Vlog 6-8-12 – Prometheus

The Spoony One | Jun 8 2012 | more notation(s) | 

Noah & Miles return from E3 to catch the most highly-anticipated sci-fi thriller of the year, Prometheus!

(For a look at the movie I referred to earlier about the “alien pregnancy”, you can check it out here!)

  • aaronbourque

    Cut your hair, hippy!

    • Jan Pospisil

      Took that mullet…eeeh, those words straight outta my mouth.

      • dennett316

         What mullet?  Spoony has long hair, not a mullet.  And why are people obsessing over his hair all of a sudden?  Who cares how he grows it?

        • http://twitter.com/TTHOOM Tim Terrell

          Jan wasn’t obsessing. He/she made a joke. You are obsessing.

      • GreenGear

        Not a mullet you dumbass.

        I know your type. I had long hair in high school, and they called it a mullet because it was long in the back. They neglected to fucking realize it was NOT short in the front. Which is vital criteria for a fucking mullet. 

        Before you type words again, google them first. My god.

      • Ryan Hill

        Not a mullet. http://www.google.com

    • http://twitter.com/TheMMOFifty TheMMOFifty

      Here is a thought, let him grow HIS hair the way HE wants to. I am certain he will let you do the same in return. By the way, this is coming from a guy with a pony tail long enough to reach the lower part of my back.

      • Turkey OnAStick

        “I am certain he will let you do the same in return.”
        Wow, thanks Spoony! Thanks for being so unjudgemental.
        If there’s one thing I come to this site for, it’s for unjudgemental reviews.

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/BLVXCVZCUBCZIAWIC3K5UCOXRM Colonel

       The hair looks “ok”, but only if he washes it. During the Snowhite-Vlog it was just aweful.

    • GreenGear

      Fuck THAT. I want to see his Loki cosplay.

  • http://twitter.com/SirTobbii Tobbii Karlsson

    FINALLY! Someone agrees with me on the movie.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/George-Rosenbaum/100001387887487 George Rosenbaum

    Miles is getting more and more comfortable in front of the camera.

    Chances are probably slim, but I wonder if he has any cool stories of his service as a policeman to share with the Internet.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000516767968 Matt McCoy

    I’m surprised that you guys didn’t mention American Gangster. (Although I’m only 10 minutes in) That’s one of his better recent movies.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Calvin-Jarchow/1131125364 Calvin Jarchow

    I was left frustrated too. But oh my goodness, vagina monsters everywhere! Tentacle rape kinda too!

  • http://twitter.com/SuckerpunchRoy Gern

    Yeah, despite the good Rotten Tomatoes score, my enthusiasm for this diminished when all the critics/film bloggers I follow/tend to agree with said that this was pretty crummy. Will find out for myself later.

  • http://twitter.com/bacdac2 Sean Purcell


    After a good night’s sleep after seeing Prometheus I
    realized that getting a good night’s sleep was a bad sign that it didn’t deliver
    what it promised. I’m one of those people after seeing Alien to basically stay
    up half the night. Basically any chilling horror movie that gets to my bones
    does this. Also I have a problem with the crew constantly going out of
    character. For instance the two crew members who get lost in the engineer’s
    ship are freaking out the whole night especially when the captain tells them
    that they are picking up life other than themselves. Then when they actually
    encounter an alien creature for some reason the British actor playing the American
    calmly becomes interested in it? If I were in their state of mind I would
    simply run the hell away from it.

  • http://twitter.com/dlv1983 David Lorenz Valdez

    To add insult to injury in watching this movie, the first 20-30 minutes of the film had the closed captions going so we could read those… “wonderfully crafted” lines. :/ Which was compounded with two times they had to stop the movie in order to try and turn them off. Anyway, from the moment that the characters gathered together for the introductions, I knew every single plot twist. In fact, the only characters who I enjoyed seeing were Geo-Dude Seamus and the creepy biologist companion of his, and that only because I got a couple of chuckles from them. And that line from David to the girl about her survival… I left ‘meh’ and got angrier and angrier thinking about all the stuff in the film.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/ZLMCGSECUP2NAKZ2CRN4LXBPAE Sam

    I have yet to watch the vid yet, but I have to say just based on the screencap alone I am DIGGING the long hair bro. It looks awesome!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Nathan-Ellis/100002419726549 Nathan Ellis

    I’m gonna say it, Alien is my favorite movie all time and I loved Prometheus. I also liked Cabin in the Woods which spoony hated this year. 

  • http://twitter.com/ElizabethStr Elizabeth Sterling

    Prometheus was a turd. It undermined its own plot, had a bullshit creationist through-line and had awful dialog and performances. The visuals weren’t enough to save it and I sincerely believe they bribed a good many reviewers and stuffed movie sites with fake votes. I’m far from the only one who went in with very very mild expectations and yet left the theater in a really bad mood.

    Thanks for the review, you hit on most points that irritated the shit out of me. As for their ‘tribute’ to Doctor Who… fuck them. Make a good movie before you make your movie a partial homage to classic Who.

  • http://twitter.com/Prowlingmonkey Adam Sawyer

    Always like your vlogs even in the case where I don’t agree with them. Good thorough justifications. Thanks for the entertainment.

  • http://twitter.com/KorgerKor Kaleb Korger

    0:39:51     I’ll watch this later.   I’m  getting tired. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Nathan-Ellis/100002419726549 Nathan Ellis

    “oreo didn’t watch the movie but she wouldn’t have liked it” 

    I can’t believe this is the critic i listen to.

    • Emperor_Z

       What’s the hostility over a silly little joke?

    • BrokenBell

      I know! I usually trust Oreo’s judgment too, but when she hasn’t even seen the movie…

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/W53KAMLAUPUIAAUMMQQGOSKE4E Justin

    sorry spoony, but, I honestly cant agree with this review. You went through a whole detail analysis of the movie, but, I still loved it regardless because I really thought Ridley Scott went back to form and made a great sci-fi flick. Even though this movie leaves out a lot of questions, as a whole it works because I used my suspension of disbelief and didnt really need a lot of explaination for things to come. And i really disagree about the characters. Michael Fassbender, Noomi Rapace, Charlize Theron, and Ildris Elba were great. And it looked amazing in 3D. It’s not a masterpiece, but, it’s still a good movie in my opinion. 

    • dennett316

      Characters are different from performances.  They may have acted well, but that wouldn’t stop someone from hating a poorly written character who acts stupidly or illogically.  That you say you disagree about the characters, and then list the actors who play them really speaks to the fact you liked the people behind the character rather than the characters themselves.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/BLVXCVZCUBCZIAWIC3K5UCOXRM Colonel

    The title card is somewhat creepy… :D
    But yay for Miles!

    …and I disagree with you on the movie, I liked it. But at least this time you gave valid reasons why you disliked the movie, instead of just rambling and instuling everyone like with Mass Effect 3.

  • http://www.facebook.com/trevor.shmidt Trevor Shmidt

    Saw it tonight as well with a group of friends.
    We only had fun once we started riffing it.
    The movie was crap.
    Beautiful to look at, but crap nonetheless.

  • http://twitter.com/Eagle7D8 Christopher Lee

    I may watch it when it shows up on Netflix or free online.  lol

  • http://www.facebook.com/JapanAlex Alex Wilson

    I can’t wait, to see this film!! :) Spoony has 80% bad film taste, so I know it’ll be amazing! Plus, my favourite critic, Roger Ebert, gave it 4/4 stars. Looks awesome, everyone says the characters are great, acting is great–can’t wait!! :D I’m pretty sure people who won’t like the film are a. trying to think about it too hard, and b. don’t know what makes a good film.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Nathan-Ellis/100002419726549 Nathan Ellis

      Ebert did give it 4 stars out of 4. I kind of agree with him, keep in mind he also gave speed 2 a good rating. 

      The acting isn’t what it could have been. Spoony gives valid criticisms, I still like the movie a lot. What I don’t understand is how the guy can put his disbelief at the door for paranormal activity movies, but rips this one a new asshole for things that were already done in alien. Passing off the face raping monsters in this as stupid when the facehugger in alien is essentially the same thing.  

      I did like avatar however so my opinion might is probably mute to the entire geek community. 

      • http://twitter.com/ElizabethStr Elizabeth Sterling

        Okay, I hated this movie but I’ll admit it has its positives and I can understand people who overlook issues but a perfect rating is false advertising on Ebert’s part, especially as the entire plot is invalidated in-movie in an immense plot-hole, not to mention the egregious science failures and a story driven exclusively by idiot-balls.

        Still, I won’t begrudge you enjoying it, each to their own. Objectively it’s far from the worst thing ever, I just hated it because the potential to be truly amazing was wasted.

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Nathan-Ellis/100002419726549 Nathan Ellis

          Am I the only person who thought the Medi Pod scene was fucking AWESOME?!? 

          • http://twitter.com/ElizabethStr Elizabeth Sterling

            Visually? Yeah, it was pretty impressive. I was probably quite irritable because I couldn’t help but be irritated by the fact it made no sense for it to be there or for it to not recognise its intended subject. Still, as body horror goes that worked for those who could suspend disbelief at that point.

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Nathan-Ellis/100002419726549 Nathan Ellis

            Having to live up to Alien franchise fans, Ridley Scott fans, and Doctor Who fans is an impossible task. Mr. Scott is notorious for taking bad scripts and making visually striking movies. There are parts of the movie I HATED. And I came out loving the thing as a whole. 

          • http://twitter.com/ElizabethStr Elizabeth Sterling

            True enough, yeah. It really comes down to a taste on this one, wasn’t my thing at all, was yours. There are definitely good aspects to this film, they just weren’t enough for me and that’s what divides those who liked and disliked it.

          • http://www.facebook.com/JapanAlex Alex Wilson

            God, people who say, the plot is stupid are myopic as fuck! All I can say…

          • http://twitter.com/ElizabethStr Elizabeth Sterling

            Care to explain any of that? The plot offers no profundity, the characters only ever get in the situations they are in through sheer incompetence and there is literally no good reason for the movie to take place by its own continuity, not to mention it completely misunderstands evolution and theology. This movie is about as ‘deep’ as a puddle and there are some glaring continuity errors that the director has been quoted as not giving a shit about.

            There was a HUGE amount of potential to work out the heavy, heavy implications of the idea that mankind was engineered and the movie just sat on its arse and said “Well, some people *believe* and some don’t, and some people like the idea of a creator controlling their destiny and some don’t, and a creator might not be all they seem.” Bra. Fucking. Vo. If you honestly think that’s deep go back to your linkin park and let the grown-ups talk.

  • Jan Pospisil

    Poor Oreo! Such cute cry noises! :D

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1050904330 Sean Foer

    You have a lot of valid criticisms of the film in terms of details, but I think you lose sight of the film’s purpose as art and as a thought experiment.

    Also, the medpod was configured for Weyland. 

  • rvb1023

    This movie was for sure a disappointment (The script is where this movie fell apart, not to mention most of the actors) but I don’t think it was nearly as terrible as you made it seem.   There were a ton of inconsistencies, the characters made plenty of stupid decisions, ad the narrative was incredibly unfocused but while I was watching it I was thoroughly engaged until the ending, where instead of resolution I was given sequel bait courtesy of shitty writing.  I can’t believe the Lost writers can still get work.

  • http://www.facebook.com/thodoris.mitromaras Thodoris Mitromaras

    The movie was a polished turd. Watching this review was way more entertaining. And free.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/3NI5LP4NIZIY732WDPRY3ZFSLY yahoo-3NI5LP4NIZIY732WDPRY3ZFSLY

    Btw it is pretty obvious that the chambers are not ment for her. She is not even supposed to go on the voyage. Her father is the safety obsessed guy. So the medical pod is designed for him.

  • http://www.utahraptorz.deviantart.com/ Utahraptorz

    “There’s science-fiction, then there’s science-bullshit.” Spoony, that just about summarizes the entire movie.

    You two basically pointed out every single issue that my brother and I had with this movie. We thought this movie was a MASSIVE disappointment and was completely stupid when it could have had an intelligent story.
    All of the characters were completely stupid, I cared for none of them throughout the entire film and felt no emotion when any of them died. Omg, then there were the millions of things that were wrong with the plot of the movie. Although, as ridiculous as it was, the surgery scene did actually make me feel really light-headed and dizzy after watching it, but that’s probably because I simply can’t watch surgery. I just can’t. It makes me feel sick to my stomach for some reason. Sometimes I can watch fake or movie surgery with no problem, but for some reason that scene got me feeling very light-headed for a while. I actually considered leaving the theater for a while because I was getting frustrated with both the movie and my dizziness. Which, by the way, is one of the few times in my life that I ever wanted to leave the theater because of a movie (dizziness aside).

    I’d type all the scenes that irritated me in this movie, but you guys already said them all. XD I agree that this will probably be #1 in the most disappointing list of 2012 for me. Hopefully none of the other movies that I’m hyped for will go down to Prometheus’ level. :C

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Colt-Baldwin/653349685 Colt Baldwin

    Woohoo! Miles is back. As always, the brothers make a good duo. Spoony getting all emotional, and excited over what a piece of suck this is.. and then to Miles, who very calmly, and very patiently, tells you to stay the fuck away from this movie.

    • Vismutti

      I know, right! They make a perfect pair for reviews.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/T74IW5NMXPH5OUO6A3HVE5EWG4 Jacob

    Two things Spoony.

    firstly, the movie you’re thinking of is Inseminoid, not Creature. Inseminoid had the gal raped by what essentially was a giant penis monster and became a murderous loony as she went through her pregnancy.

    secondly, as flawed as Prometheus is, it’s not Alien Vs. Predator: Requiem levels bad. That one easily owns Prometheus in the stupidity and awfulness areas, as well as just being generally too dark to watch (image wise)

  • http://twitter.com/Jezzy54 Jesse WilliamsFuller

    The existence of aliens wouldn’t automatically rule out the existence of a Judeo-Christian god, because the Book of Genesis doesn’t necessarily have to be taken literally. I’ve seen an archbishop go on TV and say he doesn’t believe humans originated exactly as the Bible says.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Timo-Takalo/503889411 Timo Takalo

      That gets me thinking. The Bible says that God created humans “in His image”. However, God is an immaterial being so it would be pretty damn difficult to use that to argue that God has two legs and two hands and so on. Therefore, you cannot claim that the Bible is referring to “image” in the visual meaning. Seems to me that it would make much more sense to interpret it as referring to mental and spiritual aspects, such as “God is a thinking, creative being, and created humans as thinking, creative beings in His image”.

    • Anyone00

      Yeah, I always get the feeling whenever there’s some story like this the writer has never read anything as basic as Religion and Rocketry by C.S. Lewis (which more ask questions from a modern Protestant viewpoint and only concludes ‘wait and see’).

  • http://twitter.com/DXU James Ward

    haha knew Spoony wasn’t going to like this movie.  I was prepared for disappointment but was pleasantly surprised.  I enjoyed the movie on an ideas and concept level rather than just a movie/acting level.  Me and my friends spent the whole time talking about the themes of the movie on the way home.  Haven’t done that for a while.  I really hope they make another one.

    This really seems like a movie that some will like and some will hate.  This is a good thing.  Movie making seems to have become about pleasing everybody.  Screw that.  Few people liked Bladerunner when it came out but it’s become a classic.  I think this will be the same with Prometheus.  Or I could be wrong and I’m just an idiot……Would like to see Spoony have a discussion with Brad Jones (Cinema Snob) about this movie.  Brad seemed to like it.

  • http://twitter.com/SolidGoldCEO SolidGoldCEO

    was an ill-conceived overblown pile of shit. So many plot threads went nowhere and the part that you’d think would be the most important felt like it had the least amount of thought. The trailers were vague because the movie was vague. No particular threat, no real horror, no real action, no real suspense, characters had no development. It was 20 minutes shorter then the Avengers but it felt about 20 years longer. Oh and fuck the giant face hugger and its retarded genesis.

    ((SPOILER DON’T READ IF YOU WANT TO WATCH PROMETHEUS))The Alien Xenomorphs were created because a giant face hugger raped a space jockey, the face hugger came from a human host and was implanted by them having sex with someone who was infected with a weaponised virus designed to act as a rapid form of ebola. 
    The whole old man Wayland thing (atrocious elderly make up by the way) just felt completely flat and honestly how was Charlize Theron being revealed as his daughter relevant to anything that happened before or after its stated? 

  • Radosław Hołdys

    Spoony…Don’t avoid Ultima IX …

  • Josh Hadley

      Actually Noah, I think the Alien Pregnancy movie you referenced is this one, Horror Planet.


  • Daniel Hedeblom

    I saw the movie one week ago in Sweden, At first I was dissapointed. Later I thought about the movie a little bit more, because it has some unanwered questions just like the first Alien movie has. We still don’t know everything, the movie doesn’t really answer the question where humans came from. The space jockey people were probably artificial (So I think), and we don’t know who created them.

    At first I didn’t like the alien design at all, it was too far from a H.R Giger design, I didn’t expect that. But if the aliens are artificial, I kind of like them more, for some reason.

    I agree that the characters weren’t very lovable, except Noomi’s character which I like very much. I loved Noomi Rapace in this movie, I think she is perfect for this
    movie. It was the only character I really liked and cared for. Still she
    is not as bad ass as Ripley in Alien. Elizabeth (Noomi) is more cute,
    but still, I really think she has the potential, she feels like a young
    and more naive Ripley if you can imagine that.

    I realise that these are two completly different characters, and
    Noomi will never do Ripley in a movie. Don’t take this wrong. But you
    have to have noticed that the resemblance of Noomi Rapace and Sigourney
    Weaver is too obvious, otherwise you’re blind.

    I agree to the points, and I thought of them too, the kind of “scientists” that they send to an expensive mission like this, doesn’t seem plausible to send some horny people who’s not really intrested in the planet at all, and this dog like geologist who is like a mix between  Shaggy and Scooby Doo. And the movie kind of becomes like a stupid Scooby Doo adventure after a while, and I cannot get the feeling it’s a serious sci-fi movie like the two first Alien movies.

    Btw, did you notice the 2001: A Space Odyssey reference in the beginning of the movie. I couldn’t help but notice, when the computer says “Goodmoring David”, and my thoughts were quickly moved to HAL 9000. And I had high expecations of a very philisophical movie, but it was more like cheesy action movie. Dissapointed, but I still don’t think the movie was THAT bad, it was OK.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Drain-Blut/100001687703474 Drain Blut

    Thanks for the video Spoony I was curious as to what you thought about this. Please keep the vlogs coming, very thorough they are. I heard it all and it sounds bad… but ya this is one we still have to watch ourselves. No matter how bad it may be or how much we were told so, “Alien” is just one of those titles that we’re going to watch regardless.

  • http://twitter.com/c_wilber Craig Stephen

    You mean how phenomenally stupid everyone of these characters ARE. quit reading so much into nicolites of the film, and look at what the story is for what it is — STUPID

  • Daniel Hedeblom

    The thing you said about DNA match btw, I think DNA could match 99.999% and still the alien could look completly different. I don’t remember much about this from school, it’s not my field, but still I think it was plausible that the DNA match was almost 100%, still looks so much different.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Paul-Ross/100000510615727 Paul Ross

       The thing in the movie said that the DNA was an exact match for human DNA

    • Picard1701

       No, just no. Actualy I think that there is only 2% diffrence bettwen human DNA and chimpanzees but THIS 2% MAKE A DIFFERENCE! Here we have 100% DNA much, yet spacejockeys not only look completly different but they also are vastly stronger – show me pesron who can rip someones had off with bare hands.

      • ScutigeraColeoptrata


        I will activate the black goo of destrucity Hulk Hogan, and when the Space Jockey fires his giant exoskeleton gun into the infinite expanse of the heavens to eradicate the unworthy, you will know that this path for humanity has always been ordaaaaaaained!

      • MediaGold

            True, but how much genetic difference is there between say a pygmy and a ginger Scotsman with gigantism?  I’m by no means an expert, but from what I remember there is barely a genetic difference between these two extremes.  Another example would be what is the genetic difference between say Spoony and Louis Cyr, who was quite possibly the strongest man who has ever lived?  There would be no genetic difference, yet I have no doubt that Mr Cyr, who could do things like lift 500 pounds with 3 fingers and carry 4300+ pounds on his back, could probably tear the head off of a dude if he were so inclined.


  • M_Appel

    “stupidest people ever born”
    so THAT is why they put them all on a spaceship!

  • user9000

    Woah, for a second there that screencap made me think you were egoraptor!

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ZT7FTQMLJMOVBUMEV6ULDDP5CA Jim

      Meh. I liked the movie. But I also believe Spoony is entitled to his own opinions. To each their own.

  • Roiser0

    Two things (MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD!):
    1) When David (the robot) infects the scientist dude, he actually asks him: “Are you willing to do anything for this expedition” and when he positively replies, then he infects him. I think that was a cool touch, that explains a lot about David’s thinking

    2) Almost at the end when they open hatch doors of Prometheus and they find that “burned to crisp guy lying on fours” it’s not Elisabeth’s infected boyfriend, it’s that stoned guy with weird hair (as you described him) which got sprayed with the alien blood in his face.

    Overall this movie was a major dissapointment, but I LOVE this genre and there aren’t that much movies from this genre (recently Pandorum, but that’s about it). I’d still give it 6/10.

    • ScutigeraColeoptrata

      I think some fans were disappointed with it because they were expecting something  along the lines of Aliens, which was the film which pioneered the idea of marines fighting off an alien horde in modern cinema. Prometheus is almost the antithesis of that, showing how helpless people can be in a foreign and hostile environment, especially when they aren’t the best of the best. It’s really not an Alien movie at all, but it’s own beast. I liked that, but I can understand how many long time fans could feel ‘alienated’ (sorry!)

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Alexandre-Gignac/1225960043 Alexandre Gignac

    this movie is STUPID
    how in the world is this movie supposed to be like the origins of the xenomorph when the first alien movie takes place like 29 years later AND THE ALIEN CREATURE AT THE END OF THE MOVIE LOOKS ONLY SLIGHTLY ALIKE.
    This movie is saying that in that span of time, from this ONE CREATURE, the evolutionary process produced:
    -a change in growth cycle
    -a growth in adults size
    -a tail
    -a reproductive system (the queen that makes egg that house face huggers)
    -speaking of which, another complete change in all the features of the face huggers and all of what that entails
    -and many other evolutionary changes

    and all of this IN 30 YEARS!!!

    • http://twitter.com/DXU James Ward

      It’s not the same planet.  Not the same ship.  Not the same alien.  This planet was LV-223.  The planet is Alien is LV-426.  Prometheus is not a direct prequel to Alien.

  • http://twitter.com/Matthew_Haire Matthew Haire

    This was a great review guys – you held my attention fully for every minute – you even managed to get some big laughs outta me! Spoony, you and Miles should review more movies together, you make an entertaining team :D

  • Real_Kurvos

    I haven’t seen the movie yet. But… I am a big fan of the Alien and Predator franchises – so I obviously will get it regardless of anything. And well… you guys are saying it’s bad, but you’re both also complaining about the Star Wars prequels being awful like small childs (I’ve made a review of Episode 1 on DeviantArt defending it, and it’s one of my all time favorite movies… yeah, make fun of me all you want – I don’t care).
    It might be a bad movie – I really don’t know. As far as it is now, Predators is my nr 1 favorite among all of these movies. I think it’s unfairly underrated, and I can give hundreds of reasons why.
    Anyhow… come on now, really. Are you saying Prometheus is worse than AvP:R? I’m not even sure that’s possible, guys. :P Just saying.

    • dennett316

       You’re saying that Predators is a better movie than the original Predator, Alien and Aliens?  There’s no accounting for taste I suppose but wow, that’s just wrong to me.  It wasn’t bad, just massively average…the movie from 1987 had better Predator make up for one thing, and that’s just on a superficial level.  The characters in the original are far better established, more likeable and the story is better – an actual reason for being there beyond the mad fantasy of a ten year old boy (“And the Predators scoop up a bunch of bad-asses and take them to a planet to hunt, for some reason”).
      Finally, if Episode 1 is one of your all time favourites, then I’d suggest you really need to watch more movies.  Everyone in that movie delivers a career worst performance, the CGI is woeful, it’s boring, it’s overly long and it has precisely ONE decent scene in the final duel.  Worst of all, it’s a story that didn’t need to be told as it was summed up perfectly well in the original film with a few minutes of dialogue delivered by Alec Guinness.

      • Real_Kurvos

        Wow… that was the most disrespectful comment I’ve seen in a while. Dude – my opinion isn’t bad just because it contradicts what your narrowminded brain thinks, okay? You can not correct my opinion – BECAUSE IT’S MY OPINION. Grow up.
        Want to see me defend Star Wars Episode I? Enjoy: http://fav.me/d4q1wy5 Want to see me explain why I personally love Predators more than any of the other movies? Enjoy: http://fav.me/d37h9xx But I will not read your comments here anymore, if you choose to respond. If you want to respond – do so where my reviews are. But be respectful and mature – or I will block you and hide your comment. Do you understand? Just because your thoughts are more mainstream than my thoughts, it doesn’t make me more stupid. It means I can think of myself, and love movies people hate or dislike regardless of that.

        You prefer Alien, Aliens, Predator and Predator 2 over Predators? More power to you. You hate Star Wars Episode I? More power to you. But if you try one more time to bash me for my opinion when I have the right to have it, I say you can go and fuck yourself.

        • bob bob

          While I totally agree with you about your opinion not being debatable, looking over your responses in your reviews, you are being just as narrow minded as he is. Defending an opinion is one thing, narrow mindedly thinking your opinion is flawlessly right and somehow special over others is just childish. You even admit to being overprotective of your opinion. Maybe you should mature a little in that department before attacking others in an area you yourself have difficulty in.

        • Squiggly_P

          Your opinion sucks, and if you don’t like my opinion of your opinion you can go fuck yourself.

          Just to sum that all up.

  • http://twitter.com/_669_ Mark

    Some corrections, Prometheus had security people. They are introduced right before the scientists leave the ship for the first time when Elisabeth talks to one of them saying that “this is a science expedition” and the security guy takes his gun and says “Good luck with that”.
    And the surgical tube was not meant for Charlize Theron, it was meant for her father. The old guy played by Guy Pierce.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_DBM2ALKS5N7JNOKBBVRKDG6JDA Daam

    it’s gonna be a trilogy right? could explain that some things weren’t addressed properly?

    I liked it, it wasn’t an amazing masterpiece but I liked it. Looking forward to the next two ones.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_DBM2ALKS5N7JNOKBBVRKDG6JDA Daam

    also..I guess that the reason that they sent 17 people is because it was funded by a private party and not the government?

  • http://www.facebook.com/theonevoid Zachary Thomas Pepper

    First off, I should say that I respect the hell out of you, and that I’m not intending to be some king of troll or anything, but I think you missed a lot of the great parts of the movie. Granted, I wouldn’t say that it’s a great movie, but that it is OKAY.

    At the end of your review, you mention the conversation that the scientist (I can’t even remember his name, shows how great a character he was) and David, when the scientist tells him that they built him “because they could” and that David thought that was a disappointment to hear. all throughout the movie, there’s a sort of racism going on toward David, which causes him to actively try to kill the humans. He mentions in another conversation with Shaw that he was trying to kill Weyland so that he could be free. Whether or not that’s a commentary on slavery is another thing entirely, which I am WAY too dumb to even act like I know about.

    That one thought, throughout the movie, of racial stereotyping and bigotry is a huge plot point, that even the friends I went to see it with missed. A lot of David’s actions can be seen as flailing around, doing stupid things just because, but it really drives it home in that conversation he has with Shaw near the end of the movie.

    Whether or not this changes how you view the movie is beyond me, but no matter. A lot of the characters were, as you mentioned, unlikable, and I didn’t really like the whole “blindly religious scientist” aspect either. Regardless, have a great day, and I can’t wait to see more stuff from you!

    • ScutigeraColeoptrata

      Holloway even calls David ‘Boy’ at one point, and I actually think they went too far in making him a jerk in order to make David sympathetic. There is also a bit of a romance implied between Shaw and David early on, which also annoys Holloway. Really though, what woman could resist Peter O’Toole’s Lawrence of Arabia?

    • unknowncast

       Could also be following Weyland’s orders so it was a win-win for him.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=655701905 Corey Schaff

    The preview screenshot of you long-haired and wide-eyed kinda reminds me of Charles Manson O_O

  • http://twitter.com/Okanehira Okanehira


    Okay rant over, fantastic review (minus the annoying clown horn) and it was great to see miles really getting into the review.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Petr-Matafonov/100002602177171 Petr Matafonov

    i’ll w8 the dvd…

  • Pat Hulse

    Charlize Theron had the surgical robot presumably for Weyland. At least that’s what I assumed.

    • lightice

       Yep. It was the very first hint that Weyland was on the ship, and I got it immediately. Most of Spoony’s complaints this time are exaggerated or misguided, I’m afraid.

    • Vismutti

      But… why wouldn’t they want to bring one that can ALSO treat women? Just in case? Since, you know, they knew they were going to have women on board?

  • http://twitter.com/TheBladerunner9 Fred Lake

    I thoroughly disliked this movie. Especially the ending and Noomi Rapace’s character. Dont get me wrong she acted it fine [Although am I the only one who thought she was trying/was meant to have an English accent?]. *Spoilers!* At the end when David offers to take Elizabeth back to Earth she instead asks to go to the Engineer’s home world. This is fucking stupid and horrible for a number of reasons: 

    1. Assuming she survives the trip, why the hell does she think that the Engineers, who she already knows are hostile, will sit down and answer all her questions? They’d snap her neck like a chicken as soon as she lands.
    2. You know that these Engineers wanted to destroy Earth, so one would think going back to Earth would be a good idea, SO YOU CAN FUCKING WARN PEOPLE.

    So basically Elizabeth Shaw just doomed herself and perhaps Earth just so she can satisfy her self-righteous bullshit. 

    Also to all the people saying that Spoony and others are thinking about it hard, really? Sure if you make 5 leaps in logic to get to a point, fair enough, but when a character or action is obviously stupid one is not thinking about it too hard to notice it. When saying “you’re thinking about it too hard” you are pretty much just saying that the script and movie itself had no thought put into it at all. Shooting yourselves in the foot.

    • ScutigeraColeoptrata

      Remember that the Engineers on the planet were part of a military chemical weapons staff, so not all the Engineers might be as hostile as they were. Recall the guy in the first scene who sacrificed his life to ‘sow his seed’ into the sentient life of a new world (according to Ridley Scott, this is a common practice in the Engineer’s culture.) Also, given that no other Engineers have come back to that world to carry on the work implies that A) the Engineers are already all dead or B) the Engineers making the biological weapons were acting alone.

      You make a good point about going back to Earth though. While it might be more useful to try diplomacy, given the overwhelming power of the Engineers, a defense plan for Earth would not be a bad idea considering that the humans were able to disable one of their attack ships.

      I actually think the film was pretty brilliant and had a lot of complexity to it, so I say people need to think about it harder to get the most out of it; it’s not a typical sci-fi action flick, which is good because that’s pretty much the only kind of science fiction Hollywood seems interested in anymore.

      • http://twitter.com/TheBladerunner9 Fred Lake

        Fair enough point. At first viewing I liked the movie, but upon thinking about it shortly after seeing, the script came across as incredibly stupid and ill-conceived. There was complexity as you say, but it is kind of over-shadowed by all the idiotic horror movie parts of the movie, as Spoony points out. The direction and visuals were all there, but he script needed a serious re-thinking, in my opinion. But each to their own.

        • ScutigeraColeoptrata

          Well, the script is pretty full of ideas and subplots, to the point where it is easy to miss character motivations or plot points. I maintain that the writing is good; it wasn’t like in Last Airbender where every line was exposition because the script was so crowded. Still, I can understand how people could get frustrated with a plot that raises more questions than the original film and provides no real answers.

          Personally though, I actually really appreciated that the script didn’t answer every question I had, as knowing when not to show something is rather a lost art when it comes to film making. Plus it gives film students something to write about.

          • http://twitter.com/TheBladerunner9 Fred Lake

            Haha, can’t argue with the film student part.

    • http://www.facebook.com/colinfit Colin Turvey

      With a ship that might be carrying more of those urns, its just as possible they’re already dead but if not at least David might learn enough to make them rethink their strategy…
      If of course she repairs him… then quite probably he’ll kill her if he doesn’t want to go to see them…

  • Patrick Brown

    OH GOD NO Spoony has started filming in shaky cam.  Is what I thought at 5 min in when he started moving the camera.

  • MewkaKazami

    The medial unit and the whole suit are supposed to be Peter Waylands, his daughter just came along for the ride. And there were indications of it the whole fucking movie.

    So you ranted 5 minutes about nothing.

    • Lawrence A

       Weyland was frozen the whole trip and he was only planning on being woken up when it was time to meet the engineers and gain immortality or a cure for death or whatever his ill-defined goal was. So then why would he need a medical unit? His plan was either to wake up and have some aliens fix all his problems, or to stay frozen until he got back to earth where I presume a hospital would provide better care than a mobile surgery unit.

  • Concurssi

    I almost want to see this movie so I could see the creature designs at work.


  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Eric-Warren/100000675505164 Eric Warren

    Im surprised at the amount of people walking out. I work at a movie theater and last night about 6 or 7 walked out.

  • Evan Heery

    In defense of Charlize’s character: The lifeboat was jettisoned BEFORE the lifepod. The 3rd captain jettisoned it immediately after takeoff. Why he wouldn’t wait for her to get to it, instead of just saying “fuck it, hit the button,” is not explained.

    She’s the ONLY likeable character in the movie. The only one to be rational the whole way through (with the exception of going on the trip in the first place).

    • Roiser0

       Her? LIKEABLE? Oh, please, you gotta be kidding :-D . About her quarters/room/lifeboat/whatever – Did they say at anytime in the movie that it could survive such fatal crash? I though it would just isolate itself in case of epidemic outbreak/oxygen leak etc, not that it would actually detach itself from the ship or anything like that. I thought it was just its harder structure that made it to survive that crash, so it seemed logical to run for the lifepod instead of that room. But I admit, I could have missed that

      • Evan Heery

         There was never any indication that it was made of anything special, I just don’t think it was supposed to be jettisoned in atmosphere, and it just got lucky that it didn’t land catastrophically.

        And yes, I liked her character. She was something of an alpha bitch, but she never got stupid like the rest of the cast. She knew what she wanted, and was willing to nut up when things went to shit. She also didn’t have “smack the ship into the other ship” syndrome.

        • Roiser0

           Of course, if you like those types of “bitches”, then alright :-D she did behave logically though, you’re right about that. Our thoughts about the lifeboat are actually the same :-) . I think Spoony (and Miles too :-D )  was way too harsh about it.

          • Evan Heery

             She was something refreshingly new from a “horror” film character, particularly a female one. This kind of film has three types of women:

            1) The shrieking useless bint who you can’t wait for her to die just so the headache will go away
            2) “For science!” She will do anything, break any rule, just to keep things moving. For example see Saffron Burrows from Deep Blue Sea
            3) The hoo-rah military type who doesn’t think. Example being Vasquez from Aliens, though she was an example of this done well.

            Meanwhile, Theron is none of the above. The closest example of her behavior is very close to that of Ripley from Alien and Aliens. Ripley didn’t want to let Kane back on the ship with the facehugger. Ripley didn’t want anyone going to LV-426. When shit goes down though, she will do what needs to be done, such as volunteering to go into the ducts, though Dallas takes that job. Ripley wants to nuke LV-426, despite the cost.

            Vickers is the same. She thinks going to LV-223 is a bad idea, she doesn’t want infected science guy back on the ship, and when it all goes to shit, she orders the 3rd captain to bug out, ASAP. Smart and pragmatic. When you know what you’re doing, you have the right to an attitude.

  • http://twitter.com/Ann__Helen Ann-Helen

    I’ve been waiting for you to rip this pile of shit a new one, Spoony. I was really looking forward to this movie, I REALLY wanted to love it. But instead I felt pissed off and offended. I didn’t even find anything in it funny. The horror parts were just gross and stupid, NOTHING made ANY sense. The characters were stupid and shallow, and the only way anyone of the characters helped drive the plot forward was by acting like retards.

    There’s not a single character there who was likable, or even believable as a scientist. I study shit at an university, my teachers are scientists, and NONE of them act like that. NONE of them look like that. NONE of them would EVER. EEEVER. Do anything like they did. They are obsessed with their fields, they are working towards PROVING their thesis with facts that are undeniable. They follow protocols. If you ask them something they don’t know very well, they refuse to answer you, and directs you to those who knows their shit really good, because anything but true facts isnt good enough. If anyone of them ever said “I KNOW this is true, because I choose to believe it to be”, they’d be laughed out of the room, lose their jobs and would never be taken seriously by any other scientist in their field. Or any scientist ever. They would certanly not be picked out to be on a team of scientists on a trillion dollar expedition, because they wouldn’t have made a big enough name for themselves to be picked out for it. And I just need to ask: WHY are all of them so young? Do film-producers even realise how much time it takes to get to the top of a field? Most of the people in this movie wouldn’t even be half finished with their basic education, much less be a well known, well respected scientist. Fucking doctor Insano would be a more sane choice to go on that expedition than any of the retarded skidmarks that was on that ship.

    But putting the characters aside, what bothered me most was all of the “deep” questions it asked. The amount of points and questions raised in this movie, is what makes it so weak. (Beside being completely stupid in every other sense too). They present us with limited lore that we can use to find the answers. But when you try to use that lore to answer the raised questinos, you realise how TRULY stupid this movie is. Even beyond all the stupidity that transpires with the characters. The “deep” points in this movie is even more stupid than a biologist trying to pet an alien dick.

    The part that pisses me off the most, is that IF the space jockeys was the origin of ALL life on earth, why do every lifeform on this planet look so vastly diffrent from them, while WE look so much like them? Shouldn’t the point be that they started life by adding DNA+”black lifegiving goop” to the rivers here, and from there natural selection of the most fit cells occur? And from there the evolution of the diffrent organisms that we see on earth today. All of that is left up to chance: a mutation makes one organism more fit to survive than the organism without that mutation. A mutation is something that happens by ACCIDENT. And the new mutated gene is kept by the selection of the individual who’s GOT that gene, IF it proves to be beneficial to that individual in a certain environment. SO HOW ON EARTH CAN WE HAVE THE SAME FUCKING DNA AS THE BLUE ALIEN GUYS?!?!?! WE ARE THE RESULT OF MILLION OF YEARS OF EVOLUTION, THAT MEANS MILLION OF YEARS OF SELECTION OF THE BEST MUTATIONS. MUTATIONS THAT HAPPENS RANDOMLY BY CHANCE. MUTATIONS DOESNT HAPPEN TO DRIVE US TOWARDS LOOKING A CERTAIN WAY. SO WHY. WHYYY. WHYYYYYY, DO WE HAVE THE SAME FUCKING DNA?!?!?! It is NOT possible that broken up strands of DNA end up mutating back to being the same as the space jockeys dna. Thats like winning a million dollars in the lotteries, million times. By the laws of probability, that is impossible.

    Baaah..The sad thing is, there are several points raised in this movie, that could have been very interesting, had they been explored. Like, if the movie went with the “wouldn’t you
    be dissapointed if your maker told you they made you just because they can” point,
    then it COULD have been good. REALLY good. Explore how the humans feel when faced with the dissapointment of being created without meaning, and comparing it to the creation of robots. Another point it could have gone with, that was raised at the very end, was that the robot said that now that it’s creator is dead, it is truly free, since no creator is pushing him in a certain direction. They could have gone out on that one, and said “are humans truly free, if a God/Engineer is controling our path”? Or, maybe go for a “Mass Effect Reapers” kind of plot: That when humans come to the apex of their evolution, when they manage to come all the way to that planet, then all life on earth would be killed by the black evil alien goop of death. Maybe have them find other dead aliens that was engineered by the space jockeys, that had met the same fate as humans. That by going there, they trigger a ship to go to their planet of origins by default. They could have come up with several reasons as to why they’d want to do something like that, or they could have just gone with the “their ways of thinking are unfathomable” card.

    Baah, I should stop trying to think of all the awesome that could have been done with this movie, it’s just depressing. It’s like everything made nowadays are made without thought, with the only purpose of making a shitload of money. There aren’t anything told anymore. Just random ideas put in a blender, then shat out fast to make money of it.

    But anyway Spoony, great review! It’s always so much fun watching you and your brother rant about these things. And watching you guys retell this stupid plot was actually more entertaining than watching this movie….

    • http://twitter.com/DXU James Ward

      You’re asking how the DNA of the space jockey is a match for ours when he uses a mysterious black goo (that they don’t even seem to fully control) to dissolve himself and seed the planet?  Umm I dunno, maybe the mysterious black goo that’s able to mutate life instantly and seems to have it’s only consciousness that no one knows anything about had something to do with it?  You’re watching a sci-fi movie.  You might as well be asking how they’re able to suspend their life for 2 freaking years and travel to the other side of the galaxy.  Or how the android is able to monitor their dreams while they’re asleep.

      Also, you’re a scientist and your teachers are scientists.  Have you or your teachers ever worked on a mine site or done any exploration surveys for minerals?  Cos I hate to break it to you but lots of those guys are “scientists” and they’re all really rough around the edges whilst still being very very good at their job.  No top end scientist would be ready for deep space travel or planetary surveys.  They even say in the movie they think it might be a terraforming survey.  These guys aren’t meant to be top of their field.  Just good out in the field.  The dirty vacuum of space or another planet.  

      Shaw and Holloway strike me as weirdo hippy scientists.  They probably were laughed at by others in the field.  Maybe they were the only ones with their strange “Engineers made us” theory.  That’s why they had to convince an old dying man that’s head of a trillion dollar company to be able to fund it.  It’s a crazy dumb idea that no one else took seriously, not even Theron’s character.  What world class scientist at the top of their field would even want to go on some stupid space journey to try and find God aliens and potentially destroy their career?  None.

      Prometheus seems to have pissed off the ultra-religious and the ultra-non-religious.  It must be doing something right :P

      • http://twitter.com/Ann__Helen Ann-Helen

        There’s suspenison of disbelief and then theres just plain stupid. The DNA being exactly like ours because black goop guided it through all of evolution? I call bullshit on that one. It’s just stupid. Especially when proving that their DNA is similar in molecular structure would be more than enough to prove that they are related to us. It wouldn’t need to be a perfect match to prove it. It becomes more a slap across the face with “THEY ARE OUR FATHERSsss, LOOK THEY EVEN SORTA LOOK LIKE US” instead of “wow, they have the exact same buildingblocks as us=we’re related”. The second would open up discussion and be much more subtle, and belieaveble.

        ….Okay I need to call bullshit on the “no other scientist would want to go there other than idiots” too. Especially since they all thought it was a terraforming mission. Then why didn’t they take the best terraformers? Or the scientists with the best attitude towards the theory? The wierd-hair geologist/stoner was just hostile and mean to every character. Does that seem like a logical choice? No. So bullshit on that too. And people out in the field are more rough? Well…No. I know several geologists and biologists. They aren’t any diffrent, other than maybe being more physically fit. I can assure you that none of them are stoners.

        And the two main characters who came up with the idea: Yeah, they were hippie scientists, and very stupid to boot. But they managed to convince one old frail guy. Okay. So therefore they pick out a team of more idiots? In a trillion dollar trip? Do I even need to explain how little sense that makes?

        And “pissed of the ultra religious and ultra-non-religious”… Come on. Is rewarding a low level of scientific knowledge success? How is pissing off people who knows science (which btw does not always equal atheism) “doing something right”? There’s good science fiction, where you blend science fact and fiction to a degree that it becomes somewhat realistic, and then theres just doctor insano science fiction. One works, because most think “okay, maybe its just something they come up with in the future”, while the other is just… Offensieve. The movie tries to go the “realistic” science fiction way, and not the “magic” science fiction way, so magical black goop just does not fit into it all.
        And offending ultra-religious arent exactly hard: just mention the word “Evolution” and RAGE IS GO.

        • http://twitter.com/DXU James Ward

          All your points are valid opinions.  None of them really ruin the movie for me that’s all.  You either have to to go with the Black Goop thing or there’s not going to be a movie in my opinion.  The rough, slightly aggressive, money obsessed stoner scientist again doesn’t phase me.  I thought the crew were pretty spot on from my own experiences on mine sites and remote stations.  Apart from the drugs.  Probably no drug testing out in space tho.  Maybe these were top terraformers.  It’s only 2093.  Not sure how long terraformings been around.  And hippy scientists probably so obsessed and excited about their discovery and validation when they’ve had to make huge leaps in beliefs and disregard a lot of scientific evidence to the contrary. Taking chances to prove a point or theory. I can believe that too.  I just found the characters very non-stereotypical.

          • http://twitter.com/Ann__Helen Ann-Helen

             Non-stereotypical? Stone-hard bitch leader, stoner, supersticious idiot, robotdude. You know exactly who I’m talking about. And thats pretty much their only characteristica. The rest of the characters didn’t even have that. The characters aren’t explored, and the stoner dude was there JUST to create conflict. That was his purpose: To be a dick, then die horribly. They were all so… Completely unlikable. I didn’t feel any suspence thinking that people might die. Also, at the end, when the captain and the two random dudes popped up to do an armageddon. I felt absolutely nothing when they were giving themselves up for the good of humanity, because I had no idea who they were. ALL of the characters were “Meh…” to the point that I didnt even care if they lived or died.

            Also, there didn’t have to be black goop. At all. The first scene was absolutely unneccesary. It kinda gave away the main point of the movie, before the movie even started. It would ahve been MUCH better, had we found out about them being our big-ol daddies at the same time as the characters. Then there would be suspense, then there would be “Ooh, WOW” instead of “I knew that, movie told me it the first 3 seconds of it”. So the whole life-giving black goop of melty death was just completely unneccesary, when it could have been easily bypassed. And the movie would have made a shitload more sense too, if they also redesigned the space jockeys to not look like albinos on steroids.

          • http://twitter.com/DXU James Ward

            I was just pointing out that myself and a lot of people are interpreting things differently.  I find Prometheus has a lot of very subtle narratives at play.  You obviously don’t which is fine. I’m not trying to convince you to like the movie.

            I will confess that a few parts of the movie that didn’t make sense to me initially have made more sense the more I’ve thought about it.  Particularly the part about the crew not being 100% capable to cope with anything that went wrong.  I now interpret it as they don’t have to be.  The only important member of the crew is David.  He is the only one carrying out the real mission of trying to find a cure for death and save his “father”.  Dumb scientists and silly ideas make no difference to Weyland’s goal of cheating death.  All he needs is to get to LV-223 and find out more about the Engineers and if any of their technology can save him.  All the crew and scientific study is secondary.  This parallels the original Alien.

            There’s lot of mixed reviews out there and it’s creating a lot of debate.  I think that’s the best part about it.  Other people are getting a lot out of Prometheus.  You can at least see that can’t you?

          • http://twitter.com/Ann__Helen Ann-Helen

             It’s not that I don’t see the “subtle narratives”, its that I do, and that the subtle things are so good that it just depresses me that they managed to FAIL this movie so hard, when it had the potential for absolute greatness.

            Instead of making this movie about the subtle things, they instead make it about the stupid horror bits, like the two idiots getting lost, or gory scenes that medically doesnt make sense (srsly that c section…… ) and just filled the movie up with really stupid shit. This movie could have been incredible. But instead of having the focus be the deep things, it focuses on the basic “bad guys are going to destroy us all, but in the meanwhile we’re going to do stupid things to drive the plot”.

            My hate for this movie is that it failed so horribly, when it’s got so many AMAZING things in it. Had the movie only gone with those things, this movie could have been absolutely amazing. Just awesome.

            Also, had they just thought about the science a bit more, maybe hired a fucking biologist to look over the script, then my rage over the idiotic fail science wouldnt be here. I don’t get why it’s so hard to just make the science bits right. ITS NOT THAT HARD.

            And just think for a moment then: If the crew is so secondary, why the fuck are they there? Wouldnt it be easier to just send an army of Davids? In the first alien movie, the crew is there to house the aliens. In this movie, the crew is there to die horribly without purpose. It’s just sad how underdeveloped the characters are.

          • http://twitter.com/DXU James Ward

            Good for you.

  • PeaTearGryfin

    I went and saw this movie with a few of my friends last night. I didn’t have any expectations going in seeing how I really didn’t like any of the other Alien movies, but I was just bored the entire movie. I would call this movie this year’s The Matrix in that it is a pretty movie bogged down with quasi-philosophical bullshit all wrapped around a story that made absolutely no sense. My friends and I kept asking ourselves why anybody acted the way they did in this movie and the only thing we could think of is that there wouldn’t be a movie if they didn’t act like this. The only reason I can give as to why this movie is being so critically acclaimed is because it is a Ridley Scott movie taking place in the Alien universe.

  • ScutigeraColeoptrata

    Wow guys, I hate to disagree with you so vehemently, but I loved this movie and I actually thought it was, by far, the best entry in the series. In terms of writing, story, subltlty and creativity 

    • ItsGotChickenLegs

      was it human intelligence the goo was responding too? Or were the vials were just reacting to the change of atmosphere due to body heat and perhaps carbon dioxide from their breath? 

      I think you nailed it with the sacrifice theme. The focus on the interconnected nature of life and death or self sacrifice for the benefit of life was interesting and perhaps what the film was trying to thread as it’s central theme. “Sometimes you must destroy, in order to create.” I believe was David’s answer to Elizabeth when she asked why the Engineers wanted to destroy us. Evolution requires the sacrifice of ‘unfit’ genes for the benefit of ‘strong’ genes, or as in Christianity Christ sacrificed himself for man’s salvation. “A King has his reign and then he dies…it’s inevitable.” The film certainly drills into the audience that in order for life to flourish and continue, death is a necessity. And lets not forget the Alien’s life cycle requires death for birth just as the Engineers sacrificed themselves for an act of creation, and Elizabeth gave birth to a creature of death. Really the film is saturated in it.   

      The whole “belief” branch of the story was more a way of describing how humanity has defined itself in the shadow of this dichotomous reality; whether it be through the march of scientific discovery or pursuit of faith it is the unwavering need for answers which define our humanity. At least thats what I thought the final exchange between David and Elizabeth at the end was suggesting.    

      A rather interesting concept, and I think thats what bugged me the most about this film; it certainly had the makings of something more. But these great ideas had a rather careless plot drunkenly wadding around them. And with the exception of David, and to a degree Shaw, the characters are too flat to carry such grand themes. 

      • ScutigeraColeoptrata

        I thought the main characters were all fairly complex. Captain Janek, for example, is involved in some highly questionable activities, yet he has a spiritual side (he’s the only one who cares that it’s Christmas), and sacrifices himself to save the human race (he evidently has a high charisma too, since he convinces his crew to go along with the idea without any difficulty.)

        I’m not saying it’s a perfect movie, but I greatly enjoyed it and I think even if people didn’t enjoy the film, they should at least appreciate Prometheus for trying something different. It’s not AvP or Alien 4; those were cash-ins. Prometheus isn’t really an alien movie at all, and instead opts to tell a story Ridley Scott obviously wanted to tell for some time. Even if you hate the movie and thought it didn’t work, you have to admire the effort it took to accomplish setting a personal vision to film.

  • wertan

    Bad? What the hell. The movie was fucking great. You guys are the reason I dont listen to critics.

    • http://twitter.com/ThatBeardguy Guillaume P.

      Because they have different opinions than you? I don’t think Spoony expect his fans to like everything they do, but he’s being honest with what he feels about the movie. People have different taste, you liked the movie? Fine, More power to you, but I do often find my taste match with some critics and I learn to avoid those movies they hate. 

    • Gauphastus

      But.. you’ve already made your own judgment on the movie.
      Why would it even matter that Spoony or other critics have a difference of opinion with you?

      To try to blame them for your own failing to generate meaningful discussion despite a difference of opinion is dishonest.
      It has nothing to do with them.

      For the record, I saw the movie last night and thought it was fun enough. Other people can think otherwise or similarly in a multitude of ways depending on their tastes or external influences.
      It’s part of being human.

      Thus, I posit that you are alien.

      Go back to Kepler.

  • TheTWF


    Put your dog in another room.

    • PeaTearGryfin

      Honestly, If he did put Oreo in another room, she would just be scratching at the door trying to get out and causing more distractions then she is when she is out. Dogs tend to get a little restless when there is something going on in another room and they aren’t there. Take it from experience from a guy who owns a mix between a West Highland terrier and a shi zu.

      I will agree with you though that she did get a little annoying near the end of the review. Even though watching Noah and Oreo play fetch was much more interesting then the movie.

    • http://twitter.com/raven772 Jeff Therrien

      Its a shame he doesnt do that, the dog annoys me so much that i just stop watching spoonys video when i see the dog. Too bad too, because I love all of spoonys stuff, but not enough to put up with a distracting and annoying dog.

    • GreenGear

      –Have you ever had a pet?

      Putting a pet in another room insures it will make more noise to get your attention, and claw at whatever barriers lay between you. It’s not a smart move.

  • ace42

     I thought Prometheus was “not too bad”.

    Pros:  Not braindead sci-fi action; it almost plotted out like a
    short-story / novella rather than a generic survival horror film; it
    averted a few clichés (no-one accidentally or naively lets a contagion
    on board).

    Cons:  There are a few continuity errors (The ‘Engineer’
    should’ve made it back to the damaged ship’s flight-chair before getting chest-busted to match
    continuity with Alien);

    There are a few plot holes / gaps (The pre-credit intro has no
    explanation whatsoever, there is little to no explanation for the
    android infecting the scientist – we assume it’s because he assumes that
    instead of a bio-weapon the organism will create an Engineer for
    Weyland to interrogate, but it’s never really dealt with);

    The ensemble cast is barely looked at, and those that are die either too
    quickly for us to give a shit or are so bland and lame that we’re glad
    they bite it.

    The review touched on a few things that were unfair though; “That’s not
    how scientists talk” – that’s not how scientists talk IN MOVIES.  Not
    all scientists have to be “good”, or “shrewd”, or militant atheists.  The lead scientists are
    whacky scientific outcasts, not well respected and well funded
    researchers.  Yes, it was unnecessary and well worth cutting due to the
    characters being bland and having boring personalities, but yah – not
    implausible or intrinsically “wrong” for scientists to have vestiges of the religious beliefs of their parents or to be gung-ho when their instruments tell them there’s nothing to worry about.

    Weyland being played by the actor who always plays Weyland is a good
    thing, even if they bodged the make-up.  Same “character-different
    actor” trope seldom works well.

    Also, the medical unit in Charlize’s room was presumably calibrated for WEYLAND, who she knew was on board, and she was covering when she said it was for her.  Naturally the pod, calibrated for a man, which thinks it is removing a “generic foreign object”, isn’t going to have “emergency alien disposal procedures” active; and unless the pod botched the op there’s no reason why she’d have internal bleeding aside from the incisions which it itself made – and surgically stapled to fix.  If she’s crammed a lot of anaesthetics into her legs, the pod’s hardly going to dose her further, and who knows what futuristic analgesics they have in the future?

    I’m pretty sure the “curled up guy at the door” is NOT the burned to a crisp guy, but the deep-throated biologist dude who was left for dead earlier – his uniform seems totally unburned.

    Charlize goes to the life POD because it’s closer to the bridge, and the captain has warned her she has very limited time to get off the ship before he crashes it.  He outlines clearly in the script that she’s got like a minute to get off the ship, and he’s going to jettison the lifeboat (yacht) immediately anyway.

    The Engineer alien presumably wants to kill the heroine because, as part of their bio-weapon engineering desire to eliminate all humans, he doesn’t want one of the humans screwing around with their bio-bombers while he’s trying to get it up and running for his nuke-earth mission.

    I liked how to captain asks if the biologist and Geologist WANT to check out what the “glitch”
    is, and when they said “uh, no” he sniggers and isn’t bothered – he’s
    clearly joshing them.

    On the other hand – there were a few issues that really bugged me that
    got picked up on – the geologist with control of the automated probes is
    the one that got lost; the irony could’ve been entertaining, but the
    build up to it was botched.  The fact that he then dies of “acid-melted
    plastic to the face” when all he had to do was LEAN FORWARD so the
    plastic melts out to the floor instead really irritated me.

    Also, the biologist is too stupid to live, seriously – WTH trying to play with snake-aliens?

  • Picard1701

    I somewhat agree with Spoony. I like smart, philosophical science fiction and this movie definitely try to be one of those smart movies. Filmakers were ambitious, but they lack of talent to combain philosophy with coherent story. This movie raise so many question, and give as absolutely no answers. And in the end of the day “Prometheus” is just B class horror movie, and worst thing about it: IT’S NOT SCARY! Instead it was unintentionally funny. Forget about surgery… squid baby was even more stupid. A squid baby, this is right out from first “Men in black” movie. But movie looks gorgeous – kudos for Dariusz Wolski, his cinematography is great.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Rick-van-Hoof/100002579891733 Rick van Hoof

    I think this movie falls apart because of the many plotholes. You can say there aren’t many, but that’s because they plug them with weak-ass loose arguments or dumb actions of the characters. With that, the movie felt extremely weak to me, not bad, but it had no power.
    To be honest, I didn’t even know it was an alien prequel until 30 minutes before the movie started, a friend told me. That’s why I didn’t have many expectations (trailers sucked).

    Anyhow, what realy flipped my boat was at the end, when the giant spaceship started rolling towards the lead female character. Not only is that physically impossible, but that woman ran in the same direction the ship was rolling, tripped, and rolled to the side. Why do characters in movies never duck straight to the side? Why be that stupid?
    Disapointing movie, and it didn’t help that my friends liked it. But then again, they like everything sci-fi and horror related. Nobody seems to appreciate well thought out films anymore.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/Q5LPDAOKRZO7QL3WODHEAVSUOU John

    After the SOPA bullshit, I stopped seeing movies. I don’t care what it is, the movie industry is dead to me and I hope it goes away.

    Can’t believe people still give them money after that.

    • Squiggly_P

      I hope this means you simply stopped watching their movies, and not that you just stopped paying for them and instead started pirating everything.

      Because I will throw you a rant if that’s what you do.

      • jamesgalloway

         Oh, this I gotta hear. Go on, We’re listening.

      • http://profile.yahoo.com/Q5LPDAOKRZO7QL3WODHEAVSUOU John

        No, I just stopped watching new movies. Anything I buy is used dvd or vhs.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cassave-Cleynghelt/100001308454801 Cassave Cleynghelt

    They just don’t make good “philosophical sci-fi’s” any more. I’m gonna watch “The Quiet Earth” again. It has a redhead in it.

  • JennXbox

    So Xenomorphs were made by the Xel’Naga?

  • James Parker

    Coming from a Christian perspective, which I am, the things you’ve been mislead about are that good things don’t need to happen in order to start or keep one’s faith, it’s an internal revelation that each one grasps onto when it comes into their lives (if they choose to accept it). Also if aliens (of sentience) were discovered it doesn’t change the truth, or message, of the Bible because it doesn’t go against anything that’s addressed otherwise. If there is proof we were created by such beings somehow, then we’d have something to discuss.

    • Evan Heery

       You CLEARLY have not seen this movie yet

    • http://twitter.com/DerringerFires Gasket Derringer

       Conceptually speaking GOD IS ALIEN sounds pretty logical to say.

  • http://twitter.com/plastikloeffel El K

    Spoony had obviously a lot of fun acting out that alien penis scene xD

  • http://sbkmulletman.deviantart.com/ sbkMulletMan

    I had to stop watching to give me a moment to pull myself together from laughing.

    I never thought I would ever hear the phrase “oh, you’re a cute little penis, aren’t you?”.  And this is the guy who taught me the phrase “Wants to pee in her butt”.  And Miles’ hentai remark was the icing on the cake! 

    I am so delightfully creeped out right now!  I’ve got the guiltiest grin on my face from laughing at this, I love it.  I’m imagining Spoony doing a demented puppet show to kindergarteners with stuff like this.

  • http://twitter.com/ThePibster Michael Pibworth

    Im surprised that spoony didnt point out how the spaceship was controlled much the same as vegnacock with a fucking magical flute and a keyboard and then a cock cannon came out of the floor

  • http://www.facebook.com/ArkhanTheBlack Arkhan Black

    It wasn’t all that bad. I liked that they made a space adventure movie that is not about fighting and one-liners in this day and age. I do think it badly needs a directors cut, though, because it felt like a lot of sub-plots where cut short.

  • http://twitter.com/TheNikus Omnikus Schlotter

    Get a haircut, hippie ;)

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ICDHG7TLTN6JVK6JMK3TKQFXKQ Mike Wallace

       Dude, Spoony works the Crazy Jesus look. I like it!

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_WONVMESWEFHTUZYWD4XADOSWDY Allaiyah Weyn

      Grow it longer, I want to run my fingers through it….unless it’s greasy.

      Actually, if you put a hat on him, he’s look a bit like a country western singer.

  • http://twitter.com/laFangirlz Amber

    I enjoyed this alot more then AVP 1 or 2.   At least the end wasn’t as eyerolling as AvP. 

    Some of that I agree.  Esp the guy trying to pet the scary penis alien.  That was the biggest face palming moment ever.  

    • MediaGold

      It didn’t really bother me that the guy was interested in a new form of life.  He was a scientist, so this would have been a dream come true for most scientists.  Also, was he wasted at the time?  This might also help account for his reaction.

          Don’t know why people are giving this so point much credence.  Movies like these are only possible through peoples’ stupid reactions.  Hell, the first four movies were only made possible because Kane had to go touch an alien egg and stick his face right up into it.  I guess they could’ve all just stayed on ship, sent out their probes, said “screw that crap!” and then gone home but that would’ve made a very boring and very short flick.

  • Cthulhu07

    Your re-enactments of certain scenes lifted from the movie made this review glorious :D 


    Wow glad I didn’t see this movie.

    Not to defend this move (especially as I haven’t witnessed its failure first hand) but two points:

    1) It sounds like the surgical machine only being able to work with men was supposed to be a reveal that old man Wayland was actually bumbling around on that ship and the extravagant quarters were actually his, while Charlize Theron was just his cover and proxy on the voyage until when and if he decided to reveal himself.

    2) As for actual professional scientists doing dumb f—-ing s— when they should be taking high level safety and quarteen seriously, well this actually happens more then anyone would like to admit.  For an example check out the article “Crisis in the Hotzone” here are some excerpts from a wikipedia summary:

    “In October
    1989, when an unusually high number of their monkeys began to die, their
    veterinarian decided to send some samples to Fort Detrick (USAMRIID) for study. … Early during the testing process in biosafety level 3, … two USAMRIID scientists exposed themselves to the virus by wafting
    the flask. When they eventually tested the samples with known Level 4
    agents, only EBOV [ebola] reacted with the unknown samples. They decided not to
    tell anyone about their exposure.”

    Happened just outside of Washington DC where these researchers spent time hanging out AFTER their exposure to which the decided no one else need know of.

    • http://www.wix.com/enveracomics/ecs/ Julian Moretti

       Yeah i guess it happened but his point is it shouldn’t….

    • doresh

      I think having a really bad accident during your normal job routine is a little bit different than establishing first contact with GOD. You gotta pay more attention to it.

      • spectervonbaren

         I think the point is more that humans are not robots and therefore will not always react to things in a logical or rational manner. All one needs to do is look at what people were doing at times during the Cold War and you can see how humans, even ones in high positions, won’t always do things the best way they should.

        • doresh

          I think there’s a difference between “acting illogical” and “trying to win a Darwin Award”…

          • NMR NMR

            The choices made by those two hotzone scientists could have been a Darwin Award for all of humanity and they knew it at the time they made those decisions.

            Your argument is still fail.

          • doresh

            Which argument? That the scientists in Prometheus act moronic? Or that 2 scientists almost spreading Ebola don’t necessarily excuse a movie from having dumb scientists as well?

      • NMR NMR

         I don’t think you get it.  These scientists were working in a high
        level disease restricted area to test and figure out what plague was
        killing some research facility monkeys (NOTE: many, but not all,
        diseases that ravage and kill monkeys ALSO ravage and kill humans.). 
        Out of F-ing nowhere these dumbasses decide to throw all precaution to
        the wind, take off their bio saftey suits with isolated air supply, and smell the sample to see if
        they can figure out what it is by smell.  Unsurprisingly they can’t. 
        After this beyond-Prometheus-level-of-stupidity they going back and start doing
        the scientifically rigorous test-work that they were supposed to be
        they were supposed to be doing they find out it they they both just snorted active infectious samples of Ebola.

        they have exposed themselves to Ebola, they even test positive for it in
        their own blood stream.  However they are already in a hotzone facility
        designed for containment like this.  All they have to do is tell
        someone over the intercom, and they can be quarantined safely without
        exposing anyone and have their health monitored 24/7 by some of the
        worlds leading doctors at one one of the worlds leading disease research
        and preventions centers.  Instead they tell no one, leave the
        quarantine zone and go about their normal social lives in Washington DC
        potentially spreading one of the worst diseases ever known to mankind to
        everyone they interact with in this major metropolis, and continue to
        do so for weeks.  As it turn out later this ends up being the first
        known form of Ebola that isn’t virulent to humans, so pure luck in light
        of these guys stupidity might have been the only thing that saved North
        America, and perhaps the world at large, from being destroyed utterly by their actions back at the end of the

        I am sorry, but this is way dumber and less excusable then any of the admittedly dumb s— that happens in Prometheus.  If you are on an isolated mission with 17 people presumably the dumbest thing you can do kills all of you.  If you are in the heart of a thriving metropolis, decide to snort diseased samples and discover you are now a carrier for a new unknown variant of one of the of the worst diseases ever, you can potentially kill off all of humanity. 

        Your argument is fail.

  • http://twitter.com/Dope_Danny Danny Smith

    Oh it was definitely good art direction over a terrible plot with a dull soundtrack, but the medical bed was brought along for her father.

    still doesnt make a lick of sense why its ‘males’ only. but this is lideloff we are talking about.

  • LandlordROB

    I don’t know what the hell you people have been smoking, but I really liked this movie. People need to stop thinking that it’s a straight-up prequel to Aliens, you’re not gonna constantly see references and nods to Alien and the Xenomorphs. It’s a sci-fi movie that predates Alien and explains how the Xenomorphs come into creation. It’s about a completely different group of people.

    Going past that, I still had a lot of fun watching it, and it asked a lot of big questions, something that sci fi movies are doing more and more of. The cinematography was great, the soundtrack was great, the acting from the main characters was great, ESPECIALLY Michael Fassbender as the android, all of it. People can sit there and pick it apart and complain about every little thing, but guess what? You can do the same exact thing with Alien. It’s a thriller that demands suspension of disbelief, because that’s exactly what Alien was too. So don’t bitch about Prometheus when you say that Alien was a master piece. So yeah, I guess that makes me part of the minority for liking the movie, and that probably makes me stupid in your eyes. :P

    • TMT1986

      I agree with you. If we start nitpicking on the first two alien movies, then they would be horrible as well (guy has a foreign organism stuck on his face for sometime -> Let’s have breakfast with him!!/Newt surviving for weeks on LV-426 alone. Yeah right…).

      Usually I agree with Spoony’s opinions or at least respect them, but this review and his praise of Scott Pilgrim really show the difference in our taste.

    • doresh

      “Completely different group of people”? With the exception of Ripley, every Alien movie features a completely different group of people. And since Ripley never met the Aliens before the first movie, there’s no other option for an Alien prequel other than to show how the Xenomorphs came to be.

  • http://www.wix.com/enveracomics/ecs/ Julian Moretti

    Excellent point spooners!  You brought out some issues i never really realized like the DNA match and what not. Here were my issues that you didin’t say:

    1) Gravity no matter what part of the universe, ALWAYS acts like gravity… it’s law. Except black holes i guess. Anyways, why are they walking? Nothing on the ship is rotating enough to cause artificial gravity. Don’t give me that “Its future space BS” Only star trek has the privilege. 

    2) When they enter the moon, how come the ship does not burn up on entry? There is clearly an atmosphere…

    3) I guess it’s to save humanity but why at the end does the pilot and the Chinese man have a random 180 turn of character and become suicidal? They show no signs of it the entire movie and in one instant there perfectly fine with killing themselves…. If i were in that situation it would take a lot more discussion before i decided to fly my ship into another….

    4) The alien sperm would not penetrate the female egg. It’s like injecting dog sperm, your not gonna get a half dog half woman creature. OH WAIT, the DNA is exactly the same… i forgot 0_o

    5) I think the surgery pod was to hint that Mr. Wayd or w/e was on the ship and it was meant for him…. Correct me if I’m wrong.

    Other then that you completely agreed with my thought on the hilarity of the surgery scene and how she was able to keep going despite being drugged and have internal bleeping of some kind.

    First thing i asked my friends was how the guys who left first got lost even thought all they had to do was say “Us to Prometheus, which way now?”

    On a final note: I’m sure if they took out the entire middle section from when the two idiots die to when Mr. Wayd or w/e is revived you would of have a more subtle and brilliant movie with the concept of life and instead of bs. The movie should have been about Mr Wayd’s or w/e search for a cure to oldness or death.

    Oh 2001, how you age like fine wine after all these years.

    PS: IF 2001 and Apollo 13 could have artificial fake 0g, why cant this 3 billion dollar pile of ass comedy?

  • http://www.facebook.com/kyle.white.7547 Kyle White

    Wow, just Wow. Spoon I respect the hell out of you. I always enjoyed coming to your website and watching your videos. When it comes to your game reviews their great. When you review a film I can never jump on the band wagon when it comes to your opinion. You make it sound like were not only idiots for going to see those films but were real idiots if we enjoy them. I believe your expectations for films are so high that you can’t enjoy a film anymore. You think 80’s films were so great that nothing can touch them. Well you’re wrong, there still great films being made and you just can’t see it, or you refuse to see it and just rant. God bless continue doing what do best

    -See you starside!

    • doresh

      There might be still great movies around, but this doesn’t mean that EVERY flawed movie is great.

    • http://twitter.com/PKKadin C. B. Tindall

       Go watch his last two movie reviews. Avengers he was in love with and he still had good points to say about Snow White. Yes, people are going to have their preferences. Some will like old more than new and vice versa. There’s no such thing as a truly objective opinion, so always expect some favoritism.

      Don’t feel like you’re being insulted for liking something just becuase someone says it’s bad. You should never take someone else’s opinion personally. You’ll have your likes, and Spoony will show respect for someone’s opinion no matter what he says.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Michael-Blayney/683346875 Michael Blayney

    I haven’t seen the movie, but it sounds as though it fails as sci-fi. We *know* that the building blocks of life, so to speak, can arise spontaneously in nature. We’ve known this since the 50’s, at least. I accept that it’s science fiction, but the central premise is an answered question.

    As for faith vs. science… science works. Faith doesn’t. Get over it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Shaun-Lee/1300641721 Shaun Lee

    You know what?

    Even though your full run commentary didn’t get all the events, nor all the events in correct order, I still found myself astounded at a few of the completely stupid things in this movie that I missed, because my brain just about turned off halfway through. I did not put a single thought about the “male-only” medpod when it should have been an insanely loud alarm going off.

    And this is just very much pissing me off now. Or making me laugh. I don’t know. What I know is that I don’t enjoy anything that I have to turn my brain completely off for. Even linear generic FPSes don’t require that. Waste of my time. Sheesh, I think that pretty much explains what’s pissing me off.

    I also forgot about the religious tie-in too, pretty much showing how weak an attempt it was anyhow.

    Neato movie analysis, both of you and Oreo. The squeaking was quite the astute observation of the movie too. Squeak squeak.

  • Vismutti

    At least in Breaking Dawn it was an emergency and it was just the best possibility they could think of at a moment of panic.

    What I don’t agree is about the faith thing: if it was just evidence denying the biblical world view, religion would have died long ago. But people can always keep on re-interpreting the details as long as they still want to believe. And many people do want to keep believing, no matter what. It’s in fact a very human thing; we’re almost genetically coded to believe in religious things. Even most atheists keep catching themselves having supersticious beliefs, typically about luck.

    And the character must have been pretty shell-shocked by that point so it’s no wonder she would have wanted to hold on to that one comfort she’s had all her life.

    Okay, I have to admit here that I didn’t see the movie so I’m just going by this review. Basically I just wanted to see Noah and Miles ranting. :D Especially Miles, since that’s a rarer treat. (I wasn’t all that interested in this movie, honestly. If they’d said it was super-awesome and a must-see, I might have / probably would have stopped to avoid spoilers, but since they screamed betrayal from the start I was like whatever.)

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Patrick-Sewell/100003109630229 Patrick Sewell

      Dude,just shut the fuck up

      • Vismutti

        What? At least tell me what I said wrong.

        • MediaGold

               You didn’t do anything wrong.  He’s just an intolerant Texas Christian fundamentalist nutjob.

          • Vismutti

            Okay. xD; Thanks.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000065433429 Sam Pagano

      While I agree you miss the fairly important point that these aliens are both very clearly not gods and created the human race life and the way its stated there is no possible logic where it could lead to the conclusion that the abrahamic faiths where anything other than completely wrong (their actions in the very least disproves that god created life and at worst proves he doesnt exist).

    • Ryan Hill

      I don’t agree that we’re genetically coded to believe in religious things, there are a lot of people that are converted to a particular religion or belief system from a very young age, and that’s why there are so many people who believe in that stuff. 

      I actually enjoyed most of the movie, but the cross thing just came off as her being a stubborn human character who didn’t want to give up her beliefs no matter what. A big issue that they brought up that I agree with is that the movie constantly brings up theological and philosophical ideas, but never wants to elaborate and discuss them through dialogue, or anything. 

  • somerussianguy

    I didn’t go to see this movie with any expectations. Bu OH MY GO DID IY SUCK ASS!
    Spoony and Miles comented on basicly everything I had a problem with.

    But the biggest qustion i have is:

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000065433429 Sam Pagano

      They never brought it up in the movie (and no I am not using this to fill the plot hole so it is still dumb) but they could have left it so that when we where advanced enough to be threat we would conveniately get wiped out.

  • Gordon Briggs

    So discounting the AvP movies, perhaps we should dub this “Alien 5: The Final Frontier” :P

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/24JV4W6OYH6OEEH3J6QO4QYRS4 Matt

    46:00 I don’t think that was “Creature”…cause I don’t remember any pregnant women in that 80’s flick. That’s the one with Klaus Kinski where the alien can manipulate its’ victims after it kills them…were you talking about Inseminoid aka Horror Planet from ’81?

  • http://twitter.com/SPBreit SebastianPBreit

    You know there’s something seriously wrong with your planning when even the guys who sent the Von Braun out in SYSTEM SHOCK 2 had at least the good sense to have a destroyer ride piggyback on it… while your idea is to send a one trillion dollar project out there without ANY back up, AT ALL. How am I to take this movie serious again?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sanny-Folkesson/100000746899577 Sanny Folkesson

    its ironic as i agre the movie is werry pretty but the story is writen by a retard, with is funyn as its written by all cliaemd genius wrtier of lost, and read upp some funyn info is the director and the writer dint disagree much as the movei was sett totally difernt as ridelly scot had in mind then it was rewritten, as it was ognna end withthe finding of the big skull and the middle of the movie.

    anoterh thing you dint menation is allso a spoiler… kinda.
    how do all knwo the sollar diargeam… no alien was shonw to be on earth when humans existed, as in the verry begining of the movie you se why.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000065433429 Sam Pagano

      I have to point out that the writers of Lost arent exactly known for being comprehensible… or not retarded, I mean they did fuck up pretty bad at points.

  • http://twitter.com/nkbenn Niklas

    I first saw this movie a week ago, and I finally feel like my bottled-up rage has been vindicated. Thank you, Noah and Miles.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=655701905 Corey Schaff

    I enjoyed both the Positive Review by The Cinema Snob and friends, and the Negative Review by Spoony, Miles, and Oreo

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_3ED5DZPAKEOGC7SW6YN65ACVIA Alex

    I actually like this movie and I totally understand why you hate this movie, but I, on the other hand, was more of the why the Aliens were created and the mystery behind the Space Jockey, I really didn’t care all about the philosophical ideas that the movie presented.   I haven’t read that book that you have mention, but I think At the Mountains of Madness presents a better and more thought provoking idea of human origins. The idea that our existence is nothing more but a joke or a mistake seems more fitting and real. I really hope that Guillermo del Torro’s At the Mountains of Madness is still in the works, despite the fact that Tom Cruise will be starting in it, I said grudgingly. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Valerie-Dicaire/100000800421372 Valérie Dicaire

    You guys nailed it on the head. You forgot a lot of other really stupid things, but yeah those are some of my major gripes with the movie, not to the point of hating the movie though, I’ll come back to that in a sec. I’d like to point out that the medical unit being for male only can probably be explained by the fact that it more than likely was meant for Peter Weyland’s use and not Vickers’, as was the entire life boat really. I’m really surprise you guys didn’t talk about Shaw’s epic ‘roll’, that made me groan so hard… And on that topic, what a disapointing way to go for Vickers… :/ Oh and, if I wanted to see a GOOD movie presenting a science VS religion debate I’d watch Contact again… Christinanity in a Alien movie felt really out of place.

    I will say, though, that I did not dislike the movie like you guys did. I was able to give most of the aforementioned problems a pass. What I cannot forgive however are the PLETHORA of disjointed subplots that are either resolved in record times or are not concluded in a satistfying way. Holloway gets infected, he dies shortly after. Shaw gets pregnant with a squid baby, it’s almost instantly removed. Weyland is revealed to be alive and then dies shortly after. Vickers escapes the Prometheus just in the nick of time only to be crushed moments later. The space jockey takes off to destroy Earth (a plot point that by itself is introduced rather bluntly too), he crashes moments later. He goes after Shaw, he barely has time to do anything before getting killed by the mouth-raping squid. There’s a ton of interesting ideas present here to get excited about but no build up to an epic conclusion. This movie has no climax so to speak. There lies my disapointment. This I blame on the LOST writer, Lindelof.

    I still rate it well above the two atrocities that are AvP and AvP:R though.

  • Logion

    I was about to go with a bunch of friends to see this. I passed because I am not such a great fan of the Alien series. The reaction I got from my friends when they got back from the cinema was pretty much. “What the hell did we just watch?” They didn’t like it. At all. I can not understand why so many critics are liking this movie. I am glad that you are not one of them Noah.

  • doresh

    Lol, didn’t know that some of these stupid slasher-film teenagers survive and grow up to be moronic scientists…

    So the movie is telling me that a creature with the EXACT SAME DNA as me can just happen to be a 15 foot tall albino with super-strength and black death goo for a brain? Ooookay Ridley, you do know that even a 1% difference in DNA can result in an entirely different species from us (like mice) ? This “exact match”-crap is even more absurd than this magic-mutation-dna bullshit from the Doom movie!

    • http://profiles.google.com/sturmovik Mike Brotzman

      When going DNA ancestry stuff you don’t match the entire genome and from the readout it clearly wasn’t.  It was matching against a small subset of what can be considered as “highly conserved” DNA.  This is DNA sequences that doesn’t change across generations and can be used to trace lineage over millions of years. 

      The science wasn’t wrong, just poorly explained.

      • doresh

        Or dumbed down. Hollywood doesn’t want to confuse its audience with weird technobabble, like those fiendish percents ^^

    • MediaGold

           There isn’t much genetic variation between Mini Me and Shaquille O’Neal, so it’s definitely feasible the DNA is close enough for the machine to register it as a “match”.  Also, someone correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t the machine simply say “match” and not “exact match”.  Even identical twins don’t share the “exact” same DNA.  

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000065433429 Sam Pagano

        I saw it twenty minutes ago and I definitely remember “Exact Match” (it even said it in text under it).

      • doresh

        In that case, the computer must’ve really dumped down its analysis result. You could basically take every mammal from Earth and it would claim its DNA was a “match” to our own…

        • MediaGold

          ??  There’s no reason to assume such a thing.

          • doresh

            There is: The difference between our DNA and that of any mammal on Earth is just a few percent points. So if this computer deems a hulking albino behemoth to be close enough to our DNA to be a “match”, what’ll it say about cow DNA?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jeff-Leclerc/100000016846160 Jeff Leclerc

    I’m sorry, I can’t keep watching your video, due to how incorrectly stated the film plot and the cast’s actions. It’s obvious you didn’t want to like this movie from the start, that’s fine. But please don’t lie about what happens in it to make it sound worse then it was.

    • evilguyinsuit

      Lie? Where? I’ve not seen the movie, but I’ve seen several reviews now, and I’m not seeing any major conflicts. At best, some confusion about stuff (like the surgery bed) but it seems pretty clear and backed up to me.

    • Sara Magalhães

      I just saw the movie today and its almost just like spoony told it… I made a huge efford to not laugh my ass out next to my boyfriend since he payed the tickets to see that shit of a movie. I even tried turning off my intellect for a moment just like ppl do for action movies and still I had to go “wtf is this piece of crap??” The story didn´t have good structure whatsoever, it didn´t go where it should have gone and   referencing “Alien” at the end was such a fail… and it goes against what we see in the first alien movie (since its the exact same ship the crew finds and it should have the pilot in the chair with his chest burst opened but instead Kratos is fucking dead in the escape boat) Srsly dont try to defend this movie because it failed hard

      • MediaGold

           The Engineer ship in Prometheus is not the same ship in Alien.  This is not even set on the same planet.

      • http://twitter.com/KashelGladio Dane Corle

        I’m sorry, what? What gave you the impression that the ship we see in Prometheus was the same ship we see in Alien? It isn’t. It’s the same KIND of ship made by the same people, but it’s a completely different ship carrying completely different bio-weapon cargo.

        I will concede, this movie had problems, but overall I enjoyed most of it. Most of the stuff I had problems with I gave a pass due to having equally stupid, bone-headed and nonsensical moments in the first Alien movie (seriously, why would the Company conspire and manipulate a cargo freighter into making first contact with an Alien instead of just sending something more qualified? And for the love of God, Ripley, LEARN TO CLOSE A DAMN DOOR).

        The “it’s because you’re just a robot” scene pissed me off like you wouldn’t believe. I mean, really? Did I seriously just hear that line in a movie made by the director of Blade Runner? Fuck you, Damon Lindelof.

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000065433429 Sam Pagano

          The line was “Thats because you’re a robot and I’m a human” which I agree is a fucking retarded thing to say but less an insult to the legacy of his better films. It also ignores that the robot is by far the most human and interesting character in the story asking questions that really should have been answered rather than quickly dismissed.

        • ItsGotChickenLegs

          I thought the company’s motives in Alien were to use the crew of the Nostromo as lab rats/cattle to the slaughter, not as a means of first contact. The order Ripely discovers, which is backed up by Ash’s confession, showed the company knew all about the derelict and the alien and basically wanted the creature, (as presumed by Ripley) for the weapons division. The set up of an unaware, under qualified crew and Science officer plant ensuring impregnation and protection of the creature were quite clever. I guess a few lowly space truckers don’t really mean all that much to a galactic super company either, so using them as hosts for an alien life form is a ok in their eyes. Plus it gave the company a plausible deniability/ easy to sweep under the rug scenario. 
          The only stand out stupid plot convenience moment in Alien was the escape shuttle that wasn’t built to accommodate the ships crew. Maybe Weyland Corp. is the White Star Line of space towing… 

          Besides that there was sense and reason driving Alien, albeit sometimes stretched. Motives, points and purpose were clear as was the films direction. Prometheus seemed to have a focussed beginning but started to tapper off, like Lindelof couldn’t decide where he wanted to take the screenplay. Because of that the characters ended up too contradictory and unbelievable. One minute a character would have a perfectly human/reasonable reaction to a situation but then they would go and completely negate it by doing something completely out of character or stupid. I still can’t get over an intelligent biologist reaching for a creature who’s behaviour was so painfully similar to that of a angry Cobra. Hissing, growling, puffing up and exposing teeth are threatening gestures so drilled into the human primal subconscious that you would have to be dead or unconscious not to react to them.

    • William Christopher

       Saw it with no exceptions one way or the other… and with the exception of HOW they are providing the info… it’s all legit. The characters were just that re-god-damn-tared. Most of the points they cover and their thoughts on it echo mine. I whispered to my wife, “These are the worst scientists ever” no less than three times.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Matthew-Gaia-Safa-Lintschinger/1652762167 Matthew Gaia Safa Lintschinger

    I liked the movie and I like you.

    The main characters were dumb as bricks, but rewatch Alien for the Ash plot, then go back to Prometheus.

    I believe spoony that you got thrown off by the cast of morons

  • http://twitter.com/ultrassjstuart ultrassjstuart

    It took me a while to realise what they were doing with this film, but in the end it finally hit me:

    They were doing 2001: A space oddysy.
    I mean think of it, it had the thing with humanity creating it’s own life(the AI and in this the synthetic) and seeking the obelisks and creators in serach of the ultimate truth (or the Engineers and Jars in this) and then thought ‘right: we’ve got elements from one of the greatest sci-fi movies ever: now lets throw in some body horror and pointless violence and shit, but we’ll use the general TEMPLATE for an Alien movie but NOT use the aliens, but… tantelise them by making them think ‘oh look, thats sort of like what aliens do in the other movies! Now let’s hobble that all together and I’m sure this’ll be an instant classic.

    Sorry, but this film was so derivative all i see it as is some attemt to make a 2001 remake crossed with an Alien movie.

    Guess what:


  • sifer2

    After watching it I think they should have just stuck with the idea of making a simple Alien prequel. Since their attempt to tackle more complex issues of Aliens creating humanity went no where. I mean the big point of the film I expected it to maybe turn around an get good was when “Kratos” was revived, and they were trying to talk to him. I was hoping to learn a little about them an why they made humanity or all these Alien weapons. But nope he just decapitates the robot, and acts like he is the real Kratos killing everybody. Why bother with all that build up if your just going to have him be a mindless monster anyway?

    I also definitely agree the two guys getting somehow lost despite leaving earlier an having a map was dumb. As was Vickers ejecting in a pod off the ship only to get crushed 10 seconds later anyway. It’s like the writer of the script had no idea where the hell he was going with it. By the end of your just left unsatisfied, and then they try to make up for it by showing a chest burster scene of a not quite “Alien” but close. Almost like an apology saying “Sorry we didn’t make a real Alien prequel but here is this bye!” Then the dumb scientist lady flies off to Kratos homeworld for answers. Like these guys are going to be happy to see her. They are probably just going to shoot her down for bringing all that prototype face hugger **** to their planet lol.

  • evilguyinsuit

    I think I’ve got it. Focus on the Creation angel, and a well written android character.

    This isn’t an Alien prequel. It’s the starting point for attempting to tie Blade Runner into the alien verse. ;) Replicants=Androids+SpaceJocky tech?

  • Senna4ever

    This picture is a mix bag for me.
    It’s not outright terrible, but it’s not a great flick either, but it is enjoyable.

    The trouble I’ve noticed is people have hyped the film up themselves WAY too much.
    I avoided any and everything to do with this film, did not even see a single trailer beforehand. So I went in knowing nothing other than it being a “prequel” to Alien.

    I’m not going to blame Scott for this film as it is directed really, really well.
    I blame the writer. Seems to me they tried to merge Alien with Aliens.
    As I say, it was directed really well…but the characters are dull, crap, inane. They have no reaction or emotion to anything. When it is questioned if Vickers is a robot, I was questioning if all of them were robots. They are there to be empty fodder (see Aliens).
    The scene when they guy (forget his name) that is believed to be dead turns up at the back of the ship all twisted over himself. The rest of the crew just stand there looking. No emotion, no reaction…they just stand there. They previously dead guy slowly “unfolds” himself…and the crew just stand there…doing nothing. Then of course they all get systematically killed. Again, no reaction, no emotion.
    There are other scenes where the characters see things that are not “normal” and have no reaction to them. Watch Alien, while the acting is not Oscar winning stuff, the actors portrayed fear and emotion really well.
    The characters do nothing in this film. They are all way to “mellow” for what is going on around them.
    The story is not that bad, it’s just badly put across.

    Still, I’d rank it over Aliens and Alien 4.

    Another quick point. Not just in this movie but why is it that technology in “prequels” is more advanced than the technology in the films set afterwards?
    They had huge flat screens, touch screen, HD HUDs, (as mentioned) holograms, 3D live maps of the enviorment…then look at the technology in Alien.

  • http://twitter.com/NPC_Girl NPC_Girl

    I went and saw this film a few days ago with my friend, and we ended up argueign over what the hell the ‘space jockies’ were trying to achieve and what this film was trying to achieve. This film was meant to explain things. it explained nothing. Not really the aliens origins or what the space jocky was trying to accomplish. 
    I argued that the space jockies were trying to make some sort of super weapon and had made the human race off their DNA to transform them into a super weapon (aka the aliens) with the mutagen. While my friend just said I was thinking too much into it and they just wanted to wipe humanity out, and the affects of the mutagen was just a happy coincidence, and that perhaps the space jockies had just had a spillage which caused their wipe out, rather than my theory of them breeding an imperfect alien which wiped them out. Which if true explained absolutely nothing about the aliens. And I guess that must be true, because I’ve seen no one else thinking the same thing. And it annoys me, that while there were dumb moments, they couldn’t even try to do what what the film was meant to do. which was to explain the origin of the aliens! 

    • http://fredrikfyhriallmanhet.wordpress.com/ carlok

      It wasn’t meant to explain anything. You are wrong in saying so.

    • Senna4ever

      “they couldn’t even try to do what what the film was meant to do. which was to explain the origin of the aliens!”

      The movie was not “meant” to explain the origin of the aliens at all.This has been made clear since day one.
      It’s a film set before Alien in the same universe yes…but they are not directly connected.

  • http://twitter.com/Jesseraygarza Jesse Garza

    I cant believe this movie sucked. It looked so good in the previews… Isn’t the guy who played loki in it with like blonde hair or something? Or am I getting my actors mixed up again?

    • itbegins2005

       Nah, it’s not Loki– it’s Magneto from X-Men: First Class. Though they do share a remarkable resemblance when they grin…

      • http://twitter.com/Jesseraygarza Jesse Garza

        Oh yeah your right. LOVED X-Men first class. Haven’t seen it in a while so I better watch it again since I made a HUGE mistake getting magneto mixed up with Loki. Sorry about that every body!

  • http://profiles.google.com/sturmovik Mike Brotzman

    I am going to agree yet disagree with you.  While the characters were annoying and they did a lot of stupid things, the movie had a lot of great ideas and that’s really rare these days.  Questions were raised and Scott, for good or for ill, didn’t provide any stupid/easy answers.  Maybe they’ll be a sequel…maybe they’ll be answers in some commentary, but the movie does really make you think and I appreciated that.

  • MediaGold

    Not the same ship or planet so it’s definitely not the same Engineer. 

  • ruben alejandro

    i dont like this movie at all
    i need  my sci-fi plots pre chewed,because i dont go to a movie to have to imagine or think in concepts.

  • James Magne

    About the religon thing. While I have not seen the movie so I don’t know it’s themes, but what you mentioned is not really the basis of Abrahamic religions (Christianity, Judaism, Mormonism, Jehovah’s Witness, Rastafarian Movement). Just because there are aliens does not mean it completely disproves any kind of teaching. Of course the writing was probably stupid in how they wrote in religion based dialogue, but I have a few peeves.

    While in Genesis it says that God created man and woman, that doesn’t really mean that the religion strictly says “Only humanity is the true intelligent life”. Seeing a new form of intelligent life does not destroy this concept. There are sci-fi shows and and movies which do reflect on traditional Earth religions. I think it was Red Dwarf where Catholic monks came onto the station to learn about the other alien race’s religions.

    Seeing an alien will not make someone rip off their cross/any other religious icon. We don’t know how Yahweh (The Abrahamic god) works. There has not been anything in the Bible, or really any religious tome that says “Humanity is the only intelligent race”. While it does say we have dominion of animals, at the time it was written, that was more the wild unintelligent life. Seeing aliens will not invalidate any sort of belief. 

    Sorry to go on a rant, but when someone says something like that, I don’t think “Wow, this person is a dumdfuck” I get a little annoyed and come up with an argument.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000065433429 Sam Pagano

      It wasnt that they saw an alien, it was that the alien species is one that quite literally created the human race. There is a big difference from it just being an alien and definitive proof that humanity was created by something that very clearly was not god and could never have been mistaken for the judeo christian god. I agree that the existence of aliens doesnt really prove the abrahamic religions wrong but what has been shown in the movie was pretty much definitive proof that god doesnt exist.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kevin-Fumero/100000153843491 Kevin Fumero

    Oh what a shocker he hates another highly critically praised movie. 

    If this movie came out in the 80s he would have loved it. 

    • http://twitter.com/Jesseraygarza Jesse Garza

      Yeah? Well, thats just like, your opinion man. :/ Now gtfo! 

      • GreenGear

        Don’t do that.

        • http://twitter.com/Jesseraygarza Jesse Garza

          I think you might be a little confused here. Its the way the comments are set up, it looks like one thing when its really another thing. Unless you get really specific about who your responding to I can see how some people, like you for instance, can get a little confused. Now get the fuck out! :) HAHAHA! LoL, im just joking! :3

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000065433429 Sam Pagano

      You do realize this movie has been recieving some incredibly mixed reviews.

      • evilguyinsuit

         *nods* Especially when you ignore print critics; amongst fans/bloggers, I haven’t seen two reviews quite the same just yet.

  • Gilmour

    I honestly cannot disagree with you guys more. I was utterly horrified while watching this. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000065433429 Sam Pagano

      So where they, just for different reasons.

  • William Christopher

    This has probably been mentioned somewhere in the comments… but the space zombie wasn’t the guy that got burnt, it was the guy that had his facemask melted by the penis alien’s head

    Edit: This movie still sucked though, and I agree with all your statements on each and every retarded scene chalk full of stupidity.

  • jumpy7693

    I actually went to see this movie with a doctor, and according to him, the surgery scene was medically accurate, and that there would not have been any internal bleeding because it used a cauterizing laser to cut. It is sort of stupid that the thing could not give an anesthetic, but it is possible that she made it not give her an anesthetic when she was going through the options. I would prefer going through surgery without an anesthetic than be out cold with a killer alien squid fetus hovering above me.

    Also, the reason it was programmed for males was not a plot hole. It was obvious once you saw Wayland was on the ship that that thing was for him.

    As for what the people who I saw with it thought about the movie, two of them liked it and one hated it. I guess that I had my hopes low enough that I was able to enjoy the movie.

    • William Christopher

      Note to self… do NOT go to your friend if I have any form of injury… he shouldn’t have a license. One cannot just rip their umbilical cord from their body and not have problems. *I* had a friend who had THAT happen to her during her birthing, and she almost died.

      • spectervonbaren

         It wasn’t an umbilical cord.

        • William Christopher

          Given that it was a squid creature encased in a uterus, I disagree with your claim.

          • jumpy7693

             Hey, I was talking about the machine itself, not whatever the girl was doing.

          • spectervonbaren

            I merely assumed it was some sort of goopy left over useless appendage since it was so small and so easily taken out but thinking about it more, I guess it could’ve supposed to have been an umbilical cord.

  • http://profiles.google.com/sturmovik Mike Brotzman

    I should probably deliver some point-by-point rebuttals to some of the perceived plot holes, which I am going to generally chalk up to poor explanation or implicit explanation.  The movie seems to take delight in hiding facts from the audience and making you try to figure it out. 

    First, its reasonable to assume that the expedition is being done in secret or under false pretenses at the behest of Mr Weyand.  Furthermore his spiritual bend and expectations are colouring the makeup of the expedition so that’s why there aren’t diplomats…that’s the job he has reserved for himself and David. 

    Second, there are in fact soldiers, they were just in stasis with Mr Weyand…that’s why a whole bunch more crew suddenly appears when he does. 

    Third, the poor “old age makeup” can be seen as what old age looks like in 80 years after decades of medical advances.  Old people in 2090 aren’t going to look like old people today.  They’ll probably a fuck ton older and treatments that perform cosmetic rejuvenations are probably going to give people a look that would be “creepy” today.  +1 for portraying old age differently. 

    Re the many Captains you clearly do not know how chains of command work.  If you hide a ship you do not take command of the ship.  The captain still has final say over the safety and handling of the ship even if you call the shots about the mission and away teams etc.  Long story short ship captains have Veto power.  Second, yes, there was blurred lines of authority between Miss Vicky and the head scientists…that was the point and that is something that happens in real life in many different situations.  Go get a corporate or government job and you’ll soon see what I mean.

    Re the DNA they weren’t matching on an entire Genome, but what appeared to be small genetic markers that can be used to trace lineage.  It was poorly explained, but its a well known technique. 

    The male head scientist didn’t tell people about his infection because he was so personally involved in the mission.  It was clear that guy wouldn’t let anything get in his way to do this stuff.

    Re the surgical unit, since it had never been used nobody had discovered that it was calibrated for males.  Rich people buy stuff all the time and never think to configure it properly.  Also, while the surgery was a bit far fetched, as my friend said, “she took the surgery like a champ”. 

    Re the lack of painkiller effect…remember its 2090.  Certain classes of painkillers probably got better and no longer have to fuck up your mind.

    The lifeboat was jettisoned so that the two women left behind could use it, however it probably wasn’t rated to be jettisoned in the atmosphere because it clearly crashes pretty hard and there were no crash seats inside.  The life pods were clearly designed to restrain the occupant.  Watch mythbusters and see why that sort of thing is important.

    Anyway, not trying to defend the movie, but just trying to make the criticisms a bit better. 

    • William Christopher

       Too many of your rebuttals are baseless assumptions.

    • http://www.facebook.com/setch.dreskar Setch Dreskar

      Wait a second, you are trying to fill plot holes with more plot holes. If they never tell you that medicine advanced in this era, or they never straight up show you that medicine is in this new tier where painkillers don’t have negative side effects (Which they kind of have to, since that’s how they stop the pain altering how your body deals with it), or that medicine is now so good old people won’t look old, then you can’t say it has advanced. Show don’t tell, or if you can’t do that, at least tell the audience these things.

      The film itself has to tell you, or better yet show you these things, you can’t just pull them out of thin air as an explanation if the movie doesn’t explain it itself. You also can’t just say “Oh well the mission was probably a secret, and/or they are trying to do something shady with it.”

      Yet again, you can’t try and justify actions taken in the film, by things that are never brought up or explained. If they even had one scene where Weyand stepped aside to speak with his men, and hinted at this mission being designed for nefarious purposes it would work.

      Also the fact the super advanced surgical suite only works on males is because the writers probably realised they just backed themselves into a corner. They needed a way for her to get the fetus out in a botched/nightmare way and yet they realised they had this super awesome perfect surgical unit that could do it safely and easily. So they came up with, it only works for men, as a weak attempt to explain it away. This isn’t a calibration issue this is a common sense issue, no medical facility would ever have a device this important that excludes 50% (The numbers aren’t accurate I know but you get the point) of the population from its use. So chalk it up to writers needing a way out of a tough spot.

      My point is, if you have to say things like “probably got better” or it “probably wasn’t rated for atmosphere jettison” because the movie in no way explains them, then you haven’t filled in a plot hole. All it would take is even one line saying “Its as safe as it could get, save if the ship hits atmo then launching it is impossible.” It’s like saying, they only brought 17 or so people, with only a few having military training, no backup, no way to contact Earth or some Authority figure, no plan for First contact, and acting as some of the most backwater scientists of the human race because they probably… actually I don’t have an explanation that could even make fun of that yet keep in context of the movie, that is pretty freaking dumb.

      • http://twitter.com/Enerccio Peter Vanusanik

        Dude, the medpod was NOT CALIBRATED FOR WOMEN, ie IT DID NOT HAVE WOMAN ONLY PROCEDURES IN IT. It can operate on women fine if it is fracture, foreign object or head trauma (or whatever), but when it has to stick its arms to vaginas, it doesnt work. That was the whole point of it.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_MCK6CIYZ2C55FES3NW4BAOTG4E Christina

    Not seen Prometheus yet, but as soon as I saw the trailers it was pretty obvious it was supposed to be a prequel in the Alien franchise, although it also reminded me of Stargate and of H.P. Lovecraft’s novella At the Mountains of Madness (published in 1936). When Guillermo del Toro complained in a recent interview how Prometheus “killed” del Toro’s longstanding plans to do a movie adaption of Lovecraft’s story, because the premise of both stories was too similar, I gritted my teeth. On the other hand, Alien itself was inspired by Lovecraft’s cosmic horror stories… certainly HR Giger was. The key to making a good movie is not “being original”, because every plot and trope that exists has been done before, it’s re-arranging the pieces in an interesting and aesthetically and emotionally evocative way.

    Thing is, there has already been a movie with a similar premise as Prometheus –with humans discovering that aliens once seeded life on Earth, and a character whose feels threatened in her naive Biblical religious belief by this revelation–, albeit this one was made in 1999 on a cheapo budget: a Canadian made-for-TV scifi horror B-movie titled “Survivor”.
    (The US-American release title was “Nightworld: Survivor”, while in Germany the movie was shown on late-night TV under the title “Survivor: Das Grauen aus dem ewigen Eis”, a title which was ironically closer to the actual plot.)

    Reviewers under the nick of Tin Man-5 and Sheenafilm summed up Survivor succinctly on the IMDB.com page:

    “This film is an Alien clone even down to the opening credits. Well
    actually, it’s a clone and combo of several sci-fi classics. Is had the plot of
    “Alien,” the setting of “The Thing,” and a creature that’s a cross between
    the Predator and the Queen Alien from “Aliens.” However, it does have a
    pretty interesting premise. Turn out that human were bred billions of
    years ago at the dawn of evolution as harvest for a race of aliens. But the
    alien crashed and was frozen in the Arctic, and he was perserved until the
    humans revived him in present day. No kidding. And now he want to finish the job
    he started: eat us!  (…)”

    “1,000,000,000 years ago extraterrestrial beings land on earth which is
    still devoid of life. One of the aliens is trapped by a volcano
    eruption and waits patiently until… human beings drill for oil and
    release it from its underground cave. Soon the usual story unfolds:
    some want to kill the beast, while others want to make money from the
    sensational creature, even at the risk of everyone’s life. Although the
    elements of the movie are obviously taken from “Alien” (evil
    corporation), “Predator” (just look at the creature) and “The Thing”
    (isolated station in Antarctica), (…)”

    So yeah, everything has been done before. At least Prometheus will have better production value.

  • http://www.facebook.com/setch.dreskar Setch Dreskar

    Beat me to it, and in much fewer words too.

    • William Christopher

       Was this directed to me, by chance?

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/Q5LPDAOKRZO7QL3WODHEAVSUOU John

    So if Prometheus is a prequel to Alien which was a remake of Planet of the Vampires can we see a prequel to Planet of the Vampires that is a remake of Prometheus?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Discordius-Erisianus/100000352364153 Discordius Erisianus


    I have just watched Gallan and Terroja’s review of this movie. They came out with a very different impression. I almost decided not to watch it after I was done with your review, Spoony, and Miles. Now I’ve reconsidered. It falls to me to decide who is really right.

    About the Christian character, I wonder if that was the way Scott decided to depict how divorced one’s faith is to what they actually experience in this universe. I mean to say: that woman now has proof that humanity has not been created with a special purpose, but she still won’t give up her religious convictions. Maybe it’s the point Ridley was trying to make. One man called Kurt Wise, who received his education from Steven Jay Gould, is usually quoted as saying “Although there are scientific reasons for accepting a young earth, I am a young age creationist because that is my understanding of the Scripture. As I shared with my professors years ago when I was in college, if all the evidence in the universe turns against creationism, I would be the first to admit it, but I would still be a creationist because that is what the Word of God seems to indicate.”

    • Senna4ever

      “It falls to me to decide who is really right.”

      Neither of them are right.
      That’s why they are called opinions.

  • http://twitter.com/Lufteluke Simon Østrem

    Very entertaining videolog, and I mostly agree with your arguments, however I still found the movie enjoyable from an effects and action standpoint.

    Oreo’s squeekytoy made it really hard to watch, though, as it made my dog very worried. She kept looking for the source of the squeeks while whining all the time, almost had to turn you guys off.

  • http://www.facebook.com/chris.noose Chris Noose

    Your dog is adorable.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_MCK6CIYZ2C55FES3NW4BAOTG4E Christina

    Ack, idiot balls, scientists being painted as stupid, and asinine religion-vs-scepticism clichés… that does sound bad. Damn.

    Spoony re-enacting the “Alien wing-wong” scene was hilarious, though.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jesse-Melat/1331583316 Jesse Melat

    Hrm.   Looks I’m pirating a telesync on this one, then.     Ebert gave it a glowing four stars, but….he tends to easily hoodwinked by this brand of science fiction, so…

  • itbegins2005

    I’ve got to say, I am VERY disappointed to hear how vague and unsatisfying Prometheus turned out to be… especially considering that an early “plot leak” described a film that would have been far more interesting to see.

    The “informant” claimed that the movie featured the human crew actually successfully making first contact with the alien creators of humankind, who initially welcome their progeny with open arms. But when the greed and selfishness of certain members of the crew (the Company men, of course) come to light (either by the killing of their teammates or some other act of douchebaggery), the aliens turn on humanity, deeming them an unfit and imperfect creation, and thus dispatch a ship to Earth carrying a biological payload: thousands of eggs containing a genetically-engineered predator designed to wipe out mankind. The remaining humans manage to stop the ship by crashing it into a barren, desolate planet, thus saving the Earth, but dying in the process– so no one on Earth knows what happened to them, what they found, or what’s waiting on LV-426.

    Personally, I thought this plot was perfect! It explains how the aliens could be so perfectly adapted to human biology, and why they show no interest whatsoever in killing other animals (thus explaining the survival of that damn cat in the first movie). It gives the whole “alien creators” idea a more satisfying payoff, and at least gives us a reason why the Space Jockey would be hostile towards human beings (as opposed to this film, where the Jockey tears through an entire crew of peaceful scientists… why? Because he was cranky?).

    I’m still gonna go watch this film in the theater (morbid curiosity and all that), but I’m kind of depressed that a bullshit Internet rumor actually had more substance to it than an honest-to-God Ridley Scott film.

    • spectervonbaren

       Why would the Engineer tear through the humans? Because they were going to destroy humanity even before he went to sleep. Want a motive for why they would want to kill humanity? Unwanted competition as just one example.

      • itbegins2005

        But… WHY?!? Why would the Engineers even give a crap about humans? The glyphs from the beginning of the film only make sense if the Engineers were benevolent creatures who had something to do with man’s creation, but the Engineers’ behavior contradicts this. There’s a fundamental gap in logic here; if the Engineers wanted humanity dead all along, and there are glyphs in cave paintings which clearly indicate that humankind has had contact with the Engineers thousands of years in the past, then WHY DIDN’T THEY SIMPLY ERADICATE HUMANKIND IN ITS INFANCY?!?

        And as for your reasoning that the Engineers wanted mankind dead because they were “unwanted competition”, I ask: competition for WHAT? We don’t know enough about the Engineers’ wants or needs to suss out a motivation like that… and given that the implication is that the Engineers created, or had some part in the creation, of man, that idea is completely illogical. Why would they create a competing life-form that they would simply have to snuff out a few millenia later? For shits ‘n giggles?

        None of this makes any sense!

        • spectervonbaren

           Because they didn’t want to kill us right when they created us. You do realize that there is a concept of changing your mind or learning something new. We humans are trying to create AI’s that have the intelligence of humans in spite of the risk that we could end up with machines rising up against us.

          The Engineers create humans. Humans develop. Engineers have fun with their creations for a time. Engineers realize that humanity is developing faster than the they ever did and that they could challenge them for power at some point. Engineers decide to eradicate humanity but circumstances prevent that from happening.

          • itbegins2005

            First of all, you are making some pretty huge assumptions about this movie. We are never, EVER told why the Engineers decided to kill us. It’s the one question Elizabeth asks the Engineer at the end of the film– the one question that this movie NEEDED to answer to work, or to even have a point in general– and they didn’t do it. You are making a CONJECTURE about why they could have come to this conclusion, but nothing in the film supports this because we’re never given any information on this subject AT ALL.

            We do have a relative time scale for when they might have decided to do us in: the Engineer that had his head chopped off (presumably during the event that stopped the Engineers from killing us– which, incidentally, we are never given a clue about) was dated as being approximately 2000 years old. So let’s assume that what they saw that convinced them that humankind could “challenge them for power at some point” was the Roman Empire. Paved roads, aqueducts, iron weapons– impressive technology, to be sure. But if this is what swayed them into thinking that humanity could one day become a threat– if they inferred from these small spurts of technological proficiency that mankind could one day become a competitor– then why not kill them when they developed language? Or the wheel? Or (appropriately enough) when they discovered fire? It wouldn’t be too hard to realize, as an advanced species that had gone through these phases themselves, where any of those things would lead.

            For that matter, why even bother creating a race so closely related to themselves as mankind if they’re just going to turn around and murder all of them? They know that they turned out as a technologically superior race, so why would it surprise them when we did? And keep in mind, I’m not saying that you’re necessarily WRONG about their bizarre 180-degree change-of-heart when it comes to us… but if that’s going to be a central point of the film, the filmmakers need to at least explain WHY it happened that way. Otherwise, the central thesis of the entire film can be boiled down to a dull, pointless message of “shit happens.”

            Oh, and secondly, there’s no need to be condescending. “You do realize that there is a concept of changing your mind or learning something new”? Go f%$# yourself.

          • spectervonbaren

             You seem to not understand something. I didn’t say they were fearful of what technology we had, I said it could be because of how fast we advanced. Why not do it immediately? The same reason humans would not do it to a potentially dangerous AI unit, because they wouldn’t know exactly what would happen and sentient beings can come up with all sorts of rationalizations or ways to avoid something. People believed that aerial bombing could turn out to be the most humane way to end a war by making it so bad that people would just give up and in spite of seeing it failing utterly they would still continue to bomb cities. People IN the first world war would be stuck in a stalemate on the western front because they were using outdated tactics that weren’t in line with the new ways of war. Living creatures are inherently flawed. And yes, it is a theory. Just like anything about the xenomorphs was a theory when the first movie came out, just like it’s only a theory that Deckard is a replicant in Blade Runner.  My point is that you can use some imagination to fill in things and that doing so doesn’t mean the movie is bad (Jacob’s Ladder wouldn’t have a cult following otherwise).

            Insulting? If I was trying to insult you then I would actually use an insult instead of reminding you that people can change their minds.

          • itbegins2005

            Jacob’s Ladder? Jacob’s Ladder is pretty cut-and-dried– the guy is having a protracted hallucinatory episode prior to his death. That pretty much excuses every bizarre, unexplained event in the film, because it was all essentially the final, feverish nightmare of a man facing his mortality. Prometheus has no such excuse. And as for Blade Runner, the uncertainty factor in that film can be excused because it isn’t central to the plot whether Deckard is a replicant or not– it’s a fascinating facet of the film’s main conflict regarding identity and such, but it’s not the MAIN PLOT POINT OF THE FILM.

            My point, and the reason I brought it up and find it so unsatisfying, is that the film builds up the idea of meeting our creators and learning something about humanity, and then ultimately throws all of the narrative significance of this subject out the window when they actually meet the alien. There really was no reason for the Engineers to be the race that created us, because we never know why they changed their minds, and thus can’t derive any significant meaning from their turning on us.

            See, I’m not talking about the real, in-story reasoning behind the Engineer going apeshit (which, why he would be so murderously aggressive upon first waking up is still bizarre to me– to the point that he would hunt down one single human female at the end rather than just hop on another of the many ships on the planet and finish his mission). I’m talking about the artistic reasons behind it. Rationalize the Engineer’s actions all you want, but the lack of explanation or development given to them doesn’t add anything meaningful to the story at all… and that tells me that the screenwriter didn’t think any of this through as much as you’re suggesting– he just wanted a big, scary alien dude to attack them at the end because, you know, aliens and shit. Aliens kill people, right? We don’t have to explain why, do we?

            If you have to do the kind of rational backflips you’ve been doing to make the movie make sense (and not even in a thematically significant or symbolically rich way, mind you– just to MAKE SENSE AT ALL), then the filmmakers didn’t do their goddamn jobs.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000065433429 Sam Pagano

    Having now seen it ive got to say, this movie seems like it has a ridiculous ammount of stuff taken out of it, the movie is already long but its incredibly poorly paced with things going really quickly and it seems like a lot of scenes that would have gone into forshadowing things where cut (literally every single shocking swerve seems to go completely unanounced or vaguelly hinted at once). 

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_Z4WLNT5RUBBXG32BID3WY5GNIE caxa

    DNA can be a 100% match with the alien because humans have many unexpressed genes. Repressors bind to the operator coding sequences of DNA impeding RNA polymerase’s progress through the DNA strand.  This prevents a  gene from being expressed. The computer most likely compared the sequence of DNA nucleobases without accounting for this.  Therefore an alien can have similar DNA but express different genes.  This is the same reason a hepatocyte looks and functions differently from a neuron even though both cells contain the same DNA.

  • Darcy Provencher

    Well, in reference to the stupid stoned scientists messing with the alien penis, considering one of the symptoms of being high is impaired judgement I can’t say it’s that surprising that they would do something so stupid.

    Of course, that probably means that Mr. Scott realized that no sober person would be stupid enough to mess with the alien penis in the evil death sludge and decided to make them get high to justify it…

  • FenrirtheGreatWolf

    Lol, yeah Spoony does bring valid points. I have to agree with him, the characters are pretty flat and uninteresting for the most part.

  • http://www.facebook.com/john.brumley.3 John Brumley

    I’d be lying if I said there weren’t a lot of plot holes or down right stupid things in this movie, but this review is a very bad retelling of the film itself.  It’s hard to recount step-by-step every plot point in a movie after having only seen it once, so it’s understandable that you’d get some things wrong. 

    The problem is many of the complaints you made about the stupider parts of the movie are just wrong.  There was a security guard with a flame thrower prepared to go on the initial mission with them.  Noomi Rapace’s character doesn’t let him come along though, because she says it’s a scientific expedition, which makes her character stupid, not the movie.  The guys that get stranded in the ship during the storm don’t head back to the room with the vases, they had never been in there before.  They separated from the rest of the crew before going in that room.  They weren’t getting high, the guy with the stupid haircut was smoking tobacco as was explicitly stated. 

    During the emergency abortion her uterus wasn’t removed, just the alien, she didn’t rip out any umbilical cord, she just pulled out one of the aliens tentacles.  And yes, while the movie never says “it’s the future and we’ve got crazy good drugs”, I think a reasonable viewer could guess that a society that’s mastered interstellar travel probably has superior painkillers.  The scientist that the robot infected is not the one that attacks the cargo bay, that’s the scientist with the stupid haircut from earlier in the movie, who took a header into the stream of black alien goop.

    Also we don’t know this is a first contact mission.  They aren’t trying to find alien life, they’re specifically trying to find the aliens that created humanity.  I don’t recall them ever acknowledging these as being the first aliens humanity has encountered.  I could be wrong about that though.  However since Hudson calls the marines mission in Aliens “another bug hunt” we can assume that humanity has encountered other aliens aside from the Xenomorphs.  Admittedly that’s much later in the Alien universe’s timeline.

    Like I said there are a lot of plot holes and stupid things in Prometheus, and I definitely don’t defend it entirely.  The majority of the points you raised were excellent.  There’s one thing that I haven’t heard anyone mention yet though, and it really pissed me off during the movie.  At it’s core this entire movie was really just a way to explain the derelict ship the Nostromo crew explores in Alien, right?  And they go through a fair amount of effort to match the end of this movie up with Alien, except for one thing.  One thing that I cannot forgive.  There was exactly one live “Engineer” in this movie in the end, the one they woke up that killed everyone who then sits in the pilot’s chair thing, and dons a helmet making him look like the “Space Jockey” from Alien, cool.  Awesome, they matched that up pretty well.  Except that after the ship crashes that Engineer then LEAVES the ship to chase Shaw.  Meaning he isn’t in the cockpit to be discovered by the Nostromo crew.  This is a huge plot hole, and since it was speculation as to who the space jockey was that kept the idea for an Alien prequel alive for so many years it’s unforgivable that they got this wrong.

    Sorry this message was so long, love your videos, keep up the awesome work.

    • http://spoonyexperiment.com The Spoony One

      Superior painkillers?  I can kill that one right away by pointing to the scene in Aliens where Hicks is whacked-out on painkillers and unresponsive.

      Also, the guy with the flamethrower was the geologist, and, he says he’s smoking tobacco sarcastically.  It’s weed.

      • ScutigeraColeoptrata

        Well, actually, despite the fact that Alien and Prometheus take place in the same universe, Ridley Scott said that the new franchise would explore it’s own ideas, and given the new biology of the xenomorphs we see in this film, as well as the different kinds of technology, it seems like everything after Alien can be considered non-canon as far as the Prometheus story line is concerned.

        Honestly, that doesn’t bother me, since I think the xenomorph origins in Prometheus are far more frightening than the eusocial ‘bugs’ they became in Aliens and later films.

    • DrBreakfastMachine

      You’re wrong about the ship being the one from Alien. They’re on a totally different planet, and that’s a totally different ship of the same model. Think about it: it flies off the planet without a Space Jockey in it, and without any Xenomorph eggs in, right after David mentions that on that planet alone there were several ships. We’re supposed to assume that the ship from Alien is another Jockey ship carrying a cargo of similar, but distinct “weapons” (eggs) instead of the vases of black goo that the one in Prometheus had. So even though it’s a different ship, now we know who made the one in Alien, and where the Xenomorphs came from. 

    • MediaGold

       Why are people still confusing the Space Jockey from Alien with the Engineer from Prometheus?  Not the same guy, ship, or planet people!

      • Danijel Boskovic

        Of course they are the space jockeys. They establish that there are other ships on the planet, let alone that they are all incredibly old. It would be believable if other ships like this were found on another planet (broken off from a fleet, crash landed etc.)

        • MediaGold

               Of course they’re the same race, but the individual Space Jockey from Alien was not the same individual Space Jockey in Prometheus as many on this board are complaining about.

               I’m guessing those who are confused haven’t seen Alien in a long time.  The Space Jockey from Alien was fossilized so it had been there for a very long time.

    • 8xInfinity

      I beg to differ with “[…]which makes her character stupid, not the movie.” There’s a difference between “a character that is stupid” and “a stupid character”. A character that is stupid is written to be dumb on purpose. Either it has a purpose or it is just to differentiate them. But, a stupid character is one that is just plain written badly. They react for plot convenience, not like a rational person.

      In the end, stupid characters are a key ingredient to stupid movies. All the good direction in the world won’t save a movie from being overall stupid if it’s loaded with stupid characters and plot points right from the start.

      (haven’t seen the movie- just talking general terms)

    • William Christopher

       “There was a security guard with a flame thrower prepared to go on the initial mission with them.”
      That wasn’t a security guard, that was the geologist.

      “During the emergency abortion her uterus wasn’t removed”
      Yes it was, the alien was growing in her uterus.

      ” I don’t recall them ever acknowledging these as being the first aliens
      humanity has encountered.  I could be wrong about that though. ”
      You are. They mentioned, in the movie, that these were the first confirmations of other life. During the pool table sulking scene if I recall correctly.

      You’re wrong with every point you raised as a counterpoint.

  • searanox

    Here’s a question I was hoping could have been answered in the review: could this movie have been saved by a different script?  Are the problems with it purely issues with the plot and characters, or are there any issues with direction/tone/pacing that rest firmly on Ridley Scott’s own shoulders?  He’s obviously a great director but is this a case of him doing things by the numbers, or doing a bad ripoff of his own work?

    • William Christopher

       Sure… if they changed everything about this film except the name.

    • Danijel Boskovic

      Very likely. The direction and acting was great throughout. What the characters say and do was inherently incredibly stupid, but their delivery was excellent.

  • http://optimussean.wordpress.com/ The Sean

    I am SOOOO glad you guys thought what you did about the movie. I didn’t gave a very favorable review of it myself on my own site and I caught ten kinds of hell from friends and fans so I felt like I was the only guy who didn’t like it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=696559890 Jimmy Vestberg

    It`s a small psychevaluation for the crew and a big fuck up of a mission.

  • http://boorat.deviantart.com/#/d4c9c3t William “BooRat” Blackshire

    I still can’t wait to see this Tomorrow(Sunday)! I’ve heard good and BAD things about it and I’ve read the wiki page on it so I basically know already what’s going to happen(also this review spoils everything pretty good), but there are still plenty of surprises left(I still wanta see the freaky aliens since if my sources are correct Giger did do concept designs for this one as well)!
    I think i’ve seen Creature before isn’t that the one where some astronauts get infected with an alien virus that mutates them into the creatures?  A lot like Species 2!?
    The plot is a lot different than I was expecting! From the earlier trailers and what little was given away I was thinking one of 2 possibilities! 1.) it was going to be a prequel to Scott’s original cut of Alien in that how the xenomorph operated was a lot different than what was established in the sequel. In that it wasn’t a hive species in how it reproduced, but it cocooned other species and turned them into eggs which needed another human to act as a host for the facehugger/chestburster which would’ve been fine and all, but I was more into the hive and queen set up. 2.) it was going to have a very similar setup as the 1st Aline in that the crew go down to that planet and find that temple/ship and bring one of those canisters on board their ship and it releases some sort of virus and slowly mutates 1-3 of the crewmembers into like proto-xenomorph and it be like Alien in that these people are trapped on a ship on a planet that is hostile with these mutant/alien hybrids trying to kill them and maybe at the end it’s reviewed they’re turning into either the Xenomorphs themselves. And, the Space Jockeys were just humans in weird looking space suit or the mutated crew-members! You know what I mean like a better version of those 90-00s space horror movies they made like Super Nova(2000)(that was the one where a weird alien nuke basically gave off this euphoric radiation that mutated people and gave them power and there was this thing in there about going into like warp-speed/hyper-drive that it could messup your molecules as there was a scene of a guy that was fused into the glass of a pod and it was nasty) or those deep sea horror/sci-fi movies like Sphere(1998) or even like the Species franchise! 

    I like Oreo here that the most playful dog I’ve seen!

    I think right from what I read on Wiki and seen in other reviews that surgical robot bed pod thing in the lifeboat was meant for old man Weylon so he could get like alien genes or some BS like that done to him so he could be young again or mutated into a higher being!  

    Thank you Miles some one else that seems to agree it’d probably been better if Lance Didrikson was brought in to be old man Weylon!  Also is it said that some of the elements of this movie seem to be a lot like the ones in the AVP movies and/or comics!?  Like the red laser balls that scan weren’t something like them used in Requiem?  Also the who concept that alien(Space Jockeys in some cases and Yuajitas in others) the ones that made or advanced humans to what we are today in their movies or stories!?  This is actually not the 1st time that the Jockeys are used as the creator species as I think there have been some alien novel series where that was the case!  And the Xenomorphs(the proper name for the Aliens in most stories) are the product of the Space Jockey’s experiments and or study of other planets!  But in most cases the Jockeys are a long dead race because the Xenos wiped them out as they’re in the made as a weapon species stories were made to be able to be dropped off on a planet and they’d literally kill the whole planet as they’ll keep reproducing and a killing till there is no life left anywhere and once there is no life left the ecosystems go critical and all planet life dies off and the planet is completely uninhabitable! I could be wrong but I think there was even a story somewhere where it was revealed that the Aliens that gave the DNA code to the humans in the species movies to make Eve were related to or were the Jockeys!

  • http://boorat.deviantart.com/#/d4c9c3t William “BooRat” Blackshire

    Also isn’t there like a species of fly out there some where that shares the same DNA or RNA as humans?  It’s just one of those weird facts about how DNA works?

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jesse-Melat/1331583316 Jesse Melat

      Well, all life on our planet shares a good about of its DNA…the genetic codes of humans and banana trees are 50 percent identical.    But the only instance of 100 percent identical DNA is in twins–clones, essentially.   Small differences can have _vast_ consequences, but 100 percent identical means clone or twin, there’s no getting around that.

      • http://boorat.deviantart.com/#/d4c9c3t William “BooRat” Blackshire

        I think i was mistaken I was thinking of this list of odd trivia about the human genome:
        “the first publications analyzing the sequence.
        The human genome contains 3.2 billion chemical nucleotide bases (A, C, T, and G).The average gene consists of 3000 bases, but sizes vary greatly, with the largest known human gene being dystrophin at 2.4 million base pairs.Functions are unknown for more than 50% of discovered genes.The human genome sequence is almost (99.9%) exactly the same in all people.About 2% of the genome encodes instructions for the synthesis of proteins.Repeat sequences that do not code for proteins make up at least 50% of the human genome.Repeat sequences are thought to have no direct functions, but they shed light on chromosome structure and dynamics. Over time, these repeats reshape the genome by rearranging it, thereby creating entirely new genes or modifying and reshuffling existing genes.The human genome has a much greater portion (50%) of repeat sequences than the mustard weed (11%), the worm (7%), and the fly (3%).Over 40% of the predicted human proteins share similarity with fruit-fly or worm proteins.Genes appear to be concentrated in random areas along the genome, with vast expanses of noncoding DNA between.Chromosome 1 (the largest human chromosome) has the most genes (3168), and the Y chromosome has the fewest (344).Particular gene sequences have been associated with numerous diseases and disorders, including breast cancer, muscle disease, deafness, and blindness.Scientists have identified millions of locations where single-base DNA differences occur in humans. This information promises to revolutionize the processes of finding DNA sequences associated with such common diseases as cardiovascular disease, diabetes, arthritis, and cancers.”

  • http://www.facebook.com/marcus.w.fridley Marcus Wayne Fridley

    Literally just got back from seeing the movie- was very low on expectations after watching a bit of the video. But really you must have gone in with high expectations. It was okay. Visually awesome. Storywise eh. People were laughing at the movie in the theater.


    Spoony I normally love what you say but I was surprised that you didn’t like this.  I am far from one of you whinier fans but really, complaining about the “Asian guy who flies the ship and guy who hangs out with Asian guy”  Not everyone you see on a movie is going to be all that important.  This isn’t Star Wars where some wookie in the background denotes 6 paragraphs of backstory.

    Holograms….so what.

    Okay, the surgical bed is bad foreshadowing, but thats all I can think of.

    Other then the nerdy dork with the big glasses, I didn’t hate any of these people and found none of them other then the tatooed guy annoying.  Maybe thats why they eat it in the middle.  These two guys with the mapping balls even if they weren’t lost wouldn’t make it back to the ship anyway after the storm came.

    Spoony, sorry but this review is largely too much nitpicking and bitching.  Sorry you didn’t have a good time but I didn’t feel enough genuinely wrong with this movie to warrant such a response.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1045530038 Jeremy Brooks

    I think there needs to be a recorded video conference between Noah and Miles and Jake and Irving over at thecinemasnob.com. With their vlog about how they displayed how “Madagascar 3″ was horrible, a discussion on which was worse may be very highly amusing. Lol.

  • http://twitter.com/ekasnia eric j kasnia

    I saw this movie and feel violated and some of my favorite movies are sci fi weekend movies and I can say it barely belongs with them

  • http://twitter.com/ekasnia eric j kasnia

    I saw this movie and feel violated and some of my favorite movies are
    sci fi weekend movies and I can say it barely belongs with them 

  • Sir_D

    As someone who is working on his BS in Microbiology I can tell you that most of the science in this flick is just crap.  Visually, as many others  have said, it is stunning and the CG is really great; however, with so many different people working on the screen play- wasn’t there three additional people who worked on it, at least I got the feeling that this was different scripts with the best from each added together- I couldn’t help but see character motivation and development take a back seat.  It will be a film that will sell a ton of DVD’s for the extras alone and will rank slightly below Aliens 3.  If they want a sequel though they will need to tighten up the script substantially and the science.  I mean why would Theron not go to the life boat save the writers wrote her around it, as you pointed out also Spoony… what can one expect though from one of the guys who brought us LOST *fog monster cough, cough.*  Hell, my wife had an emergency c-section with our first kid and she wasn’t able to move for several days other than to go to the bathroom let alone run for her life.  Still, I loved David (in spite of his mixed motivations and the way the crew treated him like trash) and the ship design. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Robert-Yarber/100000024350868 Robert Yarber

    I generally agree with all your points Spoony, this movie highly disappointed me.

  • lordschmee

    A few of the problems you had, I didn’t really notice or care much about, however, there’s one thing you never mentioned.
    The surgical suite was programmed to be able to remove foreign bodies from a person. Now.
    Why does it lack the ability to eject, or even isolate and incinerate these foreign bodies upon removal? Doesn’t that seem like an incredibly useful thing to do? Even if it’s usually used to remove non-living things, you’d think the option would be there JUST IN CASE a living parasite of some kind was inside the person. It can’t’ve been that hard for the pod to monitor signs of life from the parasite.
    Instead we have the doctor screaming and fighting off the tentacles flailing blindly at her ’til she gets out. I guess it’s a good thing ’cause the big Kratos bastard gets killed by it anyway, which was probably why it didn’t get incinerated, but ejecting it at LEAST seems like a good idea. Maybe it’s just me.

    • ScutigeraColeoptrata

      It’s a very quick clip, but Shaw does activate a sterilization gas in the pod, presumably killing the alien life form. It just turns out that the life form was too resilient to be killed by the gas.

      • lordschmee

        Oh no, I know. I saw that part. :P I’m just saying, if the pod is programmed to “Remove Foreign Bodies” from patients, shouldn’t it also have the capacity to isolate them and destroy them, separate from the main pod? 
        Whilst Shaw waits for the staples to go into her, the pod to swivel slowly round and open up, she’s basically exposed to anything the squid creature wanted to do to her. She’s lucky it was only a squid, but if it had claws she’d’ve been shredded apart!

        Surely if the programming is there to remove them, you’d at least suck them into a separate chamber or something for examination or disposal.

        • ScutigeraColeoptrata

          That’s a good point (though I suppose most foreign bodies wouldn’t be able to move and actively attack you.) I notice that most medical equipment in science fiction films tend to have flaws which make them deadly and unpleasant, especially in this franchise.

          • lordschmee

            They may not be able to attack you, but they certainly could be dangerous, like if you’d swallowed a bomb or poisonous item, those are just random examples but you get the idea. There’s also parasitic organisms which we have here on earth. Even if it’s not entirely necessary to remove it, I’d expect it to be isolated anyway – it’s not dangerous but it is unpleasant, and high-tech surgery pods (I’d expect) would isolate the foreign body from the patient as soon as possible.

            But yeah, I agree. From a story-telling standpoint alone it makes sense… practically it doesn’t.

  • Random45

    This was probably the most funny Vlog you’ve done. I was laughing so hard when you were talking about that alien penis monster thing, and about when the alien head exploded. Both of you guys were hilarious. 

  • http://twitter.com/CommieCatGirl CommieCatGirl

    Wow, I’m glad I watched this before I saw the movie.  

    • Mokuren

       Why are you a commie catgirl with a mousegirl avatar?

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cart-Man/100002326540155 Cart Man

        Why do you care?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jesse-Melat/1331583316 Jesse Melat

    Just got done watching it…while I think you guys were a _bit_ too hard on the film….it’s still an ‘eh’ at best.  I can forgive the plot holes and fill them with nanobots, but….the flick just takes itself too seriously.   

    All the “god” stuff is given to us in dialogue, and no _good_ movie should ever have to hand-feed us this kind of subtext–it should be in there organically, thematically.  It also ends with a fight between Pinhead and a Giant Squid.   The “squid-baby” is….a literal squid.  Not a squid monster, not a squidalien, not a squidmorph….its a “You can go to an aquarium and see it” squid.    At first I thought they were trying to some kind of neat thing with the nature of evolution and life by having her give birth to a literal squid, but….no, its just a squid.   It meets Kratos, they fight.   They explode.  The End.  

  • siatome

    Just to chime in about the christianity thing, creationism isn’t QUITE as cut and dry as you would think, in fact theres a part in genesis about the “sons of God” lusting after and sleeping with the “daughters of men” and together producing a race of what would be considered demigods, giants or even monsters. Extra biblical ancient texts talk about these “watchers” and their offspring not only falsely passing themselves off as gods and calling themselves creators, but teaching man the art of war and “magic”.

    This of course led to all of mankind being corrupted physically and otherwise. Subsequently God sends the flood killing everyone except a few pure individuals in order to save the human race from the influence of these evil watchers and their offspring.

    SOOO if in the end she believed the engineers to be in fact, false creators, corrupted, evil, fallen, former servants of an actual creator, and that they were descended from an ancient fallen race that had dealings with mankind and were recorded in the bible, then hey guess what, she could back that mess up with 3500 year old biblical books, biblical books that are already used by scientific proponents of the ancient astronaut theory to help lend validity to their claims. 

    I am not saying thats what happened or thats what she thought or even that it is what they were going for, just saying that science fiction and christianity are not mutual exclusives.

    The more you know eh? :-)

  • doresh

    Oh, before I forget: You guys liked Kingdom of Heaven? And here I thought me and my family were the only ones who liked that movie XD

  • BlazingOwnager

    Answering some plot holes..

    .. the surgical suite was brought on board by Weyland, for Weyland.  That’s why it wouldn’t work for her.

    .. also they didn’t see the two idiots get eaten because the Captain was busy getting it on with Charline’s character.  Which is pretty hilariously stupid if you think about it, too.

    • Danijel Boskovic

      The Captain’s come on reminded me of “the priiize” from Mass Effect 2 lol http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3wO4IOJc9U

    • http://www.facebook.com/jscottdavid Justin Scott-David

       Yeah, I can’t believe Spoony couldn’t have figured out that the surgical unit was for Peter Weyland.  Also, the infected guy that attacked the people outside the ship was the geologist whose body was nowhere to be found in the vase chamber.  Spoony was originally right about that, but Miles convinced him otherwise.

      When Spoony doesn’t notice stuff this obvious, it makes me think he’s so concerned about being an intellectual, he misses what’s right there in front of him.

  • mobtank

    What most people who say they like this movie don’t seem to realise is that if they didn’t pay money like sheep all the time for subpar crap then maybie the studios wouldn’t get away with making so much of it.

    Pay for good quality and avoid the bad stuff, they will be forced to make better quality products or perish.
    When you pay for crap, reliably, they will continue to feed you crap (evidence Star Wars).

    Stop trying to fool yourselves with “it’s not good but I can force myself to like it” thoughts, they will not be to your benefit, only the greedy subpar film-makers’s.

    This movie is insulting to our intelligence, it’s just trying to cash in on a famous franchise and has characters and plot that is on AvP level of stupid (like the insanely fast growing alien fetus), especially that surgery scene.

    I saw an episode of House where he has 3 tumors growing in his leg (a result of trying an experimental muscle re-growing drug), and he decides to take them out himself by setting his bathroom up as a makeshift OR.
    THAT scene was very unconfortable, and at the same time fascinating, to watch because of how realistic it actually was, and what it shows is that basically, even taking a mass the size of a penny out of your body yourself while awake is almost not possible to do (after he gets the first one out he is sweating and shaking so badly that he has to call for help and get driven to the hospital).
    Ripping your uterus out would not only case so much pain that you would probably pass out, it would incapacitate you for a long time, if not flat-out kill you due to the massive organ damage and bleeding it would cause.
    It is also distasteful and I would get about as much enjoyment from such a scene as I would from a rape scene (that is to say less then zero).

    Besides, why did the robot even infect that guy in the first place? What was he trying to accomplish? Who told him to do things like that? Why?

    PS. Horror movies that rely on the characters acting insanely stupid for any kind of horror to happen is the worst kind possible, especially high production value stuff that want us to take them seriously.
    After this, Redley Scott’s credibility dropped by quite a lot in my book.

    • ScutigeraColeoptrata

      I’m not getting a cash-in vibe from Prometheus; a cash-in would have been another terrible remix of Aliens or something fan servicey like AvP. Whether you love it or hate it, Prometheus isn’t an Alien movie and definitely has it’s own identity, which puts it far ahead of most science fiction films coming out today in my opinion.

      I also don’t find the film insulting to my intelligence at all; quite the opposite in fact, as the film expects the audience to pay attention to small details to deduce character motivations, as the script largely avoids exposition and leaves many questions unanswered. We’re never completely sure why David does what he does (just as we wouldn’t be sure in real life), but if we look at the clues the film makers show the audience about his character, it starts to make sense (recall the scene with Lawrence at the beginning? David puts the drop of alien goo on his finger in exactly the same way.)

      But hey, you don’t have to like it, just please stop calling me and everyone else who liked the movie a tool.

      • mobtank

         Are you even aware of how much of a tool you sound like in that reply?
        You say that the audience has to pay attention to details to deduce motivations and that it’s not insulting to our intelligence when the characters act like morons almost all the time.

        There is no way scientists would act like that (my brother is a scientist, so I know what I’m talking about).
        They would NEVER take their helmet of on an unknown planet the first time they walk on it, they would keep alien organic findings in quarantine and analyse it with robot arms and such, they would NEVER plug the equivalent of a car battery into a severed alien head “just to see what happens” (especially not before taking any kind of samples from it), they would NEVER EVER touch an obviously agressive life form that is showing every sign of being angry (you don’t even need to be a scientist to figure that one out, most normal people can figure that out on pure instinct), nor would they get high in that sort of situation (seriously, thats one of the worst insults).

        Also you didn’t answear my complaint on the fact that the alien-pregnant woman should be dead or unable to move after that “surgery” (which, by the way, is also insulting because no surgery would ever be performed like that, ever. That entire scene’s purpose is blatant, tastless shock value and nothing else)

        They also want us to buy that the alien guys have 100% identical DNA to humans, which is utter bullcrap because you can CLEARLY see that they are very different (not even siblings have 100% identical DNA unless they are twins).

        And why did Kratos fire up the ship to fly to earth and bomb it? What purpose does that possibly serve? And how the heck would the humans know that that was his plan?

        In order for a sci-fi horror movie to be enjoyable you have to be able to suspend your disbelief, and that is kinda hard to do when the movie has so much stupid things in it that hurls you out of the experience like a trebuchet.

        This movie does not deserve to make money, and yet it will because of people who go to see it just because it has Ridley Scott’s name on it or because it’s in the alien universe (which hasn’t been good since the second movie). These people are utter sheep and it’s their fault that film makers can get away with making crap with a nice stamp on it (again, the exact same thing happened with the Star Wars franchise, and we are still feeling the fallout of that disaster).

        Stop supporting that which does not deserve your money, support stuff made by film-makers who actually care about their creation and make movies that don’t insult their audience (like Iron Sky and The Avengers)

        • ScutigeraColeoptrata

          Dude, chill out. It’s a movie. Yeah, the crew acts in a less than professional manner (which is actually a plot point), and yes, a quick and nasty surgery like that would leave most people in a state of extreme trauma (though, again, there is the unknown factor of medical anesthetic being more powerful or having different properties in the future. I wouldn’t be surprised if Ridley Scott releases some kind of manual in the future about some of the equipment in the film.) As for the alien genetics and the plan to attack Earth, those are also explained in the film’s plot.

          But even if this really was the dumbest science fiction film ever made, you’d still sound like a jerk for passing judgment on people who like something you don’t. I don’t like the Star Wars prequels, but I don’t go around calling people who like those films ‘sheep.’ Pretty much the only science fiction film that ever attempted to be realistic was 2001: A Space Odyssey, and everything else sacrificed realism for the sake of plot and pacing. Stop saying that people are sheep and that the film doesn’t ‘deserve’ to be successful because it doesn’t meet your personal standards.

          People have different tastes; deal with it.

          • Renjick

             You do that. And thanks for helping Hollywood validate the crap they produce yearly. Cheers.

          • ScutigeraColeoptrata

            K, you boycott Hollywood, I’ll keep watching movies. Everybody wins.

  • Henrik Johansson

    Nice acting there Spoony, you should see if you can get a place in the sequel and be horribly killed in it while poking something you do not understand.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1673310152 Julian Andreassen

    You did forget something about the black goo. The black goo is a special liquid that breaks down the DNA of the lifeform that drinks it/has it injected into its body and then it uses the broken down DNA to create a new lifeform. So the doctor that had it was dying, he wasnt turning into an alien, also, he isnt the one that was outside later on, the guy that started throwing people around was the geologist who had his face burned because of the mask he wore melted inside the alien ship, and he then also somehow became enraged and incredibly strong and started kicking ass. Also, those alien penis things came from maggots that you earlier could see that was exposed to the goo, and their DNA must have been broken down and must then have been turned into those alien penises. Also, didnt you see the alien in the start of the movie drinking the black liquid, having his DNA broken down, and then after he fell down the waterfall and his cells was mixed in the water you could see cells being built up by using the aliens DNA, and then the cells expanded and what i am pretty sure of then is that those cells were pre-human cells.

    They didnt say that the alien they had taken a DNA sample from was human, but they said that the DNA matched human DNA, or that the human DNA came from it.

    The surgical suite was on board for Weyland.

    They had weapons on board, but Elizabeth didnt want to have weapons brought outside the ship.

    Dave survived because he is an android, and as you may remember from the alien movies, the androids can survive without a body.

    I think the aliens planned to take the black goo to earth so that they could create a new lifeform out of the human race. What kind of race i dont know, but that is just what i think.

    And the movie isnt that bad, i liked it. The effects were good, the filming was great, the acting was good, there was a lot of suspense, some of the characters were bland, but some of them were interesting, like David. And i think this movie really was about the exploration of something greater than you, to find out the answers of life, but in the end they ended up with more questions of what purpose life has and how disapointing the truth can be. This movie ended up not making sence to you, but everyone is different, everyone has a different point of view of things and everyone has a different mix of preferences.

    Now, i love your reviews and your look on things Noah, but i dont think you are looking deep enough into this movie, i dont think you are doing this movie justice. Coming to think of it, i can remember that after the movie was done and i was heading out of the cinema, i heard some idiots calling Prometheus a ripoff of Alien vs Predator, and if thats the case, those guys really dont know what they are talking about.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Patrick-Wells/13805208 Patrick Wells

    Julian here wants this movie to be good so bad that he’s rewriting a better film in his head. This script was downright TERRIBLE, end of story.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1673310152 Julian Andreassen

       There was bad parts yes, there was parts that literally insults out intelligence like the abortation part, but it was sort of the discovery of the unknown, the search for something greater which has been done many times before that i liked with this film. But the reason for why i wasnt so offended by this movie as for example Spoony is because i dont get offended easily, and i dont really take it personal when a movie in a way is trying to insult my intelligence and i dont take offending scenes that serious in movies, and when i now think about the movie, it isnt as good as i thought it was after i saw it, but it was still a movie i dont regret seeing, even though how disapointed i feel now, a week after seeing the movie, but i am a huge alien fan, and i still got to see how things happened in the past of the alien movie.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Filipe-Isabelinho/100000173498272 Filipe Isabelinho

    I actually kind of liked it, I mean, I was just expecting a movie where they visit a planet and everyone dies, nothing much else happens. But there was something else happening. I guess I liked it just because I wasn’t expecting much, but yeah I guess it could’ve been better and would’ve liked to see something better. I dunno, I enjoyed it.

  • Dreammirror

    Hey Spoony! I just wanted to add my 2 cents on the question you raised near the end concerning her faith being undermined by the existence of alien life.  I do want to say first, this is only my opinion, and I am not trying to start a religious debate or anything of that nature–spoonys website is for fun & laughs, not politics/religion/arguements-I am only responding to his question as simply as I can and will understand if he needs to remove this if people start having issues with it or whatnot.  As a christian myself, I have no problem with science and its theories concerning the universe, origins of life, etc.  Without going into a lengthy religious debate, I would point out that in the middle ages, the scholars, academia and church held to the idea that the earth was flat, and the center of the universe, as scientific fact.  They rejected the quaint notions that greek scientist Aristotle(& others) pointed out that the earth was in fact round due to the evidence of the earth’s shadow on the moon as heresy.  In other words, despite our knowledge & science, we constantly discover new and exciting aspects of the universe that expand our knowledge constantly-to cover our eyes & pretend we know it all, is very foolish. I can not prove or disprove God’s involvement in the universe’s creation, nor can any scientist prove or disprove his lack thereof-its a simple matter of faith.  I believe the bible gives us what we needed to know(or could understand at the time, and no more).  Our universe seems to operate with certain rules and laws-but were those created by a supreme being or by chance?   I choose to support the former, but as I can not prove/disprove it, I do my best to respect others if they choose the latter.  A much, better source that covers this is the book Contact(the movie toned this down considerably)—A very good story that does indeed deals with science vs religion as first contact with alien life is discovered.   “There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy”-William Shakespeare.         -Dreammirror

  • Sheffield_Dallas

    Noah, this is the thing about Prometheus, everyone is going to have a totally different opinion about it. This movie will divide people for years: whether you like Prometheus or hate Prometheus. Lewis put  it best when he said it was “interesting” This flick isn’t Scott’s worst movie (Hannibal). It’s biggest flaw will always be the hype. Overhype, Underhype, prequel versus original movie. It’s not a “bad” movie, not in the sense of Star Wars Episode II. It’s just a movie that nobody knows what to do with it. Is it “good”? Is it “bad”? It doesn’t matter one way or the other because it’s your opinion and there will never be a general consensus. There will never be a day when all critics and fans will shout, “Prometheus was a good/bad movie!!” If people learn to accept that, then they will learn to appreciate the right of personal opinion.

  • http://www.tombadguy.com/ Tom Badguy

    I agree. This movie was LAAAAAAME, bored me to tears. Not that good AT ALL.

    • Radu Barzoi

      you fool

  • Danijel Boskovic

    Hi Spoony! I’ve been watching your reviews and loving them for a long time, but this time I’ll come out of the woodworks to post a comment. Like you, I’ve been looking forward to Prometheus enormously – far from wanting or expecting another Alien film, about Ripley&co., it’s very obvious that they were gunning for something much greater to explore and I dig that.

    Like you, I found just about anything anyone ever does or says in this film mindbogglingly stupid. And it clashes very heavily with the overall serious and realistic tone of the film. David was by far the only really interesting character that carried a lot of dignity and earnesty. The heavy-handed and crude religious symbolism stunned me in how laughably bad it was. Disclaimer: I am an atheist myself so religion rubs me the wrong way by default. However this film is about the origin of life, other lifeforms than ourselves, the argument of engineering life – all of this does validate bringing in a religious perspective. But the way it was executed was downright offensive! It boiled it down to “what I choose to believe”. I facepalmed many times in this film, literally. Rather than delivering a profound argument between both sides it just came down to “well I’m religious so fuck you”. Argh.

    The dumbass poking at the alien snake thing is supposed to be a biologist. He even says it looks like a reptile. And then goes on to poke around at it. A BIOLOGIST. To an obviously dangerous animal. If anything he should be the one issuing caution. Would you go up to and play with a freaking snake you find in a jungle? Hell no.

    The operation scene was so laughable, it was running on Futurama logic. And then David busts out this weird-ass language to the engineer guy. We don’t find out if he actually understood what he was saying (it looks like he did, but he might not). For a film this long, they could have shown depth by actually explaining things more rather than riding so much on assumption. The bring up this concept of the ‘engineers’ and immediately run with it, without any evidence at all (before they get to the planet).

    The setting, look, atmosphere and acting of the film were freaking brilliant – but anything the characters do makes no sense at all.

  • Radu Barzoi

    I can’t believe how stupid you are, spoony. And your little girlfriend there.

    • http://www.facebook.com/ashik.sorel Eximius Sorel

      Yes because name-calling and demanding an-nihilistic actions towards his fans most certainly makes your opinion more valid yes?

      Go away…

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jeremy-Graf/1732669867 Jeremy Graf

      Richly enjoyable hypocrisy, this. In lieu of actual argumentation, you settled for inflammatory condescension on Spoony’s own website. “Contrarian”, indeed.

      “I thought Prometheus was vastly underwhelming. Despite the good performances, setpieces, and overall look of the movie, those qualities are sabotaged by unlikable characters and their frustratingly irrational decisions.” There’s a premise for some actual dialogue, compressing Spoony’s general overview into two sentences. Go.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kostantine-Paradias/601861994 Kostantine Paradias

    Dude, I love your reviews but I thought this movie was awesome as hell and I haven’t heard one good argument why you didn’t like it and I heard you guys talking for over an hour.

    • William Christopher

       Did you check the part where it was just stupid as hell?

  • Ryan Hill

    I actually enjoyed the movie, and I was pretty surprised that Spoony hated it this much. Every other reviewer that I follow either loved it, or was kind of lukewarm on it, and that was why it was really interesting to hear all of the complaints. Some of it was just nitpicking, but I have to say that he really hit the nail on the head with some of it.

    I was glad spoony pointed out the whole religious issue, which had no purpose whatsoever. Ridley Scott is an agnostic himself, so I’m not sure why he even brought it up, other than to show that there will be stubborn religious people who will never give up their faith, even if the evidence completely and utterly contradicting it is shoved in their face. To make it even more ridiculous, she decides to KEEP SEARCHING for the “truth” and the creators at the end, which means that she knows (in the context of the movie at least) she’s in denial.

  • Anvar Said Nazar

    You make many good points, though I don’t think it’s quite as bad as you make it out to be. 

    ALTHOUGH I had an shocking realization part way through the review; the reason the blond chick has a thing that can only work on men? It’s for her father, the old guy. He probably has a lot of health issues and the machine helps keep him alive. 

    Though I’m sure someone else figured this out before me and commented on it >u> 

  • Kyle Rybski

    Prometheus is yet another installment in America’s series of anti-science, anti-technology, practically anti-human, faith-head fascination in cinema. This time with a dose of the History Channel’s Ancient Aliens thrown in. Wonderful.

    It took profound issues with so much to explore, then ignored them, and suppressed them into a stylish, mindless action movie. If it carried any message, it was an insulting and delusion-feeding misanthropic one.

    Even aside from that, a movie where the plot is driven by people making stupid choices—when they aren’t supposed to be stupid characters—is a badly-written movie.

  • Matthew Doan

    I whole-heartedly agree with everything that was said.  I didn’t even know this was a prequel when I went to see it, so I had no expectations to shatter.  Nevertheless, I was utterly disgusted and disappointed by it.

  • thedaydreamarchitect

    Your favorite movies have plot holes.
    Your favorite characters have made stupid decisions.
    In fact, in sci-fi, fantasy, and horror, plot holes and/or stupid characters are almost inevitable. The story needs them to exist in order to progress the way the screenwriter and director want them to. Movies are not automatically bad because they have plot holes. It’s all a matter of how much you can suspend your disbelief.

    That said, I do agree with you regarding Peter Weyland. There was actually a reason that they cast Guy Pearce: They filmed a scene with younger Peter Weyland for a viral marketing campaign. I still don’t think that justifies the casting, but there was a reason.

  • capthavic

    Honestly I had a feeling that this movie wasn’t going to live up to the hype, but I had no idea it would be THAT stupid. When it comes out on dvd I might rent it just to see for myself but no way am I going to pay theater prices.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=716733016 Keith Kime

    Honestly, watching this, it might have been a good movie IF they had taken the horror parts out, and just did it more as a ‘discover our origins’ type movie.  That and not have Lost writers write the script.  Yes, we get its awesome to have BIG questions and all, but we’re smart people, we like answers.  Also, why the hell won’t people bring some damn lights. Fuck flashflights, bring some mofo’ spot lights into dark caves.  We’re not talking about adventurers avoiding monsters in a dungeon, we’re talking about exploring caves we having been in before. BRING SOME DAMN LIGHTS!

  • Shaughn Cameron

    Wow… where to begin. It’s like we watched an entirely different movie. I couldn’t disagree with you more. And a lot of it isn’t the subjective reasons, but because of the gross amount of things you guys seemed to either take completely out of context, or just get dead wrong. Some of these things, really seemed to irritate you. Maybe you just missed some of the explanations, as some people did in District 9, but wow…

    -The explicitly stated that the goal was NOT to make first contact, and that was it was to be avoided.-They had a way back to earth using the LIFEBOAT. Which would have worked if it hadn’t crashed.
    -Your annoyance with the technology being so advanced in Prometheus compared to the other films is a little confusing, as you previously went on about how expensive the Prometheus ship is. It’s not truckers in space, it’s a huge venture, and its Weyland’s most important venture yet. He’s not going to spare any expense.
    -I can’t imagine how you didn’t put two and two together, but the surgical pod WASN’T meant for Theron’s character. It said it was meant for a male… so maybe it was meant for the secret male passenger. The one who funded this whole venture, solely so that he could cheat death. The surgical bay was intended for him and only him. SHE had it, because she is his daughter. Shaw essentially tricked the computer into operating on her.
    -The David character is taking samples because he wasn’t taking orders from the others. He was secretly working for Weyland, and was clearly taking the samples for his own use.
    -Admittedly, those two getting lost does appear to be a continuity error.
    -The aforementioned two never saw that room in its entirety before they left.
    -I think it’s understandable to not be frightened by a small snake like creature as opposed to the creatures that are nearly twice as tall as a human is somewhat understandable.
    -And no, the reaction to the attack was not like what you described.
    -The did decontaminant it upon bringing it to the ship. It was blasted with a similar decontamination effect that was seen later.
    -They WERE NOT trying to make it talk. 
    -You’re confusion about the scientist being disappointed with something good, solely because it didn’t live up to his expectations seems rather poetic.
    -As far as the operation goes, it specifically said it was providing anaesthetic at one point, not to mention all of the drugs she was taking. Bare in mind she was clearly in great physical pain throughout the rest of the movie. Without the anesthetic and adrenaline injections, she probably wouldn’t have been able to stay conscious. And, how exactly do you know that she has no knowledge in medical procedures. Also, she was clearly affected by the anesthetic, such as the scene where she first sees Weyland. She’s barely able to focus.
    -Weyland didn’t want to just talk to the creators, he wanted to cheat death… which is why he had the surgical pod!
    -Shaw doesn’t outrun the Engineer, it doesn’t chase her. And she doesn’t run very far. She doesn’t make it to the ship.
    -The zombie/alien creature wasn’t the scientist they burned. It was the one who was killed by the snake/alien creature. They see the creature in its mouth right before it attacks them.
    -They do have weapons. They were using them on the zombie creature. But as you may have noticed, they didn’t work very well.
    -I believe the lifeboat launched before she could get into it, which is why it crashed, and she jumped into the escape pod.
    -There are plenty of reputable scientists, who even fight against creationism,
     like Ken Miller, who are still christians. Personally, I don’t think they go well together, but it’s not that uncommon.
    -You’re surprised that the super powered alien creature survived the crashing of his ship, which wasn’t even in very bad shape when it hit the ground, despite the fact that he was in the most secure part of it?
    -The Engineer (Kratos) is clearly going after Shaw because he’s a little pissed that the humans destroyed his ship. I would be! Do you think he would just shrug this off?
    -I never saw a science versus religion issue in this movie… and I’m VERY anti-theistic. I saw it more of a theme of compatibility and harmony between the two, which the Shaw character represents. So these “contradictions” as you call them aren’t an accident, they’re deliberate. They weren’t saying one was better than the other. It’s never established that she is a literal, young earth creationist. She clearly doesn’t take the Bible literally, which is not uncommon. 
    -Actually, that theme of humans the creation of the Engineers, as David is to the humans, was explored further, but perhaps not obvious enough for you. The Engineers react to the humans in the same way that the humans do to David. They see us as constructs. Our emotions don’t matter to us, they see us as robots. So when a character says “you’re just a robot” it’s not writing off theme, it’s in keeping with it… though albeit in a kind of darkly comedic way. I really doubt that it was a mistake.
    -Nothing interesting to explore, how about the idea of “life from death” which is prevalent throughout the movie, or the relation between the Prometheus myth, and our creation, which ties into the aforementioned theme.
    -The Alien series has always, at its heart, been an Alien creature feature. But each one tries to find a different way to present this story. This one, is more of an adventure film. It’s not a horror film like the original, though it does have suspenseful elements.
    -You didn’t mention this one, but I know some people have been confused by this, Prometheus DOES NOT take place on the same planet as seen in Alien and Aliens. It takes place on LV-223, not LV-426. But both are moons orbiting the same planet.
    -I never saw the dialogue as being anything worth getting that upset over. Granted, that is more subjective, but it just seemed average. Nothing great, but not terrible.So yeah, I feel like I put more thought into your review than you did with the actual film. I had an entirely different experience watching the film, which I saw with 8 other people, all of whom liked it. I didn’t see anyone walk out, with the exception of one person, who goat little queasy during the operation scene.

    • http://www.facebook.com/vance.berk Vance Berk

      Couldn’t have said it any better- here I was writing up detailed responses to Spoony’s criticisms then I look down and see someone already got it covered.  Good job! 

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1673310152 Julian Andreassen

       I couldnt explain it better myself. I take it you enjoyed the film too then? Also, you did know what the black goo did yourself, right? I have some theories myself, but i would love to hear what kind of ideas you have to offer.

      • Shaughn Cameron

        Yeah I really did like it myself. I didn’t think it was as good as the first two Alien films, but it’s certainly better than any Alien movie made in the last 25 years, and it’s a solid movie on its own merits.

        I suspect that the Engineer we see at the beginning is the Prometheus of this story. In much the same way that the mythological Prometheus defied the gods by giving us fire, he gave us life. And like Prometheus he suffered for doing so. Which may be why the other Engineers were going to destroy us. It’s hard to say. I don’t really have anything concrete to back that up, but the parallels seem oddly familiar. The black liquid seems to act much like the Genesis device from Star Trek, but on a strictly biological level. It destroys whatever it touches, but it also creates something new from that. That kind of ties in with the “life from death” theme, which is also how the Aliens breed. I really doubt it was a mistake.

    • William Christopher

       With your ever rebuttal, I can only think to myself, “You are far more willing to give stupidity a pass and explain it away than I am.”

      • Shaughn Cameron

        With my ever rebuttal? 

        I’m not entirely sure how pointing out that this review gets many of its plot related complaints wrong qualifies as explaining away stupidity. And personally I highly disagree with that assumption, and it doesn’t really address my main point. I could just as easily say that; “you are more willing to provide knee jerk reactions than I am,” and it would have as much validity.

        • William Christopher

          My point is that the movie’s explanations didn’t make the scenes any less stupid.

          • Shaughn Cameron

            The problem is that much of Noah and Mile’s argument was the exact opposite. While there were some parts they disliked in general, many of their argument were based on the rational behind the scenes, not necessarily the scenes themselves. The surgical pod scene comes to mind, where they were so hung up about the pod only being intended for a male, despite being in the possession of a female. They seemed to ignore the obvious conclusion that it was intended for Weyland, not her.

          • William Christopher

             Not “many”. A few of their complaints were misinterpretations, but even still, they had valid points as to why the scenes that they did have wrong were stupid. Why is there a male and female calibration at all for a medical pod? It’s there to save your life, not get you off.

          • Shaughn Cameron

            That didn’t seem to be the case in this review. Setting aside their misinterpretations, of which there were many… so many in fact I listed the ones I caught, scenes like the medial pod are pretty subjective, and I don’t think can be easily written off as just “a stupid idea”. 

            Setting aside suspension of disbelief for a moment, I have to reiterate the presence of the pod on the ship wasn’t for general use, it was intended for a single individual, who is obviously a male. For all we know, most of these pods could be used for males or females. This one, was clearly there to save the life of a very specific person. It was also established earlier that these pods were very rare, and even by the standards of the film’s setting, the technology is pretty advanced. Furthermore, this is an imaginary piece of technology, as was said in The Death and Return of Superman in response to the question “how do you kill a vampire,” the response being “you can kill a vampire any damn way you want, because they don’t fucking exist.” It’s not like we have any kind of comparison for this piece of equipment to draw from, so we have to go by the rules established in the film itself, assuming it doesn’t contradict them. And I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but males and females are kind of different.

            So with all that in mind, does it really seem so outlandish that an imaginary piece of equipment, which was brought onboard for a single individuals use, would not be programmed for someone other than that person? Baring in mind that said person is a pretty self-centred asshole. The entire point of the mission to LV-223 was for  Weyland’s vanity. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had that kind of functionality removed just to spite Vickers.

          • http://mrconservativegamer.wordpress.com/ Myrmecodon

            “I wouldn’t be surprised if he had that kind of functionality removed just to spite Vickers.”

            Yeah, that’s the sort of reasoning I expect from liberals-the cartoonishly evil assholes in the movies are a real human type, and leaders of multi-billion dollar high-technology corporations are interested in themselves over all else…

            …though I guess you could be right if you were talking about Steve Jobs or Mark Zuckerberg, legendary assholes in their personal and employing life. Still, if I want to see those types of people in a movie like this, I want to see them while they’re still young, strong, handsome, sympathetic, and confident enough that their fall actually has dramatic heft or fair warning to the rest of us. Guy Pearce did a bang-up job as young Weyland in the little Youtube pre-watch video; the fact that Scott couldn’t find a place for a real strong male semi-anti-hero type speaks to the weakness of the story. (James Cameron could. Michael Bay could. Andrew Stanton could. Brad Bird could. Joss Whedon we know for damn sure could. Joel Schumacher did it to far better effect in Splice. Sam Raimi…you get the idea.)

            But they, unlike Scott, haven’t forgotten their youth.

          • Shaughn Cameron

            -So first of all… that quote was intended a kind of a joke.

            -Secondly, I think you might be projecting somewhat.

            -Third, I never said that it was my belief that all corporations evil or selfish. I only said that Weyland was. He is human after all, and is susceptible to the same temptations that the rest of us are. It’s simply a matter of whether he gives into it or not.

            -You don’t think the promise of defeating death is a somewhat sympathetic idea. No one wants to die after all. As terrible a person as Weyland may be, it’s not exactly such an alien concept, especially with death being so close. It’s interesting you would suggest that Scott has forgotten his youth, when that seems to be the very thing Weyland was trying to retain.

          • MartianMan

             I took that to mean that the machine was not calibrated to specifically female operations.

          • http://www.facebook.com/Moatz007 Jason Moatz

            Exactly what operation did it preform on her? Cause it looked an awful lot like a c-section… I don’t know how many men are getting those 60ish years in the future but it seems like that would still be a low number.

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Joe-Ottoson/100000693361189 Joe Ottoson

            You see, a man and a woman are different…

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001644339247 Kristjan Kullo

       Well said. I have to say that for me, Prometheuses “show-dont-tell” angle is really producing interesting results, as through the discussion revolving around the movie has given me several things to think about that I even didnt note on my first watch.

       Also a small side note concerning the medbot and Naaomis medical knowledge: at least for me the establishing moment was her early reaction to the first signs of Holloways infection. She was clearly disturbed and when Holloway asked how bad is it, she replyed “very bad”. Mind that this was the stage where only minor changes  had occurred (pupil anomalies etc).

      • http://www.facebook.com/Moatz007 Jason Moatz

        I would say that in many places it was “Don’t show, don’t tell. Force them to “extrapolate”.”

    • http://twitter.com/DXU James Ward

      Yep pretty much my take on this review.  Lots of people not paying attention while watching this movie.
      In reference to the part where David spikes Holloway’s drink with the Black Goop.  I found that part to be part human testing and part revenge on the part of David.  There are a few scenes before it that have Holloway calling Daivd “boy” or not treating him with any respect.  David clearly winces during these scenes.  Also, David is on a mission from Weyland to try and find a cure for death and so uses the Black Goop to see what it does to a human.  It could’ve made him stronger and younger but turns out not.  So it’s sort of win-win for David.  Again, subtle but definitely not “for no reason at all”.

      • http://www.facebook.com/Moatz007 Jason Moatz

        So David, the robot… feels emotions to the point of actively seeking to put people in harm’s way (including Weyland himself) in order to get revenge because someone was rude? So David is petty too?

        If it’s an experiment… wouldn’t you want to do things like… you know… limit the variables? Not maximize them? Even if it had worked and made him younger you have so many other things going on other than just the black goo how are you going to tell what exactly caused the change for the better? And also, wouldn’t you want to… ya know… carefully watch your test subject?

        What if age, blood type, body size, etc have an effect on what the black goo does? What if the black goo by itself would have worked but it was rather the mixing of it with the drink that caused it to go wrong?

        How about instead of potentially murdering someone if you take a hair, skin, blood or whatever sample and try putting that with the black goo and seeing what happens first?

        What if it quickly becomes a deadly airborne virus and infects the entire ship? You’re letting the infected man move freely about the ship after giving him a substance you know virtually nothing about.

        The sheer volume of possible negative outcomes from David’s actions show that either he truly doesn’t care about anyone’s safety or that he’s just a moron.

        • http://twitter.com/DXU James Ward

          I don’t know dude, I’m not a robot. I just saw some scenes on the screen that show David reacting to things in an “emotional” way. Who freaking cares.

    • Shaughn Cameron

      I should also have included parts that Spoony outright LIED about. Such as the part, which according to him was tipping point for him, when he wanted to yell fuck you to the screen. In this segment, David says to Shaw, “after all this time you still believe” to which (according to Spoony) she replies “damn straight I do”… there’s just one problem. SHAW NEVER SAYS THAT LINE. She doesn’t say anything remotely close to that. She changes the subject, and never answers the question. I don’t think you can hold filmmakers responsible for parts of the movie which you made up.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Rowan-Anderson/691192822 Rowan Anderson

        Umm, well she may not have said that exact line but there is a part in the film where she is asked a similar question and she answers that she still believes in god, because she argues back that someone must have made the ‘architechets’, something along the lines of ‘well who made them?’. Don’t be so picky and, if you can’t get your own facts straight or understand where someone might have slipped up, don’t be so RUDE.

        • Shaughn Cameron

          Okay, let me get this straight… I’m suppose to get my facts straight, when it was Spoony who made up a line that didn’t even exist in the movie.

          I could understand Spoony’s mix up if he HADN’T already mentioned that other scene, which he did, and if the two scenes didn’t take place over an hour apart from one another.

          Furthermore, the context of those two scenes is radically different. The scene you’re talking about takes place before everything went to hell. The line Spoony is making up takes place at the very end of the film. A lot happened between those two points, and Shaw’s perspective has noticeable shifted. While still she does seem to believe to some degree, her faith was noticeably shaken. After all, she specifically said; “I was wrong, we were so wrong”.

          And once again, this single line was supposably the point when Spoony wanted to say; “fuck you” to the screen. This was what pushed him over the edge. That’s a pretty big mix up considering the line doesn’t even exist.

          And finally, I don’t think Spoony particularly cares if I’m rude or not. After all my comments were certainly tamer than anything he said in this very review. And even if he did, I think he’s the last person to be crying foul about that sort of thing.

    • http://www.facebook.com/Moatz007 Jason Moatz

      Personally, while I agree that Spoony did clearly miss some stuff (who doesn’t miss some stuff watching a movie for the first time?), but overall I agree with him about the movie. I went into it hoping it would be great, expecting it would be average and left the theater after wishing I could have gotten my two hours back. I almost walked out, the only reason I bothered staying was the hope that they would somehow turn it around.

      I agree with a fair bit of your points, but… to address some of your points:

      There’s a difference between not being scared by the snake creature and not being retarded about it. They both knew that they were cut off from any medical support. They know nothing about this creature. Snakes, on Earth, are one of the more deadly animals. These two guys are “scientists”, you would think they would know when an animal is doing it’s best king cobra impression.

      Also, the body they saw and left because of was still there and it was long dead the whole time. You would also think that just the horribly creepy room just beyond the dead guy would not seem particularly inviting to these guys who seem to be pretty freaked out by this place.
      The pod designed to ONLY work on males can’t tell when a woman is in it? You would that might be an important function.
      What the hell made the lifeboat launch at all? Did the captain launch it? Why would he do it? Did Charlize? Why would she launch it so soon and not give herself time to get to it? Did it just fall off? lol
      Why on Earth do they not have hardcore trained soldiers with serious weapons? I don’t mean an army, just a few… Even if they don’t want to make first contact it just might happen and it could be with something angry…
      How does the engineer know where Shaw is? Would it not be more sweet revenge to leave her helpless to die on the planet while you take a different ship to go wipe out her home world? How did David know he was going after her? Did the engineer stop by David’s head and say something like, “Yo dawg, I’mma go kill that one bitch who ran away earlier. Peace.”
      Also, what the hell was David’s plan with contaminating Shaw’s boyfriend? Dear god that whole thing fails in every way imaginable as a scientific experiment.

      • Shaughn Cameron

        -Again, not to be derogatory, some of us didn’t have any trouble noticing these things the first time through. Personally, I don’t think it was a great movie, but I certainly don’t think it was terrible. It was just good. And not to divert the issue, but I really don’t see how it’s flaws drag it down to such a level, especially when compared to other films. There is such a thing as middle ground, though arguably that’s an even worse position to be in.

        -I’ve freely admittedly several times that the Millburn and Fifield death was one of the aforementioned flaws of the film… though not quite as stupid as the people in real life, who get this close to animals they really shouldn’t only for it to turn out the same way. It is somewhat understandable, as their suits, particularly around the hands are somewhat armoured. If it were just a snake, it might not be a problem. Furthermore, only one of them, the biologist, wanted to get close to it. The other kept his distance and seemed pretty terrified of it, much like he had been earlier.

        -And again, not to divert the issue, but I’m also hesitant to belabour to heavily in a stupid death or two, as it’s not exactly a foreign issue in even the best of films. For example, one could argue that each death in the original Alien was pretty stupid… some were far worse than anything that occurs in Prometheus. Kane, peers into an alien egg at point blank range. Brett, wanders off into a secluded part of the ship with a hostile alien on the loose. Dallas, tries to guide the alien on his own towards the airlock, why he had to go alone is beyond me. And Lambert has probably the worst, as she gets herself AND Parker killed because of her inability to move away from a slow moving alien, even when it’s busy attacking someone else. Alien is one of my favourite films of all time, but that scene is my least favourite moment in the film, as even taking Lambert’s personality into consideration, it’s still a pretty iffy death. Plus she gets Parker killed.

        -As far as the machine not detecting a woman, it never said that it could not perform on women at all. It said it was not calibrated for women, and it was “impossible to perform that specific operation,” or something to that effect. The specific operation she performed, going by what she said aloud, was in response to a “penetrating injury,” and “foreign body” within the abdomen. I got the impression that once initiated, the pod would go to work on whoever was in the pod, assuming they appeared to be human. Kind of like an assembly line. Which is certainly in keeping with the Alien-verse’s grim setting.

        -I know you and I have vehemently discussed the pod issue, and I don’t know if it’s going anywhere. But if you were a selfish, and controlling person, who required a piece of medical equipment, that was intended for you and only you, why would you go against your character and bare other people in mind? The pod was intended for Weyland. It was specifically intended to perform bypass surgery. As for being in the Lifeboat, which was home to Vickers, based on her dialogue with Weyland it seems that he wasn’t expecting her to be there in the first place. The Lifeboat boat itself was also meant for Weyland. There’s also the issue that these pods are incredibly rare. There are only 12 in existence according to Shaw. Given all that, and ultimately that they’re an invention of the film, with no real world comparison to draw from, I don’t see why we should expect these pods to be able to perform EVERY conceivable operation imaginable.

        -The captain launched the Lifeboat. He specifically said he was going to do so in 40 seconds. The ship fired it’s engines at full blast shortly afterward. The Lifeboat doesn’t look like it’s partcularily adept at flying, at least in an atmosphere. Judging at its “graceful” landing, I can’t imagine it would be a particularly good idea for someone to be inside it at the time. If it’s anything like the Lifeboat in the original Alien, or Alien 3, it would likely be more useful in space. By comparison, the escape pod seems to be the safest option.

        -There were soldiers on board. Though, the only one who had much attention was Jackson I believe. They were the ones who were driving the transport, and Jackson in particular was the one Shaw argued with regarding the flamethrower. He met his end at the hands of the Engineer who essentially bitchslapped him across the control room. The other soldiers died trying to fight Fifield. As far as serious weaponry goes, it seemed to range from a handgun, to some kind of assault rifle thing.

        -As for the Engineer noticing Shaw, you did notice that giant command chair that the Engineer is attached to right? Clearly, it’s providing some capability for him to detect the ship’s surroundings. How else would he fly it? We never get to see what the Engineer is seeing in there. But considering that the humans in this movie have the ability to detect life or at least movement, not to mention how advanced the Engineers are by comparison, and the little issue that they have the ability to create life, it doesn’t seem that surprising that the Engineer might be able to notice Shaw. Especially considering that she took refuge in the only remaining piece of the Prometheus. It’s not exactly tucked out of the way.

        -As for why the Engineer wanted to kill her; when was it established that they are devoid of emotion? They’re not that different than we are, for obvious reasons, and there’s no reason to suspect that they aren’t as susceptible to emotions as we are. And bare in mind, his mighty ship was just knocked out of the sky by what is the equivalent to him of bugs… I think he would be a little pissed off, if not kind of embarrassed. It’s a good thing no other Engineers were around to watch that. There’s no reasons to suspect that he wasn’t intending to go to one of the other ships after killing Shaw. We base entire movies around the concept of someone seeking revenge on another, when did it become such an anomaly? Judging the sweetness of a revenge is rather subjective, but generally characters in fiction tend to favour the hands on approach.

        -David isn’t under Shaw’s orders. Nor does he seem to particularly care for humanity. He makes it very clear early in the film, that he seems to consider himself to be superior, at least in some respects. His sole purpose for being there, is to follow the directives of Weyland. In the previous scene we see their interaction where David expresses his concerns with following through with Weyland’s plans, and doesn’t seem to want to do what he’s been ordered to. David had also seen the black liquid on the head of the Engineer which seemed to be sustaining the Engineer’s cells. With all of that, combined with his limited respect for human life, it’s not particularly surprising that he would use Holloway as a test subject, even if it posed a threat to Holloway and the rest of the crew.

        • http://twitter.com/Mr_S_Palmer Stephen Palmer

          Wow. Yeah, I thought you were reading my mind with your responses. Good work, Shaughn Cameron!

    • http://mrconservativegamer.wordpress.com/ Myrmecodon

      A gaggle of nitpicks that don’t even stay stuck when you wiggle them. Here’s a more thought-out review that goes over the really dumb thematic callbacks you so helpfully suggest:


      The trouble with all of these explanations is that NONE OF THEM HOLD UP IN THE MOVIE’S OWN LOGIC. They contradict themselves. The movie is fundamentally contradictory.

      Ridley Scott is now Dan Brown crossed with Tarsem Singh when he was making The Cell, except Tarsem redeemed himself somewhat with Immortals, which actually uses his talent for iconic shots. He doesn’t make sci-fi movies, he makes supernatural thrillers where the GREAT UNKNOWN, DEADLY AND POWERFUL FORCE is…basic biology, not demons or energy beings or what have you. Diablo 3 has a more scientific structure with more rules it won’t break than Prometheus does. James Cameron looked at the acid-blooded creatures and immediately thought of their life cycles and ways for humans to fight them in Aliens, the best of the bunch.

      But not having the aliens being this invincible unknowable bullshit monster anymore must have pissed Scott off, so he added quick regeneration (the worm immediately GREW A NEW HEAD after the first was cut off, right out of the acid blood stump) and even faster growth and more ways of invading and infecting humans, and STILL he had to make his characters either completely unlikable reckless dolts or completely oblivious to their own technology for them to get invaded. YOU BEAT MY NON-SENSE-MAKING MONSTER WITH SIMPLE SQUAD TACTICS, I MAKE BETTER MONSTER!!!

      That’s what’s so offensive about this movie-if you’ve actually delved into the questions he claimed to be asking, if you actually thought that other futuristic inventions in the movie could have been used in intelligent ways, if you actually thought that the characters could make sense in their own universe…WRONG, every cardboard cutout character will dance to the tune of a mad director more interested in symbolism than story.

      Prometheus is good as a Rorschach test for the person watching it to determine if he’s actually thought about the questions it asks, or seen movies and games that did, Anger of the incoherent variety is the only proper response for the sane. Those who mindlessly appreciate the mess for the sake of the director have either not seen too many movies or already drunk the black Kool-aid.

      • Shaughn Cameron

        That gaggle of nitpicks as you call them are ones that Spoony brought up, and made up much of his review. The same could be said for that so called “review” you posted, which seemed more focused on witty retorts than making any kind of genuine analysis… and it shows.

        What makes you think anyone who actually likes this film HASN’T delved into such questions? Is it because we came to different conclusions, so by that you’ve concluded that we didn’t even make the consideration?

        Now, I have no problem whatsoever with your view that this is a bad film. That’s your opinion and you’re entitled to it. But, from the sounds of it, your position is that; anyone who likes this movie, regardless of their reasons, must clearly be wrong. Is it just that black and white for you? There’s no such thing as middle ground? It’s either great or terrible, and anyone who doesn’t choose the latter is just a mindless drone? What possible dialogue could be accomplished with someone with such a position?

        While I can easily see people agreeing with you about the film, I can’t imagine the rational of a fully functional adult who would agree with such an egotistical world-view. Though, come to think of it, that is a position that Spoony has made from time to time.

        • http://mrconservativegamer.wordpress.com/ Myrmecodon

          Not because we came to different conclusions. Everyone has their own favorite sci-fi story of first contact (mine personally is LucasArts’ The Dig, as good an antidote in both tone and consistency to this movie as is possible.) And everyone is entitled to their own opinions. What they are NOT entitled to is their own facts, especially not when those facts are as vague and contradictory as the they pulled from.

          And the people who like this movie the most are very often in both the fact and opinion-making business. They will sing its praises in a hundred indirect ways regardless of the truth, they will subtly and not-so-subtly imply that all the valid criticisms we posted are just nitpicks from losers in life, and they will tear down the opposition passive-aggressively instead of standing on the merits or lack thereof like men. A sci-fi movie was made without a single heroic protagonist, central theme, or attempt to maintain scientific rigor throughout, and these people not only defend but take delight in the world and characters presented, despite their ridiculous personalities and unlikeablely opaque motivation and actions, in the face of a great and noble undertaking. I can only assume that they ACTUALLY IDENTIFY with these characters.

          They are degenerates. Dilettantes. Flippants. Casual blasphemers against the spirit that inspires both the search for scientific knowledge and the search for God, worried only about looking good for their audience and starting political squabbles. And all it took was the product of a disordered mind to reveal them. Glad to see the US box office for Prometheus halving every week; it seems even the majority of those without a science education can feel the common-sense reasons this movie fails.

          You want a director wasting money on a pet project that still looks pretty, watch John Carter.
          You want soaring symbolism and partial answers to religious questions through iconography, watch Immortals.
          You want alternate history sci-fi, watch Transformers
          You want squicky creatures with daddy issues, watch Splice.
          You want portentous dialogue on the Big Issues, watch anything by Christopher Nolan.
          You want Damien Lindelof writing a passable movie about humanity’s first contact with aliens, watch Cowboys and Aliens.
          You want a movie that tricks you with its trailer in a way that sets you up for an even BETTER story than the one you were expecting, watch Brave.

          You want to piss off the religious, the scientific, and anyone whose been in a military or mercenary group by trying to please all of them at once while making absolutely no effort to understand what they do or how they operate, be Ridley Scott.

          The terribly answered question is far worse than silence, especially when the answer is seen as the precedent to build on for other directors overawed by art-house cred. Thus will I resist every effort to dignify this movie, as doing so will take away from the far better examples of all the movies I mentioned before, that did what it was trying to do better, in the midst of telling their own stories.

          • Gilda

            “What they are NOT entitled to is their own facts, especially not when those facts are as vague and contradictory as the they pulled from.” – So basically only people who dislike the movie can do this.
            Seriously though, Degenerates? I get that you hate the movie, but to show so much bitter hatred for those who defend it is ridiculous. You accuse people who like it of making up their own facts (instead of accepting that people will interpret facts differently), of singing its “praises regardless of the truth” etc. etc. Oh please. Trying to shame people out of sticking up for the movie by insulting them just undermines the any valid points you tried to make.
            I’ve thought about the questions Prometheus asks, I’ve seen the movies, I’ve studied both philosophy of science and theology courses in university as they relate to real-life. There’s nothing mindless about my appreciation of the film. There are flaws, I don’t deny it, but not nearly as many as you and Spoony suggest. I get you don’t like the film, but don’t rant about how people are stupid for liking something you don’t. The story was a bit weak, but I thought the visuals, acting (particularly Fassbender and Rapace), ideas, effects etc. more than made up for it. You clearly didn’t. I’m not calling you a degenerate though.
            Anyways, I’m hoping the DVD will include a director’s cut- I’m sure there are scenes missing that were cut for time but would help smooth over any of the little plot holes. I also hope there’s a sequal- one that tells what happens to Shaw and David. I’m entitled to want it and you’re entitled to watch something else.

          • Childaeus

            I know this is old, but I think you misunderstood who s/he called degenerates. S/he called the characters degenerates – unlikeably rude assholes who are incompetent in each of their fields, or otherwise don’t ring true to the average empathetic human being. Her/His connection between them and the audience who enjoyed it is that he can only assume that the people who liked the characters self-identified with them somehow, and are themselves degenerates in some way. S/he didn’t say that they’re degenerates simply because they enjoyed a movie he didn’t.

          • Gilda

            “is that he can only assume that the people who liked the characters self-identified with them somehow, and are themselves degenerates in some way”
            I don’t see how this is any better. So instead of being called a degenerate for liking the movie, I’m a degenerate if I liked any of the characters. The assumption that an audience member needs to self-identify with a character in order to enjoy it makes no sense. I don’t self-identify with Darth Vader, the Spartans, Queen Elizabeth I or Batman, but I still enjoy watching them. I fully admit there were a couple characters in Prometheus I didn’t like (the two who were killed first), but most of them I did enjoy watching, even when I disagreed with them and/or their actions. And yes, at points I did self-identify with a few of them, but I didn’t necessarily like those characters more or less than the characters I didn’t identify with. Regardless, it doesn’t make me or anybody else who enjoyed the characters a degenerate.

          • Childaeus

            True, calling people degenerates at all is a little harsh.

            Sorry, I probably shouldn’t have defended that, I guess I just felt a bit nit-picky about everybody being on the same page about what was being argued about, even if it doesn’t exactly make it any better/make much difference.

            Bare with me on my other thoughts though:

            I don’t think self-identification (at least not TOTAL self-identification, maybe just seeing fragments of yourself or what you wish you could be, such as Batman’s heroism or Darth Vader’s authority) with a character is required to enjoy them. Though I think there are a few factors at play.

            Imagine a protagonist who is a drug addict, living in a friend’s basement. He sleeps most of the time and doesn’t help his friend out at all, taking complete advantage of them. He’s rude, unhappy, and is not funny, witty, or carefree. He’s not good looking, and just doesn’t care about hygiene at all. He’s grouchy and often looks in pain just moving around, and his living quarters are a smelly den of rotting foodstuffs and dirty clothing. He doesn’t have anything going for him either – he has no notable skills or wants in particular, and he’s just wasting his life. His character arc doesn’t involve getting his life in order, but instead him wasting away while those around him worry or become bitter, getting tired of his parasitic lifestyle and eventually kicking him out. He then goes off on his own and dies in a gutter during a particularly cold winter night.

            That character doesn’t really have much of anything positive going for them. How likely are you to enjoy watching that character, unless you’re sympathising with their situation (which is a way of self-identifying with them, even if you’re just identifying with the fact he has depression or something, and that none of his friends seem to understand how to help). I suppose there’s empathy? Maybe? Depends how he was portrayed.

            Compared to Darth Vader, who is tall and imposing, powerful and strong, demands authority and gets it. He has a cool sword and the force. Lots of individual things to admire about him, even if the total package makes him evil. The Spartans are brutally strong warriors, embodiments of power, and depending which spartans you mean they might have a lot of style going for them.

            Barney from How I Met Your Mother is a womanizer with a whole plethora of issues, but people like him because he’s funny, witty, and incredibly stylish. Others don’t like him because they personally don’t feel his wit and style redeem him enough for the way he treats women.

            That subjectivity is where it all lies I guess.

            Personally, I didn’t like many of the characters in Prometheus. I liked Charlize Theron’s character for her practicality, such as not letting unknown diseases into the ship. Other’s apparently thought she was meant to be a cold-hearted semi-villain who gets her cummupance by dying at the end, but I didn’t feel that. I liked the Captain and his other pilots, because they were friendly enough and willing to sacrifice themselves to save humanity. I even liked watching David (if not actually agree with his actions) because of the interesting way he struggles with his programming and with his own agenda.

            Many of the rest, however, were just not (subjectively) redeemable for me. They were mostly rude or abrasive, or with Shaw’s case, condescending. Shaw’s boyfriend was ridiculously ungrateful – discovers all his theories of alien life are correct and it’s not enough for him because he wanted more.

            Everybody seems to like reminding David he has no soul, or that he isn’t human, showing a callousness and a lack of empathy and respect that is unnecessary in the face of David’s clear distaste for this. For a journey on what is meant to be about discovering the origins of human life, which indirectly deals with the “soul,” why are they all so one-minded on the fact humans have souls and synthetics don’t, when apparently the whole point of the trip is to prove human’s are also just creations of a more advanced race of aliens.

            A lot of the characters are incompetent, even in their own fields, straight to unprofessional carelessness. I personally felt distaste for the geologist who continues to smoke while on the mission (they make it sound like tobacco, but I’m told he was smoking marijuana), and who then gets lost after personally mapping the tunnels with his own technology which feeds back into his wrist indicator. Some people might find his casual disregard/rebellion against the rules imposed by others as a positive trait, but I found it stupid that he would be getting high where air is a resource and clear-headedness is a necessity.

            Basically, I think what the other poster was saying is that he personally viewed most (or all) of these characters as irredeemable degenerates. That, in their opinion, their few positive traits didn’t outweigh their negatives at all, and that people who felt they did have to re-evaluate their priorities because they’re finding clearly unlikeable (different to “bad”) people to be enjoyable.

            That’s all subjective stuff, but you can see how they might find distaste for people that like such things that they find wholely unlikeable, compared to somebody who finds distaste for people who like things they don’t like/care for, but where it’s more to do with personal tastes than redeemable traits.

            Either way, calling viewers degenerates was probably uncalled for.

          • Childaeus

            I must have accidentally deleted my comment or something. Reposting:

            True, calling people degenerates at all is a little harsh.
            Sorry, I probably shouldn’t have defended that, I guess I just felt a bit nit-picky about everybody being on the same page about what was being argued about, even if it doesn’t exactly make it any better/make much difference.
            Bare with me on my other thoughts though:
            I don’t think self-identification (at least not TOTAL self-identification, maybe just seeing fragments of yourself or what you wish you could be, such as Batman’s heroism or Darth Vader’s authority) with a character is required to enjoy them. Though I think there are a few factors at play.
            Imagine a protagonist who is a drug addict, living in a friend’s basement. He sleeps most of the time and doesn’t help his friend out at all, taking complete advantage of them. He’s rude, unhappy, and is not funny, witty, or carefree. He’s not good looking, and just doesn’t care about hygiene at all. He’s grouchy and often looks in pain just moving around, and his living quarters are a smelly den of rotting foodstuffs and dirty clothing. He doesn’t have anything going for him either – he has no notable skills or wants in particular, and he’s just wasting his life. His character arc doesn’t involve getting his life in order, but instead him wasting away while those around him worry or become bitter, getting tired of his parasitic lifestyle and eventually kicking him out. He then goes off on his own and dies in a gutter during a particularly cold winter night.
            That character doesn’t really have much of anything positive going for them. How likely are you to enjoy watching that character, unless you’re sympathising with their situation (which is a way of self-identifying with them, even if you’re just identifying with the fact he has depression or something, and that none of his friends seem to understand how to help). I suppose there’s empathy? Maybe? Depends how he was portrayed.
            Compared to Darth Vader, who is tall and imposing, powerful and strong, demands authority and gets it. He has a cool sword and the force. Lots of individual things to admire about him, even if the total package makes him evil. The Spartans are brutally strong warriors, embodiments of power, and depending which spartans you mean they might have a lot of style going for them.
            Barney from How I Met Your Mother is a womanizer with a whole plethora of issues, but people like him because he’s funny, witty, and incredibly stylish. Others don’t like him because they personally don’t feel his wit and style redeem him enough for the way he treats women.
            That subjectivity is where it all lies I guess.
            Personally, I didn’t like many of the characters in Prometheus. I liked Charlize Theron’s character for her practicality, such as not letting unknown diseases into the ship. Other’s apparently thought she was meant to be a cold-hearted semi-villain who gets her cummupance by dying at the end, but I didn’t feel that. I liked the Captain and his other pilots, because they were friendly enough and willing to sacrifice themselves to save humanity. I even liked watching David (if not actually agree with his actions) because of the interesting way he struggles with his programming and with his own agenda.
            Many of the rest, however, were just not (subjectively) redeemable for me. They were mostly rude or abrasive, or with Shaw’s case, condescending. Shaw’s boyfriend was ridiculously ungrateful – discovers all his theories of alien life are correct and it’s not enough for him because he wanted more.
            Everybody seems to like reminding David he has no soul, or that he isn’t human, showing a callousness and a lack of empathy and respect that is unnecessary in the face of David’s clear distaste for this. For a journey on what is meant to be about discovering the origins of human life, which indirectly deals with the “soul,” why are they all so one-minded on the fact humans have souls and synthetics don’t, when apparently the whole point of the trip is to prove human’s are also just creations of a more advanced race of aliens.
            A lot of the characters are incompetent, even in their own fields, straight to unprofessional carelessness. I personally felt distaste for the geologist who continues to smoke while on the mission (they make it sound like tobacco, but I’m told he was smoking marijuana), and who then gets lost after personally mapping the tunnels with his own technology which feeds back into his wrist indicator. Some people might find his casual disregard/rebellion against the rules imposed by others as a positive trait, but I found it stupid that he would be getting high where air is a resource and clear-headedness is a necessity.
            Basically, I think what the other poster was saying is that he personally viewed most (or all) of these characters as irredeemable degenerates. That, in their opinion, their few positive traits didn’t outweigh their negatives at all, and that people who felt they did have to re-evaluate their priorities because they’re finding clearly unlikeable (different to “bad”) people to be enjoyable.
            That’s all subjective stuff, but you can see how they might find distaste for people that like such things that they find wholely unlikeable, compared to somebody who finds distaste for people who like things they don’t like/care for, but where it’s more to do with personal tastes than redeemable traits.
            Either way, calling viewers degenerates was probably uncalled for.

          • 13secondspastmidnight

            I know this is 2 months on (sorry about replying to such an old comment!), but… well anyway. I just thought I’d mention, “different interpretation of the facts” is really just “subjective reality”. Due to differences in perception what we mistakenly believe as an objective reality is subjective as perception determines your interpretation of sensory input and that is what constitutes ‘your’ reality. You really have no external way to validate your own reality or memories. Everyone has different viewpoints on what constitutes an opinion and what constitutes a fact, and how those differ.

            People always make up their own “facts” when they have to perceive something. You can say “that colour is blue” and for you that might be true, but you may have a retinal abnormality that causes you to see green as blue, and hence your subjective determination is incorrect from the term of the so-called ‘objective reality.’ A general consensus of perception is termed objective and normal, and dissenters abnormal. This is something grounded in your scientific determination of an objective mean in statistical analysis (among other things).

            “There are flaws, I don’t deny it, but not nearly as many as you and Spoony suggest.” You have just contradicted the idea that “everyone interprets facts differently and their interpretations are valid.” The movie is the object of perception, and you perceive less flaws than your recipient. You are having a different interpretation of an object. Of the facts in front of you or what constitutes a fact. /However/, in this interpretation you make the assertion that your view congruent with the objective reality (implying your recipient’s and Spoony’s has erred).

            What you have done is tried to defend the movie as well as defending the idea that everyone sees things differently and everyone’s views should be accepted as legitimate. Hence you are defeating your own argument as you are asserting that your view of things is correct (at least in the respect of the movie and your recipient’s behaviour) and your recipient’s is not. You are not insulting them, but you are implying that your view is correct or superior and theirs is not. “There are not nearly as many [flaws] as you and Spoony suggest”, that very sentence exemplifies my argument, but I could make the same argument on your criticism of your recipient’s behaviour. To you or I that behaviour is unacceptable, but this is just an opinion – one widely held – but still an interpretation/perception/worldview. Hence what you are saying is that people are allowed to have different views but only one (or a certain contingent) is right? Or, more specifically, that Spoony and your recipient are allowed to have different views but theirs is skewed and abnormal? The sentence “There’s nothing mindless about my appreciation of the film” while mentioning your university courses is to support the idea that your opinion has weight and academic backing – even if it was said in the defence of your recipient’s attack (context) – and consequently leads to the idea that your opinion is the correct one based on the facts as you perceive them. So are you defending the film? Or are you defending the idea that all interpretations are equal and valid and that no one should be persecuted or argued at on the subject at hand?

            Choose your argument and stick to it!

            I only nit-pick (and I do love that word) your comment instead of your recipient’s (which I do disagree with far more rigorously, by the way) because you’ve used an “I’ve studied both philosophy of science and theology courses in university” argument. Hence you are liable for analysis. Which university did you go to by the way? I have some questions on the content of their philosophy courses and the idea of an argument construct hehe… Sorry, I don’t really mean that, I’m just being antagonistic for the sake of it at this point I guess, so my apologies ^^;

            Btw, yes this comment is my own opinion. Hence I am entitled to it. However, I think that you should be able to question other people’s views of reality and interact with them on their opinions as everyone’s changes and alters with their perceptive view – although I believe you can’t just be insulting in doing so (as your recipient believes… yes, I’m really bad with usernames so I’m just calling him/her that). I do criticise you and assert that my opinion is correct (i.e. closer to the objective reality that we all may perceive but I’m not 100% certain actually exists), however I bear no ill-will in doing so. I argue at my own free-will and leisure O_o :)

    • http://www.facebook.com/kyle.jacob.58 Kyle Jacob

      your kinda contradicting yourself as you speak

      >if they were not going to make first contact than why when they read their was a life form were they told to go after it. And Weyland Stated that he wanted to meet his maker (Alien) to figure out how to be immortal.
      >I get its expensive but this Advanced Technology wasnt even mentioned in the other movies
      >How would she have tricked the unit if she did nothing more than get in the pod and take the surgery like a champ may i add
      >Why the fuck would he kill a man by putting the “Sample” in his drink and also the infected guy killed even more people
      >They Mapped the Area. No Excuse
      >THEY WERE HIGH! (No offense but they were high, just getting my point across)
      >The summed it up and again…They were high
      >I think youre talking about the head, i dont recall that so you probs right on that subject
      >They were still shooting volts of electricity through it. They are highly regarded scientists. Again no excuse
      > Its not poetic. Its repetitive and overdone
      >Cheat death with surgery? if you die of a massive stroke or more likely heart attack it wouldnt make a difference. You cant just fix a heart attack with surgery

      >She was still cut open and not entirely fixed. No excuse you dont just die cuz of pain.
      >You gotta point their i have nothing to say beside. Why does it have super strength and how does it take him over?
      >They had hand guns. i get they might not have machine guns but at least give them something that packs a punch
      >I honestly dont know, Was she thinking she could get back to earth in that thing?
      >I honestly dont know what you are talking about so i am assuming that you are right
      >They Said that their were plenty of other ships on the planet
      >Still than the movie has no point than
      >i thought of that too to which i do agree with you
      >Again you have a point but its not there. When a movie is shrouded in mystery they need to play out their themes, otherwise it not mystical its just stupid
      > As stated before the suspense is killed by pure stupidity
      >ok. I didnt notice that ad just makes this movie even more separated than alien and begs the question HOW THE FUCK DID THE SHIP GET ON LV-426
      >Opinions very including mine i thought the movie was just pointless and stupid that promised a lot and that delivered very little and was obviously just their for a sequel.

      • Shaughn Cameron

        How exactly am I contradicting myself? I’ll respond to the ones that I could clearly discern what parts of my comment you were responding to:

        -Regarding first contact, that’s somewhat of a misdirection on the film’s part. Vickers tells Shaw that they’re not to engage in first contact. She says if they discover life, they are report directly to her. But the obvious reason for that is that Weyland wants to be the one to talk with them first. Vickers is lying. She does that sometimes.

        -As far as the technology goes, much of the technology seen in this film, does reference technology seen in the other films, it’s just significantly more advanced. The exception would most noticeably be the holograms, Fifield’s drone’s, the surgical bay (though they explained that one). This makes sense as this is really the first time we’ve seen a research centric ship in this series, especially one with this level of funding. Alien had truckers in space. Aliens had marines, expendable marines mind you. It’s also worth noting that the military doesn’t always get the level of support it should, equipment wise (i.e. see Canada). Alien 3, well that one’s kind of easy. Alien Resurrection is the only one that potentially has some kind of contradiction… but that one’s kind of a grey area.

        -David didn’t know that putting the Black Liquid in the drink would kill Holloway. He had seen its reaction in on the urns, and how it had kept the cells on the Engineer head stable, so there he couldn’t have known that it was going to kill him. David doesn’t seem to hold human life in very high regard, so it’s doubtful that he wouldn’t have done so even if he know how it was going to turn out.

        -Yes the infected crewman did kill a number of people… I’m not sure how that’s a contradiction to anything I said.

        -I did say that the two getting lost is one of the flaws of this film. I never claimed it wasn’t. Though, it is somewhat understandable given that Fifield doesn’t have access to a map like the one the captain was looking through. The drones scanned the caverns, and relayed the read out to the ship. For example, when one of the drones picks up a life form, Fifield doesn’t notice it. He can only seem to follow them at close range. To my knowledge, we never see what he’s looking at on his gauntlet, so as far as we know he’s only reading their general proximity. That wouldn’t be much help when he’s trying to get out of the cavern.

        -If your dispute about poetic validity, was with my remark about Holloway’s disillusion at not finding the Engineers, I wasn’t calling that poetic. It was a joke about Spoony’s reaction to the film.

        -Actually only ONE of the two was getting high. And oddly enough it was the character who wanted to leave in the first place, and coaxed the other to leave. Said character was also quite terrified of the snake creatures and stayed a safe distance away. The other character however, the one who chastised him for getting high, was the one who got too close to the creature.

        -You can’t fix a heart through surgery? Bypass surgery? That was one of the operations the surgical bay was specifically programmed for. As far as heart attack related surgery, you’ve also got Angioplasty. Yeah surgery has it’s limitations… in the PRESENT DAY. This movie takes place 80 years in the future. If you compare medical operations today to 80 years ago, you might notice that our capabilities might seem a little unbelievable. We cheat death with surgery in the present day, I’m pretty sure they’ll be able to do it in 80 years.

        -As far as the surgery goes, we see that prior to the “staples” there is another arm running over Shaw’s wound which appears to be sealing the interior, and exterior of the wound with some kind of laser device. It’s followed immediately by the second, more prominent arm. This takes place practically within the same shot. I’d call that a viable excuse. Granted all of her movement was clearly causing her tremendous pain, so she must have been continuing to damage herself.

        -As for the volts of electricity; it didn’t happen as Spoony claimed where they just kept upping the voltage even when it was clearly going wrong. As soon as they saw a reaction, before they even knew if it was good or bad, they began to decrease the voltage. But even removing the device entirely didn’t stop the reaction.

        -They did have machine guns, or at least some futuristic version of an assault rifle. And they used it on the infected crewman, and on the Engineer… not that it worked particularly well in either case.

        -Get back to earth with the Lifeboat? Was that what you meant? It’s doubtful that would work. If the lifeboat is anything like the one in Alien, it didn’t look like it was capable of breaking out of planet’s gravity. It would probably be more effective in space. Though, I could be wrong. It was one of those, die now or a little later scenarios.

        -Yeah, they did say there were other ships on the planet. That’s where the ship in Alien came from. How does that make the movie pointless?

        -As far as playing out their themes. That’s kind of subjective, but I would argue that they did. Not incredibly strongly mind you, but it’s done. This issue, like many has middle ground. It’s not just all or nothing.

        -The ship in Prometheus isn’t the same ship from Alien. It’s quite obvious that the ship in Alien was fleeing the outbreak that the other Engineers were running from as seen in Prometheus. The Engineer in Alien, has the same hole in its chest as the piles of dead Engineer’s did. It seems to match up as the aforementioned outbreak occurred 2000 years before the events of Prometheus, and Alien.

        That’s about everything I could noticeably connect with my initial comments, or knew what you were referring to.

    • 13secondspastmidnight

      Hello! 4-year ex-medical student here still studying at university (with 15 very heavy books on medicine and biology and multiple journals to back me up). Local anaesthetic is only for subcutaneous tissue and skin, not deep muscle and certainly not an organ, so there is no way in hell it would have done anything for her when they cut through her abdomen. And if it was general anaesthetic she would have been unconscious and in vast need of ventilation. Those are your two options. If that woman was conscious and given anaesthetic, then it was local and it did nothing at all to her pain, and painkillers and adrenaline would have done very little apart from send her into tachycardia and then probably arrhythmia. And I do know about medical procedures and pain pathways. Without very careful attention to specific anatomical landmarks and tissue type, suturing, and post-op care the sutures will rip and tear open not because of the strength of the sutures (staples are used now and I’ve seen them used first hand in anterior resections for colonic cancer, among other procedures, so I know how they work, but they do not work like shown in the movie), but because the tissue is so weakened and dis-continuous due to the wound that it is pulled open by the strength of the muscles working around and in concert with it. THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL THAT WOMAN WOULDN’T HAVE BLED OUT IN ABOUT 30 MINUTES TO AN HOUR… GIVE OR TAKE SCREENTIME FOR A DEATH SCENE, and the idea of a robot operating on her when it thinks she’s male is so hilarious that I was crying when Spoony mentioned it. Even if that woman somehow didn’t bleed out internally or externally, the pain she was in would have been immense. And let me tell you this about painkillers. I have been on deep general anaesthetic, light general anaesthetic (both render you unconscious or completely incoherent), morphine, oxycodone, tramadol, benzodiazipines and ketamine (4-day ketamine infusion really wipes you out btw), and I have studied all of them (incidentally…some of them after the fact), and considering what that woman had done to her, THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL SHE WOULD BE WALKING AROUND for two reasons 1) she would be in screaming agony (and if you’ve never been in a huge amount of pain then you’ll never know what that’s really like, but let me tell you, I’ve had pain so bad before that I literally could not see; bad pain destroys your ability to think, to comprehend and certainly stops you walking or running anywhere), and 2) if she took enough painkillers to have even a measure of pain relief she would be lying on the floor euphoric, sleeping or passed out. That’s just how pain and painkillers work. There is a requirement for opioid receptors in the CNS that doesn’t brook argument (*insert witty and non-offensive joke about heroin addiction here*). Adrenaline while she’s on painkillers, which are a depressant, would send her tachy and have her synoptic, among other things.

      There is no suspension of dis-belief in the world that could make me believe that operation, her survivial, or her running around. You can lay “it’s the future, so medical science has advanced” idea at the feet of the audience, but that doesn’t change basic facts about human physiology, anatomy, neurotransmitters, pain pathways and psychological pain tolerance. Unless humans have been technologically altered in a way that the movie does not provide (I noticed).

      Also, just a note on DNA. No human DNA is the same. In the very least because we have different variations on different alleles so the molecular structure will be different due to different coding. If it is exactly the same, you will have exactly the same phenotype: i.e. everything from your proteins to your appearance will be the same. That’s just not how DNA or molecular biology works at all, and hence the entire premise of the movie is invalidated because of its own stupidity.

      In other words, sheer idiocy of a hollywood movie.

      Since I’m ranting already, I should make one last point. I have not studied religion, so anyone who has a more in-depth knowledge can correct me no this, but isn’t Creationism as an idea just belief in the Judeo-Christian creation myths? I’m pretty sure Spoony was referring to that. Unfortunately the name of “Creationism” has been made mud by Intelligent Design and America’s young-earth Creationists, but from the conversation I’m pretty sure the wider and older meaning was implied. And the “contradictions” that Noah and Miles were talking about were a BAD thing, in that presenting a concept and then contradicting it ISN’T any way to foster depth and explore a topic, just shallow and pretentious in the true meaning of the word. So you just shot yourself in the foot by saying the film-makers were deliberate there.

      Also, you have no way of knowing what the Engineers think of humans because we are given absolutely no insight into their psychology, so you can speculate but you can’t actually SAY they see humans as “constructs” because there is no insight into that at all. This ain’t Bladerunner.

      And also, “David was clearly taking samples for his own use”. Yep. Which was not explained in-movie, but was implied as investigative. Noah and miles said that.

      “Shaw doesn’t outrun the engineer.” Spoony started to say that and then corrected himself and said she just “ran away”. …However, afterwards, he IS going after her so… *shrug*

      Okay, now I’m just nitpicking your nitpicking which was not what I set out to do. I set out to correct your woeful defence of a highly unrealistic medical procedure and it’s after-effects that breaks the boundaries of suspension of dis-belief.

      Now, I feel like I’ve put less thought into my comment then you put into your…26 points (I think), however I like to feel that I’ve put in far more than was warranted considering the circumstances. I do enjoy the occasional rant, however, so I feel obligated to thank you for the opportunity.

      I tip my hat to you, good sir/madam, and bid you a goodnight (it’s 9 pm where I am).

  • http://twitter.com/megarobbie7 robbie decourcey


  • http://www.facebook.com/vance.berk Vance Berk

    As someone else already said: I feel like I watched an entirely different movie from what you just described. 

    Most of the things you say were holes or issues are clearly explained by the movie if you pay attention or simply put two and two together.  I enjoyed this movie for its meticulous sense of details, how some things don’t click in your mind until after seeing it.  I honestly don’t understand half your complaints because lots of them seem like you could have only come to that conclusion

    And Shaw’s character being a Christian didn’t seem strange to me at all  I mean- AT ALL.  It’s not something you think about much, and they do seem to contradict each other if you look at them on a fundamentalist level, but there are plenty of scientists with religious faiths. 

    • William Christopher

       Any explanation it gave was underwhelming and stupid. The movie was just dumb.

  • http://twitter.com/MorleyDev Jason Morley

    I’m a little bitter about this movie because it is fundamentally At The Mountains Of Madness In Space and I’d of much preferred the actual AtMoM adaptation got made…

  • wally waalkes

    I will agree with you on the fact of you on the fact that the one girl starts out as a fucking horrible protagonist, however once the movie gets its ass in gear and he gets impregnated she stops being such a fucking retard and actually becomes likable.

  • Kendotuxedo

    That part where Noah puts the Wii-mote into Miles’ neck and they reenact the Re-Animated Alien Head moment, that made me laugh for a good ten minutes.

    Might make a quick, funny “Prometheus in 5 seconds” clip.

  • alfie james

    Plot is a ripoff of season 6 of x-files, where they discover from symbols on an alien craft in africa that we were made by aliens, aliens which will return to try and wipe us out.  The whole series was also full of black oil substance that infected humans, scully getting pregnant from alien DNA and alien-human hybrids and breeding. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Dk-Murphy/1071822067 D.k. Murphy

    Aside for the characters I liked this movie. It had me interested.

  • Rhesus

    She has the surgical machine calibrated for men because her father was on the ship?

    She herself was healthy and well, but the father has several conditions I’d bet :)

    But yeah, pointless that the machine does not service women, and yet that it apparently works anyway.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Dk-Murphy/1071822067 D.k. Murphy

    The mantis suite lol Does anyone else get that reference?

  • http://twitter.com/Okanehira Okanehira

    You know they ejected the Liferaft/Living qtrs. for her? You seem to imply it “flew off on its own” Stringer Bell told her she has 40seconds to get the escape pod(leaving her stranded on the surface) and Stringer Bell jettisons the liferaft so she can make her way to it and live, thats why she puts on the space suit so she can walk over to it (unless the escape pods have no oxygen- but that would be dumb so proves my point i think)

    I loved the review though, I didnt think it was bad, just missed opportunity’s and i agree the stuff with david talking about “How would you feel if your creator told you that” they should have explored that more.

  • http://twitter.com/FlyinyourSoup Me

    Agree with all your points, guys (Noah and Miles). I came in with a reasonable level of expectation – just wanting to see a decently entertaining sci-fi movie that may-or-may-not be related to the Alien franchise (I stayed away from most spoilers). I went with several other people. Maybe I should preface with the fact that me and most of the people I saw this with are grad students or computer engineers, so mostly scientists. By the end, we were all either laughing or groaning or letting out sighs of frustration. Our feelings ranged from “it was…meh” to “I hated that movie,” actual quotes. The only character I liked was David, who like you said was sort of an antagonist. I felt nothing for the others, I didn’t care about them one bit. I really wish they had explored more of David’s motivations, because I was often confused why he was doing what he was doing. But someone in the comments said this is supposed to be a trilogy (explains the annoying as fuck ending) so maybe some things will be explained in the next one. But I doubt it. I give it 3/5, being generous because (other than the shitty old man effects) it looked great and had some decent gross-out scenes.

  • http://twitter.com/Enerccio Peter Vanusanik

    I am sorry, Spoony, but you are dead wrong. This movie was great, and only valid point you raised was the guys getting lost argument.

    Also, the DNA match, as much as I get it, was the fact that the head reacted to the virus and created human dna, as was seen in the OPENING IN THE FUCKING MOVIE.


    • http://twitter.com/Enerccio Peter Vanusanik

      Just might to add, do not watch this review, its that bad. I am very disappointed by your review.

      • William Christopher

        “Also, it DID NOT remove the uterus.”

        Yes it did.

        • http://twitter.com/Enerccio Peter Vanusanik

          If you mean the cover that alien was in, I did not think it was uterus, since even when it burst open it did not look human. And mostly because you cant just “pull out” uterus, and it would not extract it because its not foreign object.

          • William Christopher

            It’s a foreign object within a man… which the pod was calibrated for etc.

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1070905246 Matthew McConnell

          You have absolutely no idea what human anatomy is like, do you?

    • FormulaFox

      I haven’t seen the movie yet, but I don’t need to see it to know that Spoony’s point about the lack of security/diplomats/fallback plans is PERFECTLY valid. If you can’t even consider that point valid, then I have to assume you’re disagreeing with Spoony just for the hell of it or you don’t like differing opinions.

      • http://twitter.com/Enerccio Peter Vanusanik

        I never even was amazed at that point. It is NOT valid. You know why? Because its privately funded mission by Wayland. He brought in guys (can be seen when he is awoken) and he IS the diplomat. Its personal mission, a quest to gain youth again.

        Also, the thing is, most folks are probably not convinced by the scientist duo, thats why they dont believe in engineer race. It is Peter Wayland, who does believe and he gives all the funding. He is so crazed by the idea of getting young again and talking to aliens that he is not seeing the fallbacks. He does have some, like the second self containing (with medical pod) ready for him on stand by…

        • FormulaFox

          Privately funded = IRRELEVANT. NO government would EVER allow a mission of this type to go off without security and fallbacks.They would shoot down the craft and kill everyone on board in the process in order to stop. Even if they could, GOOD SCIENTISTS WOULD NEVER PERFORM SOMETHING LIKE THIS WITHOUT A SAFETY FALLBACK.

          This is not an acceptable break from reality. This is stupidity on a level that breaks REASONABLE people out of their suspension of disbelief(a large number of sci-fi movies are guilty of this, but get around it by way of either the setting or making the rest of the movie so damn good the point isn’t worth arguing). An important mission like this would NEVER get off the ground, privately funded or not, without security personnel and emergency fallbacks.

          And before you give me any crap about the Weyland company having ridiculous control over the government, if you actually analyze comments made in Aliens it becomes clear that the company doesn’t have any magic ability to override government decisions; They just try to find ways to get around them. This is NOT something you could sneak in behind the government’s back.

          • http://twitter.com/Enerccio Peter Vanusanik

            You dont get it. People do NOT think there are aliens. Look on the faces of crew when they hear about the mission. It is just religious crazy expedition, so why would government care? They would NOT shoot any aircraft, at least not right now. If they came back with aliens and artefact on board, then they might/will interfere, but why would you shoot down privately owned spaceship? You are clearly thinking todays terms, but this is future. Space flights are probably quite common, so are YOU going to shoot down people for flying on mars holiday? Just because people there think Jesus is from Mars and want to find if it is true?

            Or maybe send government agents with people who claims they have found ctuhulhu on our earth and they are going there by car. Seriously….

          • FormulaFox

            No, quite clearly YOU don’t get it, as you clearly refuse to think about any details that weren’t spoon-fed to you by the movie.

            The government would care about ANY MISSION LIKE THIS. Our government -our REAL-LIFE government- has plans for an alien invasion(that’s not a conspiracy theory, either; freedom of information requests have resulted in such several such plans making it to the public) and you think a future government WOULDN’T care that someone was seeking out alien life? Give me a freaking break.

            Don’t bother responding until you actually feel like using your head. Your Mars comparison doesn’t work, either, since that would be a mission to a world where we know, with more than a small amount of certainty, isn’t housing potentially dangerous lifeforms. We’re talking here about a mission to something they know FUCK ALL about.

  • ricky joya

    I don’t know what experience you guys had to make you believe that anyone who believes in God is close minded. Humans have not made first contact yet and many theologians claim that “made in the image of God” means intelligence not appearance. If faith was that stiff then Galileo and Sir Isaac Newton would have destroyed it long ago when they published their works on the Earth revolving around the sun.

    I find the claim that first contact will destroy faith as deep and insightful as creationists who claim that finding a living dinosaur will destroy the theory of Evolution. In either case it will remain, just go through a transformation. 

    • Frotality

       umm… there are reasonable people in any allegedly like-minded group of people, but there are far more close-minded asshats. you have to know that a great deal of religious people are blindly loyal morons, because whatever the intended ideology, most people claim faith in a religion just to twist it to conform to and thus justify their own ignorance. PLENTY of opportunities to make one believe religious people are close-minded, all im sayin.

      faith will, like everything else, adapt to new information, but not without millions of faithful closing their ears and going “lalalalalalalaicanthearyoulalalalala”

      • Patrick Coyle

        You’re right that there certainly are plenty of opportunities, especially when the asshats are so exceptionally loud about it, but please don’t think that the loudest and most obnoxious people represent the majority.

        But I have to second Ricky up there.  In my experience, most Christians interpret the Bible as using allegory and metaphor – of the major denominations, only the Mormons and maybe the Catholics believe literally in God having a human form, and the Mormons will point to several other references to the importance of physicality.  And even they already accept the possibility of other worlds and intelligent races.

  • Frotality

    **double post**

  • Frotality

     there are definitely some facepalm-worthy horror movie cliches, namely
    how stupid and careless everyone is, but i certainly didnt hate it. i
    was, however, frustrated constantly looking for a point to the whole
    mess that was never there.the movie brings up all kinds of themes and
    questions that it never really explores, which is really frustrating. it
    hammers us over the head with that “i chose to believe it” line, but
    never goes any damn further with the whole ‘faith and science arent all
    that incompatible’ idea. it draws a link between the creations of man
    and the creations of gods, then… does nothing with it. i also have a
    really, really hard time believing that a machine that can perform a
    procedure virtually identical to a c-section needs to be re-keyed to
    females to do an actual c-section. what kind of emergency medical
    equipment is that?! all that amounted to was adding a small amount of
    tension to the scene, was that really worth such a glaring fault in basic logic?

    you guys did kind of miss a bunch of explanations for about half the
    stuff you hated though.  i wouldnt call it a good movie, but you were a
    little unfair to it. it was a nice ride, if utterly pointless in the
    end. kind of a mediocre mystery novel kind of story, building up all
    kinds of drama that has no real payoff.

    personally, my biggest pet peeve was that i was the only one in the
    theatre who knew that fastbender was very obviously impersonating peter
    o’toole the whole movie. kids these days…

  • Brian Straight

    Jesus, you guys missed a LOT in this movie. It wasn’t fantastic but it was a “smarter” sci-fi than we see anymore these days where you have to “read between the lines” a bit for it to make sense. 

    • mobtank

       No, it was not smart. A movie that relies on the characters to behave like retarded idiots (completely unqualified for such an expedition) is not a smart movie.
      It just shows that the writers had no idea how to set up anything dangerous other then making the characters be so stupid that they put themselves in danger for no reason and a saturday morning cartoon villain robot (Fassbender did his best with it though)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001644339247 Kristjan Kullo

    I liked it. The only weak point that I can think of is that the movie dosent have “a c**shot”. It is a sequence of smaller climaxes that ultimately left me feeling a bit underwhelmed.

  • Renjick

    Haha wow spoony, you’ve got a ton of people in the comments section who’ve seen the movie giving it a free pass on stupidity. Lindelof strikes again! 

    • MediaGold

           Ha ha, wow Spoony! You have a ton of people here who can’t form their own opinions unless they get it from you first! 

      • Renjick

        That’s cute! Is paying to watch the movie, then thinking it’s a piece of crap anyways good enough for you?

  • http://twitter.com/rbsmcgrath Ryan McGrath

    Speaking of cheesy 80s B movies, I’d love to see more reviews of those from you, Spoony. Those are often my favorite reviews from you (Yor, anything with Reb Brown, Lords of Magick, etc.).

  • bloarf

    I feel like a lot of people missed much of this movie, causing all the hate. As soon as they dismissed it as a bad movie they stopped caring.

    I must admit that the scene where the biologist tries to pet the baby facehugger is indeed stupid, but all the other actions listed as “dumb” and uncharacteristic are being way misinterpreted. 
    First of all, everyone is complaining how the characters were stupid to remove their helmets, but besides having clean scans, notice the fact that they are never harmed by removing their helmets, all the infections and problems that ensue are unrelated. This is a trick throw in to bait the nitpickers until they realize it doesn’t actually come into play like they think.

    Next, admittedly the scene with the two opening kill guys is weirdly inserted, but it does not in fact lead to the fate of the rest of the crew. Everyone is saying that the plots happens because of character stupidity, when in fact the only scene that has the character stupidity doesn’t lead to the main crisis. The plot happens because the evilly programmed robot hatches a scheme to grow what he thinks will become engineers, that turn out to be the weapon. David implants Holloway with the parasite because he is working under weyland’s directives to meet the creators.

    Then comes a lot of “stupidity” which is in fact human error that everyone would undergo during such situations of stress. Holloway doesn’t tell anyone about the worm he sees in his eye immediately because he has a horny suitor in shaw waiting to sleep with him. Many guys would try to tell themselves it was their imagination if they were about to sleep with noomi repace. Charlize theron doesnt go sideways instead of straight because she’s in a panic mode and not thinking clearly. Take your experience from any game, how many times have you or someone you’ve seen run in a straight line to avoid an obviously faster projectile, die and only realize what to do on the respawn? Unfortunately theron did not have a respawn.

    Most importantly people seem to be missing all the times when the characters make the right choices that are uncommon in horror or sci fi movies. The captain says he doesn’t care to find answers and just wants to survive, crew members work for self preservation by leaving dangerous scenes. Holloway has himself burned to avoid contamination of the ship.

    I realize this is a bit lengthy and sounds fanboy-ish but i feel like if you think about all of the things that happen in the movie, you realize that they mostly make sense (save for the baby facehugger scene which is admittedly stupid but overlookable).

    • William Christopher

      “notice the fact that they are never harmed by removing their helmets, all the infections and problems that ensue are unrelated.”
      Infections can take time to occur, it’s not like anyone had any proper scans, even during the “full quarantine” scene. That being said, the people writing this were too stupid to get proper science right, what makes you think they are going to think out actual infections?

      “but it does not in fact lead to the fate of the rest of the crew.”

      One of those two men became a zombie and killed like… 5 other people

      “Then comes a lot of “stupidity” which is in fact human error that everyone would undergo during such situations of stress.”

      People in leadership positions are choose because they can react well under stress.

      “Holloway doesn’t tell anyone about the worm he sees in his eye
      immediately because he has a horny suitor in shaw waiting to sleep with

      This was after the sex scene

      “Most importantly people seem to be missing all the times when the
      characters make the right choices that are uncommon in horror or sci fi
      movies. The captain says he doesn’t care to find answers and just wants
      to survive, crew members work for self preservation by leaving dangerous
      scenes. Holloway has himself burned to avoid contamination of the ship.”

      These few moments only serve to highlight our retarded they are in the following scenes. Also, while I admit there was a few right choices that were made… only one of the ones you mentioned above is among them, the guy sacrificing himself. I rather liked the Captain did the right thing in blowing the ship up, but he’s not a scientist, so he shouldn’t care one way or the other about anything else.

      • bloarf

        The zombie guy is still only a small scene compared to the rest of the scope of the movie. The main crises in the movie result from the calculated deceit of David.

        Charlize Theron’s character was indeed chose for leadership in order to handle stress, but there is the stress of managing the logistics and controlling the people on a company project and there is the stress of running from a massive crashing alien ship. 

        “Infections can take time to occur, it’s not like anyone had any proper scans, even during the “full quarantine” scene. That being said, the people writing this were too stupid to get proper science right, what makes you think they are going to think out actual infections?”

        That is a really silly thing to say about a sci fi movie. The entire point of that establishment was that there were no infectious materials in the area, and the film showed that there weren’t. Making an assertion that says “maybe this happened, or maybe that, but the movie did not show” because that’s the entire point. If a movie is consistent with its continuity, especially regarding this fact, then making such a judgement is like watching the matrix and saying “how do we know that their brain is convinced they’re dying and not that their heart is giving out from the shock of experiencing death.” It is limiting your suspension of disbelief for the movies sci fi elements in order to make a nitpicking point.

    • ricky joya

      I can agree.. to a point. After reflecting on it I did like how Charlize Theron’s character is never shown to be completely human or android. You never see her in suspended animation, she refers to Weyland as “father” even though earlier Weyland said the closest thing he had to a son was David who was revealed right away to be an android. And even the captain asks if she is a robot, to where the audience never gets a reply. I kind of like how it was left open to interpretation. 

  • jordon1993

    I personally don’t think this movie was bad as a whole I did enjoy watching it but yeah I agree with you Spoony in that it was disappointing. Could’ve been a lot better. I personally would say it’s OK but that’s just me. 

  • ricky joya

    I thought the injection and the convulsing head was a tribute to “Frankenstein: the modern Prometheus,” but it still felt stupid. 

    After watching the movie my friend could not wrap her head around the 100% match with humans, yes humans are the most genetically similar species, but after millions of years there will be a difference. I think one of the Engineers arrived to Weyland labs and donated some of his DNA. And with the intelligence of the people in this movie, the disguise probably was just a T-shirt that read “Human Being.”

    I did not know who the two pilots were. I called them Sulu and French Chekov. 

    • ricky joya

      A better Space Frankenstein story would be the Classic Doctor Who story “Brain of Morbius” where even though it had a shoestring budget, and the monster looked like Ro-Man from Robot monster, I would still prefer it over Prometheus. 

      • MediaGold

             Even though the Morbius monster had two flower pot spouts for eyes, it still scared the shit out of my as a young boy and is still impressive to this day.

    • MediaGold

           Funny you should mention the head, Frankenstein, and classic Doctor Who.  The head scene reminded me a lot of the 1974 Doctor Who story “The Ark in Space” (a story which has a lot of similarities with Alien) when the Doctor hooks up the dead Wirrn Queen’s brainpan to leads to see the last images before it died.  Also, when Shaw gets her stomach stapled reminded me of Frankenstein (or The Modern Prometheus) and thought perhaps it was a nod to that story.  Also, the main heroine’s name is Dr. Elizabeth Shaw and the 1st companion to the 3rd Doctor was also a Dr. Elizabeth “Liz” Shaw.

  • MediaGold

    edit double post

  • MediaGold

    The deal with the biologist, I really don’t have that much of an issue with it. I would think a biologist would sell their mother to discover an alien form of life. It would be like a prospector finding the motherlode or a Scientologist Leader befriending a gullible celebrity.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Caio-Trubat/100002080389485 Caio Trubat

    You hate everything Spoony. Your opinion is invalid.

    • Daniel2112

      Miles is not Spoony and he still hates it. Therefore, your opinion is invalid.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Caio-Trubat/100002080389485 Caio Trubat

        I think it was okay so did Doug, Brad and Lewis. Noah is just hating because he wanted to hate it. 

        • harry de bie

          Doug is a retarded idiot, brad is a fanboy and who the hell is lewis?

          • ambskater997

            How fucking stupid are you? Go deep throat a cactus, you dildo-dipping cock waffle!

        • Daniel2112

          And Miles? Are we relegating Miles to a mere Yes-Man for Noah’s opinions now?

  • http://boorat.deviantart.com/#/d4c9c3t William “BooRat” Blackshire

    Ok I just saw this today finally and I’m sadden to report myself that I gotta agree with Spoony on this one more than Brad!  The movie was visually beautiful and was very well made, but the story was very, VERY flawed!  
    And, I’m kind of even more sadden to say this movie kind of ruins the origin idea of the Xenomorphs for me.  Mostly because it made more sense for them to be a race of hive-like creatures that breed by using host that they take a little DNA from to adapt for their new environment.  If they were engineered by the Jockeys/Engineers I’d hoped it wouldn’t have been so muddled and confusing.  I was hoping if they did go the rout that the movie was set in the same universe as the Alien movie but wasn’t about the Xenos that it be just hinted at that the Jockeys probably made more than one kind of weapon on that LV-426 planet, but apparently all they were doing on that planet was making those canisters of that Black-Alien-Death-Ooze!  Which purpose and effects confused me… At one point it decays a person or alien away into a pool of pure genetic material and the next time we see it used it mutates worms into Alien-Penis-Cobras and a guy into a violent hydrocephalus superman with sperm strong enough it can impregnate a woman that is completely sterile!  It actually reminded me more of how the alien/virus/whatever you’d call it in the Thing movies worked or that Black-Alien-DNA-Ooze from the 2nd “Species” movie that turns the astronaut guy into a male of that… species!  If anyone remembers those movies they’ll know what I’m talking about!
    The Jockeys were a disappointment too.  I was hoping if anything we’d never get a clear look at their true faces to keep a little mystery about them or if they did show their faces they looked maybe more alien than just being 10ft tall with completely white skin.  Also that brings up the opening of the movie.  So they were the alien race that fertilized life onto Earth billions of years ago and all life here can be traced back to them having one guy drink the Black-Ooze and melting his genes down and releasing it into the water… so shouldn’t that DNA test, they done on the ship in the movie and says that the Jockey’s DNA matches humans, say it has genetic markers in-common with all life on Earth from amoebas to zebras and even plants!?
    The Proto-Xenomorph at the end was a let down as well… I might’ve actually forgiven some things if an actually Xenomorph-Chestburster came out of that Jockey at the end.  But comparing that thing to a xenomorph is like comparing an iguana to a crocodile!  They have a lot of things in common but they totally different things!
    Also this movie had one flaw that really ruins a movie for me is none of the characters I liked… hell I out right hated most of them which isn’t good as it makes me happy to see them die not shocked or scared.  The only likable characters was David the android( I’m convince if the whole movie was just him taking care of the ship and his other daily jobs on-board the ship the 2 years it took them to get from Earth to LV-426 it’d been a better watch) and the Captain(and his likability began to wain when he suddenly goes from the guy that drives the ship and makes safety calls to the guy that’s aware the company is evil and must be stopped like he’s been a member of some group trying to stop them).  The only other character they could’ve made that’d been more likable is if they got pet of some sort on board like another cat, a dog, or a monkey!
    The worse character was Noomi Rapace’s as she came off as selfriteous and terrible at her job.   As Spoony put it she’s not a good scientist since most choices she(and all the other scientist) make have ZER0 logic behind it!  Like removing your helmet just because the air reads as breathable…  that just meant it had no poison in the air not that it wasn’t full of deadly alien germs! The one guy who was suppose to be a geologist, but from the way he looked and talked(the whole badly used line from the 1st Alien) I just thought he was another hillbilly member of the ship’s work crew, made no sense!  Like Spoony up there put it he and the other nerdy guy, who did at least look like he might be a scientist, where freaked out by a long dead headless Jockey but one of them(the nerdy one who wasn’t high he wasn’t the one smoking at all) starts to instantly start screwing with what amounts to a freaking alien cobra!  There is no excuse for that unless they were trying to say it was hypnotizing him some how(just based on him saying how “beautiful” it was… it was literally a scrotum that opened up into a cobra’s hood), but that just might be coming up with an excuse for them. Also most people I know in real life would be more than happy if we some how found any proof of alien life… it could just be an alien’s toilet seat on Mars, but the one guy in the show gets so mopey to the point of drinking because he didn’t get to talk to any aliens with-in his 1st what 15 hours on the planet!?  That dude’s an asshole and if anything I blame him more for most of the bad stuff that happened in the movie.  They landed on the planet were their all of 5mins and the Captain guy said they only had a few hours of daylight left they should wait til morning before doing anything, but nope they need to go inside that day, and what happens?  They get 2 guys lost(granted one of them had a mapping thing with him) and killed, and almost got himself and his girlfriend killed in a storm that was blowing razor-sharp bits of rock around!
    And finally Guy Pierce!  Why hire a guy in his 30s to play a man in his I guess 90s to 120s if you’re not going to have a scene of him as a young man with in the movie somewhere?! Even then it doesn’t make a lot of sense to have a guy that young playing that role!  It’s made more sense if they hired him to play Weyland in the promotional stuff for the movie like those viral marking things and then get a real old man actor to play him in his later years!  I knew what was going to happen in the movie thanks to this review and wiki but I was sort of expecting Weyland to inject himself with that Black-Alien-Death-Ooze and de-age back to his younger self since that stuffs effects seem to range into whatever direction the script says and then he mutates into a monster and dies!  That’s probably been in a better movie though!  Hell he looked more like the Judge character from “Nothing But Trouble”!  
    As I said before this reminds me more of one of those 90-early 00s sci-fi horror films that came out like once or twice a year like the last big example is like “Pandorium” a few years ago I think or “Super Nova”! 

    Crap!  I just realized that it wasn’t LV-426, but LV-223… which is good and bad as it means this might not have been the actual origins of the Xenos but it’s still asking the audience to know a lot of crap!

  • Logan Randolph

    I have to agree, this was a terrible movie.  The acting was cheesy like some bad 80s sci-fi movie, the story was idiotic and the characters were beyond stupid.  Plus there were plot holes you could fly a starship through!

    Though I did like the android (despite him also being a poorly-explained antagonist), Theron was stuck in her Evil Queen persona and Rapace was a moronic waif who couldn’t decide choose between being scared for her life and being idiotically fascinated with an alien race that hates them.  Everyone else has all the survival instincts of a child (touching EVERYTHING in the alien structure, even living things)  and all but Idris Elba don’t have a clue what to do.

    Not to mention the gigantic pile of douche that was Rapace’s “love interest”.  He behaves like a dumb frat boy, pouts, drinks heavily and insults the android for no reason.  Frankly, I was glad that he died horribly, though I was frustrated why he was infected in the first place.

    And the worst part, the absolute worst is the near unanimous praise this has gotten, mainly because of being “visually stunning” or for Fassbender’s performance.  I remind you:  shooting and performance are SECONDARY traits that accentuate a movie, not define how good it is.

    The story comes first, and as far as this script goes, Ridley Scott should have taken an ergonomic axe to it!


  • Logan Randolph

    Two more thoughts:

    Why did the alien commit ritual suicide by swallowing the bio-weapon at the start?

    I can’t decide whether the Weyland Company was more stupid before or after merging with Yutadi.

    • cajaquarius

       It isn’t the company that is stupid, to be fair. This whole expedition is revealed to be a big self masturbation bit for Weyland himself (and potentially prolonging his own life, making money, etc) but it seems like a personal Vanity project. One can be a successful business man and still be a dolt in personal affairs like this, where you take dumb risks and such.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kenneth-Eaton/100000592144443 Kenneth Eaton

      The problem with this movie & its plot is that you need to be familiar with the myth of Promeathus & its implications/meaning. The entire movie, its backstory as well as the actions & motivations of the engineers HINGES on it. The problem is NONE of this is ever explained but rather left implied. Meaning unless you are familiar with said myth & its meaning you are left to wonder WTF is going on.SPOILER ALERTThe virus the engineer who committed suicide consumed broke him down & used him as raw genetic material for seeding the planet & its life forms with Engineer DNA in order to create mankind. He created mankind & gave it the capacity for learning, rational thought, & the ability to think for ourselves. He essentially gave us the power of knowledge & the ability to grow and evolve as a species. This plays in to why the Engineers want to destroy man & why created the other virus to do it. THAT engineer was Prometheus. In giving us the power of knowledge he essentially gave us the power of the gods/engineers & the potential surpass them, one day. THIS made made us a direct threat to their very existence. Hence why they decided to wipe us out.END SPOILRERSOf course NONE of that is ever explained. I cought onto all of that half way through the movie. But the ONLY reason i was able to was because I am a HUGE Greek Mythology nut. As such, I am intimately familiar with the myth of Prometheus. THAT my friends is this movies BIGGEST failing. It expects you to piece togeather the puzzle yourself in order to understand what is going on. The problem is it doesnt give you the necessary tools or frame of reference to do so. Because of this you have no idea that there even IS a puzzle much less how to put it togeather.

      • JumpinPhillyPhlash

        I see where you’re coming from with this, but how do you think they could have weaved all of that into the story without it being so obvious? For me, it was obvious about 15 minutes in what they were doing with the story, and I thought the end really brought it home (For me, it was an “Ah, I get it!” moment) (but, I’m also huge in classics, though, and antiquity, so my bias), but I get why it could have been confusing, it and it was subtle in how they pulled it off and you had to be familiar with the myth. Since I hardly watch T.V., I don’t know if they had any myth specials, but I did see a-lot of articles on Yahoo! news that had to do with the Prometheus myth to get everyone ready for the movie, in-case they didn’t do their homework. Kind of like what they did for the The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

        • kyros1

          Weyland explains the myth about 15 minutes into the movie.  

          “The fire that danced at the end of that match was a gift from the Titan Prometheus, a gift that he stole from the gods. And Prometheus was caught, and brought to justice for his theft. The gods, well, you might say they overreacted a little. The poor man was tied to a rock, as an eagle ripped through his belly and ate his liver over and over, day after day, ad infinitum. All because he gave us fire. Our first true gift of technology, fire…”- Peter Weyland   Heck, the captain later tells you want the entire movie is about in a few lines.  The Space Jockey’s built warships with a deadly payload to get rid of the ultimate threat.  Man kind.  Dun dun Duuunnnn.

          • JumpinPhillyPhlash

             Heh, I didn’t consider that scene in the beginning.

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kenneth-Eaton/100000592144443 Kenneth Eaton

             DING DING DING!!! THAT was the key. Honestly I think that they should have had Shaw explaining/narrating the myth during the opening the right before scene where the engineer killed him self in order to put the scene in proper context context. That way it set the stage for the movie put people on the right track from the get go without beating them over the head with it.

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kenneth-Eaton/100000592144443 Kenneth Eaton

          That’s what I’m saying though. I had the “AH I GET IT” half way through when it was discovered that the Engineers were planning to wipe out the human race. THAT was when it all clicked for me. Personally I LOVED the subtlety with which it revealed the story and motivations of the Engineers rather than beating us over the head with it. It was there for the people LOOKING for it but not for the people who weren’t. However at the same the movie falls apart & doesn’t make any sense without it. I think that it is also a BIG part of why a lot of fans walked away pissed thinking that the movie was a pile of shit. When it really wasn’t. Case in point, Spoony.

      • http://twitter.com/Zachrid ZachSeinBlog

        That would be a nice twist, one I would love to work… but it dosen’t add up with the fact, that it took the engineers apparently between 4000 to 6000 years to decide that wether they want to end mankind or not. A time period in which they apparently travelled back to earth multiple times and told them where humanity could find them, if they became advanced enough. If “wiping out humanity if they turn out bad” was always an option, why did they leave their business card at all? Of course it is possible that around 30 AD the Space Jockey Republicans were elected into the White Giger House and the death of Jesus was a wonderful excuse to destroy humanity, but then…

  • Luke_Duke

    I thought the med-pod in Charlize Theron’s quarters were supposed to be for Weyland.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jeremy-Graf/1732669867 Jeremy Graf

    Right off the bat, I’ll agree with Noah and Miles that the characters were unused, and/or unlikable, applying the last one primarily to our science heroes Charlie and Elizabeth. 

    As the supposed leads to the ensemble cast, we know frustratingly little about their beliefs or motivations outside of “wanna meet our makers”. In Alien we didn’t need to know much about the crew outside of seeing that they were relatively likable people that didn’t deserve to be chest-bursted and brain-punctured. When the theme is creation, however, I’d like some background. Charlie’s dismissive antagonism toward David establishes the hypocrisy that Scott undoubtedly wanted us to take note of, setting up a parallel for the Engineers’ apparent attitude toward the humans, but Charlie’s also a scientist. Without some foundation, his provocations just serve to make him look like an ass, especially on this particular mission about researching humanity’s  own “architects”. Likewise, we never get a solid insight as to why Ellie has such strong faith, which really needed to be addressed to some degree by the end. David might just be a soulless, godless machine, Ellie, but little ol’ me in the audience wants a small clue concerning the issue.

    Everyone else is largely background noise and body count, though Vickers stands out as an explicit waste. She gets a little moment with her father, has a little dynamic with her “brother” David concerning said father, but ends up being killed off unceremoniously for…not wanting to be included in a suicide collision? Even gets outdone by the still-hilariously-sedated Ellie when trying to avoid being crushed, as if to add insult to injury. No journey into the stars ending for her, damn.

    Despite those annoyances concerning the characters, and despite myself to an extent, I still enjoyed the film. Visually gorgeous and conceptually ambitious, if clumsy, Prometheus raised poignant questions about the wild nature of creating *life* and its consequences. Did the Engineers see humans as we did the androids, as tools to be eventually discarded to make way for our successors(“sometimes you have to destroy before you can create”)? Or did we mutate beyond the original scope of our creation, similar to the xenomorph’s almost accidental conception after David’s little experiment?

    The questions may have been too big for Scott to handle, but their implications are well worth thinking about, staplegun cesareans aside.

  • TrollanKojima

    Spoony, I must make my first correction to a review you’ve made. (I am amazed, you’re usually perfect with this kind’ve stuff. But I’m just as pissed about how terribly they ruined this move – albeit, not AVP terrible.)

    You state Vickers has a State-of-the-Art Surgery table, and that Shaw can’t use it because it’s calibrate for “Male’s Only”. You both state this makes no sense, as she clearly had no penis. (Or DID she?)

    However, Weyland was nearby in stasis. I pretty much assume the surgery table was there specifically if any complications arrived during the trip, or inbetween the Engineers “SAVING” him.

    Just figured I’d be the TrollanSnob, for once. Good to see you finally getting back to your old self. It’s been heartbreaking to see old spoony disappear since the Scarlett Witch made her bitchtacular ploy to ruin the man who made us smile.

    Keep up the good work, man. It’s good to see you back to your old self.

  • Philip Alther

     Personally, I really enjoyed this movie. I do agree, some stuff was pretty silly (Guy Pierce as Weyland? Really? It would have been cool if they were able to get Max von Sydow to do it, and just put old make-up on him to make him look to be over 100).

    It seems that most of the problems of Spoony and Miles are that they didn’t really think about what they were watching. So, basically, the film didn’t spoon feed the plot, so rather than consider and think about what you’re watching, it’s bad. For example, the space pod and lifeboat. Did it occur to anyone that the life-boat was designed for outer-space and not for terrestrial travel? She probably jumped in the pod first because it was the safest, since it was designed to crash land into a planetary body. Unlike the lifeboat (hint hint) which was designed to be shot out from space, and it was programmed to eject at a safe distance from her pod. As I said, it doesn’t spoon feed you every detail. If it did that, it would have been an extra 2 hours probably and given you nothing to talk about.

    I could go on and on, but I don’t want to type anymore. This is the one time I wish I was there to discuss some of these issues with them.

    Sorry, guys, but you might want to stay away from philosophical and medical quandaries, too.

    • mobtank

       Speaking as someone who actually knows medicine and proper scientistic procedure, this movie did not read up on either.
      When I told my brother (who is a scientist) about the stuff the characters in this movie did his jaw dropped to the floor and he just said “what the fuck?” (and then went on to explain how real scientists would have acted in that situation).

      And it doesn’t matter who that surgery unit was programmed for, that scene was still extremely stupid.
      You perform an operation like that, you would most likely kill the patient or cripple her for weeks at best.

      You are the one who should be reading up on your stuff before speaking

      • JumpinPhillyPhlash

         Right, I never said anything about the surgery scene, so why bring it up? Sure, it’s unrealistic and that kind of stuff doesn’t happen, but you can always cough it up to being the future if you wanted to be nit-picky about it.

        I, too, am very intimate with scientific procedure and medicine. I didn’t really pay attention to what they got wrong, nor did I really think about it, because it’s a movie and not reality. Contact probably has the best science of all the films, with Deep Impact as a far runner-up, aside from those movie science is notoriously bad. If you really wanted, you could tear through all of the bad science in the first Alien movie, or any of the others. It’s all a moot point. I think the plot (the point) is tying things nicely with the original film, and am very interested in seeing the sequel that is coming. As it is, you shouldn’t let bad movie science get in the way.

        All that into perspective, why not actually make a comment on what I wrote about in more detail (i.e., what I actually wrote about). It was an independently funded expedition by an eccentric old man. It was only a trillion dollars, which is probably the equivalent of a billion in 100-whatever years, so in the grand scheme it’s not very much money to fund it to begin with (Trillion might even be an allusion to the U.S. spending over a trillion on the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, to give perspective). Maybe a stoner geologist was the best they could get? Think about it, most of them thought this was a hair-brained idea, so public opinion was probably that they were crazy to do this to begin with, so no respectable scientist would be doing this. These guys weren’t exactly the A-Team, there’s probably a reason for it. It seems more tragic than anything else. Inter-planetary travel had obviously been achieved and was very advanced, so it’s not like this was the first expedition into outer-space.

        Which reminds me of something else they were complaining about, not being able to contact earth. They were traveling for 2 years, they were probably way out of reach for conventional radios to work. More perspective. Light is the fastest thing (if you will) that is known. It takes 8 minutes for light from the surface of the sun to reach the earth. The the means that the sun is about 150 million km away (about 93 mill. miles). It takes 4 years for light to travel to earth from Alpha Centauri, our next closest star system (to be more exact, Proxima Centauri is the closest star at 4.2 LY). I think you get where I’m going with this (even if communications could be attached to photons, it would take a really long time to reach earth).

        At any rate, I never wrote anything about the medical problems, so what am I supposed to be looking up? I will say, I have read about situations where people have tried to get the neurons in the brain firing again by means of electric currents. I don’t know if that would work or not, but I have heard about it being done (and not just in the novel Frankenstein, actual scientific research). Yes, I know how the brain functions, and it probably wouldn’t work on a brain that was decapitated however many thousands of years ago.

        Geez, sorry about the novel, zoned out when I was typing there.

        • kyros1

          Every character is poorly written and anti-robot. 
          Why, in a future where androids are common place, would people still have a problem with them?  David in the film is the 8th version.  I know some people in the future might have a problem with them, but eveyone on that ship seemed to dislike David or at least tell him he wouldn’t understand because he wasn’t human.  )  The screen writer(s) did such a poor job.  I don’t blame Ridley for it.  He made the movie look fantastic.  The movie points out that Weyland hired the best.  He even has the most advanced android ever.  I’m surprised Weyland didn’t build a small squad of androids like David.  He could have made them learn all the tasks the humans could do while traveling the 2 years into deep space.  Heck, David learned how to speak Space Jockey and appreciate better films.  Imagine if the richest man on Earth (Weyland) could have brought a few more androids.      

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/TGYP3GTLK73FM5DTV2H3F4QTWE CHRIS

       I think it’s reasonable to think the surgery unit probably was for the old man, though I’m not sure they ever really describe the nature of his condition, can’t really remember. The escape, er, room-thing didn’t seem to have restraints so maybe they couldn’t use it that way without getting thrown around, but if anyone else remembers, that room was actually detached way before she gets into the pod. I was wondering why myself when I saw it.

      Regarding the surgery, I had a kidney surgery some years back. They cut into my side, but through muscle and everything and it was about a week before I could think of walking again. Even when I did, it was barely 20 feet out of my room before I had spasms and had to lay down again. Kinda doubt having your entire stomach sliced open like that has you running from Nemesis half an hour later. (Yeah, adrenaline + fear and all that but still, there are limits, eh?) Probably why the unit was designed for men, no anesthetic, no post-op, just man up and walk it off!

      However, I think it’s pretty clear they WERE thinking of the plot, (Noah and Miles I meant, not the ‘writers’) and that’s WHY it didn’t make sense not the other way around.

      • JumpinPhillyPhlash

         Well, I’m not sure about the life-boat thing already being attached, but how I wrote the scene is how I remember seeing it. Maybe things were so bad I was delusional :-P They never mentioned Weylands condition, I’m pretty sure he was just ancient (probably born in the 1980s). So, it was calibrated and set up for him if there was an emergency.

        I never even mentioned the caesarean scene, I dunno why people are jumping on it so much with me. I know how the musculature in the abdomen works, you could barely move if you were cut open like that. Here’s my argument, though: Being laid up does not make for must-see-TV.

        I don’t think they were considering it entirely. This also isn’t an attack against anyone, so no need to get offended. As I wrote previously, I could go on and on about what they didn’t understand and you can find good explanations if you think about it (such as what I said for the pod and the escape lifeboat, or the surgical unit). I’m only irritated by the fact that just because something is not blatantly mentioned, they interpret it as having no explanation, and then all of the spoony-otaku latch onto it.

        Yeah, I acknowledge the film had flaws, like every movie. Like them getting lost in the ship. All I can say is you get what you pay for. They hired a bunch of clowns to do this, they act like a bunch of clowns (remember, this was not government funded, it was independent. It’s basically like using David Childress and Giorgio Tsoukalos as the crew with funding from von Däniken).

  • cajaquarius

    The Faith and Science angle could have been pretty cool if handled intelligently. I don’t mind her keeping her faith in the face of alien life as I imagine if aliens arrived tomorrow for real most Christians and the like who lean towards the less fundamentalist side of things would simply incorporate them into ‘humanity’ (probably simply make them out to be no different, spiritually, than the difference between black and white people, for example).

    Most modern religion that has been around awhile tends to survive because it evolves to change perspective with the changing world. Unfortunately, it sounds like this character was just a dummy and the only way they could make her smart was to make everyone else an even bigger dummy. Poor writing all around.

    And not to sound anti-religious since I lean towards spiritual myself but what is with injecting pro-faith stuff into a movie like the Alien series? At it’s heart, Alien to me was always a very Lovecraftian thing where the Universe is big, bad, and full of nasty and if there are gods they are terrible. Should stick to that. Alien is too dark to try to incorporate a happy ending like this – you can’t have it both ways.

    • evilguyinsuit

      Seconded. On every goddamn count. Faith has been creeping out of Sci-Fi for YEARS, seeing it examined seriously in a Science Fiction context could be really, really interesting. (The best I’ve seen for a while is Ashley Williams in ME, and that’s just an element to her character, rather than a defining point) Even shows that bring it up, such as B5, don’t usually go into all the ramifications Space might have for believers. It could be the grounding point for a really interesting, really thought provoking movie.

      However, it has almost nothing to do with the actual plot of Prometheus, beyond the Creator angle, which is flimsy as hell. This was not a film about faith, and it wasn’t a film that seriously asked a single question beyond ‘Do you guys want a sequel?’

  • http://www.facebook.com/frauen1 Frank Rauen

    I find that Spoony’s review style can be a double edge sword a lot of times. While it is hilarious for scripted reviews when it comes to current reviews he comes out looking like a dick. I was actually shocked that he liked Avengers even though there were small plotholes in that that I thought he would blow out of proportion. Is Prometheus perfect? No it isn’t. Charlize Theron’s character is absolutely useless, Weyland was an odd casting choice, and the dialogue could be subpar at points, one example is when they notice that the water doesn’t freeze in the negative 12 degree environment and someone says that it’s “Martian Piss” (Keep in mind the stuff ended up not being water so that isn’t a plothole). The movie did leave a lot of questions unanswered but they weren’t plotholes. They were sequel bait to an extent but they weren’t plotholes because they didn’t make me doubt the narrative they just made me postulate fit into an overall mythos that Scott and the writers are trying to create. My point being that Ridley better make a second one and they better explain the rest of the mythos in that one. If Ridley and his crew don’t than that would render this film a waste of time. I do see this film as similar to the last Harry Potter in that they are splitting up the story into two films. Also characterization wise I think most of the cast did great. Fassbender was obviously the best in it and was the most interesting character. The rest to do pale in comparison to him but they do fine with what they have. And when it comes to pragmatism in the characters Spoony and Miles forgot about most of the actions of the characters like SPOILER: Idris Elba flying into the Engineer ship so that it wouldn’t make its way to Earth . Yes, some of the characters bring their demise on themselves by touching something that they shouldn’t, but they are scientists and I bought that they were that curious to go near something that looks dangerous. Especially when that something is an alien lifeform that initially appears harmless. My biggest problem with Spoony is that it seems like he is so inconsistent as a reviewer. He reviewed the new Mortal Kombat game and said that all of the controls should be the same for each character, therefore removing any sense of work to master a certain character and also removing a lot of depth from the game, however he basically broke his back to justify Scott Pilgrim.We don’t know what he looks for in a film or a game that makes it good to him therefore we can’t connect with his viewpoint as a viewer. With Ebert we know exactly how he is judging a film, he judges it by how good it is in the genre that it is in (besides slashers obviously). Overall the point is that how he judges media seems to come from an already created internal vision of a product and when it doesn’t follow that he thinks it’s bad. That isn’t a good way to critique a film because it only allows your creative input to be there. If anyone thinks I’m wrong don’t hesitate to say so. 

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/TGYP3GTLK73FM5DTV2H3F4QTWE CHRIS

    Man I wish I saw this with you guys, I had a friend so psyched for it who pretty much made me go with him to see it in IMAX 3D (which I’m not fond of anyway). I hadn’t heard much about it except from him, so had no expectation, just planned on it being a dumb action movie. He loved it of course…

    Here’s what left me confused; *Spoilers by the way, dur*

    1) Before the first outing, I swear the stoner-tattoo face guy says as he wields a flame-thrower, “I was hired as SECURITY!” when they tell him no weapons. Then he’s the one who runs away after they see the little digital memory things (WTF were those anyway) saying, “I’m just a biologist! I study rocks!”.

    2) With the stuff on the severed head they try to bring to life by shocking it, two ‘scientists’ notice;  A:”Looks like cells in a state of…” B:”Change!”.

    Ah yes, ‘change’, the technical term for cell growth or mutation….

    3)The fucking Indiana Jones references; first dropping the alien head in the storm that never breaks anyones helmet or cuts out the equipment like it was supposed to, second running from the wagon wheel ship. Running FROM IT! Like going to the side was impossible, this was maybe the dumbest part to me since Charlize even falls down with plenty of time to roll out of the way, but waits for it to crush her. Then alpha-Ripley does the same thing, only to miraculously (see where her faith came in now?) have fallen in a space where it just doesn’t crush her.

    Also, what happened to the amazingly disturbing Giger designs, why is everything in this movie tentacles? The overall story could have been good, just as you guys mention, if it was done a little smarter but I have to agree that as it stands it comes off as a joke. An insulting joke, lucky I’m not that big of a sci-fi or Alien fan though.

  • David_Dennings

    I love it when Miles sits in, he always has great things to say and he’s on top form here. That said, when you do these Vlogs in future, Spoony, can you please, PLEASE put Oreo out of the house? She’s really distracting, I’m sorry.

  • http://twitter.com/TheGunflyer Russell Westen

    Spoony, so you REALLY found Prometheus to be THAT bad? You know I’ll always agree you’re entitled to your opinion and all but I just watched the movie last night and seriously man there is NO goddamn way in hell that it’s remotely as bad as you and your brother made it out to be. True, it’s probably not a masterpiece by any stretch, but it was an interesting sci-fi film that poses many a question and discussion.

  • Ruiner

    So Spoony basically you are stating that in your mind Snow White> Promethesus? I repsect your opinion and all but Seriously?!?! A film with Kristen Stewart as the lead is more enjoyable to you then a film with a goddamn grand slam performance from Michael Fassbender? I think you guys accidently went into the wrong theater and actually saw “what to expect when you are expecting”.

     This review was extremely frustrating to watch and listen to. Normally I have a plethora of patience but for the first time the boys have managed to completely sap it. Due to the lack of any capacity to rebuttal these arguments in real time I was left with no other choice but to turn this off. Noah, and Miles I honestly respect your opinions but I COMPLETELY disagree with you two on almost every criticism made. Whether you liked it or not the fact that you are not even giving Ridley Scott even the slightest bit of credit for at least trying to give us a sci-fi film aimed at the adult crowd is absolutely inexcusable.

    • evilguyinsuit

      Erm… A lot of Channel Awesome reviews followed this pattern. In fact, all but Brad’s did. This was the most negative (surprise, surprise) but honestly… yeah, the combination of reviews focusing on character stupidity and idiot ball plot has made me less inclined to watch the movie

      Mind you, SF Debris’ review of Alien has made me tempted to go and check that one out. ;) Not sure what cut I should go with, but that does legitimately seem a better, more interesting movie than this one.

      • http://twitter.com/misfit119 Daniel Acaba

        What are you talking about? The Channel Awesome reviews are almost always cult-like in the single mind that they take. I love their reviews but when they do sci-fi it’s almost laughable how single minded and snobbish they are. Unless its Transformers, then Doug loves it and everyone else complains.

        Mind I’m really torn on this one since it can go either way (ie. the characters ARE really stupid) so while the pacing is off and the story is shaky it really does feel like it’s a real love it or hate it film.

        • evilguyinsuit

          Spoony hated it. Film Brain was severely disappointed. Doug was kinda disappointed, but not too much. Linkara wasn’t sure. But whilst their opinions on how good it was differ, they all bring up the same points. That, for me, is enough to make the call

    • Garret02

      Lol, giving someone credit for utterly failing to deliver enjoyable and intelligent flick. Imagine a doctor that failed to recognize a simple high fever and started treating some little kid eg for diabetics totally destroying this kid’s life in the process and then telling the kid’s parents “Well at least I tried and had good intentions.”

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=2042463 Amanda Siefman

        A movie isn’t a fucking operation, kiddo. You don’t need to whip out the grandoise hyperbole. If this movie was that offensively bad to you, why don’t you go check out What to Expect When You’re Expecting?

        • Garret02

          You have one like from me because my click aim went awry xD

          Anyway this movie was exactly what I was expecting it to be, that is, a bad movie. Here I wasn’t commenting on this particular movie but on the whole idea that you MUST give someone credit for simply trying.

      • http://www.facebook.com/frauen1 Frank Rauen

        Yeah that makes sense because bad movies can be life-threatening right. When you compare things they have to be comparable. I can’t believe someone has to tell you that.

        • Garret02

          This comparison is only as stupid as giving someone credit for failing to do something properly just because he had good intentions. Ridley Scott is not a 1 year old kid trying to learn how to walk.

          • http://www.facebook.com/frauen1 Frank Rauen

            The thing is I think he did it well. What I was trying to get across is that when a lot of science fiction is geared towards audiences id nowadays it is nice to see that Scott is making a film that you have to think about. The original intention of sci-fi was to make the audience think, nowadays with Transformers, The total recall remake, and even MIB 3 those films seem to be geared towards the id facet of an audience (Obviously I haven’t seen Total Recall but based on the trailers and the fact that it’s directed by Len Wiseman lends credence to the idea that it is going to be just an actioner with not much thought to it.) Personally I feel that Scott did it well and it is obvious this is supposed to be a franchise. I’m fine with some unanswered questions, in fact we get that in Alien as well like were did the thing come from. As long as the next movie does answer some of the questions that are posed in this film than I’ll look back on it fondly. If it doesn’t than it degrades the film. Also there is no “proper” way to make art of any sorts. Saying that implies that making art is a scientific venture and should be made meticulously, it’s is all subjective, it isn’t a science. That is why I have no problem with Spoony’s opinion. My problem is that as a reviewer he presents himself as an objective party but he is wildly inconsistent when it comes to his reviews. For some reason subtext in Scott Pilgrim is alright but in movies like this or Tron (which i didn’t like) it makes it pretentious. Little things like saying “This movie is ass” is an objective statement while saying “I fucking hated this movie” is subjective. My review and views on the film are also subjective, just want that on the record. What Scott was trying to do with this film is rare nowadays. The last real adult sci-fi I can think of was Moon which was about three years ago. I can respect the intention as well and it should at least be recognized that he intended to make a film for an adult audience. Whether you liked the way he did it is completely your opinion.

          • Garret02

            I don’t have problems with opinions about this movie. I don’t have problem with the fact that even if you didn’t like it, you would give credit to Ridley Scott for an attempt. Though seeing what I wrote up there it may look like I’m giving a “retarded” sticker to the sole idea of giving credit for trying. My bad here, I didn’t properly convey my thoughts. What tipped me off here were the words: “absolutely inexcusable” which imply we HAVE TO give this credit and I’m one of those dick people that are like “You either do it good or don’t do it at all”.

            And some mysteries are fine to left unsolved but some are not. Using examples from this movie. Why did Kratos’ decided to kill us is a good mystery. In fact it should not be explained. Making up an entire race set on destroying us and then for some reason nothing happens is not a good mystery (what happened to the rest of the race? did they have only one weapon storage facility?). It’s a sequel bait and a big one. Small sequel baits are kind of fine, I don’t like them but I accept them. Big sequel baits are inexcusable for me. You ought to fully enjoy a story within ONE movie. True, this movie is not about what happened to Kratos’ but about unanswered questions and “what you find might not be what you expected it to be” but their fate is the most interesting thing in this movie. Another bad mystery is what killed the Kratos’ in this facility and this one is not even a sequel bait because Shaw (or whatever her name was) left the planet. And those bastards are quite hard to kill. Giant facehugger is one thing but those snake penis things, I’d imagine a quite managable threat for Kratos’. Also why did some of Kratos’ go to the hibernation state BEFORE taking off? Well ok, this is not a mystery, it’s just a stupid move.

            Also about inconsistence in Spoony reviews. I think that is what makes him closer to us, normal folks, makes him more of a people person. I don’t know about you but I do same things when rating a movie (I’m not a reviewer, just using a movie database with scoring system, not imdb but one from my own country). There are things that bother me greatly in some movies and in others I just don’t care and I can’t explain it. It’s just how it is.

          • http://www.facebook.com/frauen1 Frank Rauen

            Ok that’s fair. I don’t mind sequel bait as long as I enjoyed the movie and actually want to see more. When movies like the friday the 13th remake do it it pisses me off because I felt that movie was remake anathema. I do hope they explain things in the next movie and that is why my review is tentative. The thing is the race also created us, the inherent mystery is why did they change their minds or what did we do to piss them off. Basically this debate comes down to what we mind and what we like in films. There are things that are universal like the characterization of the secondary characters wasn’t up to par but beyond that the majority of it is going to be opinion. And you aren’t a dick you just have a different view on doing films than I do. I do appreciate that an effort to tell a story is given because movies like transformers three probably piss me off more than you because of the lack of effort. If you hold that opinion that’s fine because it isn’t taking anything from me. The hibernation thing is kind of weird though. I think they did that to protect themselves from the things that were attacking them, which evidence points to being the black goo, only one survived but that was foreshadowed when Vickers brought up the possibility of people dying in cryostasis. This movie is definitely divisive and there are good opinions on both sides. I just happen to really like the film. And concerning Spoony, since he is a viewer just like us I would like to see him present himself as a subjective body rather than an objective one if he is going to be inconsistent in his views of films. I am inconsistent as well but I admitted I am subjective. For example I hate Scott Pilgrim because a lot of the dialogue is atrocious to me lines like the bi-curious/bi-furious one or the vegan powers just annoyed me but I enjoy plenty of movies with bad dialogue like Wild Wild West (I know that movie sucks ass but I enjoy it). Also Spoony liking Scott Pilgrim but wanting films like this to be realistic makes me kind of giggle. And it is totally fine that he likes Scott Pilgrim but to be a pro reviewer you need to be as consistent as you can. Even Ebert or Travers fuck up but at least you get a full sense of their tastes, for example Ebert hates exploitation films like Slashers and he is fairly consistent on that front. Don’t get me wrong I love Spoony’s scripted work because he breaks down in great detail why something is cool or why he hates it but also makes it funny, but his vlogs tend to annoy me because of the inconsistency.

          • Garret02

            I didn’t watch Friday the 13th remake (I’m not very fond of remakes) and I didn’t watch Transformers 3 (nor 2) because first part was more than enough for me.

            And this reason why Kratos’ changed their opinion of us from “cool dudes” to “kill those mofos” should not be revealed because if it’s anything like described here: http://cavalorn.livejournal.com/584135.html
            it sucks… And I will go see the sequel for this even though I’m expecting it to be bad, even worse than this one. And again, I can’t explain why I didn’t go see Transformers 2/3 but I will go see this one.

            Spoony is not a pro-reviewer (at least not here on this site), he is an entertainment reviewer in that his reviews are solely for entertainment (if that does make any sense). And I on the other hand really like those non-scripted vlogs. The fact that he can go unscripted and still be funny and make intelligent arguments gains him a respect from me.

          • http://www.facebook.com/frauen1 Frank Rauen

            Again difference in opinion. I think if they go down the jesus plot they wouldn’t make him directly an alien because than you cut out Mary. But why do you think it would suck? I’m not saying it wouldn’t because I don’t know how they would present it yet but why do you automatically think that it will? Also I’ve read that post and it is pure speculation, it has a lot of good reads into the movie but not much is coming straight from the horses mouth. Ok if Spoony is an entertainment reviewer that mean that I can be annoyed by his vlogs aside from the twilight ones which I find hilarious because it is opinion both on the giving and receiving ends. But if you like them more power to you. 

          • Garret02

            If they go with space Jesus then first of all this is like the oldest idea ever. Then you have problems with consistency. Like you pointed out no Mary and being 3m white bald giant something surely would be written about that in a bible or wherever. Then, this is stupid idea in itself. They made us and helped us develop around the WHOLE world and then they send ONE guy in ONE place. Not only that they think that sending this ONE, probably armless, guy into the world when the ruler is killing everything that has different idea than his own, is a good idea. Shame they didn’t send him to China. He got off easily with a crucifiction…

          • http://www.facebook.com/frauen1 Frank Rauen

            Kind of. There might be precedent for one representative being sent and coming back fine. Remember the pictographs depicted the Engineers (or Kratos) so they would have to indicate if it was a singular person or perhaps thirteen (the twelve apostles). However since Shaw was impregnated I think that is series foreshadowing of the virgin mary and that Jesus was a half alien half human or a more perfect human since the Engineer’s and Humans are very similar. It’s all speculation but I see what your concerns are. Also someone said that the Engineers were possibly written about because the resembled Nephilim. Due to the pictographs there is evidence that they had visited Earth multiple times so there would be precedent of peace between the two species. I also think the xenomorph at the end was sort of fan service however I think it was supposed to be symbolic of the fallen angels in the bible. The engineer at the beginning is self-sacrificing and from that it is implied that we were brought to life, but when the Engineer is vengeful and violent the offspring of the black goo is a xenomorph. Possibly described as a fallen angel by humans. Anyways I can see your point when it comes to doing the Space Jesus thing. I hope they do it more as he was a product of both species rather than a pure Engineer but we’ll see in three years if that is what they do. 

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/Q3R2A7DMR3GIIHOFJWPU66AAGI yahoo-Q3R2A7DMR3GIIHOFJWPU66AAGI

    Her stupid boyfriend, charlie, was the least believable as a scientist.  Well, possibly the geologist with a mohawk and attitude problem was even less believable.  Couldn’t stand any of the characters and no context was given.  Except Lawrence of Arabia.  Thanks movie.

    Hilariously dumb scene: she stumbles on the unlocked room w/ Old Man Weyland, and she’s covered in her own fetal blood in her underwear and nobody mentions anything you would say then, instead he says “have you lost your faith?”


    Agreed with a lot of the review. Felt the same way about the “that’s ‘cuz your not human” line at the end.  There was no subtle. And the movie really was “deep without being smart”

    Maybe we should think about it from an old man perspective. Ridley is like 80.  Ebert loved and he’s like… what, 200 years old?  Maybe it’s all a really clever take on how only women can procreate and men hate them for it and wanna see them ripped open by alien squid glans.

  • http://www.chrisdymond.com Chris Dymond

    Remember when Alien came out and everyone was raving about its realism…?

  • Garret02

    Yeah, it is a bad movie. Though you forgot to complain about at least one thing. Why did the Kratos aliens not go and destroy the Earth? I mean there were multiple ships, crew ready to go (why did they enter the hibernation before instead of after the start is beyond my comprehension) and then what happend? Some guy went “Hey, before we take off, how about fucking around with those jar thingies?”. I get it could fumble the start of ONE ship but multiple? What about the rest of the Kratos’ that should live on a planet somewhere? Did they forget that they send a group with a destruction mission? And if this plane was really only weapon storage, why did they draw a “map” to it in those caves? I imagine they drawn them before wanting to wipe out the entire planet.

    And the aliens ships look like crescent shaped croissant. And when it was rolling over and “pursiung” Charlize and the other chick it was sooo stupid. I was like “Just go to the fucking side. Is it so hard?”.

    But honestly, after two last Alien movies and two AvP movies this was about as much as I was expecting. Alien brand is dead.

    • Shaughn Cameron

      It was never established that there were other surviving Engineers in stasis. The one who appears in the film, is quite possibly the only one left. The others seemingly died during the outbreak. We’ve seen that at least one ship did make it off the planet during the outbreak, that being the same derelict ship seen in the original Alien. As to why he went to kill Shaw rather than just piloting another ship, maybe he was a little pissed off that these insignificant creatures actually took down his ship. It might be a tad embarrassing. 

      • Garret02

        I’m not talking about other Kratos’ in stasis (guess his hibernation pod still working was some sort of incredible luck). I’m talking about the whole race that should live somewhere on some other planet and be worried about their military group send to destroy the Earth.

        And how did he know she was still alive?

        So if one ship manage to take off and go to Earth and crashed somewhere on the way then were do original Aliens come from? That squid thing that mouth-rapes our last Kratos is probably first version of facehugger. Those jar thingies do not change into Alien eggs.

        • Shaughn Cameron

          I don’t see how his luck is any more outlandish than that of Ripley, who went through similar experiences. 57 years floating through space, and picked up by chance. As for the remainder of the Engineers, we really don’t know what happened to them, but as they’ve been out of contact with their research outpost for 2000 years, it’s probably nothing good. Also, the black liquid, and by extension that entire facility wasn’t designed to destroy the Earth. At least not at first. At the beginning of the film, we see one of the Engineers drinking the substance. It seems to act much like the Genesis device, but strictly on a biological level. It destroys whatever it touches, but it also creates something new. Life from death. This substance can be used to create and destroy as the opening showed us. I would suspect that the home world of the Engineers suffered a similar fate.

          As far as how he knew Shaw was alive, he had already seen her escape when he killed Weyland and the others. Furthermore, he’s literally connected to the ship through that command station. If he’s piloting the ship, then there has to be some kind of display, whether it be visual or otherwise, in order for him to control it. Admittedly, we never see what the Engineer sees, but to assume that he has no way of detecting the space around him is asinine. Even the humans have the technology to scan for life or movement, so I doubt that’s out of the Engineer’s capabilities. Especially considering that they can create life. Really the only piece left of the Prometheus was the life boat, so it stands to reason that his attention would be drawn there.

          LV-223 where Prometheus takes place, and LV-426 where Alien takes place, are both moons orbiting the same planet. When the team investigates LV-223 they determine that some outbreak had occurred, and there are signs of the Xenomorphs as we know them, such as the slime on the walls, the bodies of Engineers with holes in their chest similar to that of the one seen in Alien. And we clearly see the Engineers fleeing from something, and very few actually getting away. The ship in Alien was likely fleeing this outbreak, but clearly didn’t get very far. I believe they said that all of this must have occurred about 2000 years before the events in Prometheus, which would add up. The creatures we see in Prometheus are just divergent evolutionary paths of the black liquid, which can lead to the Xenomorphs.

          • Garret02

            I never intended to make his hibernation “outlandish”, guess should’ve added “and I’m ok with that” line…

            And that’s one of the problems with this movie. There are mysteries that are fine and even desireable and there are mysteries that are not. Making one civilization set on destroying ours and then *pop* nothing happens is one that I would consider bullshit and sequel bait. And I personally hate that. You should be able to fully appreciate story within ONE movie. I know that this movie was more about “things that you find might not be what you’d imagine” but I just can’t accept that entire race is gone and for explanation you have to wait for a sequel. Imagine this movie wouldn’t sell and sequel would be cut. You can’t do sequel baits of that proportion having this in mind. The Avengers were different in that nothing would’ve happened to the universe story if they weren’t made.

            I would think that Kratos in the beginning of the movie gave up his life to give us ours but I don’t think that the substance he drunk was the same as in those jars.

            I’d imagine that this display would stop working after a crash but that’s a fair point (and I’m not bothered by this particular thing that much, you started this one :P).

            Are you sure the bodies of Kratos’ have had opened chests? Because I don’t think they had (but maybe I didn’t notice). And Aliens did not make a heap out of bodies. They were sticking them to the walls. And I imgaine there would be at least some eggs left. I mean in Alien those eggs were there for a long time just waiting so this should be same case if there was a Xenomorph outbreak. But if you are correct then that would mean that the only purpose of the giant facehugger at the end is a funservice which actually pisses me off.

            And that still doesn’t explain why the hell did majority of Kratos’ go to hibernation state BEFORE they took off. It’s a stupid idea.

            And now that I think about it, making parted prequels is quite easy. You give initial idea that doesn’t do much with the material of the original, make one movie and then read post/comments on various sites and you have plenty of material for the next movie. And it’s a good material because fans will do as good as they can so their theories are consistent, logical and lead to the original material. And all this for free…

          • Shaughn Cameron

            That’s debatable. The problem is that the Alien series has always thrived off its sense of mystery. I’m actually glad they didn’t explain everything, and don’t really find it necessary to do so. Compared to the original Alien, Prometheus gave far more answers than its predecessor, and even covered all of the loose ends from the original film, i.e. where did that ship come from, what was the alien in the chair, where did the Xenomorphs come from, etc.

            The substance in the jars and at the beginning look identical. They both seem to be alive to some degree. They have the same effect when in contact with another creature, in that they utterly destroy said creature, but also produce something new from it. They way they rip apart the Engineer and Holloway look almost identical. It seems very likely that they’re one in the same.

            When they find the pile of Engineer bodies, they specifically mention that their chests have been blown open, as if they exploded from inside. And no, that doesn’t automatically mean that the face hugger was there only for fan service. There’s more than just one possibility in any given scenario. How about demonstrating the progressing from the black liquid to the Xenomorphs? Throughout the film we’d seen hints that they were connected, but we never saw anything definitive until the end.

            They never said that the majority of the Engineers were in stasis. As far as we could tell, the one at the end was one of the only ones who did. All of the Engineers they’ve seen have been out of stasis.

  • starsickle

    I’m pretty disappointed and a bit angry at this video. Not only did you not have the facts straight about the movie you just watched, but you knew it was an alien prequel yet didn’t even acknowledge that they filled the precisely same roles as the other films as a matter of homage and faith. Yet those films aren’t “laughably bad”?

    You mentioned The Geologist’s map and the Shaw’s anesthetic problem, which I think are big problems in the plot, but in failing to understand how the 2023 TED talk was actually important to the story and critical to understanding two characters, not using your knowledge of the Alien franchise to understand why the movie is written and why the characters are the way they are things that should humble you in the future for failing to really think before you rant.

    The Medpod was for Weyland. It was noted that only a few were built, and giving Vickers some credit, I’m pretty sure you’d know that about one of about a dozen of a device ever made, and her father certainly is one of the people that could afford it. Her father is days before death. She knows he’s on the ship. She likes being prepared. Makes sense to me.

    As for the crew – you are asking people to give up the better half of a decade of their life on a mission they will not know about out in deep space. Of course you aren’t getting the best and brightest, especially without already being tapped for better places. You’re going to get barely qualified and barely desirable people – just like in real life.

    And finally, Spoony, your view of how scientists act, what they believe and how they behave is narrow-minded. Shaw believing in God or Heaven is definitely not out of the question, even after everything she goes through.

    I expect better behavior out you. You attended college – you supposedly worked towards a CS degree. I can’t believe you’d have such a lack of perspective.

    • ilya sul

       Why do you even bother?

  • Shaughn Cameron

    I’m hesitant to bring this up, as I’m sure many will make a knee jerk reaction to this and assume I’m putting Prometheus at the same level as Blade Runner, which I’m not, but there is an interesting parallel between the two. Both were pretty polarizing when they came out, and several of the complaints are pretty similar, i.e. lack of clarity/focus, dialogue, lack of closure, style over substance. 
    Now, that being said, I am by no means implying that Prometheus is nearly as good as Blade Runner, but I think it will be interesting to view the project in a few years time, and see where it stands. Personally, I’d say it was just a good movie. Not great, but I suppose if I made as many misinterpretations of the plot as Noah and Miles did (which I listed earlier in the comments) I might hate it too.

  • starsickle

     It *was* very funny when you mocked the Biologist, though. He died the same death his “predecessor” did.

  • ORCACommander

    we need a Spoony VS Brad: Prometheus vlog since they have such opposite opinions of the movie

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Scott-Earle/100000726174033 Scott Earle

    i liked Noomi o_O

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Omar-J-Leonard/166401453 Omar J. Leonard

    Here’s a very interesting essay about Prometheus that may enlighten you about the movie, whether or not you enjoyed it:


    • MediaGold

           I just got done reading this.  Very, very interesting read.  All the haters definitely should check this out.

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ICDHG7TLTN6JVK6JMK3TKQFXKQ Mike Wallace

         I gotta say I’m not a hater. I’m disappointed that we got another bungled Alien film and frustrated that they did so almost deliberately. I’m a big opponent of  the whole “ancient aliens” theories, because they invalidate our own achivements, but I particularly loathe the idea that we’re a failed species and how we deserve to be swept aside with the same mindset one tosses out an empty McDonald’s wrapper.

        Not only that but Prometheus’ attempt to explain human life is a particularly thick slab of bullshit. DNA doesn’t work the way they show it in the movie, and millions of years of natural evolution would have warped the original DNA into something almost unrecognizeable. It’s all one big sloppy mess.

        • dsutty

          Yeah I’m not a ‘hater’ either but to me all the religious symbology and allegory doesn’t lift the film at all, in fact in just weighs it down more. The characters still say and do all the same dumb things; take off their helmets in an unknown alien atmosphere, get lost when theres a map, run away from a dead alien only to deliberately mess with a live one, flee in the obviously wrong direction from a falling space ship etc etc, only now we know that their idiocy was all inspired because of ‘Space Jesus’. Its all so deflating to think what Prometheus could have been. Its a missed opportunity if ever there was one. Still its not the end of the world and my childhood hasn’t been ‘raped’ – Facehuggers already did that – those things still scare the shit out of me!

          Sorry should have been a reply to MediaGold!

        • dsutty

          Yeah I’m not a ‘hater’ either but to me all the religious symbology and allegory doesn’t lift the film at all, in fact in just weighs it down more. The characters still say and do all the same dumb things; take off their helmets in an unknown alien atmosphere, get lost when theres a map, run away from a dead alien only to deliberately mess with a live one, flee in the obviously wrong direction from a falling space ship etc etc, only now we know that their idiocy was all inspired because of ‘Space Jesus’. Its all so deflating to think what Prometheus could have been. Its a missed opportunity if ever there was one. Still its not the end of the world and my childhood hasn’t been ‘raped’ – Facehuggers already did that – those things still scare the shit out of me!

          Sorry should have been a reply to MediaGold!

      • dsutty

        Yeah I’m not a ‘hater’ either but to me all the religious symbology and allegory doesn’t lift the film at all, in fact in just weighs it down more. The characters still say and do all the same dumb things; take off their helmets in an unknown alien atmosphere, get lost when theres a map, run away from a dead alien only to deliberately mess with a live one, flee in the obviously wrong direction from a falling space ship etc etc, only now we know that their idiocy was all inspired because of ‘Space Jesus’. Its all so deflating to think what Prometheus could have been. Its a missed opportunity if ever there was one. Still its not the end of the world and my childhood hasn’t been ‘raped’ – Facehuggers already did that – those things still scare the shit out of me!

    • http://www.facebook.com/frauen1 Frank Rauen

      One interesting point about the essay is that they were coming to wipe us out after 2’000 years. I immediately thought about Noahs Ark and if they had killed us off before.

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ICDHG7TLTN6JVK6JMK3TKQFXKQ Mike Wallace

        What I want to know is if they decided to wipe us out, why didn’t they follow up on it? The outpost assigned the task goes dark, and the home office doesn’t notice? Just kind of sits there and waits for how many centuries?

        • http://www.facebook.com/frauen1 Frank Rauen

          Yeah I thought that in the theater too. That may be a plothole but it really isn’t significant enough ruin the experience because there may be a good explanation for why that is. Perhaps the ships aren’t under a planetary control but private control and the people who ran the ships didn’t want to risk losing another. With the amount of parralels between the humans and the engineers an explanation like that wouldn’t be too out of place. But yes as it stands that is a plothole in the film. Same as why didn’t they send an entire fucking army in Aliens so obviously smaller plotholes won’t ruin a film.

          • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ICDHG7TLTN6JVK6JMK3TKQFXKQ Mike Wallace

            I’d argue that in Aliens, their squad could have handled themselves a lot better if Gorman hadn’t ordered them to sling their pulse rifles. It’s funny because the reason they were ordered to disarm was to prevent damage to the terraformer, and it ends up getting critical damage anyways. What can you do? lol

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ICDHG7TLTN6JVK6JMK3TKQFXKQ Mike Wallace

    I’m getting “Neon Genesis Evangelion” levels of pretentiousness from this movie.

    ((Kind of spoilers and an angry rant following so be warned.))

    This “man destroys himself” theme really kills the Alien mythos for me. When I watched the first Alien, that whole deconstruction of humanity’s flaws was a SUBPLOT. The big message I took from the movie was–in the words of Karl Urban’s Leonard McCoy–that
    “space is disease and danger wrapped in darkness and silence.” That out in space, there are things that defy our understanding, because they are so advanced as to dwarf our primitive minds, or so bizarre that they are utterly alien, and we can comprehend their nature only because they are so antithetical to our existence. The only way we can overcome them is by seeing them as a common enemy and turning that inherent human selfishness towards the survival of our species. From my perspective the aliens were Lovecraftian monsters, unknowable horrors that had
    survived unspeakable eons in a galaxy of malice to become the apex predators of space. Mankind was prey to them and nothing more, and that we would have to use every gift our sentience gave us just to survive them. Ripley’s battle in Aliens to protect Newt against the Queen and her brood felt like an evolutionary duel, with the winner becoming the dominant force in the galaxy, the way wolves and bears will
    kill each others’ young to prevent them from becoming rivals in the future. Nothing more than survival of the fittest against a beast arguably more fit than we are. None of this “god works in mysterious ways” garbage. But no, it turns out that “humans are the greatest monsters” and that we’re just a bunch of stupid bastards who killed Space Jesus and deserve to get curb stomped, and we will because the xenomorphs are OUR fault. Big fucking whup. Any piece of Warhammer 40k lore could do that tired rhetoric up the wazoo.

    And the biggest kick in the balls is that its so presumptive. Like humanity was all sunshine and rainbows until what? White people found swords? Fuck off. Talk about giant leaps of arrogance to make Catholicism the one defining moment of human culture, ignoring almost 3000 years of history everywhere else on Earth prior to the crucifixion. Classy. This whole mentality that mankind just “turned into douchebags” at some point in the past 2000 years is the most cynical, presumptive, narrowminded bullshit I’ve ever heard. Name me ONE fucking moment in the entirety of human history that wasn’t dominated by disease, famine, or war. Better yet, look up the death count of World War I and II. Combined, they don’t even come close to the Black Death which claimed over 450 million people in the 14th century. Stop acting like you’re living in the end times because the newspapers like to sensationalize every act of violence that occurs on earth. Compared to some periods of human history, modern mankind with its dickheaded greedy fucktard corporations and religious extremists and bird flu is one of the most fucking stable periods mankind has ever enjoyed. You live in a world of climate-controlled homes, microwaves, chai lattes, the internet and vaccinations. Fuck you and your dim view of humanity. Fuck you and your belief that every achievement mankind has ever made is thanks to some superior godlike outside force and alone we’re nothing but a self-destructive cesspool of suck, the smegma on god’s circumcised foreskin. Fuck you.

    • http://www.facebook.com/nick.blauvelt.90 Nick Blauvelt

      good argument. No seriously i like it. Yes i agree this movie was bad but not nearly as bad a betrayal as 3 or res. Hopefully with the next one they will get it right. I know i sound like a desperate fan boy, because i am. I wanna see this series great again, and i know lots of people do too. Alien was the first movie i saw home alone and i want that same experience of nearly crapping my pants again because of the horrible things that happen 

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ICDHG7TLTN6JVK6JMK3TKQFXKQ Mike Wallace

         I know how you feel, Nick. I was really looking forward to this movie. I was hoping a lot from it. Not just to see the aliens again, but to have answers for questions that had been waiting for decades to be answered.

        But it didn’t have the balls to be “real” about itself. It chose an eye-rolling groaner of a message ending. Ridley used it to echo his evidently narrow opinions about humanity and religion, instead of actually exploring scientific and philosophical concepts that would make us think. It’s like Left Behind in Space.

        Even War of the Worlds–which up and tells you God saved us from the martians–doesn’t feel like such patronizing hand-waving.

      • jsmith0552

        Too late to get it right. Once it’s out there it’s out there, unless the filmmaker’s decide that the film exists in an alternate universe from the Alien of 1980.

    • dsutty

      I think you make some very good points there. I always thought something stank as bad as a 2,000 year old Engineer’s head, about the whole ‘Space Jesus’ concept. It seems some people are marvelling over how great and ‘deep’ this crap is. The notion that Space Jesus provided us with unequalled moral teaching and then nasty old humans killed him and therefore we somehow bring all the horrors of the Xenomorph and the Engineers on ourselves. To me it is a really repellent idea. To me that’s not just a big middle finger to the audience but such a resounding, if perhaps inadvertent, fuck you to the whole of humanity. Its a theme that runs through all Abrahamic religion; humans should be punished for being human; and
      apparently Prometheus too. ‘Too on the nose’ as Scott put it is an understatement, no wonder he didn’t make it explicit, its morally bankrupt and he probably realises this.
      Scott’s brutally rationalist, existential universe as portrayed in Alien has far more
      impact and is more compellent as you suggest. The horror of the universe is not evil, its cold infinite indifference, ‘In space no one can hear you scream’! The Xenomorph wasn’t evil it was simply an organism struggling to survive. For humans, whose evolutionary path has led to the emergence of a morality beyond mere selfish survival, the prospect of being cast back into a violent, unrelenting ‘state of nature’ conflict for life is equally as horrifying. So life may come from death, but its not the self sacrifice of an alien ubermensch to whom we should abase ourselves in gratitude on pain of extermination. Its from what Charles Darwin termed the ‘war of nature’…’Thus, from the war of nature, from famine and death, the most exalted object which we are capable of conceiving, namely, the production of the higher
      animals, directly follows…There is grandeur in this view of life, with its several powers, having been originally breathed into a few forms or into one; and that, whiles this planet has gone cycling on according to the fixed law of gravity, from so simple a beginning endless forms most beautiful and most wonderful have been, and are being, evolved’… Or in other words, Prometheus is a moral muddle and Space Jesus can kiss my human ass!

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ICDHG7TLTN6JVK6JMK3TKQFXKQ Mike Wallace

         Amen to that, brother. 100% truth.

      • Johndar

        I concur. I have argued before about the morality of the Aliens. There was a picture detailing the alignments in 3rd edition dnd with nerd culture examples, ie Darth Vader lawful evil, Picard Lawful Neutral. I personally agreed with all of them except the Aliens were described a Neutral Evil. Aliens are true neutral like any other animal. The person argued that they were intelligent, and sometimes sadistic. Have they never seen a cat play with a mouse? The cat isn’t evil, it has no morality. Lots of animals display the intelligence Xenomorphs do in the movies.

    • The_2nd_Victim

        I may be completely wrong about the intentions of the Engineers but my interpretation of their purpose was mainly derived from David’s comment about them first destroying to create. My impression was that they set up Earth for some experiment using the planet as their isolated lab, but some time in the intervening
      time they either finished their experiments or grew bored and decided to
      wipe us out to create a clean slate of sorts to build something new.
      Because they were planning to wipe us out they set up this base but
      something went wrong and they all died.

      No matter what their reasons for trying to kill us all I was
      particularly confused as to why they would tell us to go there in the
      first place. No matter what we planned on telling another society to
      meet ours I don’t think that telling someone to go to a weapons testing
      ground would make much sense. For all the faults of the film the reason
      that they told us to go to such a death trap is the biggest problem I
      have with the film (there are others, but many have already been
      mentioned and most are just nitpicking).

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ICDHG7TLTN6JVK6JMK3TKQFXKQ Mike Wallace

         The problem with that theory is that why would the Engineers involve themselves with our civilizations at all if we were just guinea pigs? Why wouldn’t the rest of the Engineers take up the task of wiping us out when their military colony failed? Is the bulk of their race extinct because of their messing around with the dark liquid?

        Hell, one theory is the dark liquid reacts to the minds of living beings around it, and the reason it becomes so aggresive and selfish is because of human aggression and selfishness. But maybe the Engineers’ sudden desire to kill us all as a failed species just triggered the liquid to become murderous and it wiped them out.

    • http://www.facebook.com/daniel.westgate.100 Daniel Westgate

      It’s more pretentious than Evangelion. At least that show knew you can’t put to words some things, so why even bring it up? “I…I just know…” … … … Bah.

  • Patrick Coyle

    Random thought just jumped into my head here: Kratos basically resembled a giant human, right?  The book of Genesis makes a passing reference to a race called the nephilim, half-angel giants who walked the earth alongside men prior to the flood.

    Does the movie mention this? Because that could have been an interesting idea to bring up.  Was anybody who made this movie – which tries to deal with issues of faith and religion – familiar enough with the religion in question to think of the connection?  If not, did they talk with any religious people to ask “hey, what would you think in this situation?” to get an idea of how they might realistically react?  Is Charlize’s character the kind of religious person who doesn’t know squat about her own faith?

    Better yet, why am I filling thematic holes in a movie I haven’t seen?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=529444817 Mike Dean

    I think the reason why the surgical robot could only service male anatomy was a way for the writers and director to allude to the fact that her father is on the ship. That would aslo explain why her room was so laid out with a bar and grand piano. her father is a trillionaire and he definitely needs medical attention.

    • http://www.facebook.com/frauen1 Frank Rauen

      When it comes to that I also think that male is another word for “Non-Reproductive” A broken leg or a broken arm are similar situations for males and females but it was just shorter to say “Male”. After all I wouldn’t expect them to bring along someone who was pregnant or suffering from reproductive cancer on a three year long quest. Except Weyland but he funded the expedition so of course nobody is going to tell him no.

  • volbla

     I’m not going to argue for why i like the movie more than i dislike it, but i do want to correct you on one error (which someone has probably already done, but whatever).

    The 100% match with human DNA wasn’t from Kratos’ head itself. It was what came out of his head when it exploded. It was exactly like that Kratos in the begining. He drank the goo which killed him, and that created the first human DNA.

    It still makes no sense from an evolutionary standpoint, but just putting it out there.

  • http://twitter.com/JosephLee411 Joseph Lee

    Wait, you mean Spoony didn’t like something? Quick, alert the media!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/James-Paul-Johnson/9383581 James Paul Johnson

    I like it.  Though my measure of a great movie is not a movie that has no problems…it’s a movie where I’m so caught up in it, I don’t notice those problems until later, or am able to ignore them.  Of the problems presented here, the only two I noticed were the number of crew members, which I was able to let go in a conversation after the movie, and the setting to male on the medical machine.  I would say that the first half of the movie is really good, while the second half is alright.  So that’s 4 out of 5 stars. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/rmarchan Ryan Marchan

    Im kinda surprised Spoony hated this movie so passionately. Well Ill do my best to explain things as I understood them.  If anyone has anymore questions about the movie ill happy to discuss it. :)
    Okay first off, there was security on the ship, im pretty sure its specifically mentioned that there is security on the ship. Im assuming they were mercenaries. They were the guys firing guns during the attack by Fiefield, and patrolling the Prometheus everytime the scientists went out.
    When on the ship the Captain of the ship is always in charge, anything concerning research or the aliens, the two scientists are in charge, having funded the whole thing Vickers is in charge of everyone and can override any order. There wouldn’t be a conflict unless someone felt someone else overstepped their bounds.
    The Medical pod was meant for Weyland. Its obviously meant to be one of the most advanced technologies currently in use and for whatever reason theres not very many of them.  OOOOR, and this is a big or, Vickers like you theorized is a man. One of the things being discussed about the movie was whether or not Vickers was a man, woman, or android. I just think the pod was for Weyland.

    Okay no one was screwing with the black goo like spoony was suggesting. David was working Weyland’s orders to understand it. he wasn’t using it like silly putty. he noticed as we the audience should have noticed the black goo doesn’t react to his presence. It reacts to living creatures and David is not alive. The reason David put the goo in Holloway’s glass is because weyalnd told him too “try harder”, whatever that meant,  David thought it was excuse enough to experiment on Holloway.

    The two guys that got lost; Fiefield and Millburn… First off, I really don’t remember Fiefield having a map on his wrist. It mapped the entire place for the ship. By the time Fiefield reported in that he was lost it was too late, the storm was on its way. It makes sense, I mean if you in a new place do you just give up and admit your lost after a couple minutes of walking? I know I wouldn’t, I know I havnt. I know most people I know wouldn’t. people don’t just admit to being lost within a couple of minutes of not reaching their destination. Most people that I know would probably going an hour before admitting theyre lost.

    I agree about the worms, the way the guy acted was just silly BUUUT he was also high. Still that scene was just too silly. Also I don’t remember there being any orchestra stings during the entirety of the film or any pop out scares for that matter. The closest thing to a pop out scare was when Millburn’s bones popped out.

    Weyland who I agree was a terrible make up job (reminded me of Biff from Back to the Future 2) wanted to meet his maker on his feet, hence why he didn’t take a wheelchair. It’s a pride thing. You don’t know any old people who would want to look their best if they were going to meet their maker?

    The guy that attacked the base wasn’t Holloway it was Fiefield. The geologist, I was confused too at first, but hes not burnt just covered in dirt, goo and going through physical transformation. And he wasn’t impervious to bullets he reacted to getting shot every time, they just wernt doing much to stop him.

    Elizabeth was also pumping herself full of meds from 80 years in the future, a future where they have interstellar space travel. My suspension of disbelief allows me to believe whatever was in there was good enough to keep her awake and alert.

    The Lifeboat was too far away for Vickers to make it. so she took a life pod. And they detached the lifeboat first before they were even on course to intercept the Engineer ship.

    Jesus had a lot to do with the movie. His death 2000 years ago is what lead to engineers wanting to kill us. Jesus was a space Jockey. Or so we’re lead to believe.

    I like this movie a lot but I havnt settled on a score yet, I keep bouncing between a 7 or an 8 out of 10.

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/VKCPJ2PBCOLX5UQAJYYTMQZFSY William

      ” Okay no one was screwing with the black goo like spoony was suggesting. David was working Weyland’s orders to understand it. he wasn’t using it like silly putty. he noticed as we the audience should have noticed the black goo doesn’t react to his presence. It reacts to living creatures and David is not alive. The reason David put the goo in Holloway’s glass is because weyalnd told him too “try harder”, whatever that meant,  David thought it was excuse enough to experiment on Holloway.”
      I think Spoony was joking a bit there with the playing with the goo part, but that doesn’t explain why experiment on some one in a none controlled way like that.  The only reason I could kind of see for why David dosed Holloway with it was because Holloway was kind of an asshole to David.  And I guess if I was a robot and given a vague order like “try harder” I’d dose the guy who talks crap to me 1st before anyone else.

      “The two guys that got lost; Fiefield and Millburn… First off, I really don’t remember Fiefield having a map on his wrist. It mapped the entire place for the ship. By the time Fiefield reported in that he was lost it was too late, the storm was on its way. It makes sense, I mean if you in a new place do you just give up and admit your lost after a couple minutes of walking? I know I wouldn’t, I know I havnt. I know most people I know wouldn’t. people don’t just admit to being lost within a couple of minutes of not reaching their destination. Most people that I know would probably going an hour before admitting theyre lost.”

      Shortly after he releases the floating mapping spheres he’s the one leading the way and he looks down at some thing and said, “this way” shortly before David starts screwing with something on the wall and activates the holograms that show the Jockeys running from something and the one falling and getting its head chopped off in a door.  As the geologist he was the one in charge of mapping the place and studying the rocks(that I’m sure he never even looked at a single one).  How could he have gotten so lost so quick anyway they hadn’t gone that far into the place at that point and I’m sure they got the same message as every one else that a storm was coming and they needed to return to the ship.  Pride be damned he’d asked for help out if he could find his way back to the front door when being told to evacuate! 

      “I agree about the worms, the way the guy acted was just silly BUUUT he was also high. Still that scene was just too silly. Also I don’t remember there being any orchestra stings during the entirety of the film or any pop out scares for that matter. The closest thing to a pop out scare was when Millburn’s bones popped out.”

      No he wasn’t high the other guy was.  The geologist guy was getting high but the dude that was screwing with the Xeno-Cobra wasn’t.  He was the one shocked that there was smoke in the other guy’s helmet and asked him what he has in his suit’s respirator.  They never showed him smoking anything so he was sober.  So unless they did a poor job of editing and he did get high or the Penis-Python was somehow hypnotizing him he had no reason to got screwing around with it.  Also weed makes you paranoid and jumpy so if they were afraid of a 2000 year old dead headless jockey body sober they’d be freaking out like Shaggy and Scooby over a live Scrotum-Serpent!

      “Weyland who I agree was a terrible make up job (reminded me of Biff from Back to the Future 2) wanted to meet his maker on his feet, hence why he didn’t take a wheelchair. It’s a pride thing. You don’t know any old people who would want to look their best if they were going to meet their maker?”

      Reminds me more of Dan Aykroyd as Reeve Alvin Valkenheiser.

      “The guy that attacked the base wasn’t Holloway it was Fiefield. The geologist, I was confused too at first, but hes not burnt just covered in dirt, goo and going through physical transformation. And he wasn’t impervious to bullets he reacted to getting shot every time, they just wernt doing much to stop him.”

      I’ve had this conversation a few times and I’m still not a 100% on who it was suppose to be as he was covered in black(could’ve been charred from the burn or black ooze from soaking in the stuff) and the face was deformed from the mutation.  But it does make me wonder what did happen to Holloway’s body if that wasn’t him?   Did they just level him burning out side the ship or bring his infected corpse back onto the ship!?

      “Elizabeth was also pumping herself full of meds from 80 years in the future, a future where they have interstellar space travel. My suspension of disbelief allows me to believe whatever was in there was good enough to keep her awake and alert.”

      I still agree with Spoony on the fact later movies show people being given drugs in this franchise and there’s still drowsiness as a side effect.  But yeah I guess I can buy future drugs with low to no side effects, but she still shouldn’t have been as spry and mobile as she was since that surgery wasn’t complete.  It cut her abdomen open along with her womb and the best I could tell since as a machine programmed to only work on male patents it didn’t suture her uterus back shut so she should be bleeding out threw her crotch.  Also it or she the best I could tell it or she didn’t clamp the umbilical cord shut.  There’s a reason they clamp those before cutting them.

      “Jesus had a lot to do with the movie. His death 2000 years ago is what lead to engineers wanting to kill us. Jesus was a space Jockey. Or so we’re lead to believe.”

      Ok, I don’t know where you got that from.  I don’t recall that being mention anywhere or even hinted at.  Unless it was an expedition dump somewhere I missed.  Like how the only reason we know the Jockey/Engineers want to destroy Earth is because David said so when all we and he knows is they were plotting a coarse to Earth.  If we’re going on the fact the movie is saying all those Ancient Alien theories are true in this movie’s universe they could’ve just been coming to Earth to check up on progress or abduct a few people for testing.  The only foreseeable reason i can muster for them to want to destroy Earth and humanity is we’ve developed too far and it’s time to them at least we be destroyed.  Like in real life we’ve developed the ability to make clones but the closes we’ve come to making human ones are a few dividing cells but we kill them before they can grow big enough to be considered a living life form because that whole morals thing.

      • http://www.facebook.com/rmarchan Ryan Marchan

        Yeah i know spoony was exaggerating but still, someone who hadnt seen the movie might have believed him. I just think David did it because Weyland didnt want to wait for controlled experiments, he wanted results now. Weyland is extremely selfish, i mean the whole reason he funded the expedition is so he could ask for eternal life (or at least more than what he had) so i could see him not caring who died for results. like you said David probably picked him because he was a bit of jerk to David and he was also a main character. 

        alright fair enough, there was no reason for him getting lost, ill give you that. its possible though he was just following one of pups, not seeing a map on his wrist.

        i just took it that he got high too after noticing fiefield was getting high. come on now! dont call it a penis-python unless your going to start calling facehuggers vagina-spiders. *shutters at the idea of vagina spiders*. i dont think they were afraid of the dead alien body so much as being spooked at the idea that they were officially not the only life in the universe anymore. also i dont think he was afraid of the snake because he was a biologist and took for granted that it would be more or less like the snake back home. 

        It was Fiefield. i saw some of the production pictures. its clearly him being transformed. they also have sculpts of what he was going to turn into when his transformation is complete. i figured they just burned holloway into ashes.

        i dont know what to say lol, maybe she pumped herself full of nanobots that healed the wound from the inside. regarless her grunting and screaming in pain was good enough for me.

        yeah the characters were just assuming things but id rather we assume the alien who just killed a handful of humans wants to destroy earth than assume he doesnt let him go and he gets there a couple years and than destroys the human race. the theory is that jesus was an engineer and 2000 years ago the romans killed him, upset with the human race and the direction they were going the engineers were getting ready to wipe us out but something happend (xenomorphs?) and they destroyed themselves. someone else came up with the theory along with 5 or so pages of explanation. it was well thought out and very detailed analyzing the entire film. regardless theres apparently been an interview (i havnt seen it yet) where Ridley scott confirms that this is the case and he talks more in depth about it.  

        • http://boorat.deviantart.com/#/d4c9c3t William “BooRat” Blackshire

          “Yeah i know spoony was exaggerating but still, someone who hadnt seen the movie might have believed him. I just think David did it because Weyland didnt want to wait for controlled experiments, he wanted results now. Weyland is extremely selfish, i mean the whole reason he funded the expedition is so he could ask for eternal life (or at least more than what he had) so i could see him not caring who died for results. like you said David probably picked him because he was a bit of jerk to David and he was also a main character.”
          I’d say I’d hope people know how to read sarcasm but I’ve been reading the other comments and yeah…  no one gets sarcasm anymore!  Go watch and read The Cinema Snob(Brad)’s Re-Review!
          Yeah Weyland was pushing things a lot to move quicker which makes some sense, but I prefer to believe that David was curious himself and Holloway was just a dick and when picking the person i’m going to test an untested chemical on it’d be the guy giving me crap.  Also some one where pointed this out already David asked him vaguely if he’d, “Do anything to get his answer” and Holloway basically said yes and that’s when David dosed him. 

          “alright fair enough, there was no reason for him getting lost, ill give you that. its possible though he was just following one of pups, not seeing a map on his wrist.”

          It just felt like they were fallowing more of an 80s horror movie rules than making something new and more profound to me.  If they wanted to make it believable for me he’d get lost so easy do the whole he when he and the other dude left they dropped the device the ship did something to slit them off like the whole labyrinth thing that it changed its layout. 

          “i just took it that he got high too after noticing fiefield was getting high. come on now! dont call it a penis-python unless your going to start calling facehuggers vagina-spiders. *shutters at the idea of vagina spiders*. i dont think they were afraid of the dead alien body so much as being spooked at the idea that they were officially not the only life in the universe anymore. also i dont think he was afraid of the snake because he was a biologist and took for granted that it would be more or less like the snake back home.”

          I’d figured that too but he asked the dude about what he was smoking only like a few seconds before the Cock-Cobra showed up.  Hey, I’ve seen Vagina-Spiders and they’re more frightening than any Face-hugger! XD  Read Orglaf web comics! http://oglaf.com/8legs/
          I figured that idea should’ve hit them when they found a built structure and a hologram of 10 tale elephant looking monsters. XD
          If he did he should’ve really recognize that as an aggressive display.  Also he was just a biologist not a herpetologist!  Biologist study how living things work the herpetologist study reptiles and snakes and are the ones more qualified to be stupid enough to screw with snakes.  If they set him up as like a Crocodile Hunter style guy then it’d mae a bit more sense!

          “It was Fiefield. i saw some of the production pictures. its clearly him being transformed. they also have sculpts of what he was going to turn into when his transformation is complete. i figured they just burned Holloway into ashes.”

          Gotta link to these pics as all I could tell was he looked to have gotten a bigger head!  But what happened to him was what i was kind of hoping the whole movie would’ve been.  They went down to this planet found all the Jockey’s dead and brought back a canister onto their(the human’s) ship and it start like an virus style story where it mutates crew members into monsters that kill all the others. 

          “i dont know what to say lol, maybe she pumped herself full of nanobots that healed the wound from the inside. regarless her grunting and screaming in pain was good enough for me.”

          I just take it the writer wanted to make his own “Chestbuster scene” and came up with the idea of a woman getting surgery awake to remove an alien from her womb, but didn’t plan it out outside some “Kewl” visuals.  And this is one of my problems was I was convinced this movie was going to be more than great visuals it was going to have some great new ideas.  Also the cut it made wouldn’t really screwed up her abdominal muscles. XD

          “yeah the characters were just assuming things but id rather we assume the alien who just killed a handful of humans wants to destroy earth than assume he doesnt let him go and he gets there a couple years and than destroys the human race. the theory is that jesus was an engineer and 2000 years ago the romans killed him, upset with the human race and the direction they were going the engineers were getting ready to wipe us out but something happend (xenomorphs?) and they destroyed themselves. someone else came up with the theory along with 5 or so pages of explanation. it was well thought out and very detailed analyzing the entire film. regardless theres apparently been an interview (i havnt seen it yet) where Ridley scott confirms that this is the case and he talks more in depth about it.”

          Well from that Jockey’s point of view he just woke up and 1st thing he sees is a smaller versions of himself yelling at each other one has a weapon and is striking another and one that is probably talking to you and saying some random gibberish that they think could be your langue!  And i’d hope that far in the future humans on Earth would probably respond to an aliens ship attacking.  It hopefully wouldn’t be an aliens hip shows up and starts dropping canisters and we wouldn’t respond in return!
          I prefer the idea the Jockeys were mistook for gods and Jesus was just another religious figure that may have been connected with aliens but he wasn’t the end all be all alien god.  I hate it in films were they strait up say that Christianity is right i’d liked it more if they revealed that the Hindu, the Norse gods, the Olympians, or Lovecraft was right the Jockey made all those deities!  
          Well actually i like the idea that they made us “Just because they could”  and when they realized how we were developing into a more advanced race like them the Jockey decided we might become dangerous and needed to be killed before we became a threat in the future.  Like how in most robots take over the world movies like Bladerunner we kill the machines that start to act too human.  Or the idea that they made humans as test subjects for their weapons and we’ve aged enough to be the proper point in our races growth and it’s time to test the Black-Death/Mutation/Ooze on us like how we make mice with a little bit of human DNA in them to test drugs and sometime chemical weapons on to see the effects!?  
          Any of those could’ve easily been shown to tell us what was going on!  I know everyone’s argument is good Sci-fi leaves you asking more questions than answers, but most of those question do have a half-assed answer somewhere like Alien in it we don’t know what happened on that planet and what’s up with that crashed Jockey ship but we are given enough context clues to take a wild guess.  It made it look pretty much like that ship was carrying some Xenomorph eggs and one of them hatched and a Face-Hugger mouth-raped the Jockey pilot and the Chest-Buster killed it and the ship crashed on that planet!  Or the Thing we’re left with the question of where the ship came from but we’re given enough clues to conclude it crashed and the alien crawled out and froze.  We didn’t learn why it crashed but it wasn’t important to the story, but here the reason for why they(the Jockeys) wanted to destroy humans was never explained or how we knew that was their plans!

          My biggest thing about this movie is simply this no one would’ve cared this much if not for 2 huge things.  1.) Ridley Scott and 2.) It is part of the Alien franchise!  If this movie was made by some unknown new comer and it had absolutely ZER0 connection to any movie franchise or pre-existing work of fiction it’d be forgotten and probably over looked as just another Sci-Fi horror film like (as I’ve mentioned in other post) “Super Nova”, “Sphere”, “Red Planet”, “The Abyss”, “Mission to Mars”, to a lesser extent “Ghost of Mars”, “Species”, “Pandorum”, as Spoony put it “Creature”.  It’s just another generic horror story set in space or in an environment that is alien or unknown or fully understood by humans.  If it wasn’t for the simple fact it got so hyped up to be this big new ground Hollywood never dared go before an it took this huge name in the field of directing to come in and make them allow this story to be told this movie’s plot and overall story would’ve just came and went with the flow like so many others like it. There’d been no long winded arguments over who’s right and wrong over weather it is a masterpiece or if it’s a piece of over hyped crap.  
          I still stand by my stance (and my mind isn’t changing) that this was beautifully shot film, but the story was a bad 90s sci-fi horror movie plot or an R-rated stretched out episode of a space exploration series like Star Trek.  I’ll even say this though if it wasn’t for the fact Blu-Rays are the only movie releases now coming with real bonus features I’d buy the DVD of this movie in the hopes there was possibly a few deleted scenes or a directors cut with hopefully an hour or more of character development as I was expecting more of a movie with this kind of hype than a bunch of Red-Shirts! So it does leave me curious enough to see if there is more to it than what it was! XD
          Also as most have said hopefully if this movie does make a lot of money(it for sure not going to make the billion dollar mark) but if it does make enough the studio is content enough to allow Scott free range again to make a sequel it should be a much more interesting movie and will be the big thing this movie should’ve been.  Well it’ll be interesting at least since the only “human” characters in it should be Noomi Rapace’s character and David the android(they maybe shouldn’t have killed all their Red Shirts so quickly).  So we should just get lots of exposure to the Jockeys and other alien beings hopefully! Even though the guy that played the Captain is signed on to reprise his role even though I don’t see how he’d survived being vaporized in a head on collision!? 
          So this movie in the long run to me at least(I will admit it unlike others my opinion isn’t law) will probably be the Terminator to a Terminator 2 Judgement Day style sequel it will hopefully spawn!

  • GrouchoVsTheVolcano
  • Christopher Arnold

    You forgot to mention the best part!

    Immediately after the alien surgery sequence, there’s a scene where Jesus Freak Girl is getting suited up to leave with Wayland and the others. David walks over to her as she’s getting her suit on and says, “I’m surprised you’re coming along with us. I didn’t think you had it in you…” and then he pauses and adds, “Might have been a poor choice of words.”

    The audience I was with cracked up at that line.

    • http://www.facebook.com/rmarchan Ryan Marchan

      you need to mature beyond name calling, sir. just because someone believes doesnt make them a jesus freak. Do you even know what a jesus freak is? thats like me calling everyone who says they dont believe in a god a militant atheist. 

      anyways on to your post. yes that line was meant to be funny, im glad you caught your and your theater have a sense of humor.

      its not a freaking Iphone. why would you need a password for something only you should have access to? i dont have a password to get into my closet just in case someone breaks into my house and decides they want to use my wardrobe. do you think the super rich password lock their toilets in case someone needs to take an emergency shit they dont want them using their toilet?

      what your doing is nitpicking to the extreme. even more than spoony. in fact youre the first person ive talked to that brought this up. how do you know it even has a password system? youre assuming things about a fictional technology. 

      • harry de bie

        christians are more militant than atheists so your arguments dont make sense jesus freak

        • http://www.facebook.com/rmarchan Ryan Marchan

          says the guy who just called a non-Christian a jesus freak. 

      • Christopher Arnold

         I was just using the name Spoony used for quick reference. I didn’t mean any offense and if I did offend, I apologize.

        As to the suite ‘not being a freaking iPhone’, you’re right. It’s not an iPhone. It’s a very expensive, extremely rare piece of surgical equipment. I would imagine that such technology would warrant some kind of password or thumbprint scanner in order to prevent people abusing the technology. Again, let’s imagine if immediately after Elizabeth had her incident, Weyland needed to use the device. They’d have to spend the next few minutes wiping down the machine and disposing of the bouncing baby Cthulhu before he could use it, at which point he’d most likely be dead.

        You say that I’m nit-picking, but what I’m really doing is just offering suggestions for what would have been better, more realistic ways of conveying basically the same information. If the purpose of the scene was to deny Elizabeth access to the machine, then simply having a password come up would have stopped her right there. If the purpose was to have her actually do the surgery, then having something popping up saying that she can’t only to let her do it anyway just seems like a waste of time and sloppy writing.

        • http://twitter.com/MammaJambas Yomommmmma

          Even spoony said sorry for saying “JesusFreak”, because that makes no sense.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=73600571 Shaun Knutsen

    Wow, you guys really WAILED on this movie. I didn’t think it was that bad.  Many points you bring up are valid (I.e. the two guy’s idiocy but that guy was played by Rafe Spall and he always plays idiots). But I guess I see so much stupidity in real life that seeing it on film was kinda refreshing. And you know what, forgive me if this sounds mean, but I will probably enjoy this movie even more next time I watch it knowing that you guys hated it. The idea that I could like something so hated makes me feel like less of a snob. Otherwise, you presented your thoughts very well and I can understand why this movie rubbed you the wrong way. 

    • JumpinPhillyPhlash

       They probably fell into the hype and were let down because of all the build-up it had. I liked it a-lot, but I also went in fresh (I only saw a preview in the theaters), so I didn’t have over-blown expectations.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Raymond-James/100002064823922 Raymond James

    they just didn’t want to show vagina for that surgery scene

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Lawrence-Vincent/100000153701576 Lawrence Vincent

      Cesarians don’t involve vagina.

  • http://twitter.com/DXU James Ward

    I keep hearing about the helmet scene.  I’ve only seen it once so I may not be remembering it correctly but when Holloway is going to take his helmet off isn’t everyone else telling him NOT to do it and just follow procedure and be safe?  Holloway’s character is ultra eager and he’s cutting corners all over the place because he wants his answers.  When they first land the Captain suggests waiting until the next day before checking out the mound but he’s like “no we go now. It’s Christmas and I want to open my presents.”  He had a belief in his mind that everything would be alright and they were “invited” to come so he’s willing to put his life on the line for his beliefs.  This goes hand in hand with both Shaw and Holloway’s characters as scientists with far out ideas powered by their controversial belief in God-aliens. 

    I got all of that by just watching the movie once.  It makes sense.  Not sure why lots of people are missing it.

    • http://twitter.com/Ann__Helen Ann-Helen

       Then why did all of them take their helmets off? “Oh, he didn’t die right away, so that makes it safe!”? …. Come on.

  • Pinup Ghoul

    After mulling it over for 72 hours (I saw it Friday in Imax 3D), I’ve decided that I didn’t like Prometheus very much. I like the art direction and set design (Geiger hoooo!) but the plot seemed like what would happen if Erich von Daniken (of ‘Chariots of the Gods’ fame) wrote ‘Aliens’ fanfiction, and it was somehow made into a really pretty movie with idiot characters.

    I’ll admit some bias on my part, as my deep hatred of von Daniken and his alien-apologist ilk has definitely spoiled my ability to enjoy movies like this one. But the characters were idiots. And Ridley Scott has some pretty crazy intimacy issues, I think.

  • devilkat

    wow what a shock the douche bag and the pig hated something others like because they are just to simple to understand things. what dumb fucks why do you morons defend this retard and his pig brother when they are obviously to stupid to look past just the images on the screen and read the subtext and nuances in movies. for fucks sake people quit being sheep and think for yourselves

    • Chris Letz

      Ha, YOU’RE defending the big-name Hollywood director when everyone else is standing up for the average-joe reviewers, and you have the nerve to call THEM sheep? Go fuck yourself, you hypocritcal scumfuck.

    • evilguyinsuit


      Oh. You seriously think this movie has subtext or nuance.

      Yeah, they yell out their themes at every opportunity, and their questions are a long way from profound. The only thing the duo didn’t get were some of the continuity points that the movie doesn’t outright tell you… which isn’t the worst move you could make, but the movie shouldn’t require analysis just to understand the plot. Even Memento doesn’t require that.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_OU7Z4DKACDRDJNH4E42XNZUJYI Calbeck

       Please, DO go on.  I find the froth dribbling from your lower lip to be rather…

      …ENTICING. -:D

  • devilkat

    oh yeah and someone tell this idiot that god damned dog is annoying , just because scarlet left his sorry ass and this animal is the only thing that will show him affection doesnt mean anyone else wants to see the mangy fucking thing.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ICDHG7TLTN6JVK6JMK3TKQFXKQ Mike Wallace

      Huh. Someone’s mom just took away his PS3…

    • Chris Letz

      Jesus, dude, you really need to take that stick out of your ass. You’ve got more pent-up rage than a paranoid schizophrenic who just downed a bottle of PCP!

      • devilkat

        just so sick of all these people taking spoonys word as gospel just look I get flagged fr pointing out his stupidity.

  • http://www.facebook.com/frauen1 Frank Rauen

    I have to ask does anybody here read interviews? Ridley Scott made it abundantly clear in interviews he did before the movie came out that there were going to be lingering questions, it was a semi-prequel to Alien not a full one, and he even talked about the fact that he wanted to start a new franchise and not just make supplemental material for Alien. Also Holloway and Shaw were scientists, but they were archaeologists, they study cultures and artifacts from past cultures and they are also christian, bordering on creationists. It makes sense that they would put say they believe a site is there rather than showing hard evidence since it would be impossible to get hard evidence from the site before the trillion dollars is put into the program. Science and Scientists are not just a single entity, it is a creature with many limbs, many faces, and many personalities. It seems like Spoony and his brother expected the scientists to be archetypal which some of them were and the ones that were were the worst written characters. I have said before that this movie isn’t perfect, it isn’t written as well as Alien and there aren’t as many memorable characters, but the feel is very Alien like, the characters that are good are really good, and the world is immersive. I also like that Scott respects the audience to have patience by leaving some questions unanswered for another movie. This also sets him in a tough spot to were if he doesn’t deliver on the next film than it will degrade the first Prometheus. I respect that this is a film for adults, and that Scott is trying to build and gigantic new world with an all new mythos and understands that some of the audience is patient and willing to allow a lot of time to be taken to build this new universe. Currently I’d give the movie an 8/10 because I was interested the entire time, It is shot beautifully, and most of the main characters worked (besides Charlize Theron). That being said if the next movie doesn’t advance this world or provide at least some substantial answers like what the black goo was or why there was a xenomorph on the wall, or just answer enough to whet my appetite than the score for Prometheus will probably drop to a 4/10. 

    • dsutty

      Actually Holloway wasn’t religious and archaeologists use scientific methodology in the same way that scientists in other disciplines do. That is that they base their conclusions on the evidence they find in the ground not on faith or wild speculation. Well at least the good ones do – hence why Shaw might reasonably be called the ‘worst scientist ever‘. You think that making what was, and is at this time, a stand alone film (albeit part of the Alien canon) that doesn’t have a payoff at the end is Scott showing respect for his audience? How do you know Scott is building anything, there’s no future ‘Alien’ films been announced as far as I know and in a recent interview for Esquire Magazine Scott suggests that his next project will be – of all things – a biopic about Moses (yes the biblical one, I honestly wonder whether Scott is actually going insane in his old age)! And your ultimate judgement about Prometheus hangs on your opinion of an as yet, unmade future film? You’re not an ancestor of Dr Elizabeth Shaw are you?

      • http://www.facebook.com/frauen1 Frank Rauen

        Did you not read the part were I said that my rating of the movie is tentative. If the Prometheus universe is dropped altogether or the next movie sucks than my rating of the movie is going to drop as well. I’m being hopeful that it will be followed up on because I’m being optimistic about the direction the next film will go. And yes Archaeologists are scientists and they follow the universal scientific methodology but the majority of their work is field work. You can’t drag a site or a feature back to a lab like biologists and geologists can do to their work. Granted you can bring back artifacts which is exactly what they were doing when they grabbed the Engineers head. And the respect is because Scott expects (for lack of a better word) the audience to be patient with the creation of a universe. Unlike how you seem to be portraying yourself I don’t assume that a film is shit and can raise itself to good, I do it the opposite way, the only films I purposefully avoid are the ones that have zero interest to me. I really liked Prometheus as a movie by itself for many reasons. I liked the overall look of the film, I enjoyed the new mythos, I did like the overall plot, and I did like the questions about faith and creation posed in it. I have said before that the dialogue at points could be under par and that the characterization wasn’t the best but I watch movies mainly for plot. Character development enriches the plot and there were about five characters I remember from the film so it wasn’t awful in the character department in my opinion. I prefer an interesting plot with standard characters to a vice versa situation. Vice versa you get Scott Pilgrim which I have made clear I absolutely hate because the story came off as stupid to me mostly because his pursuit of Ramona Flowers seems stupid to me because Knives is more appealing (if she was older obviously). And finally no my opinion of Prometheus doesn’t hinge on the performance of another movie entirely, by that logic I would like Breaking Dawn. The universe created in Prometheus was interesting and immersive to me. If it wasn’t I wouldn’t give a fuck about the future of the franchise. And the reason the final rating rests on other films is because if the answers to the questions posed in the first one are are non-sensical, insulting, or are never brought up again than it will obviously taint the first movie, like how the Star Wars prequels tainted the originals in my eyes. Is it the best sci-fi film ever, no. But I enjoyed the film, if you didn’t than that is fine because your dislike of the movie isn’t going to sway my opinion.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Penelope-Quail/100003001638230 Penelope Quail

    This review was so idiotic.
    I can’t even go over how many things Sponny got wrong in this.  Holy F*&k

    • MediaGold

           I like Spoony and Miles (great to see Miles after months!), but yeah, this review is just embarrassing.  They’re like a couple of Rock Hudsons stumbling through the aisle in the middle of 2001 yelling “Will someone tell us what the hell this is about!?”     

      • http://twitter.com/matthewrayson Matthew Rayson

        Not as embarrassing as Prometheus http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=prometheus_nutshell Maddox says it best

        • MediaGold

             Did I just enter a time warp?  Is it 1999 all over again?  Am I on AOL and is my 28.8 bps modem screeching away?  Someone just didn’t post a link to the messiah of angry 13 year old boys circa 2000?  So if I post a counter opinion, say like the 4 star one given by the world’s most popular movie reviewer, will that nullify your point?  Will we trade links back and forth like dueling banjos Deliverance style?

               Maddox!  Ha!  Now I’m just embarrassed for you. 

          • MikeBester

             If you need ammo: http://www.thecinemasnob.com/

            He not only liked the movie, but made a second video were he made fun of the people nitpicking it to death.

            Cosidering Brad is like Spoonys BFF…

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=696559890 Jimmy Vestberg

        Basically any intelligent being will ask that question. I.e “what the hell is this about?”

    • Bobbins_McGee

      I wouldn’t say it was idiotic, but I don’t think they got the movie at all. I think they were expecting the wrong thing if they went in seeing it as a full on prequel to Alien rather than a separate story that could have some links to the original movies which might further be embellished in future movies. But hey, it’s their opinion and we’re all entitled to our own.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=696559890 Jimmy Vestberg

      This fuckup of a script from the bowels of hell deserves everything it gets. The review pointed out the problems with the story and the massive plotholes. So to call it idiotic is just idiotic! 

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Penelope-Quail/100003001638230 Penelope Quail

    Shaw was NOT a Christian.. she is a Deist.  She never mentions anything specifically Christian.  The cross represented her father and the concept faith, as she grew around many.  Her faith was about finding her ancient alien watchmakers.  At the end she wants to know why they wanted to destroy their creations.  

    • http://www.facebook.com/frauen1 Frank Rauen

      You may be right. I even called her a christian but that was just because of the cross.

    • MediaGold

          That’s a good point, I hadn’t thought of that!  She is a pretty passionate about her Deism though, which is weird considering how impersonal the Deist god is.  Maybe she has daddy issues and the Deist god is essentially a dead beat dad.  Maybe that’s why she wants to track them down at the end, to collect 200,000+ years in back child support!        

    • Matrim

      If you want to go only by what the movie gives us, she is neither a deist nor a Christian, she’s a poorly written character. She gives absolutely no indication what she believes. It is likely she is a Christian, but she never says anything beyond some vague faithy things. It’s possible she is a deist, but again we are never given any sort of insight into her theology. And yet she seems a little too strident for a deist, at least to me. My money is on Christian, but again she was poorly fleshed out, so who knows.

  • http://www.facebook.com/het.nic Nic De Houwer

    david didn’t have a clear agenda spoony. he didn’t.

  • TerminalSanity

    I have mixed feelings about this film: its sci-fi elements are interesting if not effective even though they ultimately don’t go much of anywhere in terms of advancing a narrative. The horror elements are just insulting towards both the audience and the characters (most of which are scantly developed)the too scientists who got separated being the most unbelievable and unconvincing examples of this, not only is the manner in which they were separated contrived as all hell but to have the “expert” biologist practically poke a space snake in the face especially after having wisely gone out of his way to avoid the life signs being detected is just inconsistent and idiotic way past the point of incredulity. It quite literally makes more sense for every other character in the entire movie to do that kind of crap. In fact there’s glaring lack of of any characters actually making any real attempt to really analyze the biology of anything they encounter in any meaningful fashion despite clearly having every reason not to mention the tools to do so.

    In the larger scope of the Alien universe about the only things we learn are that the space jockeys created humanity for reasons unknown and apparently created the xenomorphs as well seemingly to serve as bio-weapons, then decided to destroy humanity 2000 years ago for some reason using xenomorhs/the bio-weapon technology from they were derived from to do so, only surprise, surprise using bio-weapons which their by nature are difficult to control blew up in their face possibly causing the downfall of their massive interstellar and apparently billions of years old civilization.(I guess the space jockeys are just as moronic as Waylan industries and just had to develop weapons that they had no means of controlling to use on…….stuff)

    • Shaughn Cameron

      I should probably mention that the Xenomorphs were not exclusively created as a bioweapon. They’re a result of the black liquid, the same substance which was used to create humanity. Depending on how it’s used, it can have different results. It can be used to create, or destroy. Much like the Genesis device it destroys what it touches, but creates something new. It seems that 2000 years ago, the Engineers planned to use it on us, but as Prometheus showed, it has a way of getting out of hand.

      • TerminalSanity

         I don’t know about that. The black liquid, in the ship seemed to have been clearly developed for weaponized purposes every single organism derived from it was highly aggressive and violent. And based off the mural in the jar room the Space Jockeys they knew Xenomorphs would be the end result of the black liquid in the jars and honestly I can’t really see any other purpose of developing Xenomorphs aside as serving as bioweapons and it seemed that they were prepared to use them accordingly and took the precaution of developing them off their home world.

        While I think its safe to assume that the black liquid in the opening scene was based off the same biotech as the black liquid on the ship I don’t think there’s much cause to believe that they were made serve the exact same function especially since they didn’t really do same thing: the black liquid on earth jump started life on earth and apparently sent it on a vaguely predetermined course by tearing apart the Space Jockey to its most basic biological elements, the black liquid on the ship on the other hand turned whatever it came into contact with into fully formed violent aggressive organisms that spawned other violent aggressive organisms.

    • http://twitter.com/Cynicalfel Michael Baker

      I liked it better when it was the Predators who created the xeno’s as the perfect hunting challenge. Seems a bit simpler and less convoluted.

  • http://twitter.com/Jesseraygarza Jesse Garza

    I saw the movie over 4 hours ago, and I agree with this review and everything… But even so, I still like the movie for some strange reason… I have no idea why, i just kind of do…

    • MediaGold

           Glad to see you have free will!        

      • Renjick

         A bit of a defense crusade aren’t you?


  • http://twitter.com/Zachrid ZachSeinBlog

    To make a long story short: I am convinced that the script was rewritten for so many times until it became that what Prometheus is now. It feels a bit like they had a good draft in the first place, but then added a bunch of ideas that sounded awesome on their own. Then they probably tried to make some kind of coherent story out of these set-pieces and their initial idea… and ultimately strung them together by making the characters act like morons. 

    I really can see an executive popping into the room and saying something like (SPOILER!) “Shaw could become pregnant, WITH A DALEK!”, or “Make the Android evil and infect another crew member!” or “The Engineers want to destroy mankind, because…” or “Hey you know that black goo from the X-Files…?” or “What if Weyland was on board, and it is his plan to meet the Engineers all along!”

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jesse-Melat/1331583316 Jesse Melat

      Either that, or Lindelof just turned in a rough outline and they ran with it, or were forced to.  

  • Stephen Chapman

    I havn’t watched the whole video yet, nor am I going to read through the comments, but I assumed (after the movie was over) that the medical capsul was calibrated for male patients because of Wayland being onboard secretly. Correct?

  • Charles Adams

    The medical unit is meant for Wayland, NOT his daughter.

    • Matrim

       He mentions that, still doesn’t make it less stupid…especially since she more-or-less wants her father dead.

      • Kyle stauffacher

        It obviously wasn’t her decision to put it in the ship.

  • AceOfShades

    Yeah, I really thought that going back to Science-Fiction would really help Ridley Scott get back to his roots, but he’s just not the film-maker he used to be…Although it seems most of the problems with this film seem to be with the script.

  • rudy023

    Brad Jones just put up a video where he mocks people that nitpick this movie.  He seems to really like it, so maybe it’s time to do a crossover video where the two of you fight over it.  Kung Ti Ted vs. Dr. Insano in a Street Fighter style fight might work….

  • http://www.facebook.com/amintypony Chloe Bolton

    Yay, awkward cissexist jabs.

  • OliviaJohnson

    YES. I’m glad this vlog exists. I went opening day to see this movie and KNEW it would only be “okay”. But goddamn! It was like a complete slap in the face for Alien fans.

  • David_Dennings

    This would be one of my favourite Vlogs ever if it wasn’t for Oreo. So annoying, I’m sorry.

  • http://profiles.google.com/piecewise66 brad newby

    You do see the geologist again, he’s the contorted zombie, not the main lady’s boyfriend. 

    • Matrim

       Everyone I know who’s seen it thought it was the boyfriend…I can’t recall if they clarified that point or not, but if they did it was an insufficient job.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000065433429 Sam Pagano

        They called it the geologists name and it had his weird haircut so id say its that dude. 

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Lawrence-Vincent/100000153701576 Lawrence Vincent

          I never caught anyone’s name in that movie. (except shaw and david) because you only spend like 5 minutes with them before the die.

          • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000065433429 Sam Pagano

            I think it was his name atleast (in the very least it wasnt the other dude).

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Rowan-Anderson/691192822 Rowan Anderson

    Spoony, I love you, seriously. I have just come back from seeing Prometheus and, even after an hours rant on the phone to my friend telling them why they shouldn’t see it, I was still raging and dissapointed. Watching you and Miles pick this piece of crap film apart was catharsis!
    I love all your vids and can’t wait for more Ultima 9 and BETRAYAL!
    ps: Oreo is a real cutie!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Erik-Raith/624186170 Erik Raith

    the male surgical suite could possibly be there for weyland(old one) rather than a nice healthy young woman.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=696559890 Jimmy Vestberg

    I believe David was trying to become a creator of life in a way, by introducing the compound to the crew he wanted to see the endresult.

  • http://twitter.com/ArgorokX RagnarokX

    Vickers didn’t have enough time to run to the lifeboat.  They popped the lifeboat off and she used an escape pod to get to it.

  • http://www.doppelgangershow.wordpress.com/ Mike P

    Just came back from it and had to watch this when I got home. Fuuuuuck.

    Y’know, the second time they go in, to find the two who got lost, they found the stoner geologist (Which I’m sure it was him as the helmet was destroyed and melted from the acid) and he was the one who came to the ship as that weird ball who attacked everyone. That makes me ask – Where did the guy with the glasses go? He was deepthroated by the big alien penis but his body was not in the room. The fuck?!

    Also, why would they go back once they knew bad shit was happening? I didn’t like Alien but at least it wasn’t stupid! Just… Fuck!

    • http://twitter.com/DXU James Ward

       I thought it was the other way round.  They can’t find stoner guy but they find a body that has Alien penis living in it’s head.  When stoner guy gets back to the ship his doesn’t have a hole anymore so I assumed the guy they first found was glasses guy.  Also, they don’t know bad things are happening they just know that the 2 guys that stayed there the night are not answering their comms gear.  Could be a malfunction.  Work crews do help each other out from time to time.  Not very realistic leaving behind some of your workers in a minesite/cave if they got lost or their equipment malfunctions.

      • http://www.doppelgangershow.wordpress.com/ Mike P

        No, they found stoner guy – The one they found in the room had his helmet destroyed, which is what happened to stoner guy with the acid. Glasses guy had the penis-vagina hybrid alien go in through a sleeve rip. Stoner guy most likely got rid of his helmet when he… became that ball thing (Wow, vauge words a-plenty), although I recall him still having it when he attacked the ship.

        And when they went back to the cave the THIRD time they knew bad shit was happening there, that’s what I was referring too. And even before that they saw the holograms of them running from something. I can excuse their second visit as they probably had some humanity and wanted to save their crewmates, but the third time? Stupid.

        • Sharkman_Jhones

           No, Stoner guy was the one who attacked the ship later, he had a really specific name: Fifield.  The guy they found in the chamber was Millburn, the glasses guy.

  • http://www.facebook.com/adam.dork Adam Dork

    The returning person who attacks the crew at the ship was Fifield. They opened the door cause they saw FiField’s camera by the ship so they open it to find him since they didnt ever know what happened to him.

  • http://www.facebook.com/adam.dork Adam Dork

    They found the glasses dude who got killed by the snake. Stoner/Fifield they didn’t find and came back to ship to attack.

  • nmwelsh

    I like to refer to this movie as Alien 0: In Space No One has heard of OSHA or Basic Laboratory Safety.

    Really the Space Jockey weapons facility is like a anthrax lab, but instead of keeping the anthrax in sealed rooms and sturdy containers you put your anthrax in the bomb you are going to use to disperse it, arm the bomb, than put in the middle of the floor for people to trip over.

    This is supposed to be a research facility, full of the smartest alien weapons scientists and they create the most unsafe work environment imaginable to house face raping space bugs.

    The humans are retards that stick their faces into fleshy things they don’t know fuck about. But the Space Jockeys know what they are dealing with and still do everything in their power to ensure they get infected by this shit.

    Protip: RKVs and nuking shit from orbit is always better than bioweapons, cheaper, and less likely to rape your face.


    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jesse-Melat/1331583316 Jesse Melat

      I agree.   It should have been called “Dude Don’t Touch That!!  The Movie”

  • MikeBester

    That fucking dog is annoying. Do you have only one room in your house? Does it really has to jump around and do annoying noises during your reviews?

    • http://twitter.com/Cynicalfel Michael Baker

       Since the dog is in nearly every review Spoony’s ever done, perhaps he should just stop making reviews, because, heck, the dog annoys you now.

      • Merost

        Wow you are retarted as fuck. “Every review ever done”? HE HAS THE FUCKING THING FOR NOT EVEN A YEAR.

    • PeaTearGryfin

       Like I said earlier, putting small dogs in other rooms while something is going on is a really bad idea. They tend to get really restless and start trying to scratch their way out. Honestly, Oreo would probably be more of a distraction in another room as opposed to on the couch.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000065433429 Sam Pagano

      Its a terrible idea to do that, Oreo would make more noise if it heard spoony screaming and raging but couldnt see what was up with him than if she was in the room (or even just able to reach him), dogs dont like being left alone and they especially dont like being left alone while their masters are potentially in danger.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1117315524 Toaster Tom


    I, begrudgingly, have to agree with a lot of points Spoony and Miles made. Although I did enjoy the film. The cesarian scene could have been handled much better. The idea that the pod can’t be calibrated for male or female on a whim is pretty stupid. I can see that it was meant to be a clue that Weyland is on board but it just ended up looking like the machine was a piece if crap and/or created a pointless artificial suspense.

    David’s motivations, I originally thought, were to make a xenomorph for Weland Corp since, like it or not, AvP is in canon and that took place some 90 years prior. That kind of falls apart though since all Weyland wants is to meet the engineers and he is even on board the ship. Unless it was actually Vicors who wanted it being his daughter (apparently) and wanted it for when she took over the company. Either way, it is never explained in the film itself so it’s a fail no matter how you look at it.

    I can however see why the crew would be so sparse. This is a privately funded science expedition to an alien world that they know nothing about and they need to spend 2 years in hypersleep to even get there. You’re not going to get many “qualified” people to sign up for that, all things considered. At last I would think. And maybe PMCs (Private Military Contractors) probably aren’t a thing yet in this timeline. Meh, who knows.

    The no guns thing that is brought up several times throughout the movie I agree is dumb. And so is the subplot with the two jerkoffs who get lost. Their whole story arc is retarded. Not necessarily pointless, but retarded for all the reasons they stated and more.

    The engineer going nuts at the end I could reason is because he is delirious after 35K years and it trying to carry out a long overdue mission of testing their bioweapon on their “test clones” on Earth. But why he is going out of his way to kill Shaw after she flees is a bit puzzling. Why would he bother? Just go! She isn’t leaving the planet @TerminalSanity:disqus
    nytime soon. Granted, I know at the end she yada yada yada. But he doesn’t know that. So maybe he’s being thorough? 

    Basically, this movie is entertaining but flawed. Mostly due to underdeveloped plot points and other plot points that are unnecessary or idiotic. I wouldn’t say don’t go see it though. It’s not that bad. I say it’s worth your time if you’re a fan of the franchise. Ironically I would say the film is an okay Alien movie but a pretty poor scifi movie. If that makes any sense.   


    • Matrim

       “like it or not, AvP is in canon”

      Not anymore it’s not. That’s one thing I really loved about this film, and it’s the first thing I said after walking out of the theater, that this movie totally contradicts AvP canon. Yay for discontinuity!

      Also it wasn’t 35K years, it was 2000 (at least that’s how long the beheaded engineer had been dead, I assume they all came from about the same time).

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=420857 Jeff Gnerre

    Spoony, just want to say, I’m a huge fan, but I commonly hate your movie reviews because they usually are overly negative, but you really nailed it with this movie.  I was really disappointed with this movie.  Excellent review, I can’t believe this movie has received such praise.  The film is beautiful, but the script is lazy.  It plays like fan fiction, the character motivations make no sense, dozens of ideas are introduced and never explained, the sheer incompetence of every single crew member on board made me angry, there was no suspense.  Everything that was great about the first Alien is absent here.  I should have known better when I saw Damen Lindelof, creator of Lost, attached to this program.  Just like Lost, they introduce ideas they think are interesting, but have no idea how to tie them together or how to explain them sufficiently.

  • nmwelsh

    Alright Spoony one thing I think you have a misconception of how Abrahamic religions see aliens. And I as a geologist will tell you that no faith or lack thereof in the supernatural can interfere with the scientific method. The action of gods by definition is supernatural, hence is not objectively observable if it does exist. Indeed since any supernatural force by necessity exists outside causality, and the result of any supernatural action will appear to be the result of the progression of natural phenomena.

    That’s why Christianity in particular and Abrhamic and Chinese monotheism in general doesn’t have a single problem with evolution or any other process by which the human species could arise unless they are a literalist, and literalism is actually highly anti-traditional and a post 1800 phenomena in Protestantism. The Catholic and Orthodox Churches for instance specifically support the possibility of aliens.

    So if aliens where revealed to exist or even have created humanity, it would be seen by the vast majority of Christianity as merely the process by which God’s will acts upon the physical world, no different from evolution really. Both the alien action or evolution would be natural phenomena and under the perview of what gods there may be.

    For me personally the existence of a progenitor race or aliens at all would not change my position on aliens at all.  I think they must all be exterminated, this including a precursor race. I do not value sapience, sentient, happiness, for emotions. I only value the survival of my family line and species at all cost. 

    Hence I would wipe out unrelated aliens or aliens that created humanity with the same zeal. For only humanity can rule the universe, see the pastebin in my last post. I consider this the only viable survival strategy given the supposition of intelligent extraterritorial life. I find the concept of sharing with another species as equals basely offensive to my human supremacist attitude. And I consider it a divine mandate to conquer the cosmos.

    Purge the Xenos! The Emperor protects!

    But that last bit is just my opinion and is in fact antithetical to most sentiment if have heard from any religious sect. I just really hate aliens and refuse to treat with them, I am 100% speciesist.

    • Shaughn Cameron

      As a member of one of these Xeno-filth, I imagine I would be more at odds with the previous sentiment, but I find myself in agreement. I’m a fairly staunch anti-theaist, but even I can see this. There are plenty of reputable scientists who will openly battle creationism, yet still consider themselves to be religious. Ken Miller comes to mind. Granted, not all sects can be as forward thinking, so sadly it’s never a sure thing.

      Anyway, well said. All hail the Great Father.

    • http://twitter.com/totem91 Μεταλλεργάτερ

      “Purge the Xenos! The Emperor protects!” really? The neonazi line from Warhammer 40k?

      Oh, and fyi, there’s an awesome video called “How to tell you’re an atheist”.Because you sound like one.I agree that science and faith are not mutually exclusive. Science and religion are though. Sorry to tell ya, but if you believe in a specific dogma and the scientific method, then you’re not very loyal to your religion.

      • nmwelsh

        Ahahah, not neo-nazis, catholic spess nazis. Also in WH40k every species are assholes, every single one, that’s the whole point of the setting.

        Look man intelligent life is extremely dangerous to all other life, http://pastebin.com/66qntM33. I frankly don’t think there is any other intelligent life in this galaxy, because if they have been around for more than a million years we would not have come to exist at all. And the chances of two intelligent species developing withing 1 million years of each other is pretty slim.

        All I want to do is commit pan-cosmic xenocide and suddenly I’m the “bad guy” here.

        believe in a specific dogma and the scientific method, then you’re not very loyal to your religion.
        My MS, religiosity, and research methodology classes bespeak otherwise. Really man according to the PEW survey by the federal government the majority of scientists under 30 profess religiously. Science and religion have no fundamental conflict because the literally have nothing to do with each other.

        • Matrim

           Yeah…except the whole non-overlapping magisteria thing has issues. I especially love your hand-waving away of supernatural affecting the natural by stating that it would simply appear to be of natural means because…you know…midi-chlorians. If you really want to get pedantic, the supernatural cannot exist because if something exists it is part of nature.

          Then again, I don’t know how serious you’re being, your xenophobia and 40K references make me think less rather than more…

  • Ruiner

    I have to admit while at first I was bit apprehensive but now I am truly thankful for all the Prometheus naysayers. Seriously you guys have made my appreciation for this film sky rocket. Without your complaints I would have missed the same things you all did, and probably also place the blame on the film as opposed to myself for missing details.    THANK YOU!

    • http://www.facebook.com/Moatz007 Jason Moatz

      There’s a difference between missing details and no logical answers being given and thus people are forced to pull answers out of their asses.

  • Matrim

     Except for the fact that essentially everything they pointed out was a problem with the film, not a problem with the film being part of the Alien franchise…

  • Matrim

     I don’t think he was saying “See! Maddox says it’s bad so it must be bad!” He was saying “this says pretty much how I feel and it says it well.” Cool strawman, though.

  • Matrim

     I think the problem is that he was being laughably stupid. And did you miss the part in the review when they mentioned the fact that they were telling him not to?

    • Shaughn Cameron

      He’s ignoring them for a reason. He’s under orders from Weyland figure out how the Engineer’s technology works. That’s expressed several times, such as when Weyland tells him to try harder, which prompts him to test the black liquid on Halloway. Until he is no longer under Weyland’s orders, David has no intention of following the orders of the other crew members, not even Vickers.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Antony-Cannon/100000532669547 Antony Cannon

    How is the android’s agenda clear? What IS the android’s agenda? Is it whatever Wayland’s plan was? Didn’t he just want to meet the engineers to ask them to save his life? How does infecting crew members with aliens in any way achieve this goal? Doesn’t that actually jeopardize the mission? What was his plan?

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Joe-Ottoson/100000693361189 Joe Ottoson

       I think David was just seeing if the alien goo had any beneficial properties. He went and infected that one guy immediately after talking to Wayland.

      His solution to “Try harder!”

      • http://www.facebook.com/Moatz007 Jason Moatz

        So… rather than doing something smart like testing it on a small sample of human DNA his first action is to get one of the key scientists to drink it AND THEN not even make sure the guy is being isolated and carefully watched? Is David really THAT stupid?
        “Try harder.” “I know! I’ll infect a scientist with this stuff no one knows anything about! BRILLIANT!” -.-

  • http://twitter.com/PenHellbourne Tim Edgren

    when you mentioned syringes I was thinking Star Wars KOTOR XD

  • Akim Vasiliev

    Syringes reminded me of Far Cry 2, heh.

    Just saw the movie yesterday in the theatre. The movie was pretty hilarious, but here in Russia in the dubbed version, it sort of lampshaded (unwittingly probably) its own shittiness  in a line of dialogue near the beginning – one of the characters says something about “getting close to the Final Destination”, which made me think that this would turn into a funny movie with lots of stupid deaths and guess what? That’s what it turned out to be!

    Overall disappointing.

  • goodguya

     I’d like to imagine Lance Henrikson getting the role, sparking thousands of websites on the internet decoding the meaning behind the relation. Unfortunately that’s not what happened.

  • anneberry

    know a lot of people didn’t dig it, but I loved it. There were a
    lot of interesting and thought provoking themes running through this
    movie, and whether people just missed them, or didn’t like them, I don’t

    (p.s. It’s about creators hating their creations, and creations
    hating their creators, because the faults we hate in others, are
    inevitably in us. i.e. — david<Weyland
    — humans<Space Jockeys

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Nash-Knight/740228999 Nash Knight

      Sooo, did the Engineers create chimps also? All the primates? Lemurs? Damn it I want answers! 

      • anneberry

         It seemed like the movie was saying, they pretty much jump started evolution (demonstrated in the very first scene). So in effect, yeah, they created or at least started all life on Earth, that would include the lemurs :) Just obviously, we diverged in evolution away from the lemurs, and evolved more closer to the Engineers genes 

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Joe-Ottoson/100000693361189 Joe Ottoson

    The critique kinda fails when you two flat out don’t pay attention to the movie.  David was back dream talking to someone in stasis. Charlize wanted to know what he’d told David. There’s only one person who’s comments would make her that jumpy. (Even before you find out that she’s his daughter.) The guy who funded the expedition.

    The suite with the autodoc wasn’t really hers. It was prepped to support the rich dude when he awakened from stasis. This is also supported by the scientist lady’s comment when she sees it the first time. “This is set for heart surgery…”

    It also wasn’t the dude that got torched that was causing mutant problems in the hangar bay. That was the stoner Seamus looking dude.

    • http://www.youtube.com/thefaustianman Faust

       Joe, would you mind letting me know your thoughts on the film? I am curious to hear, as you have really paid attention to the film. Thanks in advance.

  • John Sauco

    Alright, I’m just going to throw this out there, but aliens wouldn’t disprove the idea of God as a christian would see him. Check this shit out:
      Genesis is not a textbook of how God created the human race. In fact, there are two creation myths in Genesis; chapters one and two are different creation myths.  The fact that God didn’t reach some hand down and sculpt a bunch of dirt into a person isn’t a big game changer. The point of Genesis, and the whole old testament, is more that God cares about his creations. It’s a story told to primitive peoples, sheepherders and carpenters. It was written down, and then passed down to us, where we do know better than that. We need to ask ourselves the point of the story, not blindly accept it as truths.

  • Damir Pintar

    Spoony, spoony, spoony. You utterly missed the point of the movie. I mean… phew.

    I will now blow your mind, and from this point on this will be the best movie you ever watched.

    Ready? Here it goes…

    The entire moon was a space drug plantation. And it’s such a great drug you only need to get near the moon to get completely stoned and retarded, and it even works on robots and machines. And the cave pictures were basically “hey, come here, great party dudes!” How could you miss this? They even cast Stringer Bell and you missed it completely, geez!

    So there. Prometheus explained. Every question answered. Yes, I know, I’m welcome.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/BLVXCVZCUBCZIAWIC3K5UCOXRM Colonel

    Spoony has announced on Twitter that his psychological problems have increased again. Hes not able to get out of his depression.

    I really think thats the reason for why his newer videos dont seem as
    good as his old ones, you just notice he hasnt as much fun doing it as
    he used to. In the old videos he just seemed more lively, more

    Spoony should maybe just quit reviewing for a while completly, and just trying to fix his problems.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jesse-Melat/1331583316 Jesse Melat

    Ridley Scott recently put forth a sort of answer on the topic of why the Engineers wanted to kill us: We killed Jesus.  Yes, Jesus was an Engineer, come to check on our progress.  

    We killed Space Jesus.  Look it up, I ain’t lying.   Space Jesus.    This is  the reason for the 2000 year number, this is why they stopped coming to advise us.   We killed Space Jesus.  

    • http://boorat.deviantart.com/#/d4c9c3t William “BooRat” Blackshire

      Oh Cthulhu, I hope he’s just trolling people because there’s gotta be something better than Space Jesus!  Why can’t it be Space Muhammad, or Space Moses, or Space Buddha, or Space some religion that doesn’t exist anymore like one of the other many mythologies?  

  • Sam Whippy

    The Medical robot was really there for Guy Pearces charecter, incase he had a medical imergancy on the ship. Becouse he’s apparently ancient and sickly.

    Look, I don’t want to start an argument or anything but I think religius people would say that her surviving the giant alien ship crash on top of her is a mirical. They do it all the time when natural desasters and such hit. Faith can be really hard to shake.

  • Ricky_V

    I actually thought there were some things to be liked here in Prometheus; I liked the mystery that the movie was building up to (but eventually disappointed the heck out of me), the world where the events take place is quite fascinating and there were like three characters who I found likable.

    But yea, the ending is frustrating, a ton questions are left unanswered (like why that stoner douche bag was turned into this superpowered freak instead of just falling apart like all those other people who were subjected to the black ooze??) and most of the characters are there just to die. And here I was expecting so much more from this… 

    • http://www.youtube.com/thefaustianman Faust

       There is a joke amongst the scientific community, many lay do not understand. However, it was nice to see Scott “getting it”. Among the scientific disciplines there are the ones which we (as I am a scientist) have tremendous respect for: Physicians, mathematicians, and those who study physics. The absolute bottom are: Pychologists, Computer Scientists, Geologists, and lastly Biologists. Biologists have always been the “New Jersey” of the scientific community.

      However, I am sure this goes with any field, or subculture and could not solely be related to science. At least for the film; vis a vis.

      • http://www.facebook.com/frauen1 Frank Rauen

        Maybe that is why Spoony is pissed at this movie. I think someone mentioned that he has a degree in computer science so maybe that is why he was offended. Just curious were do Archaeologists fall in the pecking order? In college it always seemed that they had a lot of respect from other science teachers.

        • http://www.youtube.com/thefaustianman Faust

          As an archaeologist, and to be brutally honest, it’s not what it used to be. I would say Archaeology can fall between a second tier or bottom of the top – if the work is groundbreaking. However, the History channel (“Ancient Aliens” or “The Naked Archeologist” who’s is not an archeologist) is really hurting the professional opinion of archeologists from the lay, and I assume it’s only a matter of time before we see similar views adopted by our colleagues.

          Unless there is more quality put out there, like Herzog’s “Cave of Forgotten Dreams”

          Edit: And let’s not forget James Cameron who says he found the Ossuary of Jesus fiasco. Le sigh. ;)

          • http://www.facebook.com/frauen1 Frank Rauen

            Also the abundance of treasure hunt and gold hunting shows out there now may be contributing. I took a junior level archaeology course last semester and I was incredibly interested in it. It was over my head and I should have taken a beginner course but I enjoyed the class. Maybe I had an odd teacher but Charlie Holloway reminded me of him. Very flippant about his own life but very careful about the evidence of archaeological digs. One example was when he climbed down two hundred feet to inspect a bison jump when he could have just taken an hour or two to walk around. He said he didn’t want to waste daylight. That might be why his character didn’t annoy me.

  • Ricky_V

    But I have to say that the comparison between AVP and Prometheus is off. AVP I so, SO much worse than Prometheus! Prometheus only made me slightly pissed off and frustrated, AVP makes me want to forcefeed Paul Anderson his own testicles!

  • Shaughn Cameron

    I know I already made a detailed list of this before, but having just gotten back from seeing the film a second time, it’s astounding just how many of the plot points Noah and Miles are complaining about they either got completely wrong, or just made up. For example, at 1:05:30, they’re talking about how David questions that Shaw seems to still believe, to which Shaw replies “damn straight I do”… there’s just one problem. SHAW DOESN’T SAY THAT LINE. She doesn’t really say anything actually. She ignores the question. Spoony claims that this line was the point when he wanted to yell “fuck you” to the screen, but the line doesn’t even exist. Unless he’s watching some secret version of the film that wasn’t shown in Canada.

    I haven’t really watched much of Spoony before, but if this is normally how his reviews operate I hope people aren’t putting much stock in them.

    • Shaughn Cameron

      Unless of course “you said you can understand their navigation” means “damn straight I do”.

      • http://www.youtube.com/thefaustianman Faust

         Just saw it. I can see some of their points they are complaining about. Didn’t really get the whole Religion vs. Science thing as opposed to making some statement. This movie had a lot of “meta” work you had to track down to fully understand it, which they obviously didn’t do, or did not know about. Like the Ted Talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1R9AopbG64

        I mean if you indulge me, if Jesus Christ was an Engineer that was killed, it would still make her faith valid, even more so. However, such is the trend with atheists nowadays, they lack imagination, and take any mere speculative inquiry as a brutal affront.

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Joe-Ottoson/100000693361189 Joe Ottoson

          The only problem with Space Jesus is it makes no sense and has no support within the film itself.

          Instead, the Engineers come across as dickish terraformers.

          • http://www.youtube.com/thefaustianman Faust

             I can see your point, and agree.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/LJSMYRGXA7KYRDNNHFS22V5ULI Jason

    i felt the same with every transformer movie. yea the movies were gorgeous but the story line almost destroyed any lore the cartoon and manga tried to create.

  • http://www.facebook.com/ravenwoodwitch Angela Headley

    The biggest disapointments are the ones you looke forward too. I had the same feeling when I went to see The Last Airbender.  I came in stary-eyed, and left spewing smoke out of my mouth.
    I’m not gonna argue legistics-movies are always subjective. I will say this was an entertaining review, and was probably more entertaining than the source material, so good job :).

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Nash-Knight/740228999 Nash Knight

    I watched Prometheus today and I got to say, it’s even worse that Spoony portrayed it. It’s  somewhere on the verge between funny and offensive. The only thing funnier than the movie are the people who are coming up with these ridiculous explanations in attempts to explain it. There are no explanation, this movie is just plain BAD. And take in notion that I’m actually a fan of the Alien franchise. I actually liked AvP more than this piece of trash.

    • http://www.facebook.com/Moatz007 Jason Moatz

      I’m with you.
      I never felt insulted by AVP (the first one anyway), where as Prometheus seemed to be insultingly stupid.
      The difference between the two for me is AVP felt like it knew, “Hey, we’re making a really silly movie. Let’s just have fun with it.” While Prometheus thought it was brilliant and challenging and was going to change the way people look at life.
      Prometheus should have been made into two different movies. I think that would have helped greatly. One movie being a really deep philosophical piece, questioning life and our creators and such while the other should have been a straight up Alien prequel… and the writer from Lost never should have been involved. 

  • CallMeAux

    Spoony, thank you for sharing the opinions that you did and I couldn’t agree more with you.   

    I have been a long-time viewer but I have never commented on any of your videos; this review made it absolutely necessary for me to make an account and leave a comment to thank you.

    I shared very similar ideas point-for-point as you did, however the group of people I ended up seeing the film with conflicted heavily with my opinions (causing me to wonder if I was overly critical of the film for personal subconscious reasons or if I just didn’t identify with the majority opinion).  I ended up feeling like “that guy” for thrashing this film in the post-movie discussion that always begins among viewer groups with the question “so what did you think?”  I ended up stating what I thought, didn’t regret it, while continually asserting that they were only my opinions.

    I’m not thanking you for making me feel as though my opinions are legitimized by having you publish opinions consistent with my own.  I am thanking you for creating a thoroughly verbalized, well-formed work containing the thoughts and arguments that ONE particular perspective (which includes me) felt toward this movie. You boldly and sharply contradicted the majority opinion for this film without fear of losing your viewership.  

    i.e.: You said what was on our minds in great detail but none of us had the gall to say.

    You’ve earned me as a life-long fan.  Keep your integrity Spoony!

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Joe-Ottoson/100000693361189 Joe Ottoson

       So you didn’t pay attention to the movie either?

      • CallMeAux

        I did pay attention to the movie, I don’t know what you mean by that.

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Joe-Ottoson/100000693361189 Joe Ottoson

          Spoony did not, and the conclusions he reached were largely due to his inattention.

          • http://www.facebook.com/Moatz007 Jason Moatz

            In your paying attention which you claim those who agree with Spoony didn’t pay attention… did you happen to stumble across the answer to why Charlize went and put on a space suit and launched herself onto the planet surface rather than hopping in her lifeboat which is there just in case a situation like this arose?

            Or any of the dozen other questions that Spoony brings up which you haven’t answered the questions but rather have waved your hand dismissively claiming we merely didn’t pay attention.

          • Kyle stauffacher

             Because she couldn’t reach it in time? And in fact, I believe during that scene her shuttle ejects, while she’s making her run to escape.

            In fact, I can’t think of how that scene with her making it to the escape pod could have made sense plot wise.

          • http://www.facebook.com/Moatz007 Jason Moatz

            I’m still wondering what made her shuttle eject. Did the captain eject it from the bridge? If so, why the bloody Hell would he do that? And considering how long it was taking her to put on the space suit how she didn’t have time to get to the shuttle (if she had just skipped the space suit) is beyond me. It was a big ship bug it wasn’t like the thing is the size of Texas and her shuttle seemed to launch really fast.

            If I were writing it, and I do write screenplays, and I wanted that scene to make more sense I’d have her get to her shuttle and take off it in, it’s not like she did anything on the planet worth mentioning. You then have the option of having her get tentacle raped by the giant squid (and how the fuck did it get so big with no food?) or having her survive, avoiding the squid on the ride home and that can lead to all kinds of craziness when the Weyland corporation gets their hands on the squid monster.

            Also, you have the engineer die in the crash because him chasing after her didn’t make any sense. David’s head can still survive the crash, she can go get it and we end on the same note more or less. It just all makes more sense.

          • Shaughn Cameron

            So let me get this straight… a super-powered alien surviving the crashing of his space ship, while he’s in the most secure part of it, and the ship itself isn’t in particularly bad shape, makes absolutely no sense, but David’s head can still be okay.

          • http://www.facebook.com/Moatz007 Jason Moatz

            You could have his head go bouncing off into a corner or whatever.

            I am imagining it’s easier to end the life of a humanoid than it is to destroy the head of a robot. A broken neck, a slashed vein, or some other injury that’s relatively easy to have happen could take place far easier than something destroying David’s head.Other than being physically stronger that a human isn’t never really shown how tough they are. They clearly state that the engineers are basically human. They’re just like 9 foot tall Lou Ferigno’s. Granted that’s a pretty scary thought.My issue though isn’t that the engineer survives. It’s his actions after he survives. Rather than going and grabbing another one of their ships and heading to Earth to complete what we can only assume is his mission he runs off to go Hulk smash the tiny alien (alien to him) woman who’s on a planet that lacks food for her to eat as well as has only a very limited amount of air for her to breathe.

            It’s not that the things that happen couldn’t take place, it’s that these things that happen only happen if people act like idiots. Which if this were a movie about a bunch of pot heads getting high in a beach house then fine, whatever. But these are supposed to be a collection of the smartest people on Earth and one would assume that the engineers aren’t intended to be morons either.

          • Shaughn Cameron

            -You mean the robot who was torn apart by said humanoid with ease?

            -As far as the Engineer’s toughness or strength is concerned, you do remember the part where he was shot, without being remotely fazed. Granted his armour helped, but he didn’t need his armour when he knocked Weyland’s guard across the room with very little effort.

            -And bare in mind, he’s protected inside this giant armoured control chair.

            -As far as his actions afterward, it was never established that the Engineer was going to give up and not go into another ship.
            -After having his ship knocked out of commission by what he would perceive as ants, isn’t it entirely reasonable that he might be just a tiny bit pissed off at the people responsible? Anger is such a basic emotion, what makes you think he wouldn’t be susceptible to it? I don’t understand how going after the people who slighted you is so unreasonable. We base entire movies around that plot.

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Joe-Ottoson/100000693361189 Joe Ottoson

             A lot of this could’ve been addressed had they simply given David subtitles. We don’t know what set the engineer off in the first place.

            As it is, there are no answers for the third act with is understandably frustrating.

            That aside, unless every ship on the planet was also laid low by the xenophage, I don’t think Earth was a priority for any of the other ships. (They would’ve simply taken the next available ship and sunk us 2,000 years ago if it was.) I don’t believe that frag the earth was a high priority for the Engineers as a whole.

            The lack of anti earth activity for 2,000 years also suggests to me that the engineers as a whole suffered a collective catastrophe at the same time.

          • Shaughn Cameron

            If you want a detailed list what’s wrong with many of the “questions” Spoony bring up, you need only look further down in the comments section. There have been a number of people who called Spoony out on some of this. I made a huge list much further down detailing the issues that he either got wrong, were explained or he lied about. And that was after only seeing the movie once.

        • Shaughn Cameron

          What he’s referring to is the issue that many, though not all, of the perceived plot holes, contradictions, or inane plot elements that Noah and Miles pointed out could be broken into three categories:

          1) Elements which were mistaken (i.e. Why does Vickers have a surgical pod if it’s only programmed to handle male or general surgery. The answer of course being that it’s intended for Weyland)

          2) Confusing elements with conclusions which they missed (i.e. Why does David not listen to Shaw. The answer being that he’s secretly working for Weyland, and has no intention of following Shaw’s directions in the first place.

          3) Elements which they lied about (i.e. Supposably the breaking point of the film for Spoony when David asked Shaw if she still believed, to which she replied “damn straight I do”. Minor problem with that, as she said no such thing. She evaded the question.

          While this movie isn’t perfect by any stretch of the imagination, there’s nothing here worthy of such ire, especially when people like Spoony are getting angry over things that don’t even happen in the movie. I don’t think Ridley Scott can be held responsible for what people make up. There are several more expansive lists further down in the comments of what these two missed.

          • http://www.facebook.com/Moatz007 Jason Moatz

            You’re saying the pod was intended for Weyland, but Weyland himself states that he only has days left to live and that’s why he’s gone on this journey, one would presume in hyper-sleep the whole way. If he’s 10 minutes from dying why would he need the pod? Also, if the pod can fix him why does he need to spend a trillion dollars and travel across the galaxy?

            Also, why would such a pod NOT be even able to recognize a human female? I’ll run with that it’s not programmed for the operations, but that it doesn’t even know a human female one one is sitting in it?

            If the thing doesn’t have the ability to operate on women, what operation is it preforming on her when it cuts her own and brings out the grabby hand to reach in her belly?

            And if they have this multi-trillion dollar corporation they can’t get a pod that works on both men and women?
            And if it’s intended for Weyland and not for her at all why wouldn’t it be in Weyland’s quarters instead of her’s? If you’re assuming that it is for him and the only purpose for that would be emergency surgery or something such as a heart attack you would think that you would want that as close as possible to where he is located and not on the other side of the ship in the woman’s room.

            These are just the questions that come up from this one single point. There are at least 10 similarly stupid points without even getting into the small nit picks. I don’t even want to count how many nit pick type things there are.

            The BEST part of that entire point, is if you removed the fact that it only works on guys and make it logically able to work on women you haven’t changed the movie at all.

          • Shaughn Cameron

            This is going to take some time. Roughly following your order:

            -He said he was potentially days from death, not minutes.

            -This is his last ditch effort to stave off death. The pod isn’t intended to fix him, it’s merely there should any complications arise that can be dealt with by our technology. But stopping death entirely is well out of our hands. That’s why he funded this journey in the first place. They created us, they can save us.

            -Like Vickers said, she likes being prepared. What if something were to go wrong and they needed to perform surgery on him. That’s why its there. She’s entirely focused on him and only him.
            -As for getting one that works on both men and women, why would Weyland want to. He doesn’t care about anyone else on the crew, even his own daughter. This whole endeavour is one big vanity project. And again, it was there primarily for him. 

            -The pod never said it couldn’t perform general operations, it only can’t perform female exclusive ones. I really doubt Weyland thought he would need a c-section.

            -It was established that there were only about 12 of these pods in existence. They’re clearly very rare, and the technology is pretty advanced even by the standards of this film. Shaw even commented that they were primarily meant for bypass surgery. There’s no reason to expect that they can perform any and all operations one can think of. Granted there is an 80 year difference, but compare this to automated equipment today. Just because it may be able to perform one or several functions, that doesn’t mean it can perform anything.

            -It’s called suspension of disbelief. This is a FICTIONAL piece of equipment. All we have to go on is the information that’s given to us in the film itself. It makes the rules. If it breaks those rules, that’s when there’s an issue.

            -As for what operation she was performing, I believe she said something about an infection. While I can’t remember what Shaw was saying as she was programming it, I recall her saying to target the abdomen, where the uterus is located.

            -The pod was placed in the lifeboat as it was seemingly the most secure part of the ship. It had its own oxygen reserves, it could detach from the ship in a crisis. If something went wrong, it would hypothetically be the safest place to be, and the safest place to perform an operation. Moving Weyland from Chryo to the pod seems to be a pretty easy task, especially as according to a map of the ship, and as was seen in the movie, the lifeboat and the medical bay are almost right beside one another. It’s not like they have to go very far.

            I mean, if those aforementioned points were genuine problems and not nitpicking, I’d hate to see what nitpicking consists of.

            As for that last point, that’s debatable. On the one hand, the pod being intended for a male, in conjunction with the previous scene between Vickers and David helps establish that Weyland is on the ship, and helps establish his motives and character. Think about it, a member of his crew is put at extreme risk to herself because of Weyland’s vanity. It’s really not that hard to figure out. It’s not particularly subtle, I mean I figured that out before Weyland made his appearance.

            Furthermore, on a more visceral level, is does make the scene more unsettling. The idea of performing a patchwork c-section on someone. I saw it with a group of 9 people, and one has to leave during that scene as they started to get queasy. So mission accomplished.

          • http://www.facebook.com/Moatz007 Jason Moatz

            I was exaggerating when I said 10 minutes.

            Vickers is entirely focused on keeping alive the father whom she can’t stand?
            You act like it’s stupid to question the logic behind the machine needed to keep this guy alive, whom can barely move, in a different part of the ship that where he is. If he were to have a stroke or something which given what you’re saying is the exact reason for bringing this thing why would you not want it as absolutely close to him?

            Hell, why did he have to pretend he was dead anyway?Looking at the movie as a screenwriter the first thing that makes that scene stand out is ask yourself this question, “What does this add to the movie?” So, what does having the pod only work on men add to the movie? Other than a lot of confusion as to why would something be like that what does it add? It doesn’t force Shaw to do anything different really. It just extends that scene by about 10 seconds.

            Both myself and my best friend were taken completely out of the movie when the pod said it doesn’t work on women. Right there in the theater we both looked at each other in complete disbelief. And from the sound of it Miles and Noah did too. I would say if a part of the movie is doing that it’s a fairly large issue.

            If I wanted to nit pick the movie I would bring up issues like while running on the planet surface away from the falling ship, why were Shaw and Vickers running in a straight line when it was made clear that they only had to move over about 3 feet.

          • Shaughn Cameron

            -It was clearly established earlier in the film, that despite her feelings towards her father, she does genuinely care for him. He might be the only one she does care for, at least to some degree. This is especially noticeable during her argument with David, and her frustration at being ignored.

            -As far as Weyland’s proximity to the machine. The medical bay and the life boat are apparently right next to each other. That’s not exactly very far. This can be seen in diagrams of the ship, and within the movie itself where Elizabeth practically goes from one section right into the other, both when entering and leaving the pod.

            -Having the pod intended for only Weyland does actually add something, and ties in with Vicker’s line about a king’s rule. Weyland is completely unwilling to give up his life. So much so that he’s willing to travel across the galaxy and put the lives of dozens of people at risk. Even when Vickers tries to reason with him, he seems completely unfazed. The pod is just another example of this. It, like the whole mission is there for him, and only him. At least as far as he is concerned.

            -You want to play a numbers game? Fine. I saw this 8 other people, and no one had a problem with that scene. Only one of them didn’t like the movie, and that was because of another perceived plot hole that didn’t exist. Just as you pointed to Spoony, I could point to plenty of other reviewers who didn’t have a problem with it.

            -I was referring to nit picking about the aforementioned scene, but anyway; that part is one of the few genuine problems with this movie, albeit a very small one. Granted, it’s not nearly as stupid as Lambert and Parkers death in the original Alien. That’s my least favourite moment in that film, but it didn’t stop the movie from being one of my all time favourites.

            -Also, they had a little bit further to move than 3 feet. Another exaggeration I know. 

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Joe-Ottoson/100000693361189 Joe Ottoson

            Most likely the pod was set for heart surgery due to the possibility that the shock from waking from hyper sleep could’ve put him into cardiac arrest.

            It was just there to keep him from dying before he talked to the aliens.

            Weyland also says to Vickers “So you came after all.” That was Weyland’s suite all along. Vickers took it when she opted to come along at the last minute.

            That’s a lot of aimless questioning you mustered simply by not paying attention to the movie.

          • Shaughn Cameron

            Wow, I’ve seen it twice and I completely missed that line from Weyland. That would add even further questions, though not in a bad way, just minor curiosities.

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Joe-Ottoson/100000693361189 Joe Ottoson

            Vickers wanted the company. How that would shake down while he was in stasis for 2.5 years, and with whatever happened on the planet was up in the air (could’ve taken them months if not years rather than two days) and she hated that he didn’t simply turn it over to her before he left.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=513820376 Tyler John Brookbank

    please do this more often. i love when you just talk about shit

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_F6DCTUY6RUMWXJKGOICRNIAXCM André Norell

     “How do you know?”

    “I don’t, but that’s what I choose to believe.”

    “What you choose to believe? You, a supposed scientist, ‘choose to believe’? For all you know, these ‘creators of humanity’ could have just been hitchhiking across the galaxy, and visited earth as a pitstop before heading onward to the Alpha Centauri system.”

    “… ummm.”

    “… you suck as a scientist. I’m out.”

  • http://twitter.com/darnold90 dyk

    Just saw the movie, am I the only one here that really liked it.

    • Shaughn Cameron

      Not at all. Admittedly, I would say it was good, not great, though certainly not terrible. It’s in this weird middle ground, which is arguably the worst place for a film to be in. There’s nothing here that’s particularly terrible, but there’s nothing, with the exception of the visuals that’s really all that great, especially when compared to other films. There’s clearly a genuine effort in this film to make something good, but I suppose saying; “sometimes things just don’t work out they way we plan” isn’t as entertaining as saying; “its a piece of shit” and calling it a day.

    • http://twitter.com/paburu Juan Pablo Lomeli

       I actually liked it, and considering all the “nitpicks” it wasn’t that bad

  • ben coley

    Hey Noah,

    i’m not going to get into a big debate here, but it seems to me that a few of your criticisms are due to missing out on minor details in the film. i don’t know, perhaps you were in some kind of not-paying-attention-rage or something.

    there are a few dumb moments in the film (of COURSE there are)… but equally, there are plenty of dumb moments in the original 2 films, and even the epic John Carpenter’s The Thing. But are they not great films?

    i posit that it’s fine to overlook a few dumb moments, and that Prometheus is actually (when broken down) a pretty solid sci-fi film.

    perhaps it’s worth watching it again, oh Spoony One?

    give it a go. i think your opinion might ‘evolve’.

    later dude. all the best.

    • http://www.facebook.com/Moatz007 Jason Moatz

      Curious, what things in Alien and Aliens did you find to be dumb?

  • dufimaxi

    Excellent Vlog, though for the medi pod part, it’s obvious it was for Weyland, even though not programming it for female is dumb too.
    However, I’m surprise you guys didn’t talk about the most STUPID part of this movie, at least for me: Charlize Theron’s death.
    I mean, her and Elizabeth are both running away from the falling ship, WHY DON’T THEY DASH TO THE SIDES?
    I mean, both of them ar one behind the other, charlize in IN FRONT, then Beth trip. What does she do? She rolls TWICE to the side and that’s somehow enough to dodge the falling ship. Twice. So, Charlize could avoid the ship in a second, just taking two steps to the side, and she has the space for it, but nooo, it never comes to her mind, and she get crushed like a moron.
    This was seriously the most stupid part of the movie for me, even animals are more intelligent than that.

  • SnapIntoASlimJim

    If you want to talk about offensive, Red Letter Media’s review of Prometheus takes the cake. In it, the one guy says that if you are upset by this movie that there is no hope for you and you should stop watching films.

    Mind you, I don’t even think this movie was “awful” as some say but certainly not a great movie. Be that as it may, those guys are quite full of themselves making a comment like that considering that the way people even got to know Red Letter Media at all was by them being so upset at those Star War prequels that it lead to them producing video reviews that have the running time of a movie.

    Never really cared for them and that insulting and stupid statement pretty much seals the deal for me.

  • http://mrconservativegamer.wordpress.com/ Myrmecodon

     This movie is worse than just bad.  It’s lazy.  Lazy and corrupt people
    like it, because it wallows in its own inscrutability, the only sure
    protection for the depraved.

    And Ben, name a few of the ‘dumb things’ in The Thing, a film about a
    malevolent alien shape-shifter completely blind-siding a group of
    scientists already harried, paranoid,  and claustrophobic from a
    completely unrelated mission, and Prometheus, ostensibly about a group
    of some of the greatest and most independent-minded scientists in the
    world being sent on a history-making mission to find the creators of
    humanity yet behaving in dumber ways than the people in the Thing.

    Actually, I’ve found that people who really like and defend Prometheus
    are generally
    exactly the same sort of people who hate The Avengers or Pixar movies or
    MAN-CHILD NERDS things that make billions of dollars in profit and
    bring delight, laughter, and inspiration to many.  Permanently and
    willingly disaffected.  Hipsters.  Cynics.  Liberals.  Those who will
    willingly corrupt truth and justice for a laugh, having decided silently
    long ago that there was no hope for the world and that no one would
    make them look bad by forcing them to justify the thought.  Lies and exaggerations are their stock in trade, they’ve told so many that their very language robs them from seeing the truth.

    Usually they’re only really good at defensive ridicule and saving face,
    and the clearest sign you’ve riled them up into an extreme state of
    butthurt is the fact that they make strawman videos of the WELL YOU
    SOUND LIKE THIS SO THERE!!! variety.  They love barren landscapes and
    barren women whose faith is a joke on the edge of being a punchline,
    they hate any debate where they might lose or look bad, so they snark in
    lieu of actually creating anything better, or even explaining their
    feelings.  They see no flaws in Prometheus because they themselves would
    have kept things to themselves or pushed their own agenda at any cost
    as long as it was to their benefit.

    They are enemies of the wonder and innocence of children, and would have been burned at the stake in wiser times.

    Don’t let them get to you, spoon-dude.

    • Shaughn Cameron

      Wow… there is so much wrong with that. Because clearly anyone who has a different opinion than yourself must be an asshole. What other explanation could there be?

      Actually, I was going to write up a huge rebuttal to this, but the more I read it the more I’m persuaded this has to be flame bait. No one, could possibly write something so unbelievably stupid. Seriously, there’s got to be some kind of award for that. Or perhaps your just trying to make detractors of the film look bad. 

      But in the off chance that your comments were genuine, I highly doubt anyone, on any side of this issue, including Spoony, would want someone like yourself involved.

      • http://mrconservativegamer.wordpress.com/ Myrmecodon

         It’s a very long-winded way of saying that Spoony would be better than Brad on any first contact mission.

        • Kyle stauffacher

          It’s a very long winded way to say absolute bullshit?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Raymond-Ogilvie/31708760 Raymond Ogilvie

    One thing I’ve been saying a lot is that the scientist boyfriend in this movie reminds me of Roger Ebert’s thoughts about Matthew Broderick in /Godzilla/. He “seems less like a scientist than like a place-holder waiting for a rewrite (‘insert more interesting character here.’)”

    The surgical pod only being able to service men is supposed to be a tip-off that it’s not for Vickers at all; it’s for Weyland. It really isn’t very clear.

    What’s more, the thing that pulls the squid out of her is like the claw from one of those claw games where you can win a stuffed animal if you’re really good. They design the claw in those things to not hold onto the stuffed animal really tightly, so you’re likely not to win. That’s what the claw in the medical pod works like. It’s holding the squid really loosely, and it looks like it’s gonna let go at any second.

    It seriously bugged me that she never told anybody about the squid, or the fact that David can’t be trusted. I would think people would like to know, and that it would be a priority for her to tell them. When you’ve just given birth to an alien squid and been betrayed by an android, something has to be done about it, doesn’t it? And she beat up two of her crew members to get to the medical pod, and there are no repercussions for that. Shouldn’t they be chasing after her, trying to recapture her?

    Incidentally, the reason that David infected the boring scientist seems to be that he was following orders. Remember? Weyland told him to “Try harder.” So it was an attempt to speed things along and try to find things out, maybe even find a cure for Weyland. A stupid attempt, admittedly, but it was an attempt.

    I did wonder what happened to her private escape pod.

    Speaking of the Science vs. Religion angle, do you remember when David took the cross away from Elizabeth and put it in a laboratory jar? As Matthew Buck says, “SYMBOLISM!!!” Actually, I just realized that they echo this when Elizabeth puts David’s head in the bag.

    First off, just because humans were created by aliens doesn’t mean there’s no God in this movie’s universe. Second, it seems to me that one of the big themes here is the search, the struggle, of religious people for answers and understanding in the face of complete incomprehensibility. Why does the Architect immediately kill everybody it can? Why do good things happen to bad people if the universe is governed by a loving God? It’s a mystery. People of faith wrestle with this question, even though there seems to be no possibility of ever finding an answer. Some people resign themselves to the cop-out of “God works in mysterious ways.” Others will not be satisfied with such a non-resolution, so they keep searching. Whether this is right or wrong to do, it’s what they do, and the movie is in part a metaphor for that.

    All I have to say is, can’t you just turn off your brain and enjoy all the same things I do? And hate all the same things I do as well? Anyone who has different tastes from me takes things way too seriously and needs to get a life.

    • Sharkman_Jhones

       “All I have to say is, can’t you just turn off your brain and enjoy all
      the same things I do? And hate all the same things I do as well? Anyone
      who has different tastes from me takes things way too seriously and
      needs to get a life.”

      I hate this attitude.

      I agree with the critics saying that Spoony and Miles have misremembered details, and that some plot holes do have explanation, but that last bit you put is the single worst thing I can think of when it comes to thinking about movies.

      I love thinking and analyzing.  If a movie makes me thing, I consider it a good thing, and I consider that fun.  I consider that part of the movie experience.

      I can’t shut my brain off and I’m insulted that people think I should have to, especially with a movie that was supposed to be dealing with complex themes.

      • Kyle stauffacher

         I think that was sarcasm, Sharky. Hence the closing statement about people needing to get a life for disagreeing with him, after expressly bringing up a series of valid points.

    • http://www.facebook.com/stedman.harold Stedman Harold

       “It seriously bugged me that she never told anybody about the squid, or
      the fact that David can’t be trusted. I would think people would like to
      know, and that it would be a priority for her to tell them. When you’ve
      just given birth to an alien squid and been betrayed by an android,
      something has to be done about it, doesn’t it? And she beat up two of
      her crew members to get to the medical pod, and there are no
      repercussions for that. Shouldn’t they be chasing after her, trying to
      recapture her?”

      This was one of the major problems with this movie. All the characters are just giant sacks of apathy. It’s like they don’t care about these really weird things happening. I can understand David being apathetic since he’s a robot and isn’t supposed to have emotions, but what about everyone else?  I understand that the movie is already long, bu they really needed to give the characters enough time to properly react to some of these situations. This shit happens, then a few moments later is feels they’re like, “Whatever.”

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jonathan-Avery-Sicard/100000675112081 Jonathan Avery Sicard

    Wellll… I still like it. I don’t remember her saying “damn straight I do”… I would have laughed at that. what version were you watching?

    • Shaughn Cameron

      She doesn’t actually say that line. I watched it a second time keeping an eye out for that line, and double checked by bringing up the scene online. Spoony is getting angry over a line he made up.

      • http://www.facebook.com/Moatz007 Jason Moatz

        I could be wrong, but I don’t believe Spoony was attempting to quote her words, but rather pointing out her overall stance and indicating the line she said at that time regardless of her phrasing.

        • Shaughn Cameron

          It’s not that Spoony’s getting her wording wrong, it’s that he’s making up the line, and its meaning all together. She doesn’t actually answer David. She avoids the question and changes the subject. She responds by confirming that David can control one of their ships. Regardless about the quality of any given film, outright lying about the subject seems to be taking it a little too far. I haven’t seen enough of his reviews to be sure if this is common in Spoony reviews or not.

          • http://www.facebook.com/stedman.harold Stedman Harold

            I think Spoony got some of the scenes mixed up, but he wasn’t angry at the line itself, but the character’s reaction to all that was going on. There were a couple of times during the movie where Female Scientist (I forget her name) has her faith questioned.

            When they actually find out that the aliens created all human life, her boyfriend tells her that she can take her father’s cross off now. He’s implying that the aliens created us and not some “god”. The female scientist says something along the lines of, “They created us, but who created them?” and, “I choose to believe.”

            I think Spoony was just outraged that she’s still so adamant about her faith even though they pretty much just disproved God’s existence. He kind of exaggerated her line. She never actually said, “Damn straight I do.”

            I just found it kind of funny that the female scientist would be doing this kind of research. I understand that there are scientists who choose to keep the faith, but the purpose of her research seems like it’s purpose is to disprove her faith. Prove one, disprove the other. And when her research turns out right, she’s still like, “I choose to believe.”

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/UQOPHYDG7TJNLFAKFAEEZ4CNSY Deacon Cole

    They should have cast Rutger Hauer as Weyland. Think about it.

    You also should have mentioned that the ship didn’t just land on Charlize Theron but it rolled like a giant wheel and the idiots ran in the same direction it was rolling instead of to the side to get out of the way.

    Prometheus is the worst movie I have seen since Cabin in the Woods, but I think Cabin in the Woods was worse. Both movies were insulting, but Cabin was intentionally insulting. It’s a movie that tells you that you’re a bad person and an idiot for watching it. Prometheus is just stupid but thinks it’s smart. That’s almost endearing except it also thinks it’s smarter than you.

    • http://www.facebook.com/kaisslim.saidi Kais Slim Saidi

      But atheists believe in the non-existence of God ! Which is a belief on itself !

      Okay , okay just kidding man . I see your point when it comes to approaching spirituality Mr COle . I do agree that a lot of people don’t want to see something for what it is or come up with really crazy theories to , for example, say that green is red . Some feel a lot smarter that way .

      I still think Prometheus would be the ideal goofy comedy for my dad . We laughed like hyenas with the exorcist ( No srsly ! I think the devil should sue the director for making him look like a moron in this ….).

  • Sebastian Zetterström Nygren
  • http://www.facebook.com/Mistressofthestrange Eva Faustina Cheer



    Do any of you remember that scene in the first Alien movie where they see the giant creature in the seat?

    Well….this served as the biggest plot hole of the movie for me. There
    was only one Engineer left at the end of Prometheus. We saw only one.
    And he escaped the ship after it crashed to go after Shaw and to be
    mouth raped by the giant tentacle thing.

    Now…think about this for a second. If that Engineer got up and left
    (He was meant to be the one they found in the first Alien film, strapped
    in the chair) than there leaves one of the biggest continuity fucks
    ever. That was the thing that probably pissed me off of the most.  I
    really wish this movie had been a stand alone…it just does not feel
    like an Alien movie, and you can tell that’s what it’s trying to be.

    • Shaughn Cameron

      This is a good example of one of these non-existent plot holes that people are getting upset about. One of the people I went to see the movie with thought the same thing. The problem is:

      Alien and Prometheus take place on different planets. 


      Prometheus takes place on LV-223, Alien and Aliens takes place on LV-426. Beyond the name change, the planets themselves, despite some similarities are remarkably different. Based on Prometheus, the derelict from Alien was likely fleeing the same outbreak that occurred 2000 years before the events of Prometheus. We see that the dead Engineers had their chests burst open just like the Engineer we see in Alien.  Though, it apparently didn’t get very far, as it appears that LV-223 and LV-426, may in fact both be moons orbiting the same planet. Prometheus explains where the ship came from, rather than showing how it necessarily got where it was.

      • http://profile.yahoo.com/UQOPHYDG7TJNLFAKFAEEZ4CNSY Deacon Cole

         While true, most people can be forgiven for no realizing that Prometheus and Alien take place on different planets. They didn’t exactly make a big point of it. I don’t even remember the planet in Prometheus being named. That and the crashed ship at the end just happens to land in pretty much the same position as the crashed ship in Alien. It would not surprise me to learn that it was originally supposed to be the same planet but it was changed later.

        • http://www.facebook.com/Moatz007 Jason Moatz

          I’m a pretty hardcore Alien/Aliens fan and I didn’t catch that it was a different planet at first. The fact that both planets are “LV-X2X” makes it really easy to get that confused.

          • Shaughn Cameron

            I don’t intend to be derogatory, but it seemed pretty obvious to me. I mean, the name appears on two occasions. Granted the first is rather brief, but the second instance is pretty clear. That’s setting aside the visual differences of the planet itself, and the obvious issue that none of the discoveries on this planet or remains of the Prometheus are present in Alien(s).

          • http://www.facebook.com/kaisslim.saidi Kais Slim Saidi

            Sorry to interrupt you Mr Moatz , but I really have to ask , do the Xenomorphs actually consume the flesh of their victims ? Because in all 4 movies we see them slaughter or even rape with their tail (what happened to Lambert was that apparently) , but never munch on people …

      • Sharkman_Jhones

         Then how did we end up with the Xenomorphs?  We see a proto-Xenomorph at the end of Prometheus, but the actual creation leading to it’s birth was total accident that was dependent on the variables and events of the movie.  The Maker was implanted by a parasite alien born of a human woman getting impregnated by a human man who was directly infected by the bio-weapon The Makers put together.

        I’m not saying you’re wrong, I just wanna know how that works out and maybe others have a better example.

        • Shaughn Cameron

          I don’t think the Proto-Xenomorph was intended to show us how we got to the Aliens we specifically saw on LV-426, but to show an example of their evolution to that state, and bridge the two stories. All of the creations of the black liquid seem to bare some similarity to the Aliens.

          As they’re exploring the pyramid structure, they see that hologram of the Engineers fleeing some unknown pursuer. Later, they find a pile of Engineer bodies, several of which have holes in their chests, much like the Engineer we see in Alien. As David explained, they were preparing to head to Earth 2000 years ago when an outbreak occurred. It would seem that some precursor to the Xenomorphs (like the Proto-Xenomorph), or perhaps something even closer to the Xenomorphs already existed, and attacked the facility. So we never get to see exactly how we ended up with the Xenomorphs as we know them, but it’s hinted that they’ve been in existence for quite some time.

          Plus, when they enter the room with the giant face, and all of the urns, we see a mural of what appears to be a Xenomorph. So the Engineers seem to know that the black liquid is capable of creating them, or perhaps they are one in the same.

  • ehhhhhhh

    -The surgery pod thing is obviously for Weyland
    -They never say the DNA is 100% match, its just a match. Like we share DNA with other species that dont look like us.
    -When Weyland was talking to David, he tells him to try harder, thats why he decides to give the goo to the scientist as an experiment. He even asks him “how far are you willing to go” and he says he would give everything for an answer
    -The 2 guys on the cave got lost because the storm was disturbing the equiment
    -The zombie guy is not the guy that was burned, it was the geologist with the weird hair
    -Charlize got on the escape pod because its 100% full proof escape supposedly. she wouldn’t know if her room would survive the crash/explosion it was just the safest room on the ship.
    -The alien remains are 2,000 years old. Maybe they decided to fuck humanity up after the whole jesus incident, and something stopped them. 
    -She kept her belief because she wanted to find out who made the engineers and maybe go from there

    • http://twitter.com/paburu Juan Pablo Lomeli

       I agree

    • http://www.facebook.com/Moatz007 Jason Moatz

      “-Charlize got on the escape pod because its 100% full proof escape supposedly. she wouldn’t know if her room would survive the crash/explosion it was just the safest room on the ship.”

      SHE herself stated that she had her room/lifeboat installed in case she needed to get away, so she’d be in the safest possible position. And then you’re going to say that she didn’t use it because it wasn’t?
      Where does calculating the difference in survival chances come into play when looking at the difference between landing on the planet and having to run/walk/crawl to the lifeboat which is now in unknown condition??Question for you, her lifeboat popped off the ship… why? Did she launch it? Did it launch itself? Did the captain launch it? And what’s her plan if she takes an escape pod to the planet’s surface and her lifeboat doesn’t survive the un-piloted crash landing? Just wait until she runs out of air and dies? What if she had launched from the escape pod and her lifeboat hadn’t of been ejected by… someone/something?

    • http://www.facebook.com/Moatz007 Jason Moatz

      “-The surgery pod thing is obviously for Weyland”So we assume it’s for Weyland (which is only weakly implied at best), what possible GOOD reason would there be for not having it programmed to work on women as well? And given that it’s not programmed to work on women are you seriously saying that it’s lacking the basic programming needed to tell if it’s a woman inside it? This thing which only works on men can’t tell when a woman is in it?

      “-When Weyland was talking to David, he tells him to try harder, thats why he decides to give the goo to the scientist as an experiment. He even asks him “how far are you willing to go” and he says he would give everything for an answer”

      So… David’s idea of an experiment is to get someone to drink something he knows virtually nothing about, after diluting it down with no idea what effect mixing it will have and then not isolating the subject, without first testing the goo on a small flesh/DNA sample, without carefully watching the subject, and even allowing the subject to go off on an expedition. David doesn’t really know how to run a proper experiment does he? Limiting variables is like experimenting 101.
      “-They never say the DNA is 100% match, its just a match. Like we share DNA with other species that dont look like us.”

      Umm, from what I recall it says on the computer screen that the DNA is a 100% match with humans. And while we may share a certain percentage of DNA with apes and such it’s not 100%.

      “-The alien remains are 2,000 years old. Maybe they decided to fuck humanity up after the whole jesus incident, and something stopped them.”

      So then we’re assuming that the whole Jesus thing is 100% fact? At least in this movie’s universe.

  • ReloadXPsi

    To anyone saying “Waaah it didn’t have the Alien in it” RIDLEY SCOTT ESSENTIALLY SAID IT WOULDN’T

    • http://www.facebook.com/kaisslim.saidi Kais Slim Saidi

      Well… it did have … sorta . More of a prototype that would evolve ove a period of time.

      • http://www.facebook.com/risto.roosipuu.1 Risto Roosipuu

         I was confused as hell about that alien in the end.Was it a queen?

        • http://www.facebook.com/kaisslim.saidi Kais Slim Saidi

          Maybe … or it can evolve into a queen , to help the species proliferation it can mutate to do .
          Something that bugs in the Alien series (and bear inmind , I may be the only cuckoo who enjoyed all 4 of them); we never see the xenomorph actually eat . I mean they kill any different species they come  across (most xenophobic creatures in the galaxy I tell ya !) but they are not seen devouring flesh proper . Or maybe I missed a scene …

  • http://www.facebook.com/kaisslim.saidi Kais Slim Saidi

    Spoony, not only do I want to watch this movie now , but I’d invite my dad as well . He just loves when movies get dumb and doofy when it comes to medecine (this birth operation seems to be a crowning moment of wackiness ), besides this bloodbath seems funny the way you describe it .
    Anyway , kisses from Tunisia, we love your work !

  • http://twitter.com/nymphonomicon Doctor Madness

    Where is Oreo’s humanity?

  • http://www.facebook.com/evelyn.smith.986 Evelyn Smith

    Personally there was nothing wrong or stupid that happens in this movie ever… I know after I have a c-section and get stapled shut I cart wheel and run all over the place.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Joe-Ottoson/100000693361189 Joe Ottoson

      When did this cartwheel happen?

  • http://www.facebook.com/risto.roosipuu.1 Risto Roosipuu

    Ah,and i just remembered about the whole “God created humanity” thing.if my memory served me right,someone asked that woman(shaw?) that doesn’t the whole aliens created us make religion invalid and she said that “yeah…but who created them?”.That was so stupid,it made me want to facepalm.

    • Childaeus

      I think David asked Shaw that when trying to understand how she can still have faith (her cross) in the face of aliens who apparently created the human race. I suppose Adam and Eve could have been Engineers, and Eden was Earth, and when Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit (could even be the black goo at the start of the film, but that’s reaching. =P) they got physically relocated to another planet where a lot of the bible takes place. Then they one day make it back to earth and either create humans, or humans were created by the drinking of the black goo that was the apple. Some Engineers then went around and talked with humanity and planted the bible, while others felt that their ancestral home was taken over by these second generation beings, and planned to destroy them. =P

      That’s all just random making stuff up, but you can see how she might still believe in a God, if not the bible itself.

      That said, everybody seems to take the Engineers-created-humans thing very seriously for all the lack of evidence they had. I mean, if the cave paintings showed the Engineers actually creating humans, there’d at least be SOMETHING, but somehow everybody is having a crisis of faith because Shaw and her boyfriend want to believe that cave paintings of tall men from beyond the stars doesn’t just mean aliens once visited earth and maybe contributed to culture (pyramids and all that), but that they somehow make the leap that the aliens manufactured the human race? Was it ever explained where they even got the idea from? There were far more obvious conclusions to jump to than “these tall beings must have made humans, because they’re from space.”

  • http://www.facebook.com/faolan.lunasvalen Faolan Lunasvalen

    I still wonna see Prometheus, but at least now I’ll go into it knowing it’s a bad B-movie & not an Alien movie.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Joe-Ottoson/100000693361189 Joe Ottoson

       Never saw Alien 3 onwards eh?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002841042271 Nathan’el Aed Ophan

    Ticket to a shit movie: 5$
    Watching Spoony act like a five-year pothead on the camera: Priceless

    • born2sing92

      You only had to pay $5? Lucky.

      • http://www.facebook.com/JDBusserNaruto Joseph Kilcarr

        I work at a movie theater and saw it for free though I didn’t feel bad about seeing the movie

  • You Tube

    Amusing review and I can understand some of the gripes with this film that it wasn’t a full out masterpiece or one in the guise of Alien that some were expecting, but you really got carried away with your own dislike for it to an excessive extent.

    I didn’t really like the way the Geologist and his pal Milburn got lost and why this was never explained, and the character inconsistency in the way Milburn (the biologist) took no interest in the dead space jockeys, but really there is no difference between him being fascinated by a new life form and Kane shoving his head directly over a throbbing alien egg after jumping back from it in fear. As for the Shaw character recovering after having a C-Section, it reminds me of an exchange I had before elsewhere about someone buying into the depiction of faster than light space travel yet dismissing the notion they may have drugs that aid healing 100 years into the future. I think there is a lot of cherry picking going on because some basically didn’t like the entire tone of the film.

    There are pure moments of daftness in Alien too that are forgiven, why would Ripley unnecessarily continue with the self destruct sequence after finding Parker and Lambert dead instead of heading straight for the escape shuttle, why go back for the cat, why did nobody question or be suspicious of Ash as to why he didn’t spot an alien growing inside Kane when under obsevation (this was scripted but not filmed)…

    The current attitude from people who didn’t like it seems to be ‘let stuff slide from previous films you adore, nit pick on this one because it didn’t satiate your personal expectations’.

    • http://www.facebook.com/Moatz007 Jason Moatz

      I haven’t seen Alien recently enough to comment on all of the issues you brought up with it, but Ripley going back for the cat… have you never known a true animal lover? I remember having to physically drag a friend out of her house during a major flood because she was desperate to get her damn cat. I know some who would let a person, possibly even a friend die, in order to save a dog. People do that shit.

      From what I recall, the reason for blowing up the ship was to kill the alien. Those two being dead doesn’t change that. At least not from what I can recall of the movie.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Moatz007 Jason Moatz

    Having talked to a number of friends, some who very much enjoyed and some who very much hated Prometheus, I’ve come to the conclusion that: 

    If you go into the movie basically expecting the movie to be roughly equal to a stupid slashed flick with stoners getting killed by the lake by some scary monster than you’ll enjoy Prometheus. 

    You will also enjoy the movie if you are the type who was “blown away” by movies like Avatar and/or Tron: Legacy, which are incredibly pretty but very much lack substance. 

    BUT, if you are a critical thinker and allow the high caliber of questions this movie brings up to make you  expect the movie to then follow those up with equally high quality plot, character actions and challenging answers you will be incredibly disappointed, possibly insulted and/or pissed off.

    • Kyle stauffacher

       ….That’s completely wrong.

      Avatar failed to really enthrall me, and really left me bored by it’s suffocatingly narrow, incredibly predictable plot. And Tron seemed to stagnate a long time until the ending where I ultimately was only satisfied.

      I am a critical thinker, and was very engrossed in the movie. More so than the others mentioned.I went in expecting to be entertained, and for two questions to be answered. What was the Space Jockey, and where did the Alien come from? I received these answers for the almost entire part. To the point where I saw what the Jockeys actually look like, and what their role is and a roundabout representation of how the Xenomorph came to be.

      Other than that, I was given more things to ponder, predict, and discuss. There was a few things that left me sitting there wondering how exactly they expected me to swallow such as a guy fucking with what basically amounted to a Cobra in Space, or why Charlize Theron would be so stupid as to run along the path of a round rolling object. But then again it’s not like Alien didn’t leave me thinking it was utterly flaws, like when the guy essentially sticks his face into an egg of an unknown species thinking there’d be candy inside or something.

      There’s not an intelligence quotient where you suddenly stop liking this movie. There is however an insufferable pretense among people who don’t about the kind of people who do enjoy it.

      • http://www.facebook.com/Moatz007 Jason Moatz

        So… my generalization is completely wrong because you personally don’t fit into it? Do you understand how generalizations work?

        I wasn’t saying that you had to like those two movies to like Prometheus, merely that if you are the kind of person who is blown away by a movie with pretty visuals you’ll love Prometheus as it has beautiful visuals. I used Avatar and Tron as examples of such a movie because those movies have very pretty visuals, not as prerequisites.

        Also, you have someone who’s job has them going out routinely in deep space. You don’t think that such a person might be prone to being extremely curious? From what I recall (this could be wrong) but in Alien they were deep space salvagers, or some similar type of job. Which would suggest that they routinely go onto abandoned ships or strange planets in order to get things… don’t think that such a person might get curious about an alien life form? And unlike his counterpart in Prometheus he doesn’t freak out and run away from the mere sight of an alien corpse then later return to go beyond the corpse in order to find the lifeform that attacked him. ALSO, how many animals are dangerous, much less deadly, the very moment they hatch? Especially when talking about larger animals it’s pretty common for them to need quite a bit of time after being born/hatched before they’re truly dangerous.

        Lastly, I never said it was an I.Q. thing, merely a mindset thing. A good friend of mine who’s probably smarter than I really liked the film, but all he wanted out of it was pretty visuals and to see some people get murdered. His biggest complaint was, “Why the hell did the squid baby get giant? And HOW is that even possible?” The thing went from the size of a cat to the size of a Volvo in what, a couple hours or so… maybe? And all without food?

        There is however an insufferable pretense among people who do like Prometheus about the people who don’t enjoy it.

        • Kyle stauffacher

          It’s not a pretense in my case, it’s a grievance.

          You handwave that the character in Alien might have been curious by nature, but even then it’s a highly illogical leap to defend someone of such stupid acts. It doesn’t matter if things on earth are regularly non hostile, barring the exceptions which are. A fucking pod opens up, and his first instinct was to stare right into it instead of doing what any sensible person would do, and try and stay back from it. Stupid is stupid. Excuses are excuses.

          And that business about visuals and prerequisites. That is not what you said, at all.

          Your wording implies that people who enjoyed Avatar and Tron, and in association, this film, are not critical thinkers. You spurn that Prometheus has more questions than answers. Should we spurn Alien again for leaving the questions, what are the Space Jockeys, where did the Aliens come from, Can they survive in Space, was that woman raped, among other various things the film brings up?

          And most importantly of all, the closing statement you made implied you had high standards immediately set for the movie. Standards that not even the first movie, again, could live up to if you set them.

          • http://www.facebook.com/Moatz007 Jason Moatz

            Long story short in order to address “Alien” VS “Prometheus”, “Alien” knows exactly what kind of movie it is and does a brilliant job at being that movie. “Prometheus” tries to be a vastly more intelligent movie than it really is and completely fumbles the ball.

            It’s established that the character in Alien is very curious. When they first land he volunteers to go outside first. When he sees the ship he really wants to go in. When he sees the space jockey he’s curious about it. When he sees the hole in the floor he’s ready to go inside. It’s established that he’s curious and eager to explore. Also, a pod opening doesn’t mean hostile. If could have been an innocent alien child inside, or some sort of cloning station. There are plenty of things it could have been and he’d have been fine. The facehugger never gave him any warning, the egg opened, the back off for a second and then the moment he looked forward again it jumped out of the egg and attacked him before he even saw what it was. Him getting attacked was sudden and fit his character.
            In Prometheus the two idiots who get lost are established to be completely backwards from that. They aren’t happy about being there. They don’t want to explore. When they see the body they aren’t interested they just want to leave. The primary problem being that their actions go directly against how they acted minutes before then. Also, it had just been pointed out that they were completely cut off from any help for the coming hours with no hope of any medical support should anything bad happen and they then choose THAT time to get some guts and explore? The penis monster is sitting there hissing at them with it’s hood open, being as threatening as possible. That’s pretty much the international sign for, “Go away or I’m gonna eat your face.” Them getting attacked did NOT fit their characters and was EASILY predictable AND was telegraphed.

            If you don’t see a difference between being interested in an egg that opens and then almost instantly having the thing inside jump out at you before you even get a good look at it and being confronted with an alien that’s acting like a pissed off cobra and then lingering in front of it… I don’t even know what to say to you.

            I just watched Alien again for the first time in a decade or so a couple hours ago and the two situations while seemingly similar couldn’t hardly be more different.

            Also, a problem with Prometheus in general VS a movie like Alien is that Alien isn’t trying to be more than it is. Alien is straight up a survival horror. It’s not trying to question for faith or address where people come from. Prometheus is. If you want to bring up all these deep questions that have been at the heart of humanity for a long long time you better have your shit together. And Prometheus doesn’t. If all Prometheus had tried to be was a simple movie about people trying to survive an attack from some scary creature and had ditched all the philosophical stuff it wouldn’t be judged as harshly and we would have been able to do away with some of the movie’s awful dialogue.

            When it comes to what I said about Tron and Avatar, you just didn’t duplicate what I said. I specifically said, “by movies like”. Those were just examples, you taking that to mean that you have to like those movies to like Prometheus is on you buddy, not me.

            If you reread what I said about a critical thinker you’ll notice that I used words like “and”. Meaning that if you’re ALL of these things and not just one, “you are a critical thinker and allow the high caliber of questions this movie brings up to make you expect the movie to then follow those up with equally high quality”. If you’re a critical thinker who’s perfectly content to see a movie that tries to be Citizen Kane but barely works as an Alien knockoff then that statement would not apply to you. The statement that would more closely fit you given the generalities that I had mentioned would have been, “If you go into the movie basically expecting the movie to be roughly equal to a stupid slashed flick with stoners getting killed by the lake by some scary monster than you’ll enjoy Prometheus. ” And you’ll notice, that statement never once questions how smart you are, merely what you are looking for/happy to get out of the movie.

  • Ruiner

    I’m seriously glad I waited to see the film before watching any of the video reviews from Spoony, Half in the Bag, or Brad from Cinema Snob. It’s funny how Miles is talking about him being an “apologist” for Ridley Scott(although he only mentions Robin Hood as the only bad movie in a career that runs over 3 decades. I would have brought up the “Legend” director’s cut which replaces Tangerine Dream’s Electronic score with an orchestral score and essentially turns it into a fucking corny live action Disney film… but I digress), because that is exactly how I feel about this review. Spoony and Miles I have said it before and I’ll say it again I love you guys but this review makes me feel embarrassed for you both. I just don’t feel like you come anywhere near justify your complaints of what makes the film “offensive”. What makes it even worse is the incoherent rambling from some (not all) of the commentators on this page apparently agreeing with you(it is a bit hard to tell).

    I have to loosely quote Jay from Red Letter Media here “in a world of Jack and Jills, and what to expect when you’re expectings and movies like that, an ambitious but incredibly flawed sci-fi film if that’s what gets you horribly upset then there is no hope for you.” This is still a far better sci-fi film then Avatar and unlike Avatar it has more to it then pretty visuals, regardless of what some people think.

    I’m still a fan of the site,but this is just one of those times I think Spoony is wrong.

  • http://www.facebook.com/art.vandeley.9 Art Vandeley

    i’m halfway through with this review but i may forget what i have to say so here i go:

    1.- they DO have at least one soldier onboard, there’s a scene in which Elizabeth tells a guy with a weapon “this is a scientific mission, no weapons allowed” some shit like that, i guess these 2 hipsters didn’t pay attention.

    2.- The robot pod inside Theron’s room is CLEARLY programmed for male only patients because it’s there for Weyland, and nobody else, also, that room was intended to be Weylands suite, Theroin is only usi9ng it cause she wasn’t going to be a part of this mission at first, but for whatever reason at the very last moment she went, as CLEARLY stated by Weyland the first time we see him, he says something like “oh, so you decided to come”  again, this hipsters probably where busy eating their nachos rather than actually watching the movie.

    probably continued in another post after i’m done with the review…

    • http://www.facebook.com/Moatz007 Jason Moatz

      1: It’s never shown that the guy is an actual soldier. The guy mentions he’s there as security. For all that’s shown he could be 1 step from Paul Blart.

      2: So Charlize saying that she had the lifeboat added for her own safety was actually just bullshit?

      2A: If the room is for Weyland, why is he not in hyper-sleep in it? I would imagine it would have been big enough to have him in it as well. Did Charlize move him into the broom closet? Are hyper-sleep chambers so simple that you can just stick one anywhere in a ship? “Hey guys, I know it’s only 12 hours before launch, but if you could go ahead and move my father’s secret hyper-sleep chamber out of the lifeboat, into the secret locked broom closest and stick one for me in here that’d be great.” Or did they already have one in the lifeboat AND one in the secret broom closest?

      Question for you, why is Weyland pretending to be dead in the first place? If he’s hoping to return to Earth with at least a bunch of years added onto his life I would expect that he’s going to want to control his company. But if he’s considered to be dead and control of the company is being handled legally by someone else if he were to return he’d in all likelihood have no claim to it. Doesn’t seem like a very great plan. And I’m pretty sure that whomever has control over the company would be willing to fight tooth and nail to keep it, forcing a legal battle that would go on for as long as possible if they thought they might loose control.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Joe-Ottoson/100000693361189 Joe Ottoson

      1. That was the geologist. He was just a poseur, not a soldier. 

  • http://twitter.com/Lightning_Tiber Colin Tougas

    I’ve enjoyed most of Spoony’s reviews but I found it hard to listen after he basically stated that hearing other people begin to complain about the movie made him realize he was watching a campy B-movie.  The theater I was in was dead silent and on-edge the entire time and I thoroughly enjoyed the movie.  The C-section scene was intense and over the top and I laughed but it didn’t take away from how intensely gut-wrenching the scene was.  What I think this comes down to is the mob-mentality, if you hear people begin to harp on a movie you can’t help (unless you’re one who loves to go against the grain) but see the movie in a different light.  You could also consider that you’re in the theater with the hard-core fans who would want to see it opening night, they might be the first to dismiss it outright as “BETRAYAL” as that might be what they were expecting it to be.  I loved the feel of the movie, the exploration, everything else that was going on.  It all comes down to personal opinion, seems no one’s on the fence with it, but no one’s immune to the vibe in a theater.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000172542303 River Roest

      I think he ment when the people in the movie started to talk..

  • jan.stangenberg

    I liked the movie. It clearly wasn’t a 5/5, maybe more of a 3.5 – but I enjoyed it. Both the snake scene and the c-section with the squidhugger were great. You were still right about many points, BUT: I think you missed something about that whole surgical unit thing.

    I actually think it wasn’t there for Charlize Theron. It was there for Mr. Weyland – there is even a theory that Theron is an android, so she obviously wouldn’t need medical help. A dying old man, however…

    • Childaeus

      I agree that was foreshadowing Weyland’s appearance. I think it was a bit misplaced in terms of pacing though, as Weyland is revealed in the scene directly following that one, and the foreshadowing is presented during a time of panic, so it doesn’t really give it time to ferment.

      It’d probably have been more effective if Shaw noticed it when she was messing around with the machine at the start. And if instead of the machine ONLY doing operations for men, it was simply set to men by default, and required reconfiguring to do a proper C-Section. I think that would have:

      A. Allowed the foreshadowing to have more time to generate suspense before it’s payoff.

      B. Not be raise far too many questions simply for the sake of the foreshadowing. I mean if she found it was set to men by default and asked Theron why, she could simply look caught off guard and say she hasn’t gotten around to configuring it yet, and then when Weyland appears you’ll realise the true reason. Or if you don’t, you’ll see that calmer scene as the foreshadowing it is, instead of during the panic scene where it came off to some as just a dumb obstacle written into the plot to make it more suspenseful whether Shaw will be able to save herself or not. Even putting in that it’s just a configuration thing in the panic scene would work better because:

      C. It would actually allow the machine to maybe operate on her in a way that doesn’t simply not work. The way she was cut and stapled shut would literally make her unable to stand up straight for a week, let alone be running around. This isn’t an overcoming pain thing either, the muscles around her stomach were severed and, unless those staples somehow heal the muscle tissue together again (which should have been made obvious if it’s the case), she literally does not have the muscular support to stand up straight without toppling backwards every time and tearing out the staples, and then bleeding to death. That is, if she doesn’t bleed to death first from all the internal damage that wasn’t addressed with those staples, especially with how the machine mistook her interior for a man.

      I suppose they wanted the operation to be brutal and have a chance of not working, so making it a cobbled together operation would feel more suspenseful than a C-Section, because it sounds less certain and like it might fail? But still…

  • i_like_soup

    Really enjoyed the review. And yea, while I don’t regret seeing the movie, trying to fill all the holes makes my brain hurt. 

    The characters make no sense to me. None. So on your first day on a new alien world you have two guys lost in a tomb of dead aliens with exploding heads, and there may or may not be another life form in there with them – and this is the time you choose for some sexytime with charlize (which comes out of nowhere), while leaving the bridge completely unattended? I just… really? Bad captain. 
    And the scientists, my god. That’s not how science works. Not just choosing to believe is kind of the point. I could see this happening if it was a spiritual mission of an alien religion cult, but as it is, well, it’s just stupid. 
    As for the robot, I don’t even know. For a while I was like, aaah, he obviously has a diabolical anti-human agenda (the whole ‘because we can’ line got me excited), but I guess not. And then I was like, ooooh, the fake old man will get youngified by the creator, so that explains the bad make up… but no, it’s just bad for no reason. The guys panicking one minute and then petting the snaky? I gave up rational behaviour at that point. 

    Thing is, it’s a pretty, well made movie and I would recommend it, but it’s also such a weird mess of ideas that go nowhere. I have no idea what the filmmakers actually wanted to convey and what I made up, trying to make some sense of it all. And it’s frustrating, because it could so easily have been a truly awsome movie, if it just picked an idea and developed it and not have the characters act like complete idiots.      

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/KAOTKLHAHXK4XCGJLWDDS6QG5M Narc

    What, Ridley Scott doesn’t get a free pass anymore?
    Deckard was a Replicant by the way.

  • DeadCaL

    I was watching this with a squeamish female friend, and she said she only jumped twice in the whole movie.  While I don’t think the film was overly bad, it does show how Hollywood movies rely of characters acting like idiots to move plot forward.

  • mattanus

    how about putting Oreo in another room for once?

    • i_like_soup

      I get how it might annoy you, but I hope he keeps her around. 

  • mattanus

    yeah, Oreo is why the hour plus long review had to get wrapped up after going scene by scene for essentially the whole film. Yeah, Oreo.

  • landofunk

    Always love these over-the-top reviews, but my only gripe is when you asked ‘Why doesn’t the Charlize character use the external ship instead of the little escape pod?’  The ship probably would need to be in zero-g to successfully detach intact..physics Spoony! physics! Now why the Biologist was so interested in the alien creature (Other than the fact that he’s a Biologist)? I don’t know..he got high with the Geologist? …That’s the best I can use to explain his behavior.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Philip-Harris/676608860 Philip Harris

    What is up with Spoony’s girl hair?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Philip-Harris/676608860 Philip Harris

    Spoony has one of the cutest dogs I’ve ever seen :-)

  • http://idigcomics.tumblr.com/ Matt

    OW! My stomach…

  • Andres Cohen

    You forgot to mention that the guy that plays with the Penis shaped alien was actually a biologist, and also, the guy with the weird hair is indeed the one who attacked them in the ship, and yes, this movie sucked asss in so many levels

  • http://www.facebook.com/ohannu Hannu Oksanen

    Dudes! I found the movie entertaining, but where as I will probably watch it again a couple of times, Spoony’s review is even more entertaining and I’ve probably watched it like 5 or 6 times already and will probably watch it again and again atleast as many times, even if I disagree with some of the points. I liked Prometheus but I LOVED this vlog, why can’t you just enjoy the entertainment value (free btw UNLIKE the movie) contained in it? I know I have and will continue doing so.

  • http://www.facebook.com/ohannu Hannu Oksanen

    Sorry about the doublepost, I had older posts on my screen when I commented minutes ago and they were the ones I was replying for (the post’s which tried to dissects Spoony’s review like he dissected the movie himself). The one’s who agree with me: power to you.

    • http://www.facebook.com/ohannu Hannu Oksanen

      Ok. power even to those who disagree with me. I’m such a pussy.

  • Jared Fullyfisted

    I think this illustrates how disproportionate the credited responsibility towards directors in Hollywood is – everything you expect Ridley Scott to have total control over is done brilliantly. Design, cinematography, effects. This movie looks stunningly good. It is wonderfully atmospheric.

    However the script was fucking awful. That’s what everything comes down to, and this film becomes YET ANOTHER example of Hollywood somehow not recognising the importance of the script in making a coherent and memorable movie. My immediate reaction was ‘This needed another 2 re-writes’ because the ideas had potential. But there were bits that almost felt like they were discards from earlier drafts, such as the zombie attack which is a complete Big Lipped Alligator Moment. Scott was not credited for writing any of the film, as well.

    At the least, I’m glad some people enjoyed the film enough to write mini-essays defending it fiercely. I enjoyed it enough despite its flaws but I imagine if I was an invested Alien fan I’d be as pissed off as Spoony and Miles. I don’t think there’s any need to pedantically go over how they mis-remembered a few scenes in this review, though, because the movie’s plot is so jumbled and ridden with holes that it’s difficult to keep a track of in your mind.

    Hell, I’ll probably even watch the sequel if they make it. But I thought this was about on par with Aliens vs Predator at the end of the day.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Moatz007 Jason Moatz

    Does anyone have any solid ideas as to why Weyland was pretending to be dead in the first place? Seriously, why put on this whole bullshit show at all? Why not just be like, “Hey, I’m a trillionaire. I’m going to take a group of people to this planet in search of the fountain of youth. See you bitches on the flipside.” And you can’t pretend that scientists, even good ones, wouldn’t be willing to go. They might not be thrilled about the old man but the opportunity would be far too great for many of them to want to pass on.

    If it’s been declared as dead I’m pretty sure his company is going to have control turned over to someone new. So then if Weyland comes back and is all like, “Well… I’m good as new. I’m gonna go run my company again.” they might not want to just hand it over… So now he’s young again but has to start a new company, or go into a legal battle when it’s the other person who’s in control of the virtually unlimited resources of the super-company and Weyland is going to have to depend on whatever cash he hand in his wallet and the help from his family whom he’s clearly so close to? This seems like a stupid and unneeded plan.

    When I think about this the only reason I see for it is so later in the movie they can say he’s alive, “What a twist!”

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=704195647 Zannuck Leeflang

    For people that did not follow the alien series this movie is seriously confusing as hell and for me an act of bad writing…

    Acting: decent
    writing/dialogue: bad!
    -There is a difference in bringing barely qualified people on the trip (what a lot people are using as an excuse for the idiots on board) and just a bunch fucking idiots. Just the scene where 2 scientist who get lost and get scared over the simplest noise or movement suddenly go play with some alien life form they dont know shit about is just fckin stupid… This scene srsly pissed the hell out of me!! (let them die in a sneak attack or something then?)
    -Then two of the scientists bring some weird alien head with them (they only found ONE yet), pump it up with electricity just for the fun of it while ignoring the many risks that come with it seems like a great idea right?? :S. I mean come on I even learned to be more careful and do more research (before preforming a test) when I did my 1st ever science project!!

    -Holloway giving up hope meeting the makers because he assumes they are all dead while they only discovered one room yet, why give up hope so easily?? You flew for over 2 years u moron!

    -Shaw who believes in heaven but also believes the engineers made them, wait what? How does that work?? I can’t remember reading anything about “engineers” in the bible. And at the end of the movie how does she expect to survive for so long lacking I believe a source of food and water? (dont tell me that lil bag help u survive for over 2 years, but maybe thats over thinking stuff)

    -Vickers who has daddy issues, been there done that!

    -Daddy vickers who appeared (which u see coming from miles) and died within I think 5 min of footage, great addition there. No clue why his existence should be kept secret anyway, couldn’t he just lie about why he was with them? That would make the movie a lot more interesting and intense.

    -Then 2 crew mates who happily volunteer to trow there life away with their captain, cause they like him? Srsly this was so confusing! The CAPTAIN after some convincing decides to fly his huge ship against another huge ship, and then one of the guys state: ” Nah you are too bad of pilot CAPTAIN let us help with u that, HOO YA!” (not entirely like that, but it sounded like that in my ears). SERIOUSLY? He is the CAPTAIN FFS, too bad of a pilot, are u kidding me? WHY?!

    -The engineer, isn’t he suppose to be part of an advanced race? I was so thrilled when he finally woke up, because I was finally going to get my answers! Oh wait no instead he is acting like a suicidal psycho, killing anything in his way! Such a huuuuuge disappointment! Maybe I missed it but they should have translated what David and the engineer were saying to each other btw.

    -The robot David was the best char of the movie, unreadable and therefore unpredictable, its what made me keep watching the movie. +1 for the performance

    I honestly would think this movie would be waaaaaaay better if the characters weren’t so annoyingly stupid! You know if they did things how I would do things, like thinking about what you are about to do 1st instead of just doing shit. It would have been alot more exciting and realistic! Plus that would scare the shit out of me. This was just laughable

    Plot? Bad….

    But with such bad characters I dont even bother to rant about it. To me as none Alien fan it did not make sense at all. I had to do a lot research after to get answers for my questions. Questions that were completely left open by the movie, and are still pretty vague (But maybe cause it is a pre-quel?).

    Oh one thing though!
    Why, if the engineers want us dead and have probably way better technology and could probably do this in seconds, why send some biological stuff to destroy us where they themselves dont even have control over?? Is that a smart thing to do??
    Thats something I can answer: HELL NO, advanced race my ass!

    The visuals and atmosphere they create are honestly good, it felt like I was in outer space on an alien planet and the acting was pretty decent.
    The characters and plot were simply badly written and executed! There can srsly be no argument there I just cant except that!

    So Spoony I totally agree, I was sooooooo excited for the movie! But at the end I was like, what the FOK did I just watch?? What an utter disappointment…

  • cthulutaur

    yea wow, just saw the movie. turns out you guys have no idea what the fuck you are talking about haha. note to self: spoony is not a movie critic. and neither is his brother. clearly.

  • paranoyiaragnarok

    I don’t usually nitpick on a micro-level as much when it comes to films (as Spoony and Miles do apparently), but this movie is bad on both the micro- and the macro-level.

    It suffers from the usual horror film “character retardation” (procedures, who needs that shit, we’re in space!), as well as your run-off-the-mill “pre-/se-quelitis”. It clearly doesn’t know what it wants to be. Is it an “Alien” prequel? Not really: all it has in common with “Alien” is Weyland and the barbershop alien fetus at the very end. Is it a popcorn flick? No: not enough action. Is it a profound one? It certainly is not: the themes that come up are not explored properly.

    Above all though this film is completely unoriginal. It’s basically “Endless Descent” (an “Alien” rip-off, ironically) meets “Mission to Mars”. Genetic experiments… How many times have we heard that one before? The only one that comes to mind that we heard more of is the protagonist suffering from amnesia (at least in video games that is).

    I do not agree that “Prometheus” is intellectually offensive, apart from the people in this movie being complete dumbasses. If you want to see truly intellectually offensive film, go see “Melancholia” (damn it, I hate it so much). This one not only offends you intellectually, but it does so consciously and then it spits in your face, rubs it in and proceeds to laugh about it.

    “Prometheus” is just ordinary bad, not nearly close to being unwatchable. Yes there is a lot of build up for nothing, essentially. Yes, close to nothing happens in it and yes it is pretty damn stupid. Well not only is it pretty stupid, but it’s just pretty. That’s the only good thing about it, apart from the android of course. Honestly, my expectations matched it perfectly.

    It’s still a bad movie, mind you. If you have a choice don’t watch it at all, but you could certainly do a lot worse.

    Why Guy Pearce disguised as an old dude? Why, for the sequel of course! (a sequel to a prequel, oh Hollywood you!) I would wager you my soul (if I had one) that he’ll return as an android later on.

  • MaliciDWildman

    Ridley Scott’s Creature / Leviathan

  • TheLonelySandPerson

    Prometheus strikes me as a singularly useless movie. It purports to explain the origin of the xenomorphs, but… it doesn’t! Where did the derelict ship full of eggs come from? Well, it came from… a derelict ship full of canisters.

    Thanks for clearing that up, movie.

  • Mangraa

    Trust me, if you’re actually in a LOT of pain, painkillers don’t make you feel all messed up or slur your speech or have any fun effects, so to speak – instead, they return you to a normal state. I’m sure they didn’t expect her lack of any effects to be because of how much pain she must have been in, but at least SOME of it would be. Still… 5 syringes of whoknowswhat? Sounds like a party.

  • aroihkin

    Not sure why people are bitching. It’s a Vlog, and some of us watch these things to see those two give their honest opinions on these movies.

    And they’re damn entertaining.

    “This is why we can’t have nice things.”
    “Not very good scientists.”


    I find these funny even when they’re ragging on movies I liked or praising movies I hated. Opinions aren’t made invalid just because someone disagrees with them. Seriously.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jonathan-Waterstraat/617163848 Jonathan Waterstraat

    Someone needs to make a clip of Spoony saying “I DECLARE HIM TO BE AN OUTLAAAAAAAAW!!”

  • Orion_Lukas

    When this vlog went into 0:29:00 – 0:31:00 I laughed so hard my stomach started to ache. Could barely stop laughing like crazy and replaying that part. Awesome!

    Laughing so hard reminded me… it’s donation time!!!
    (My credit card goes through Pay Pal. Kaching!) Well earned my friend.

    Regardless what anyone says, at least it was an entertaining perspective you and Niles offer, with many, many valid points.Thanks.

  • http://www.facebook.com/davidethans David Scott

    spoony add me on facebook

  • http://www.facebook.com/alex.deveiteo Alex DeVeiteo

    I have to agree with pretty much everything Spoony said.
    This movie felt like a tremendous letdown, and I even found myself shouting “Oh
    come on!” as soon as the credits rolled.

    As someone with a background in anthropology, I can tell you
    that the film’s “protagonist” couple really, really sucked for being anthropologists/archeologists.
    The male one (whose name I never managed to catch) pissed me off the first
    moments he was on the screen. When exploring the caves at the beginning of the movie,
    he walks in and sees these gorgeous (and rather rare) cave paintings, his only
    response is a “Meh, is that all you got” look of smugness. I knew right then
    and there that his guy was a.) a Hollywood scientist
    and b.) A total jackass.

    That said, I did have a nerdgasm when they delved into
    Proto-Indo-European, such as the Engineer’s dialogue and David reciting Schleichers’

  • David_Dennings

    When you mentioned “what game is that like?” with the needle thing – MGS4. GRAAHHH LIQUIIIID!

  • http://twitter.com/SantaPrime Christopher Miles

    I just gotta say my biggest problem with this movie is the stars they use to find the planet. Given 4 points as reference to a star system? Does anyone know how many stars there are? Given the Billions of stars we can see from earth the chances of finding those same 4 points are easy. So easy that they should have found hundreds of systems that match the 4 points.

    My point is given enough random data (ie. star points) you can start to see patterns where none exist. It is the same thing as the Bible code. Any piece of literature that is sufficiently big will give similar results as the Bible code predictions. I would have liked them to get to the planet and find nothing lol. or at least reference that they sent probes to dozens of systems and this is the only system that showed signs of artificial buildings. would have solved a lot of problems there.

    Falls under the DID NOT DO RESEARCH trope

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/EP7LS5ON6BX3NIKG5XGNWY57W4 Dallas

    Ridley Scott’s a very unappreciated director.

  • Mateusz K.

    This is just great. Spoony and Miles both found more stupidity in the actions of the character than I thought was possible. I was jus baffled but the lack of motivation for some actions… I am not a scientist and I would have acted much more differently in some of those situations… and because i could not Identify with any of the characters, I could not immerse myself in this movie.
    I guess my expectations for this movie were different. I’m like the male lead scientist… whit all this greatness he is presented with… he is not happy, anxious or in shock… he is just disappointed because he did not get to talk with the alien… and I was disappointer becase I did not get to watch my favourite alien kill and rip people to shreds.
    This movie was not what I wanted – a simple alien movie just with more backstory… instead this was meant to be bigger and more deep… I just saw is as Splice meets Evolution (2001) meets the Fourth Kind…. and any of these movies was more deep in it’s specific field and just more entartaining… while all being not good movies…

    Some of the things that stuck out the most for me:
    Alien suicide at the beginnig – An alien killing himself for no apparent reason – why is he killing himlself? Why is the black goo (I assume it’s the same one as in the cannisters) dissolving his body? When humans (with identical dna ) drink the black ooze they get sick and change into something else… I don’t get it. .

    Maggots in space – maggots which evolve into snakes with black ooze. Why were there maggots in the closed part of the cave and not anywhere else. Why did nobody notice the maggots and pick them up for studies… I think some of those people would pay close attention to the floor, ground, dirt – especially the geologist guy andthe biologist guy… maggots are not sufficient life form for the red-ball-scanners so I guess the are not important. Why does the red thing detect life for inside another room but not the life form in the open area with the cannisters.

    Crazy android… again? – An androig killing people just out of boredome I guess. Why did he take the cannister. Whyd did no one notice that he was carrying a big bag and not ask him what was inside of it… he did not had this bag when they went inside the cave… Why did he open it and poison someone on the ship… he was not acting on any orders, was he? Maybe he was just bored… a long time in solitary can make even an android go crazy. Is it me or did the androids get frozen in the kriogenic sleep like the rest of the people? I don’t remember but at the end of aliens, Sigourney Weaver puts bishop in the kriogenic pod… why wa this android left for years running around the ship and using up it’s resourcess – energy, food, etc… does he have unlimitted warranty? It’s not for the language lessons… he could do that in his sleep… they can watch peoples dreams, so they surely can lears something during them.

    Movie make-up magic – A wonan running around on drugs, covered in sweat and blood and still with perfect make-up on her lips – goddamnit, what… did she just stop during the run for the alien abortion to fix her lipstick? Fuck this. She wears lipstick before she goes to bed, and right after she wakes up… she even wears lipstick when she wakes up from the deep sleep… the Charlize Theron character did not parade with such obciouse make up… what is wrong with the female scientist… was she just so worried about her looks? She is the only one having a good looking boyfriend on this crew…

    The oxygen tank i plot related – this is minor, but they got almost infinite oxygen in ther non existen tanks – what do they breathe and where do they get all of this air? Space suits provide only so much air.. but the geologist nad the biologist seem to have enough air for about 12 hours… an yet, the female scientist keeps going in and out of the cave for a few hours of few minutes… and suddenly shes got no oxygen.. .I would’ve think she took a new bottle each time she went out… why would’nt she…. maybe the crew guy in charge of replacing the tanks was killed but other people never complained about not having sufficient air time… If I was packing 12 hours worth of oxygen in my suit. The firts thing I would do when taking if off, is to make sure to refill my air supply.. especially in such a harsh environment… like take if of and plug in a wall socket or just to place the oxygen tank in some sort of refiller or just take a new one.

    All people act like robots… Ridley Scott is known for this… all people act like robots… what… 10 people got killed by an human-alien hybrid? Somene clean it up and never bring it up again… who cares. 2 scientist got killed… why would anyone like to monitor them or just watch what happend? Whatever…

    I guess this is nitpicking but If i did not get to watch just what I wanted – another alien movie, the makers of the movie wanted me to think about god, creation, mutation.

  • http://twitter.com/StevenBanta Steven Banta

    THANK you, Spoony. Everyone I know that saw it said they thought it was great. I thought it was a plate of ass, as you say. Keep in mind that I LOVE the Alien series. Prometheus was an abortion of storytelling.

  • http://idigcomics.tumblr.com/ Matt

    There might have been a bunch of comments about this already, but the “alien pregnancy” movie Spoony is talking about is not Creature but rather a different 80’s sci-fi b-movie called Inseminoid (aka Horror Planet). And yes, I am very sad that I know this.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Vukstradamus Vuk Stanovčić

    the movie sucks big time, but Michael Fassbender was phenomenal.

  • Erik Kowalsky

    This movie was so fucking bad I couldn’t believe it was Scott who directed it. So fucking bad I couldn’t believe that someone actually wrote something like that and went with it.
    The dialogue is something I’d expect from a C-grade director and the decisions of the characters are just stunningly stupid and so illogical that it offends me that someone actually expected me to watch this fucking pile of whore-shit. Just disgusting.

  • http://www.facebook.com/mrbartxb Bart Blommaert

    Actually they did bring 1 security guard with them. It’s only briefly mentioned though. But when they prepare to leave the ship for the first time some idiot tells the guard. “Don’t bring your gun”.

    This actually makes the movie even more stupid.

  • http://www.facebook.com/VitalemRecords Micah J Femino

    I think this is a totally fantastic sci fi flick. The only “plot hole” in my opinion: The fact that the main character could jump and do strenuous activity after having invasive surgery (though they TRIED to hole that one up by making her a “quick healer” after they land on LV.)
    But most of the complaints I see in this comment section – and anywhere else for that matter – has to do with lack of imagination, and lack of allowing poetic license to the writer and director. You don’t like the decisions the characters make? Well those are the decisions they made. You don’t like the conclusions/questions the movie proposes? Well, you should let them bounce around in your head for a while. You don’t like the logic of sending a bunch of idiots/dreamers millions of miles away based on cave drawings? Well, that’s what everyone was obsessed about with the whole “Mayan 2012″ crap. I think Ridley Scott was saying that we, the people of the Earth are (for the majority) a bunch of self-serving, mindless children thrashing about, justifying our actions based on speculation and here-say. That’s why he put a bunch of unlikable people in his movie. It’s the greatest Sci-Fi movie since 2001: A Space Odyssey – in MY OPINION.

  • Leather Face

    I’ll admit, when watching Prometheus I wanted to see the main Engineer at the end fight Spider-Man or some of the Avengers, and was disappointed when he just killed cripples and scientists, instead.

    Hey, I think Charlize was supposed to be an android, and the medical pod thing was supposed to be for Weyloni, or however you spell his name.

  • http://twitter.com/TheZaius DrZaius

    Had Spoony said this movie was worse than Alien Resurrection or Alien vs. Predator earlier in the review, I wouldn’t have even bothered watching this. That’s just a joke to say something as ridiculous as that. Prometheus was an excellent movie. Simple as that. It wasn’t a perfect movie and I wouldn’t give it 4 out of 4 stars but it was serviceable. The main flaw was the characters who weren’t entirely handled properly. Charlize Theron’s character just left me confused because of how randomly she’s dispatched. I don’t really care for much of the other characters on the ship. They probably should’ve cut some out or just given these characters more screen time so that we have SOME interest in what they have to say later in the film. But the rest of this movie was excellent. Alien Resurrection, on the other hand, was actually disappointing. It was a gory shlockfest and reminded me of Leprechaun in Space. And Alien vs. Predator was infuriating because of how they save the Predator/Alien hybrid for the sequel. The movie barely had any substance. They could’ve at least shown the hybrid and leave you with SOMETHING interesting to see instead of forcing you to sit through a horrible sequel (which I never bothered doing).

  • http://www.facebook.com/jbhaslach John Barton Haslach

    This is what I have to say about the C-section and how it affects the main scientist, can’t remember her name. Bullshit. My sister had a C-section while giving birth to her first born child. A c-section is not something that can be done and just walked off. I visited my sister in the hospital after her c-section and she looked destroyed. They had to give her a bunch of pain medication to help her through. I don’t care how advanced medicine in the future has gotten. No woman is going to sprint or repel down a rope after having her stomach cut open, her organs rearranged, her womb cut open and then having a live baby taken out and everything sewn up. No one.

  • CaptainDingaling

    I think that Charlize Thero’s “ship” was actually designed for her and Mr. Weyland. Remember they wanted to cover up the fact he was still alive. Also she is his daughter and obviously she is a company head so they both are important people that need to be protected. Just wanted to say that and also “The Black Guy”??? Common Spoony please tell us that you do know who “Idris Elbais” is.

  • http://www.facebook.com/angus.macknight Angus MacKnight

    I’m a huge fan of the line “alien sex tentacle beast”.

  • josh martyn

    god i need a snack

  • Atmos_Duality

    Not sure. It might be your flash player or some assets its using got mucked up (should be in appdata/roaming or such if you’re running Windows Vista or W7).

    The video is working fine for me right now.

    • Alex

      But I can watch other videos just fine. With different browsers too.

      • Atmos_Duality

        I dunno what then. I’ve only encountered this problem once over at Cinema Snob’s website for the review of Savages. I have no idea what causes it.

        • Alex

          I didn’t do anything but it’s working now.

  • http://twitter.com/MammaJambas Yomommmmma

    Oh fellows, you’re a disgrace to Atheist everywhere, stop commenting and get a life.

  • Fanihelvetet

    The dog is just too cute

  • Dunc Wallace

    “I see your father was killed by Ebola. What did that teach you about bio-hazards?”
    “It thought me to ignore them – to explore alien environments with minimal protection, risk my life to bring alien organisms onto our ship (which happens to be the safe environment because we are, as you know, allergic to carbon dioxide), operate on an alien head… which is alive… without even using a surgical mask. I also attempted to bring my boyfriend on board who was infected with a deadly disease.”
    “And… why did you do all this?”
    “Because I believe in Jesus, and that he will protect me. Would an android like you disapprove of my behaviour?”
    “I really couldn’t … sure I helped have you impregnated with a squid.”

  • Brendan Tucker

    Small point. There was a mural on the ceiling of the egg/vase chamber. The fuck was that doing on a research station?
    My best guess is that the Engineers are supposed to be just awesome at everything, and those are the scribblings of one bored, semi-competent dude.
    But then the Engineer we meet turns out to be a brute. He really has no character to speak of, which is probably the biggest let-down of the film.

    If we’d known ANYTHING about him we could have learned something about the Engineers. Every plot thread was leading to him and he fails to answer a thing.

    All the evidence we have says the engineers are no better than humans and will shoot the survivors down the second they enter their atmosphere.

  • Malidictus

    I still like this review. It seems like the major theme of Prometheus is a movie which thinks it’s a lot more profound than it really is.

  • http://www.facebook.com/sylvester.krapa Sylvester Krapa

    When I first saw this review I was shocked. A film that I was looking forward to was not only being described as disappointing but “astoundingly bad.” After seeing the positive critical review, I thought exactly what Spoony says in this videos: “Oh Spoony, you just hate everything.” But after seeing the film for myself I am absolutely stunned how much I agree with this review. Spoony even pointed out stupid plot holes I didn’t even notice.

  • Thalamus

    When you guys were talking about the alien pregnancy stuff, I started thinking about “The Astronaut’s Wife.” What the hell? Does Charlize Theron have some sort of freaky alien-pregnancy fetish?

  • Daniel Kulkarni

    Man, nothing puts you in a bad mood like being completely underwhelmed by a film you were excitedly anticipating. Maybe it’s no surprise that the script is crap, given one of the writers of Lost was involved.

  • Ninty

    Wow, you were so offended you pulled some of their supposed reasonings for “wanting her to not have faith” (which isn’t true, they were just bothered by it) out of your ass, when they even said they’d have enjoyed the film if it left the question of faith being worth it or not open to make for a more philosophical movie.

  • Truaaaa

    “Jesus freak”, theres that mouth that got you fired.
    Your religious intolerance, along with intolerance in general gets old fast.

    • Guest

      What’s the burr up your ass?

  • Fiery891 .

    I love how many are saying this vlog is an attack on religion. The reason why the existance of aliens *SHOULD* make people reconsider their faith is because most religions state that a God (or other supreme being) created Earth, then God was happy. So when were the aliens created? Did God consider humanity a failure and start over somewhere else? Were they previous creations before God made Earth?

  • Will Jonassen

    Coming only from a student level understanding of screenwriting, I felt the confusion in this movie came from the other writers and not just Scott, mostly because there are distinct style differences in each sequence. One of the writers came over from the Star Trek movies, and he’s not bad in his own right, but something like the ship falling over on Charlize Theron has his signature all over it, yet not so much Scott’s. I mean, Scott was good personal friends with P.K. Dick, who wrote Bladerunner, and as I understand it was already conceptualizing this story when he was still alive, so those set-piece, convenient, out of place scenes only make sense if the explanation is that Scott relied too much on the other writers to provide some blockbuster thrills around something that could have been better if only more focused. I do think some of the characters were annoyingly strangle-worthy, but in each of them was a hint of something deeper which I think centered on philosophy and social studies. This all seemed to get missed or muddied over. Religion and other aspects mentioned below I think need not apply, only general aspects of nature versus machine, or nature itself in its purest form versus life that manipulates nature.

    Instead, I got the sense that this was originally Scott’s outcry against old philosophies and the need to develop new values for a future world — i.e., the Weyland family representing the past, human conception of Nietzsche’s ideal of the Ubermensch, seeing himself as a somehow superior person/bloodline who’s morality centers entirely on selfishness, and then both sets of “aliens” in stark contrast to that, standing as an actual representation of Ubermenschliben (beyond man, beyond life) with one being how Nietzsche probably really envisioned it; one a true superhuman as Nietzsche almost word for word described it in “Will to Power,” and the other being a perfect evolution of nature, itself. The side characters, too, in their personalities as represented on screen, each stood for other humanistic and/or religious philosophies from the past couple of hundred years — which you can compare and contrast from some basic study and reading to figure out who’s what — and the protagonist alone standing for the mindset that might actually bring humanity to its fullest potential in a bright but dangerous future. When a character behaved stupidly or strangely, perhaps selfishly, it was a whole philosophy being challenged under a certain circumstance, not just the individual but entire notion seen lying to itself; such as the power and strength this feeble old man thought himself to have and replicated in his machine before being slapped down by a being of truer power, his idealism in David literally having its head torn off. Conversely, we see the protagonist do what no other character could have done in the notorious self-surgery scene, not just being a true superhuman with her mind, but having the courage and physical prowess to go through with it and still push on. What separated her above all was her capacity for empathy, doing what was needed to survive and let go when lost without losing the ability to still try to help and save others who had even wronged her terribly, before. She did what she had to do, when she had to do it, but she did it more with her heart than her head.

    There can be no self-creating man as the Ubermensch philosophy implies, nor creative humanism or anything of its like, because in this reality, nothing can be created or destroyed — the Law of Conservation of Matter and Energy — where these philosophies most of us carry around with us without even knowing it were developed into our culture in a time before the existence of the atom had even been confirmed, yet those thinkers felt their words to be pure science and absolute, hard truth. They can be wrong, and mostly were, in fact. We’re once again as a species carrying into our futures a selfish set of philosophies and value systems that are flawed at their very core. That seems to be the pattern, philosophy itself needing revision with each new understanding of reality, but rarely getting it. All that we call creative in our language is a manipulation of existing matter and energy, never an act of true creation, though it may very much feel this way when a thing in one person’s mind is expressed upon the world for another’s to experience in some way. By definition, however, such a thing is an act of communication, and firmly so, thus implying that our creative impulse and instinct is actually a communicative one, and that empathy is therefore crucial to the healthy development of our future potential when living in coexistence with natural law. I got the sense this is the main message written between the lines of this film that a lot of people unfortunately missed, and rightfully so, as it was buried beneath many layers of hollywood fluff and filler meant for pure entertainment (again referencing the near-silly action sequences like the ship falling over just so). We can’t know the industry pressures that may have been set against this movie for entertainment value and studio profit, but maybe if Ridley Scott just stuck to his guns, his roots as a auteur, and kept a more focused artistic vision than bringing on two other writers allowed for, this movie might not only have surpassed our expectation and more, but given us all a lot to think about as far as the future we are building and where we might go wrong in a much more clearly defined and focused form of storytelling.

    • Will Jonassen

      P.S. Many of the continuity flaws pointed out are perfectly legitimate in this vlog, but the surgical unit being for men one is actually pretty obvious (come on guys, you weren’t even using your brains while picking over completely mundane and blunt-minded details like this one, as if this were some literally intentioned story, often fair enough yet still asking for some genuine rebuttal), that she lied about it being her’s, having a clear secret to keep, when its sole purpose for being there was as an emergency backup to her elderly, dying father Weyland’s medical needs. So yes, the thing would obviously be programmed specifically to service his personal physiology, being an old man, as to him, he was the only important member there — if a hidden one — of this whole voyage with his personal goal of being validated as a supreme human being. This perhaps was meant as one of many warnings against the dangers of allowing such a monumental circumstance to be governed by individual rather than social/species-wide interests as is seen in some corporate and fascist cultures.

  • Bailey Voigt

    Happy Birthday, Bailey! Here’s this terrible excuse for an Alien prequel.

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