Midnight screening – Snow White & The Huntsman

The Spoony One | Jun 1 2012 | more notation(s) | 

  • http://www.facebook.com/ChusterMerino Chuster M. Merino

    So… Thor and that crosseyed chick from Twilight, right?

  • http://www.facebook.com/matthias.geiss Matthias Geiss

    About damn time for something new from you Spoony!

  • http://www.facebook.com/korchuk Konstantin Korchuk

    What’s with the russian poster in the back?

    • PeaTearGryfin

      That’s a Russian Star Wars poster.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Nika-Kalantar/100001282923942 Nika Kalantar

    The hell did you do to your hair?

  • http://www.facebook.com/kieron.davies Kieron Davies

    New meme of spoony yelling “Fail D:< "

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=664025766 Stig André Sømme

    Is that Zero Punctuation Imps in the bookshelv? :O Amazing! Just… Brilliant!

  • http://www.facebook.com/peter.cacciatore.14 Peter Cacciatore

    The way I see it, the reason why Christen Steward was chosen for Snow White had nothing to do with her beauty or talent. It was an attempt to get people to watch the film. While even though alot of people hate twilight, just as many if not more adore it. Since she was one of the main roles from twilight, casting wanted her to star in it, completely ignoring all the bullcrap about her. Her and the actor who played Jacob are being used in films now for endorsement reasons. Lets just say, much to my horror, we will be seeing ALOT more of this bitch now. Mark my words.

    BTW, did anybody else notice that snow white has no dialouge in the trailers?

    • http://www.facebook.com/JCW91 Jake Willson

       Don’t worry mate, She’s just going to be Megan Fox 2.0 (though riding on twilight, not teenage hormones)

      Sure it’s going to fly for now but lack of talent will lead her to crash just like Fox did.
      Maybe not as spectacularly and abruptly but it’s going to happen.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Nika-Kalantar/100001282923942 Nika Kalantar

         Aw, come one man! I might be in the wrong demographic but even I see that Megan Fox is, if nothing else, at least pretty, ESPECIALLY next to bleedin’ Stewart

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Freddy-Duran/100000817426762 Freddy Duran

    they just wanted the twilight fan girls they had left to go see it

    • Nyaore

      Pretty much. I can’t understand why they’d have brought her in otherwise, since she really isn’t the best actress in the world – and I’m sure they could have gotten a relative unknown for the role who was much better suited. (Not to mention for much less than it probably cost them to hire Stewart.)

  • http://www.facebook.com/professorskar Lee Erickson

    Gary Oldman

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=522880273 Matthew Szota

    No more apologizing spoony, you are completely right, kirsten cant act and is not hotter than charlize, it is a dumb thing they want people to buy

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Nika-Kalantar/100001282923942 Nika Kalantar

      I love how I saw atrailer for it in the cinema and it went along the lines of:

      Theron *in überdramatic tones*- Who’s the fairesnt one of all?
      Stewart *blank look* – Huh?

      That was the point when I decided I need to see this :D

  • PeaTearGryfin

    Gotta love it. I just finished watching Brad talk about Snow White and the Huntsman and now I get to see Spoony talk about it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1045530038 Jeremy Brooks

    Wait, your own psychological sickness? Is he being serious or just mucking around to express himself for the vlog review? Because I would be concerned and hoping he’s doing okay if he was serious.

    • Vismutti

      I thiiink he was joking. Though I can’t really confirm that. But it sounded to me like “I have this psychological illness that forces me to nitpick everything!”

  • http://twitter.com/kingofdoma Charles T. Arthur

    Wasn’t the original definition of “fair” supposed to be pale? If that’s so, Miss Stewart wins in a walk…

  • http://twitter.com/Juel92 Joel Martinsson

    I just got home from watching Prometheus… America u jelly?

    • Nyaore

      So jelly.. D:

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Courtney-Carroll/1481804690 Courtney Carroll

      Not really. After reading the plot I’m not sure I want to see that anymore.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Nathan-Ellis/100002419726549 Nathan Ellis

        I wouldn’t want to see a good movie I read the plot of either ya dope! 

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=703444991 Magdalen O’Reilly

    Cool review! Now, as one of the few resident females of the Spoony Nation… Noah, it’s time for a haircut. :)

    • Higaki Rinne

      As a resident male of the comments on this blog, I agree
      You’re not 14, Spoony, come on

      • dennett316

         As a resident of Normalville…who gives a fuck what his hair looks like?

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/George-Rosenbaum/100001387887487 George Rosenbaum

          Apparently, a section of Spoony’s female fans find it sexy. So I guess they care.

          I’d hate to have long hair, it would always get in my eyes. :/

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=703444991 Magdalen O’Reilly

          Now looking back at all the shit storm it caused- holy crap I’m so sorry I even mentioned it. It was just a suggestion and people have turned into this all out “OH MY GAWD YOUR HAIR” thing. He looks younger and thinner with shorter hair- most guys do. Long hair has become a staple of the “dirty gamer” look. But it’s not like I’m fapping to these videos, so he can do whatever he wants with his hair. SHEESH.

  • http://twitter.com/FailedSlurpe Mike bonacker

    I hope you review prometheus to. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/veddabredda Védís Rúnarsdóttir

    I actually agree with you in that Kristen is not “hot enough” to be Snow White. Yeah, it can be interpreted as a piggish statement, but it’s such an integral piece of the plot, you know?

  • http://twitter.com/Commander_Co0l Tony Fernandez

    anyone else think that the name of this should be “Midnight Screaming”?

  • lucaschad

    My idea for a much hotter Snow White in this movie I think boils down to whoever’s hotter in her 20’s or in her 30’s. I know the 30’s thing is weird, but there’s plenty. I think it would’ve been either Amanda Seyfried or Rachel McAdams. Also, if I wanted a better actress to play the evil Queen without the Pacino-style acting, I would’ve gone with Angelina Jolie. Haven’t seen the movie yet, but I’m just saying.

  • http://twitter.com/LoverofGeeks Lisa Bennett

    My 59 year old dad and I wanted to see this because we’ve really enjoyed the Once Upon A Time series on ABC. So we were hoping for a similar vibe. But… I REALLY can’t handle Kristen Stewart. She is so emotionless and drab, especially compared to Ginnifer Goodwin’s portrayal. I like Theron who is freaking gorgeous and generally a good actress, but I love Lana Parilla’s (sp?) portrayal of the evil queen. I kinda wouldn’t mind comparing them, but I’m not sure if it’s worth the cost of a ticket.

  • http://twitter.com/TheAbridgenator Steve O.

    No apologizing for the truth, Spoony! That’s how Kristen Stewart keeps getting work like this in the first place. :B

    Course, this is always the problem with casting SUPERHOT characters like Helen of Troy in live action; very few can live up to the hype.

  • http://twitter.com/TheFlyingPhoton Jeff

    So was the Magic Mirror counting down the days until Snow White was legal so he could talk about how hot he thought she was without it being weird?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Simeon-Ivanov/100000521101770 Simeon Ivanov

    Awwww, just 30 minutes? Eh, I guess it’ll do untill the second part of the Ultima IX review. Keep up the good work Spoony

  • Crispin West

    What is that Russian poster in the background, looks cool, want one.

  • fatalrob0t

    Kristen Stewart looked like she was high in an interview I saw of her. -.o Personally, I want to see this movie for Chris Hemsworth. THORRRR.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=654899396 Peri Akman

    Hi Spoony! As someone who read Twilight (kill me), to be fair to the books, she was actually described as not very attractive. The reason everyone was attracted to her was because A. She was someone new to look at in a VERY small town (based off of the author’s own experiences when in college), and B. Jacob always had a crush on her, and Edward grew attracted to her because he couldn’t read her mind and was enthralled with that.

    Twilight is still bad, don’t get me wrong, but there was a reason they probably went for normal-looking Kristen Stewart.

  • http://twitter.com/Jesseraygarza Jesse Garza

    Brand new Spoony!!!! Back to back to!? Wow! What more could you people ask for? This is to awesome! Best thing on the internet by far!!!!! XD XD XD :D

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Matthew-Wenke/1156556418 Matthew Wenke

    I too had an issue with the scarred women…seriously?With the essense of beauty..a scar,an artificial marring is not gonna take that away.If anything,those scars accentuated the beauty,not destroy it.And yeah,no way was K Stewert most fair of all,get an unknown actress to play Snow rather than just someone whos’ career is hot.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/Q5LPDAOKRZO7QL3WODHEAVSUOU John

    I can’t stand Charlize Theron. Something about her just rubs me the wrong way.

    You call Charlize Theron gorgeous and Kristen Stewart average? I think Spoony needs glasses. I’d call Charlize Theron boarderline ugly.

    • dennett316

       Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, as they say.  Personally I think she’s much hotter than Stewart, and a better actress too.

  • http://www.facebook.com/amanda.lewandowski.77 Amanda Lewandowski

    thank you!!! someone agrees with my about kristin’s lack of actting skills!

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1106842144 Joseph Bradford

       Do people disagree with you on this matter?  Really?  Have they ever seen ANYTHING that she’s ever done? 

  • Kaitlyn McKay

    It’s okay Spoony- as a female, I don’t think you’re a pig. In fact, me and my mom had this discussion today about Kristen Stewart; Stewart’s all right looking- she has a girl next door attractiveness about her, but she can’t hold a candle to Charlize Theron. When it comes to Snow White, it doesn’t matter if it’s an action movie like this one or a comedy like Mirror Mirror, Snow White HAS to be hot. I actually think that I was being more nit-picky with this movie then you were- I wasn’t even trying to nit pick, but I just found so many things wrong with it… I don’t hate the movie, I just didn’t think it was very good. I would give it one out of four stars. I would probably have given it one and a half or two stars if it wasn’t so dull in the middle half as it was dragging on, with the pointless scene of Snow and Thor in that village and countless other stuff…

    I actually saw this movie specifically because of Thor. However, not even Theron’s over acting, Stewart’s inability to act, and Thor’s hotness could save the movie for me. I thought it would be more entertaining, to be honest. I didn’t expect it to be GOOD, but at least entertaining. 

    Oh, and Spoony, your hair… you need to cosplay as Loki. You have to. Before you eventually get a haircut, you need to cosplay as Loki. And since you’re going to a con, soon, I think that’d be the perfect time to do it :)

  • http://twitter.com/Jesseraygarza Jesse Garza

    I agree, Charlize Theron is WAY hotter and sexier than Kristen Stewart!

    • bob bob

      Because comparing a cougar to a cub is fair, right

      • http://twitter.com/Jesseraygarza Jesse Garza

        Yes! Yes it is! :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Leon-Wu/570265469 Leon Wu

    You’re not a pig, it’s a personal preference thing. And yes, Kristen Stewart is definitely not hotter than Charlize. Maybe if they went with Kristen Bell…

  • MediaGold

    Now this is more like it!  I’ve really missed these movie review vlogs.  And I know this video was made due to my bitching about lack of content.  No thanks are necessary, people.  (I’m just kidding PeaTear.  Disengage your fingers, you Twonk.)

    • PeaTearGryfin

      *In Dr. Claw voice* I’ll get you next time MediaGold. Next time. muahahahahahaha

      • Kendotuxedo

        *Mad Cat screech*

      • MediaGold

        Hey, Inspector Gadget reference!  Perhaps you’re not all that bad.  This post will self destruct!


  • http://www.facebook.com/ravenwoodwitch Angela Headley

    People have personal prefrences, it’s a fact of life :).
    In all honesty, Kiristen stuart alone is the main reason I really really don’t ever want to see this movie. Yes, I’m one of the many that hate twilight (Though as somebody who used to be on the other side of the fence, I have more to talk about) but I just can’t see anything else when I look at Kirsten Stuart. I don’t blame my bias, I blame the fact that she doesn’t portray any other characture when she acts.
    Anyhoo, nice to know that the movie had other things going for it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Pierre-Dumas/633404316 Pierre Dumas

    we agree Spoony

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Phillip-Jonathan-Brown/609074211 Phillip Jonathan Brown

    For why Snow White was not killed, I kind of think it’s because the Mirror only mentions that Snow White will become the fairest of them all and surpass the Queen when she became of age. At least that what I got out of it.

  • goodguya

    Love this Spoony! Keep us updated whenever you find the time to do so. Just hearing your simple thoughts on basically anything – games, movies, state of affairs in life – makes me happy to see on the page.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Lars-Broekhuizen/100001935878041 Lars Broekhuizen

    Ha! The joke is on you! It was actually one guy cleverly shot as if he were a hundred men!

  • houseofpayne963

    i didn’t like the movie very much.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1106842144 Joseph Bradford

    Spoony, if it makes you feel any better, both myself and my wife have said the same thing.  Namely, that Kirsten Stewart < Charlize Theron.  And neither of us feel bad or like pigs at all for thinking that because it's harsh, but the truth. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/yawgmothx John Banks

    “Where like the book keeps telling us… I haven’t read the books but I’ve seen enough excerpts from the – shut up.”

    This is going on a t-shirt.

  • coyoterys

    The mirror obviously likes plain Janes more than drop dead gorgeous babes.

  • http://twitter.com/stonekhan117 Mish

    Charlize Theron super hot..  Kirsten Stewart not so much…      Kirsten Stewart should have been the queen and   Charlize Theron should have been snow white… just saying 

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kenneth-Eaton/100000592144443 Kenneth Eaton

    Since when did a movie with a 170 million dollar budget become a low budget movie?

  • http://www.facebook.com/Kay.Jay.Awesome Emily Kay Jay

    Spoony, saying Kristen Stewart isn’t hot doesn’t make you a pig. When I found out she was in this I was furious. I’m a Grimm’s Tale purist, and casting Stewart is just… wrong. The whole reason her name is Snow White is because her birth mother wished for a child with hair as black as ebony, with lips as red as blood, and with skin as white as snow. Those are very shallow descriptions of beauty, sure, but it’s an important part of the story nonetheless. Kristen does not fit any of those descriptions, and even if she did, she’s just… not… that… impressive. Although of course it’s her acting that bothers me the most.

  • http://www.facebook.com/emily.lanzikos Emily Lanzikos

    Yeah, I was confused as to why Kristen Stewart was cast. Honestly, off the top of my head, I can think of a couple actresses who are WAY hotter and can act so much better. Zooey Deschanel would’ve been pretty good (or at least better than Stewart), but I mainly think of Alison Brie from Community/Mad Men. On Community, they even joke about how she uses her big Disney princess blue eyes to get what she wants. Unfortunately, I think the casting director went more with name recognition (for all those twi-hard preteens) rather than actual quality.

  • maye

    I saw this movie tonight, I came home with mixed feelings for it. Watching this video it felt good that someone also pointed out alot of things that I had problems with. Charlize Therons constant bat shit crazy over acting, Kristen Stewarts lack of…actractiveness and acting capability honestly Kristen Stewart was where I knew the movie was going to go down for me, I can handle the over acting from Charlize Theron but I have seen her previous movies, she is actractive and can act very very well. Kristen Stewart is the opposite in my opinion. Also Chris Hemsworth was by far the best in this movie. I liked the action as small scale as it was, I didnt think it was too long I honestly thought it was too short there was alot that needed explaining and some characters needed alot more development, such as the dukes son William…I honestly saw no point in this character aside from having feelings for Snow White…what a retard. Theres also some minor things that kind of made me raise an eyebrow at but nothing to serious. All in all an average movie. Thanks for the great video Spoony.

  • bob bob

    I know I’m going to get flamed over this, but I find Kristen Stewart hot. Sure she can’t act but I think she’s better loking than most of the fake boobed, makeup covered actresses of today. Comparing here to Charlize Theron is kinda silly considering that Charlize has like 15 years on her. Maybe she will turn out to be the sort of person who looks better as she ages.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003407262296 Lorien van Arden

    I would say it’s definitly preference weither or not you find Kristen Stewart hot or not – In my oppinion she is painfully average young women. What you can say with definite proof is that she has absolutly NO charisma. That is exactly WHY I think she was cast for twilight. She does not register as competition for most women, making it easier to imagine yourself in her place.
    Thats my take on the debate anyway.
    Looking forward to Ultima 9 part 2 man!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002267431133 Amir Johnson

    tommy wisou is a better actor then kristen stewart

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Marco-Gracia/100000122473973 Marco Gracia

      Not in any kind of technical sense, he isn’t. From a purely technical standpoint (you know, the basic “mechanics” of acting), it’s very, very hard to find someone worse than Tommy Wisaeu. However, he is, far and away, a million times more interesting. Kristen Stewart is the worst kind of bad: she’s PAINFULLY boring and completely incapable of rendering any emotion other than “glassy-eyed dullness” and “mild constipation”. Tommy Wisaeu is the best kind of bad: hilariously, uproariously, almost impossibly bad. You almost can’t believe he isn’t doing this on purpose, it’s so terrible, and that’s hilarious. With Kristen, though, she either isn’t trying or has the acting talent of a 2nd grader with a tummy-ache; either way, she puts me right to sleep.

  • MamaMinx

    Gotta say I loved it when Charlize Theron went over the top with her anger!
    {side note:  If you ever get the stomach flu etc. again, take 1 cup of water with 2 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar.  Trust me, it works!}

    Mama Minx

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=655701905 Corey Schaff

      Apple Cidar vinegar?  Do they sell that or do you have to buy the alcoholic Apple Cidar and let it go bad?

      • 8xInfinity

        Apple Cider Vinegar is a really common type of vinegar. It’s available in basically every supermarket.

        • MamaMinx

          This is very true.  

  • Emily DeBellis

    I’m actually really wanting to see this movie despite what other’s say about it. I love Grimm’s fairy tales and the movie just looks really good. 
    Spoony’s “pig” comments, completely agree. Kristen Stewart is not pretty, she’s a horrible actress, she should not be allowed to act. It’s true. Whatever she’s doing she seems constipated and in pain.
    As for sticking to the original story, the Evil Queen is never given a reason for her vain nature, she’s just that way. Snow White is supposed to be the daughter of the King that the Evil Queen marries. Don’t know if that’s what happened in the film, would like to find out. Great job Spoony.

  • MrWizard0022

    Dude, really, no need to apologize. Thinking someone is not attractive (Which Kristin Stewart is most definitely not), or for that matter thinking someone IS attractive (which Charlize Theron kind of is) does not make you a pig. Saying “she has no worth as a human being because she’s not hot” would make you a pig, and you’re not saying that at all.

  • 8xInfinity

    I was kind of interested in this when I saw the trailer before The Avengers, but when I saw that dullard’s face and empty, dead eyes I literally cried out in the theater. Of all people, why her? Sure, Twilight has plenty of fans, but even then they’re split on whether Kristen Stewart can act at all. For non-fans of Twilight, just the fact that she is Bella earned her unending scorn.

    And Spoony, calling her a bad actress doesn’t make you a pig. Just because she’s a chick doesn’t mean you have to praise her acting or her appearance. And, it’s really important considering the entire premise of Snow White: She isn’t pretty enough. She’s not hideous looking, but I can’t buy her as the prettiest woman in the entire land, unless it’s a particularly ugly kingdom. If this were any other movie, her not being the hottest girl wouldn’t be an issue, but the entire point of Snow White is that she is supposed to be notably more attractive than any other women around her.

  • http://www.facebook.com/JDBusserNaruto Joseph Kilcarr

    I have only a few problems with this review, 1) I was trying to keep an open mind with this movie too and Kristen Stewart actually has improved with this performance, 2) in the flash back for Charlize Theron, her mother says that the spell cast on her was to keep her beautiful and that beauty was her power, as we saw by her aging after using magic, it makes sense that she would have an obsession with beauty 3) Not everything was suppose to be fairy tale logic, as you said with why snow white was kept alive, if you think about why it would happen, a plausible answer will come.

    Now after I made my spiel, I do agree that it was an okay movie. The marching after meeting the dwarfs was kinda reminiscent of LOTR but it was a quick scene. But I would have to agree that it was an ok movie. 

  • http://www.utahraptorz.deviantart.com/ Utahraptorz

    Don’t worry Spoony, you’re not being a pig. You’re just saying your opinion on the role, nothing wrong with that. :) I actually totally agree with you. Snow White is supposed to be the most attractive woman in the land, but Kristen Stewart ain’t it. She was just mainly cast to get some Twilight fans to see the film. (Or at least that’s what I believe.) I didn’t enjoy her in the film either, although I did think she did a slightly better job in this film than in the Twilight movies. Still, they could have gotten someone much better and attractive for the role.

    I personally didn’t like the film very much, although that might be because I actually was nitpicking a lot. ^^; I guess since this was supposed to be a gritty version of Snow White I was expecting a lot more things to be explained rather than just having to except it. Or maybe I just wasn’t in the right mood to watch it? I went in the theater feeling 50/50 about it though…I don’t know. I just didn’t find myself enjoying it that much. I did really like the cinematography and CGI, but there was a lot of other things that just bugged me. Mainly Kristen Stewart as Snow White and the lack of motivation from the queen. I know she doesn’t have much motivation in the original fairy tale either, but they did try to give her something in the flashback, but it wasn’t a very good motivation.

    I think I may have gone to this film being a little too nitpicky. I almost want to rewatch it now with a more open mind…but I might just nitpick too much again, I don’t know. XD Anyway, great review as always! The points you made were very good, and I could totally see other people liking this. Actually, I went to see this with my parents, and they loved it. Maybe once this movie becomes available for rent I’ll give it a second chance. :)

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/VDHYQSEXLUBYTDNRGYWSLWJN3E KyleS

    Seriously, why the hell are you beating yourself up so hard over determine which chick is hotter? It’s not like it’s a bad thing inherently, and especially something women really are not above doing to men.

    I’ll agree. Kristen Stewart isn’t as hot as Theron. But really what they should have been going with in this movie is that the Queen may be hot, but she wasn’t the most beautiful and set the contrast on that. And Stewart probably wasn’t the best option for a Beauty, as she has a very Normal look about her. Not to mention she is indeed a decent actress.

    It’s a really hard role to pic out, because you’re supposed to make the audience believe that Snow White is bar none a cut above all others in beauty. Something which lends itself better to animation as you can get a more straight vision of beauty without it being fogged by human preference as much as real people.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Matt-Kinol/100001311443569 Matt Kinol

    Honestly, those comments didn’t make you seem like a pig at all to me. Physical beauty is generally objective, and can therefore be defined, unless some kind of kink is added into the mix. We are hard wired to be drawn to certain aspects of women, fair skin, clean hair, shapely legs, ample breasts, and, most subtly, facial structure. Perhaps appreciating such things based on animal instinct is the equivalent of running around naked and throwing our own dung, but there it is.

    Now, about Bella being supposedly beautiful, there is a bit of an issue with that. I actually read the first book, purely so that I could hate the series objectively (I wanted to know if it really deserved its reputation; it does). Stewart basically fits the description of Bella, and here’s why. Bella is an insertion of Meyer. She basically describes herself as a teenager, completely unremarkable. The thing is, Meyer FAILS as an author. She FAILS. She FAILS so hard it hurts me mentally. She basically doesn’t know how to make something sound appealing, other than to simply tell you that it is appealing. I mean, look up above, I put more effort into it that she did. Instead of eyes of sapphire, bronze hair, and a body sculpted by the God of the purest white marble in all the the Earth, she would simply say, “beautiful,” … several times.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Greyson-Scott/100001496753496 Greyson Scott

    Noah, padre, having a mind for someone’s physicality does not make you a pig, neither does speaking your mind. On the other hand, and you kind of said this, nothing Kristen Stewart is involved in could touch “The Avengers” as that was about as perfect a “superhero movie” as you are ever going to see. Back a few months ago I was really hoping you would do a vlog on “The Grey” because I thought, in my admittedly highly unprofessional opinion, that it was a very decent movie. One more thing, I would kind of like you to do some sort of retrospective on the “Blade” trilogy (I have a very strong dislike for Ryan Reynolds by the way and every line that came out of his mouth in “Blade: Trinity felt like a half-assed one liner, which very much wore on me as the movie went on, unprofessional opinion yet again.) and I would definitely be willing to send you all three movies if you would do so. Just throwing that out there in case you weren’t sure what to do when you have finished the “Ultima IX” autopsy. I thought “Blade 2″ was the best of the 3, having the most threatening villain and the best story (not to mention Ron Pearlman, whom I think is somewhat of a badass, even if he is the same sort of character in every movie he’s in). But yeah, I will send you all of the Blade movies if you are ever willing to do a retrospective of them. You could probably inject a little comic book lore in there to since your’s would be the word I trusted on the matter, except for Lewis’ xP

  • MediaGold

         Saw this today with my daughter who’s a teenager this is targeted at and we both meh’d at this.  I wouldn’t stay Kristen Stewart is a plain looking gal, she’s pretty attractive IMHO, but it’s true she can not act.  She tried to pull off the unselfish, gracious goody two-shoes, but I just couldn’t separate her from the bitchy, stuck-up cow she is in reality.  She also does this look all the time that supposed to relay anger or fear, but instead she just looks like she’s getting annoyed by smelling something bad.

         Also, the name of the movie is “Snow White and the Huntsman”, but actually little happens between the two.  The only thing that happens is Hunty gets a little need for some necrophilia and gives day old dead Bella a speech and a snoog.  There’s a hint of some sort of affection, but instead of going the tragic Roman Holiday route or the ambiguous My Fair Lady way or the typical happily forever ever spiel, we get nothing but a shared look with about a football field between them.  That’s it.

        If I were you, I’d pass on this one.  Maybe give the big budget version of Goldilocks and the Three Bears a try…?  We’ll see.  Oh, if you’re out there Spoony, you MUST do a vlog review of the far better (here’s hoping) movie starring Charlize coming out next week – PROMETHEUS! 

  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/ZQU55LVJGIITPS4VZ4IA7XRY6U Moggy

    Saw the ad in the cinema, queen looking in teh mirror “whos the fairest” then HER face pops up and I yelled “NOOOO SHE IS NOT!” srsly i love brunettes with curves but dang NO. I figured maybe they meant fair like “equitable” but clearly they don’t. So …. whaaa… I guess I’m a pig too.

  • TheVGamer

     Someone tried to make a point where, because beauty is so subjective, Kristen Stewart would’ve been perceived as “fairer” than Charlize in Europe at that time period. It’s a weak argument but good enough to suspense disbelief for me. She’s bad as an actress, of course, but the prettier part is debatable.

    • Garret02

       No she wouldn’t. Both of them would be undesireable in Middle Age Europe as they are to thin.

  • arjumand

    I actually love this review, I really do. And no, you’re not a pig, as others have said already – actually, you know who the real pigs are? The makers of this movie, who cast Kristen Stewart as someone who needs to be “the fairest one of all”, even if the beautiful but evil Queen wasn’t Charlize Theron, who is, objectively speaking, an incredibly beautiful woman.

    The movie really lays bare the Hollywood tyranny that women over thirty are now old, and must bow down to the twenty-somethings, even in roles which call for beauty, objectively speaking. Because they chose Kristen Stewart, a woman who is moderately attractive, given lots of make-up and being shot at flattering angles, the message seems to be: someone younger is always going to be more beautiful, lol. Get ready for the grandma roles, Charlize!

    I mean, the same message was in We Bought a Zoo (I know, I know. Matt Damon does things to me), where Matt didn’t give a second glance to the milfs who kept wanting to feed him, but immediately fell for Scarlett Johanssen who reminded us in her first scene, is TWENTY-EIGHT YEARS OLD. But at least Scarlett is stunning and can actually act (kinda. I liked her in Avengers, though).

    They couldn’t have found someone with the colouring Snow-White is supposed to have and who is beautiful, for this role? Acting ability wasn’t essential, this is Snow-White, after all. Kristen Stewart was chosen for the Twilight connection, you say? But, speaking as someone who teaches a lot of teenage girls, Bella isn’t really the reason Twilight is so popular. The reason is Mr Non-threatening SparklyVamp and his frenemy, Shirtless Werewolf Guy. Bella is there as a self-insertion, so teenage girls (and, um, their moms) can get together with Edward or Jacob.

    Will I watch the movie? Well, I won’t pay for it, but Chris Hemsworth is just so very mmmmmm. Just for him, I’ll put up with Miss Dead Eyes and No Facial Expression.

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/CKSCT4HO7LDOMO23YXPYCRQK6E Darcy

      Well, it’s not so much that the Twilight connection comes from Kristen Stewart herself, but rather her connection to the Twilight name. Yeah, most girls probably don’t go see a Twilight movie because of Stewart, but considering Twilight was technically successful, she’s more likely to be hired because she was part of the films.

      So I think the reasoning behind that is more along the lines of “Liked Twilight? Well here’s something similar to it!” If that makes sense.

      • arjumand

        Yeah, I guess you’re right. Anything to get bums on seats, I guess. 

        Also, in the trailers they were really trying to turn it into one of those movies where Cate Blanchett puts on a suit of armour and leads men into battle with her long hair flapping in the wind – actually, now I come to think of it, Joan of Arc. The whole trailer I watched had a very Joan of Arcish feel to it.

        I wonder if this one will succeed where Mirror Mirror failed – though I kinda knew that movie was gonna tank when I saw the trailer. When there aren’t enough funny moments in your fairytale/comedy to even put in the TRAILER, you’re in trouble. The set design and costumes looked amazing – that’s Tarsem Singh for you, but you have to have a script with some jokes in it if you want to sell it as a comedy.

  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/ZQU55LVJGIITPS4VZ4IA7XRY6U Moggy

    I think I figured it out, it’s not that KS is ugly – it’s that she’s kinda unremarkable. Snow White would have benefitted from casting someone whose face stands out in a crowd, someone who you could really compare and say ‘wow that’s different’ whose face you’d remember if you saw it just that once. I don’t know who that might be though. Someone suggest?

    • Patrick Coyle

      I’ll agree with that.  At best, she’s attractive in an ordinary, forgettable kind of way.  I guess whoever cast this movie doesn’t realize that “no obvious glaring flaws” doesn’t equal “beautiful.”

    • Danni Marie

      The choices that first came to me for the role of Snow White based on beauty are Jennifer Lawrence and Emilia Clarke… at least they would be in the same reality beauty-wise as Theron.

    • lkraider

      It should have been Anne Hathaway for sure.

  • Garret02

    Ha! I knew it. From the moment I clicked “play” I was waiting for you to point out that on no plane Kristen is hotter/more beautiful than Charlize and I agree completely. If I was watching this movie at the cinema (I didn’t see it and don’t plan to), at the scene with a mirror I would scream “Bullshit!”.

  • Ralf van Goch

    wtf “too busy doing reviews?”

    • http://www.deviantart.com/chibigingi ChibiGingi

       Crossovers with other reviewers, most likely.  It’s not like he just sits on his ass, sippin’ Brandy and takes 10 minutes to write, record and post reviews up. 

  • http://twitter.com/startiller StarTiller

    If you really want to do a toss up, it should be Cabin in The Woods (which Chris Hemsworth [Thor] is in), Avengers, or Snow White. However, I’ll pass up this movie no matter how enticing Hemsworth is or for Nick Frost made a cameo.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ROVPV7XLP6R5SWRQIP7X2VZLNI Theodor

    My opinion is that in all versions of the story the mirror is the actual main villain because it fucks with the queen’s mind by just making stuff up. It’s all the mirror’s fault. :3

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ROVPV7XLP6R5SWRQIP7X2VZLNI Theodor

    My opinion is that in all versions of the story the mirror is the actual main villain because it fucks with the queen’s mind by just making stuff up. It’s all the mirror’s fault. :3

  • http://twitter.com/MsMeiriona Celeste LaScala

    I’ll stick with my Once Upon A Time, thanks. Ginnifer Goodwin as badass Snow is much more my style.

  • http://twitter.com/PenHellbourne Tim Edgren

    spoony..don’t feel like a pig. both me and my girlfriend agreed stewart was not pretty, and definitely not prettier. I would have watched this if not for kristen stewart. I didn’t join the stewart hate bandwagon, I BUILT it.

  • Redbob86

    Spoony, NEVER EVER appologize for talking about a woman’s appearance.  It’s just another thing people talk about on an unofficial scale, much like movies themselves.  I was actually really confused on why you felt the need to appologize when saying you found a lot of women in DC to be hot?  Why is that mean?  If anything it’s a compliment since all you did was say positive things.

  • Klarden

    Well, maybe the magic mirror became kinda distorted with time.

    But yeah, thing with Kristen is that she’s kinda cute. Cute. As in late teenage cute. She’s not… womanly enough, for “fairest of them all”.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1813118664 Reza Stephen Lustig

    The Queen is hotter, both in this movie, and in the original. That’s right: I’ve got the hots for the animated Evil Queen. I’d totally hit that.

  • dennett316

     The Ultima video was, what, 2 days ago?  Are you fucking serious?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kevin-Fumero/100000153843491 Kevin Fumero

    Shut up! Stop apologizing! Clear minded people know that you are right. Its not out of line to say that KStewart is uglier than Theron! 

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/George-Rosenbaum/100001387887487 George Rosenbaum

      Gah! I’m sorry for apologizing!


  • http://profile.yahoo.com/H7TKQGNJBC4KZMZHLSWPLV6D4A dont

    Well obviously it’s a matter of preference. I happen to think she’s quite cute; not the fairest of them all but much hotter than “below average” IMO.

  • Namura

    I’d have liked to see Emily Browning as Snow White tbh…think i read somewhere that she turned down the chance to audition for the Bella Swan role, coincidentally. But yeah… KS as Snow White…..I dont get that casting choice at all.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cart-Man/100002326540155 Cart Man

    The premise of the tale that Snow White is supposed to be a more beautiful woman than the Queen..when it’s clearly apparent the actress portraying Snow White is really just the “girl next door,plain jane” type of gal pretty much undermines the entire point of the fairy tale.It’s just bad casting.
    No-one can really dispute that and it isnt a sexist pig type of observation.

  • http://www.facebook.com/frauen1 Frank Rauen

    The Kristen Stewart thing is kind of true but I’ve found that in most adaptations the queen has been hotter than Snow White. The only one I didn’t feel that way in was Mirror Mirror (Which blew by the way). In this movie didn’t they also say she was destined to become fairest not that she was at that point?

    • http://www.facebook.com/christian.sackmann.33 Christian Sackmann

      I think that Twilight has such a big (female) fanbase because the main actress was average_hot. (As far as I know, thats the case in the books, too.) Gives every girl a “this could happen to you” feeling…

      Now concerning Snow White, I think she was picked mainly because 1. She is famous and 2. She was availible.

      End of Story

  • Patrick Coyle

    After his comments on Snow White and prison muscles, does anyone else think it’d be awesome to see a game where a fairytale princess breaks out of her tower and goes all Splinter Cell on her captors?

  • Josh Hahn

    Dear Hollywood: enough with the damn shakycam!  I almost walked out of Hunger Games, because of it!  Is there some reason I shouldn’t be allowed to see what is transpiring on screen?  Do directors suddenly think I can’t understand the idea of violent action by SEEING IT?!  I could cut out the visual component of most shakycam shots and replace them with a Batman-style “POW”, or “BANG” and not lose anything!  I haven’t seen this movie, but if it has even a little of the damn shakycam, I’ll wait for the rental!

    • http://www.facebook.com/frauen1 Frank Rauen

      In Hunger Games I think they did it to get a PG-13, they didn’t want to show all the  child killing. It is an annoying trend though, I especially hate it during calm scenes like in the Bourne Ultimatum during a dinner scene.

      • Patrick Coyle

        The only time I’ve ever seen shakycam used to good effect is when it’s important to feel the confusion and chaos of the characters on-screen, meaning you’re seeing the equivalent of

        a.) Charging into German machine guns at Normandy.
        b.) Being ambushed by Batman.

        …A shakycam dinner scene?  For real?

        • http://www.facebook.com/frauen1 Frank Rauen

          Yeah two treadstone heads were talking in it and the camera literally lost focus from the shake and the top of one of the employees heads went off screen. It was like Waiter-cam and the waiter was epileptic.

  • http://www.facebook.com/TimMalear Tim Malear


  • Danni Marie

    Spoony, you are not a “pig” for stating the truth about Kristen Stewart. From the moment I saw the trailer, my immediate reaction was “Seriously?? In what reality is Kristen Stewart EVER going to be anywhere near as gorgeous as Charlize Theron?!”

    I’m right there with ya.


    Spoony, you are NOT a “pig” for stating something that most people know that Kristen Stewart isn’t a honey.  If you started talking about how much you wanted to bang some actress or shit like that then OK maybe then.

    Good to see more videos from you Spoony.  Thanks again.

  • Joshua Austin

    Kristen was probably just a popular teen girl actress to get.  They are going for the Twilight crowd why wouldn’t they cheer for Bella again?

  • Patrick Brown

    I just thought of something…are you getting payed to drink soda while holding it in such a way that everyone can see it, and if not…you should.

    • http://twitter.com/rbsmcgrath Ryan McGrath

       He made a joke about that in one of his old reviews I think. He jokingly said he was being sponsored by Taco Bell (shame I can’t remember which review).

      • http://twitter.com/Chibithor Chibithor

        That would be Demolition Man

  • http://www.facebook.com/frauen1 Frank Rauen

    Also on Kristin Stewarts hotness. I’ll admit I think she has a girl next door kind of vibe when she isn’t in Twilight in that she has a crazy sociopath vibe. And keep in mind that beauty is subjective so it the optimal actress will be different for everyone. The consensus does seem to be that she isn’t hot though. I think the biggest reason she was chosen for the role was because she is one of the palest women in Hollywood. Because in the fairytale Snow White has skin white as snow and hair black as night, not much else is said about her.

    • http://twitter.com/mephetti Christine Rowe

      I agree with everything you said, but would like to add: in addition to being subjective, I think beauty is very much dependant on the attitude of the person whose beauty is being “judged”. A very beautiful woman can become average when she looks lifeless and bored, while a more “average” one can be strikingly beautiful when she’s happy and confident. IMO Kristen’s attitude and acting (constant mubling, mouth hanging open, always confused etc.) is what makes her look so average.

      • http://www.facebook.com/frauen1 Frank Rauen

        You also have to consider societal standards of beauty. For example in India and Asia very pale skin is a sign of beauty and dark skin isn’t. Heavy-set women were beautiful in African cultures for hundreds of thousands of years because it was a sign of fertility and being well-off financially. The point is that I don’t think Spoony is a pig for saying that Stewart is below average but that criticism isn’t as relevant as say Theron’s hammy acting or the production because it is so subjective. I also personally disagree with him on Stewart being a bad actor, she is good in movies like Adventureland, Panic Room, Zathura, and the Runaways. She just isn’t an actor that can turn bad writing into a good or enjoyable performance like some actors can. As an actress she can’t stand completely on her own, she has to be supported by good direction and a good script which makes her passable as an actress. She isn’t a Nicolas Cage.

  • Skolex

     I’m kinda iffy on this movie, because Kristen Stewart always has this look on her face no matter what she’s doing. It’s like she’s eternally confounded as to what’s going on. Facial expressions are a part of the acting process…and she just doesn’t seem to get it. Furthermore, I’ve got whiter skin and blacker hair than her, does that mean I should’ve gotten the role? Anyone could be made up to look like Snow White, and has been. They’re simply catering to the Twilight craze. Oh, and shaky-cam gives me terrible headaches, so no thanks on that aspect either.

  • Luke_Duke

    Jeez Spoony, you don’t need to apologize for saying that Kristen Stewart isn’t as hot as Charlize Theron.  Anybody who would get upset at you for it is simply WAY too oversensitive and needs to learn to deal with the fact that ALL people everywhere do, in fact, take physical appearance into account.  You don’t find her particularly attractive – that’s not something to be ashamed of and it certainly doesn’t make you a pig.

    Now as for me personally, I’ll go ahead and disagree with you (somewhat).  I find Stewart moderately attractive.  She’s above average and I certainly wouldn’t turn her away if I had the chance.  However, she’s nowhere near a perfect 10 out of 10.  And, let’s face facts, she’s simply not as hot as Charlize Theron.

    Her acting though – you’re spot fucking on on that account!

  • fatalrob0t

    eeeh… one thing. Bella is described as Normal. Average. She’s brown haired and she describes herself as being exceedingly pale and sallow cheeks. And yet, all of these guys are tripping over themselves to have her. And it certainly isn’t her personality that draws them in.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Marco-Gracia/100000122473973 Marco Gracia

    Personally, I wouldn’t say that the fact that Kristen Stewart is in no way, shape or form “fairest of them all” material (I’m not saying she’s unattractive, but she’s just “girl next door” late-teenage cute, not beautiful) actually breaks the story or anything, but I can definitely understand that it weakens it. Honestly, in many of the versions I find the Queen looks hotter than Snow White (I chalk it up to different values: Snow White is envisioned as very virginal and pure, but nowadays we prefer sexiness), so it’s not like there isn’t precedent for this. But that, combined with Kristen Stewart’s lack of any kind of emotional range or acting talent (though she is admittedly a bit better here than Twilight, as if that’s a high standard), really was what made me go from “not bad” to “meh” on this movie. I’ll make this clear, BTW: I DON’T hate Kristen Stewart. I think she isn’t cut out for acting, and I absolutely LOATHE both the movies she was in and the character she played, but a paycheck’s a paycheck, and I don’t begrudge actors for being in shit movies, especially not bad actors, since it helps keep them away from the good movies. If Shia Lebouf wants to be in every Michael Bay movie made from now on, good, let him have that and he can stay the hell away from the stuff I’ll actually watch.

  • born2sing92

    You shouldn’t feel bad about commenting on Kristen Stewart’s attractiveness. I’m a girl and I said the same thing when the trailer called her “the fairest of them all.” Since Snow White’s beauty is a major plot point, it is fair to criticize the attractiveness of the actress. The reality is that being an actor means understanding that your physical appearance DOES matter just as much as good acting. Unfortunately, Kristen Stewart has neither going for her.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/ELRLBG5O7UHUFNCKTNB2A6SS64 Georg

     Thanks for the review. Good take on the whole thing. I appreciate how you’re trying to be more of a critic rather than being a dude talking about a film. Or at least balance it in a very interesting way. I like that.

    Anyhow, two things I would like to comment on: First – no need to apologize about the Twilight girl not being the fairest of them all. It’s a fact and …well, the story is based on her being the most beautiful thing on earth basically. I can’t see anybody getting worked up about you mentioning that.

    Second thing, and that keeps on astounding me: The film has lotsa violence, war and all that and is said to be pretty dark at times but the very short fake-nudie scenes of Charlize Theron is the reason it’s not for kids? This irked me about your review of Trick or Treat (if I remember the name right. It was this kind of Halloween anthology film featuring Sackboy) – A film with a multitude of scenes of murder featuring a hideous monstrosity in the background and the few seconds of skinny dipping or what it was is the reason this is not a kids film? That’s some WEIRD priorities there. Of course that’s not an issue I got with you personally because I think that’s more of a thing of the general US public. Just something that’s really weird to me.

  • Daniel Hedeblom

    Waiting for Prometheus video Spoony!!!!

  • draxo

    Agreed on every point.  She is NOT hotter. She is average.

  • C Porter

    Dude, Spoony, get a haircut.

    • http://www.facebook.com/rabblesthebinx Brian Frang

      Dude, Spoony, don’t get a haircut.

  • Visionary70

    Good review Spoony I doubt it ends the way the Grimm Fairy Tale ends….

    “…Not knowing that this new queen was indeed her stepdaughter, she arrives
    at the wedding, and her heart fills with the deepest of dread when she
    realizes the truth. As punishment for her wicked ways, a pair of heated
    iron shoes are brought forth with tongs and placed before the Queen. She
    is then forced to step into the iron shoes and dance until she drops


  • pharaoh025

    When you mentioned Kristen Stewart getting prison muscle, I got a flashback to Linda Hamilton in T2…. Woulda made for a whooooole different movie.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000064305389 Francis Christofis

    I just wanted to mention this

    considering that Charlize Therone is in Promethus, Her Character is very similar in the fact that she over acts the evil character but in Prometheus, she does one thing in particular that annoys me greatly that went you see it happen towards the end of the movie, you will understand how annoying it is

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_NPSAE6IOXGRERAEMT2LQSIQYKQ Sebastian

    Kristen Stewart constantly looks like she’s just overdosed on Valium and is on the verge of collapsing. So yeah, not really hot, but rather worrying.

  • http://www.youtube.com/deathwing107 deathwing107

    Someone like Emma Stone or Mila Kunis would have been better. They’re still young but in recent movies they have a more womanly vibe to them… unfortunately I haven’t seen Emma Stone do much more than comedy movies (apparently she’s in the new Spiderman Movie coming soon) and Mila Kunis… may… not still fit best with Snow White either but at least better than Kristen Stewart. If anything they should have brought in someone who was fairly new to the industry or at least didn’t have a big name already as Snow White, since there are greater differing opinions people seem to have on how attractive well known female movie stars are.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/ILASDJNSOXS7KCANJNOO7SQZUU Jean-Rene' W

    Hmm, over the course of time I knew, I just -knew- that this movie’s weak link would be Kristen Stewart. And all in all, it would seem that I was right. But you brought up a truth that I hadn’t considered; that Kristen Stewart most certainly isn’t more attractive then Charlize Theron. But gauging on sheer looks, who would one cast? Maybe this should have been Rihanna’s first picture. Or mayhaps Olivia Munn. 

    • Simoneer

      Seriously, Rihanna?

      • http://profile.yahoo.com/ILASDJNSOXS7KCANJNOO7SQZUU Jean-Rene' W

        Well no, not really. I’m just sayin’ that Rihanna, a black pop-singer with no acting abilities and almost not acting credits would still make a better Snow White then Kristen Stewart. Word. You know what I mean? Was doin’ “a thing”. 

  • Demi86

    I agree in every aspect on Kristen Stewart, it’s not piggish, it’s true. Suspension of disbelief only goes so far and a major aspect of Ravenna’s character is that she is threatened by Snow White surpassing her in beauty….and Kristen Stewart is a perennial scrawny average teen next to a veritable Goddess. Unfortunately they went for well known over convincing in the casting of Snow White. Google Riley Keough, Bella Heathcote and Alicia Vikander; they were all actresses who were being considered and something tells me that if one of them had been cast Spoony (and myself) would have had one less thing to bitch about.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_IXYNHTOVAC2KT4OJJKLCRGQBJA turbler

    Always glad to see another Spoony Video =)
    Here’s how I would have forced the queen to keep Snow White alive: Put an age cap on her beauty draining spell (make it only hit adults, basically). So, the vain queen, desiring to steal the beauty from the ‘fairest of them all’, keeps Snow alive until she hits 18 so then she can steal her beauty as well.
    PS: If somebody else proposed this already, then I’m very sorry, but I don’t feel like going through ~150 comments to make sure it hasn’t been said.

  • http://www.facebook.com/angel.llera Angel R. Llera Padro

    Spoony! Try reading up on Exalted (White Wolf), in particular 2nd edition, the queen pulls some magic that is quite literally ripped off from Abyssals, it’s kinda stunning. Also might be a good RP system to review by itself.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Christina-Masterson/100001614060238 Christina Masterson

    No you’re RIGHT Spoony! Kristen has never been that attractive. She’s about as captivating as burnt toast

  • UrsaNight

    Yeah dude it’s okay about the whole Kristen Stewart not being hot thing. As a lady, I’d be baffled my anyone who would think that Charlize Theron isn’t 1000x prettier than Kristen Stewart. 

  • UrsaNight

    I agree about the whole Kristen Stewart not being attractive. Charlize Theron is 1000x more beautiful, and you’re not a pig for thinking that. Beauty is a HUGE plot point in the Snow White fairy tale- it kind of sets off a character conflict so it’s fair to point it out. 

    It’d be interesting if in another adaptation, the mirror still thought that the Evil Queen was still the most beautiful, but the fact that a plain jane Snow White gets more attention and love b/c she’s not an evil bitch drives the queen to be incredibly jealous as she realizes that beauty isn’t everything. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/james.payette.7 James Payette

    Cut your damn hair Spoony!

    • Erebus_Locke

      Its ugly, but he said it was on purpose. He wanted to play Loki on the TGWTG-movie or something.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1442290943 Derek Thomas

         Thank heavens…

    • Simoneer

      For once I agree with such a comment. I usually think it’s people’s own business, but this hair of his looks awkward as fuck, especially around the forehead. At the very least he should stop pulling it backwards and just let it hang on the sides.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=579004368 Glen Garner

    omg this is a real film i thought it was porn!!!

  • TheLonelySandPerson

    I’ve struggled with classifying that kind of movie, too. I guess it’s technically fantasy, though the term conjures up images of wizards and dragons, which isn’t accurate to such a low-magic setting. It’s really just swashbuckling with only a hint of the supernatural.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/LWYUYPCGV2WJ2Q3BOKK5N7HZGQ LilBryan

    A very interesting review and a nice contrast to Brad’s review. Honestly Spoony, I would suggest you go view his review and talk with him about his opinions on it. It would be interesting to hear the two of you talk about it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=640530637 Denny Wellman

    Oh God, you ARE turning into Loki!! DAT HAIR!

  • Simoneer

    I don’t think Stewart is below average, but she’s certainly not “hottest woman alive” material (and even far from), indeed.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Lenne-Shuyin/100002432893015 Lenne Shuyin

    I happen to love your hair spoons, try a pony……arnt ya gonna marry me spoons,gotta give ya credit though,Theres not been to many things I couldnt buy with my being a trust fund baby, but your one of them, makes me need ya more, but Ill settle for the videos..:)

  • NaclynE

    Stuff I found to be odd, unnesesaryly LOL, or kind of dumb *Spoilers ahead*:

    1- Charlize Theron at the start was sporting major cleavage but then later on wasn’t. What gives.

    2- Charlize Theron put WAAAAAAY to much into her character. Rangeing from epic evil speeches to maniacly screaming. Reminded me to much of Jeremy Irons in the first D&D movie with lines like “LET THE FIRE RAAAAIN FROM THE SKYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!” mixed with unesesary body shaeking. LOL.

    3-Chris Hemmsworth (Thor) kept getting his but kicked surprsingly. LOL.

    4- Snow White quoted the bible when your first introduced to her as an adult. Why was this needed exactly?

    5- In a scene where Snow White (The actress from the TWILIGHT MOVIES) says “You have no idea what I have been thorugh”. I laughed and I said “Don’t get me started” because it made me think to much of the stuff she did in the TWILIGHT MOVIES.

    6-When the evil brother died I noticed part of the tree pierced throw his “pants”. I laughed and shook my head.

    Overall it was ok but not all that great. I was berry disapointed.

    PS: I agree with Lenne Shuyin. When I had a pony tail the ladies loved it. :-)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1442290943 Derek Thomas

    Horrible Hair Noah. Just awful. You look incredibly unmanly.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1442290943 Derek Thomas

    This new look is bad. The first time I saw it I almost turned off your review. I’m glad I didn’t, but still, it disturbs me.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Lenne-Shuyin/100002432893015 Lenne Shuyin

    rewatchting this I had the feeling I was watching selphie tillmitt,sorry spoons but until the flip is gone do a pony

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Wendy-Weissman/508127113 Wendy Weissman

    Spoony—take it from a hard-core feminist—- you’re not being some kind of lone pig by saying that about Kristen Stewart. It was the first thing I mentioned when I heard about this flick. The only time Charlize Theron has ever looked less hot than Kristen Stewart was when she was in Monster. When the film is dealing with the subject of physical beauty, it’s not chauvinistic to bring something like that up. Kristen Stewart in no way outdoes Charlize Theron in the looks department. HORRIBLE casting.


  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Caio-Trubat/100002080389485 Caio Trubat

    I will disagree with most people here, even though beauty is a major plot point to the fairy tale, I think they were trying to focus on inner beauty rather than physical. Snow White is pure of heart, gentle and noble, while the Queen is morally repulsive. That is my guess of what they were aiming for.

    • http://www.facebook.com/nickblas Nicholas Blas

       If that was the case, the Queen wouldn’t have been fairer than anyone.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sebastian-Proano/610127942 Sebastian Proaño

    The thing is, it’s REALLY HARD to find a woman more beautiful than Charlize Theron. I mean she’s not only drop dead gorgeous, she has this classy, old-Hollywood-style-look that is not really easy to surpass. Kristen Stewart isn’t an ogre by any means, but she is NOT more beautiful than Theron… and it’s not only a matter of beauty, is a matter of presence.

    And even if we just forget about the physical beauty part of the story (even thou is the essential part of if, like it or not), Stewart doesn’t have the acting chops to go against Theron… Is like throwing Keanu Reeves against Al Pacino (yeah, I know… Devil’s Advocate), he would be just blown away.

    Hell, if they wanted to go with the Twilight related casting, why not Ashley Greene?

    She’s certainly a better actress and has actual charisma…

  • http://twitter.com/Melodious_Maya Maya Medina

    Would you all shut up about his hair and listen to the review?

    • Turkey OnAStick

      You can’t. Not commenting on his lank long hair is avoiding the elephant in the room.

      • Petey0707

        I don’t even see the big deal. He wants long hair, its not the first time, ignore it because honestly – he looks the god damn same! Well to me at least.

      • http://twitter.com/Melodious_Maya Maya Medina

        He’s reviewing a movie, not walking down a runaway.
        If you don’t like how his hair looks. Fine. Shut up.
        Don’t plague the review with fashion tips.

        There are some people out there who like Noah for what he does,
        not how he looks.

        • Turkey OnAStick

          I come to his site for Let’s Plays and game reviews.
          Not his opinions on a movie.

          Also lay off the “Shut up” comments. It’s incredibly obnoxious, and certainly more damaging to the comments section than comments on his hair. Which he can cut.

          • http://twitter.com/Melodious_Maya Maya Medina

            Apparently not so much if people agree so much with me that they would go and ‘like’ the status.

            Big whoop.

            If the review is good and he’s actually dressed, like Petey0707 said I don’t see what’s the big deal. He looks the same, he acts the same, he gives reviews the same, nothing changed.

            If you don’t like it don’t watch.
            Don’t ruin the review for everyone else just because he has long hair.

          • Turkey OnAStick

            Your “like” point is daft. I got a “like”, too. That must mean I am also right. (?!)

            I’m only commenting because you’d rather tell certain commenters to shut up, rather than throw out your thoughts to the video.

          • http://twitter.com/Melodious_Maya Maya Medina

            I’m not sure where you got the idea of me saying ‘because people like my status I’m right’ or if the word “daft” is really necessary. I also don’t understand the random use of ‘(?!)’ or what that means.

            You commented on his hair, saying ‘not commenting on his lank long hair is avoiding the elephant in the room.’ That had nothing to do with the review.

            I thought this was a great review, even though it gives me second thoughts about going to see the movie. I liked how he was able to give solid points about the storyline without any spoilers.

            As for telling those that were constantly commenting more on his hair than the actual review itself to shut up, that was my thought that I did throw out as I watched the video.

          • Turkey OnAStick

            Why did you even bring up the “Like status”?

            About me not commenting on his vid: I don’t care. I wouldn’t tell people not to comment on his hair either. People are free to comment on what they what.

            These two things highlights how pointless this discussion is. So much so, that I can not be bothered to finis

          • http://twitter.com/Melodious_Maya Maya Medina

             Apparently you do care and this discussion was not pointless if you were truly willing to reply over and over again.

            Exactly, people are free to comment what them want. I commented and I too have freedom of speech.

            Hope your day turns out to be as fun as mine. XD

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/George-Rosenbaum/100001387887487 George Rosenbaum

      >You: “Apparently not if people agreed so much with me that they would go and ‘like’ my first comment.”

      >You: “I’m not sure where you got the idea of me saying ‘because people like my comment, I’m right’…”

      >TurkeyOnAStick: “Why did you even bring up the “Like status”?”

      While I agree with your point, I kind of want an answer to Turkey’s question.

  • spectervonbaren

    Couldn’t the Queen have kept her alive so she could take her beauty?

    • doresh

      I guess waiting several years for the last rightful heir to “ripen” for soul-taking is not really worth it if you could just order your men to pillage the next village for girls who already have the right age.

  • http://twitter.com/KatKaleen KatKaleen

    No, Spoony, you’re NOT a pig for saying that.
    Neither my sister nor I have seen the Twilight movies, and both of us neither hate nor love Kristen Stewart, but when we saw the ads and trailers for this movie we both went “WTF?”
    If you have eyes and a brain that receives visual impulses, Stewart will NEVER win over Theron.
    Stewart isn’t ugly, but she’s average. Theron is what beauty doctors try to turn their patients into.
    If I were a guy, I would rather date Stewart (she’s the girl next door), but in this movie’s context it just doesn’t work.
    She is not fairer than Theron.
    So, since we didn’t say that out of jealousy (because if there was somebody to be jealous of, it would be Theron), you are not a pig by stating the bleeding obvious.

  • http://twitter.com/nnecron Necro

    Oh Spoony stop saying that you are sorry for not liking her looks.  I know fans are very sensitive about that but being apologetic like that really makes you sound like a defensive wimp.  Be more forceful and get to your point.  We love your stuffs because of your straight forward rant and prickish lines.  If you assume us as a bunch of pussies with no backbone don’t worry.  We can take it and we may even laugh at your insane rambling.  Give us the level of rant like the TNA Impact.  

  • rowdycmoore

    I have to chuckle a little at all these “midnight screening” reviews that are being posted. Not for the reviews themselves, but that they show just how many midnight screenings there are. Weren’t movie theaters supposed to have died out 20 years ago?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kim-Ylvinger/100001611987760 Kim Ylvinger

    I’m really surprised you’re not doing a Prometheus review.

    • MediaGold

      It doesn’t open here until Friday.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Nathan-Ellis/100002419726549 Nathan Ellis

        And spoony’s in California for E3 right now.  

        • MediaGold

               Yes, that’s true.  And they don’t have movie theaters in California.  Or cameras.  Or computers.  Or the internet.

               Wait, what was your point? 

          • PeaTearGryfin

             I think he means that Spoony would probably rather see it in a theater that he is familiar with.

          • http://www.facebook.com/yami.amaterasu Yami Light

            dude do you even know what E3 is? do you know how time consuming it is? and you think he would go to a theater over E3?


          • MediaGold

                 E3 will be over by Friday, so yeah, seriously.

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Nathan-Ellis/100002419726549 Nathan Ellis

            I meant he’s busy anyway. What was the point of you being a big douche? 

          • MediaGold

                 E3 is over on the 7th, Prometheus is out on the 8th.      

                 Also, don’t you think Spoony has enough excuses already?  He’s an expert at it and I doubt he needs the help.

                 I apologize about being a massive feminine hygiene product slang term.  It’s just that morons bring it out of me.

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Nathan-Ellis/100002419726549 Nathan Ellis

            Hard time making friends?

  • Segatron

    I think that if it’s been in a plot point in the story since it was written, the looks of Snow White should be a issue to point out.  You could have made a much worse comment.

    It’s the kind of thing you’d have to point out in this story, or a movie about Helen of Troy, etc.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=690633726 Sandro Paz Rodríguez

    I think the point here is we should put a dress on spoony and let him portrait snow white…. is not like he has not dressed like a female before

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ian-Contreras/1219435856 Ian Contreras

    “Before you could even SPELL YOUR NAME…”

  • allessander

    I can’t wait to hear your thoughts on Prometheus, mainly since I heard it’s really-baaaaaaaaaad. Also, Noah, you should consider a new haircut man, you used to look so cash with shorter hair!

    • PeaTearGryfin

       How have you heard say that Prometheus was really bad? I’ve only been hearing praise for it.

      • allessander

        Various forums that I visit once in a while have all but ridiculed its half-assed, ridiculous story, from what I’ve read. I hear it’s a quite pretty movie, though, and I’m sure as hell gonna watch it, once a blu-ray version comes out, no way am I seeing it at the big screens.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Samantha-Temple/581763084 Samantha Temple

      nooooo!! keep the hair! it looks awesome!

      • allessander

        Oh, come on, he’s starting to look like some half-assed Nick Cave, and that ain’t in no way a compliment. I mean just look at that Inglorious Basterds poster he has with his face on it, it looks glorious!
        Either way, that’s just my opinion, he’ll do whatever he wants, at the end of the day.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Will-Styer/547600229 Will Styer

    You don’t need to feel bad for saying Kristen Stewart isn’t as hot as Charlize Theron, you’re totally right. Kristen has a pretty nice smile, but yeah other than that she’s not that special look wise. As for her acting, she’s not too bad in The Runaways playing Joan Jett, but the real scene stealer of that movie is Dakota Fanning. Still I would check out The Runaways, it’s a decent little indie. I haven’t read Twilight either, but I hear it’s from the perspective of Bella for the most part, so that could be why Edward and Jacob thinks she’s the hottest thing ever. I don’t think any actress could make Bella interesting though, from what I’ve gathered the character is a blank slate, nothing there really. My theory, and this may only be a revelation to me, is that the reader (who are mainly women of course) are supposed to be Bella. The reader puts their own personality in there in place of Bella’s non existent one.

  • http://www.facebook.com/charles.bates.161 Charles Bates


    • Dragdar


      he looks ridiculous.

      • Kyle Rybski

        Just needs to shower at least a day before these videos to avoid these comments.

  • Styrkjar Steißbjörn

    mmhhh…. I think the biggest problem of the Movie is Snow Whites character development….

    at first, she´s the purest soul of all, unable to hurt a living thing and even capable of calming down a Troll.
    Anf, all of a sudden, after being kissed back to life, she begins a pro-war speech. In fact, she´s leading an attack at the queens castle, causing hundreds to die……

    Despite all that, she´s still capable to beat the Queen, because of her pure heart…. thats just…. wrong…..

    aaand the Scene with the God of the Forest… ist was beautiful made, but TOTALLY pointless…….

    • doresh

      Did someone at Hollywood just add American military propaganda to one of my country’s fairy tales Oo ?

  • fanatictemplar

    I should point out that “incredibly hot” is only tangentially related to fairness. ‘Fair’ means pale. More to the point, Snow White is named because she is as fair as the new fallen snow. She’s the next thing to an albino. It is tangentially related to hotness because standards of beauty change with time and culture, and at the time the fairy tale was written, fairness was indeed a criteria of female beauty.

    Of course, it’s all irrelevant since from what I’ve seen of the trailers, Kirsten Stewart is not the fairest in the movie.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Amy-Flynn/132700402 Amy Flynn

    Hey, don’t worry about being a pig.  Me and my sister both agree that Kristen Stewart is not the fairest of them all.  PS.  Get a haircut you dang hippy!

  • Kyle Rybski

    No, Kristen Stewart isn’t all that attractive, but I would most certainly take her over Charlize Theron, at least in this movie.

    Not that I don’t think Snow White couldn’t have been far better-cast. Kristen Stewart is still a shameful choice.

  • antiquarius
  • Matthias J. Déjà

    Hey, what a spoilery review! You have spoiled almost every major plot point, to some extent. I’m happy to have seen the movie before watching your review.

    I think the queen put Snow White in jail instead of killing her because she feels a sympathic vibe going on between the two. She’s telling her that the first time she meets Snow White as a kid, and it feels honest.

    While watching the movie, it occurred to me that the dark forest is a metaphor for the queen’s subconcious mind. If you watch the movie with that in mind, there is a lot of other metaphors and metaphorical logic to discover. However, unfortunately they didn’t follow this all too strictly. I think this would have given the movie another interesting dimension.

    • PeaTearGryfin

       If you don’t want spoilers then you are on the wrong site my friend. It’s kind of a given when you watch a vlog on this site that he is going to spoil to the movie. As for the metaphors, I don’t know, I think you may be reading a bit too much into this.

      • antiquarius

         Oh look its Looser McFanboy. Defending his Lord and Master even with such unimportant matters.

      • Merost

         Get a life

        • PeaTearGryfin

           Will you and antiquaris fuck off already. I point one little thing that is pretty well known about the site and you bite off my head for it. Hell, my post was more about the supposed metaphors in the movie then the spoilers anyway. Do you losers have nothing better to do than stalk me and raise hell every opportunity you get. Hey, by the way I think you forgot to give your opinion on the review. Oh that’s right, this isn’t site content because it isn’t a scripted review or a Let’s Play.

          • MikeBester

             Get a life

      • Matthias J. Déjà

        Sorry, I don’t aggree. Spoony’s review of The Avengers is not spoilery at all, and just as fun and interesting to watch. There is your counter example.

        It’s a bit harsh of you telling me that I am wrong on this site. Are you the official bouncer here? In the same sentence, you call me your friend, which in this context is a bit creepy. Maybe you didn’t want to sound all too rude. Well, in that case, maybe you shouldn’t tell me in the first place that I’m on the wrong site here.

        The Snow White movie is based on a fairy tale. Fairy tales sometimes serve as classical examples for psychological and sociological metaphors, often involving the subconcious. (Freud’s book “Die Traumdeutung” about psychological dream analysis comes to my mind.)

        I think it’s not all too far fetched to expect the movie makers to at least be aware of this fact, and the different roles that fairy tales play in our society. And if so, they certainly have asked themselves how their interpretation of a classical fairy tale should relate to that. So why not look for clues?

  • Robert Mura

    I love how Chris Hemsworth is just “Thor” through the entire review.  Typecast much? ;)

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jose-Batista/100000952184779 Jose Batista

      Welp.. as long as it inspires more movie studios to make good action movies centered around the guy, I don’t see it as bad thing.

  • Arjan Broekman

    Snowwhite is a big pile piece of shit.
    The only thing this movie has going is the scenery.
    Acting is really really really bad. Only Thor could turn a smile on my face. Don’t watch this movie if you want to enjoy utter boredom till the end.
    Charlize Theron made my cringe, she can’t play angry or frustrated it doesn’t work.

    Spoony either way you are drunk/high when you saw this ridiculous piece of garbage or you got a lot of money for making a positive review.

    I liked the fairy tale and which way they wanted to go, but the actors couldnt make it happen. Remember the director’s name, engrave it in your memory, he makes shit.

  • Benjamin Giordano

    Just how did a movie review about snow-white, erupt into a discussion about Spoonys hair?

  • Grehem Belly

    Damn you Spoony! Why not “Prometeus”?! I`m really interested in your opinion on this one, since you’re such a fan of “Alien” series.

    • PeaTearGryfin

       According to his Twitter feed, he just go home today. I can imagine that he will most likely see it within the next few days.

  • http://twitter.com/Rorrinho Rodrigo Hernández

    Yeah… Had most of the same complaints.

    Loved the Snow White pumping iron interpretation. Jajaja.

    Also, yeah, I’ll be surprised if a still of Charlize Theron doesn’t become a meme eventually. I found that sort of overacting to be Nicolas Cage level.

  • Merost
  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Stephan-Pettersen/596340096 Stephan Pettersen

     My Duckface approves of your views on this movie.

  • Aiyana Core

    This is going to sound really cheezy and all but what I got from the mirror saying “fairest of them all”, I took the mirror talking about beauty from within.  Snow Whites mother mentioned that in the beginning of the movie when she was a child, so the reason why The Queen was defeated is because she misinterprets this as outside beauty. I mean in the flash back her mother even says that to The Queen, “beauty is your greatest power…” and all that other junk.  Though as I said, that’s what I got from it.  I feel like Kristen Stewart is trying but she still has a LOONG way to go, perhaps getting away from the Twilight might help her in the distant future.  Again, this is just my opinion lol 

  • ocelotish

    As a bit of an artist they’re very different types. Stewart is very much the girl-next-door and cute look (which seems right considering she’s 22-ish?) whereas Theron is sultry. If I had to judge objectively, yes, Theron is better, but it’s very hard when you’d judging two different types of attractiveness. If you go for more of the sultry type, more power to you! A good comparison for men is like comparing a very built jock and a thin and sleek martial artist type: which is cuter? It’s hard to say because there isn’t a direct comparison; some people will like the broad guy and some will like the slim one.

    Also, bear in mind that that the movie would take place when they’re at the same level of fairness: the first day the mirror says Snow White is fairer, Snow White is still maturing and the queen would still be aging. It’s almost more of a future threat.

  • eric jordan

    So in other Words 90 minutes of Oreo and the Squeeky Toy would be an oscar level movie in comarison to Prometheus..

    Og Oreo Go.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Bennett-LaRue/100000392184293 Bennett LaRue

    Dude, I mocked the fuck out of this movie when I watched it, made all kinds of jokes at its expense and picked it apart (and had a lot of fun, actually–the movie entertained me, so I felt it was decent), but the point I stressed the most when talking about it to other people was that no, Kristen Stewart is not hotter than Charlize Theron. You beat yourself up by saying that talking about that makes you sound like a pig, but come on–when a key, stress on that, KEY part of the plot is that one character is more beautiful than another, the actors chosen for those parts need to actually represent it. Kristen Stewart isn’t ugly by any means,  but nor is she “fairer” than Charlize Theron.

    Unless by “fair” the mirror actually meant pale-skinned, because Stewart has to be the palest woman in Hollywood right now.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1133110802 Ashley Amaral

      (I haven’t actually watched this review yet but this comment caught my eye)

      I could go on about how beauty is subjective, and it is, but if we’re interpreting “fair” as strictly appearances here, consider this: It’s pretty heavily implied that the mirror is a figment of her imagination. When her brother’s watching her talk to it, he sees nothing – They wouldn’t have shown that if they were trying to tell you something. If she’s imagining the mirror, then it’s preying on her innermost insecurities, that someone is more beautiful than her. The fact that other people think she’s more “beautiful” (or even that they have a more beautiful actress) means pretty much nothing in the story if you take that into consideration. 

  • Patrick Coyle

    So three of my nieces (ages 13-17, which puts them smack in the “Kristen Stewart” demographic) went to see this movie a couple nights back.  The youngest one has decided that the only things Kristen knows how to do is stammer and bite her lip, and when Snow White gets swarmed by bats, the oldest one remarked that even in a different movie, Bella can’t escape blood-sucking monsters.  None of the three have any clue why she has a career.

    They mentioned a scene where Snow has crazy hallucinations though, which made us decide on something we WOULD like to see: an SNL skit where Snow White is constantly nagged by Edward’s New Moon-style force ghost.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jake.retz Jake Retz

    Thank you! Kristen Stewart is NOT hotter than Charlize Theron in any universe in any time!

  • http://twitter.com/ihaveno_life Katrin

    Besides the brother, I assumed that Snow White was kept alive because she had been nice and told the Queen she was beautiful, which meant more because everyone thought Snow White was beautiful. OR it seemed that the Queen could only harvest adult women, so perhaps she was just waiting for Snow White to grow up so she could harvest her.

    I definitely felt from this movie, that they pushed really hard to make strong females. For a long time, many fairytales depict weak women, or women as objects. I’ve read some analysis on Snow White, that the voice of the mirror is suppose to be the king or some powerful male figure. I think that’s where the Queen’s hatred of men comes from. The backstory is sort of hinting at that as well, but it doesn’t completely work.

    The movie sort of bounces between following the fairytale and being dreamlike, and making it meta, modern, and realistic. That with the length and Kristan Stewart made it go from good to okay for me. I love fairytales, and I loved a bunch of the visual effects.

    The smaller battles and such didn’t bother me it was more intimate and fairytale-like.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jose-Batista/100000952184779 Jose Batista

    Well this is the first movie I’ve actually seen with Kristen Stewart, and I must concur with Spoony, she can’t act. Also Charlize Thereon is way hotter. :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1303424724 Nataly Mitrovic

    Actually, the answer why Snow White isn’t killed by the queen as a child is quite obvious and often hinted at. Since both Snow White and the Queen share similar “powers” (the Queen is beautiful on the outside while snow white is beautiful on the inside) that were bestowed upon them with three drops of blood, snow white is both the only one that can kill her and the only one that can save the queen forever. By sucking out snow white’s soul, the queen becomes eternally beautiful and young and no longer has to suck out other people’s souls. There’s one scene that shows a lot of young women scattered in the castle after the queen has sucked their lives out. Notice how they’re all teenagers or adults? I guess the Queen can only suck out “developed” or aged beauty and since snow white’s beauty wasn’t at its limits as a child and since she needed her to get what she wanted, snow white wasn’t killed. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1303424724 Nataly Mitrovic

    My thoughts on the movie:
    It was fine, there’s just some complaints that I have:
    – Pretty much everything was copied off Lord of the Rings.
    – Charlize Therone’s over-acting was so weird and uncomfortable. She was so over the top, I wonder how the director even agreed on her doing that.
    – I still don’t get how the Huntsman was supposed to be Snow White’s “one true love” to awaken her from her deathly slumber. I mean did we ever get any hint that he loved her in any way?
    – The duke’s son is a completly useless character. In the original story, his purpose was to kiss snow white awake. Now, the huntsman takes the role, rendering the duke’s son completly useless.
    – Kristen Steward can’t act. All she ever does is look bored.
    – And finally, Kristen Steward will never in any universe or timeline be considered hotter than Charlize Therone. Please. LOOK AT HER. She’s not ugly or anything but please…

    • http://www.facebook.com/guaranefo Nefo Guarulhos


  • vob

    You don’t need to apologize or feel bad if you don’t think someone is good looking (kristen stewart in this case).  I don’t see how that makes you a bad person saying that.  Everyone has their own opinion of whom they like/don’t like.  Nothing wrong with that.

  • http://www.facebook.com/guaranefo Nefo Guarulhos

    Really enjoyed the review, and also the movie. I went in with no expectations and was pleasantly entertained. Charlize’s acting felt very right for me, as it pretty much made her look like a fairytale cartoon villain – which I guess was what she was going for. Thor is just awesome. Stewart really tried to ruin it for me – she makes the same disgust expression throughout the entire film, even when SHE’S BEING CROWNED. If that’s not something to be happy about, I don’t know what is. I guess she’s saving her smile for the ending of Twilight, because I haven’t seen it so far.

    I think the thing about this movie that makes it so watchable is that it is, no shit, pretty smart. Like the way everyone in the entire cast is in no way more beautiful than the evil witch, and that goes even for the male characters (when she’s desguised as the prince you can notice that he looks way better than he’s real counterpart). Subtle, but it serves it’s purpose in the story. Of course they messed up Snowhite (and I thought they were going for an inner beauty kinda story for a moment, but if they did it wasn’t quite there), but you gotta make people see it, and I think Stewart still is a beacon of money. 

    Other than that, it is really well shot. The snowy forest looks great, that magical lair of the fairies too (but they were a little creepy, yes), the action is pretty fun and I was happy there weren’t a lot of gags, giving it a more dramatic tone. I didn’t get some of the choices here (the milk bath, the blind dwarf…) and there are some annoying plot holes (the dark forest that is so fucking dangerous but kills no one, the “chosen one” bullcrap), but it’s overall a good movie.  

    One funny thing about it is that this is probably the most boy-oriented Snowhite story I’ve ever seen. I guess it’s the action, and the fact that Thor steals the movie whenever he is onscreen, but I thinkg this is a movie I’d happily show to my kid someday, as – like you said -, it does make me remember growing up watching this kind of adventure. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/faolan.lunasvalen Faolan Lunasvalen

    I’m a fan of old fantasy like Krull, Willow & Neverending Story.

    Soooo I may just like this for all its silliness.  

  • IHeart28

    Spoony, Snow white is a tale of a extremely beauiful woman so technachly beauty matters when it comes to bringing this story to life so you are being completely legit and not pigheaded in the slightest.
    As for considering the movie itself, on one hand I’m somewhat of a fan of Chris Hemsworth(Thor) and do enjoy hammy acting… On the other hand I, like spoony, think Kristian Stewart has the acting talent of a piece of blank paper. So I guess I’ll think about it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Johnathan-Jones/1508337289 Johnathan Jones

    Damn, I guess I’m in the minority that thinks that Snow was supposed to have more “inner” beauty , which made her more fair than the vain Queen.
    But whatever, lets all complain that Bella is Snow White. I don’t think she as attractive as Charlize, but what young celebrity is?
    And the acting? Charlize seemed to be eating up more scenery than Kirsten was(whom I thought was doing a decent job).
    But whatever, thats just my 2 cents…

  • illidan4ever

    From the sound of it it seems like the Queen kept Snow White alive to suck her soul when she was at her most beautiful.

  • http://www.facebook.com/teasel.meringue Teasel Meringue

    The whole point of “The Fairest in the Land” title is not about beauty. It’s about being a pure hearted, nice person. It’s about being a kind, good person. The Evil Queen is EVIL, so she can never be the fairest in the land. I like this movie, say what you will, but at least this movie wasn’t Mirror Mirror.

  • justinbays

    Damn dude where do you live that kristen stewart is the average girl at the mall?

    • Fueldrop

      Personally I don’t think Kristen Stewart even rates as ‘cute’. Just saying. She’s not ugly, she’s… bland.

  • Pikeman

    You know, what’s kinda ironic is that in the Disney version the queen is actually way hotter than Snow White too. History repeats itself, you could say.

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