction ridiculous. Bottom line, it actually makes perfect sense that other lifeforms would evolve in a way that makes them more of a threat to us. We are a threat to them, they either evolve to counteract our attack or they die.
What am I saying, adapt or die? As you have said several times, that’s simply just not how evolution works.
Evolution isn’t about filling niches, it’s about mutations. If a mutation is something that hinders a creature we call it a deformity but if a mutation gives it some sort of survival or breeding advantage, it’s more likely to pass on it’s genes and pass on it’s mutation. That’s how evolution works, countless mutations and every once in a while one is something that actually helps the creature in some way.
Seriously the way you describe evolution as some carefully controlled system makes you sound like a creationist, which is pretty funny considering.
Again, speculative fiction. You are saying our technology will always advance faster than natural evolution, how would you know? Its been shown that natural disasters can speed up evolution, or do you not believe in humans either? Because that’s kind of how our evolved so quickly.
Oh wow, ad hominem attacks. Yeah, because that totally doesn’t illegitimise your argument. Have a nice day.
I absolutely LOVE videos like this. That’s why you are and always have been the best Spoony; because there is almost nobody else that can make nearly two hours of random stuff interesting. I still remember the good old days of you just sitting there with a Klingon language tape.
One of the numerous idiotic problems with this film’s science is the fact that HUMANS DON’T FUCKING EMIT PHEROMONES. That’s not our thing. Our olfactory sense is just not strong enough for it to matter.
Warhammer 40,000 does more justice to good science, because at least Space Marines (who can’t help but know no fear) have other emotions. Mostly anger, vengeance and hatred. But nonetheless, other emotions.
We actually emit pheromones. just because you don’t know you are affected by them does not mean you’re immune. You should really try to get a grip on biochemistry before throwing that out there.
Almost every lifeform emits pheromones. We’re not really aware of it because we register them subconsciously – which might be the reason for this whole “love at first sight”-thing.
Unfortunately, our use of perfume have made it very hard to register our natural pheromones.
I know you edited your comment but wow… “we don’t emit pheromones”?? :D
Am I the only one who didn’t mind Spoony drinking and enjoys the longer reviews better?
I’m ambivalent. On one hand I love his unmitigated passionate rage. On the other hand I fear that the unmitigated passionate rage is unhealthy.
I have just seen this movie, and honestly, it wasn’t as bad as they say it is. It is bad, but it is boring, predictable, forgettable bad. Just the kind of bad that you forget the moment it went out.
Sorry but the slang language in “A Clockwork Orange” is more than just an accent; they call it “Nadsat” and it’s a mix of Cockney rhyming slang, Russian, Romany, and words made up by novelist Anthony Burgess.
Unless Cypher Rage calls shoes “quickers” or a scanner a “vordzhaak”, then he is taking in a funny accent to drive home that the movie takes place in “THE FUTURE.”
That one thing that seriously pisses me off recently: We have a linguist like Burgess who probably spent years working on this slang – and then we have a guy like Shyamalan thinking he could do something just like that by having every actor pronounce words very stupidly.
Well, at least it’s not like with Eragon creator Paolini, who claims he created a fictional language for his books just like Tolkien – at the age of 17. The fictional language of course is a simple word-replacement he doesn’t even bother to actually complement with a dictionary or something <_<
That’s just the difference between a dialect and an accent. Dialect = unique vocab (may also encompass a certain pronunciation), accent = pronunciation
Don’t listen to Bennett. Your “We can’t. The Press!” running gag is one of my faves.
When’s that LB interview coming?
Spoony does a good Sandler impression. At least he does the Sandler scream well.
Oh yeah pony’s totally not fascist. He only rebuked someone for expressing their opinion which was the opposite of his…..
Noah, you gotta change your ways, man. You gotta let go of hate or else you’re gonna die young, homeless, and friendless.
“Big Trouble in Little China”
I seriously was thinking of that before you brought it up.
Spoony, we both know that between your views, your ad sense, and how you’re now, you want last three more years. Honestly I don’t why you left this video up, it makes you look so bad and perfectly shows how you’re now, between banning invalid URL at the end for saying sorry for for liking adam sanler, and I was there, and how you talked, and it wasn’t just the constant cussing or saying GD over and over, that’s always been you, atleast recently but it got to the point after interrupting Sage he acted like he was embarrassed to be there, he couldn’t even believed you blocked someone for 20 minutes for saying happy Gilmore was a good movie. And I know you’ve always acknowledge that your fans are morons on twitter, but that wasn’t how it use to be, almost every single one of your old fans are gone, heck i’m one of the last that still have forum accounts created in 2007 and is still active, but the old Spoony is so drastically different that if I had never saw you before I could still piece together exactly the old Spoonys videos from the new ones, just how mature, witty, and funny you were. Hopefully you will cut this bullshit out, because your immature idiots of fans as you call them are not cutting it, maybe because as you have gotten more and more repetitive and just plain hatefully immature unlike the old Spoony, your fan base has changed just as much. LordKat put it best when he said the reason that your views spiked so high after you were fired from TGWTG was because your fans hoped the old Spoony would be back, and he was right because they dropped like a rock after.
Hope you get better.
Aren’t you being just a tad patronizing?
Why am I surprised my only dislike was someone that would say something like that, and do you know what patronizing means?
@MuaguanaI have been here since 2007, as you would of saw if you knew how to read, not to mention I was on the staff list with midknight, I know that’s more then a moron like you, not to mention you disliked both my comments, and then made yourself look like a stupid troll, and your way isn’t working because his views,comments,ad sense, are nowhere near what they use to be, lets be thankful there are not more idiotic fans like you that just started viewing the last couple of months. Then again I shouldn’t expect someone with a IQ less then a stick of gum from someone called “Muaguana”, let the big boys talk, just stick to disliking.
I am not going to watch World War Z. The zombie fad has gotten so old that it’s actually become senile and started forgetting its own name. Want some proof? “Rage virus” or “infected” or “walkers”.
Constantine (as in the character) is pronounced ‘cons-tan-teen’ (rhyming with mean), Normally, names ending with -stein should rhyme with fine. For some reason, a lot of people in America pronounce names ending with -stein as if they were supposed to rhyme with mean. E.g. some people pronounce Bernstein ‘burnsteen’.
In the comics it’s pronounced the way I said. The movie doesn’t count.
I don’t care how much of a ripoff it is. I say RIPD looks like fun. It has Jeff Bridges tackling Ryan Reynolds out of a highrise window and riding him all the way down like Major Kong from Dr Strangelove. There is nothing you can say that’s going to make me not see this movie.
i love this video…spoony in a blind rage, with a pina colada, dropping the ban hammer on the chat room… what more can you ask for?
“This video is not good.”
Is finally Mr.Antwiller (the king of the internet according to its fanboys, pfffffft!) realizing he’s not all that good ? Time will tell.
Anyway, I’d like to leave two quotes about it to reflection. And this includes you, King Antwiller and your mindless fanboys, like Driscol:
“You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.”
“Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.”
I love the “Can’t, the Press” gag. Keep using it
I feel like drinking now.
Tomorrow I’m getting some Strongbow Cider and Blue Label and rewatch the video.
Oh yeah, and some crisps.
I never understood the prudishness of people apparently “having” to wear clothes (I mean aside undergarments) in their own home. Maybe it’s just where I was raised and my country, but in their own house people walk around in essentially their undies and maybe a shorts or a t-shirt (the women wear more than that though). It’s your own damn home! Unless you’re entertaining guests or expecting someone or when you answer a door, you obviously get dressed. But if you’re with your immediate family (spouse and kids), what is so wrong?
Every time I go to rewatch this hilarious video, I forget what the still shot for it is, so when I see it again, I bust out laughing coz I’m like “the fuck did *I* do?” :D